The Confessionals - 107: Ex-Catholic Nun Whistleblower Keri Burnor (PART 1)

Episode Date: January 15, 2019

On today’s two-part show (Episodes 107 and 108), we speak with Keri Burnor! She is an ex-Catholic nun who went through hell after she was sexually assaulted by a priest. After her attempts to try resolving the issue without the court system failed, she filed a lawsuit that went any way but hers. After taking on the Catholic Church, Keri became a marked woman as her phones were tapped, her name was dragged through the mud, and she even had nano tech put into her body during a surgery. The more Keri fought, the more secrets she uncovered, getting too close to the truth for her own good. Now, she lives to tell her amazing story about how she was almost taken out by the highest levels of the Catholic Church and their deep state operatives.Patreon: www.patreon.com/TheConfessionalsWebsite: www.theconfessionalspodcast.comEmail: [e-mail]: www.facebook.com/TheConfessionalsPodcastTwitter: @TConfessionalsTony's Twitter: @tony_merkelShow Intro INSTRUMENTAL: www.youtube.com/watch?v=kyub39AXxUwShow Intro FREE DOWNLOAD: https://bit.ly/2HxNcw3KERI BURNOR WEBSITE: www.clergyvictim.com/history.htmlKERI BURNOR BOOK “DIVINE CHALLENGE” DOWNLOAD: CLICK HERE(AVAILABLE A LIMITED TIME FOR FREE!!!)

This was all circulating around the base that a giant had been killed, but no one was supposed to talk about it. I saw three long, bony fingers reach up underneath the door, curl up to grab it, and then disappear. When he came over to me, dude, he slithered over to me. And this giant comes out of the cave and they're all frozen. And he starts running and firing at this giant. With a giant move, he's got a spear in one hand and he's running really fast and spears, Dan, holds him up like this. Somebody else, shoot him in the face, shoot him in the face, they basically decapitated.

I feel something pulling at my leg. And I look over and there are two small gray entities. And they're literally, I'm getting pulled off the bed. I reached my hand into this bush and I touch air. Couldn't breathe and it couldn't move. and I couldn't move because I know I'm seeing a monster. Yep. Welcome to the show, everybody.

You're listening to The Confessionals. I am your host, Tony Merkel. Thank you for being here. If you've had an encounter or a story you'd like to share with me on the show, go ahead and shoot me an email. My email address is The Confessionals Podcast at gmail.com. That's The Confessionalspodcast at gmail.com. Or go to the website, the confessionalspodcast.com. Hit the connection section, and you can reach me that way as well.

Either way it works for me, just get a hold of me. Now let's get into this week's Art Bell iTunes 5-star ratings and reviews. If you go to iTunes, leave a 5-star rating and review. You get a shout-out on the following week's show. And this week's shout-outs is Dat Boy, Bear Mom 48, Fucky 500, Tieran Lou, Sue Set Mom, B. Sen-Hen, Lumberzac 88, Kevin, the All-Time Great, Sabrina Miller 36, No, No, No Trash. R.B. Cop.

360 Willys. Russell the Sasquatch. Rosie-ish. Simmer 92. Carter J. Mine. G. Brash. Bear and the Ball. Mooch from Down Under.

And J.P.D. 6261. Thanks for going to iTunes and leave that five-star rating and review. It helps to show out a lot on iTunes. You know that by now. And thank you for doing that. Now, moving on here, we got the Patreon. Shoutout to anybody who goes to patreon. dot com forward slash the confessions and signs up to become a patron gets a shoutout on following week's show

and this week's shoutouts is francisco r keenan g eric christin m and pjc thanks for going to patria dot com forward slash the confessionals and signing up to become a patron it means a lot to me that you're willing to help support the show on a monthly basis now this week's show we have carrie berner coming on and carrie berner is an ex-catholic nun who is sexually assaulted by a priest during the legal proceedings of pursuing her assault her. She found a lot of different things out about the Catholic organization that she was a part of that she wishes she never knew. Her phones have been tapped. She has been chased. Her life has been threatened. She has been followed 24-7. She has even had nanotech put into her body after a surgery, or I should say during a surgery. Her story is one that's going to leave your jaw on the floor, and I thought it very important to have her on the show to share her story in completion.

Her story is well documented throughout the newspapers and online. All you have to do is search for it. It is there. So I wanted to share her story with you guys to let you know that not everything is always as it seems. We're going to do today's show in two parts. The first part is dropping now and the second part is dropping now. But it is a three-hour interview and I thought it would be best to split it into two parts so you can consume it a little bit easier.

So let's get into part one of the interview right now. All right, today we have a special guest coming on. This is somebody that I actually reached out to. I heard about her story a little while ago, and I definitely wanted to bring her on the show. Sister Kerry Burner, how are you? I'm excellent. Thank you so much for having me. It's great to have you.

It's great to have you. And, you know, your story is one that kind of grabbed me. My audience knows I drive tractor trailer for a living and I do this on the side. And I'm driving the truck one day and I come across a podcast that somebody was interviewing you on. And I forget what it was about it, but the title grabbed me. I hit play. And it was about almost like, I think it was almost a two-hour podcast. And it just grabbed me.

Every part of it grabbed me. And I was thinking, I really have to reach out to her and have her on the show because I believe that your story and the things that happened to you in your life and the message that you have for other people is very important for just the awareness of how deep evil goes in our world, not just the country, not just the political system. and all that stuff. But just in general, this world is filled with evil, and it goes deeper than many people want to acknowledge. And so I'm very thankful for having you on the show today. Before we get into building your story, and I would like for you to kind of start from the

beginning of when you were a child and how you got involved in being involved in the Catholic Church. I think it's very unique. But I would like for you to kind of share with us a little bit about this new book that you're coming out with and even your DVD series. Okay, excellent. Thank you. The book actually is my story from my childhood all the way up to the year of 2008. What it does is it covers the case I was involved with. It's called Divine Challenge, the clergy sex abuse of a hermit nun and its 15-year cover-up by a monastery and church officials. And if you look on YouTube, I actually explain a little more about the book. But before I go ahead and order tons of copies, I just need to get a feel for how many people are going to be interested in it. So by the 22nd of this month, if you can shoot us an email, it's CTWH at protonmail.c. And let us know, this book is $100. Basically, it's a hardcover. And it's very good quality paper.

And it's meant to last a good long time. And it has a lot of the legal documents. So we couldn't just shrink it down and make it really small and so forth. This had to be higher quality. So for those who are interested, shoot us an email. CTWH at protonmail. dot C-H, if you have any funny issues with that, you can also email us at Targeted 2-Free at ProtonMail, T-A-R-G-E-T-E-E-T-E-E-E-A-R-T-Mail.com. And then we'll shoot you an email

on the 22nd of this month, and we will have a link to where you can purchase the book at that time. This is just gauging me to help me understand how many I need to purchase. and thank you for that. And the other thing is there is a DVD that I just came out with. It's called My Story from Targeted to Free. Love is the Answer. And basically what this does is it covers, it says here, part one of two. You will learn how I gather the facts, assess what was happening, how I shielded myself both physically and spiritually.

You'll hear actual testimonies from my team and will have my toolbox of remedies that are used to empower myself to raise my vibration and to comfort myself in the, fact gathering stage. This is a faith-based, yet I accommodate a universal audience. So basically, this is just a DVD series because there's a lot of people out there who have understood and come to know that they've become targeted individuals. And I'm actually free of that. We're going to get into that in this program, in this podcast. But basically, I want you all to know that there's hope. And just like you were saying, Tony, in the beginning, is that we've got a lot of sin, you know, burgeoning forth. And yet in the scripture, there's something that gives me a lot of comfort here that the more the sin abounds, the more the grace abounds. And so with this, there's a remedy. And the wheat and the

weed grows together at the same time. And in the end, that's when God's going to pluck out the bed and, you know, clean it all up and so forth. But in the meantime, we actually have a part to play in that. So now going back into the early part of, oh, my website too, I forgot, is www. victim.com transforming victims into victors. It's called Christo Wall Hermitages. And there's plenty of documentations I'll be referring to in this podcast relating to what's posted there for those who want to get more involved in my story in terms of legal documents and so forth. So thank you for that introduction. So, okay, so I'm going to basically go into a little bit. We were talking a little bit before about how it was kind of cute.

