The Commercial Break - You Like That, Podcast Bro?!

Episode Date: March 17, 2023

Down with the podcast bros and up with AI porn? Bryan & Krissy wonder about the future of our world and Bryan's future in AI porn. Ever bought drugs out of an ice cream truck? Down with the podcast bros? TCB is back with more AI talk! Ai porn Is this the end of porn as we know it? Maybe, but TCB will be selling Bryan & Krissy pictures for your porn needs AI is just santa’s elves working away Tiktok is ruining conveyer belt sushi Krissy tells us the best way to crack an egg Patchouli…best or worst smell? Marlon update! Bryan thinks read receipts are designed to hurt peoples feelings TCB Editor Christina wonders who hurt him... Marlon & his Sugar Mama reconcile Are they in love? For the full Marlon history, check out these episodes: 168: That Is One Cheap Wiener Wagon 183: The Crowd Goes WILD! 185: Nodes, Needs, and Dial-A-Dates! 265: Heart Wants What The Heart Wants 273: It's Just Me, Loving On ME! 287: Fishing For Marlin! LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us or leaving a voicemail at: 1.855.TCB.8383 Speak to TCB LIVE by calling 775.TCB.LIVE (1.775.822.5483) Tuesday-Thursday 12pm-5pm EST Watch TCB on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Written By: Bryan Green Exec Producers: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Content Production & Research: Tina Khano YouTube Producer & Editor: Morgan Please Audio Editing: Christina A. Executive Director: Astrid B. Associate Producer: Gustavo Episodic Contribution: Marianne, Diane, Natalie, Will The Champ, Will D** Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

And I regret to say that there are people in this world who not only don't listen to Pitbull, but they might say Pitbull is it cool? And I'll challenge you by saying, what's not cool about a guy saying, it's Mr. Worldwide? Maybe his name is Mr. Worldwide, because he takes the whole world. Just like Jesus did in that one song, he's got the whole world in his hands. He's got the whole world in his hands. And he says, you're feeling down? Guess what? MFR? Not anymore. On this episode of the commercial break.

Well, that is what he's gonna be told when to do. Sometimes you want to just be tased in the balls repeatedly until you orgasm. Okay, that's it. Well, someone screams in your face. I'm gonna be told to you. You like that podcast, bro? You like that? The next episode of the commercial break starts now.

No funny in the morning! Ah, yeah, cats and kittens. Welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend. And oh, host, Kristen Joy, old lady. Best of you, Kristen And best of you, Ryan

Best of you out there in the podcast universe Have you? Have you ever bought drugs from a ice cream truck? Uh, not that ice cream truck Be a lot cooler if you did Not an ice cream truck But an old like repurposed cop car, yes. Hey D What the fuck man

Talking of course about the great the great drug dealer of 2000 D Who was a way ahead of his time he delivered way before it was called a deliver? Yeah, he knew he was smart guy. I like that guy actually. I really, really like that guy. He smelled good too. He smelled wonderful and I told him one time.

He didn't care for that compliment, but whatever. Anyway, he came over one night, Chrissy and I were ordering a pizza and we decided we'd order a D. Thank you. So he comes and he pulls up outside of Chrissy's apartment at the time, and I run down there, and all of a sudden around the corner turns the local security guard

who happens to have blue lights on his top of his thing. And he turns on the blue lights, he's like, whoop whoop whoop! He's riding down the street. What he's looking for, I don't know if he's looking for anything. But I have never seen anybody scared so shitless in their entire life. What the fuck? He goes, what the fuck?

Right? I was like, what? You try to give me a residence, is that the cop? I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, it's not me. It's the security guard. He'll call the cops and then you'll get arrested by them. Don't worry about it, there's still one step in the process. Go, run like the wind.

Drive like the wind. Drive like the wind. The security people say, we just can't park here. Yeah, you can't park here. Yeah, they moved up and they said you can't park here. Okay. If you're gonna do your drugs, do them somewhere else. Anyway, you gotta sell drugs.

You can't do it in this parking spot. You gotta go to a handicapped spot like all the other drug dealers. In Slide L, news coming out of Slide L Louisiana, 42 year old Tamisha Morin sold crystal meth out of a blue school bus that she repurposed into an ice cream truck. Slide L police narcotics detectives pulled over the ice cream truck and an old Spanish trail Monday morning having no break, uh, break lights, expired license plate, no headlights. Why are you gonna, you're gonna sell drugs out of your fucking ice cream truck. You know, my uncle used to say something and I think you're, get your lights. I know. Get your life

together. I might get your lights fixed. Oh, get your lights fixed and your life. And your life. And your lights. Go get your lights fixed. There's something in my own, can you just say that I think it's just like, I think about it now, it's so true. He used to say, Brian, don't fuck up while you're fucking up. Yeah. Don't fuck up while you're fucking up. That's a double. Yeah, it's a double on a negative,

which is a positive, so that doesn't make any sense. But anyway, you get the point. So, these selling math out of a school bus is... And then repurpose into an ice cream truck? Repurpose into an ice cream truck where she was selling ice cream and crystal math. This is an idea whose time has come.

And her big brother, like peanut butter and chocolate. Go together, like peanut butter and salt and vinegar chips. I bet she had weed. I bet she did, I bet she had weed. I bet she did. I bet she had weed, unlike the weed store in Las Vegas. That had no weed. Yeah, you went to. Yeah, no weed.

I went to the only weed store in Vegas that it was out of weed. Every other weed store had weed, just not this weed store. They had to run on it after that podcast conference. Yeah, that's right. Oh, man. All the people from podcasts. Please. Yeah, I got this.

