The Commercial Break - YuengLings, Stormy Springs and Ding-A-Lings!

Episode Date: March 19, 2025

Episode #715: Bryan & Krissy recall the St. Paddy's day shenanigans of ole! They discuss the time a radio promo at a local bar turned into....a radio promo at a bar. Yuengling came to town and they came to YuengLing. Unfortunately, and predictably, they did not make it to work the next day. Plus, Atlanta cooks up some stormy weather for the Ari Shaffir show, Bryan wrestles Blue's mouth shut and Darcey & Stacey release a dumpster fire of a song! Watch EP #715 on YouTube! Text us or leave us a voicemail: [phone]TCB FOLLOW US: Instagram:  @thecommercialbreak Youtube: youtube.com/thecommercialbreak TikTok: @tcbpodcast Website: www.tcbpodcast.com CREDITS: Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Executive Producer: Bryan Green Producer: Astrid B. Green Voice Over: Rachel McGrath To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

And welcome back to WSHIT Sports. It's 6.02 AM on the Sister Mary Tune Up and Confessional Studio Clock. At Sister Mary's we'll tune you up in a flash while we hear your confession to save your ass. Today in sports, the International Diddle Competition has come back to Crabapple for the fifth year in a row. This year, the Crabapple Municipal Auditorium will play host to 35 diddlers from around the world.

The world-renowned diddlers will be diddling their hearts out to vie for the title of the world's best diddler. And while last year's world champion from right here in Crabapple, Kevin Konk, was disqualified for using over 17 different banned substances that didn't stop the Crabapple Kevin Kunk was disqualified for using over 17 different banned substances that didn't stop the crabappleians from coming out in force to watch the diddlers diddle. Our international sports reporter Mike Edinburgh was right there in the middle of the action. He filed this report earlier this morning. A large crowd of diddling enthusiasts are here to cast a critical ear over every diddle.

But a lot of very very strong diddlers here today. So it's all now with the judges. And now the crowd rising to what I suppose is a living legend in diddling is the David Glenn. There's a certain amount of tension growing up now. Who is going to be the world champion? Will David Glenn make his comeback? Is there to be a new champion? The decision on the diddling in a few minutes now we'll know the hall as you can see packed packed solid with people wanting to know who's going to be the world diddling champion the winner is David Glenn with 62 and David Glenn makes a comeback so the crowd greets the world diddling champion David Glenn there has never been and there will never be a sport like diddling.

I'm proud to be a diddler myself. I have taught all of my sons how to diddle. It's a family tradition passed down from diddler to diddler. As a matter of fact, I'm going to go diddle right now while you listen to this commercial break. On this episode of the commercial break. It's cold, but there's a tent with heaters. It's a little rainy. Yeah, band playing. I happen to know the guy who's playing.

Anyway, it's a whole fucking shit show over there. And we get right to it. We get right to work as you do when you're in radio promotions. You drink and act like a fool. Yeah. And just to make sure everything's tasting correctly and that the other customers are having a good time. You got to make sure that everyone is having a good time. You got to make sure that when you leave,

they know that 94.9 the bull, they party hard there. They believe in the products they're selling. The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now. Oh yeah, cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co-host of this show, Chris and Joy Oldley. Best of you, Chris and Best of you out there in the podcast universe. How the hell are you?

Thanks for joining us. Hope you survived the St. Patrick's Day melee, although Monday, St. Patrick's Day certainly helps keep things in check. Does it? No, because I remember a Monday St. Patrick's Day where you and I... Ah, it was a Monday. I turned the red-tied green. I turned the, I don't know, the pink-tied blue. I'm not sure what I did, but it was a great St. Patrick's Day that will go down in history, in infamy if you don't mind, here in some circles. And our memories for sure. Chrissy and I, that circle.

What we can remember of it. What we can remember, what we can talk about. It was quite the ordeal. The later in the day it gets, I don't remember as much, but. Well I remember all of it. Well, most of it. I do remember carrying you into a hotel room. Remember a lot of yingling and shots.

Oh. Green shots, yingling, a lot of yingling. A tent, a hotel room. We did have the foresight to get a hotel room. We got it right. So here it is Chrissy and I are working for the Radio station as we did for many years. Well, not many years for you three years. It seems like forever Yeah, you go work in radio and tell me how long it seems like one day is like five years It's like interstellar. You know how 1.25 seconds is a day on that planet?

Mike's planet or whatever. I just watched Interstellar and that ticking noise. I don't know if you know this, but in the movie Interstellar, this is a total side here, but in the movie Interstellar, when they get to that planet, the water planet, they get to the water planet, they're near the black hole, and they've left the other guy in the spaceship away from the black hole, and they say to themselves, we have to do this quick, because every 1.25 seconds on this planet is a day on Earth. So the longer we stay here, the longer we're gone. And they end up being gone for 23 Earth years, and they're gone for like an hour and a half, or whatever

it is, right? But that's what radio feels like. Every 1.25 seconds is like a day on Earth. And so I think by that count, Chrissy and I were there for 23 years. So we are at the radio station and Ying Ling has traditionally been a northeastern beer for whatever read the rules of the road you can't distribute here, distribute there, but then for some reason all the sudden Ying Ling comes in, floodgates open, and I got the account. You did and lucky you because St. Patrick's Day was about, they came here on January 1st and St. Patrick's Day just a couple short months ahead and they're gonna blow it out. Oh yeah out at a local bar, not a local bar, a bar up north in one of the suburbs of Atlanta,

but they're gonna get a tent and bands and they're gonna have the St. Patrick's Day party that they've ever had. And man was it, because Chrissy and I, we scouted the location and there was like a Hampton Inn in the parking lot like the bar is sitting in a strip mall parking lot And then the back of the strip mall parking lot There's a brand new Hampton Inn and we decided to rent a hotel room there so that we know we already know We're gonna be shots and beer all night long. We're not driving back to wherever the fuck we have to go We're just gonna walk over to the hotel room two Two beds, just be clear about that, two beds. Like Ross and Rachel,

Chrissy and I never hooked up until season seven, but we're only on season six. So, you know, we're not there yet. We're not at the villages yet. Yeah, we're not at the villages yet. So we get this hotel room, we drop our bags, we park in the middle of the parking lot, so our car's halfway in between,

and we go to this party, which is a, it's cold, but there's a tent with heaters. There's a band playing. I happen to know the guy who's playing. Anyway, it's a whole fucking shit show over there. And we get right to it. We get right to work, as you do when you're in radio promotions.

