The Confessionals - 105: Walking With The Dead

Episode Date: January 1, 2019

On Episode 105, Kristena joins us to share some of her incredible experiences. Throughout her life Kristena has faced many ghostly incidents, with her most impactful experience occurring on the famous haunted ghost ship, “The Queen Mary” - when a spirit actually left physical marks on her body! Along with her paranormal encounters, Kristena has endured frightening dreams, in which she experiences other people’s deaths, not only seeing their demise but feeling it through their perspective.Patreon: www.patreon.com/TheConfessionalsWebsite: www.theconfessionalspodcast.comEmail: [e-mail]: www.facebook.com/TheConfessionalsPodcastTwitter: @TConfessionalsTony's Twitter: @tony_merkelShow Intro INSTRUMENTAL: www.youtube.com/watch?v=kyub39AXxUwShow Intro FREE DOWNLOAD: https://bit.ly/2HxNcw3Outro Music: Emergent - Dead Letters

This was all circulating around the base that a giant had been killed, but no one was supposed to talk about it. I saw three long, bony fingers reach up underneath the door, curl up to grab it, and then disappear. When he came over to me, dude, he slithered over to me. And this giant comes out of the cave and they're all frozen. And he starts running and firing up this giant. With a giant move, he's got a spear in one hand, and he's running really fast. And spears, Dan, holds him up like this. Somebody else, shoot him in the face, shoot him in the face.

They basically decapitated. Purson, got spurson, got spurson when he got about... Something pulling at my leg. And I look over, and there are two small, gray entities pulling it. And they're literally, I'm getting pulled off the bed. I reached my hand into this bush. And I touch air. Couldn't breathe and I couldn't move because I know I'm seeing a monster.

Yep. Welcome to the show, everybody. You're listening to The Confessionals. I am your host, Tony Merkel. Thank you for being here. If you've had an encounter or story you'd like to share with me on the show, go ahead and shoot me an email. My email address is The Confessionalspodcast at gmail.com.

That's The Confessionalspodcast at gmail.com. Or go to the website, the confessionalspodcast.com. Hit the connection section and you can reach me that way as well. the way it works for me, just get a hold of me. Now let's get into the ArtBelt iTunes 5-star ratings and reviews. This is for anybody who goes to iTunes and leaves a 5-star rating and review. You get a shout-out on the following week's show. And this week's shout-outs is Jonesy 64, rail jockey 79, Casey Gonzo, T. Lowry 88, Jeff Rina, T. N. Volz Girl, 34, Melissa Rief, paranormal facts finders, and

fun with a heart emoji. Thank you very much for going to iTunes and leaving a five-star rating and review. It means a lot to me because it definitely helps the show rise in the charts and get above Sasquatch Chronicles in iTunes. I really do appreciate it, friends. Thank you very much. Now, let's move on to the Patreon shoutouts. This is for anybody who goes to patreon.com forward slash the confessions and signs up to become a patron to help support the show on a monthly basis. And this week's shoutouts is, I'm not sure how to pronounce this name, but the name is H-O-U-A last initial is Y. I think it's Vietnamese. I am sorry. I'm not sure how to pronounce that, but thank you very much for signing up to be a patron. And next up we have Tanya M, Boyd A, and

Alana E. Thank you very much for going to Patreon and signing up to be patrons. It really doesn't mean a lot to me. It helps support the show on that monthly basis. It really does help the show a lot. So thank you very much. Now, this week we have Christina coming on and Christina's going to be sharing a lot different experiences that she's had with ghosts where even on the queen mary she was touched by a ghost where it actually left marks on her shoulder but she's also going to be sharing these experiences that she's had with dreams where when she's dreaming she's actually dreaming about people's deaths and seeing it and feeling it through their eyes she's actually going through what they go through during their last moments here on earth and it's very very interesting so i really hope you guys

enjoy this show let's get to it all right tonight i have christina coming on with me How you doing, Christina? I'm good. How are you? Doing well. Doing well. So this is going to be take two. I messed up the first take here. But you've had some ghost encounters and stuff throughout your entire life leading up to a pretty intriguing one that you emailed me about. So why don't you just kind of start from the beginning of stuff? And when did this all start for you as far as experiencing these ghosts and stuff in your life? I would say it started right around four or five, where I would just randomly see things.

out of the corner of my eye, or I would just, it's that there's an old myth. Like if someone walked over your grave, you get a shiver. And I would get that every now and then by certain places. And I would do research, and it would end up something bad happened there. And then I would typically get a weird dream about it afterwards. Interesting. So the dreams came after the feelings that you had. Yeah, pretty much.

So my grandma had an old house, and it's in North County, St. Louis. And it started out as a shack, because I did research on it later. It started out as a shack, and then as the guy got money, he built onto it. And I'd always get weird feelings in the basement because it had one of those huge sunken tubs. Like you could fit like 50 people in it, and it had an old clothes shoot and things like that. And I've always gotten weird feelings down in the basement area, especially when I was younger. And that's where my mom stayed because we lived with her when I was little. So when I did the research on the house, it couldn't tell me one thing or the other of what happened. It just something happened. And then I've noticed as I got older, I would go past

familiar places within the area. And when we lived at St. Charles, it would happen the same way, where I would get this weird feeling and then I would get a weird dream about somebody dying. And it's not always a futuristic dream. It's mostly dreams of the past, like where I'm living through their eyes, their last moments of life. And it's always creaked me out and nobody knows what it is. My grandma even bought me across because she thought the demons were trying to get to me or something. So it's always been a weird experience for me.

