The Commercial Break - Your Work Husband's Work Husband

Episode Date: February 17, 2023

Bryan & Krissy know ALL about being each other's work-spouse, and after this many years there's just no escape. Almost everyone has a work-spouse, but it's not always as easy as Bryan & Krissy make it seem, and the people take to tiktok to air out their grievances! It's all fun and games until you introduce yourself as "the other love of his life" to your work husband's *actual wife.* TCB relives their work wife-work husband history. An ask TCB brought this back to the forefront…thanks Kate What's the difference between an emotional affair and a work spouse? Bryan, Krissy, and Jeff had a past life together as a FFM throuple Ask TCB: Kate and Tim's work husband dilemma. Bryan's advice: never walk out the door angry TCB reviews other work-spouse drama! Posting about it on tiktok is *definitely* the key to making it work... Finding a relationship where people are not jealous is a treasure Sometimes a work husband to your husband is just a pal LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us or leaving a voicemail at: 1.855.TCB.8383 Speak to TCB LIVE by calling 775.TCB.LIVE (1.775.822.5483) Tuesday-Thursday 12pm-5pm EST Watch TCB on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Written By: Bryan Green Exec Producers: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Content Production & Research: Tina Khano YouTube Producer & Editor: Morgan Please Audio Editing: Christina A. Executive Director: Astrid B. Associate Producer: Gustavo Episodic Contribution: Marianne, Diane, Natalie, Will The Champ, Will D** Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What exactly is my responsibility here? To comfort, insecure, heterosexual men, that can't possibly fall to me. On this episode of the commercial break... It's jealous of the guy. It's jealous of the guy. Yeah, there's another thing. Yeah, work husband.

Husband's having work husbands. Good. That happens too. That's the thing about a work husband or a work husband, husband's having work husbands. Good, that happens too. That's the thing about a work husband or a work wife, it's completely platonic. If it's truly like a work husband, work wife and not an emotional affair, it's completely platonic. So does it matter if it's a guy or a girl? Yeah. Really does it.

I have lots of work husbands. I have them. And I have sex with them. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Hi, I'm Cassius. Welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and co-host of Beautiful Chris. Enjoy. Totally. Best of you, Chris. Oh, that's the Brian. Best of you out there in the podcast universe.

It has been said many times before in our long and tenured history as friends together that we are fucking. That is what the word was around the office where we first met. Oh man, was it? Yeah. Yeah, it was just one of those things. I think a lot of people have been through this too, because it's written about a lot and I've done a lot of research about it for this particular episode, but, you know,

having a work wife or a work husband is not particularly unusual. There are some therapists and psychologists that think it's actually beneficial to the workplace and to your own mental health insanity. But you guys, but like, take all that bullshit away, take all the science out of it, and then you know you have somebody at work where you know you give them a that look

and they get you out of a weird conversation or you kick them under the table during a meeting or you know you go out for a drink in the afternoon just to talk shit about what's going on at the office. And then everybody assumes that you're fucking so that they say so. Well I think people find it hard to believe too that a woman and a man can be best friends.

Well, the woman and a man can't be best friends without having sex. That's clearly the case. No, we have proven that model. We did? Yes. I don't know. There's like six or seven months that I don't remember.

No, it's true. We never hooked up, but that's just one of those relationships that I've had in my life that I value highly. Obviously, I asked you to be on the commercial break. Nothing says fuck you like asking you to be on the commercial break. Nothing says I devalue in our friendship. By, hey, you wanna take this crazy ride with me?

But the work, husband, work, wife, fascination continues, and there's a lot of people out there that struggle with this how does I mean Jeff obviously handles this okay. He doesn't mind this. Yeah, he doesn't care Well, you've been there since the beginning. Yeah, I was on the very first date with you and Jeff We're not to kick you out. We were a thrupple. I kicked you out. Yeah, we were a thrupple until Chrissy told me to go home Literally We're a thrupple. I kicked you out. Yeah, we were a thrupple until Chrissy told me to go home. Literally. Ugh. And, and, and commercially, Astrid has, has handled this wonderfully too. She doesn't get all welcoming to me as one of your best friends.

So. She doesn't get up all upset about this kind of thing. She, she finds that regardless of the sex, the friendship is the thing that's important, right? So she really doesn't get bothered too much by all this. At least that's what she tells me. I mean, she might be in it for the life insurance money. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. For that commercial break, money. Yeah, you're in it for that TCB. If you're in it for the TCB money, you're going to be waiting a long time. So we got to ask TCB that brought this all up. I sent you an article the other day about work, wife, and work husband. There was an article in...

I had seen the same thing. I thought the same thing. When I read it, I was like, oh my gosh, everybody was thinking when we were at the radio station. I know. Pam and Jim, Charlie Brown and Lucy, who else? Who is another famous couple that never, oh, I guess Pam and Jim did it in a fucking minute.

Yeah, I know. They had a movie, didn't they? They had a movie. Yeah. they? They had a baby joke. Yeah. Oh, cheers. On cheers, they had the Diane and Jim. What's his name, Sam? Sam and Diane.

Sam alone. Yeah. So we got this as TCB and that made me just go down this rabbit hole of work, why for a husband and it's talked about a lot on the internet, like a lot on the internet. Because I imagine that a lot of people go through this and how there are significant others handle the work, why for a relationship. Now, because I imagine that a lot of people go through this and how their significant others handle

the work-wife work relationship. Now, I think there is a fine line, and I mean a really fine line between emotional affair and work-wife work-husband, right? Because emotional affair, it's easy to just bleed into an emotional affair where you guys are like texting each other in the middle of the night and you've got significant others.