You, how you mentioned that, you know, I don't know that I would bribe my family or so forth in order to get to be able to pray a half an hour before the bus comes. And I said, well, I don't know if I agree with that. I believe that you would bribe your brothers and sisters so you can meet the girl of your dreams, okay? And the cute part is in my case, the guy of my dreams, you know, is Christ himself. And so there really isn't much difference between me and a bunch of other people out there. it's just that my passion and my zeal is fixed upon a being who is Christ and I know he's God. And so there's really not much of a difference there. It's love.

It's love. So he loved me first and then I pursued him. So now basically what happened was I grew up in a Protestant sentiment family, basically meaning that we weren't practicing anything. we on occasion maybe a couple times a year for Easter or Christmas, our great aunt would come by, Auntie Mona. And oh, by the way, the book is for free up until the 18th of January by way of PDF download. What we're doing, it's called Divine Challenge. You can go to clergyvictim.com and you can download that for free up until the 18th.

It's been available for the past two and a half years, but what we're doing is we're making that available through Kindle and other platform so it's going to be easier for people to get it. So that's the details of this story. But basically, my Auntie Mona would pick us up for a couple times a year and we would go out to churches. And it was comical because I didn't feel any connection whatsoever. And I actually, you know, in my heart, I was like, these people are crazy.

You know, some of them were taking books, you know, like the Bible. And at the altar call and I was only like maybe. eight years old, maybe nine. And one guy, it was just so comical, he was taking his Bible and on the way down to this thing, they call the altar call, where the minister calls the person down to make a confession or a proclamation or declaration and belief in Christ, repenting of their sins and so forth. When that person was leaving, descending, you know, in order to get to this podium or this area where the altar was, he was. He was. smashing his head with a Bible. Okay, whatever this is, this isn't the thing I like. I'm not into

this. This is really weird. And the first time I ever met my father, he brought me over to the house. I met my other family. I have like several other siblings, you know, half sisters and so forth and brothers. And my father came out with this prayer. And I literally had orange juice in my mouth. And I spit it out all over the place. So I'm like, what are you doing? You know, because it's To a kid, it looks funny, especially if you never were brought up with it. Sure. What are you talking to? You're talking to the air.

So it was really funny to me. So I was like, all right, well, I just kind of, you know, knew that, okay, maybe some people pray to things that they don't see, but it's okay. You know, it is what it is. So then my mom one time, she was getting aggravated. I don't know over what. I was, like I said, maybe around nine years old. And she says, oh, you're going to get into trouble.

need to go to your room and pray to God. And I'm like, all right, well, I don't know how to really do that, but I'll go into my room. And so I did. I went to my room. We had bunk beds at the time, my sister and I, I'm in the room by myself. I'm thinking, all right. So if I pray to Jesus, Buddha is going to get mad. If I pray to Buddha, Vishnu is going to get mad. If I pray to Vishnu, Allah's going to get upset with me. I said, I'm not praying. This is a setup. I don't know who to pray to? So I looked up to the heavens and I said, okay, whoever you are, I need you to reveal yourself to me because I don't know who to pray to. And I know that if I pray to the wrong one, I'm going to be in trouble. And I don't want to get into double trouble. So if my mom is telling me to pray to you,

and I don't know who to pray to, I need you to reveal it. So, you know, proximate to that prayer or that, you know, cry out to God, like, hey, you know, who are you? I get this, whether I was sleeping and in and out of sleep, it wasn't necessarily a dream. It was more than that. It was more illustrative than a dream. It was something that was highly impressionable to me. And so basically I saw this man sitting on the floor and he's chained to the floor and I'm like, oh, this is Jesus. And I knew instinctively, even though I didn't study or know anything, but I knew that this was Jesus.

And I also knew that he was jailed because the following day he was going to be crucified. So somehow I went back into time to this date and place and he's chained to the floor and he's wearing, you know, white garments and they were luminous. Okay. So when I looked at him, we could communicate without speaking to each other. But it was, you know, that's just the way it was. It wasn't stranger out of the ordinary at the time. It was just this, that was the way to communicate. So I'm looking at him and I go and I'm going into rescue mode and I touch his leg.

And he, of course, he has the white womaness robes on. And I knew from the second that I touched him, I was like, oh, my God, this is God. And I'm like, okay, okay, this is God. okay so but I had a problem because he was going to be crucified tomorrow so I'm like I said okay I need to help you get out of here you're going to be crucified tomorrow and he just looked at me with this look like everything is the way it's supposed to be and I had peace and I was like okay well if you don't want me to rescue you I was just locked into who he was in that experience so I came out of that. And again, it was

in between sleep, awake, half awake, or in the body, out of the body. St. Paul says, who knows? And basically, who cares really? And so I, at that stage, I said, whoever that is, that's who I want to marry. That's the one.

So being logical when I'm growing up and not knowing, because I didn't have a background in religion, I knew of other people's religions and I was very sensitive and it was all fascinating to me, but I wasn't really educated. So I'm like, okay, well, logically, I think I have to become a nun in order to marry this Christ, this fellow that I met. And, but I don't know how to do

that unless I become Catholic. So I'm like, all right, so I have to become Catholic sometime down the road. Well, that's where high school comes around. And my bus, stop arrives to a Roman Catholic Church, St. Joseph's Church and Chaltern. We used to exist on Route 20, and now they've actually moved it to another location. But my bus stop was there, and it took us maybe, I don't know, a mile and a half down the road from our homes, you know, for me to get down to the bus stop. And my friend John, John Cox, he had either kicked his hacky sack into a vent or something happened and he went through the church. And I was shocked.

I was like, John, this place is open? And he's like, yeah. Like, as a matter of fact, he's like, yeah, this is open. I was like, this is beautiful. And it captured me. There was something ancient about it. There was something, it had beautiful stained glass windows, but I could feel a presence in this church.

And I'm like, John, if you're Catholic, right? And he's like, well, yeah. I said, you need to tell me. everything. I need to know everything about this. And he's looking at me like I have 10 heads. And he's kind of embarrassed because, you know, I guess he kept his faith close to the vest. You know, I'm, you know, that would be normal for most normal people, I guess. In my case, I wanted to know everything. So I started to learn how to pray the rosary. And I started to connect, you know, with his mother. And she started to share about her spiritual experiences. And it was,

It was really cool. So then I, like we were talking earlier about, you know, my way to try to get more familiar with this experience in church and praying and getting into this feeling of this church just had this beautiful feeling. Well, my mom was very strict. We weren't allowed to do a lot of extracurricular activities. And so with her being so strict, the only way I could think of trying to sneak away to get to that church and pray and get there earlier was, I know if I asked my mom and said,

hey, ma, the bus is coming, you know, not the bus. I would like to go to pray there. She would think I was nuts. So I didn't ask. I didn't want to ask her. So I was like, okay, Christy and Nathan, we have a deal. We're going to say to mom that the bus is coming a half an hour earlier, which means we have to leave earlier and get to the bus stop.

So if I'm at the bus stop, at least a half an hour, I can. I could get into the church because it's open 24 hours a day. And I'm going to buy you, Nathan, donuts, coffee, whatever you want. If you want me to buy you some deodorant so you can learn how to blow it up, I'll buy you deodorant because I used to do arm wrestling matches in school and that's how I'd make money against these huge men. And they're all like, you know, and I was in the shop. My favorite years of my life, okay, was when I was in plant and building maintenance,

Bay Path Vocational Technical High School in Charlton, Massachusetts. And so I was a tomboy, and that was my shop. So bottom line is we were on our way to this school. And so I told my brother, I'll do that for you. And I said to Christy, you can have your boyfriend show up in the parking lot, and you can meet him and kiss all you want, have at it. But we can't tell mom because I need to have this. half an hour to get inside the church and do my prayers and feel that connection because I was craving

it. Once you feel it, you don't ever want to let that go, you know. And so we all agreed. The bus was coming early. So I hear the bus coming and I'm like, oh no, the bus is coming. So I run out of the church and I literally almost hit run into a priest, Father Bob Graderati. And he's shocked that he's like, wow, there's a kid in here praying, you know, like, wow, that's weird, you know. and he looks at me and he says, do you come around? Do you come here? And I'm like, no, no, no. I go to the Grange Hall and he's like, I says, I want to be a nun.