After my grandfather died in 98, we were still living in that same house because we didn't move out until 2001. So from 98 to 2001, I would see shadow people. And I don't know too much about it because I've done research here and there on it and I could never find anything conclusive about what exactly they are. But ever since he passed, I would feel, it would feel like a familiar presence, like, you know, like an old family member had stopped by to visit, but I would see shadow people even during the day. and there was one particular instance where me and my mom were in the kitchen and she was cooking. And then all of a sudden a cup would fly from one end of the room to the other. Like someone had literally took their hand and knocked it across the room.

And then I would see a shadow person dart out of the room. And so after that, it stopped for a little bit. I'd say about a year or two. And then right when I started high school in 2005, I would start seeing me. shadow people again because I moved in with my grandma at that point. And it's always around my older family members is what I've noticed. I've always had that rare occurrence where I'd be by myself, you know, just going to the store or something and I would see something out of the corner of my eye and there would be nobody there.

It was just literally a wall. So that was freaky for me as well because it's like I know there was somebody there. I saw somebody go in that direction, but that's a wall. You can't walk through walls. And so my mom had always suggested that it was family members that had passed on that had followed me around, particularly my great-great-grandfather, which I was five when he passed away. I've never, I don't have an explanation for that at all. I don't know exactly how to explain it, but that's just what she told me, and I guess I just went with it. it because it seemed right because it wasn't like I felt something bad whenever I saw these things.

It was always something positive, like someone was watching over me. So I just kind of went with that theory. You know, it could be, you know, a random other good person up in heaven or whatever you believe in, but that's just how I took it and how I felt rolled with it to explain the unexplainable. Yeah. It was also about that time right after high school that the dreams started getting intense. And I was always like a big Titanic fan. I've always been a big ship fan like the old 1900s steamships and things like that

because my dad and uncle were in the Navy. So I had this natural fascination with nautical things. And so I would get these weird dreams. And it seems one in particular really has stuck with me. for a long time, and I cannot forget it for the life of me. It's these two men in a whirlpool, and they're being sucked under a ship. And then that's where it ends. And I had that dream for a month straight, and I would tell my mom about it,

and she's just like, no, no, it's just your brain, you know, because it just puts random things together from what you've seen. You probably just read something, and it's just reoccurring. well, when I turned 16, we decided to go cross-country for the Fourth of July and my birthday. And I really, really liked the Queen Mary at this point. Like I said before, I'm a huge ship fanatic. So they didn't tell me until we got to Long Beach, hey, by the way, we're going to spend an eye on the Queen Mary.

And of course, me, I'm tickled pink. So I did a little research on it when we got there in the first Fiat. hours before we did this paranormal tour later on. And one of the stories was is that the Queen Mary actually ran over one, I think it was a small gunboat, if I remember correctly. And these people got dragged under the ship. And once I realized that, the minute I was done reading it, I just kind of sat back and stared at the screen like, wow, that was my dream.

That's what happened. So it really, it didn't exactly scare me. I just, I had more of that fascination. I wanted to know more about the ship. And then my mom told me, hey, we're going to do this midnight tour, which by the way, after this experience, they don't do this kind of tour anymore. They do midnight tours, but not this particular one. And it seemed like they stopped after I had said something to one of the guides. Now, this tour is one of those, oh, we'll take you into the spots that are normally quote unquote,

inaccessible to the public, which it's like, okay, yeah, whatever, whatever you need to get publicity in. But I was fascinated because it was paranormal. I've always been into it because of my experiences. So we did it. And they took you through the different parts of the ship. One, there was quite a few different parts where people had passed away, which why the Queen Mary gets its famous, it's the most haunted hotel in the world because it's permanently

docked and they use it as a hotel and tourist trap type thing. One of them, now this story I didn't know until we got there, they took us through the boiler room and they told us a story about a man who had died during a fire drill and what they would do is they would play a game whenever they were doing tests or drills and they would jump in between the bulkheads, which were automatic and they would shut during these tests. but you had a certain amount of seconds to get through. Well, this man didn't make it. Their theory was he was trying to go back for a wrench and ended up getting stuck in the bulkhead.

He literally got crushed to death. But he didn't die in the door. It was only after they opened the bulkhead, and this was hours later, after them trying to figure out what was the best solution. He died hours later after they got him out of the door. and they gave him morphine. Once they did that, his body just completely shut down. I didn't know that story when I first walked in there.

So instantly, when we got through that particular door, I got that typical shiver. And I looked around because my first instinct is I feel that feeling there has to be something in here. So I looked around to see if I could see any shadow people, but I didn't really see anything. And of course, I guess it was just part of their flare they pulled out the dowsing rods and said,

hey, would you like to talk to this guy? And they passed it around the group. But when it got to me, they didn't move at all. But when they were passed to my mom, it would always point to me. Now, I'm kind of iffy on dowsing rods because there's a lot of people that say, oh, it's just your hand-making micro-movements,

doing what you want it to do. I don't know. It struck me as odd to me. But every time I would have the dowsing rods, it would be dead silent. They wouldn't move. But my mom would get them and it would turn to me quite frequently and you'd hear little popping noises in the back of the engine room,

which obviously they don't use and they haven't used since the 60s. So that was, it was like, okay, you know, that's kind of cool, you know. Maybe it's real. Who knows? So the tour goes on. And we start going through the other parts of the ship. They take you to the propeller room where they do a little back history, things like that. They take you to the second class swimming pool, which is now converted into a theater.