I read this article and I just think it's so funny and I really don't know what to think of it, but the article was titled something along the lines of, is it time to stop dating podcast bros? And let me throw it out there right now. I'm a podcast bro because a podcast bro is a middle aged man who gets on and pontificates about whatever. So I'm a podcast bro and a middle-aged man who gets on and pontificates about whatever.

Some podcast bro and she's a podcast sister, no doubt about it. But the article, I'm paraphrasing the article, basically went on to this lady, talked to another woman who was single, she went on a date and the guy said, I have a podcast, he was like a 35 year old. I had a podcast and the girl said,

that's automatic dating disqualification if the guy has a podcast because I don't want to be part of like most of the population right now. Half the population has a fucking podcast. I mean, you have to have population has a podcast that no one's listening to. Just like the commercial break. That's not true. We have somebody listening. My son, he likes to put it on the player. And Roxanne. Oh yeah, Roxanne. I texted me the other day and just so you know, I'm listening, listening to all of

it. Oh, I love Roxanne now. I love that one listener that keeps downloading the show multiple times. But she went on to say that, you know, it's kind of goch to be a middle-aged man with a podcast, pontificating about whatever. I think right now it's fun to kick podcasts while we're down a little bit. Are we?

Yeah, we are. And there's multiple reasons why. At all, a conversation all begins and ends with Joe Rogan. It's like if you like Joe Rogan podcasts are cool. If you don't like Joe Rogan podcasts are not cool. And I think that Joe specifically is like an archetype that some people really dislike. I don't agree with everything Joe says either.

It's not, I call him Joe like he's my friend. He's not my friend. Mr. Rogan. Mr. Rogan seems like a perfectly lovely human being, but I don't agree with everything he says or anything he believes. And I'm sure that, you know, some people- Most, I mean, most podcasts that you don't believe everything are here.

And I'm like, it's like a straight documentary and like telling in the past. Yeah, like if it's like one of those murder, you know, true crime. By the way, this is a tease up. We're getting ready to be a true crime podcast. Yeah, we are getting ready. By the way, next Monday, the commercial break turns into the murder break. What a break. Chrissy and I will turns into the murder break Chrissy and I will be reviewed for the murder breaks

Chrissy and I will be reviewing murders that people got away with it'll be fun So I just so I read this on the weight of agus for the podcast conference I'm reading about the bros, and everything that they're saying about the podcast, bro, is Brian Green. It's true. And I'm like, why am I even bothering? I'm like, did this fuck off, bros. My job's gonna be taken over by AI any moment now, which reminds me of another article I read

on the airplane over to Vegas. I read that AI, there's a website out there, or there's a community, not on Slack. What's the other one, the place where you message people and you can get your own server? I can't remember. And I have one. That little talk?

No. Anyway, no, it's, I can't remember the name of the website, but there is a website, and on that website, there is a section. We're not in a company that uses it. We're not, we're in a company that wishes it had AOL addresses because it just makes things simpler. I still put in my AOL CD before I go online, my DVD rom for 123 hours.

So I read this article. And the article basically states that there is a couple of places out on the internet where they are collecting information to make better artificially intelligent. They're collecting all kind of information. That's why you can walk through the security now without a driver's license. I mean, I was in Vegas. They didn't ask for my license. It's on your phone. So, the article basically states that they're asking people to input information, pictures, faces, positions, all this stuff, a database that an artificially intelligent computer, an AI computer, can then generate...

It's not organically intelligent. It's artificially intelligent. It's like, it's not organically intelligent. It's artificially intelligent. Okay. Yeah. It's like chat GPT, it's like chat DDD, you know what I'm saying? So all this information goes in and then what comes out is this AI porn. And there are a lot of people, me amongst them, who are concerned that this is the end of real porn, real quality porn. And by quality porn, I mean real live human beings,

that they're just gonna take pictures, images from other people, and they're gonna start manufacturing porn based on the likes and dislikes of people out there in the world. So you could tell, I don't know, you could tell the computer, hey, I like pink panties, a pair of balls,

and dime size nipples, and then out would come, you know. What'd you like? What'd you like, and then you can just watch that porn. So a lot of the porn industry is concerned about this because they believe this might be the end of actual real porn and porn actresses and actors being employed. I don't personally think this.

I think there's always gonna be a need for a good-looking body that can rock it for 30 minutes straight. Right. But. But so it does it like in video format, just kind of. Does it in video format? Yeah.

Oh wow. It's taking these images, this imagery. But mashing it up together. Yeah, you seem like chat GP's mashing it, smashing it together. If you seem like chat GPT or whatever these AI programs are, they are, you say like. Now, let me get on there. Disney princesses, 50 years old or 70 years old or 90 years old. But that's just a picture.

It's a picture generated. Right, but what about a video? Oh, that's all you gotta do is just press the video button. And then it's just, I need to get on there. You don't know how AI works, Chrissy. What you do is you can press the picture button or you can press the video button.

Okay. And then a lot of little people go to work in this big server center and they put together all these videos and then they throw them back to, that's how it's Santa's. Like Santa's elves. Santa's elves. That's how I'm imagining AI works because it's too complicated for my P brain

to rip my head around. I have no idea what's going on. But I do know now there's a program where you can take anybody's face and you can put it on top of a porn star. I do know about that. That is amazing. And I'm, let's do it.

Wondering how many people are using my face on their porn videos currently? Feel free here on YouTube.com slash commercial bake. I'm gonna give you a good shot. Okay, there it is. You can take that. You can have a shitty eating bride and fucking your favorite friend.

Ha, ha, ha. AI's gonna ruin everything. You realize that. It's a cat that's been loud in the back. Social media is ruined most things. And what's left? AI is going to ruin. For sure, without a doubt. We all thought that technology was just going to advance us far into the future.

And what we've got is a computer system that allows you to put a picture of your favorite celebrity. That's spiral. Yeah, a death spiral. That's all it is. If I could take a picture of my ex-girlfriend, people are gonna take. Myas will embrace it. Yeah. Yeah.