That's a different story. Chrissy and I do that, but it's... We do. We're not talking about that sentence before it came out of the month. We're not talking about the other spouse. We aren't. No. No, we aren't talking about the other spouse.

That seems like it would be an emotional affair if you're like, excluding your spouse and thoughts about that you're talking to the work person about. Yeah, if you're like, yeah, I guess if you're like cock blocking, I think emotional affair, you know when emotional affair is an emotional affair, you start flirting with someone, right? And that flirting feels adventurous and it feels like at any moment it could explode IRL. Yes. And if you're saying I love you and I love you too,

or hey, baby cakes, like, you know, shit like that, is probably completely inappropriate. Right. So, sorry about that. Sorry, Jeff. Ugh. Ugh. So I got an STCB from a woman named Kate not her real name

But I'd like to read it to you because this is right on topic. Okay And I'm gonna hold this back for a couple and thanks Kate not a real name Kate But thanks Kate for sending this in I appreciate you know who you you know who you are You know how much you know how you're fucking up with your husband all right ready? Hey TCB I'm a big fan of the show. Only been a listener for about two months, but I'm hooked. I'm already 100, oh no, excuse me,

I've been a listener for four months, excuse me. I'm already hooked. I'm already a hundred and twenty four episodes into the show. Wow. And I consider myself a super fan best of you. Four months, hundred and twenty four episodes. That's, you have a full time job listening

to the commercial break by my estimation. I do that too though with things where I kind of binge out on something that I like if it's, if there's back stuff going on. Yeah, but the commercial break. I know. Right. I mean, I don't get that.

Yeah, there's a difference between like breaking bad in the commercial break. You know what I'm saying? We're very close. Better call Saul and the commercial break just You know what I'm saying? We're very close. Better call Saul in the commercial break. Just neck and neck for bingeable. If you're going on vacation and you take a week off and you go to the beach, bring the commercial break with you

or great companions, you'll be back at work and did no time. You'll get the next flight out and leave your phone at the beach. Okay, best to you, I'm a super fan, best of you, best of you, also. Okay, I have a problem and I'm in need of some bad advice. I think you're the perfect couple to help me out. Okay, I work in an office and before 2020, we went in every single day, nine to five, a regular job. I'm a professional saleswoman working in healthcare tech.

I've had the same job for about six years. And right at about four months after I started, another salesperson joined the company and was added to my team of about 25 people, we all cover the same region and work in the same office. His name is Tim, for the purposes of this conversation, his name is Tim, it's not his real name. Right.

When Tim came in and we hit it off right away, we had the same personality traits, senses of humor, general interests and music, pop culture and movies. We also like a good strong drink before, during our after work. Before, I like this. I love it.

Before. Yeah, you might be an emotional, a fair territory already. The most, the morning to start the day. Yeah. That's a, that's rough. It seemed we were destined to be friends from the very start.

And it didn't take us long before we did become best friends. We spoke all day at work, we hung out, after the day was done, and it was not unusual for us to spend Saturdays and Sundays together hanging out, going to parties, or doing things around the city. It's hard to explain, but I would definitely call him my work husband. It's not hard to explain.

You found solace in somebody. You found a companion that, you know, the puzzle pieces fit. And when two humans meet each other, I'd like to think, you know, maybe they're meeting for a second time after having met in another life. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah. Like maybe they were, But I do have a question. Maybe you're about to get to this, but they're hanging out on the weekends. So are there no spouses involved? Right now there are not.

I'm kind of getting a little ahead in the story, but I'm just letting you know that right now there are not. When they first start, they're both single already. Like you and I, so totally. Well, I was married, but. Well, you were, but that was going to last long. That's in last long. I kind of already knew it.

So I was like, I better get a work wife. Let me get a couple and see what's going on. Let me get a few work wives and see what's going on. I'll never forget Julia coming up to me saying, hopefully, don't leave. Hopefully, don't leave. Yeah, that's like, take care of him. I'm about to leave. He's going to need some help here in the real near future.

But maybe these two are meeting from a different life. You know how that goes? Yeah, exactly. You know, like sometimes like a lion and a squirrel will be best friends. And you'd be like, what the fuck is in there? You know, you see those weird Instagram posts or like some story, you know, violent chimpanzee

falls in love with, you know, box mouse or something like that. And they're like best friends. And they see each other every day. I'd like to think somewhere in the back of my brain. I know I don't like, I don't talk alien light language, but I like to think somewhere in the back of my brain. Sometimes you meet somebody from a,

and because I do not believe in the concept of time, at all, I like to think that, you know, you're just meeting in a different universe, in a different, like, you know. I think that way about you and I about Jeff about yeah any of the really important people in my life that I just connected with I feel like I've known before. That's right. That's why we've all connected before. That's why we were a thruple original but I got kicked out. We were a threesome. Me and Jeff were women and Holy was the man and we originally got together.

where women in Holy was the man and we originally got together. And you guys cut me out. But Chrissy got jealous of Jeff and I making out. So she kicked us out of the bedroom. And that's why Chrissy, yeah, in another life, another universe and another multiverse. At the time we met, the both of us were single. I had been recently divorced and he was quite the Casanova. I watched from the sidelines as he dated woman after woman.