Another one, which I was really looking forward to, is the first class swimming pool, where there was a story of a little girl named Jackie who had actually drowned in that pool, and her ghost is said to have haunt that area, and ever since, she will not go away. one of the things that they did was they would take you into the changing rooms and they would put you in a stall and they would tell you to close your eyes and they turn out all the lights and they won't tell you why at first the minute they did that I would hear all the other people just kind of mumbling talking to each other and I would hear people like oh this is stupid I didn't hear anything do you see anything do you feel anything and of course me being me I try to tune this out and I I close my eyes and I focus. And I can hear people walking. And it's not like the people in our group in front of us and next to us who are sitting in these stalls. I could hear wet footprints.

Like someone just got out of a pool and they're heading towards that room. And at that point, after that was done, I walked up to our guide who was supposed to be a medium. And I said, hey, this is what I'm experiencing. Is this normal? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. that's fine, you know, it's a haunted ship, it's an old ship, things like this happened. Okay, I don't feel like you took me seriously, but okay. So we'll go on then. So one of the last places they take you is the bulkhead down in the boiler room,

where there was a man who was scalded to death by a broken steam pipe. And as they were telling me this story, I felt a burning sensation on my shoulder. And I was wearing spaghetti straps, and I thought maybe my mom had her hand on my shoulder, so I'd look, her hand's not there. And it's kind of a dark room, so I didn't see anything on my skin immediately. And I'm in the back of the group. We're backed up against a wall. And the only person next to me is the second medium assisting the group. And he was nowhere near me. He was about five feet away. So I knew it wasn't anybody touching me. So at first I thought, okay, maybe it's just me being paranoid. And we're in this room for about 20, 30 minutes as they're talking about the various different things that had happened. And the entire time, my shoulder

feels like it's on fire. So finally, I say something to my mom. I said, mom, we got to get out of here. Like, I'm in pain. And she's like, what do you mean? My shoulder hurts. It hurts really bad. feels like I'm being burned. Well, are you leaning against anything? No, I'm not. I'm just right here. So finally, they let us out of the room, and they kind of give us a break, and everyone else kind of wanders off.

It made my mom go to our own little corner, and she looks at my shoulder, and she said, did anybody put a hand on you? I said, no, why? And she's like, look. She took a picture, which, unfortunately, that was several laptops ago, so we don't have them. She took a picture and she showed me and it's a man's handprint and it almost looks like someone was on one side of me, like someone that you would hold your daughter. You know, just a gentle little handprint. It didn't look like it was like a forceful thing if that

makes sense. I know it's hard for me to describe, but it didn't seem like it was like a malicious handprint or anything. It was just like you hold somebody's shoulder. And it was, was a man's handprint because we compared mine and hers. And they were both, both of our hands were way smaller than this particular handprint. So, of course, again, with my mom this time, we go up to the medium and we said, hey, this just happened. We have proof that something just happened in that room. And then the guy finally opens up and says, well, you know, Disney did rent this place out a few

years ago and they've had several instances of actresses being slapped in the face by somebody in that room because for whatever reason, they used it as a dressing room. So there had already been documented evidence before we came that people would be touched in some way in that room, but it was always violent. I was the only one that didn't get hit or pinched or anything. It was just like the guy was, the dead guy, whoever it was. And I immediately, knew it was the guy who got boiled to death. It was almost like he was just amused and just standing next to me listening, like, you know, oh, you know, you hear this crap that they're spilling.

That's the feeling that I got. So that I probably should have been freaked out about, but I wasn't because I've always been into it. So I was like, wow, that's cool. I actually have an experience to go along with it and that other people have seen and I'm not crazy. So after that room, they took us to a few other side little rooms and did a little bit of information on it. And then they ended the tour, which was at 3 in the morning. Now, at the time, my stepfather and my youngest brother were still in the state room, and they were asleep because he was really young. He was only a couple of months old when we did this.

And me and my mom decided, we can't read English. Let's go in these places that says no personnel allowed. So we'd go and sneak into the other parts of the Queen Mary that you're not typically supposed to see that only certain amount of people are supposed to go. And we would take a ton of pictures. Now, at the time, one of the places that we went was the captain's cabin, which they had turned into a museum, which is pretty close to the bridge. Now, we didn't see anything with their own two eyes, but when my mom was back at the pictures, right outside the captain's cabin. captain's cabin, you could see the bottom half of a woman in a long skirt and it almost looks like she was in mid-twirl. And it was all white. So that was interesting. We went to the

wheelhouse and I was playing with the ship's wheel, which you're not supposed to because it's all roped off, but I don't read English because this is like my childhood dream to come see this ship. So of course I'm not going to read the signs. I'm going to go and do whatever I want. It's three in the morning who's going to stop us. The minute I touched the ship, and this is where my other weird thing had started to happen, after that experience of being touched, anything I touched in that ship, whether it be a wall or a chair, and I would get this weird feeling in my hands, and I would almost see like a flash of a memory of the last person that touched it. And I know this seems crazy, but that actually

happened for a long time after I was on that ship. So for a while, I would have to wear gloves. And of course, that's kind of embarrassing because people are, well, it's in the middle of summer. Why are you wearing gloves? Oh, you know, I just hurt my hands and it's really sensitive, touch things, whatever excuse I needed to to make them not ask questions. So ever since then, I still had the dreams. And then I gained this weird new ability, I guess you could call it, where I would touch something and I would get a flash through that person's eyes of who last touched it, what they were thinking, what they were doing.