He's like, oh, wow. And that's when he asked me more questions. And I said, well, the bus is out there right now, but we can talk when I get back. I have 15 minutes. You can make me a Catholic because I think if I become a Catholic, I could become a nun. So I was like, okay. So he says, no, no. no, no, no, it doesn't work like that. We have this thing called the right of Christian initiation

for adults, R-CIA. So I said, well, let's talk about that more. I want to understand it and see if I can get permission. So finally, I had to face the music and ask my mother, you know, can I go to this extracurricular thing, right of Christian initiation for adults? And she said, of course, you can go there. And she thought I was just crazy because I was into everything in high school. I was eclectic. I loved the Motley crew. crowd, the ones who spiked their hair and painted it black. I loved the rip jeans. This was in the 80s. I loved the Rastafarians. I loved the Puerto Ricans. I loved the nerds. You know, all of it. I loved it all. So mom was like, okay, this is just a stage you're going through.

Sure, no problem. You can go to the RCA. You can go and become a Catholic. So a year later, after this, I become Catholic. And that was in, I believe it was the year 1993 in April, April 10th, I believe, was Easter during the ceremony. It was a beautiful experience. And I felt completely, it was just a beautiful, beautiful experience. So then, approximately a month after my graduation out of high school, I then went from, you know, my home to a convent on a trial basis to see if perhaps if this, this convent would accept me, you know, if I was good for them, within two weeks, they would say,

okay, great, you know, let's try this and see. Well, I was the little pet, want to be numb here, you know. And we had a farm and it was in Still River, St. Anne's House, St. Benedict's Center. And basically, this, this monastery or convent was founded by a founder named Father Leonard Feeney and Sister Catherine Goddard Clark. This was founded in the 1940s, and it surrounded a case called the Boston Heresy case, wherein these Sister Catherine and Father Feeney joined forces to teach students in that day, the 1940s, the truth of the Catholic teachings that were highly suppressed,

and one of which was this teaching called Extra Ecclasium Nula Salus outside the church, Roman Catholic Church, there's no salvation. And just so you have a feel for what that means, there is, in the Catholic Church, when the Pope proclaimed something ex-cathedral out of the chair, from the chair of Peter, everything he says, if you're Catholic, you believe, or supposed to believe,

that these are infallible words. And so the teaching that we believed in, when I joined the convent, these were very strict adherence to this age-old dogma. It's called Extraclasium Nula Salus. And here's a few quotations from these sayings. There's but one universal church of the faithful outside of which no one at all is to be saved, Pope Innocent the Third during the Fourth Lateran Council in 1215. The second one is we declare, say, define, and pronounce that it is absolutely necessary for the

salvation of every human creature to be subject to the Roman pontiff, Pope Bonif is the 8th, from the bull Unum Sankham in 1302. The Most Holy Roman Church firmly believes professes and preaches that none of those existing outside the Catholic Church, not only pagans, but also Jews and heretics, schismatics in the sense of Orthodox Christians, just so you know, can have a share in life eternal, but that they will go into the eternal fire which was prepared for the devil and his angels unless before death they are joined with her and that's so important is the unity of this ecclesiastical body that only those remaining within this unity can profit by the sacraments of the church unto salvation and that they alone can receive an

eternal recompense for their fasts their almsgivings their other works of christian piety and the duties of a christian soldier no one let his almsgiving be as great as it may no one even if he pour out his blood for the name of Christ can be saved unless he remained within the bosom and the unity of the Catholic Church, Pope Eugene the 4th, the Bocontate Domino in 1441. Now, the reason I'm bringing this up is because this belief system plays a huge role in the attacks that happened on the years later. Okay, so we're building that up. That's going to be important. Okay, so basically I love this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, we've loved me. I stayed there for about five years. We, we, we have farming. We do a bunch of agricultural things. It's just, it's just, it's a

of discerning, you know, and you can't just become a nun within two years of your conversion because of the code of 1983. The canon says you're not allowed to do that. Well, I found a loophole. And it's, it's, I was allowed to become an affiliate or an oblate or tertiary or an associate, whatever the word is. So I presented that to my mother superior. And she's like, well, of course, let's have you drop your promises and we'll go ahead and we'll accept those. So I was deeply loved there. And so I started to have experiences, spiritual experiences, one of which was through a process of deep purification.

I started to, you know, after I think I was there for maybe three and a half years. My timing may be off, but you can refer to the book for the facts. And I had this awful interaction. I was before the throne of Christ. It wasn't regarding my salvation, but it was definitely in regards to my path, my life path. And it wasn't positive at all. His face was lighting, his lit up so big time that I couldn't even get the features of his face,

but I knew it was Christ. And he had a flag, some sort of flag in his hand, and it had a red cross, and it was white in the background, and he was not happy with me. And there was nothing worse than this feeling knowing that you were displeasing, that I was displeasing to God. And I'm like, I couldn't understand. So I prostrated. I got down on my face in this interaction and said, just give me another chance. I said, I thought I was serving you.

And he's like, no, there's another path I have for you. And I said, but I'm here. I'm in the convent. I don't understand. I just didn't understand. And he said, no, I want you to to become a contemplative, to, to go and pursue the life of becoming a hermit. And I thought all of those were distractions or temptations

because I believed very practically that, well, wait a minute, what's in front of me is my calling. I shouldn't be looking for something like the grass is greener on the other side. So I just kept dismissing those thoughts. And Christ was like clearly saying, no, this is your calling. And I went in tears to my mother superior mother Teresa Benaway. I said, I don't understand what's going on. I thought I was doing God's will.

And she said, no, no, no, no worry. She just said, let's have you pray for a year about this. Together, let's pray about this. And maybe you can found a contemplative branch of our order, and here's some things to pray for. So I prayed for a whole year, and she gave me an extra hour in the chapel every single day so I could stick to the prayers.

and after a year I brought it in front of her again and my novice mistress who had a part in my formation. So I brought it forward and said, I don't understand this, but somehow I have to leave. And they were sick and I was sick and I didn't want to go. And mother said, well, I'm not kicking you. And I out. And I said, mother, if I have to do something drastic to get kicked out, I'm going to do it because she's like, kid, you can't do anything. We're never going to kick you out. But if you need my blessing, I will give it, even though, you know, it's hard for us, you know, to do that. And I said,

mother, I'm just trying to figure this thing out. I just want to please Christ. And I don't, you know, she's like, no, you have our blessing. You have the blessing of the order. And so I left in 1998, I believe it was like around October. And I had to. And I had to get navigated into the worldly realm. So keep in mind, when I joined the convent, I had no life experience. Didn't know how to write a check, drive. I knew how to drive like the little tractor equipment, but not a car. I didn't get a license, you know. So at that stage, I quickly within two weeks, of course, with the help of some parishioners, I got a job. I had a friend of mine taught me how to drive. I got my license, really very helpful people. And then my uncle, Kevin,

um, and Auntie Donna allowed me to stay in their place for a little while. And I was like so excited about that because it just so happened that down the street was the monastery where I could frequent liturgies. And at that time, I never missed a mass in over 10 years. I was every day, a daily communicating. So I, I took that. right away that opportunity. And so I would go to Daily Mass at this monastery, St. Joseph's Abbey, in Spencer, Massachusetts, and fell in love. And of course, I've already had a previous interaction with this monastery years ago when I was 15 or 16 years old. But I just said, okay, well, whatever is going on here, I think God is bringing back this original love that I

had for this monastery. So I frequent the liturgies. I'm very very, quiet. For eight months, I don't talk to anybody. Like, I was so strict about being so quiet because I just wanted God to root me spiritually so I can figure out how I can proceed with becoming a hermit in the Diocese of Worcester. So for eight months, I was very quiet. And one day, a friend of mine, Kathy, asked me to assist her, you know, to the ladies' room. And, of course, that was a separate building from the monastic building where the church was. So I assisted her, and I was greeted by a friendly monk. We were both greeted. She actually knew him. His name was Brother Philippe, Ma'ram. Very nice fellow. And he laughed and smiled, and it was so welcoming. And I didn't

know who he was. And so my friend Kathy said, well, I'm going to use the ladies room. Go ahead, sit down. And Brother Philippe was welcoming. He's like, oh, sit down. You know, he comes out and he's like, if you want some snacks, I'll bring you in some snacks. And we ended up talking. And he says, are you the lady that prays in the side chapel for like several hours a day, like eight hours a day? Like I would work doing like three different jobs. But I would find a way to just barely make a living so I could spend the rest of all my time in the chapel.