Can you stand still and smile to the camera just for a second there? Thanks. Chrissy Pictures now on sale on tcbpodcast.com for your favorite porn video. 1999 plus 1999 shipping and handling. And now every time you buy a Chrissy Artificial Artificial inseminated

Forward video you get Free of charge 99 plus 99 shipping and handling I've been having machinery! Y-Brand 3000 has not been approved by the FDA! Y-Brand 3000 made calls of rashes! Diff! Some falling out! Two Y-Balls come when we're in the 1! Y-Brand 3000 is not safe for all people! Y-Brand 3000 should not be used around pets! But Y-Brand 3000 can be used to fuck your favorite G!

Y-Brand 3000 made an awful sight in an eye-chitching app! That's not good at you! Let's start taking pictures! I think Scrophins's putting them on dogs having. You don't want X-Grofen having sex. No, I'm not interested in any of that. No, that be theality porn. I don't even understand where someone's gone.

You must grow up on a farm. Yeah, I don't know. You must be like a real animal over it. You didn't grow up on a farm. Like, why would you want to see that? I don't know. You know, you a real animal over it. You need to be grabbed on a farm. Like, why would you wanna see that? I don't know, you know, you get imprinted so young with some certain things. Maybe like you're three years old, five years old,

10 years old, whatever it is. And you walk out into the, whatever a farm has past your, I'm not a farm guy, so I don't know. But you walk out into the past year. And you see a bull like mountain of cow. And you're like, yeah, that's how it goes. Oh. What are you doing?

I don't get that. No. Picadilla whatsoever. Necrophilia. Yeah. Pedophilia and bestiality are three things that I just cannot wrap my head around whatsoever. Speaking of technology and far into the future. You've never been to Japan, have you?

No, but that's so weird. You just said that. Because I'm listening. Because it's me, the AI computer. Because I'm a digital. I'm on my favorite porn store. And then I also read all your emails. This isn't even an email I've been sent or have sent.

But last night, I met his inner party. My friend that was hosting his inner party, shout out to Holly. Hey Holly. Welcome to Zooker in the morning. Shout out to Holly and Renee and Demi all listening to us from Chicago in the night. Friday, Friday, my. Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, we're doing nothing to massage the concerns. Yeah, it's a massage the concerns about this being a morning show.

Zooker. Okay. So Holly says, Holly, I just gone, she had been to Japan before and she was wanting to take her son to Japan. So we talked about Japan then. Also, the girl that I just had my hair done with yesterday is going to Japan Monday. Lots of people go to Japan. Japan is a popular place. I know. I'd love to go to Japan.

It's actually on top of my list. Top of my travel list is Japan. I go to Europe a lot. I've been to the Caribbean. Mexico, Northern Lights. You can get some of that in Vegas. No. So you want some of that? AD.

AD. AD. AD. Uh, Northern Lights would be pretty to see, I think. Just wait for the next comment to come toward Earth and we'll all see him everywhere. So in Japan, they have, and everyone's heard of this. They have the conveyor belt sushi places,

which are extraordinarily popular because it cuts down on the labor and it's a fun way to eat. So for those of you that have your head in a hole, in Japan, there are many, many, many sushi restaurants. It's actually a very popular form of eating sushi, or a sushi restaurant, kind of gimmick, I guess, is that they make the sushi fresh. They put it on a conveyor belt that runs the entirety

of the restaurant, and then you pick up which one? I've been to one in Nashville, which got to be similar to Japan. Yeah, Nashville and Japan. When I think of Japan and Japanese culture, I think of Nashville. There's sister. There's sister. Boots, Bud Light and boobs. Spells Japan all day. I mean, I just the two are so similar. I can't even believe I can't even

believe Nashville is in the United States. Very, very similar. I'd actually been to one in Switzerland, which is just about as Japanese as Nashville. Sorry. The variation in skin color in Swiss, it goes from like super white to just pretty white. Okay. Find a dark, we're skin person. Ex shall. Switzerland. They're actually a show.

Oh my God. Okay. Look on the black person moved into a building. No, that guy's not black. Oh, he just has good time because it's like super white and Switzerland. Yeah, everything's so white. The buildings, the snow, the mountains, and anyway, I went to this place and it had the conveyor belt thing and everybody knows it. But now, Japan is going bananas because there have been a series of TikTokers who have gone into these places. And what they'll do is they'll...

They're talking with them. They'll fucking with them. Yeah, they'll spit on them. Yeah, they'll spit in somebody's food and then they'll put it back on the conveyor belt and there's been some even like more aggressive type stuff. And the Gary now. Yeah, no, don't do that.

It's in the negiri. Mm-hmm. Don't fuck with my tuna ahi bra. Yeah. Okay. Okay, my ahi body. I think I saw the thing about little containers, right little things on top of it.

Yeah, now they got to put little things on top of it with like a little piece of tape so you know. Oh, yeah. Because that's gonna stop the thieves from, that's gonna stop the people from doing it. When they have to actually take a top piece of tape so you know. Yeah, because that's gonna stop the thieves from back. That's gonna stop the people from doing it. When they have to actually take a top off of it. But this is like my worst fear ever. As a guy who's just got a touch of the OCD,

that's like kind of being pregnant. Like my- It's kind of. It's like having pregnant. Well, you're germaphac. Yeah, I don't like germs. I don't like germs, which is why I didn't like the, oh, shag of hands, because hotel and casino,

because everything's just dirty. And I don't like dirty things. Despite my general outward appearance, I do not like disgusting things. So this is like my nightmare. And then during the pandemic, when those people were like opening up a box of eggs and then licking the eggs and putting them back,

remember there's a couple of people that are arrested for that? Yeah. Take my COVID! I got COVID now, bro! Only been a... It's... I have eggs. I have a side note about that. Yeah.

