The Commercial Break - You Are Osteoporosis Sexy!

Episode Date: December 7, 2022

Age is just a number, or so they say! Many people have an age difference with their romantic partner(s). Few people get turned on by dentures and broken hips. It's a unique fetish and TCB has the footage! A man in Florida will only dates women at least 50 years his senior. Let's all watch and feel better about our own love lives...shall we? Scientists has bred the coca plant and the tobacco plant, making the smoke break that much more fun The new cobacco plant will take the world by storm, predicts Bryan Shakedown sweet is the parking lot flea market that pops up at concerts Anything is possible on Shakedown Street! Bryan takes Astrid o a Phish show A woman sues Kraft because her mac'n cheese can't get in her mouth fast enough A man in Florida like to date women 50 years his senior...at least! Jake goes on a date with a young woman and then goes out with an even younger woman! (65 and 35) Jake has to make a choice..move back to FL and get his rent paid or stay in PA and....get his rent paid Age is just number LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us or leaving a voicemail at: 1.855.TCB.8383 Lululemon.com is for people who like comfort! Watch Us on YouTube Dumb People Town Is a Very Funny Podcast From Starburns Audio Use This Link For Unlimited Talk & Tex on MINT MOBILE! 1.855.TCB.8383  or 661.BEST.2.YO (1-661-237-8296) Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Written By: Bryan Green Exec Producers: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Content Production & Research: Tina Khano YouTube Producer & Editor: Morgan Please Audio Editing: Christina A. Executive Director: Astrid B. Associate Producer: Gustavo Much Gratitude to Our Supportive Friends, Family & Spouses: Astrid & Jeff Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

He's had the rules for dating me. Listen up, call me but don't text me. You call me, I do not call you. You're gonna take a lot of Instagrams for me. You better be good taking photos. I'm sick of cooking and you're gonna cook everything. And it better tastes good. You better shut up when I tell you to shut up.

One time with my husband, he told me to shut up. I said, don't you ever tell me to shut up. You could have said, teach quiet. And he never said that again as long as he's left. On this episode of the commercial break. I got a friend that done $700,000, slipping at Walmart. This is my opportunity. Welcome to America. I will have spent it before I have made it.

Yes. I will have up to my beanie baby collection by $300. Bye, see you later, Brian. You're 16 now. Isn't it time to die? I got a couple more TCBCs and flipped in me. Sharon, nice to meet you. So nice to meet you. Nice yams, Karen. Love that golden hair.

Can I ask a personal question? Do you have osteoporosis? Oh, I'm into that. I'm into osteoportaker dentures out, will you? Let me see what you're working on. The outside of his house looks like a shack. And then the inside of his house, yeah, like a trailer on the side of the road. And then the inside of his house is like all dark hardwoods and fire plays.

Yeah, a bar card. This guy lives better than I do. You don't want to know why? Because all these old women are banned for it. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh yeah, cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I am Brian Green. This is my dear friend and co-host, Kristen Joy, hopefully best to you, Chrissy. Oh, best to you, Brian.

And best to you out there on the podcast universe. How hell are you? Thanks for joining us on yet another episode of this The'll commercial break It's not for everyone, but Fagnus or fiction is guaranteed in 30 seconds or less or your money back go to the tcbpodcast.com website Take a lot of journey I don't know about you, but as a former smoker I Often get the urge to smoke a fucking cigarette. Really? I do not. You don't? No. Okay.

Anytime that I like, I find to have it now quite disgusting actually. I feel like once a year. You smoke cigarettes once a year? Like a cigarette once a year. Oh yeah? Okay. And I'm a former smoker too. Yeah.

Oh, I haven't smoked a cigarette. Ah, another century. I smoked one cigarette since I quit and it just didn't quite have the same effect. Yeah, no. Every time I do it, then I'm like, why did I do that? Yeah, I get super cravings, but then I realize it's not gonna be what I think. It is like, sometimes I'll pull up to a gas station

and I'll see some jackass out there smoking a cigarette near the pump. And for whatever reason, I'll get a hankering real quick. I'll be like, oh my god, I got my pack of cigarettes and smoke a cigarette. But then I think about, well, that's not even worth it. It's not even worth it that I know it's not gonna be there. But I have found the perfect reason

to start smoking cigarettes again. Okay. Because, and I might, because scientists have now interbred, the cocaine leaf and the tobacco leaf, making a tobacco plant that produces the active alkaline in cocaine. Really? So now, crack cigarettes are going to be a part of our daily life.

First of all, fantastic news. Who's giving these fucking scientists a grant to fucking breed a cocaine tobacco plant? It's all for research. It's all for research, my ass. It's forgetting, I get in high. It's just get another way that these drug cartels are gonna make tons of money. They're gonna, you know they're gonna,

you know they're gonna pay somebody for one of those seeds and it's gonna start growing all around the world. You just know it and it's gonna be the best cigarette you ever have. It's gonna be like menthol, tons of that. You're also gonna wanna just smoke a rug with every other one of mine. One of mine actually.

Oh, yeah. It was because the come down is always worse than is always worse than the high kids. Just remember that. The come down is a bitch. And so, yeah, I can see how this is gonna, this is going to spread like wild fucking fire. That's crazy.