And now at this point, when Brother Fleet mentioned that and then his friend, Brother Patrick, I was mortified. I was like, oh, no. I thought I thought I was being quiet. You know, he's like, no, no, no, no. We notice everybody who's praying in the side chapel. I'm like, that's embarrassing. You know, because I'm just going there to pray to the Lord.

And there's the wall, there's a wall that separates the monastic enclosure, you know, the sanctuary by way of the altar. From the lay chapel. So this was like, kind of like going into a prayer closet and praying. It was really a perfect place to pray, really quiet. So at this point, the monk says, you know, no, no, no, you're not an interruption whatsoever. It's an honor for us to have you praying here with us. So I started to share some of my journal writings. And he's like, whoa, you need to stop.

I have to get this monk to hear what you've got to say on this. So he goes and grabs Brother Patrick McHale, brother Patrick and I, and all we sit down. And I think Kathy was still there. and I'm reading from my journal and Brother Patrick is like, I've been here for over three decades and I've never seen what you see in this church. And he started to cry and he said, you're going to bring back something. This is something that our abbot needs to see. And now I'm like crawling in my hole, like in a shell.

Like, no, I don't want to be exposed to. Here's the deepest part of my writings in poetry. and now you're going to have me interact with the lead, the head, the CEO, the president of this monastery, right? To have you guys understand the abbots like the main one in charge. So I was like, all right, I'll get the courage, you know, to share it. So I did. And so then I ended up going to confession and there's a priest named Father Raphael Simon. And I didn't pick the priest.

And I was like, okay, well, this is great. You know, go to the confession. I think it was Sunday. And then partake in the liturgy. So I did that. And this priest, Father Raphael said, you know, we're talking. And he just says, listen, you have a very special calling on your life. And it seems like you really should have our support with that.

And I was like, well, I didn't ask. And if you're offering, I'm going to take you up on your offer. because that's the way we were taught. In the Catholic Church, you're taught that you're not really supposed to be asking for a lot of things, but if things happen to you, then that's the way to understand that that's God's will for you. You're supposed to kind of be more passive. So I took that as a sign. So this priest, Father Rayfield, asked me, he says, listen, I'm going to see if I could get permission.

And he asked the abbot, now having remembered, that I sent previous writings to the abbot on some of my journal entries, as was requested, very personal ones about the beauty of the Abbey Church. And so I did that. Now, Father Afield came back and he says, I have good news. The abbot said we can meet together for a few different times. And then once we meet, after we will be able to determine if we're going to be a good fit together. And the abbot will either give me full permission to continue or not.

So I met with him a couple of times. I answered all his theological questions in writing. I wrote what was today called Divine Challenge. In the beginning, it was called Vitamea, which means my life. So the prompting of me writing this book started, and it was written, started way back into the year 2000. Wow. So the earliest beginnings, the first 50 or 60 pages were written at that time. So it was written fresh from the memories as they were right there in immediate. So now, Father Rayfield says, you're not going to believe this. We have the permission.

So I did everything. I did everything. And he said, you know, this is great. You've been through a horrible childhood. But it looks like the Lord has healed you tremendously from your past. I mean, you're very compassionate and you're a survivor and all of these things. And I was just like, well, great. Well, let's see what we can do to proceed.

He says, okay, well, I'll just have a few more questions to ask you because they want to get an understanding if I'm theologically sound. That's part of their investigation. That's what they need to do. So I answered all the questions and we had a meeting and he said, you answered these stunningly well. And let me see if the abbot's going to go ahead and let us work together. So now the priest visits, he sets a time we get together.

He says, I have bad news. I'm like, what's the news? He says, the abbot doesn't want me to work with you. I was like, what? After three months of pretty much, you know, you get to know all about me. And you just said, I'm basically, you're a psychiatrist. I'm not a whack job, you know. So in my spiritual, my footing, you said was sound.

I didn't have some sort of theological deviations. So I don't understand what's going on. And he's like, that's just the way it is. And the abbot is likely afraid that you'll bring a following. And we won't have enough priests. And I said, no, no, no, no, no. I don't have a following. I'm just one person.

I'm just trying to get spiritual direction because that's what the canon say I have to do. So now at this point I'm really confused, but I was like, okay, no worries. So I sit down and I write in my journal about how I feel. And then I just let it go. I just let it go at that point. So a couple months goes by and I'm in the gift shop at the Abbey and I'm purchasing maybe CDs or incense or something. And I met with, I believe I was Father Aquinas and Father. Isaac. Now, Isaac at the time, I believe, was the prior, which means he's the second and in charge of the Abbey.

So he has a level of authority that's higher than Father Rayfield. And he says, well, Father Aquinas says, well, how are you doing? And he's cheerful. Now, he was very nice. He used to walk up to me at five in the morning. I'd literally get in the church when that door would open at 2.30, okay? And I'd stand there and pray. And Aquinas was in charge of taking care of sacristan duty. So he'd walk up to me at 5 in the morning, lay his hands on my head and say a beautiful blessing over me. On occasion, that would happen. And it was just the wonderful, beautiful experiences of tremendous camaraderie and spiritual fellowship that I had with some of these monks. So now, Father Aquinas asked me, well, how are you doing? And I burst out into tears.

And I said, I feel like I'm screaming. and nobody can hear me. And I don't understand what's going on. And he says, oh, honey, that's the dark night of the soul. And I was like, oh, all right. And he's like, well, yeah, that's part of the deal. This is kind of what spiritual people go through. And as you progress in the spiritual life, this is something you have to go through.

It's a purgation. It's a purgative thing. He's like, oh, all right. And then Father Isaac says, so I told them both in front of them both. I just kind of, because they were right there at the cash register. and I told them both what was happening and Father Isaac was very compassionate and he says you know Why don't we go ahead and meet around 7 o'clock tonight? I have a clear calendar. Let's sit down and talk about What you're trying to do and let's see if I can help you out and see if I can in an even-handed way

Navigate this with you. So we met that evening at 7 o'clock and I shared with him I pulled out the treatises of St. Aero de Rievel I proved that historicity of my the historicity of my request. I prove the canonical aspect of my request that it's there's nothing out of the ordinary with what I'm asking for. It's in alignment with canon 603. I have the support of another monk named Brother Alphonseus Maria. I feel like this is my calling. And so he's like, there's nothing abnormal about this at all. Father Isaac was like, let's see if I can help you. Why don't you go ahead and write up this thing called the propositum, which in Latin means proposal. So I drafted the propositum.

And he says, you know, this looks really good. This is in alignment with our spirituality. He says, I have a priest. His name is Father Dennis O'Brien. And he might be able to help you in a very powerful way because he was at our monastery, but he's living in the world. And he understands both.

And right now you're in the world and you're trying to get to the hermit life. But in order to do that, you have to establish your base of operations. That's what he called it. So I was like, well, this is wonderful. I appreciate you doing that. He called the father, Dennis O'Brien. And Dennis said, sure, I'll meet with her.

So for two and something years, I was meeting with him. And I was, again, getting on my feet, getting financially stable, learning, you know, getting an apartment, keeping up with my prayer life, upholding free jobs, you know, studying. I read hundreds of books on the spiritual life. And literally monks would walk up to me. Brother John Gore walked up to me and said,

here's all the books that the novices study. Read these. And he hands them all to me. So on my lunch breaks, I'd go to my car for an hour and just sit there and read like the father, the ancient, the writings of Anthony of the Desert and, you know, Evagrius, Pontus, and all these ancient writings of the desert fathers.

And I'm like, this stuff is, I live, eat, breathe, and this is everything I want. This is everything that's in me. And so now we're running into a problem because after two and a half years, I ended up getting, I was invited to someone's, a monk's profession, and I run into a priest in the hallway. His name is Father Joseph Jukong. And Joseph wrote a book. He's since passed, of course, but, you know, later he passed away. But at this time, he wrote a book called The Contemplative Experience.

And I read it and loved a lot of the aspects he brought up in the book. So I asked if I could sit down and talk with him and he says, you know, it just so happens that if you're on retreat this week, I'm the retreat master. and I can share with you the aspects of my book privately, we could carve out some time and we'll sit down. And he said, that's perfectly fine. My schedule is clear this Thursday. I was like, oh, great. So we sit down. Now things start really getting weird.