So, do you know the best way to crack an egg? I just saw this the other day. Do you know? Is this a trick question? No. Okay. This is a... Do you know? Do I know the best way to crack an egg. I just saw this the other day. Do you know? Is this a trick question? No. Okay. Just a do you know? Do I know the best way to crack an egg? Is it on the counter? Is it on a ball? Or what? What do you think?

I tend to do it on the bowl, but there's a thing about me in cracking eggs. I have never not once, not ever, not in the history of cracking eggs. Gotten eggshell. Egg shell free. Never, never, never eggshell free. It's hard. And I worked at McDonald's for a long time and when I was on the grill, they had these big 12, there were circles, right?

Iron circles and you would put it on the grill. Yeah, to make the pretty boiled eggs. Yes. And then you'd crack the eggs, right? You'd crack 12 eggs and then when they're done, you flip them over or whatever. I, there's a reason why I didn't work the grill for very long. And that's because it took me an hour to make 12 fried eggs

because I had to take the eggshells out of every egg that I cracked on the hot grill. What is the best way to crack it? Well, from when I just saw the other day, it's against another egg. The crack to smash two eggs together? Yep. Well, how do you not get eggshells if you smash two eggs together? That's against another egg. To crack two, smash two eggs together. Yep. Well, how do you not get eggshells if you smash two eggs together? That's what it's at.

Have you tried this? No. We should try this. Yeah. That seems antithetical to me. It doesn't make much sense. It's a well-renowned chef. The world-renowned chef.

Uh-huh. Who was this? Frankie B. Mingsai. Mingsai? Mingsai. From Japan? Yes. Oh, there you go. That was Japanese. They got it all together. They got it all together. I just think of the

Japanese culture and I just, I'm so fond of it. My dad used to travel to Japan and he brings stuff back. It's so cool. Everything's so cool there. Yeah. Old and history and food and the whole thing. And, and socky and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and So I know. And I hear in America too, that it starts, same thing is starting to happen. There's a reason. There's a reason. And it's called TikTok. It's called the world is shitty. It's called the world is shitty.

Everything is transactional. Everyone's trying to fuck everybody over. And who really wants to get into a relationship? There's no real porn. There's no real porn. It's all that artificial porn is killing the sex drives of our young people. When you can basically blink your eyes and have the thing you always wanted right in front of you,

why would you go out looking for someone that's gonna hurt your feelings? What's that? Yeah, I read an article one time in the kid, the kid was like 18 years old, he's like, I've never had sex, I've never even been out of the girl for more than a couple of weeks and I don't give a shit because I have everything in my fingertips. Why would I want to go out with somebody who could hurt my feelings? We are so afraid of interaction, human interaction. True.

I was in Vegas, I get on that little plane train, whatever the fuck that fucking thing is and I hate the plane train. I hate the plane train. I'm on the plane train. I have a walk. You can't do that in Vegas. You actually have to take the plane train.

So you take the plane train. To like another. To another terminal. Yeah, you have to go all the way to another building. And yeah, I like the one in Atlanta because you can walk. And Lanette, because I can walk. Yeah, you can walk from terminal to terminal. to another terminal. Yeah, you have to go all the way to another building. And yeah, I like the one in Atlanta because you can walk. Yeah, you can walk from terminal to terminal. Love it.

And it could be like up to two miles, right? I love it. I do too. I love that one. And there's all this art to you. That's, and this weird dingy-dongy music. Like ding dong dong ding ding dong. Yeah.

It's just like a bunch of like, Japanese. Yeah, it's like a bunch of, I think it's actually African, but it's okay. Well, that's an African bunch of, I think it's actually African, but okay. Well, that's an African section. Yeah, that's a whole African section. That's like, I think that's terminal A. Yeah, terminal A.

So, I'm- So, I'm on B's got the cool rainforesty. Yeah, that's trippy man. That is. That's trippy. That's trippy. I have a few divedy daves and good terminal between A and B and Atlanta. Spowering out the terminal.

So, I'm on the plane train. Nose is running like a son of a bitch. Everyone thinks I'm high on cocaine. And so I don't have my phone is in my pocket, but I look around. There's probably 30 people on this plane train and not one of them, not one person, is not looking at their phone.

Every single person on that plane train is in their phone. I know this, what else to do? Like it's killing some time. Is there? Yeah, I did. Yeah, because everybody thinks I'm high on cocaine, I might as well act like it. I did, I was like, sir. Hey, what you doing, guys?

Hey, any of you out there in the pain, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just I really kind of freaked me out.

What'd you do? So it just, this whole thing got me depressed. I've got a candle. Would you frown on me for looking at my candle? I'd give you at least a few extra points. Read it, read it about it. Yeah, I'd give you a few extra points. I'd say at least you're doing something useful with your time.

I watched this guy. He was sitting on the seat and I was standing because I never sit on those things because you never know who's going to come in the door. You want to make room for. Yeah. I don't know my standing. So I'm standing and I'm looking in an old man and he's dressed up in suspenders. He's got a bright colored like little beret on. He's like a fashionable old man. Yeah. But he stinks the high heaven. Oh, so he's either French or I don't know He's a French or he's Brian from Brian's fish days. Yeah, I took a knife to circa 1992 With dog Martins that have never been washed or taken off or band and patchouli as the odor

The Julie oil yes, the oil the roller. Oh, yeah, the roller I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited.

I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited.