Sounds exactly like you and me. Yeah, that is so, I saw him cycle through a ton. Woman after woman, that was cool. Okay, woman after woman. Occasionally a man. He never knew with me. It was in a box squirrel. In a box squirrel,

because we were friends in another light. I was divorced, he was quite the Casanova. I watched from the sidelines as he dated woman after woman and his relationships were always short lived. Many times the woman who he dated were upset by our friendship. If he dated 15 women in the three years preceding the pandemic,

at least five of them broke up with him because of our friendship or gave him an ultimatum That he did not accept in my head I felt really bad for cock blocking my best friend and his love life in my heart I was secretly happy he chose our friendship over his concubines. Yeah, of course. That's a human nature That's competitive. That's being competitive as Time went on people at work started to talk. In meetings, people would snicker at us, and the running joke went on forever. Kate and Tim are fucking, it's an open secret.

We actually got called into HR one time to discuss our relationship. We were grilled for over a half an hour about whether or not we had a physical, intimate relationship outside of work. And we were told multiple times that this was against the employee rules unless noted by HR. In other words, unless you notify HR, right? Did they write a Ferris wheel together? That was the whole,

that was, let's pause the thing. Let's pause for one second. Chrissy and I start clear channel around the same time. We become fast friends, like within days, we're fast friends, right? And then I get to divorce shortly after that, or I separate shortly after that. And Chrissy and I, yeah, and then we, our friendship deepens even more because now we're not only hanging out inside of work, we're hanging out, outside of work,

with everybody, but, you know, I would go over to her house, she would go over to my house. What set the whole rumor mill off? Was Chrissian and I went to a fucking country, pumpkin fair ones out there. Oh, fuck, we were. It was one of those like weak, they blow into town for a week, set up shop. Wigwam County and South Georgia.

They were somehow associated with the radio station. The radio station was sponsored. Yeah, they had like three rides and a, you know, they had a gravage run. It was one of those. Yeah, double bubble fried, snicker bar machine or whatever it was. And they had this Ferris wheel.

And we're talking like a Ferris wheel that looks like it's about to tip over. It was, this was scary. But we were drunk and it didn't matter. So we ended up getting on the Ferris wheel together. Well, the Ferris wheel, like a lot of of these operators do they literally push one thing at a time Like you go up it takes three hours to get around the Ferris wheel basically, right? He stops every three feet. It never goes quite around

But then Chrissy and I are up there It's a little chilly at night and so I think I don't know Maybe an arm was around the other one or whatever. We're just having fun. We're drunk We have but like in our just having fun. We're drunk, we have buttlight in our hand, having fun. We were laughing. That's right. And then some people start to claim that we were making out at the top of the Ferris wheel.

And it was like, we never made out at the top of the Ferris wheel. What are you talking about? But the rumor mill started in, never stopped from there. And everybody would reference the Ferris wheel. Whoa, you guys fucked on the Ferris wheel. We fuck on the Ferris wheel. What are you talking about?

Look, I got pictures of her kids, man. I saw the whole thing. You weren't even there. Well, I wasn't, but somebody else was. And they told me, yeah, it was the whole thing. The rumors fly fast. But we never got calls into the HR. No.

Because the HR director was sleeping with everybody too. Yeah. Shit. Right. Emotionally, we were definitely in a relationship, but that is where it ended. Then January 2000, a January 2020, I met somebody on a dating app. Our 10th official date was the night before the citywide lockdown was announced for

Corona virus. Tim decided to travel west to visit his family and I decided to move in my very new boyfriend. A lot of people did that. A lot of people did that. A lot of people did that. Yeah. I'd say the story about it. That's Balsey. You remember this. I got stuck in 2013.

I think it was 2012, 2013. And the snow. And the snow. We had a snow storm here in Atlanta. And that snow storm turned to the entirety of I-75, one of the busiest highways in the country into a sheet of ice skating ice. People were parked on the side of the road. For days.

For days. They left their car in the highway. They walked to wherever they could get warm. And the governor literally had, for days afterwards, the governor literally had big machinery out there pushing the cars to the side of the road so the highway could open back up because people just left them there without

they'd have ran out of gas whatever It was my third date with this woman. I had just started dating Oh my dear remember this and I was desperate within 24 hours to get her out of my like desperate to get her out of my house I dated her for another two It was so clear at that moment that we never should be together But the hot ones what the hot should be together. But the hard ones, but the hard ones. The hard ones, what the hard ones. What the hard ones.

Okay, so Tim decided to travel out west and I decided to move in my very new boyfriend. The world seemed like it was coming to an end, and I wanted company for the final show. Of course, I got it total. Tim ended up staying out west and working from his parents' house, while I grew closer to my boyfriend who turned into my husband in late of 2021. Oh, congratulations.

Tim and I stayed in touch. We texted almost daily, but without that physical interaction, without being in each other's space, it just wasn't the same as it has been had been before. Out of sight, out of mind, really came into play in this particular situation. He would always be my best friend,

but we were having a season of discontent. Sure. Yes. Holy didn't talk to me for like six weeks one time because I dated a girl. Okay, she was a little young. Holy was pissed. She was, what would her mother think? I'm like, she's 21.

What would her mother think? I don't know what would her mother think. Holdy was right, by the way. When I told Tim, I was gonna marry my boyfriend. He didn't react the way most friends would. He literally texted me back, quote unquote, congrats. And then didn't hear it and then didn't text me again for another week. It really hurt my feelings. I was

very upset and I felt disappointed in his reaction. Fast forward to November of last year, 2022, and our office is reopened. The company that I work for expected the sales people to be in the office at least three days a week Though I usually show up five days a week almost every single week Last month Tim moved back into the city and he is now at the office five days a week also While we didn't really stay that close during the last three years during the pandemic We picked up right where we left off once we got back to the office. Sure. That makes sense.