And people are gonna, this is gonna be a brand new drug that people are doing. And people are going to, this is going to be a brand new drug that people are doing. They're going to be just, you think they're smoking a cigarette. What they're really smoking is fucking cocaine. I mean, listen, I had this guy, this. I was going to say how have people done that? Yeah, you know, you know that guy, you know that guy, D.

D. D. What up D? I don't know. I don't know like that man. I ain't good. You know D up D? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. So D is a dealer of party favors. Let's put it in the Dibbitty Dabs, the Sniffy Snorts, the... The Sniffy Snorts. The Zannies, the bars, the...

The Double X's, the Triple D's, the... The Oxy's the the double X's the triple D's the Oxies the noxies You know just to be clear we haven't seen D in a long time. No, it's been like two decades since I've seen D I wonder where D is currently who's smart guy. I hope he Found a more legitimate source of business, but whether he did or he didn't this is legitimate source of business It's in some way shape or form right? You just can't report it on your text. No. So what I saw a D-do a couple of times was take the end of his cigarette and dip it in,

like, lick the cigarette and then dip it into a pile of cocaine, right? And then he would smoke that. And I forget what he called that, a hot smoke or something, a hot stoke or a hot hot. I don't know. I don't know, something about hot. I don't know, I just decided to stay away from the crack. I don't know, I do. Yeah, I think that was a good, general idea.

I don't know, I remember, I told you that story about that one time I got stuck in a house full of crack smoke. Yeah, heroin and crack. Yeah, those two things, I just avoided the plague because I'd never saw anything a house full of cracks mocus. Yeah, heroin and crack. Yeah, those two things I just avoided like the plague because I'd never saw anything good come out of it. No. Those two people were.

They were super successful people. No. They were my age then. And the epitome of their life was searching the floor for extra crack rock or how clear can I make my crack? Like literally they were buying Coke and they were cooking it up in their kitchen. And I worked in a restaurant

and I had gone to their house for a party one night and I didn't have a car. And this wasn't a time when you could just call an Uber on your phone. We didn't even have cell phones back then. I mean, they were like, Zach, you know. A brick. Yeah, they were like a brick, right?

And they were horribly expensive to use. So I was stuck at the whims of the taxi who oftentimes like, you know, I'm on Tuesday night at three in the morning. This taxi. Nors of Atlanta, you couldn't get a taxi for like two hours. No. And just turned into like a whole crack-dened situation.

And I didn't know what the fuck was going on. But all of a sudden, people are like, cooking up, shit. And they're like, squirreping. It was the original dinner party you expected. It wasn't a dinner party you expected. It wasn't a dinner party at all. It was a wild scene. And I didn't see those two achieving a lot in life

to be quite frank with you. Yeah, you said note to self. I said note to self. Don't do that. If they ever breed a tobacco plant with a cocaine plant. That's what I'll be. Stop smoking cigarettes. This just seems so wild. Who comes up with this shit?

Who comes up with this shit? People, everybody since the beginning of time has been trying to figure out how to get high. I know, you know, I was looking like, mind altering substances. So I don't know what the difference is between, give me a little bit of lipstick. Who wants that brown hair? Brown hair. Like this stuff between who wants that promise

right? Who wants that ass? I got that good good. I got that good good. Sniffies, snorties, rollies, what you need? Rollies, Polies, Sniffies, snorties, dippy debbies. You need those bars, you need those beans, I got it all. Oh. Mm. Welcome to the fish after party here at the commercial break. Oh, God. We're, we're, we're, we're running on the air. I know.

I think at the end of the season. The last time, the last time that I went to a fish show, I was with Astrid. We went to a, why you said Astrid? I took Ast went to a fish show, I was with Astrid. We went to a fish show. Why are you two astrid fish? I took Astrid to a fish. And I love fish. I just think fish is like, they're not my favorite band in the world,

but I think they're really musically talented. They are. And when they get into a good jam that's melodic, I love it. Right? All that jizzy jazz stuff that they do, like, you know, 15 minute jizzy jam. I got my hula hoop out. I got my hula hoop out. But when we were, you know, we were like walking through

Shake Down Street and people were like, Asshole! God! And I was like, I'm sober! I'm the one who work. I know what they're trying to do. And what it is is that like if someone is in a psychoactive state, like they've taken

some psychoactive drug, when they walk by you and they're like, shh. You know, they whisper in your ear, you know, brrrr. What they're hoping is that you're already fucked up and that you like, like a cat. Like you start paying attention to this, you're like, oh, I did a roll.

Or you're specifically looking for them. Or you specifically looking for them. The guy that's dirt sober, I haven't smoked a cigarette in two years let alone had a drink. It's like, it just didn't have the same effect, but I remember going to my first fish show and every time it was like a goldfish and a shiny thing

I was like I just said acid do we need some acid? We do. Yes we do. Do we need more acid? Do we already take in a lot of acid? Should we get some more acid? Yes we should. Speaking of idiots around the world. There is a lady who has decided that she is going to sue the craft Nabisco company. What this time? Didn't they just get sued a little while ago?

Yeah, they had their toaster strutals or whatever. Yeah, I guess. I'm gonna risk something like that. No, it was the strong, very weak. And yeah. It wasn't the health food that the lady is sued. It was a fucking pop tart.