I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm shit am I've put you least hope I use it every day I'm smelling Astrid's cooking. Yeah, Astrid's my Astrid's cooking a rapist. It's good There are so many advantages Having a Venezuelan wife, but the main one is been a swan food. Yeah, that's true

So I'm looking at this little little man He's on his phone like everybody else is, but I can see his phone because of where I'm standing. And so like any good red blooded American, I'm spying on what he's doing, right? Of course. And you know what he's doing? He's literally staring at his phone home screen

for the entire, almost the entire ride. He did not click anything. He did not have anything open. He's just looking at his home screen. He did it when I had interaction. He didn't want to have interaction. That's it. He doesn't click anything. He did not have anything open. He's just looking in his home screen. He does them when I have interaction. He didn't want to have interaction. That's it. He doesn't want to look at Brian,

who's currently bleeding out his nose. Yeah, it's really not, not dripping. It's dripping. It's just over. Yeah. Oh. If you didn't catch the story,

it's so dry and vagus, but then the airport has humidifiers. So I go from this extremely dry air outside to this really moist air on the inside. And my nose was like a faucet. It was just, I had snott just coming everywhere. And at one o'clock in the morning in the vagus airport, there's only one reason why you have snott coming out of your nose. And it's not because of the dryer, the moist air. It's because you're high on cocaine So he probably saw me when I walked to the door I've seen this guy 10,000 times in Vegas

But he just made me kind of sad for it. We we Hello, my name is Skippy flippy look a Las Vegas resident I live on the twelfth floor of Oh shaggagans oh shaggagans what was it shaggagans oh shaggagans like shag shag carpet shaggagans oh my god that carpet was still there for 65. Perfect.

So, I'm just like sad for the generation that's coming up because they don't know how to interact with each other. Many are children. Yeah, my children. Yeah, that's it. That's what it all comes down to. Why did I have these fucking kids? Just doomed them to a life of staring at their phones

and AI-generated porn and chat, DDD, or whatever the fuck is out there. It's all going to hell in a hand-vast kid. And I'm just adding to the confusion. One fucking sperm amazoid at a time. But you know what does at times give me a little bit of hope. What's that? Marlin.

I got such a juicy Marlin update that it's not. I can't believe it. It's hard to even wrap your head around. D-C-B. Hey everybody out there in the podcast universe, it's time for the dreaded commercial break T-C-B! Hey everybody out there in the podcast universe, it's time for the dreaded commercial break inside the commercial break. It's season number four, you've heard it all before, so let's get to it quickly.

You can text us or leave us a voicemail at 1-855-TCB-8383. Questions, comments, concerns or content ideas, send them to 855-TCB-8383 toll free from anywhere in the world. Visit our website, tcbpodcast.com to listen to any of the audio, watch any of the video, or send us a message, hit the contact us button. Instagram and TikTok at the Commercial Break. And now YouTube videos the same day they air on the audio feed, they'll air youtube.com. Slash the commercial break. Chrissy and I are very grateful every'll air youtube.com slash the commercial break.

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He went he was. We're on Sikin' Arrangements. He got an older lady really hard time with the dating scene. And he decided as on on a lark of like a joke. He decided to go on seeking arrangements. He got an older lady. Really hard time with the dating scene and he decided as on a lark, like a joke, he decided to go on seeking arrangements and he started communicating with a much older woman almost twice his age and she is, I mean, incredibly wealthy boss lady, lives in the penthouse, flies privately, drives whatever car she cares to drive. Yeah, drops $10,000 a Louis Vuitton. That doesn't make me mad.

Doesn't make me mad. Doesn't want to do in bed. Tells them what to do with his money, her money. It's just like, she's very bossy. She's in charge. She's in charge. And according to an email or a text message that we believe she wrote to us, she helped her ex-husband who has now passed away, built a very successful company in selling.

An empire. An empire. An empire, and so she's feeling very proud of herself as she should, and she's enjoying her the rest of her life with all of this, these funds. So she got on there to seek a younger gentleman, which became Marlon. Yep, which became Marlon. And she told him on multiple occasions,

this is an arrangement. Yep. I am going to tell you what to do, He told him on multiple occasions, this is an arrangement. I am going to tell you what to do and you will never pay for a thing when you're around me and we will have, we will live in the lap of luxury, but it's an arrangement. What I want it, it's there and what I don't want it, it's not there. Now Chrissy and I have kind of speculated as to why she has this attitude. Maybe it's because she's older and she knows that she's, you know. So she wants. related as to why she has this attitude. Maybe it's because she's older and she knows that she's, you know.

So she wants. Yeah, it's what she wants or she's trying to protect Marlon in some way from getting, you know, she's gonna get older and she's gonna have to be taken care of. Maybe she's trying, she just doesn't want anybody. She's not gonna get married at this age and have a husband and all this other stuff. Or is she because I got a Marlon update

while I was in Las Vegas and he explained to me that they are back together. Well, they had broken up. Yeah, they broke up and when she- And Marlon went out to a bar and saw her with another guy. She was with another guy. And he got very jealous.

And the reason why she said she was breaking up with her. There was used to be, I used to be the one giving her those her vitamins this day. I used to be the one giving her those her vitamins. I used to be rubbing tiger ball into those nattie knees of hers. That's the one that's supposed to give her centrum silver. He was upset. He got very upset. He saw her at the bar with another woman and he got so upset that he left. They bent to the swingers resort. Oh my God. And what do you send us?

And Venice. And Venice, he was with another girl. I mean, anyway, you get the whole story, you've heard it all. Okay. So Marlin explains to me on this phone call that they are back together and here's how it happened. Are you ready? Are you ready for this?

Yes, I'm ready. What do you hear it? So Marlon goes for his job, he travels, right? Okay. And he goes to Hawaii to go and do this next project that he's doing. While he's there, his line of work, I don't want to give it away, but his line of work, social media and social media marketing, like marketing the business that you're in on social media is not unusual, right? Think of like real estate agent type of work. Just like anybody.