There's just one big difference. I'm now married. Yeah. My husband knows about him. My husband understands that we've been friends for longer than he and I have ever known each other. And for the most part, he's been okay with it. I would say he's been, quote, pretty cool, and quote, about the whole situation.

That is until last week. Our team had some reporting and projections. I know about those projections. Oh, the projections. Those fucking projections, they go on forever! Ah! The heart wants, what the heart wants? Uh, we ended up being in the office late,

and ended up being a long day. We got out of the office at about 9.15 PM. Everybody wanted to go for drinks, so I texted my husband and I told him, I would like to join. I also invited him to come along because I felt it was the right thing to do. And him and Tim had never met face to face. He told me he was tired and he decided he didn't want to come. But he asked me directly, was Tim going to be there?

I told him, I don't know. I felt bad about lying, but in some weird way, I thought being dishonest was better than being hurtful. I kind of get that. I understand. Yeah, and I mean something could have changed last minute with Tim. Sure. Yeah.

So you didn't really know. You were lying under the assumption that something might happen. It's still lying. I'm just letting you know. Anyway, about 10 of us went to this local bar that we've been to a million times. We would consider ourselves regulars at this particular bar.

The drinks were flowing and everyone was having such a good time, de-stressing from a long day. Tim then asked me if I could join him privately to talk and we jumped into a booth in the corner of the bar. He basically told me that he missed our friendship, that for years he felt like he had a wife without all of the marriage drama. He told me that he loved me, but not in a romantic way. He also apologized for being a jerk when I told him that I was going to get married. He basically said that he got jealous.

He didn't want the friendship to end, and he feared that my new husband would take me away from him. It was a very cathartic conversation. I agreed with him on all fronts. It felt really nice to be back on. I agreed with him on all fronts. It felt really nice to be back on the same page with my best friend. He put his arm around me and we hugged it out, we took a few shots at tequila, and then we rejoined our colleagues. The next morning, when I got to the office, I saw a text message from my husband. The text message was a screenshot of a photograph of Tim and I in the corner booth with his arm around me.

And it did not look good. It did not look good at all. Even though it was completely innocuous, it looked like we were being intense with each other and not in the argumentative way. It was the look of two lovers staring at each other's eyes. Even I could agree this particular photograph did not look good. The text message that went along with the picture was what the fuck, WTF, fucking or nah? Quote, question mark, question mark, question mark.

Oh wow. Wow. Then a couple of minutes later, a second text message, quote, him or me, make a choice. I'll be at my dad's house for the next few days. Figure it out, let me know. Wow. Wow. Wow.

That was two days ago, and I have not heard from my husband since. His father responded to one of my text messages to let me know he was okay, but his father also texted me Kate, comma, it sounds like you've got some thinking to do. Sometimes we have to let important things go in order to make our marriages work. Think about it, do the right thing.

I talk to my therapist, I talk to my parents, I've talked to my friends, and of course, I've talked to Tim about this. I really don't know what to do. I don't want to lose my best friend, and I do love my husband very much. But just the fact that he's making me choose makes me want to run away.

This photograph that was posted by the bar, and we did not know was taken was completely innocuous. She says innocuous again. And I cannot convince, I don't seem to be able to get through to Tim, to my husband to let him know that Tim is no threat. I've been listening to your show for a, for so, I've been listening to so many of your episodes. I've heard a few of the stories you've shared about your time working together. What would you two do? How would you handle this?

I don't think my husband has any interest in your show, so I feel safe asking this question to you. But I do know that Tim does. So please give your honest and horrible advice. Maybe something will shake loose. Best of both of you, Kate. Oh wow, that's tricky. It's tricky.

Three some, that's how I always fix all the problems. You two in your husband, get in there, root around, see if something pops loose. Well, I don't think you have to go that far, but you do bring up a good point that maybe Tim and the husband, there needs to be some kind of like a three way hanging out. Not a three way circle jerk. That's what I say. You use both hands, Kate, and let them use their fingers and let's just go to town. Twenty one EPMs, it solves all problems.

Yeah, there needs to be a converse. Listen, I actually, I don't agree with this, and I'll tell you why. Tim is hurt. I mean, let's call husband, I don't know, Bob. Let's call Bob as hurt by the husband. And Bob, I don't agree with this, and I'll tell you why. Tim is hurt. I mean, let's call a husband, but I don't know. Bob, let's call Bob as hurt by the husband. And Bob, I understand. It's totally 100% because she said, I don't know. And then he knows when CCs that picture.

Well, that doesn't even really matter. The picture is the one, I mean. Well, you know, I had to, like I, she initially emailed with like a very short three paragraphs and I said, can you elaborate so I have some color commentary for air because there's so many questions involved in it. And she did, she sent back this and I had, can you elaborate, so I have some color commentary for air because there's so many questions involved there. And she did, she sent back this and I had a couple of follow-up questions like, what was,

did you tell your husband that Tim was in fact there at the bar that night or did you just let the, I don't know, hang and then never followed up with it, right? Because I think that's an important question to ask. And then I think Bob is so, it's like the nerve is so exposed right now that I feel like bringing Tim anywhere near this guy is really just gonna make him head for the hill. Yeah, no, I mean, I don't think like immediately.

Eventually. Yes, eventually. If she wants to keep the friendship with Tim, otherwise I think, you gotta let him go. You gotta let Tim go. If you love your husband. and he is your soulmate in the all forms and fashions that a true relationship typically does, then I would say you've got to let Tim go.