And the lady sued her because it wasn't the strong, very recent or strong, very strawberry pop tart like she was looking for like a sugar coated gut bomb did like save her health so now I love you bring lawsuits that's the that's the great thing about this country and it's the worst thing about this country we need to reform badly but anyway that's a whole different story this lady who I assume is the same lady who sued craft over the pop tarts, is now suing because her macaroni and cheese

in a pre-contained, like a pre-loathing container. Yeah, there's a little cups. There's a little cups for. All right, which is like the, not only is mac and cheese delicious, but it's probably the worst food you can put in your body, but then it's twice as bad when you just put it in a microwave

or we'll cup and toss a water in. Yeah, you want it to be good. It's a desperate. It's a desperate attempt. It's a desperate food choice like when you're after a fish show. Yeah. Exactly. He could hang over. Yeah. You're like, I'll make two of those. Uh, dig two of those. Put some water on it. Yeah. That it all turns out okay. But it's never quite as good as like real stuff, right? Never. It's like a watery nasty version of real metal. It'll do at the time, but it'll do, but this lady is suing because it says, please heat

on in the microwave for three and a half minutes to get your shit cooked. Yes. And she has found over the years that it actually takes closer to four and a half minutes to make it the way that she likes takes closer to four and a half minutes to make it the way that she likes it. And Kraft has you rapidly harmed. I'm just so. Hey, Jim, what are you doing over here?

I mean, why don't you just cook it for the amount of time you know that works? Because they have to sue. That ain't getting me out of the trailer park. I got a friend that done one to $700,000 and slipping at Walmart. This is my opportunity. Welcome to America. I will have spent it before I have made it.

Yes. I sure will. I will have up to my beanie baby collection by $300. The lawyers will take half and I'll be left with nothing. Hey Jim, come on over yonder. Look here. I tried to cook this for three to half minutes and it ain't done yet. I'm calling the attorneys. How fucking... That's ridiculous. Awful. Do you have to be awful. Just like a nasty, despicable human being do you have to be to go sue someone for five fucking million dollars because it took you an extra minute to get the worst kind of macaroni

and cheese out of your micro. You're not even saying like, you know, something about the actual mac and cheese. You're talking about the pre-packaged time. They sell these for 98 cents at Walmart. Yeah. You're suing for $5 million because multiple times you bought this product and decided it takes you longer to cook than is worth your fucking time. I mean, you're not even cooking it.

Is the thing? You're not doing a goddamn thing. The microwave should be suing craft for all the extra work. You should be suing on behalf of your microwave. I mean, how much does a microwave cost? He stays too late. $7. Yes. I mean, there's no such thing as a nice microwave. It's silly. They're all just the same. You can put there's a kind of you like load up on top. You know, the really fancy kind, the frigid air or whatever it is. But most of us have including myself have the $39 fucking microwave from target.

But by the way, we'll still be here 10 years from now and not age today. It'll still work. I don't know. I've had microwaves for so long and I don't know of anyone that's ever bought a new microwave. Like that crap down. Yeah. They just don't. They're just pumping you fuller radiation 24 hours a day.

Which is actually not what they do. So what? Yeah. They think about it. Actually, not what they do. So, yeah. They think about it. Have you ever had a broken microwave? I bought a new one when we moved to this house seven years ago when we bought this house. I bought a new one because the other one, it wasn't that it crapped out. It was just kind of nasty because I had had that one since I was married to my ex-wife.

I had had that one for almost a decade and a half. He just needed a new one. I needed a new one. But they don't stop working. No, they don't stop working. Unless you did something too. Why can't they, if they can make a fucking micro-oil? Yeah.

Microwave. I'll do that. I've seen a few spoons and forks and microwaves and it makes a really nasty racket. But you know, why can't, if they can make a fucking microwave that lasts for 10 years, why can they make a car that lasts for 10 years? They can, that's the answer.

But they don't make money on $39 microwaves. They make money on $39,000 cars. But how miserable of a human being do you have to be? I mean, honestly, to go suing a company for fun, is this is not just a frivolous lawsuit at its face and on the surface and below the floor. I mean, just the gas to get to the attorney's offices. I'm assuming the first one they contacted

didn't take the case. I'm kidding. I don't know what attorney's day in this case, but okay. Morgan and Morgan. Yeah, exactly. One call, that's all. By the way, I go to different states. I travel, I go to different states.

And that one call, that's all, is a different attorney in every state, you see that it's like a different attorney but they have the same fucking commercial it's like that when I tell my time I saw the same thing they co-opted the one call that's all yeah they're based and either Florida or New Jersey they're based in Florida and what they are is they're actually not attorneys they're just marketers on behalf of attorneys and they send you to some law firm that does frivolous lawsuit, bullshit.

This is part of the reason why America fucking sucks. It's because you and you're what I can only imagine, lazy asshole, couldn't spend an extra minute standing in front of the microwave. You had to literally sue somebody because you saw an opportunity, a bad opportunity. That's really weird. Why don't you just write a fucking note

and say can you change it and put a four in front of it instead of a three in front of it and also take into account that is very possible that your fucking microwave sucks, that you don't have it on the right power side. Very true. Yeah, like how, the power side is this scientifically been proven

or are you just a dumb dumb? Cause I'm gonna guess you're a dumb dumb. Cause if you're stupid enough to pick up the phone and call Morgan and Morgan and ask them if they'll take your craft nabisco lawsuit, then you're dumb enough to not know what power setting to put on it. I'm sorry, I don't know who you are.