Yeah. Yeah. So, he goes to Hawaii. He's there with a couple of co-workers. One of the co-workers is a younger woman who's all dolled up for this particular event that they're gonna do that's part of the project. So he podcast conference. To podcast conference podcast bro. What's up podcast bro?

He takes a couple pictures of this girl and him because that's part of their job and he posts them part of their job and he posts them. And 15 minutes later, he gets a Facebook messenger message. He gets a Facebook messenger message that says, who the fuck is she from this old lady? Well, all right, okay, we're not going to call our old lady. Well, that's what she is. She's an older lady. Okay. Anyways, from the other woman, the ex, the ex at this point,

what does she have any right to say anything? She has no right to say anything, except for she thinks she rules the world. What the fuck? Yeah, what the fuck? Exactly. That's the kind of attitude that she has. So she says who the fuck is she?

And he doesn't respond. Yeah, good for her. But you know, No response is the best response sometimes. Totally agree. Sometimes you just got to response is the best response sometimes. Totally agree. Sometimes you just got to know when to say, nothing at all. That's how I live my life in here.

Whenever Astrid says something to me, you can hear my little brain working. It's like, In every time that my little brain starts working, do you know what I decide to do? Shut the fuck up. That's what I decide to do because that's the best policy. So he doesn't say anything.

He's like, I don't know how to respond to this. I don't know what she wants, and I'm not sure why she's, we're not together. It could be anybody I want it to be, but it's just a coworker. And by the way, he, a beautiful coworker. A beautiful young coworker.

High and tight, fit and firm, young, like we all were one day. And he's like, first of all, I think she knows who this person is because there's been other pictures of this person. And this should be no surprise that he's taking pictures with this younger woman, right? In other words, he thinks his ex knows exactly who this is. Yeah. Who the fuck is she? Is not exactly the, it's not exactly a question that's like, it's not welcoming a response.

Like when you say who the fuck is she? Yeah, you're not. You're not gonna get into an argument, don't engage. Well, you're replacement. The problem, you're replacement. You're replacement. Better church, better ask. No, I don't have to wear a leash in bed.

He's, he, I don't have to wear a leash in bed. He's, he, the only, didn't respond. Yeah, but the only problem with the messenger is that you can see when people have read the message. He had no limits. Yeah. Okay, so. That's even better for him actually.

Yeah, that's even, that's right. And then he didn't respond. God damn, there's nothing like someone who's read your fucking text. It doesn't respond. God damn, there's nothing like someone who's read your fucking text. It doesn't respond. Mother fuckers. Who the fuck still has read receipts on? That's all I got to ask.

I see so many people with read receipts. The fuck are you thinking? Have we not all been texting for like 20 years of our life? Why would you ever put read receipts on? It's the stupidest thing to do. It hurts people's feelings. That's all it does. There's no other reason to have a read receipt as it's other. It hurts people's feelings. That's all it does. There's no other reason to have a read receipt

as it's other for the hurt people's feelings. Oh, it's not like you're a CEO. Next thing is this deal gonna go through. No, yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Where are you? Yeah.

At the weed store. Yeah. Be back soon podcast, bro. So 15 minutes goes by, 20 minutes goes by, 30 minutes goes by, and she texts him. Who are you with, and why are you in Hawaii? Well, he's for work. That's what he, you can read the,

like, so now he's like, she's just bugging me now. Now she's trying to poke at me. So he says exactly that. I'm at work, right? She starts calling his phone repeatedly. Like every 30 minutes she's calling his phone. He's not answering, he's working. He's not trying to be a dick.

He's like, I can't get into some big discussion right now. I'm working. So after work, more phone calls come. He decides he's gonna answer the phone call. The sunset, this beautiful Hawaiian sunset. I'm working. Yes. I'm at this lieu out working. I'm at this lieu out and this girl in a phone is here to work with me. Working. Yes. I'm taking a shower in the outdoor shower at my five-star resort

with my coworker. There's a whale. Yeah. Working. Look, there's a whale. And there's quarter size nipples on my coworker. Working. That's the picture of a 25 year old. Is that a whale? No, it's my coworker's ass. It's a whale tail. Yeah, that's right. One of my other favorite social media posts are the girls who take a picture of the beach. That's really showing just like the bottom of their bikinis. Yes, of course. Yeah.

Take life's pleasures while you can get them. Time is valuable. Wease nothing. Wease nothing. Family means everything. Fuck you. You have a vagina, we get it. You're hot and sexy.

You know. Today is a day. You never forget it. Why don't you just say, waste no time. Look at my almost vagina. You can almost see down my pants. That's my favorite. When they take the picture and then the bikini is like it's like they have two hips because

they're so skinny and the hips are like kicking up the bikini bottom just enough so you can almost see some pubic hair. We're like scrolling in real big. Victory V. Yeah, victory V. You can see the victory V. It's headed straight down toward the glory hole and then they put some stupid fucking caption from God damn, you know, Dr. Oz or somebody, and you're like supposed to change your life. If you're in glory, yes. Today will be your birthday. Yeah. I've learned to take it slow in life.

That's where the good things happen. You do nothing for a living except post-fincter of your almost vagina. That's life. The fuck? This is an epidemic. This is a pandemic of epic proportions in our society. It is an Instagram post.

Yes, it is extremely attractive. Young ladies and young men taking pictures of their genitalia. At crazy beautiful places. At crazy beautiful places and then putting, you know, tongue platitudes don't plan it to don't I You got fucking doctor Wayne dire next to my brand new boom job

It's so stupid. It's so stupid take time to recover. Yeah, take take time to recover. That's right from your surgery Take time for yourself. Paid for by better health.com. I gotta love it. Okay, so my life's better than yours. That's what you do just put. Just put that. I better look at you in my life's better than yours.