It's gonna be hard to do that because you guys work together and you certainly I don't think wanna lose your job over this whole situation or quit your job, but it might even get to that like imagine But then there's like a whole other part of me that says that Bob is being Reactive right now. He said he saw something that even you admit didn't look good, right? And then you kind of lied by omission so this whole thing

So I think the first conversation that you need to have is I love you and I'm willing to do things with with him Not now with Tom, with Bob, the husband. Yeah. Fix things with the husband. Do everything you can to reassure him. I know it pisses you off that he's giving you the ultimatum because that would make me mad too, but he saw this picture and there was all this stuff.

Like he's kind of got the leg up. I have a new baby. Anastro and I have to feed that baby every three and a half minutes. I don't know how long it is. It's like every second, you feel free to do that. It feels like every three and a half minutes. Then we've got chains of diaper and all the stuff that comes with the instruction and care guide that you get when you go to the hospital.

So one of the things that you will find when you have a baby is you definitely have to help each other feed this baby, right? And sometimes Astro wants to take the early shift and sometimes I wanna take the late shift, it just depends, right? We have to negotiate these things ahead of time so that there is an understanding of what's going to go on and a plan and a strategy.

And I have to give up some of my sleep in order to feed that baby, which I gladly do at least once a day. So I'm being a real champ here, okay? I got a whole commercial break to deal with this. What I'm saying is that if you can be over communicated with your husband about what is happening with Tim, then he won't, there's no secret.

He won't feel threatened. Leave your phone open on the table with the Tim text messages and let him know that there's nothing really serious to be here. It might take that level of transparency for a while. No one wants their text messages rooted around not even people who are married. It's just one of those things.

You never know when something's gonna catch something that you need the wrong way, or when your browser history might be looking for, you know, pork-a-pine porn or something like that. You know what I'm saying? You never know. But if you communicate, over-communicate. Over-communicate.

What's going on? Honestly. Honestly, then you might find that you can smooth this over over a period of time but right now shit just got real it's raw it's raw Bob's hurt he doesn't really tell Bob of course you choose him yeah tell Bob if you really and then maybe you can guilt him a little bit like if you really want me to completely give up this other relationship I'll do it for you but do do you really want me? Here's what you do. You have Tim send you a dick pick.

And then you forward that dick pick to Bob. I'm being honest. Yeah, see, I'm being honest. This dick pick was not meant for me. Just that's what you say. You go, look, here's his dick. It's not with me right now. You guys have some communication issues, you and Bob.

And those communication issues are made worse by the fact that Tim is in the middle of your relationship right now. And you gotta let it go. I know how badly you want this friendship. You know what you should do? Start a podcast. That's what you should do. Start a podcast where you and Tim

could see each other every day. And you could get them all out the open. Yeah, I mean, the thing is, is that at this point, it seems like you know you're never gonna be with Tim in the romantic way or husband way. So I think you kind of have to go with the person you chose to be your husband. You got to go with the guy that's your husband. I mean, you don't have to go with the guy with the husband.

If you don't, if you feel like this is just a step too far, there might be other things that we don't get it over. Get it over with. Get it over with. Get it over with. Get it over with. Get it. Or go back to me. That's what I did. Yeah, that's what I did. Worked out great for me. You'll find somebody else. You'll find somebody else for sure. Let me give you a little, the Atlantic wrote a piece about this

at you and I both read this, but I just want to, like, let me share the first two paragraphs, because I think it's, you'll understand about office romances or work, husband or work wife a little bit more. This is from the Atlantic. Started off as a fairly typical office friendship. You ate lunch together and joked around during breaks. Maybe you bonded over shared affinity for escape rooms or board games or birding.

Birding. Birding. What the fuck is this right over? Birding. What the hell is that? Or some other slightly weird hobby. Over time, you became fluent in the nuances of each other's workplace beefs. By now, you vent to each other so regularly

that the routine frustrations of professional life have spawned a carousel of inside jokes that leavens the day to day. You chat about your life's outside of work also, but a lot of times you don't have to talk at all. If you need to be rescued from a conversation with an overbearing coworker, appointed glance will do. You aren't Jim and Pam because there isn't anything romantic between the two of you, but you kind of see why people might suspect.

You're fucking, I'm adding that you're fucking into that, right? The term for this type of collegial relationship, work wife, or work husband has become a feature of American offices. The meaning can be a bit slippery, but in 2015, the communication researchers Chad McBride and Carla Mason defined a workspace or relationship as a special platonic friendship with a work colleague characterized by a close emotional bond, high levels of disclosure and support, also a mutual trust, honesty, loyalty, and respect. There it is, right there. Divorce your husband. That's how, just divorce your husband.

You're so much better off with Tim, that's all I gotta say. Yeah, start fresh with a new relationship, and then it feels like, yeah, when you think about it, really, it feels like her husband's being kinda small. Like, he's being a little bit small about this. Yeah, yeah. think about it really it feels like her husband's being kind of small. Like he's being a little bit small about this. Yeah, yeah.

He saw one picture of a picture of a bar where he knew she was going on social media and then left for days on end and didn't text her back. It sounds kind of small actually. Yeah. Yeah, your husband's a child and since he doesn't listen to the show, fuck that guy, go back with Tim. I'm rooting for you and Tim Jaa Jim and Pam Kate and Tim yeah maybe it was a mistake that you married this guy

It's probably a mistake that you married this guy Just based on our just based on our conversation 15 minutes of conversation here Chrissy and I have determined that you are not married Yeah, well and for him seriously, I do have to say for him to leave, like leave the house and go to his dad's for days. After not, after not have one rule. Yeah. One rule.