I'm sure you're a lovely person who cares about people and have people to care about you. But you're in an asshole. Stop this, shit, stop it. You can't get rich off a crack. Do you think any jury's gonna award you $5 million for the extra minute in front of the microwave? No, they are not.

But then there's that lady who got coffee spilled on her and made $100 million. Well, yeah, she got fifth degree burns across most of her chest and face. So there is that. There is that. But the whole thing with the craft thing doesn't make sense. It's a famous case.

Lady Go Simmyk Donnells asks for a cup of coffee to the drive through. The person going through the drive through spills the coffee on her accidentally. The top wasn't secured enough. Spills the coffee on her and the coffee is so hot that it causes 5 degrees or 4th to 4th or 5th degree burns. Very bad burns. Very bad burns. Very bad burns. And this lady was older.

She was like in her 60s or 70s. And she actually had to go to the burn unit and all this other stuff. And the coffee was because the coffee was so scolding hot. So I worked at McDonald's right after this verdict was read. Like this is back in the early 90s, I worked there, you know, shortly thereafter, a couple years after. And there was a big hubbalu about making sure

that the coffee cups were secure, that the temperature of the coffee was a certain month. They actually turned down the thermometers on the coffee to not make it so hot. But then you'd have these older folks, especially older folks that would come in, and that coffee would be scolding hot.

And they'd be like, can you put this in the microwave for four or five minutes? I don't like be scolding hot. And they'd be like, can you put this in the microwave for four or five minutes? I don't like it. Super hot. And you'd be like, you want to that fucking hot? People, yeah, I know. People would get it.

It's hot. Tongue burn hurts. It does. It's like a rug burn with your tongue. I've had a few, I'm never gonna do it into it. Peu-be-carrot. Peu-be-carrot causes tongue burns too. I'm just gonna say that Chrissy.

But so does Razer. So does like a stubble and stuff like that. There's all kinds of burns that you can get on your tongue. But these people would come in and they'd ask for it extra, extra hot because they complaining that we turned down the temperature on the coffee, which was insane. For your own safety.

It's for your own safety. We have to put guardrails on this. Like this. You go, let me give you an example. After night, spend some time in Switzerland. We lived in Switzerland. For a short period of time, I lived with a Roshi, went to school, went to got her master's. You did banking. I did banking. I was a banker. Banking. I can't even do my own banking. I don't even understand how my own bank works. That's such a hard time with all that.

I'm not in the world of high-falutin' finance and I can't even do my own banking. It's so unbelievable. It's so unbelievable. But you know what they say. Falling upwards like the rest of them. So we go to Switzerland and we go and we visit Zurich. And when we go to Zurich, we understand,

it's the middle of the winter, it's freezing fucking cold, but they have a zoo. And we're like, let's go to the zoo, let's go to the local Zurich zoo and see what it's all about. They have, they have some unbelievable zoo. Really? You walk through the zoo, Chrissy,

and there is the tiger, there is no railing, there is no guards, there are no security officers hanging around. The tiger is there. Now they're sure you're at a zoo. I don't know, but you know, could have been a rape. I'm not sure. Could have been a fish concert. I'm not sure. Are you saying you just wonder and just stumbling to like a weird animal exhibit? Yeah. Welcome to Shvitzi's Animal Exhibit. Don't touch the tigers, but have sex with the shiba. Welcome to Shvitzi the wee wild. Those Germans, those Germans are wild.

So we go to the zoo and of course there's like a little moat or something that separates like the tiger can't jump over and get you, but there are literally large cats, elephants, giraffes, and there are no extra guardrails around. You want to know why? Because the fucking Swiss people do not sue everybody and their mother over every little thing. They understand that you're a human being and your choices are your fucking choices.

Don't be a dumb dumb and you know what? By and large, what we saw, no one was a dumb dumb. Everyone respected the fact that there's a tiger you shouldn't go any closer, right? That's it. Just enjoy it in its natural setting. If you don't fuck with it, it won't fuck with you, there we go. But here in the United States, we have people at the Atlanta Zoo who are literally hopping fences to hang out with elephants with their three-year-old child. It's the dumbest fucking thing I've ever seen a buying child like a photo opportunity next to a thing that could step on you and kill everybody involved is not a smart idea. And you know what? People in Switzerland seem to understand that.

But people in there in America don't, because you know what's gonna happen. That guy, that father, remember that story we told two years ago? Father here at the zoo, there's a new exhibit. The exhibit has basically these electrified fence. And so there's like five little pieces of wire that goes about maybe like 15 feet, that separate you from the elephants.

It gives you a really good view of the elephants without a cage or mesh or netting or anything like that. The elephants don't go near it because they'll get electric good and people don't go near it because there's fucking elephants behind it. But this guy decides, but there's like three feet in between each wire. So if someone really wanted to, they could simply

walk over the railing because of course there's a railing to, they could simply walk over the railing because of course there's a railing because it's America, walk over the railing and then slide themselves in between that little space right there, that three and a half foot space, and they could go hang out with the elephants. Well some guy did that with his fucking three-year-old child. They went and they hung out near the elephants so that someone could take a picture of them. That elephant had it hurt anybody, had it hurt anybody. Would have been sued. That elephant would have been sued.