That's it. Oh, platitudes. Boom. With the than yours. That's it. Yeah. Oh, platitudes. Boom. Fucking with the boom emoji. That's right. Boom. Or they put a poll on there. Ask somebody the other day.

Had a picture. A poll. Yeah, she took a picture of herself in the mirror, said, just got back from the hospital. Feeling blessed. Hashtag blessed. Hashtag. She's in a full bikini, and then there's a pole

on the bottom of it says, ask me a question. What the fuck does somebody do you have to do with your surgery? That's what that's my question. So Marlon answers the phone, I'm going to get way off topic there. So Marlon answers the phone. Finally.

And he says, hello, she doesn't say a word. For like a minute, she doesn't say a word and then yes a minute She just like she's like breathing on the other line and then yes She says I want you back Will you fly home tonight? What? back, will you fly home tonight? What? He's like, no, I can't. I got a project I'm doing here at work.

And why are you calling my phone this often? And what are these messages all about? You know that's my coworker. And she's like, I don't care if you're just your coworker. You're not supposed to be throwing your arm around. So she gets all fucking indignant about it. What's she broke up with him? Chrissy, I don't know why.

I don't know why Marlon's into this. I don't know why he's into it, but he's into it and okay, let's just roll it. I think he kind of, I think I'm starting to think he kind of likes to be pushed around a little bit. Maybe that's interesting. Maybe you're trying some of his mother or something. I don't know. It doesn't every once in a while.

Not me, I don't like to be pushed around. Sometimes you just want to be told what to do. Sometimes you want to just be tased in the balls repeatedly until you orgasm. He he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he agrees that he'll see her when she gets back. He gets back out. He is supposed to fly home on Monday night, but his work is for the weekend. His work is actually done on Sunday night. He's supposed to get on a plane and then he's going to be back on Monday night. He agrees that they'll see each other, they have like a little makeup conversation.

Nothing's for sure, but you know, they're gonna get together when he gets back. Well, guess what happens? He opens up his email after he gets done working and he's got a plane ticket, first class, to get home and he's got to leave into three hours. Oh. And then she texts him, she's like, don't miss your flight. And so you know what Marlon does?

He gets on that fucking flight. He gets on the fucking flight. He goes home, someone's there waiting for him to pick him up. Yeah, but he's got his car there, so he's like, I didn't really notice it. First class. First class from Hawaii. Yeah, that's not like first class from Vegas. First class from Vegas, you get an extra inch of room,

a leather seat that's greasy from the last person that's sat there, and it's extra padded seat belts. As if the seat belt is gonna like cut into you or something, like it's gonna slice you in half. If the plane crashes, you'll feel better about this seat belt. Please, give me a fucking break. Today's playing home, he gets home. She's there,

there's somebody there waiting for him. Like one of those guys with the sign, but he's got his Marlon. Yeah, Marlon. And the here for Mowling. I thought I was picking up a fish. I'm here for Mowlin. I thought I was picking up a fish. I'm picking up a fish again. It's moral. I'm picking up one of the, I'm picking sure you're a guy with a, like a limousine hat.

Oh, no, yeah, of course. And a little fitting suit. I see. It's wrinkled on one side with a big sign that says Marlin. That's awesome. I love it. But he, you know, he sees the sign when he gets, when he's like coming up through the boarding area, he can see the sign. It's got his I love it. But he sees the sign when he gets, when he's like coming up through the boarding area,

he can see the sign, it's got his name on it, but he's like, hey, I know that she sent you here to pick me up, but I actually have my car here, and I don't wanna leave it at the airport, right? And he's like, sir, I've been instructed to take you directly back to the house. We can get your car later. And Martin's like, no, I'm not gonna get my car later.

Like, this is my car. I need to have it. I'm not gonna leave it car later. Like, this is my car. I need to have it. Like, I'm not gonna leave it there. You know, I don't wanna leave it at the airport. And the guy is like freaking out. He says, sir, no, I've been instructed to take you directly back to the house. I need to, you know, I need to do this.

You need to come with me. He's like, I'm not kidnapping me. I've gotta get my car. Anyway, he gets his car. He goes back, he walks in the door, lights her dim, candles on, champagne open, and she is on the couch just ready to rock. And she's like, come here, daddy. Come here, big boy.

Come here, Marlon. Let's, you want to swim in this pond? And they got right to it. And Marlon was like, I gotta tell you. You know the back and like that. This is what he said. He goes, I gotta tell you, when she messaged me at first I felt angry that she would say something like that,

but then I was really happy. Yeah. And he said, and he was like, I walked into that door ready for a fight of the things that she said when we broke up. Like this is an arrangement. I don't want, you know, I don't want to get all entangled. The fight too when they broke up was that she didn't want to meet his friends.

His friends. She didn't want to meet his friends and she made it very ugly. She was like, you know, you're just an arrangement to me. Yeah. Your friends suck. Your friends are a bunch of assholes. Who is that cocaine Brian and crack head Chrissy? I've heard that show.

She's probably what she thinks. She's like, I see what kind of friends you have. I listened to the commercial break, but he told me. He said, I walked in there, fired up. I was ready to go. I had the whole 18 hour plane ride to get all charged up about this or that and the other thing, he's like, I walked in there ready to just spill it.

You know, you treated me like this and you shouldn't have done that and I was really upset by this and there's gotta be some, you know, equalization in the relationship if it's gonna work out. No, that melts. It all melts in a way.

He just, they just went right to it. And now. They're meant to be. They're meant to be. I'm starting to think, then that's what he said to me Brian I really think I care for this woman because when she was when I saw her on the couch and that they're you know She was in this kind of softer mood and she was ready to go

I really felt like I was home like things were right. Yeah, we were gonna fix things They've been together for almost a year almost a year. Yeah They've been on multiple vacations overseas vacation. That's right. I mean, that's a lot. I'll give you the ages because I think we're good. Let's see, we've got everything paid for. He's got everything paid for.