You drink and act like a fool. Yeah. And... Just to make sure everything's tasting correctly. Yeah. And that the other customers are having a good time. You gotta make sure that everyone is having a good time. You gotta make sure that when you leave,

they know that 94.9 The Bull, they party hard there. They believe in the products they're selling. They drank a keg of yingling on their own. There was just two of them. Well, there was three or four of us, but halfway through the night, it's probably midnight, 1230. And I can see the look in my best friend's eye. I know that look when one eye is drifting off to the side. Yes, I did get the look in my best friend's eye. I know that look. When one eye is drifting off to the side. Yes, I did get the look. Yes, Chrissy got the look and the guys were swirling around

and I was like, hey. Time to go to the hotel. Time to go to the hotel, Chrissy. And I literally dragged her to the hotel, threw her upstairs and said, have a good night. And when I came back three hours later, she was in the exact same position, shoes, jacket, everything.

She was gone. And like the crime scene body. Yes, the crime scene body. One hand up here, another here. And I came back with another person who worked at the radio station. And that's all the story I can tell. Just know it was an interesting night

for everyone involved. So much more interesting I wish I could share, but I love my friend and I'm not gonna take it any further than that. So there you go. We have had a few St. Patrick's days together and that was a Monday night also. So there you go.

I don't think we showed up to work on Tuesday, but I think everybody knew that anyway. It wasn't like they were expecting us to show up. We had work obligations the night before. Yes. I just remember waking up in that Hampton Inn and our other friend had already left and I was like, oh.

Ruh-roh. Uh-oh. I had a pounding headache. Yeah. I think we went to breakfast or something. We did. Yeah, like the flying biscuit or some shit. At like one in the afternoon.

Well, that's the kind of breakfast you have when you're out, you to 1230, me to 330, watching movies all night long. Anyway, that was a fun one. So I hope you survived your St. Patrick's Day. If you got any shenanigans you'd like us to know about, go ahead and text them or call them in. But I thought it was important to start the morning off or start the week

off, uh, sharing two things. Number one, Aaron Weber, great guy, funny comedian. And, uh, he is our TCB infomercial this week. So if you didn't listen, go take a listen to Tuesday's episode with Aaron Weber of the Nate Borgazzi clan up there in Nashville, Tennessee. He's on Nate Lynn podcast. He's on the never ending tour. Uh, he's on Nate Lynn podcast, he's on the NeverEnding Tour. Uh, he's got a 30-minute special out that's easy to digest,

really funny, fun for the whole family. It's relatively clean comedy. You can watch it, um, you know, with small children who's, who aren't going to understand, like, the nuances of the comedy. As you, as the kids get older, they may catch on to some of the things. I wouldn't call it clean comedy. I think that's the wrong way to say it. He doesn't use traditional cuss words.

That's probably the best way to put it, but he's really funny. He was a great guy to talk to. Aaron Weber, and then all the links in the show notes if you wanna go. From Aaron Weber, clean comedy guy, to Ari Shaffir, not clean comedy guy. Let me tell you something.

Ari came on the show a couple of weeks ago and we had so much fun with Ari Ari Shaffir, not clean comedy guy. Let me tell you something, we've, you know, Ari came on the show a couple of weeks ago and we had so much fun with Ari and we laughed so hard. He is such a naturally gifted comedian. He's one of these guys, but you're not gonna fully understand the extent to which Ari can make you laugh until you see him on a stage doing his thing.

I think even the special does not do him justice. Because two things, we saw Ari on Saturday night. He was nice enough to leave some tickets for us. So we went and we saw it. Um, number one, great tickets. Thanks, Ari. We really appreciate it. Number two, I didn't expect Ari to be as physical

in his comedy as he was. Like, I watched the special, and I know he walks around the stage and he uses his body in certain ways. Yeah. But he uses his body to great effect. And like, you know, the microphone as a prop and whatever he's got, you know,

at his disposal as a prop. He used it to great effect. He is a fantastic storyteller. He really is. He went on forever, by the way. I expected a 45-, 60 minutes set. Oh, yeah, he was a good hour and a half for something. Oh, I was an hour and 38 minutes or something.

It went on for a long time, and I could have done another half an hour. I really could have. He was so fucking funny. If you get a chance to see Ari in anywhere near you, you, this, you will not be disappointed in this, what he, the show he's putting on right now. Yeah, he had some other great comics with him as well. Yeah, I wish I could remember their names.

I'm sure I could go look them up. He had a host that did 10 minutes that was pretty funny. He had another guy come out that was in the English teacher. Is that right? The English teacher? Let me look that guy up real quick because I want to give him a shout out. He was really funny. Jeff really enjoyed him too.

Uh, the English teacher. He did this whole bit about, I mean, you know, it's not for the faint of heart. He did a whole, this comedian did a whole bit about, um, about abortion. And I just could not stop fucking laughing. Is it, it's not Norbert Leo Boots, is it? Was that him? I don't think that was his name, but. No, that was definitely not him.

I'm sorry. Okay, I'll find out and I'll put a link in the show notes. I don't wanna waste the whole. And there was another girl too that came out and she was on Netflix. Yeah. And I really liked her too. Yeah.

So, yeah, listen, I liked them all. I thought they all were good in their own way. I will say this, the other two comics that came out, the first two comics, the host and this guy from the English teacher, they were so high energy as was Ari. And then the girl in between was a different energy altogether. And so, yeah, okay.

But she was funny. I mean, she was funny. But then Ari came out and there was no must, no fuss, no break in between. When the host came out, it was 45 minutes later, Ari came out, there was absolutely no space in between. And when he came out, he murdered the city from the moment he got out there. He was so fucking funny.

He told a story about Burt Kreischer that I didn't know. I'm not going to spoil it because if you go see it, I want you to... and obviously, they're his jokes, they're so much better, it's his story. But he told a story about Burt Kreischer that I never knew. And it was Uproariously hilarious. Yes. Meanwhile, there are Terrible thunderstorms and tornadoes bearing down on the city of Atlanta I mean, I think those tornadoes killed like 38 people on their way over to Atlanta and that's terrible

I don't I'm not making light of that that was horrible but we were all kind of watching the weather because you do not if there's one place in Atlanta You do not want to be during a tornado. It's the Tabernacle. The Tabernacle is like a hundred and sixty year old church Yeah, where am I? 1901 1901 so it's 120 years old. Am I am I mistaken when I say that the Tabernacle was somewhere where MLK jr. Preached at one point either was like something having it was a real say that the tabernacle was somewhere where MLK Jr. preached at one point? Maybe. There was like something having to do with- I mean, it was a real church, a real tabernacle.

And it's still got the organ, the pipe organ, sitting in the back of it, refurbished, obviously. And now it's a theater and it's been this way since about 1996. They've had this as a theater. It's an institution and it's a beautiful place to see anything. I saw, yeah, Rafael and I were talking, Rafa came with us. Rafael and I were talking. I saw Stone Temple Pilots at the Tabernacle in 1997 maybe. So not in the heyday heyday, but pretty close to the heyday. I have never seen a real life rock and roll star so rock and roll.

Oh, I'm sure. Scott Wheldon roll star so rock and roll. Oh, I'm sure. Scott Wheldon came out so high and so charged up and so ready to go. We are both convinced that we saw him smoking crack during the show. Yeah. It was, that probably was true.

At that point, I think it was known that he had an addiction problem. There was something going on there that no one could quite figure. Wasn't a cigarette, couldn't quite figure it out. But this guy put on a show like I have never seen before in my entire life. He was like, the whole crowd was bouncing up and down with him. And he was so in control of that crowd of the music. It was loud.

It was fast. He was so good at what he did. I mean, I miss that guy, that guy, you know, you can't live like that forever, but he was so good at what he did. STP was, and they weren't even my favorite band, but when I left there, the Tabernacle, they weren't my favorite band,

but I had a newfound respect for STP. Because I always felt like STP was like a rip off of Pearl Jam. Not always felt like that, but when they first came out, I was like, oh, this guy's just trying to mimic. Not always felt like that, but when they first came out, I was like, oh, this guy's just trying to mimic Eddie Vedder. You know, there's only so many, there's only so much Eddie Vedder that can go around. Eddie Vedder's got a unique voice.

I thought, ah, he's just trying to rip him off, just like Scott Stapp, just like the next candle box, just like the next guy. But when we got in that theater, and he, like, was so rock and roll, it wasn't even funny, I was like, oh, no, this guy's not Eddie Vedder. This guy is his own thing, and he's really good at what he does. The Tabernacle is a beautiful place to see a show. We get to the place a little bit early, grab our tickets, you know, old style box office go grab an actual ticket like an actual ticket, which is amazing. I haven't held a ticket in my hands in years. And we go in and we go downstairs to the Tabernacle Bar, which is underneath the actual venue.

So you walk in and then you can go up the stairs or down the stairs, go up to the venue, down to the bar, you go down to the bar and in the back, it says $20, uh, what do you grind? You were at the merch stand, right? It's at the merch stand. Yeah. Well, I thought, well, if there's a t-shirt or an album or something, I'll buy it because I didn't pay for the tickets.

Let me support Ari in some way, shape, or form. Sure. But there was no merch hanging on the wall. But it said $20 Venmo at Ari Shaffir. And I thought to myself, did he really just put his actual Venmo out there, like his personal Venmo out there? And yes, it was his personal Venmo and it said grinder. So Raphael being Raphael thought, Oh, he's selling mushrooms.

That's what it is. There's mushrooms. We can go buy mushrooms. So we thought, Oh, let's go buy some mushrooms. Is he really selling my, okay, let's go buy some, you know, he told stories about drugs and stuff like that on our show. And I know he's told plenty of other stories about doing hallucinogens. So I thought, well, maybe he's just ballsy enough to get someone to stand there and actually sell mushrooms. But I was disappointed to find there was no

mushrooms. But what it was, was a small, like, plastic grinder with his face on it, kind of in that, like, Grateful Dead red-blue coloring. And then on the back, he had signed every one of them. There was just like a bunch of grinders for sale. $20 bucks. It was like a weed grinder. A weed grinder. So I bought two of them and then I crushed up my cocaine and there we go. On went the night.

Your one time a year. My one time a year. My one time a year I took a drag of a cigarette was at the Ari show and I quickly put it out. I was like, oh no, no, uh-uh. I think that it out. I was like, oh no, no, uh uh. I think that every time. I think it every time. Every time that someone lights up a cigarette around me,

that smell gets me and I'm like, oh, I'd love a drag. And I resist 364 days of the year. But there's one of three places where it gets me. At a concert, in Las Vegas, or in Europe. One of those three things. And I'll even tell Asher, I'll be like, I got, let me have a cigarette. And she doesn't care, she doesn't control me.

She's like, okay, whatever. Do you wanna have a cigarette? I have a cigarette. But every time I light up a fucking cigarette, I put it right the goddamn out because I can't take it. It's gross. It's just gross. The taste, the smell.

I don't know, I almost feel drunk after. You know what I'm saying? Like there's some weird sensation that comes over me. It's just gross, the taste, the smell. I don't know, I almost feel drunk after. You know what I'm saying? Like, there's some weird sensation that comes over me. I think that because drugs, alcohol, and cigarettes were so intertwined in my brain for so long, that now when I smoke a cigarette,

I get taken back to some place. It's like I'm having a flashback of some sort, of me on a floor writhing in anxiety from a long night of cocaine abuse. You know what I'm saying? It's a weird place. It's a weird place that I go. So we go upstairs and we all go sit down at these lovely seats that Ari has gotten us.

And it's a good crowd. It's a good mix of human beings. The guy next to me had a very unique laugh. I know, Chrissy, I couldn't take it. I was like, dude, I know you can't really help the way that you laugh. It's like the way that you sneeze. It's one of those things that just grows on you over time.

And some might say I have an obnoxiously high weird laugh. But I do have to say, the guy sitting next to you, he sounded like a horse. Like, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho Or is that like, is this a... Then I thought, was he pain? Yeah, me too. I was like, is Ari taping this and he needs someone to be uproariously laughing or what's going on? Because that was just too convenient that the guy right next to us was like, oh, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, everything. Everything. Oh, he laughed at everything.

Everything. Ari'd say, well, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay, dude, we get it. It's funny, we know. But it was, it was funny. It was funny. I had a good laugh every minute or so. I had a belly laugh and yeah, he-

Tina came with us? Tina came with us. Tina was there. Some people have written in and said, why- Tina came with us? Tina came with us, Tina was there. Some people have written in and said, why isn't Tina on the last few episodes? Tina was always here as in between. She was a stopgap measure. Christina was here for a long time,

Christina moved on. Tina is always going to be a part of the show. She helps write some stuff. She helps with content ideas and guests, interviews and all that other stuff. So Tina was here physically in the studio because I had set up the studio in such a way that I could not conveniently do it myself.

So, you know, Brian, with all his forethought, can't actually get to the things I need to get to in order to make the show work. So now I've bought more equipment, we have more wires, and now I'm able to do it by myself. So Tina will be in here. We will check in with Tina soon, don't worry. So I know that there's a lot of upheaval going on

at the commercial break, and everyone's all worried about it, don't worry. It's back to Chrissy and I, everything's fine. Astrid's still here, Tina's still here, other people are here, you're here. Gustavo's here, virtually. Oh, Gustavo's here, yeah. Gustavo's just on the phone with Ast here. Gustavo's here. Oh, Gustavo's here. Yeah, Gustavo's just on the phone with Astrid.

Gustavo. You know, if Gustavo, as long as Gustavo's allowed to stay in the country, I think we're okay. We don't know. The Venezuelans are very much up in the air right now. Last time Trump was in office, the Venezuelans were heroes to him. And, you know, he loved them and he was protecting them. And, you know, you're welcome here. And we're giving out all these visas to make sure that the Venezuelans don't get, you know, uh, killed by Maduro. And now it's the opposite. Now he hates the Venezuelans. Now the Venezuelans need to leave.

And so we'll see. It's a very, um, it's a very unsettling time to be a Venezuelan or. It's a love of Venezuelan to have a Venezuelan family member. It's a very unsettling time. Now, of course, Astrid is a citizen, so I to have a Venezuelan family member, it's a very unsettling time. Now, of course Astrid is a citizen, so I don't expect that anything bad would happen, but we just don't know.

I mean, it's a weird, weird time to be an American right now. And let's hope that, I don't know, there's some sense of normalcy or calm that starts to come over this White House so that we can all get about the business of having a good economy, feeding our families, and not having to worry about the next dramatic thing. Anyway, that's that.

Anyway, to put a point on this, Ari was hilarious. You need to go see him if he comes around. He is. Yeah, it's worth it. So good, so good. So thanks to Ari Shaffir one more time for giving us those tickets. And Erin Weber, who we haven't seen live yet, but maybe we will. You know who's coming in town?

Do I want to go see? Who? Kelsey. Oh, of course. Kelsey's going to be in town next week, I think. Yeah, actually Tina was talking about that and I was like, let's go. Yeah, let's go. So Kelsey, send those tickets over to Brian at... So Kelsey, send those tickets over to Brian at, no, I don't expect free tickets and maybe we will go see Kelsey. You never know. We're a wily group. We're out and about all the time. We are. I mean, Saturday night, that was just one of many nights that I have been out in the last 10 years. That's one of six nights I have been out in the last decade. That's right. I know it felt very privileged because we went to see Bill Murray. Two nights I have been out in the last decade. That's right.

I know, I felt very privileged because we went to go see Bill Murray. Yeah, two nights in a month. And then now, yeah, that's wild. Two nights in a month, it's crazy. The only thing that was missing on Saturday was Astrid. That's the only thing that was missing. Damn it, it's hard to find a babysitter for three kids.

Yeah. Yeah. 30, yes. And then you have to trust the babysitter. Well, right, and then the kids have to like the babysitter. That's right. Not scream. They have to be willing to stay with the babysitter. Because we could have very well just,

there was a couple extra ideas we had about who could babysit, but you're right about that, is that we don't know how the kids are gonna react. And to have them come all the way over here to then 15 minutes later say, well, we don't need you, I don't think this is gonna work out, which has happened before. Because you can't leave your kids with someone when they're screaming bloody murder.

You got to trust that they know something. I know. I was going to say, I wish, I mean, I was already going to the show, so I couldn't do it. But if you guys really need somebody, let me know. I would love to help you guys out on a romantic evening. Well, they do like you. So at least you, at least you got one foot forward from some other people. Exactly.

They like me. I like them. We're all good. Yeah. Okay. All right. Well, let's do this. We'll talk about babysitting over the break.

And then when we come back, we'll talk about stuff you care about. Okay? All right. We'll be back. Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on TCB. And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast can continue. Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears, and I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail.

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I'm Jordan Robinson, host of the new podcast, The Women's Hoop Show. Each episode, I'll be joined by a rotating group of women's basketball experts to talk WNBA, college hoops, the new Unrivaled League, and the shifting landscape of the sport. The game is growing and so are we. Listen to and follow The Women's Hoop Show and Odyssey podcast available now for free

on the Odyssey app or wherever you get your podcast. Did you know that there's only one kind of dog that's allowed in Greenland and it's a Greenland dog? I did not know this. A Greenland shepherd dog or something like that? No. Greenland hound or something like that. So you know when Papi Liao was here, we were sharing our love of these people who sail

across the ocean by themselves or with another person for no good reason except to show the rest of us that things can be done. Actual things can be done when given a chance. A little bit of motivation and a lot of effort. But I love watching these videos about these people who just like sail across oceans. Or there's a whole family,

and now I'm stuck in this loop this like loop of these, this family. Oh yeah, I've seen the families. You've seen the family. It's like, there's a couple of them that do this. But this one I'm watching, it's like a dad, a mom and like three teenagers, two boys and a girl. And sometimes they have their friends with them and they have this really big boat.

Like it's a really big boat. It's got like rooms downstairs and stuff like that. But it's, it's a sailing boat and they are sailing to some wild places. I mean, like Israel, like they're going in the Red Sea and stopping in, you know, Iraq and wherever these places are. Those crazy places. Yeah.

And they really do it. I mean, they go to the Caribbean, they go everywhere. And so somehow stuck in this loop of watching these videos, I start getting served up these other videos. And one of them is my girlfriend and I And so somehow stuck in this loop of watching these videos, I start getting served up these other videos. And one of them is, uh, my girlfriend and I, uh, iced in for the winter wintered in. And I was like, Oh, what is that? I want it wintered in. What does that mean?

What that means is they live in Greenland. They go up to the Arctic circle. They find themselves a nice, like, fjord, like a calm... A nice fjord. A nice fjord. And they stick themselves as far in that fjord as they can get, where the water stays relatively calm and the tide doesn't shift too much. And they wait for the ice to ice them in. And then they spend the winter there. On a boat, like a two person sailing boat with one room. Like we're talking like sleeping on a hammock type of thing. Food and that's it.

And then they just de, they winterize the boat. They let the ice come. They just stay iced in for the entire winter, which is fucking insane. It is fucking insane. And the only protection they have is too- That's so awful. And I'm cold right now too too- That's so awful. And I'm cold right now too, thinking about it.

They just look cold. The whole thing looks cold. You're right about this. You get cold just watching the video. You don't even have to be there to feel cold because these people are in a constant state of cold. They're surrounded by ice. It's like minus 13 degrees at any given time, even during the day. And they just sit there and read and do work on the internet

and look for the bad weather that's gonna come and cause problems for them. It just seems like a miserable existence. But they're all excited because they're getting away from everybody. They're like, oh, it's so excited to get away from anybody. You live in Greenland, you're already away from everybody. It's not like there's like a population. These are people that live in Greenland. You live in Greenland, you're already away from everybody. It's not like there's like a population.

These are people that live in Greenland. They live in Greenland. And then they go to another part. Yes. That they then cocoon in. Yes, they go cocoon in. But not in a warm cocoon. They ice in for the winter. No, not in a warm. I mean, I guess if you consider the boat

a warm place, but you know, they got 50,000 gallons of diesel and they, this is the weirdest thing they ice in, then they throw a bunch of stuff off the boat to make sure that the boat sits as high up in the water as possible. And then they go and they bury it out somewhere on the ice or in the snow for a later date, food, rations, emergency kits, communicators, in case they get into trouble and a bunch of fuel. And then they just run the generator to have heat and electricity and, you know, stuff like that and their, their satellite, their fucking starlink or

messing up the sky or whatever it is. Starlink. So I'm watching this whole video. It's like two hours long. It's their first, they're going to go and do this. And so they're getting the boat ready. They're getting all these things ready and they decide we need two things for protection because we're really in the middle of nowhere.

So there's going to be nothing. There's no human beings. There's no roads. There's no nothing, but what there is, is polar bears and ice foxes and stuff like that. That's all that lives up there. Polar bears. Now I don't know because I never met a polar bear, but I've seen them at the zoo

and they're rather intimidating creatures. They're huge. Yeah, they are. And they're known to kill people because they don't give a shit. They are apex predators. And if you're fucking around and they're territorial too.

Well, I was gonna say you're in their territory. Right. So they get two things. They get a gun and they get a dog, but they can, they have to go like to another part of the tundra to go look for a dog and they getting these, like all these dogs are living outside in this snow and ice, you know, they're not inside dogs, they're outside dogs. And they grab a dog and put them on the boat and try and train them to go pee

pee poo poo other places. And he's this huge dog and he's on the boat and try and train them to go pee-pee, poo-poo other places and he's this huge dog and he's like living on this tiny boat just sitting there while they're sailing through the waters. But in this, all this conversation, they explain that in Greenland, there are no other breeds of dogs that are allowed except for service animals that have been registered and approved by the government. That's it. other breeds of dogs that are allowed except for service animals that have been registered and approved by the government. That's it.

So like I would imagine they probably have like drug sniffing German shepherds or something like that. People, you know, dogs that find people when they're lost or whatever, but not many, and so I did my homework and it's true in Greenland, they only have one kind of dog and that dog serves a real purpose either gets you you from point A to B, because it's a sled dog. That has a couple of purposes. Number two, it scares away the polar bears or lets you know that one's coming. And number three, uh, keeps you warm and protected, right?

It's a, it's a real purposeful dog and they don't bark. And so here I am eating my cream and cereal, watching my video on being iced in for the entire winter, it was making me feel lonely just watching it. And I'm watching these two amazing human beings do amazing things, and I'm looking at this dog and it's just sitting there on the boat like this while they're floating through the ice,

trying to find a good place to land. And this dog is just as like a pretty as a princess, just sitting there and only gets excited when he thinks the dog thinks number one i get now i'm gonna get to get off the boat and go take a nice run or number two there's impending doom like there's danger even when there's drama going on with the boat like oh my gosh you know the ice broke up and now we got to reposition and we could get swept away and all this and everyone all the humans are excited the dog is just sitting there Quiet as quiet as a mouse. It's not that doesn't care. It knows

Instinctively that I don't need to add to this drama because everybody's already excited anyway How did I get the opposite of whatever that is? Because I could fart and my dogs barks for a half an hour as if the world has ended. As if there's a criminal coming inside the house to take my children away. This dog is the opposite of whatever that Greenland dog is. Those dogs have been bred for purpose and they care about their owners and they want them to be nice and calm. And all I'm doing is causing myself a panic attack every 15 minutes because

Blue won't shut up. Won't shut up. There's storms over the weekend. I'm up. Like, I get home from the RE show. Yeah. Yeah. When I was a kid, my dad, you know, he was a dad of a certain generation. So maybe he wasn't Mr. Fluffy Lovable all the time or any of the time. But he was a man who protected the house. Yes.

And he took care of his family. That's what he did. And he did it very economically. Not a lot of words, not a lot of hugs, not a lot of, I'm proud of his family. That's what he did. And he did it very economically. Not a lot of words, not a lot of hugs, not a lot of, I'm proud of yous, I love yous. I am the exact opposite of whatever that is. I am always doting over my children. I love you, I'm proud of you, let me help you with that, I got this. Maybe sometimes a little bit too much, even helicopter-y sometimes.

But I took, picked up from my father that need and want to protect the family and make sure that they're fed. That's why the commercial break, guys. That's why the commercial break. That's why six years of the commercial break. Yeah. Yeah, I'm just hoping it actually starts feeding

the family someday. One day. But I feel this real sense of obligation. Like when I remember when the storms would come to Atlanta, my dad had the weather radio, which is what you had back then, the police scanner. Oh yeah. And he would stay up in his office

and he would turn that on. He would monitor. And on a couple of occasions, he said, let's get down in the basement, right? Because tornadoes are very real here in Georgia, and they do happen. So I picked that up from my father, that need, that want to protect the family.

So I get home from Ari on Saturday night. Everyone is sleeping, snug as a bug in a rug. Everyone's in the same room, because Astrid said, I'm putting everyone in the room. And actually, when I got home, there were like shoes outside in the hallway. Like she was ready if something went down before I got home.

But now I'm home and Astrid greeted me and then she went right to bed. She's like, okay, he's got it now, right? It's his shift. So I'm up, I'm watching the never ending news coverage, you know, channel five, channel two, David Shanley here. You know, we have a severe weather one, get down in your basement now.

Pending doom now. You know, Daytona in five minutes and city central in three minutes and be careful and here's all the, you know, open a window and keep your weather radio on and all this other stuff. Like the dramatic news coverage, 24 hour news coverage. So I've got it on my phone and I'm watching it.

And I'm like, okay, okay, I'm ready. If anything happens, I know grab the kids, put them out in the hallway and we'll survive whatever happens. We'll go down together. Are you supposed to get like in a bathtub too? Yeah, it's hard to put all of us in a bathtub. There's so many of us. We don't have a bath that big.

Plus the bathtub's here on exterior walls and that's not a good idea. You got it. You want to be on the interior wall, right? Okay. So no must no fuss. We'll get in the hallway. No problem. But here's my point. I'm like, I'm not going to wake them up unless I absolutely have to do that. Not going to wake them up. But Blue has other ideas because the slightest rumble of thunder.

Which was there, there was a lot. It was like really rumbling for a while and tons of lightning. Loud, loud, loud, loud. It was loud. It didn't end. It just went on for like two hours, just strike after strike. I think I'd saw David Cheney or whatever his name is at some point say, in a 10 minute period, we've had 1500 lightning strikes in our viewing area. And that, that've had 1500 lightning strikes in our viewing area. And that's crazy, 1500.

And so I am just trying to be quiet, trying to keep the volume down. I'm not gonna wait, it's 1.30 in the morning, not gonna wake anybody else up unless I have to, because number one, it takes a Herculean effort to get those children to sleep in the first place. And I don't wanna have to do that twice. But number two, everybody needs their beauty sleep. Let's make sure they get as much rest as possible.

The first rumble of thunder and Blue spinning in circles, barking. And I'm like, shut up, Blue, quiet. And the more that I tell her to quiet, the more she starts spinning around and barking. Chrissy, I'm like this. I'm like, okay, here's the deal. If you bark one more time, I'm going to put you out on the back porch, and you're going to have to deal with this on your own, because you are a little bitch, and I don't want to have anything else to do with you. And all I could keep thinking was, if I only had that Greenland dog, we would have none of this. The dog would be quiet as a mouse, ready to jump,

ready to pounce when the time came to protect the family. She would literally lay over us to protect us from the tornado. And here's Blue. And all Blue can do is run around like a little rat, making a bunch of noise. She kind of looks like Toto from The Wizard of Oz. She is Toto from The Wizard.

Yes, I wish the tornado would take her away to Oz. Right, well I thought tornado and Blue and then I mean think of the Wizard of Oz. This little shit. I mean honestly this little shit. She's cute. That's the thing. She is cute. And it's like so it's hard to be super angry at her, but live with her for a decade and you'll figure out how to do it. I know it's like I came in today, and even today, just, I mean, the barking. Is incessant. I come over here all the time, all the time,

for years now, I've been walking in that door. Anytime I come in, anytime I leave. And it's not just a bark bark and then stop. Yeah. It won't stop. It doesn't, she doesn't, she doesn't stop. Can't stop, won't stop. Can't stop, won't stop.

It's her model. That's right. She doesn't. She doesn't stop. Can't stop, won't stop. Can't stop, won't stop. It's her model. That's right. She's not like us. She's just weird. She just keeps going. And it's strange because when we leave the house or come in the house, it just, that's it.

Even if someone we know very well, Chrissy, who comes over here all the time, like three or four days a week, she just barks and it doesn't stop for like 15 minutes. And then when you leave, it doesn't stop for 15 minutes and it just never ends. And any bit of, any bit of uncom, like something that's not calm, and she just goes at it.

And it drives me crazy. And she's gonna wake the whole fucking family up when there's no reason to. That's the worst part about having Blue is that at any given moment, Blue could decide that something's not to her liking and she's gonna make sure that everybody knows about it by barking.

Have the kids kinda got like to where they tune her out a little bit? No. No. Every baby that we've had, all 20 of them, every baby that we have had, all 20 of them, every baby that we have had, it is a constant fight to keep the kids, yes. Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, sh, no, no, no, shut up. And I thought, oh my God, I'm changing you for a Greenland dog. I'm sending her to Greenland.

And I'm going to unleash holy hell on all of Greenland as they breed her into the mix and the Greenland calm protection dogs all of a sudden turn into barky, yappy little shits. Oh, it's so terrible. I saw a dog the other day with one of those little things on its... A muzzle? A muzzle on its snout and I thought, oh, that's kind of sad, but I get it. Yeah. Well, usually you do the muzzle when there are bite risk. That's why you do the muzzle.

Okay, that's why. I was on a walk and saw it. Because it can restrict them from opening their mouth, but a dog doesn't have to open its mouth very far to have it bark. Arf, arf, arf. And then instead of, ruff, we're gonna get arf, arf, arf. We can take its vocal cords out. And then we'll get- And it'll look like Hannibal Lecter. Yeah. We can take its vocal cords out.

The Hannibal dog. Yeah. We'll get this. Arf, arf, arf, arf. I've heard dogs with their vocal cords out. It's the most annoying thing. Now it's a squirrel. Now I got baby squirrels living in my house. Blue, shut up.

Here come the storms. I don't want it. It sounds like a dog with a sinus infection. So lo and behold, you know, the baby way, I'm like, oh my God, come on. What are you doing to me? I just want to get some sleep. It's the first time in years that I've been out after nine o'clock at night. I know. And I have to get some sleep because now I'm going to be miserable. Shut up. The weird thing is though is that, you know, she barks, barks, barks. I come in here

to the studio, she comes in and lays calmly lays down right next to me. Well, you know, and when we redid the studio Astrid's's like, just let her stay in the studio because she seems to be okay when she's there. But the problem is that if I get worked up about something, she's gonna get worked up too, and then we're all gonna bark. Because unbelievably, the person who is really kind of over it in this family, I mean, everybody's over it,

but the person who's most over it is Brian, but she just, like, she is attached at my hip. And she, that's the other thing, is that she follows me around everywhere. And if I'm not like literally looking at her, she will walk in front of me and stand in front of me and just look up. And I'm like, oh my, really?

I can't go anywhere? I go to the bathroom, she has to, she's trying to get in the door and I'm like, I don't need to shit with you here. I don't. Oh, Chrissy, it's terrible. I want a Greenland dog. That's what I want. Yeah.

Or like I told you when I went to Mexico, there was this dog that was at the hotel, the resort that we were at, and it was the hotel dog. And it just went around. It was very good, nice and calm, and it lived the hotel dog and it just it went around it was very good nice and calm and it lived on the beach well that's what we need for blue blue down to Mexico accept her yes well I'm gonna send her down with that Billy McFarland and they can yeah yeah they can do the fire festival there's only one problem with that I don't think the fire festival is happening what a shit show

what a shit show I What a shit show. I'll give you an update about that and also some 90 day fiancé drama when we get back. Darcy and Stacey. Darcy and Stacey have written a song. Oh God. And wait until you hear it. It's just about as bad as you can imagine.

Let's catch up with Fyre too and Darcy and Stacey when we get back. Let me do something Brian has never done. Be brief. Follow us on Instagram at The Commercial Break. Text or call us, 212-433-3TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Visit our website, tcbpodcast.com, for all the audio, video, and your free sticker. Then watch all the videos at youtube.com slash the commercial break. And finally, share the show.

It's the best gift you could give a few aging podcasters. See, Brian? That really wasn't that difficult, now, was it? You're welcome. Okay, and we're back. I'm not watching the... I'm not listening to the Severance podcast you asked me. I listen to the Severance, what do they call them?

IPPAC episodes. They're like, they're essentially review episodes, but somehow the cast is connected. It's like the official, I have listened to the Severance podcast, the one that's the official Severance podcast, but this is called like the Severed podcast. It's different. Do you know what I'm talking about? I listened to that one on accident one time. All interesting.

There's so many theories. This show you have to watch in such detail. Every little nugget is another like thing to hang on to. And I love it, but I can't go down every single rabbit hole because I don't understand all of it. And I want to come to the natural conclusions that I'll come to with my own brain.

But this last episode, these last two episodes have been real wing dingers. Have you watched them? Yes. Yeah, they're real wing dingers. I can't believe there's only one more. I know. I hope there's another, there's gotta be another season.

I mean, it's not possible to wrap this all up in one more episode, unless that episode was like three hours long, which I hope it is. I love Severance. And that episode, two episodes ago, was only 30 minutes long, 36 minutes long, something like that. And that left me disappointed, but I loved the episode. Mock.

A lot of people. Mock. Mock. I love the way Patricia... Tell me everything. Stop talking so evil. Why are you talking so evil. Why are you talking so evil?

Anyway, if you're not watching Severance, you have no idea what we're fucking talking about, but you must watch Severance, because everybody's watching Severance. Okay, so I was gonna talk about two things. I was gonna talk about Darcy and Stacey. Yes. And then I was gonna talk about...

I just remember the, fire, fire festival. Fire festival. Yes. It was coming to me. It just took me a minute. Um, so weird. I got an email over the break and then I got me all flustered and here we go. Okay.

Uh, fire fest to definitely not happening. Definitely, definitely, definitely not happening. The local government says it's not happening. The island that it's supposed to be on says it's not happening. Now, all of the hotels that were associated with this have said they have no idea what anybody's talking about. No artists have been announced. And Billy McFarland has... So you remember how I told you that I had been contacted

about like an ancillary something that was going on with Fyre Festival. What I did not realize until I watched a video over our little break over the weekend, been contacted about like an ancillary something that was going on with Fire Festival. What I did not realize until I watched a video over the, over our little break over the weekend was that Billy has been trying to put on all kinds of events since he got out of jail and none of them have happened. He was supposed to put, he was supposed to like book out a hotel and then he was going to have like the biggest artists in the world play at this hotel and you had to spend a million

dollars to get a room to go to watch these artists. That never happened. He was going to do an underwater concert where it was going to be, you're going to have to use scuba gear to get down there. That didn't happen. He was going to do a private like Hamptons retreat where everyone got on a helicopter and flew to the Hamptons and saw the best artists in the world. That didn't happen. So many things that Billy has said are going to happen never happened.

And all in an effort to get people to buy tickets that then he would use the money for however he used the money. And he claims up and down sideways that this is happening, but even the production company, who does have some experience putting on festivals like EDM festivals down in Mexico, like three of them, but they do have some experience. They put out a statement saying that if everything goes right, we'll have this festival, but they have not announced it officially on their website, on their socials, on their Instagram, their TikTok, nothing. Meaning if we get paid. That's right. Meaning if we get paid, we don't want to be a part of this shit show, so we're going

to stay as far away as possible until the very last minute. Oh, and by the way, in case anyone was wondering, Billy McFarland is on parole. He cannot leave the country. So Billy McFarland does not even have permission to be at his own festival. He has never been to the site. He has no idea what's going on on the ground because he can't physically be there. So if this isn't a clear indicator of just how full

of shit this whole situation is, then let that be your warning. Billy himself has never visited the festival site, has no idea what's going on, can't possibly know what's going on. If you're going to put on a festival like that, how long does Jeff go, like, a month ahead of time? Oh, way more than that. No, I mean, like, he goes, like, physically stays there

for, like, a month ahead of time? A couple weeks ahead of time? Yeah, yeah. OK. Because that's what you need to do if you're putting on a festival. On site. Yeah, and Jeff doesn't even own the festival.

It's like, there are other people that have ownership. I mean, Jeff has ownership, but he's not like the guy who's writing the checks. Jeff is the director of the festival, but he is down on the ground with his hands dirty. Because you- Making sure everything is in place to go right. Billy can't be there.

Don't buy these tickets. I'm sure you haven't, but don't buy these tickets. Let Billy learn one last lesson here. And that is no one's ever going to trust you again to put on a festival. You should have had all of this shit figured out from the moment that you opened your mouth about it, you should have given yourself. It's crazy.

I mean, is there some kind, I mean, I can't help but wonder. I mean, is he really that dumb or is there some kind of other motive, ulterior motive that he's getting out of saying that this is going to happen and then it doesn't? Because I can't, I mean, you just have to be completely stupid after you got in so much trouble the first time for all of this. And then, and to do it again? To do it again.

But like in the like even worse this time because at least last time you had musicians that were booked. To try and get people to trust you to do this correctly when you have no acts, now you have no hotels, you have no indication from anybody that's actually on the ground that they know what's going on. This is like the worst possible PR disaster for any music event, any event.

And Billy on the Today Show, when asked, you know, do you think people are taking a risk buying these tickets? And Billy said, well, I think you take a risk when you buy any tickets. No, you don't. Because with most festivals, they've already planned it. It's already happening.

They already have the permits, the staging, the porta potties, months and months of logistical work. And they've probably paid large deposits to these bands and these artists to get them to show up. So you know what, Billy? Yeah, you don't announce something then plan it. No, that's what the commercial break does. You know what, Billy? Yeah, you don't announce something, then plan it. No! That's what the commercial break does.

Not a major music festival, but guess what? If it doesn't come across on your RSS feed, no one's gonna die. It's just insane. And to me, how anybody would be hoodwinked into buying these tickets, I don't know. I'm sure there are a couple of people who have bought tickets because they just want to be in on the shit show.

But man, I'm telling you what, Billy, if you aren't making money on the festival, if you haven't already signed contracts with Netflix, Hulu, Disney, Max, and all these people to make a documentary about shit show number two, you're the moron. You should absolutely have a camera crew following you around right now. So that's just an update on FireFest. It's less than a month and a half, it's less

than two months away, about a month and a half away, and no artist, no musical artist has been announced. But there's plenty of sports stars that have said they are connected in some way. Actually they haven't said that. He's posted them on his Instagram. And so that just makes me feel like it's all that much more shady. Like, who's going to? You want to pay $1,400 just for the tickets to go hang out in the same general area?

You could pay $30 and go to the arena and see them play from the nosebleed seats and probably get just as much access as you're gonna get at the Fire Fest. You think Kyrie Irving is gonna be hanging out with you because you paid $1,400 to be there? No, sir, re-bomb. Paid the million and a half, maybe,

maybe then Kyrie Irving would be there. But I'm telling you what- Maybe he's gonna have Darcy and Stacey. We don't know. We don't know. But Darcy and Stacey, We don't know. We don't know, but Darcy and Stacey, you can get them to make you a personalized something or other for like 26 bucks.

Right, Miranda? I'm kidding. All right, so let's do this. Darcy and Stacey, how do I explain Darcy and Stacey? Darcy and- Yeah, to somebody who does not know. Yeah, to someone who does not know. I want you to imagine the biggest birthday balloon

you've ever had, then imagine four of those. Two up front, two in the back, and then imagine two smaller balloons in your cheeks, two long balloons in your mouth, and then one in your forehead. And now you are imagining what used to be human beings are now just robots, I think, essentially plastic robots. Darcy and Stacey, twin girls who were first introduced to

on a short-lived reality show called like Twinsies or something like that back in the 90s. Was that before she did? Yes. I mean, the first time I really saw Darcy or Stacey again, I don't know which one it was, but was on the before the 90 days, I think, where she went over there to meet that guy who was the model.

The German guy or whatever. The Nordic guy. Yeah, the Nordic guy from Norway, that's right. Yeah, it could have been the first season of before the 90 days or 90 day fiance the other way or whatever it is. But she got introduced to us like 10 years ago. A decade she's been in the consciousness,

but she did do a shortly lived reality show before that. But I don't think it was on TLC. I think it was like UPN or something, but it only had like three episodes. And it was following these two twins who were married, both of them, who both of them had children. They had both been divorced and moved back home with their father.

And it was supposed to be following these two girls who had champagne tastes and caviar dreams on Walmart budgets, whatever. And over the years, over the 90 Day Fiancé programs, they have embedded themselves into this lexicon, into this very popular 90 Day Fiancé format. I wanna see like a, you know, how they show- Before and after? You know how it shows,

well, you know how it shows like the phases of the moon? Yes, the phases of Darcy and Stacey. Yes, because it's, the one that I saw originally, originally, she was pretty, she was kind of getting there. You know, she had a little bit of this. Yeah, she had a little bit of a nip tuck here and there. A little bit of that.

Big boobs, obviously. Yeah, but it wasn't what it is today. My gosh. No, today it is just, they are, and I just saw an Instagram reel about Darcy and she was going to get her monthly Botox. Monthly, she had a subscription service to Botox at this place and she was doing a promotion for them, obviously, and she was getting this Botox.

You couldn't put more Botox in these girls. No, and now they've got those weird jaw lines because they've had that jaw work done. Oh, the fat removed or whatever. Yeah, they look like square jaws. It's really disturbing. In my opinion, it's plastic surgery. They're starting to look like those, that cat lady.

And their eyes are almost closed because they have so many fillers that are drooping down. It's weird. They're both, they seem like nice enough human beings, but they're just plastic fantastic. And they're ridiculous human beings, by the way, too. So the other day I'm trolling on their Instagram to get an update on all the plastic surgery.

And I find a song that Darcy has written for, I think, a brother that they had had that passed away some years ago. And I don't wanna make fun of the brother passing away. That's not a... No. God bless. That's a very difficult thing to go through. But I'm not sure this is the correct way to honor him, singing this song that is insane

to me. Are you ready for this? I'm ready. All right. Let's see if we can make it work. Hold on. I'm still here. Thank you for the inspiration. I'm still here.

Thank you for the inspiration. You will always be my angel. Here comes the breakdown. I mean, not a terrible intro, like if his songs go, it's not the worst, but now we're getting into like every song I've ever heard before ever. This is for you. For you! Just remember, they're here with you. You! My brother, we love you. There will never be a love like you. None can ever take your place. I think we could have used some autotune here.

We could have desperately used autotune. You've got everything else. All the technology out there. Yes. All the technology out there has made you look like you look. You can at least use some autotune. I don't even know if that note really exists in real life. I think that was something she made up. I know you're in a better place, although we're still apart.

It's okay. It's okay. You're always in my heart. I was looking back on yesterday. Oh, God, God, girls! I didn't know your future would end this way. No one knows their future's gonna end this way. I didn't know your future would end this way.

That's not a congruent sentence, but okay, well, that's the least of the sins in this song. This is terrible. Who made this? Who did this for these girls and said, yeah, that's it? There's always somebody that will do it. I know. You know, I know it's bad is it's got more shares than it does likes. Oh, God, that's it.

Okay, that's all I can handle. Is that vaguely like another song that I've heard too? Oh, it sounds like all the amount. that's it. Okay, that's all I can handle. It sounds vaguely like another song that I've heard too. Oh, it sounds like all the amount. It's singularity. It's the music singularity. It's all happening right there in that song. I feel, feel love from you. And the weird whispering in the background, I know you're out there.

I can smell you on my shirt. It's like, it's just weird. It's just weird. Girls, start, like come back to humanity. Come back down to earth, ladies. Please, it's enough. You were, listen, I get it. You always lived in a weird world. Wherever you came from, you always lived in a weird world.

You're twins. You're trying to be, you know, plastic, and beautiful all the time and all that stuff. I get that. But you have drifted so far from normalcy that it's hard to relate anymore. Like you're just strange at this point and God bless you. That's the way you want to live your life. Listen, I'm, you're not hurting anybody. I guess that's fine, but it just feels to me like I had, you know, when I first saw Darcy in that first season, I really felt like that guy screwed her over.

Yes. He was a real jerk, right? He was a real jerk and he screwed her over. And although I always felt Darcy was a little strange, I also felt like Darcy deserved better than that guy. But it didn't take me long to go, ah, well, I guess if I was him, maybe, I don't know. Can you imagine if those two are still together? No.

No, he ran off with another 90 day fiance chick. Did he? Yeah, he got the better, some super, one of the super hot South American girls. Remember? That's right. Yeah. That is right. And she wanted to dress half naked and he got all upset about it.

And it's like, you know what you were getting yourself into, bro. Yeah. Yeah, don't try and pretend like you don't know. We all know. We all know you, the Greenland dog only comes from Greenland. You're still watching The Last Resort, right? I don't even know where I am in that show.

It's on in the background, it's fine, but I can't take it anymore. I really can't. They're all so thirsty. No, The Last Resort one's bad. Yeah, well, when you're on your 12th season of 90 Day Fiancé and now you're just putting all of your marriage woes out there for everyone to see, half those couples aren't together. Weren't even together when they showed up on the show. They're certainly not going to be together after a month and a half of drinking in a fucking Jacuzzi.

Drinking in front of cameras on In A Jacuzzi. Drinking in therapy. Yeah. It has never fixed any marriage ever. And it's not going to fix these. It's terrible. It's a terrible television show. I hope they put that one out to pass. They need to. But honestly, the new 90 Day Fiance that just came out is not much better.

I'm not watching it. Yeah, I think it's jumped the shark at this point. I'm over it. There's too much good television to watch. There is. Like the Seven Little Johnston. That's the thing. Seven Little Johnston. I got to go to the Fire Fest. I don't have time for 90 Day Fiance. It was so good for so long. We had an embarrassment of riches, but now it's just, it's dated at this point. Yeah. And we all know that no one comes in on,

no one can get immigration papers anymore anyway. So it's kind of, it's gonna end. It's gonna end. It's too close to the bone at this point. If Donald Trump hasn't put a stop to 90 Day Fiance, the television show yet, he's coming after it. Trust me. He's gonna find out that's a way he's gonna get score points.

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break youtube.com slash the commercial break for all the episodes on video the same day they air here on audio and 212-433-3822 212-4333-TCB questions comments concerns content ideas or leave a voicemail okay Chrissy that's all I can do for today. I think so. I'll tell you that I love you. I love you. Best to you. Best to you. And best to you out there in the podcast universe.

Until next time, Chrissy and I will say, we do say and we must say, Goodbye. Goodbye. I get ass.