That only lasted for about, I'd say three to five years because I was still in high school. So my mom always attributed it to an overactive imagination, which I knew it wasn't. So after a while, that particular thing died down, and I haven't had it since. And I'm 29 now, and this was when I was 16. The only other thing that I still experienced constantly is the shadow people, which they seem to follow me around no matter where I go. And I still get the weird dreams of living a past, person's life in the last few minutes of life. And it kind of works like when I touch something

with my hands where I would see the last moments through their eyes, what they were feeling, what they were doing, and what was around them at the time. It's like I would see a familiar place, but it would be rewound to like 50 or 100 years. Because I've had dreams where it was like early 1900 Chicago and I had this vision during my sleep of this woman in, you know, the typical petticoat and all the heavy clothes and she's walking down the street at night and she sees a man and then all of a sudden my dream ends. It's weird things like that that I've always, always had. other than that, since I've gotten older and now that I have my baby who just turned seven months a few days ago. Oh, congratulations.

Thank you. That seems to have died down. However, my dog did pass away in April from some type of aggressive cancer that it pops up one day. Like, this dog could be fine. And then the next day, they're on the ground. and it's like they're drunk. And that's how this particular cancer affects them. She couldn't move.

She couldn't eat. And I knew there was something seriously wrong when she wouldn't take a treat out of my hand because I'll be honest. We called her a marshmallow for a reason. This is a golden, not a golden, a German husky mix, the German Shepherd Husky mix. So she was a pretty big dog. She was, you know, about knee height, but she was stocky.

So we always called her a toasted marshmallow. After she had passed away, I would smell weird things. And I knew her scent because I had had her for about 10 years. I would be out in the mall or at the gas station waiting to get cigarettes or pump gas or whatever. And I would smell her fur. And I'd look around because, you know, after something like that happens, you expect to hear those things, those familiar noises, like the jingle of her, or things like that.

I would hear that for literally a month straight, where I would be out not even near my house. I would be at my mother's house across town, and I would hear that jingle. And I said, Mom, did you just do something? She's like, no, I've just been sitting here. Are you sure? Yeah, where are the dogs?

Well, my dogs are outside. Okay, that's weird. You know, can't really hear with the shut house and the dogs being on the other end of the yard, you can't really hear too well their jingle of their dog tags or the collar or anything. Because it literally sounded like she had just shook her fur, and it makes a familiar noise that I'm used to.

I don't know if that may be hallucinating because I was so distraught, but I still kind of experienced those things from time to time where I would feel something brush up against my leg, and there's nothing there. And that's something that she used to do because she liked being pet on her butt. So she would come up, brush against my leg, and then lean on it. And every now and then that still happens. It's like she hasn't moved on yet, that she's still kind of worried about me.

And that's always the feeling that I get whenever that particular thing happens. So I don't know if maybe I'm just a weird magnet for random activity, but it always seems like it's something that has been a personal connection for me, something that was a part of my life for a long time, and that's where most of the energy and stuff is focused around. It's been a long time since I've seen an orb. I was about 10 when that stopped, but I would still see things. I would still smell things that weren't there.

I would still feel things that weren't there. and it all seemed to heighten after I went to the Queen Mary. It's like that guy touching me opened up a whole new world to me. Like something just clicked and I was immediately more sensitive to it. But in the recent months, I haven't had anything like that. It seems like that stopped about a month ago, which I can't explain. It just randomly starts and stops. I'll see something for a while for most of my life in this case, and then all of a sudden

it'll stop for a while. So I might get more experiences as I get older, but you never know, because I've also heard that some people who are very sensitive to the paranormal, sometimes they lose that ability. If it's not practiced a certain way or if something just doesn't happen for a long time, they kind of lose that ability. but that's just from what I've read. And of course, not everything on the internet is true. But that was one of my main reasons why I wanted to share my story because the dreams especially is a bizarre situation.

And I've asked plenty of people who are acclaimed mediums or they're clairvoyant or they're really, really attuned to this and they have experience. I've had them hang up on me because they don't know what to do. They don't know what answer to give me. They'll just tell me, oh, well, maybe it was something you ate. Well, maybe you just had too much sugar and you were hallucinating. So nobody has really taken me seriously about that. But as far as the other things go, like seeing shadow people,

that tends to be a common thing that certain people do see. So they would address that, but they wouldn't address my dreams. and I would be instantly labeled as crazy. No more conversation, just click, done. So I was kind of hoping that you would have some insight for me about that or maybe somebody that's listening could point me in a direction of how to understand this because as far as I know, I'm the only person that has ever experienced this. I haven't really gone out a whole lot because of the baby in the recent months.

so I haven't been able to really talk to anybody in a year, you know, outside sources. But my mom is clairvoyant where she won't see things while she's awake. She'll see things when she's sleeping. She'll get the futuristic dreams of things that will happen. I always get the ones that are in the past and it's always violent and it's always somebody dying, whether it be them drowning or them being murdered of some sort. and I have to tell you that is extremely irritating. I'm sure.

Because some of these dreams I was able to like pinpoint a name of some sort and research it and it would be something like a local crime had happened or a local tragedy had happened. But for the most part, a lot of these people I don't know who they are. I don't know what the situation was or how. even to go about it to research. I can just tell the time period, at least a general time period, of what they see around them or if they're in a house or outside, and what the people they're interacting with are wearing. And a lot of it, I have to say, a lot of my dreams were like, I'd say Victorian times.