The conversation went on for approximately an hour and a half, maybe a little more than that. It's in the book, Divine Challenge. Of course, that's over 15 years ago, so the details aren't going to be as strong in my mind. Sure. So here it is. He says, he starts saying, well, go get the Bible over there. So I pull off this dusty old big white Bible out of the guest room and plunk it down on the table. He says, open it to the song of songs or canticle of canticles and go to chapter one verse 12. And he says, read this. And he says, and it says something like, my lover is like a bundle of my mer between my breasts and all this language. It's erotic. And I'm like, like, all right, well, that's cool. I've read a lot of writing. St. Bernard of Clairvaux, you know, talks about the, you know, the love of husband and wife as being a paradigm, a reflection of the love of Christ in his church, and that one reflects the other, that marriage reflects mysticism. Mysticism doesn't reflect sexuality. Sexuality always points to mysticism, which is, you know,

eschatological. It's the end. It's what we're all built for in the end of being fully fulfilled with God. So I was like, well, this is cool. You know, nothing weird on that. So then he's like, well, and I pray that nobody abuses the women in the side chapels. And I pray for their breasts. And I'm thinking, okay, now this is getting little weird. And this guy's 84 years old. So I'm like, but I wasn't judgmental. I didn't have a judgmental bone in my body at that time. I was just like, all right, this is a little weird. But if he's the teacher, then I'm the student. So I'm not going to question it. I'm just going to keep it in the back of my mind. So after an hour and a half of discussion, you know, we go on and father says, you know,

I want you to consider becoming a nun as part of our counterpart. And if you do that, I'll be able to meet with you on a regular basis. And the abbot said that. And he gave me permission to be your spiritual advisor, meaning basically I'm going to be graduated from Father Dennis, who's an outside parish priest to someone on the inside of the monastery now, insofar as I would agree to being formed in that path of life, to give up going to the monastery. And I said, wait, Father Joseph, you were supportive of my vocation years ago.

I met with you and talked to you about this back when you were the prior, the second man in charge before Father Isaac. And now you're telling me to change everything and that I need to basically leave the monastery. when I've been in formation for the past two and a half years in order to purchase land annexed to the monastery that's all, you know, it's all on its own autonomous. I'm not a burden to you financially. All I do is pray in your church. So I've been in formation as a hermit all these, you know, the two and a half years.

I don't understand why you're having me change this all of a sudden. I said, I'm not saying no to you, but I'm really confused. I don't understand what's going. on here. He said, I said, what did I do something wrong? And he's like, no, no. You need to understand there are men. There are monks here at the monastery that go to confession to me and they tell me they struggle with having you around. I said, Father Joseph, I haven't done anything. I'm praying in the side chapels here. And I'm minding my own business. And if some monk comes out, like Father Robert and he's got a tray of trappist preserves and crackers and he wants me to have some tea with him,

I'm going to have tea with him. I wouldn't think he would have a problem. He's like, no, no, it's not Father Robert. I was like, well, who is it? And he's like, I can't tell you. And I said, I'm telling you right now, I have zero desire for any monk here. I'm here for Christ alone. He says, I understand that.

But he says, we need to find a way to get this to work. And I said, I'm not saying, no, I'll pray about it. it. So as I get ready to leave the meeting, I go ahead and I pick up all my books, and he lunges out and grabs my left breast. And it was quick. So I knew this wasn't about sexual pleasure, at least in my mind that's, it didn't work that way. I was very outside of all that. I was, I'm asexual. So it wasn't something that I was acclimated to or tuned into. I'm very, very tuned into other things at that time in terms of my pathway to, God. So he grabs me, then he runs back in the room. Now I'm stunned. I'm in shock. Because now I know

everything I fought for, everything I built my life around. I put all my eggs in one basket. Now was called into question and it was going to go down the tubes in one second with his action. Everything I fought for was going to be gone. So he comes back in the room. He says, tell nobody of this meeting. And then maybe, oh, immediately, brother Philippe gets on duty at five o'clock that night. And he's the porter. They call that the porter, the person who's in charge of greeting guests and so forth and accommodating them.

So I go in the office. I says, brother, I got something to tell you, this isn't good. And he's like, no, no, you need to tell me. I says, I can't tell you here. He's like, just tell me. So I told him. And he said, this is really bad. So we stayed up all night till 3 in the morning.

We went out, you know, got in the car. I went to an AA meeting with him. And I never, I said, I've never gotten drunk before, but I'm going to tell you right now, it certainly sounds good to me today. So he's like, well, let's go to AA. So I go to AA with him. And then we sit in the car and we end up talking mostly through the whole meeting. And he basically says, Sistakera, you must understand.

there's something going on here. He says, he's Egyptian, so he has an accent. He says, you need to understand that you have been coming to this monastery and you really got to know way too many things. I said, Philippe, I know nothing. I know nothing. He's like, no, you don't get it.

You're coming here and you are pursuing a holy path and there's monks who come here and they're pursuing other things. Now, it didn't make sense to me because I didn't have a judgmental, like I said, I didn't have a grid to be judgmental. So if a monk would jump over the wall and confess their sins to me, of which this did happen, okay, I didn't look at this as a part of a big conspiracy, but later when I looked back on it, I'm like, oh, no, now I guess.

get it. But at the time, I was too naive to put the piece together. There was monks that jumped over the wall would cry. Grab my hand and say, please, can you please be my spiritual director? Keep in mind, I'm only in my 20s. And I'm looking to them to become a spiritual director so I could be approved by the bishop six years later to get my bows under Canon 603 through the Diocese of Worcester. And you certainly, you know, jump in. If you have any questions, I'm just doing my best to clarify this for those aren't Catholic. No, you're doing fine. Thank you. And I appreciate this. So basically, Brother Philippe says, so at this point, now I'm starting to remember, I've got people like monks confessing that they're heavily steeped in severe pornography.

And my way of treating it was like, wait, you know, do you know that that's a sin? Are you aware that that's a sin? And of course, the tears were coming down. and they're far older than me, 50s and 60s, telling me this stuff. And I said, listen, I'm only in my 20s. If your Abbott gives you permission to meet with me, I won't necessarily be able to be your spiritual director, but I'll share with you the things that I know as far as how to become, how to tap into the intimacy with God,

where he can fulfill all those desires and truth that are set in your heart and you won't have to go to a counterfeit. And so this guy's like, the monk was like, all right. And he came back to me. He says, I asked Father Isaac if you could be my spiritual director. And he said, good choice. Sister Curie is a good choice, but you're being unfair to her because she's trying to pursue her path. And you shouldn't be putting the Abby's burdens on her shoulders.

We've got priests here. And I said that to the monk. I said, yeah, you've got priests there. He's like, you don't understand. We have no priests here. I was like, what? I don't get it. It didn't make sense until years later.

It all started to make sense. Years later, all the big picture started to come into focus. So now, where Brother Philippe is telling me all this stuff, he says, don't tell anybody. Well, you could talk to Brother Patrick, your friend, and that's fine. We all agreed, okay, I won't tell anybody as far as I won't make an allegation and bring that forward to the Abbey. He says, you got to understand if you do that, they will hurt you very badly. And I was like, wow, I don't understand any of this.

And he's like, you got to, he says, I know, I overheard the monks talking. They were planning something like this for you. I said, are you kidding me? I'm in shock. He says, you don't get it. You pray at that wall for 13 hours a day. When the chapel opens up at 2.30 and on your days off, you're there from 2.30 till 8 p.m. And there's monks here who've never had spiritual experiences the way you have with Christ.

And I'm like, I don't know if I can believe that because I believe everybody. Hey, you're there. It's a beautiful place. God's going to access you. You're going to connect to him. So it's just, you know, now at this point, too, months later goes by and I end up meeting with a friend of mine, Sister Mari Maloof, who is no longer a nun, at St. Scholasca's Priory in Peterson, Peterson. And we sit down and I tell her my story. And again, I'm not bringing the allegation to the Abbey, but I'm just like, I'm struggling because now I can't go to communion because I feel hatred. I felt all these feelings of awful.

like a communion is supposed to be a symbol of unity and now I'm just like downright and Father Joseph came up to me after church one time came over to the wall and he said so when are we going to have another meeting and I grabbed his hand and I pulled him in and I didn't let him go and I said father we're having no more meetings I said do you even get it that you hurt me he's like I'm so sorry I'm sorry he says I won't do that again and I said father I says, we're not having any more meetings. And I forced him to say a prayer with me, the Hail Mary. And then I pushed him away. Because again, when he came to the wall, the wall comes up to about your sternum or my sternum, because I'm short. And so there's priest, he couldn't get away.