Jingle jangles the elephant, $5 million, because you broke my leg. It's, that's the way the America works. Can't we all just fucking, I'm gonna add to the treaty. It's a treaty. I'm gonna add to the treaty. We need some torque reform.

I need to keep notes of everything we're adding. I can only remember sidewalk. Yes, but the sidewalk, the breathing, the airplanes, the feet. Yeah, the feet. And now we're gonna go for the zoo, the great zoo treaty of, great American zoo treaty of 2022.

If you're gonna be such a fuck nut, that you feel like you have to ruin it for everybody, don't sue everybody else involved because you made the mistake. Yeah, it was your mistake. If your dumb ass is gonna have nothing but craft macaroni and cheese, three meals a day, and you calculated how many minutes you've wasted on extra cooking, then you know what? Don't bother the rest of us with your bullshit. Amen. Hallelujah to a holy shit. Where's the Tyler? Where's the title? Oh, Chrissy, I was thinking about Marlin the other day, I was thinking about Marlin. Hi, Marlin. Hi, Marlin. And you know what I

decided? I decided that I wanted to take a deeper look at the age gap relationships, more specifically, older women who'd like younger men because boy boy yeah what we talk about most often in society in general is the age gap usually between the woman and the man me anymore prevalent seems to be more prevalent right uh... in heterosexual relationships that men are attracted to younger women and that women in some cases are attracted to older men and it's understandable

because men's brains don't stop growing until they're dead Dead right man, then they die earlier too. Bye, honey Bye see you later, Brian. You're 16 now. Isn't it time to die? I Got a couple more DCBCs and flipped in me Chrissy's in sad plays playing dominoes. Pain uncle. Pain uncle. We still have to play. But we will. We're gonna go and what's the game that they like to play at the red shuffle board? We got a shuffle board. I don't care. See you later. Bye bye. Tell Matthias. I said hello. He doesn't care, but okay. He's too busy in Italy. Oh, he went to Italy. Yes, on a private plane using your residual checks from the commercial break

Hey, honey the next time I hear from you. I only want to hear welcome back to this episode of the commercial break Welcome back home. Yeah Nice been traveling. Welcome back home to the shady acres Welcome back under the shady acres live from shady acres. It's another episode of this book commercial But only when you'll have her made it the only one you'll be welcome back to episode 356,022 Oh, that's you Oh, I got a period again. I'll be right back My frost dates and lards. I stopped coming 21 times a month, two years ago. I think we are getting a little giggle out here at

the end of the season. No. I mean, we've done a hundred and fifty episodes, guys. You got to give us a break We've just this year right? We started three episodes just this year. Yeah, we started three episodes back in February I think we started to do three episodes a week So we have done at least 40 weeks at least 40 or 45 weeks. We're 120 30 episodes in cheers. Here's to you Here's to you the listener who's actually put up with us For 120 fucking episodes. Next year we're going to go to five episodes because Astrid needs a new car.

Yup. Baby's new juice. Oh yeah, and I'm going to have plenty of them running around here pretty soon. Hey everyone, it's time for the commercial break inside the commercial break. Did you know you can dial 1-855-TCB-8383? That's 1-855-TCB-8383 from anywhere in the world. toll free. text us.

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So go to LuluLemon.com, get comfortable, get cozy, get Lulu Lemon this holiday season. For anyone who needs a little comfort in their life, LuluLemon.com, and we want to thank Lou Lulemon for becoming a sponsor of the commercial break. Alright, so I was trolling on the internet. Wow, as you like. As I do like to do, and I found a video where this lady or this man is attracted to dating older ladies, and we're not talking like a little bit older. We're talking like a lot older.

You wanna take a look at this guy? I would love to hear it. Here we go. Thinkin' of you, Marlon. Whenever they start with the harmonica, you know what it is. They're in for good fun. I love it. They're in Pittsburgh. I like blow jobs without teeth.

I don't think it's going with Pittsburgh, but I never know. Pittsburgh is known for the blues. Pittsburgh is a beautiful city by the way. I really like it. Yeah. Pittsburgh is a beautiful city, by the way. It is. I really like it. But it's known as like a kind of a dark steel town, right? But it's not. But it's kind of what they're known for.

My name's Kyle. I'm 31. I live in Pittsburgh and I'm addicted to dating older women. Here's Kyle. Really good looking guy. Yeah. He says he's addicted. It's like addiction is like something that affects your life in a negative way.

I'm interested to find out what that means. Much older women like 60, 70, 80 year old older women. A lot of them. He's 38 and he's with 60, 70, 80 year old women. I mean to each thorough own. Oh, what the hell wants? The dick. The dick wants what the dick wants. Think about older women. All of the smell. I love the feel. I love the mentality. I love dentures. Women, you know, they can be self-conscious about dentures. He loves dentures. Why do I-

He said he's I love dentures. I love the touch, I love the feel, I love the smell. I wonder what he means specifically like that. Mine set. But you know what they're like? The mindset is, is right spot on for us. You know, this started with my grandmother, but I have a real respect, I mean, I respect for all humans,

in general, except for the lady who's suing craft. I have respect for older women, especially, because I think they're really like, women like in their golden years, 60, 70, and 80s, because they're super sharp. They've seen a lot of shit. They take no shit, and some of them, like some men out there, like some older men out there too, they take a lot of pride and In how they look they're like just like like a classy older woman It's not someone I would want to date, but I have like I don't know there's something my grandma used to be like that

She would always smell good and look good. Yeah, primped in pringed and she was super sharp and she took no bullshit Papa Joe, yeah, yeah, he's like that as well I would say he said, yeah, if I wasn't his granddaughter, I would too. Hey, man. He says you got a smell good and you got to look good. You got to smell good to feel good. This is my new motto.