Like early 1800s can never tell what city it is, can never tell an exact year. but that's always the feeling that I've got whenever I get these dreams. So these dreams then because they're so far back in time, that's probably the best way to tell that you're not seeing something that hasn't happened yet, but it had happened already in the past because of the way people were dressed. Am I correctly in saying that? Yeah. That's literally the only way I'm able to tell a general time period because I'm also a history buff because of all of this.

I mean, when you get these dreams for so long about things in the past, not just like 20 years, but like hundreds of years. Because I've gotten one from medieval times. And the only reason why I knew that, it was because there were, like, shacks. And it's not like an aboriginal shack. It's like someone who lives in the countryside that's a pig farmer for a living. It's weird. Yeah. Well, you know, it's different. It's different. And I think that there's a lot of people that are experiencing things similar to you, maybe not with the dreams per se, but just in the fact that of all the different things that you've experienced, I do think that people who have a tendency, there's something different about some people, I think. This is my own personal opinion. I have no science to back this up. But I do think that there, because I tend to hear people say, I had this happen to me.

and then this happened to me and then this happened to me and then this happened to me. It's rare that I had somebody come forward and say I saw a ghost when I was seven years old and that's it. Now that does happen, but a lot of times people that come forward, they say, this is a recurring thing.

This is something that always happens. But at the same time, there's people that go through their whole lives not believing in ghosts because they've never seen a ghost. And so I think there's something that there's something about you that's different than certain other people that allows you to see these things to be triggered by them or whatever. I mean, when you have these dreams, is it something that like that you're touching that spurn, that spawns that dream to come to you

that day or that night? Or is this something that just completely random? You haven't even touched anything with history or anything like that. It's just bang. It's there. It's kind of 50-50 because As you know in St. Louis, I don't know how well-known it is outside of St. Louis, but we have the Lent Mansion and a Lint brewery. When I went down there, because I'm also fascinated by their history as well, and I would touch random things in their house that was supposedly original, I didn't get any dreams. I didn't get anything of them dying or committed suicide or anything like that. So it's kind of 50-50. It just really depends on what it is, I guess. like if it has a violent enough past for me to be triggered. Okay.

I hear people talk about this. And, you know, if you were to look this up on the internet or something, it's probably going to say that it's not real or it's science fiction or something like that. But it sounds like you're an empath. Like you have this ability to tap into other people's feelings. And unfortunately, it's feelings of people who are already passed. but because one of the things that empaths typically have is dreams. That's one of the things that they go through is the dreams of, you know,

having these different visions and things like that. I don't know a ton about that per se other than that that's what it sounds like to me. And it sounds like it's something that your mom is as well. I wonder if this is something that can be passed on through generation. Like, so your mom, if she passed it on to you and if you passed it on to your, did you say you had a daughter or a son? No, I have a daughter. A daughter. So I wonder, I wonder if it's something that gets passed on through generations.

Did your mom ever say anything about her mom having this ability? My grandmother used to, but ever since she started going to an agnostic church about five years ago. And ever since she's been going, she will not talk about it at all. So I don't know if she had an extreme experience or something happened or if she just decided, okay, this is my new religion now. I'm just not going to believe in anything but the Bible, which it's like, okay, you know, I totally support, you know, whatever you want to do, but I know you're having these experiences and you won't talk to me about it.

And it's really irritating. But honestly, I really hope that this doesn't pass on to my daughter because when I was little, when I was her age, my grandmother and my mom would say that I would experience what was similar to like baby nightmares where I would just cry in my sleep or I would be extremely uncomfortable and I've noticed she started doing that as well. So every time she has a baby nightmare, I really hope it's not that that she's having these kinds of dreams, even though she can't understand it. I would imagine that it would still be something terrifying for her to experience something and not being able to like vocalize it or really

understand what she's seeing. Yeah. Hopefully it doesn't get passed on to her. If it does, it sounds like you're, you're very open to discussing things, which is going to be helpful for her if it does happen because she'll have somebody that she can turn to talk to and, you know, you're not going to pretend it doesn't happen. You're going to, you know, attack it head on and let Oh, right. So it's just one of this thing that I tell you, it's different. And, you know, obviously you know that because you've been hung up on quite a few times. But I don't, I wouldn't say that it's impossible and I definitely believe what you're saying to me.

I'm not sure how it all works. I would have to definitely, you know, seek some other people's opinions on that. and stuff, you know, to try to figure this out, but I'm sure you have done that as well. Have you done any, like, trying to research this online and stuff and reading any forums to see if anybody else has this ability and stuff? Or has it just been left to trying to talk to somebody in person and them not believing you? I've tried both. And in both situations, it's kind of the same, where I would do a ton of research on my own without posting anything to anybody. And there would be absolutely zero on it at all about the subject.

just more people having dreams of the future. So I had always felt like I was alone in that. So that's when I started like posting the forums and then talking to people in person or on the phone and I get the same response. Nothing. Nobody knows what this is. Nobody's heard of it before. They'd get really freaked out about it and then hang up on me or just not reply.