You know, I finished the prayer. Then I let him go, like, you know, to make the point. We're not having any more meetings. We're done. And so, and of course, at this point, when I share this with the nun, sister Mariam, she tells me you're not going to believe this, but over 10 years ago, the same priest did this to another woman I know, a very close friend of mine, who also was a former nun of the monastery to which you were a part of in Still River, Massachusetts. And then I flipped out. In that moment, it was a, she was talking to me, I'm at a huge oak table, and I slammed the oak table with my fist. And I knew it was over. I was just like, And the nuns came running to the door to peep through the peephole to see if I punched the nun.

No, I didn't punch any nun. I was just upset because I knew everything I worked for was gone. And so, and the nun was just like, Sister Mariam's like, I'm so sorry. I don't have permission to tell you who it is yet, but I'll let me reach out to her if you want me to. And I said, well, yes, let's go ahead. And we made a plan to try to resolve this in-house because the priest, Father Raphael Simon, who is a friend of mine, he used to go up and say mass for the nuns at this monastery.

So I was like, well, this guy is great. Let's see if we could work through him and see if he can approach Father Joseph and make sure that Father Joseph won't work with any women. If he could just agree to that, I don't need to bring anything forward. Well, Father Joseph first denies it. Then when Mario Maloof brings in, because the other victim survivor allowed me to use her name, Merriam Singleton.

And Miriam said, no, this did happen. And so Father Joseph said, well, I'm sorry, I apologize. I'll never do it again. I'll do better next time. And I said, that's not good enough. So I told the parish priest, because like at the time, as you know, I was working to clean churches and clean houses and so forth for a living. So I told Father Peter Joyce, and eventually he called the DA's office.

Now, keep in mind, the assault happened to me, August 23rd, 2001. The abuse story started to come out in late November of 2002 or thereabouts. So my story was still in the mix, okay? So when all this stuff hit the newspapers, Father Peter Joyce called the DA's office in Worcester and said, listen, this woman is not a child. She's over the age of 14, but a priest grabbed her.

and it's an indecent assault and battery, according to Massachusetts law. And I just need to tell you that. And so once you move forward with that sort of thing, it's done. So they opened a file. Speedily, we went to a trial. March 13, 2003, we still tried to resolve it in-house with the monastery. I even had a letter written by Father Joseph saying he'll promise to ask his superiors to never work with women again. they used the trial to ruin my name.

I had a testimonial, a rebuttal witness, Father Peter Joyce, because he was a participant in the negotiations with the Abbey to resolve this behind closed doors. I didn't want any money. All I wanted was the priest to not work with women. So it goes to the day of the trial, and judges changed. My rebuttal witness was barred from being able to give testimony. when the Abbey's rebuttal witness was allowed to get up on the stand. There was a ton of things, and I have everything outlined.

You can look it up. It's called on clergyvictim.com, you can go to grievances. And I did a grievance, and it hit the newspaper against the attorney representing the Commonwealth, meaning my story with the abbey, this priest monk, Father Joseph Tukong. Basically, bottom line is my case was botched and it was used in order to thwart other victims of clergy of St. Joseph's Abbey, this is how I found this out years later. And it was used to stop others from bringing their voice forward and resolving their issues. There was many, many, many other victims and it didn't just end up in a boo grab.

My situation, I said no to the priest, is others who were screened through the confessional to find out if they were damaged goods. And they were ending up being groomed and full force, full-fledged satanic ritual, sexual practices were going on at the abbey, more than one priest, more than one monk. And this was systemic. and to the point when I was at the state house trying to change the get the rules changed, the statutes of limitations changed, you know, Stobiersky and Stobiersky approached me and asked me to help, you know, as a private consultant, they wanted me to be a witness, you know, an expert witness. I said, no way, I'm not getting on any stand.

I said, no way, but I help you behind the scenes and I will give you everything you need to know about the abbey. Because by that time, I started to collect names, cases, people who ended up dying mysteriously because they were involved in cases of the sexual in nature, died of bone marrow cancer and things like that. I collected files now. And then at this point, I'm still trying to figure out, well, how am I going to become a nun? I can't even go to the monastery. I was barred from going there. Other monasteries started to bar me from going to their monastery for service.

and I had the support of one monk, Brother Alphonsas Maria, and he stuck up for me through the whole time. And so then it turned into, okay, now I've got, I lost in the court of the courts, the actual courts in the Eastern, the Brookfield District there in Massachusetts. I lost in court. I went all the way up to the board by our overseers, all the way to the Superior Courts. against me, against attorney Marada. And they also were in support of the Diocese of Worcester and covering up these crimes. And I was very heavily involved as a victim advocate

with clergy advocacy groups, namely of Mary T. Jean of the Worcester voice. So bottom line, the corruption got to the degree where Mary T. Jean and I were working together and her trash was being, people were digging through her trash, her phones were being tapped, my phones were being tapped. When I gathered the evidence at the district attorney's office as to how my case was botched, because the DA's office refused to give me the documents, the entire file. Well, I got the Attorney General of Massachusetts saying in a letter, if they don't give you everything, we're going to prosecute against the DA's office.

So I took the letter and I went to the DA's office and I said, I'm not leaving here until I get any in all documents. And sure enough, they gave me the documents. And I said, do you want to know why you were told not to give me the documents to the secretaries? They should, sure. I said, I know you're just doing your job. I get that. But here's the reason why. This was a huge cover-up. Here's the police speaking with the Abbey officials, and the Abbey officials agree that Father Joseph Chukong admitted to doing this to another woman. And here's her name and the police talked to her. And this victim survivor, Miriam Singleton, reached out to the Abbey, reached out to the Bishop of Worcester, Daniel P. Riley, and begged them not to let this thing go to trial and to just do the right thing. and I say here's the police reports here's what father Joseph says here's the police reports all of this is in the book divine challenge with father Isaac keely all of the proof is there that this case was used

to destroy my credibility so now and these these secretaries were so upset they're like we're so sorry you went through all of this we're so sorry and I said and they were they were just devastated and I said I don't know why they're covering this up this is just a boo grab you know I don't know what the big deal is. Why can't they just do the right thing? I never asked for money. The thing is they were afraid that with those documents, I could move forward and do a civil suit. The civil suit, all I would need is 51% proof. Well, I had 99% proof of my case. And so I reached out to Craig F. E. Nini. He agreed, if you get me a retainer, we'll work together. Boom, he writes me back a letter. That letter, I believe, is also enclosed in the Divine Challenge.

book where he says, I can't take your case. I approached, bottom line, they were threatened. This book, Divine Challenge, I tried to publish it four times since 2009, I believe it was. And well, actually, wait a minute, up till 2013 even, until 2013 was the last time. I had four publishers reach out. I reached out to them. and one of them reached out to me. And I even signed a contract. They gave me $8,000 back and said, sorry, we can't take this book on.

We're afraid. First, they lied to me and they said, no, it's because it doesn't fit in alignment with what we do. I said, that's a lie. I said, I want to talk to your CEO right now. The CEO told me the whole truth, and I said, I respect you. I said, listen, if you're afraid, I'd rather hear that than hearing the lie,

that my book didn't fall in alignment with what you publish. I said, it sure does. So they said, no, we're afraid. And I said, I respect that. So they gave me back the money. And so now here's the deal. We're at the stage now where I'm uncovering that the Vatican was directly involved in Massachusetts state politics to the degree that Mary T. Jean, when I went to her federal case, the federal judge signed an injunction allowing for the restraining order to be put. that the John Ponte, who is the district attorney and all his state police, were barred from

being within X amount of feet of Mary Jean. That's how serious this got. Okay. So there was a, you know, we've got so much corruption in Massachusetts state police that even a federal judge had to protect Mary Jean with some, with a document saying that they can't go near, like a restraining order. So now. Now, this all ties in. Why? Because Mary Jean was working on these cases relating to clergy, sexual abuse. And now the cases, then I started to join Survivors Network for those abused by priests and other organizations. I was on TV helping these people. I was a public name going all the way back then where this none would stick up for these victims in survivors of abuse. And even for priests that were falsely charged, too. We weren't one way. We were totally all about the truth. And so now it gets to something where it's more dangerous. So I start to figure out the truth. Okay, the Roman church is now not only involved in covering clergy abuse,

but that this clergy abuse was part of a plan that during the time of Paul VI, all of this abuse stems back to a sociological plan to basically undermine and infiltrate all of our seminarians at that time so that the good seminarians were kicked out, the bad ones were allowed in, the people involved in pedophilia and satanic ritual practices were allowed. This is all outlined. This isn't my opinion. It's the opinion of Father Malachi Martin in his book, Winswept House, which there is a key that unlocks the names of the priests involved in the high gloat,

that are involved in this big plan, okay, to take over our country and to take over the countries of the world specifically, as is outlined by Kay Griggs, in her expose on YouTube, she has her testimony where she totally tells the truth. She was married to an ex-military, top official, who divulged to her that the Jesuits basically took over our armed forces back and going all the way back. It was a plan that was outlined since the 50s, 60s and 70s, and the plan even goes back even before the 1930s.

And all of that can be proven. So I started to study more deeply. Okay, so if Massachusetts has no remedy because it's bad business to do a case against the Roman Catholic Church there, I approached Mitchell Garibidian. He's the one in Spotlight, the movie. I basically said, he says, sister, you have a case and it's worth millions.

But he said, I ain't touching that one with a 10 foot pole. I ain't going near it. I'm like, why is this? I don't understand. Now, years later, I keep finding out more of the truth of why. It doesn't stay into a simple situation. It gets very complicated. So now, I end up calling Greg Sismansky.

I read an article Alpern v. Vatican Bank regarding the genocide of the Orthodox people in Serbia at the hands of Roman Catholic priests who ran the rat lines and the concentration camps killing these Orthodox priests and forcing them to convert. So I called Greg Sysmanski. I says, Greg, I see your journal here. I see this article. I'm really confused. I don't know if this is really true or not. He's like, you need to talk to barrister or attorney Jonathan Levy. I called Levy. I am deeply concerned. I'm a Roman Catholic nun. I've been one for over 14 years or whatever the year was at the time, maybe 13 years at the time.

And I said, I'm looking at pictures where we have Roman Catholics sawing off the heads of Orthodox priests. Am I looking at declassified documents or is this some hoax? He said, no, sister, these are real documents. And he gave me more access to more under Ante Pavelics. This was back in the 19, you know, period of 1938 to the 19 early 40s. So now I'm saying, I said, are you kidding me? This is literally genocide perpetrated at the hands of the Vatican. And he said, yes, I'm the one who got access into the Vatican vaults,

finding the teeth of these survivors, the gold from the teeth of these camp people who died, these people who died, that all of that was sent through rat lines. And I actually have the books on that. And the gold and all the plunder that was taken from them is at the Vatican Bank. And I couldn't eat for a week. I was sick to my stomach. I took off my habit because at that time I said, for me to stay as a Roman Catholic nun, even though my heart was in the right place and I just wanted to love Jesus,

it would be no different than wearing an SS uniform. And I'm not saying that against other nuns, because other nuns don't know what I know. There's no judgment to them. But for someone like me who knows the truth, I have no choice but to act on the truth. So at that point, I said, okay, I'm done with the Romanism. And I studied for three years,

and I went into the Orthodox faith that's completely against the Jesuits, completely on another calendar and the whole nine yards and that's a whole other story. That story can be found on clergyvictum.com under the interviews tab February 28th, 2008 for that story. But now it's getting to the point where I reveal the truth, October 17, 2007. I go on Greg's show. He asked me to go on his program for two hours, named names and exposed the players and the Masonic connections going all the way to the top and Bishop Robert McManus and his gay lover's name and just put it all out there because at this stage for seven years while helping victims of clergy abuse I was going around

with binoculars that took pictures of people and we had the evidence proving that these priests were lying under oath you know and that they were you know they had restraining orders they couldn't be with the children, but yet we had pictures of them alone with children. We had cameras up in the house. And then they're lying. I met with Joseph Early in his, the DA, the following DA, and found he was lying in cases. And I said, I got up in that meeting and I started telling him, I'm not stupid. You're lying. It just so happens. I have a background in understanding pet and raymond spectroscopy and a bunch of other things, pet scans, and your data that you're giving me here is not in alignment with the truth of the science of this stuff. And he flipped out

because I was with Mary T. Jean. So that was regarding another case. So now I'm getting to know too much and it's really becoming a serious problem. So within less than two days, when I got on that program with Greg Sismansky, that interview can be found on interviews tab, clergyvictim.com, two hours and my fellow sidekick or I was her sidekick, whatever, she was steeped in it longer than I was, Mary T. Jean gets on that radio show and then the other victims get on the show, the second hour, and they confirm everything I'm saying about what's going on. And then the Diocese of Worcester just so happens to want to reach out and talk to me when, in fact, I wrote them letters begging them to talk to me months and months before I got on that radio show.

They had wanted nothing to do with me. So Sister Paula calls me, kill her. I had nothing against her, but she's the vicarous for religious for the Diocese of Worcester, for female religious. And so she says, can't we meet? Can't we get together? And I said, listen, I've been trying to contact you. I will meet you at a time and a date in a place of my choosing. Because I knew I had to give my resignation.

And I didn't want to just meet up in some restaurant where they put something in my food. because now at this part, I was starting to study Eric Phelps' writings, Vatican Assassins, and their favorite tool for getting people was through poison. So I didn't trust anybody. So I finally met with Sister Paula, and she starts to, you know, ask a bunch of questions. And I said, let's just change the topic a little bit here. I have a document. It's called Cream and Solicitiatzionis, the Crime of Solicitation.

I translated it out of a Latin. and I'm deeply disturbed and you do know that Bishop McManus spends most of his time in Rhode Island with his gay lover and she says well we need to be compassion I said I have been compassionate I have people that are gay in my family and you know what here's the deal

none of my people in my family are lying openly and making declarations against the gay people they're not hiding this and yet he is he's hiding it in order for him to go up the ranks to cardinal it. And I said, furthermore, he's involved in much more than just that. And then she caved in and said, listen, can't we just be friends? I says, I'm done with the Catholic Church. The Catholic Church broke away.

She says, what do you want me to do? I just had open heart surgery. I'm in my 80s. What do you want me to do? And I said, sister, if you can continue being a part of this group, this whole Catholic church, that's on your conscience. church, that's on your conscience. But with all the studies and everything I've come up with, for me to continue a day further in this is sin. I cannot be in alignment with you guys. That's when she says, but we've educated you. Can't we be friends? And I said,

sister, I can be friends with you. And I don't have a problem being friends with you. Well, after that meeting, I go home, she gives me an email with the name of the guy. because she basically dropped the hint and let me know I was being followed 24 hours a day, seven days a week. And I went to someone who had, let's just say, worked with government. And I said, who is this guy? Oh, yeah, that guy works with the CIA. I was like, what? The CIA is following me?

That doesn't make any sense. Now I'm really flipping out, okay? Because the newspaper reporter walked in my house years before this, you know, disclosure. And he said, he asked me, did you let anybody know that we were going to have a meeting and get together face to face? I said, not until about an hour and a half. He said, no, no, no, within 20 minutes. Did you call anyone? I said, no, they're all at work. I called my sister to let her know. The newspapers come in here to talk with me in a week or so, but everyone was at work. I didn't call my sister until then, too. So I didn't call anybody within 20 minutes. He says, I got to call.

all and I was threatened with my life. David Dorr of the Spencer new leader. My life was threatened and I'm deeply concerned for you. I said, I'm so sorry. You don't need to take this story on. He says, I will take this story on. He says, but you, do you, do you, your phone is tapped, you know, because he's like, do you have a cell phone? I said, no, I don't have a cell phone at all. I have a normal phone that goes into the jack there. He says, no, no, no, your phone is tapped. He says, please be very careful. So now I have that. Then I've got people following me and I've got all this other weird stuff going on. So I said, forget it.

I'm done. I'm done with this. So I'm like totally exhausted. I've given a lot of my time and effort and energy for free for over seven years. I've even given my car away to a victim survivor. Okay. And I was barely surviving myself and I'm like, I can't do this. I'm burnt out and there's no help.

There's nobody. I have to just get a new. I have to renew myself. So that's when I ended up getting the truth about the bigger picture. And that Massachusetts is not the only state that's affected or infected by the Vatican politics. And that this has been going on for many, many years, but it's our entire country. And so I moved to Texas, renew.

my love for Christ, get away from all of this stuff, and I say, okay, God, what do you want me to do? And so this was a beautiful time. This was a time of regeneration. This was a time of figuring out the things that would make me in terms of like, what would make me overjoyed to wake up? What would make me happy to, to, what could I do in service to others that would be in alignment with my new self, you know. I'm no longer and none. And so that's when I started to study different kinds of lawful and legal remedies. So I started to go to classes like creditors in commerce, and I went from truth to more truth,

to more truth, to more truth, and started to realize successes. I actually helped get some people out of jail, one person out of prison, They were supposed to be there for over a decade. I got them out a year and a half. And I started to do other commercial remedies. And that's when things started to work out awesome for me, big time. And I started to do seminars and very rewarding. Because the suffering I went through as a result of losing the remedy with the Commonwealth versus, you know, Joseph Jekon, with that case,

I started to get an understanding of how the courts really operated. and that, you know, there is a design and that, you know, the court is basically a bank. And they're not going to be, you know, just trying to help out the little person. Most situations are going to be working with, you know, there's an outcome that's already predetermined before you get into the court. So when I started to wake up to these kinds of truths, I was like, well, wow. well, what if I start to use these remedies? And sure enough, I had tremendous success from the year of 2009 up until, I think it was 2014 or 15 is when I stopped. Because after 2012, some of the remedy was shut down and then they would keep shifting and changing.

And every six months, the judges would meet in Nevada and say, if you see paperwork like this, you need to kick it out. Now we've got AI systems that are looking into the documents, so I'm encouraging people to look more into doing things by handwriting instead. So at that point, that's when I had a new specialization. And then to the degree where in 2012 I held a seminar, the FBI wanted to meet with me. And I knew in advance they wanted to meet with me

because I had people nervous calling me saying, my nephew was just threatened by the FBI. If he didn't give your address and your number and information and everything to them, that they were going to prosecute him for something. I'm like, wow. I said, that's really not nice. And so, of course, my quote-unquote friend divulged everything to the FBI. And I knew, so I stayed up all night and I prepared powers of attorney.

I had all my documents. I got everything ready because I had no. no idea what they wanted me to talk about. So I wanted to be ultra ready just in case. And so I called Eric Phelps. I said, Eric, can you please invite any and all federal agents for free to come to my seminar? Because they obviously want to meet with me. And I have no problem meeting with them. So he did. He put up a huge article about the seminar and offered all federal agents to come for free. But they still have to sign my non-disclosure and they can't come in there in their federal capacity. Once they get to the door, they become their own individual

capacity. So then they, you know, so then I don't treat them any differently and I could speak the whole truth in my class and not withhold anything because the bottom line of what I was teaching in my classes was, here's the system and here's how it works and I'm not hiding it. Here's the whole truth. And I divulged everything. I didn't hide it. Everything came out. So, now in the meeting with the FBI, there was two gentlemen. They didn't stick a badge in my face. They were very cordial, very kind, wonderful individuals, actually, really nice guys. And I had two gentlemen with me so that I could have a witness. And, you know, they called me. And this was probably like a week later, so I wasn't, I thought they were going to meet me within two days of my friend being contacted. So I let it come and go

the comical part is I ordered a painting for one of the teachers, Jack Smith, and it was a beautiful Kincaid painting, and I wanted to award him that. So I run into the ladies room, have to use the ladies room real quick, and I thought it's FedEx who called me because this was a couple thousand dollar painting. And I'm thinking, I got to get this painting within one more day or else the seminar is going to be over and I can't give him this award. So I hurry up and I pick up the phone thinking it's FedExpress FedEx and hi is this Kerry Burner I'm like who is this oh this is agent so-and-so with the FBI I'm like oh no oh no because now I'm on a toilet and that means if I get up it's going to flush so I'm like this is really not good but I had my recorder and I never go anywhere

without my recorder and I didn't know what this was about so I'm like okay I stretched to go get my briefcase and the toilet flushes and I start laughing to the FBI agent. I said, so how can I help you? And he says, can we, I'd like to meet with you. And I says, is there any investigations open regarding the name? Carrie Berner, blah, blah, blah. He says, no, no, no, I want to talk to you about so and so. I said, okay, I'm more than happy to help you. He says, can I meet you at your home? I said, well, you know where the staybridge is, right? I says, I'm right there. He's like, yes, I know where the Stabridge is. I said, I'll see you at 2 o'clock in the Mercury room, in the conference room.

He says, of course. So they call me a half an hour before the meeting is arranged, and they say, hi, we just wanted to let you know we're here early, and that we don't want to meet with anyone other than you. And I said, the original agreement is that we would meet at 2 o'clock, and the stipulation is that there is going to be two gentlemen, likely present. present. And they asked, well, who are the gentleman? And I said, I'd like you to ask them when you meet with them. And I said, like I said, as per the original agreement, I will see you at two o'clock in the Mercury Room. So I got the waters ready. The water glasses ready, because that's what

they do to you so they could get your fingerprints. And they didn't flash any badges. My friend Jack said they were quite nervous, actually, in the meeting. But they were. They were lovely. They were lovely. We talked for a whole hour. And in the end, two years after that meeting, I didn't know what they wanted. But in the meeting, they asked me, do you believe the Pope owns us all through the collateralization of our birth certificates? And I steered clear of the answer because, first of all, they never signed a nondisclosure with me. I'm not going to discuss any of the content in my class that I teach unless someone signs my non-disclosure. disclosure and my confidentiality agreements and all that stuff. Because with the information in the wrong hand, someone could hurt somebody and it's not right. That's not the whole purpose of what I'm trying to do. So at this stage, he asks me, what about the emergency in 1933? And again, I don't answer him. I say, I steered the conversation in a whole other direction and went completely off the topic. And then two years after that, someone with a clearance said, do you know the FBI actually

had you down in their file? And it says she knows her stuff, but it didn't say stuff. And it says she would be a tremendous asset to us in that we would like to hire her as a CHS or a CI or whatever. They have all these little acronyms. And so I was like, oh, okay, that's what that was all. all about. And then that in order to access this information, only Congress would be able to give the alphanumeric codes or whatever, whatever code it was to be able to, because when someone's being vetted by the FBI, they put you in the system in order to protect you because other people shouldn't know that you work with the FBI, you know, so all of this stuff. So of course, I didn't work with them and I didn't contact them. I didn't know what anybody wanted for me at this time.

because at the same time, I started having strange things happen in my body. All right, everybody. That was part one of a two-part show. If you're ready for part two right now, go ahead and push play right now. For everybody else who maybe needs to take a breather, let their mind rest, go relax a little bit, go do some chores or errands, do what you got to do, go to work or whatever, because part two will be waiting for you as soon as you're ready to push play. And until then, remember, the truth would set you free, but first it will piss you off. You're never going to make it

You're not good enough There's a million other people with the same stuff You really think you're different And you must be kidding Think you're gonna hit it But you just don't get it It's impossible It's not probable

You're responsible Too many obstacles You gotta stop it yo You gotta take it slow You can't be a pro No wish your time no more Who can you tell me what to do I don't give a damn

If you say you disapprove I'm gonna make my move I'm gonna make it soon And I'll do it because it's what I want to do Because all these opinions And all these positions They come in in millions They block in your vision

But no you can't listen That is all fixing Because you hold the power As long as you're trying Make it There's no way that you make it And maybe you could fake it But you never gonna make it

Are you just gonna take that Make them take it all back Don't tell me you believe that Are you just gonna take that Hope girl you fight back You can never beat them and they're better than you face it. Thinking that they're giving them you're not a straight kid. No, they don't give it them you about what I'm saying.

I'm not playing. Don't give it to you straight, man. There's too many others and you're not that great, man. Stop what you're saying. Stop what you're making. Everybody here knows that you just fake you. Nah, I don't want to hear it anymore. All these things are not what I need anymore.

I'm about to shut them door on all you poor. Take this with your heads in the clouds. Talking out loud so proud. You better shut your mouth. Before I do more speak out, it's about to hit out. Never gonna make it. There's no way that you make it. Who can fake it.

But you're never gonna make it Are you just gonna take that Make them take it all that Don't tell me you believe that Are you just gonna take that Oh will you fight that