I'm waking up this morning. I'm feeling, I'm gonna add that to the commercial break. I'm gonna do the commercial break. Smell good to feel good. Ladies, I promise you, telling your man that that to the commercial break. Welcome to the commercial break. Smell good to feel good. Ladies, I promise you, telling your man that you have the intro will not turn them off.

It'll put a smile on his face, it'll put a smile on his pants. Okay, let's slow down. Just, what's that? It's a joke, man, being weird, but. That's really kind of weird. Yeah. I don't want to gummy for anybody.

No. No. No. No. It says Kyle hasn't dated anyone younger than 60 years old in the past five years. His oldest girlfriend was 91 years old. Why do I feel like Kyle might have altered her motives?

I think so. Let's listen. I'm going to state a website right now and there's a link on here in him, Karen. She absolutely has to look them attractive to. She has to apply to them. Okay, hold on. Stop. He's on a website.

He's on a sugar mama website. But this picture, this he's on a website. He's on like a sugar mama website. But this picture, this guy's a handsome guy. He's a relatively handsome dude. Good looking dude. But look at his hands. I was gonna say, his name is... Those nails are out of control. I never trust a guy with long manicured nails.

It's just, something about it doesn't look good. Are you with me on this? Like, guys with really long nails? No, I don't like long nails Yeah She has a great smile. She looks better unless you play flamenco guitar Yeah, but I'm just guessing that our boy here is not a flamenco guitar player. I'm guessing Be very adventurous. So I'm gonna send a email. There's a lot of terms for sex-y old women

There's milk. Say where she's tiger. I've also heard Cougar, my favorite term I'll probably say it would be silver fox, because the silver fox relates back to the platinum hair and that's what really turns me on. What really turns you on as a platinum hammock, so I'm going to get this. Right, yeah, there's something else going on. Yeah, because it's not like one woman that you dated that you had a really solid relationship with that was an older. You're saying women, and they're showing pictures of multiple women. Yeah, you're praying on older women.

It's still for Fox's. So I just didn't aim out of Karen and hopefully she responds. Yeah, she's gorgeous. Well, the fact she responds, I needed to go out for a nice dinner and I really do need my rent paid. It's very cold in here because my gas isn't on right now. Ha ha ha. For someone who realize I was a trekked old woman,

I was in sixth grade. Six. There was a really, really sexy teacher and she was probably about 65. She had the platinum here, she was top heavy and she was just gorgeous. Kyle dated his first older woman when he was 18 years old. She was 50!

Geez. Sex older woman. The truth is, they like it. A 68-year-old woman enjoys passionate, vigorous sex just as much as a 23-year-old college cheerleader. Well, sure, why not? Yeah, 23-year- college cheerleader. Well, sure. 23 year old. Yeah, 23 year old cheerleader. Let's come college cheerleader.

College cheerleader. It says after learning about his addiction, Kyle's buddy Rich set him up on another date. That's a good way, man. With an age appropriate woman. Okay, let's see how this goes. Where am I, age? It's not that I can't recognize that they're attractive. I mean, because they are, of course.

They don't usually have the credit score of the women in their 60s. I mean, I guess the way I look at it is they're just, they're not ripe yet. Hi, how are you today? I'm Candace. In walks Candace, a very attractive younger lady. Yes. My first impression I can of this, she was cute as to me. My look to her, I thought to myself, I bet her grandma is gorgeous.

So you don't want me asking? Oh my god, I don't know. Something doesn't seem so altruistic about Kyle's motives here. What is a normal date for you? Normally, she's between 16 2016 I think 16 normally it's at the funeral home and I've just signed the will on her behalf And got her a state I'm usually at the estate agents I'm gonna go out and have drinks

Are you serious? Absolutely It's like my grandma's age. What's your name? What's your name? What's your grandma's name? Camus is someone that's like, oh yeah, that's a great way to get laid. That's 23-year-old college cheerleader.

What's your grandma's name? Did grandma have been through menopause yet? Sexy as shit, man. Sexy as shit. That's hot. Definitely hanging out with her. Just having fun. But she's not old enough for me. Why do you like women that are older?

Subvisual, man. I like the hands. I'm like white hair, I call it the plan of the hands. I like the one. I like the neckline. He likes the hands and he likes the white hands. The hands. I like the hands.

The wrinkly old hands. He's talking about our thighs. They are hands. Her yams. So my grandma used to say, it's like my mom. You got good looking yams, Brian. Thanks, mom. You got your legs are like a woman's legs are so cute.

Thanks, mom. You mean besides the seven inches of hair on them? I like the gawa gawa. No, no, no, no, no, no. Why do you think Rich set us up? Man, we're really cute for you. I think you was trying to call. I think he was doing it for the show. I like the gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa gawa g I was mostly in that with someone who's really attractive and see what happens. In 30 years, I'd take you a lot more seriously. And it's in 30 years. No, see it 30 years. Give me your phone.