I don't understand why people get freaked out about it. That to me, it doesn't, maybe it's because I talk to so many people with odd stories like this to begin with, but it doesn't freak me out. It doesn't make me feel like I need to run away from you or anything like that. It's, it's, I find it very interesting and, uh, frustrating for you to have to go through it, not understanding what's going on. Uh, have you and your mom ever had the similar experiences at the same time? Like, has your mom had a dream and you had a dream? around the same time? No, it always seems to be random. And I don't even think she gets those kinds of dreams anymore because she hasn't talked about it in a long time. And she's pretty open with me. She had me when she was 16,

so she's always been very open-minded with me from a very young age. And while her and I don't really exactly get along all the time, we still talk, and especially about, like, paranormal things, but she hasn't mentioned anything in a long time, I'd say, like the past few years. So I even question if she still gets those dreams. Hmm.

Is this something, because I know you said that, what did you say, the past a few months, it really hasn't, nothing has happened around you, right? Correct. Is this something that was so consistent that a few months that goes by with no activity is a rarity? I would say so, because I went from having dreams like that every single night to nothing. and it would just be the typical dreams like, you know, what you did that day or just like a random fantasy, like you and your family at the park. Just not, I wouldn't call them weird, just typical dreams that you would experience, which I was happy about. But at the same time, I would ask myself what's going on because this is what I'm used to.

I'm used to seeing death and violence every single night and I've gotten used to it. And that's kind of sad to say. But when you're used to something like that every single day and you're just kind of like, oh, I wonder what kind of dream I'm going to have tonight. And it doesn't happen. It starts, I started questioning it after a week. But I kind of wonder if it's because I had the baby and I've been very hands-on and focused with her.

And that's why I don't have them anymore is because I have some type of distraction from it. but that's just a theory. That's interesting, a distracted mind easing the dreams. I wonder, I really would wonder, I would like to find out, I should say, you know, if your mom, if there's something going on in her life

that's distracting her from these dreams or if she's ever sensed a similar pattern, like when you were born, did it stop for her? Have you ever talked to her about that? Has, did she ever experience, experience like it going away when you were a baby because she was distracted? She's never mentioned anything like that, that it would have like a temporary break type thing.

It's just something that always happened to her. Now, recently she has been very distracted in that sense. She's been more politically active and more involved with the community and doing dog rescue and things like that. So she does plenty of things throughout the day to keep her busy because she's also a at home mom. My youngest brother is type 1 diabetic and she homeschooled him as well. So I guess in my mind, my theory would apply to her is she has a son with a very serious disease. And that takes up most of her time is making sure that he's okay because they're up constantly throughout

the night because his blood sugar, even though he's on a pump, he has a reader that will tell them if he's too low or too high. And of course, he's 13, 14 years old. He likes to get up in the middle night and snack like most teenagers do, and he's not always aware of how much he's eating. So I've always kind of wondered if that was something that would be distracting her, because like I said, she hasn't mentioned anything for a long time. It's not something that she would hide from me or keep from me. It's very interesting. It's very interesting. The idea of being distracted, stopping these things from happening. I really hope it doesn't get passed on to your daughter.

If it does, I'd have so many questions. I'd have so many questions because, you know, and maybe you could do this. I don't know. I hate to make it sound like you're experimenting on your daughter. But if it happens to your daughter, what I would do is I would try to execute on that theory. and I would get your daughter involved in things to keep her distracted, whether it's sports, dance,

whatever it is, art, and try to find what makes her tick and let her dive deep into it, you know, and see if that helps to secide these dreams. Or you could do it with yourself as well. I mean, if it happens again, if it starts kicking up again as you get more into the routine of being a mom and you got, you know, the baby's seven months old right now. I have a seven-month-old right now myself. So, like, it's, it's hectic right now. But as the baby gets older and stuff,

and you have that more of a routine where it's like, you know, the kid understands what you're saying. You say go to bed, the kid goes to bed. If that time period comes and your dreams start kicking up again and stuff, I'd be interested to see if you could find something to distract yourself again to see if that actually makes it stop. Because if it actually makes it stop, then well then it just leaves a lot of questions because that now it's like okay so is there something

going on in our minds that if left uh if if if our minds are left to themselves go in a certain direction i don't know if that makes sense of what i just said but like by distracting your mind it doesn't allow your mind to go into a certain direction that it's naturally inclined to go that gives you these experiences you know i mean right you Yeah, I totally understand that. And that's kind of what I was wondering, if there's just something awakened in my mind, that if I don't have anything else to focus on, it immediately goes to that instantly, and then I start having the dreams and then the feelings again.

So I hope they don't come back, but, you know, the mind is so confusing and it's so complex. Like, yeah, we have studies done, and people understand it better than they did 20 years ago. but there are still new things that we are finding out every day and not just about the mind, but the human body. So it could just be a once-in-a-lifetime thing where if you are distracted enough, it just goes away permanently because you're not, I guess, in a sense, using that ability, which in my sense it would be subconscious. I'm not purposely doing it.

I don't wish to see those dreams. It just happens. but with, you know, my boyfriend being a trucker and then me being a stay-at-home mom, I have a lot of different things to worry about and focus on throughout the day. So my mind just, I guess, generally stays away from that because there are other things that are more important. Right. You know, have you looked into the idea of being an empath, empath? I can't ever say that word.

Have you ever looked into that, though, being an empath? Yes, yes, I have. And I've had several of my friends tell me that I am one. And I've done the research on my own and I could probably 100% say that I am. I'm very attuned to especially other people that are close to me. I used to freak people out all the time when I was working at a gas station that I helped co-manage. I would have a regular customer come in and I could just tell them the look on their face that they had a bad day. And I said, hey, something happened today. They're like, well, yeah, of course. How could you tell? I'm like, oh, the look on your face. Well, yeah, yeah, this and this and this happened. I'm like, you had a phone call from your wife today, didn't you?

