The Confessionals - 160: I Think I was Abducted

Episode Date: September 17, 2019

On Episode 160: I Think I Was Abducted, we have Sara joining us, whose great grandfather was actually a friend of the infamous abductee, Travis Walton. Knowing Travis and his story influenced Sara’s great grandfather to have a belief in aliens that also seems to have affected the people in his family, like Sara. Upon seeing UFOs, Sara had experiences that could lead one to suppose that she herself may have also been abducted. BECOME A MEMBER AND GET ADDITIONAL SHOWS: https://www.theconfessionalspodcast.com/join Subscribe to our YouTube: https://bit.ly/2TlREaI Subscribe to the Newsletter: https://www.theconfessionalspodcast.com/the-newsletter Website: www.theconfessionalspodcast.com Email: [e-mail] Facebook: www.facebook.com/TheConfessionalsPodcast Twitter: @TConfessionals Tony's Twitter: @tony_merkel Show Intro INSTRUMENTAL: www.youtube.com/watch?v=kyub39AXxUw Show Intro FREE DOWNLOAD: https://bit.ly/2HxNcw3 Show Art: Alika Spahn Naihe (www.hauoliart.com) Audio Trailer: Dalton Boyd (www.soundcloud.com/supernova-city) Brainstorm vs Green Needle: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1okD66RmktA Outro Song: Aero Chord - The Sound (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7uGcpsFaB2Q&feature=youtu.be)

This was all circulating around the base that a giant had to kill, but no one was supposed to talk about it. I saw three long, bony fingers, reach up underneath the door, curl up to grab it, and then disappeared. When he came over to me, dude, he slithered over to me. And this giant comes out of the cave and they're all frozen. And he starts running and firing up this giant. with a giant move he's got a spear in one hand and he's running really fast and spears dan holds him up like this somebody else shoot him in the face shoot him in the face they basically decapitated and i look over and there are two and they're literally i'm getting pulled off the bed

it's pushed and i touch air couldn't breathe and it couldn't move because i know i'm seeing a monster yep welcome to the show everybody you're listening to the confessionals i am your host Tony Merkel, thank you for being here. If you've had an encounter or a story you'd like to share with me on the show, go ahead and shoot me an email. My email address is The Confessionalspodcast at gmail.com. That's The Confessionalspodcast at gmail.com. Or go to the website, Theconfessionalspodcast.com.

Hit the contact section, and you can reach me that way as well. If you want extra shows every week, consider becoming a member to the website, theconfessionalspodcast. com. Once you join and become a member, you get access to new episodes every Thursday. So if that's something that interests you, go to the confessionalspodcast.com and check out the memberships. Now, this week we have Sarah coming on the show, and Sarah's going to talk about some different experiences that she's had. But it all seems to start with the great grandfather who actually knew Travis Walton. And from that point on, her story unfolds where she's had UFO encounters and from what you're about to hear, it really sounds like she was abducted.

But before we get to Sarah, I found something on the internet that reminded me that I never talked about it on the show beforehand. And about a year ago, I saw this video pop up and it's baffling to me. So if anybody can actually explain to me how this is possible, I'd greatly appreciate it. But there's a video that popped up last year, and I don't want to tell you what it's saying. I want you to listen to the audio and you tell me what you think you hear. What we're going to do is we're going to do a little exercise here. This is one of those Lori Yanny kind of things.

But listen to this audio and just listen to it. And you tell me, first off, what you think you heard the very first time around. And then we'll dive into it some more. Okay. So now that you heard that, did you hear brainstorm? Because that's what you're supposed to have heard when you listen to this audio. But there's a lot of people who say, if you think of the words green needle, you will hear the words green needle when you play this audio. So when I play this audio again, I want you to think

of brainstorm first. You'll hear brainstorm. And then I want you to think green needle. And you're going to hear green needle. And if you really want to have some fun with it, listen for brain needle. Because you'll hear brain needle as well. If you mix the words up, you'll actually hear that as well. So listen to the audio for brainstorm and green needle. It's pretty trippy. Check it out. All right. So that was some trippy audio that I came across about a year ago. And I never talked about it on the show. And I just saw it again this past week. And I just wanted to kind of throw it out there for you guys to listen to pretty

trippy stuff. And if you can actually explain to me how it's possible that we can hear brainstorm and green needle off the same audio, please do so because I find it very, very fascinating. Now, let's get to this week's show. What we're going to do is we're going to listen to an audio trailer for this coming Thursday's member episode. And after that trailer, we're going to dive right into this week's episode with Sarah. Let's go.

Put the empty jugs in the back of the trunk, and we drove out to the spring. And we got out of the car, and we each carried a couple jugs up to the spring, and I was standing there filling jugs up. I remember being, I could tell you what shirt I was wearing. I still remember very clear. And he was sort of standing next to me, and I was filling the jugs, and we were talking, and I remember hearing a noise, and I remember we both turned our heads. And the next thing I remember is we're walking back to the car, and it's dark out.

And I looked at him, and I said, didn't we come here? when it was light out. And he said, yeah, I thought we did. And we got to the car, and the car wouldn't start. I ended up calling a friend to come and get us. I had seen him like a year ago, and I had asked him, I said, did this happen the way I remember it happening? If we walked up there, he said, yeah.

And I said, do you remember anything? He said, no. And I still have no memory other than the sun being over our shoulder and filling the jugs and hearing the noise. And that's the last thing I remember. And we ended up walking back to the car at least six hours later when it was dark. All right, today I have Sarah coming on.