Never leave the house angry. No, never. No, you work something out before you leave and involve your dad. Absolutely. Over a picture? Yeah, but you know, Tim did the same thing too. When she said she was getting married, he didn't communicate with her for a week.

So it seems like you got a pattern of men in your life that just like they have this like defensive position to not respond to you. Yeah, but Tim was off out west and was not her husband. True. True. Yeah, the one thing that I can't stand in a relationship, the one thing that is so fucking small is when someone gets angry and they walk out the door and then they don't respond to you for hours, minutes,

whatever it is, that's the worst possible thing. It is. You know what you say? Honey, I'm a little heated right now. I love you, but I need to go take a walk around the neighborhood. Or I'm going to Basque and Robbins and I'm trying all 31 fucking flavors. I like that one.

Or I'm going to the shoe show because I need to see somebody else's tits for a minute. Any of those things will do, but you don't just walk out the door angry. You don't do it. Yeah. Feel like they got a little hurt. I'm dying to know kind of what happens down the road on that.

Well, I told her you have to please follow up with us because our audience loves to know and we never follow up on these things. We told them. In season number four, we have a notebook for this kind of stuff. So, just I write that down. Yeah, I write the cake.

We need to follow up with Kate and Tim eventually. Maybe we'll give him a couple of weeks and see how it goes. But, you know, this is also being talked a lot about on TikTok, Chrissy. It's not just the TCB family that's having trouble with the work husbands and work wives. It's the whole world it seems.

So we have a compilation video of a bunch of people from TikTok talking about their work husbands and their work wives. You wanna hear it? Sure, I wanna go through it. Okay, I wanna give credit where credit is due because I did not put this compilation together. Liz Yelland, L-I-Z-Z-Y-E-L-L-A-N, Liz Yelland,

you can Google her, you can search her on YouTube if you want to see some of her compilation videos. This is the one that she put together about work while Ives and work husbands. So without further ado, Ms. Chrissy Houdley. Yes. I was throwing on the internet. As you do. As I do like to do! Hey everybody out there in the podcast universe, it's time for the dreaded commercial break inside the commercial break. It's season number four, you've heard it all before, so let's get to it quickly. You can text us or leave us a voicemail at 1-855-TCB-8383.

Questions, comments, concerns, or content ideas, send them to to 855-TCB8383 toll free from anywhere in the world. Visit our website, tcbpodcast.com to listen to any of the audio, watch any of the video or send us a message, hit the contact us button. Instagram and TikTok at the commercial break. And now YouTube videos the same day they air on the audio feed, villairyoutube.com slash the commercial break. Chrissy and I are very grateful every time you choose to listen to the commercial break. If you're ever in the market for our sponsors,

products or services, all we ask is that you use the specialized URL's or codes. Thanks again for being part of the TCB family. Now let's hear from those sponsors and we'll be back to this episode of The Commercial Break. Here's everybody in the world seems like talking about work wise and work husbands. Oh I know he was. Several years ago my husband worked at an Amazon warehouse and hated every goddamn second of it. But I got to go to their family and friends event one year. It was during summer, I believe, as when it was done. She's like looking back to say she saw her husband.

Like that's right in the room. This is the type of woman who Ted does not accept work rights, guaranteed. And two beautiful women came up to us while they were sitting there munching on whatever they were serving that Garbage and Web core hubby he's so socially awkward so I knew this the flirting that was happening was not of his own volition

He was just being a nice guy Wow, what is going on here? I just knew my husband was not flirting with these women. Probably not. You're right, I was sleeping with them. What? She's the kind of person. I think it doesn't happen to her husband. It doesn't happen to my wife, right?

My husband, he's kind of a lug nut. He doesn't get along with the girls. He's not that kind of wife, right? My husband, he's kind of a lug nut. He doesn't get along with the girls. He's not that kind of guy. He's not like a schmooser or Casanova. That's exactly the guy that's sleep. Remember that tech guy that we keep talking about? The tech guy at our office.

Who would show up at the strip club every day at 10, 30 in the morning and show back up at 3 p.m. He was the quietest, weirdest, strangest man I've ever met in my entire life, married with children. I guarantee his wife did not know that he was at the shoe show. Where the girls knew him by name.

A little bit different though, because he's going to a place where you pay. But doesn't really fucking matter. If your work wife is at the strip club or is that your office, I think it's worse if she's at the strip club because she's naked. No it's not your time. Yeah, one of the ladies looked at me and goes, so are you sister or girlfriend or something?

Like now I'm the wife. And I just like, you keep flirting. He ain't gonna do shit. I didn't say that. He ain't gonna do shit. I didn't say that. They both just looks me way. Oh, that is quickly as possible. Rand the fuck away. That's because they were sleeping with him. This woman's a denial. Yeah.

Did not, yo. Is she drunk too? I think she's something. Yeah, it's something's going on there. I don't want to pursue him. I don't know this woman whatsoever. So she looks like a lovely lady, but yes, she's drunk. He was so embarrassed. I'm like, babe, why are you embarrassed?

You're cute. Obviously, somebody's got a flirt with you. And you was trying to justify what was going on. I was like, I would never do anything. It's just we have to work gloves all the time so they can't see my rings like baby. I know. I trust you. But that was funny.