Dang. How did you know? I don't know. I just know. And it's the same with like the radio. I could be singing a song and I get in the car, turn on the radio. It's at the exact same spot, the exact same lyrics of what I was singing, and it would just continue on.

flawlessly. So I've always known. It sealed the deal for me when I was about 23 and I had neighbors that were the way they were raised, her and her girlfriend, the girl that I would talk to a lot, her mom was from Haiti, I believe, is what she told me, and they practiced voodoo. I forgot what part of it exactly, because I know there are different sex in each different types of religion and things like that. But she definitely told me that I am an impasse and I have a tabbit of an energy vampire in me. Do you know what that is? Basically sucking the energy out of other people. Yes.

Because I've also had people tell me after a while of hanging out with me for so many hours that they're just tired. They want to go home. They don't want to do this anymore. And it's not been anything rude. It's just they just think they had a long. day to which I kind of have to like hide a smile and go, yep, yeah, that's fine. You can go home. We'll just talk tomorrow because you can't really explain that to somebody who's closed-minded and not all of them are, not all of my friends are, but and they're used to what I've

gone through and they've heard my stories and they'll accept it because it's not them. It's somebody, it's happening to somebody different. So to them, it's just in the back of their mind, they're like, oh yeah, right. It's probably just, you know, you ate too much sugar before you went to bed. So I just kind of have to keep my mouth closed and not argue with him. Like, no, it's just really me. I'm sorry. I can't control that.

Has your boyfriend ever suggested that he gets strained when he's around you for a while? He's kind of the same way as I am. So I think we feed off of each other in that sense. So neither one of us really get tired exactly. it's just we get worn out. It's just like, eh, we were going to go do something today, but let's just have a lazy day and get stuff done at the house. But it hasn't been anything too extreme where he's just like,

I need to go to bed because I also have to factor in that he's a trucker. He's only home on the weekends. And you are a trucker as well. Right. So you understand the daily stresses that he goes through, you know, fighting with the shippers. And, well, you only have one. one pilot to unload. Why are you taking five hours? Nobody else here. Yes. So that's where I think

most of his tiredness comes from. It's very rare that he gets tired just from being around me or the baby or something like that because I'm pretty sure she'll be an impath as well because he's an impap and he's an energy vampire. So when you have two parents that are like that, it's like, I'm sorry, child, you're doomed. You're going to have this stuff. Wow. Well, I guess at least you're preparing for that now. So when it happens, you can have a game plan in place on how to help her through it as best you can. It's an interesting thing. It's a very interesting thing.

You know, I'm talking to a vampire right now. But, no, it's, I feel bad for you. I feel bad for you because this is something that obviously you don't want to have. I mean, it definitely creates unrest. rest in your life. And earlier you said about how, I forget how you said it, but basically you referred to how you're envious of your mom for having the type that she has. Is it because you feel like you'd be able to help somebody before it actually happens or what? Well, it's partly that because I am definitely one of those people where if somebody needs help, I'm not going to walk on

like it seems like most of the public does these days where if somebody needs help, like a homeless man sitting outside and it's hot outside. I'll stop and give them some water. I'll definitely help somebody. So I would love to have those kinds of dreams so that like if I just happen to meet that particular person, be like, hey, don't get in your car today. You're going to have a car accident. But I'm mostly jealous because it's not violent. It's what, like I said, I'm used to it now. And no person should really be used to seeing violence and murder and suicide. Nobody should really be okay with that. And just that's just the part of daily life thing. So that's where my jealousy comes from is that most of hers are positive. It's very

rare that she had a negative dream about the future that it was going to affect somebody in a negative way. So yeah, if I had that, that would be a lot better. Well, you know what? When you have these experiences, when it happens, how often is it a murder or something like that? Is it or is it just somebody, sometimes is it somebody just laying in their deathbed just passing away peacefully? Out of seven days, I would say five of them would be a dream about murder. It's very rare for me to have had a dream that someone had just peacefully died in their sleep or they're in their deathbed surrounded by family, which is, I've had a few of those, but not as many as someone committing suicide, like jumping off a bridge or jumping off the side of a

boat or someone getting shot or stabbed or even strangled, which I've had one of those dreams as well, which is not very pleasant because I was with that person until they took their last breath. And I have to say that that is terrifying. So you feel, I'm sorry, you actually feel what they feel? Yes. It's like I am that person. Everything that they experience in their last few moments I experience. I see. I feel. Because there have been plenty of times where I would wake up in a cold sweat, just like hyperventilating because it's just, it's just that intense. And it's disorientating because I would wake up and then look around and it would take me, I'd say about 10 minutes before I would realize where I am. It's like, okay, I'm in my own time period. I'm at home.

It's 3 in the morning. God damn, I need to. go back to sleep. Yeah. Have you ever thought about, and maybe you have, maybe you've even tried it, but seeing people being murdered through their eyes or especially that, especially the murder aspect of things, is there any way that you could try to learn history and maybe find out who these people were? Is it like, have you ever thought maybe you could solve a murder this way?

Yes. But typically when, even when a clairvoyant person, I mean, and everybody's heard of it, when they go to the police like, hey, I know where this little boy is, they kind of turn you away. So in some aspect, if I had a more futuristic dream that was like an unsolved murder in the past 10, 15 years, I could probably help somebody. but it's always extreme past, like 100 years, maybe sometimes 50 years, but it's always, like, there's no point in opening the case. It's so old. And it's very rare that I get a ton of information through that dream. There have been a handful of dreams, or I would hear a name, or I would see a sign on the street, like a cross street or something, or a name of a building, or a name of a building, or something like that to where I could pinpoint it,

to which those dreams I do. I try my best to pinpoint those down. And it's always something small. It's not something that made the newspapers back then that would make the TV today. It's always, oh, well, this happened today. Next time, you know, it's just, it's always small-time things. Huh.

This is just, it's very fascinating. I just think that this is probably something, mean, it's been happening your whole life, right? Yep. So chances are this is probably going to be something that's still going to be happening for at least a little bit longer because you knew, you knew your mom when she was having these experiences. So you were at least old enough to comprehend what she was experiencing.

So chances are you're probably going to still experience it from here on out as your daughter gets older. I do wonder if there's something when it comes to the generational aspect of the things, if your mom has not been experiencing anymore, if it's like a, there's a transition process from one generation to another. Like it's being transitioned from your mom to you. Once that's complete,

it gets transitioned from you to the next generation. I know it sounds, I don't know, science fiction, I guess, but I don't know. I don't know, you know. It's just with this particular, like most people can attribute

to you seeing the future in your dreams, as clairvoyant. There's a lot of information about that and there's theories about it. But when it comes to my situation where my mom and my grandmother both had these futuristic dreams, I'm kind of the black sheep where I'm having dreams about murder and death. And it does seem to be that way, where as each new generation pops up, they tend to not have that ability anymore. And I think that that would be a good theory to go with what you suggested that it transitions. So I'm kind of wondering when my daughter gets old enough to actually experience and understand what's going on if that's going to just shut down for me, which I'll be thankful for. But at the same time, then I have to help her out and help make sure that it doesn't affect her psyche in a negative way.

because I do have depression and anxiety, not just from situations that have happened to me in my life during waking life, but just having those dreams for so long, you do get depressed and you do get upset and you do get anxious because you never know what you're going to have that night. You never know what's going to happen. Am I going to dream? Am I not going to? It's not exactly nerve-wracking, but it's just it doesn't. give you that anxious feelings. My hope is that by the time she's able to understand what she's experiencing, if she does have that or if it's just she's just having baby nightmares and that's just the thing that all babies go through. But if it is an actual thing that I'm experiencing that she has now, I'm hoping by the time she's able to understand it that there will be more information or that I had talked to somebody beforehand, so I know what to tell her other than, I don't know, kiddo. I've had it too. Guess we're going to be in this boat

together type thing. I really, really hope that I have something to tell her. Yeah. Well, you know what? You're being proactive about it right now and you're asking people and you're, you know, sticking your neck on the line, quote unquote, to try to get some answers. And I highly suggest you to continue doing that. As you're talking and stuff, I'm doing some Googling myself trying to find out some answers for you, just because it is different. You know, it's different than clairvoyant. I mean, as far as I understand how it is, I mean, clearvoin is for things to come in the future, not necessarily for the past. And I don't really know what the terminology. There's got to be terminology for it. I just don't know what it is for somebody like you who

actually has these dreams of things that happened in the past. It's just, it's very, I don't know, it's different. It's absolutely different. It's definitely one of those things that I have found little to no research on or people aren't willing to talk about. So for a while, I did feel like, well, do I have something that people know about and that it's forbidden to talk about because something might happen, like a vortex? I don't know. That's a little dramatic, but it's just, that's just the failing that I get. It's like some of the people that I talk to, it feels like they know something, but they don't want to talk about it. They don't want to give me the information that I need. They just instantly shut down and then that's it. And then I don't hear anything else.

Yeah, that's a shame. That's a shame. I wish I had more answers for you. I feel like I'm following right in line with everybody else other than the fact that I'm not shutting you down. I don't, I have no interest in doing that. But there's definitely there's definitely, got to be answers out there. And I'm very, very intrigued myself. And I want to start kind of digging a little bit on this myself for you. If I come across anything, I'll definitely, you know, send it your way and stuff. But this is, this is fascinating to me. Very, very fascinating. You know, before we get out of here and stuff, as far as your daughter goes and everything like that, deep down inside, I mean, in your heart of hearts, do you feel like this is something that's

a transition to her. I know we kicked it around a little bit this show and stuff, but is this something that deep down inside, you really do feel like that, or do you feel like there's a good chance that she may not get it and you're just overreacting? Honestly, with the way my family history is gone, and it seems to be the only passed through to the females. I have a very strong suspicion that she probably will inherit this gift or curse, this thing that I have that is different from the rest of us. But, you know, it's definitely that feeling like I know she's for sure going to end up with this. I just hope it's more the clairvoyant side than the past.

Yeah, absolutely. Maybe she could have just visions of future flowers that are going to be blossoming in the field next to the house next year. That'd be nice. That'd be beautiful. I really wish you guys the best and stuff. and please, please, please, keep in touch with me because I'm very interested in hearing how this all unfolds for you. So, but I'll tell you what, thank you very much for coming on the show and sharing with us because this is very fascinating to me.

Not a problem. It's one of those oddball things and it's not something that I've really heard on your podcast previously. So I was like, oh, I'll just chime in and see what happens. No, absolutely. I thank you for that because my show, I do not want to box into any categories. I want to have anything and everything on my show. So I really appreciate you reaching out to me. Not a problem. All right, Christina. Take care. Well, that's the show, everybody.

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