I'm going to hold a whole bucket of phone numbers for 30 years from now. In 30 years, you're going to be 70, dude. 30 years, you're going to be 70. So then you'll be dating age appropriately. I'll just be catching up. That's right. I never actually met someone like Kyle before. He was actually super honest up front, and I liked that.

And I like that he does what he does, and he doesn't care what anybody thinks about it, and the women love him. But hey, tell your girl. Girls are always attracted to idiots. I mean, she walked away falling in love with this guy. Maybe this is just a ploy to get women age appropriate. He just pretends to like older women

for all the right reasons. I'm awesome, huh? Call you in 30 years. Yeah. I met this lady on line named Karen. I saw her pictures. I thought she was absolutely gorgeous. And I am so looking forward to meet her tonight.

Karen, Karen, nice to meet you. So nice to meet you. Nice yams, Karen. Love that, Golden Bear. Can I ask a personal question? Do you have osteoporosis? Oh, I'm into that. I'm into osteopotachia dentures out, will you?

Let me see what you're working with. I know. So good to finally meet you. Beautiful. Ooh. It's a little bit nerve-wracking because, Let me see what you're working with. You know, so good to finally meet you. Ooh. Ooh. It's a little bit nerve-wracking because, well, he is so much younger than I am. I've got butterflies in my tummy.

That hasn't happened in so long. Such a... Uh, Chrissy? The teeth. The teeth. Yeah. Yeah. So now he meets Karen, the older lady that he's been corresponding with online.

And... By the way, the online side look very weird. Yeah, by the way, this was filmed in 1997. That online side looks like our first website. It's now our current website. But don't worry, we're paying tens of thousands of dollars for a brand new website that'll function just like the current website This lady for all I'm sure he finds her very attractive according to him

But she has some teeth that have needed some work for decades Decades some of them are black. Yeah, we're checking dresses pretty So Karen showed up for dinner tonight. She looks sexy as hell. The long platinum pair of, and I thought, wow, I saw her. I thought he was really in the mood. I look gray hair when that was a big thing, you know, like might still be, but it,

we're like a couple of years ago, people were getting the gray. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Young people. Young people were getting the gray. Yeah. Not going gray, but getting color. You know no one noticed is like a lot of the famous men are now like going great. Who's that guy? Killer who's a peeler killer the guy the comedian, you know what I'm talking about He I just saw a picture of him and he like he's beard grow out and his hair grow out He looks like a completely different human being and it's all gray, like it's just gray. And it wasn't like one of the famous actors came out and there was a recent picture and

all of his hair was gray. And Astrid was like, that's crazy that he's got gray hair because he was had blonde hair like two years ago. Well, that was colored. Yeah, of course it was, right? But I think gray can be sexy. Absolutely, gray is sexy. I don't know. uh... yeah of course it was right but i think you know great can be sexy absolutely great i don't know

i don't know if this particular situation it's what it's all about but i never know right on one be look incredible in person you really do so sweet of you to say that i clipped on you why did you respond like how do we end up here i look at like all these celebrity women that are going out with younger men and I thought, well, you know, maybe I should try it.

You seem to be one, two. It's just me. Yeah, there's one, two. It's one, two. It's one, two. And then there's a lot of black around the other teeth. And then have you noticed that one of her eyeballs is sticking way out and the other one is like in her head.

She looks like one of those clowns that pops out of a thing. Intelligent. Although I'm not going to say that I necessarily decided to come out with you because of your mind. Likewise. It's your penis I've after. Likewise. Likewise. I'm here for your money. I'm here for your tits.

It's fun to be able to feel like this again, you know? Just... Oh! excited and quick reading. He's feeding her a cheese stick. Oh my god, it's fucking disgusting. It's not so disgusting. It's not so disgusting. Yes, between the teeth and the cheese stick and the thought of those two having sex, it's gone high, it's gone haywire.

Where did you find it? Thinking cool. Chrissy, the amount of time that I spend online, amount of time that I waste on this fucking show. All in the pr- I waste on this fucking show. All in the, I watched a masturbation coach. I watched a masturbation coach for the commercial break. And then I followed throughout his technique to show you all what's going on out there in the world. I feel like I'm a prisoner of war.

I wonder what's going to happen next. So you've done a lot of traveling. I've been around. Would you go? I've been around. I went to North Pittsburgh. I'm at the South Pittsburgh. It's like someone like me, because I'm old enough to be your mother, definitely. Maybe, old enough to be your grandmother, depending.

I'm very afraid of being taken home though. Oh, well, thank you. Oh well. After dinner, Karen agrees to go back to Kyle's place. List out. You want a desk? Yes, yes, you're right. On this one? Thank you.

Wow, he's not even like, he's not even being like, tactful about it. He wants to bag her. He does. Look at his bar cart. I know, he's got a little bar Carter getting it. Yeah, it's got it's got Sherry Brandy. It's like all the old people drink Sherry Brandy Corjole cordials

But then we're carrying yeah, there's no Yeager Mice or all that cart right there It's incredible. She was 100% my type. Oh! I had a wonderful time with Kyle. And I've had such an amazing time. I just don't want it to end. I wrote it in the check for his rent. That's good.

Get for them. Oh. Oh, they went into the bedroom. Does it sky a Kyle lived in Florida for two years? We're reading what the... It's coming up on the screen. Yeah, it's coming up on the screen. While he went on a lot of dates, he always came home to one woman.