Okay. That woman has never trusted a man in her life. First of all, I can't evolve that. I guarantee that guy was sleeping with those women. Could be. I do have to say on the side note here, it's so nice if you ever can be and find a relationship to where people are not jealous. Because I was in those relationships when I was younger,

where the guy was always jealous, whoever I was saying was always jealous. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's super jealous and like, that's young. Because he's aggressive and controlling. And since being with Jeff, he's like, uh-uh. I take it as a compliment when guys play with you.

I love it. Let me share, let me share why older guys are the jam. Because their brains are fully developed, first of all, guys brains don't stop developing until we're 35 years old. That's insane. Some of us won't even live that long, right? First of all, second of all, the testosterone

that's running through those fucking potatoes downstairs, 24 hours a day and our 20s is crazy. It makes us do crazy things. We just think everybody's trying to fuck the girl that we're fucking. Right? Not true. Second, third of all, we all got cheated on that one time when we were teenagers and we never fucking forgot it. And so rather than crying in our pillows and telling everybody our feelings, we got angry and we beefed up and we went to the gym four times a day and now we're gonna kick your ass

if you look at my girlfriend's butthole again, right? But the reality is the older men, we know. We're like, you know what? If she didn't cheat on me, she's gonna cheat on me. What can I do? I'm gonna waste my time. And also they realize it's a compliment. It's a compliment.

If other men think that your wife is beautiful. Well, yeah, it's a compliment, but the jealousy really isn't about like whether or not I, it's always been a compliment that someone thinks my girlfriend or wife is attractive. It's that third layer of insecurity that the mind abhors a vacuum. So if we see a guy flirting with you,

then and we don't know who that guy is or we don't know what his intentions are, how many times have you talked to him on the telephone? Are you fucking a mollum at work? Have you ever been to his apartment? Do you know who he is? His friend have her fucked you. It's like,

which maybe where Bob is and his growth. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, Bob's 26. Yeah. So why has been is the work husband. And he has a work husband as well. And it's this dude, right here. This is my wonderful husband right there.

Right there. Now all the cocauties, it's promotion day. And guess who got to pen him? It's jealous of the guys. I think she's a little jealous of the guy. Yeah, there's another thing. The best friend? Yeah, work husband, husband's having work husbands.

God, that happens too. That's the thing about a work husband or a work wife, it's completely platonic. If it's truly like a work husband and work wife and not an emotional affair, it's completely platonic. So does it matter if it's a guy or a girl? Yeah, really doesn't I have lots of work husbands I I have and I have sex with them

They work together they have lunch together sometimes dinner together It's the best friend When they get off of work they go and play and video games together Yeah, that's just that's just that's just guys the friends. Yeah, that's the best friend. Yeah, that's a guy crush, but also the man crush seems like maybe he's not paying enough attention to her. Well, what you can't see on the video here is that she's showing a picture of her husband who's in the military. So he's got a very stressful job and he needs somebody he can commiserate with. I've met a few of these army guys, Navy guys,

Marines, you know, and it's an intense thing that they do. And when you go through something like that, especially if you've been in war or battle or in scene any action, there's only one other, it's like this, you know those- Shared experience. Do you remember that time that lady drove down in a diaper for 72 hours to like go see the other astronaut, the one astronaut was peeing in a diaper to go see the other astronaut, the one astronaut with a pen and a diaper to go see the other astronaut. She had a gun and she was gonna kill everybody

because you just wanted to be with her astronaut or a husband. That's because if you read anything that's been written by astronauts, when they come back from outer space, they are in a different universe. They do not, people don't understand what they've been through, and they find it hard to commiserate

with humans that have not left the earth because you are one of like 196 people in the world living currently that has ever been in outer space for any amount of time. And your whole world view changes, everything changes, and you need somebody to talk to about that. And that's world view changes. Everything changes. And you need somebody to talk to about that. And that's why our clear channel experience. Absolutely. Outer space or I heart. I heart or outer space. If you've been to either of those two places, you need therapy.

You've been to battle. Yes, you've been to battle. And only those who have been there will understand what you've done. They beat you and tortured you. You know, when you're an astronaut, they spin you around that damn thing three, three million times to make you throw up and pass out and all they do. Very similar thing in clear channel. And they stuff you in a room with an obnoxious sales manager who yells at you to make more phone calls and projections. So I would say that this guy just, you know, he's found his buddy that he commits a rates

with about this. It's no big deal. I think she also looks very young, so maybe she's also having that insecurity. Yeah. It wasn't this bad before they deployed, but now that they're deployed, it's even worse. And the running joke between his wife and I is that we're just all gonna move in together when they get back and they're gonna stay home in the weekends and watch kids and we're gonna do whatever we want. But Esco if you're watching this. I have needs too! Wow! Well shouted at the top of the rooftop baby.

So part of me's like good luck if that manages to work out for you. And then the other part of me is like, try me. What? I've got local fry. Iron of me is like, oh my god. And then the other part of me is like, try me. I don't even know what that man. You don't understand how they, you're not in the brain of a genius like I am. Hey, that fucking vocal fry, it tries me crazy. Do you know, do you know, talking about that

vocal fry, it tries me fucking crazy. Astrid's watching that day in Bachelorette or whatever it is right now. The bachelor's, the bachelor's, the bachelor's, the bachelor of bachelor. Couple of girls, every one of them. Oh. Nothing sexier than the smell of desperation and tequila and vocal fry, it's awful, it's awful, it's horrible. I can't stand that vocal fry, it drives me crazy. It makes, I don't know, the women are making themselves sound stupider than they really are. I don't understand it, I don't get it.