That's just like the dressing on top of the salad, isn't it? And we're not talking about like a garden salad. We're talking about like, Aw salad. Wendy's fried chicken salad, the good kind with ranch dressing and hot sauce. You know what I'm talking about? Extra cheese.

He gets everything paid for. There's some weird kind of love going on there, I think. And it just goes to show that you never really know who you're gonna fall in love with. You never really know where it's gonna come from. Granted, it came from a website where clearly that's the point is to get with a woman. But it's just for an arrangement.

Someone's just gonna, you know, treat me nicely. Well, as soon as he tried to, or she tried to back away, then he felt jealous and then she felt jealous and then now they're about together and what's happening next. What's happening next is they actually talked briefly, admittedly, they actually talked briefly admittedly. They actually talked briefly It met it and what's that admit it admitted they talked briefly about marriage

Which is just insane she just said I'm not meeting your friends Because marriage And I'm like Marlin are you really gonna get, here's the ages, ready? And I got this wrong before. 41 and 73. Those are the age. Okay. Okay, so there's 32 years between the two of them.

But I said, Marlin, are you really gonna think about getting married to a woman of that age? You know, that's a commitment. It's, you know, you, it's not like- Yeah, guy girl too, I mean, it doesn't matter. Oh yeah, no it doesn't matter. For everyone out there, we're not dissing older women with younger men.

No, we would be saying the same thing about it. Oh absolutely. For the younger woman. This whole conversation actually started the whole reason why Marlon even contacted me was because we were talking about sugar daddies. Yes. And younger women. We've been making fun of that a long time on the show, not making fun of it, but having

fun with it a long time. The truth is, it's like Marlon and his girlfriend, Brian and Astrid. Brian and Astrid. Yeah. Jeff and Chrissy. Jeff and Chrissy. There's a bunch of people that we know that have huge age differences and it doesn't fucking matter.

It just doesn't. You know, when age difference matters, when you're 13 or 18. That's when an age difference matters. I'm talking about it in a relationship. Remember when you're like 13 years old, and you see the 16 year old kids hanging out, driving their cars, having fun, going to high school,

you're so out of their world that it's unrelatable. But the older you get, the less age really matters. Yes. By the way, yeah. First of all, guys little pea brains don't even stop growing until we're fucking 46 years old. Second of all, after you get past, I don't know,

let's call it 28, 29 years old, age starts to not really matter. You hang out with anybody. It doesn't. You hang out with anybody. So Marlon, in her, are thinking about marriage, Marlon, are you really thinking about marrying this woman so much, your senior, so much your senior? And he said, if this is my one shot at love, I don't care how long it lasts.

But is it love because at this point? I don't know. Well, you do know after almost a year. No, I don't know. I'm saying I don't know. I'm saying in general, you know. He might know, yeah. You know after, like I mean, you an astered Jeff and I. I knew in a matter of a month.

I knew within days and that's not true. Yeah, and yeah, and I had never even seen this person in person I never even seen Astrid in person and I knew within yeah, so Yeah, okay, so To each their own past to you so we are gonna go to the world's best wedding If this happens and I told Marlin we're going four seasons Hawaii. We're going wherever we're going. We're going four seasons Japan. So we can get some of that saliva sushi. They're making over there. Japan. Yes. We're gonna have great luck with all the single people because no one's fucking anybody.

So we go over there with our American attitudes. We're gonna get laid real quick. The reality is, The reality is, Marlon says, if I love only one person in this lifetime, like I love this woman, even for five, if it just lasts for five minutes, it would be great. He's saying love. Okay, good. And you know what that means. We're gonna have to break out 33 Willie for the Shadioks retirement party. If there's one thing Brian knows how to do, it's how to rock a rage against the machine cover song in a senior citizen home. She went in the name of...

She went in the name of... Bram, bram, bram. Some of the who's I want for sale, all the same that ride horse sales. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Marlon's back together with the ex. Wee party, where's the party sound? Oh, I don't know.

Oh, the party sound, that's what you want. Yep. And you know what? You know what? Here's a truth for the commercial break. After all this time, we have protected their identities. We've made sure that nothing gets sideways. He's allowed us to tell the story with some yeah you know changing some facts that would keep his personal life out of it.

We should get an invite to that wedding and we should be allowed to report in episode of the commercial break. We're gonna we're gonna merge what was that party that was the prom party or whatever? We're gonna, Henry's or the, what was that? I don't know. We should merge that as to. The Martins. The Martins. The Martins. Go back and listen to the Martins party.

We got a wild story from somebody telling a story about a high school prom party with all the adults who were having sex with all the children. It was weird. It was weird. The Martins party. There was an sex with all the children. It was weird. It was weird. The Martins party. There was Lexus involved. Uh, but I'm super excited for them. And you know what would top that all off

if we could do a commercial break episode from the wedding. Like, and get them on air and get them to talk about it. Yeah, we'll be the zoo crew this morning. Yeah. Hey, everybody is working for the weekend! Everybody is trying not to keel over, write it down in the book. I'm writing it down.

Everybody is joining the H.A.R.P. Everybody is joining the H.A.R.P. All right, tcbpodcast.com, all the video, all the audio contact us, questions, comments, concerns, content ideas, we're taking them all at tcbpodcast.com. At the commercial break, youtube.com slash the commercial break, 855 tcb 83831855 tcb 8383 from anywhere in the world, toll free, and guess what? Get your 21 EPM sticker, send us your address on the website. Okay, Chrissy, I guess that's all we can do for today.

I love you. I love you. Best of you. And best of you out there in the podcast universe until next time, it's Chrissy and I. And we always say we do say and we must say goodbye. Bye. MusicI'm a star you