His mom. Yeah. It's great, mom. Yeah. My name is Jackie. I came to visit Kyle from Florida I'm kind of hoping that he'll come back with me Oh, this is his ex girlfriend. Oh

Made it. She's coming to win him back. Yeah, she's coming to win him back She's like well, I ain't getting any out of Florida. Yeah, there's lots of Kyle's in Florida There's lots of Kyle's in Florida, but they all have less Geez. Jackie has three children. They are all older than Kyle. That's the real about them. Oh yeah, but they love Kyle. Yeah, my mom brought home a guy that was 31 years old. I'd be like, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope.

I'd be like, my mom doesn't have any money. Right, just so that you know, my mom has no money. Otherwise, I'll have fun. Yeah. I pay for that retirement home. We have so much fun. Now if you want someone that has money talk to Astrid because she holds all the rights to the TCB masters. We're really done. Yeah, we did have a good time. I've missed you. I missed you a lot. My closet. I know. Nobody to go to the movies with. I know bro.

Kyl and I are. I know, bro. Kyl and I are, bro. I know, bro. What the f***? Uh, and we're best friends. What's that? Is he on drugs? I think so. Yeah, I think he's on drugs. And he's on something.

Yeah, I smell an affectation there. Something's going on there. Yeah. We just seem to be alone so long. Even when I was dating whoever, I knew we were dating, whoever. We seemed to always come home to each other. I miss that.

Mom, miss it too. I miss you. We seem to always come on together. We've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, we've been waiting, I'm gonna crossroads. I have to make a decision. I mean, they're gonna stay in Pittsburgh or I'm going to die to Florida. Be the Jackie. What about all the other women that you were chasing? You're going to be a little... Florida to Pittsburgh is a pretty big job. Yeah, why would you move from Florida to Pittsburgh? Or vice versa? I mean, honestly.

First of all, second of all, the outside of his house looks like a shack. Like a trailer. And then the inside of his house, yeah, like a trailer on the side of the road. It did. And then the inside of his house is like, all dark hardwoods and fire place. Yeah, the bar cart.

This guy lives better than I do. You know, I don't know why. Because all these old women are paying for it. Karen was 100% my type. I would definitely date her. Yeah, we've dated for a while. Man, do I feel insured? She's a lot of fun. Should that not work out? Florida is a hotbed of sexy ass

grandmas. Well, I guess that's true. I guess that is true. Yeah, if you're going to go, if there's a capital, right by, did he move away? Yeah, you go to Naples, Italy, or you go to Naples, Florida. Yeah. Yeah. Kyle is currently living in the sunshine state. Went, he or you go to Naples, Florida. Yeah. One of the two. Kyle is currently living in the sunshine state. Went, he's dating several older women, including Jackie.

He wasn't Pittsburgh two seconds ago. I guess now we're moving forward in the video. It's great editing on behalf of whoever made this. This is no TLC talk. I'll probably find out exactly who that is. All right, there's a part two to this. And yeah, this is no TLC production. I gotta catch you up on all the TLC show, by the way. They're just great, all of them, they're great.

Oh, I don't know about that. That guy who has multiple wives, that sister wives guy that I fucking hate, he's such an asshole. They're still doing that. They're still. Milk and that. Well, he's dropping lives every season.

He started with six and now he's got two. Oh, okay. Because unbelievable. I also want to update you on a few of our listeners, one of which is in a poly relationship for a long time. I think I talked about this and it's working out for her. And I'm super excited to share some of her story. So we'll get that.

Maybe we'll do that next week. Do you sure? All right, well, listen, that's all we can do for today. I really appreciate you coming on board and listening to us. And taking note. We're on episode number 360 this year. We desperately need a break. And we're going to take one in between season three and season

four, but brand new episodes the entire time mixed in with some best-ups, and we'd like you to be a part of that best-up show. So, 855, T-C-B, 8383, 1-855, T-C-B, 8383, toll-free from anywhere in the world. You can text us, you can call and leave a voice message, and if you leave a voice message with your favorite clip or segment from season number three we might put your voice right on the podcast, that's what we'd like to do. So or text in and I'll mention you when I actually do the drops inside of those shows but I want you to be a part of the makeup of the show because I put together best of shows and no one fucking listens. When you send in the stuff, you guys listen.

So that's how it goes. I have bad judgement, you have good judgement. I just sit here behind the microphone and maybe it's time that I give up control to you at 555TCBA3A3 or tcbpodcast.com. Leave us a email through the site, go to the contact us button, send it on over, and what we'd really love you to do is go to youtube.com slash the commercial break, or in the search function on youtube, do that little lat symbol tcb podcast, and up will come our channel with all of our videos. If you could subscribe to that channel, and like on your favorite videos, and also watch

the full episodes about a week after they air, It's a whole new TCB experience when you watch a Morgan does a great job. We'd like to thank Christina, our audio editor, our executive audio producer. She's doing a great job. Also, she's allowing me to see my children at night, so that's a wonderful thing. That is a good thing. Alright, okay, so I guess that's all we can do today, Christina. I think so, right. We'll get to part two in a future episode.

I love you. I love you. Best of you. Best of you. And best of you out there in the podcast universe until next time, Chrissy. And I always say we do say we must say. Bye.I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl You