The Compound and Friends - Planning to Be Single (Tadas with Douglas Boneparth)

Episode Date: April 19, 2019

“But the truth is, singles should be planning “for one,” because they need to plan, period. When people don’t take ownership of needing to reach financial independence on their own, they are more likely to put off their goals entirely. ” Douglas Boneparth is the President of Bone Fide Wealth in New York City. Tadas Viskanta got Douglas on the phone to talk about a recent post of his entitled “Planning to be Single” where he talks about the similarities (and differences) in financial planning for singles vs. couples. You can read more about Douglas’ take at his blog Bone Fide Wealth: https://bonefidewealth.com/blog/planning-to-be-single/ Enable our Alexa skill here - "Alexa, play the Compound show!" https://www.amazon.com/Ritholtz-Wealth-Management-LLC-Compound/dp/B07P777QBZ Talk to us about your portfolio or financial plan here: https://ritholtzwealth.com/ Obviously nothing on this channel should be considered as personalized financial advice just for you or a solicitation to buy or sell any securities. Please see this 3,000 word terms & conditions disclaimer if you seriously need this spelled out for you. https://thereformedbroker.com/terms-and-conditions/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey, Douglas. It's Taddis. How are you? Hey, doing great. Good. I'm on the line with Douglas Boneparth, who's the president of Bonafide Wealth. I asked Douglas on today to talk about a recent post of his entitled, Planning to be Single. You know, I think in my mind's eye, the stereotypical client of a financial planner is a couple. However, as Douglas points out, an increasing number of Americans are voluntarily single. So, obviously, some of the goals of singles and couples are the same, but some are clearly different. So that feels like a good place to start. Douglas,

how do you see single people approaching financial planning differently than couples? Sure. I see them doing this tentatively. I think the societal pressures that are still out there from our parents, perhaps our friends that are married, even our grandparents. I think those pressures are still real. And what I'm seeing with my older millennial clients is sometimes hitting a roadblock, hitting a roadblock to plan for the future and achieve great things in life, because they're under this notion that they need a significant other to do that, but they don't. And the statistics show us that there is not only a rising share of never married adults in the country, but that the gap between the genders in terms of being never married is actually widening, too. And I think that's a sign of the times. It's 2019. Regardless of gender, you're able to go out and earn a living for yourself and save for great things in life like retirement.

And by the way, I'm also seeing some really good sides of this. Forget the tentative aspect for a second. I'm seeing no better example of people getting over this by opting to be parents without the need of having a spouse or a significant other. parents without the need of having a spouse or a significant other. So on one hand, I still see these social norms take place, and we work with our clients on that to say, hey, you know, it definitely would be awesome if you did find that special someone, but it's not necessary to live a really fulfilled life. Yeah, you know, it's interesting. I think, you know, you make a really great point in the post talking about how being single is not a free pass to ignore planning for the future. You know, I think, you know, if, you know, singles are oftentimes thought to be, you know, not having the expense of, like you said, of parenthood and things like that and having, you know, disposable income, as it were. But like you said, even in that situation, singles need to be cognizant of planning for the future. Absolutely. Nobody gets that pass. And, you know, again, the social construct of you can't really have this fulfilled life unless you do the stereotypical settling down with another person.

And yes, I understand in our DNA, you our DNA is this notion of needing to reproduce. I get that. But here we are in today's age, and the reality is you can have a life for yourself. And it requires the same type of planning and forward thinking that goes into planning for couples. Financial planning can get you there. Focusing on your goals and saving can get you there. I really want to get out of this framework of, well, I'm single. Nothing's really ever going to happen for me. Let me just take that superfluous vacation, that extra trip, that other experience. And that's coming at the cost of perhaps financial independence and not having to work someday. So I think the realities are, you know, they're there

for single people, just like they are for those who have coupled off. Well, you know, another thing that I took from your post, which I think is really interesting, and I think, you know, financial planning in general is very much, you know, look, it's very much a relationship between the planner and the client, whether that be an individual, whether that be a couple. And obviously, you know, relationship aspects of that are, you know, obviously come into play. And it sounds like this is something that you may have learned through experience and maybe through having a few of these conversations that might have been less than comfortable. Yeah. You got to navigate these very sensitive areas. And that goes for any good planner or advisor having real detailed and personal conversations with their clients. I think anyone can walk through the numbers and solve retirement scenarios or figure out

how much insurance someone needs or allocate a portfolio and so on. But I think the real skill set comes into navigating these inherently uncomfortable areas that are just part of life. And that includes, well, you might be single forever or, oh my gosh, I'm so sorry for your loss or your husband or wife is going to pass away and how to plan around these very, again, delicate and very emotional areas of financial planning. And this is something as a kind of representative of your Gen Y advisorship here. This is something that I'm just seeing come up more. I'm 34 now. I've been doing this since 19. I wasn't thinking about this when I was in my 20s. And now I see it as a legitimate

planning issue for many success. It has nothing to do with even success or how much money they're making or how much money they have saved. This is really just about, you know, thinking the right way about you, your goals and money. Yeah, I know. I think that's absolutely right. And I think, you know, there, you know, at the outset, I did talk about some of the differences. And I think, you know, a couple, obviously, some of the differences are when you have couples, some of those couples split some of the responsibility for their finances, both on the earning side and on the investing side. However, when you're single, you are responsible for 100% of not only the income, but also the investment side as well. Absolutely. It all really falls on your shoulders. And, and, you know, something, something I wrote about in the blog is, you know, if you do the planning and you put in the work

that's necessary to really have that solid financial foundation and the framework for achieving long-term goals as a single person, you're going to be that much more equipped to plug into a joint relationship when now you have to deal with personal finance, not just with yourself, but with your partner or significant other. So think of that as being proactive toward maybe the planning you'll inevitably do when you find that special someone. Yeah, no, being proactive, I think is important. That's just a great watchword for anybody, you know, involved in the financial planning process. Like you said, whether you be single or part of a couple, you know, the other kind of aspect that I thought of is that, you know,

I think that a lot of people today are, may not necessarily not be uncoupled, but they may be in a relationship where they are not married, but they may be cohabitating and sharing the expenses, maybe owning a house together, sharing some of those expenses. And like you said, you know, having your, you know, for lack of a better term, having your stuff together is, you know, is a pretty attractive feature in a potential partner. Absolutely. I wrote the piece to really not say, hey, it's marriage, it's significant. You know, we were very open with how it is we were phrasing togetherness. You know, it doesn't matter how it comes. You know, again, 2019, we're only going to evolve

more out of social constructs that maybe are more familiar to our parents and grandparents, I think that's a wonderful thing to evolve into. But if that's going to evolve, then the way that we approach personal finance has to evolve too. And I hope that this is some forward thinking that we can put out there to help other advisors, to help individuals think and plan for helping clients who very well could be planning to be single. No, I think that's exactly the reason why I wanted to have you on. Because I think it made some important points for everybody. For both potential clients and for advisors. And so from that perspective, I thank you for writing that.

And did you have any final thoughts before we, you know, before we finish up? Yeah. So I gave a disclosure in the post that, look, I haven't been single for a very, very long time. I don't plan on being single again, but I guess I want to give a hat tip to everybody out there who's been using the technology to find people. I think the thing I found most surprising is in talking to my friends before writing this is I was always under the impression that having access to the technology to find other people would be a huge plus. And ironically, what I've been finding out and learning more and more, it's actually been a headwind. It's maybe made things a little too easy or it hasn't allowed people to get to the deeper levels of relationships. I just thought

that was really interesting. I wouldn't know. I've never had any of those applications to use before. But again, interesting how as much as we're evolving here in terms of how we think about relationships and we plan finances around them, here's a case where technology might not be helping individuals do something like find that significant other. So unrelated, but kind of related. Well, Douglas, I appreciate your time and thanks for coming on, and we'll talk to you soon. Thanks so much for having me. Be well. Thanks.