Ah! Ah! Ah! This is so funny to me because it's so true. By the way, what they're responding to is a girl who says when you realize girls at work are trying to fuck your husband. Or the girls at work are your work. Your husband is a work husband to other women, basically. And oh God, let me just, okay, so my husband is a manager for a fuel hauling company. So he like drives trucks or whatever, and like manages like all his little people under him.

But. Sounds like you and your husband have a lot of conversations about his work. He's got like a little film. He's got like a little chalk and he drives the around. I don't know, whatever. It's people, I don't know, it casts the painting. There is no men that work, I mean, no women that work with him.

So it's all men. And I know for a fact they all have like, not all of them, but at least two of them have a huge fat game crush on my husband Because they straight up and do not ever leave him alone. You'll never leave him alone Why do you have to text him all the time? Geez first of all what you can't see here is that lady was wearing glasses twice the size of her actual head. Second of all, I don't know.

I don't know if I could be married to that woman with all that loud voice like that. Yeah. Could you? No. I think what we're learning here is that Brian's super choosy about the girls he wants to do. I hear Bob get hit on by coworkers all the time because we both answer our phones on like speaker But also I watch it at the grocery store and stuff like he'll be like oh she was just asking me questions about apples And I'm like you don't work for the grocery store. Anyway, I have no concerns about it because he's so obtuse to it

But there's one time we were at a isn't obtuse so way to explain a writing like a like a non-writing on a triangle. He sees some co-workers. He starts talking to them and this chick that's with them goes, oh I'm Bob's other love of his life. Insert bitch's name here. Oh wow. Yeah. That's not something you say. Yeah. To the wife. Yeah. Okay. I'm with the

girl on this one. Last three women were just obnoxious. This lady's on it. She's on, I agree with you here. Just like to say that that's not a cute look. Like if you don't know that other person's spouse calling yourself like the work wife or whatever is so, never, just don't do it.

No, I would never do that. I would never ever call someone my work wife in front of their spouse. No, I would never do that. I would never, ever call someone my work wife in front of their spouse. No. You're my work wife. Hi, Jeff. There is a woman who I refer to as Bob's work wife because she has to put up with him and listen to him talk incessantly every day, you know, pre-COVID. But that's me saying that about her, not her saying about herself. Well, sounds like you and Bob have a really great relationship. He has to leave the shift to listen to him talking

consistently all day. At least it's not me. Oh my gosh. Oh, well, you know, I'm just glad that you're my work wife. I'm glad you're my work husband. Yeah, that's that's all I got to say. It's always been that way. It has always been that way. Sorry about that, I just pressed the wrong button.

It has always been that way. Yeah, we're going, what, 15 years, 16 years. Yes, we are going on. Just 2007, and now we're in 2020, 3. Is it really been that long? It's been 16 years. It's just crazy how long you and I have known each other. And that we still hang out with each other.

Exactly. Yeah. We still love each other. I still love you. I still love you. No matter what you do. No matter what you say, Chrissy, you'll always have a special place in my heart.

I feel the same. I don't know. On my heart, Ferris wheel. That's right. Oh, that's Ferris wheel. That's Ferris my heart Ferris wheel. That's right. That's a Ferris wheel. They were the Gravichron too. I don't know. I think I tried to ride that bull for the first time of my ever in my life. Like one of those bulls, they just set it out in the middle of a field. I mean, they had like sandbags as the place where you landed, it was like not fun, it hurts. And all I remember is I didn't last long.

No. Well that makes two places I don't last long. But we'll save that for a rainy day. I wanna talk to my work wife about all that shit. Yeah, I'm gonna need to just talk to my real life about all that shit. Hey listen, www.tcbpodcast.com is where you go to find out more information about Chrissy

and I. You can listen to all the audio, you can watch all the video, and you can contact us by hitting the contact us button. If you'd like your 21 EPM sticker and a special note from Chrissy and I, send us your address and your name, and we will send those out. We send out a batch every couple of weeks, so send it in and then in a couple of weeks you'll get your sticker. Also, we'd like to let you know that if you want to join us live here in studio on the We send out a batch every couple of weeks, so send it in and then in a couple of weeks, you'll get your sticker.

Also, we'd like to let you know that if you want to join us, live here in studio on the phone, we now have a way to do that, 775-TCB Live, that's 775-TCB Live. You can call, but Tuesday through Thursday, noon to 5 p.m. and if we're in the mood, we'll pick up the phone and we'll talk to you. And if we're not in mood we'll pick up the phone and we'll talk to you

And if we're not in the mood leave us a message and maybe we'll call you back You can also text us to a non-spam text message line where Chrissy and I actually respond Questions, comments, concerns, content ideas, ask TCB. You need some advice. You want to tell us a story? Or you just want to tell us how much you hate the show. Do that at 855-TCB8383-855-TCB8383 from anywhere in the world. toll free. Only the text message line is toll free by the way. So 775-TCB live to talk to us in the studio. 855-TCB8383 for your text messages.

And now, you can watch the YouTube videos the same day they come out on audio. So right now, as you're listening to this, the YouTube video is out. Go watch it! What are you doing here? YouTube.com slash the commercial break. Okay, Chrissy, I think that's all I can do for today. Hi, I'm so. So I will say I love you. I love you.

And best of you. Best of you. Best of you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I always say we do say and we must say good bye!I'm a starI'm a starI'm a star I'm a star I'm a star I'm a star

I'm a star I'm a star I'm a star I'm gonna die you