Sarah, how are you? I'm doing good. How are you doing? I'm doing good. I'm doing good. So we were just talking and stuff. And before we get into any of the stuff that you want to talk about tonight, which I think actually what we're about to talk about could segue into your actual UFO experience.

But your grandfather was friendly with a pretty famous UFO abductee. You just care to share with us? Yeah, that's right. Actually, my great-grandfather was a logger up on the Kaibat Mountain, which is in northern Arizona. So people are familiar with other loggers in northern Arizona, especially down in Snowflake area. They will know Travis Walton. And my grandpa works with Travis Walton, logging up on the mountain. When I was a kid, I was very insured about, you know, UFOs, lock-knit-moster, being in a triangle,

like, and Sasquatch, that was kind of my deal. I was probably a weird little kid, but that's okay. I remember asking my grandma if she had ever seen a UFO or if she'd ever, you know, seen lights in the sky, and she was said, and that's when she shared with me. you know that oh your great-grandfather you know he he worked with a man who was abducted by aliens and he they made a movie about him and I'm like thinking oh my gosh they made a movie you know I'm like I can't associate with this I'm going to watch a movie about this guy and she told me the spire in this guy and his name well she didn't tell me his name and so I watched the movie

and I told it I watched it without my parents from me because my parents are very strict LDS, Latter-day Saints, and they would not allow me to watch any kind of PG-13 when I was really young, and so I kind of, I was already kind of rebellious at age anyway, went out and watched this movie, and I was like, I knew it, they're real, it exists, it's going to, you know, this is my life now, like.

And so, yeah, it really brought in my mind. open my mind up to asking more questions, I think, and having more of a different way of thinking than my peers. I grew up in a really, really small town, and I have about 20 people in my graduating class, you know, I mean, it was a small town. Yeah. There's about, there's like 500 people, so, you know, in the town I grew up in. And then it wasn't until, I think it was last June, I actually had my incident where I was, I mean, I saw lights in the sky, you know, and I was able to video them and I took pictures of them. I was with my friend Alexis, and she's going to actually introduce me to your show, you like to point out too. Shout out to Alexis.

Shout out to Alexis. Sixella. She's backwards like like I am. It was around midnight. I told her I need to go get gas in my car. Before I forget, I'm one of those people where it goes down to the light coming on. And I go, oh, my gosh, I'm out of gas. How did this even happen?

So we went down the gas station. And this is, we were in Canab, Utah. So this is a tiny little town, too. I think this town, I think cana probably has about 7,000 people. So it's a little jump up from where, you know, the town I'm from, which is about 17 miles north of here. We were headed down to the gas station. We gassed up.

And we were headed back, and we were headed this. You were driving. I was driving down the street with no street lights on it. Like it was a dark little tiny town. And she's like, there's a light above the tree. I'm like, I am trying to look, trying to, like, you know, I'm behind the steering wheel, so I'm trying to look from where she's looking. I kind of turned a little bit, and I was able to see, and there was this huge orange light above the street top, and it was probably about the size of trampoline. It was, it was really weird, and then it went pink, and it went out, just like a flashlight.

Like, it just went out, and we're like, what the hell? was that, sorry, what the heck was that, right? We get to her house, we're like, oh, man, we saw a cool light. Like, that was really cool. Like, maybe it was somebody like, you know, with, I don't know. I mean, we really had no idea to speculate on that. And we got to her house and we're outside of her backyard. And I look over as we have this hill.

It's where I live. well in Canab there's just red dirt everywhere the hills are all red I don't know if anyone's familiar with like Arches National Park and it's just red dirt everywhere red sand

and so this big red hill you know it's in the middle of night and we're what it's called K Hill and we're like looking at the hill and there's this light and it's going up and it's going down and it's going left and right there are no sounds

you know can't figure out like you know like well maybe it's a drone right I mean I don't know I

I mean we're sitting there looking at speculating it and I and that's when I took a picture and I took a video and I I actually stepped out onto her back lawn

um and this is probably like an hour later and the sprinklers came on. Like, I, I, none of the other sprinklers came on the other lawn and it was like, you know, in the middle of the night and the sprinkler came on on her lawn, just her lawn. And I'm like, oh my gosh, they don't want me to step out and record it, you know. And she, I was like, why are the sprinklers coming on? She's like, that's never happened before. I have no idea. Or like, whatever, you know, like, try and get my phone led. like nice try aliens like i'm still going to record you you know and so we're sitting there a little bit

longer and um it's like a two third two three o'clock in the morning we sat out back we were listening to our you know podcast and um smoking cigarettes just chilling and hanging out and um I had just fairly uh March I had been off probation for about four months now four months then and so I was able to stay out late and so I was like well you know what I want to go home I'm going to go home and stay in my bed

you know I don't want to stay tonight like I was planning on so around 3 o'clock in the morning is when I head home and I so 17 miles north of here is where I'm from in Orderville and along that road

there are these huge sand dune hills and there is a peak. And the peak is maybe 7,000, I think, elevation. And I get to that peak and I'm like thinking, I bet I could turn around and look at canab and I can see that light. So I get out of my car and I have a video of it. And there's Lincoln Park playing in the background as my serious X-M. You know, I wasn't like trying to plug.

you know, Lincoln Park, but I was, I get out of my car, and I'm not even kidding you, it's probably like 500 yards away and then maybe 100 yards up, this bright orange light. And I'm like, what? It's right there, you know? So one thing that we noticed about the light when I was in Canab was that it would glow really bright. and it looked like something would pop out of the top. And whenever that little thing would go back in, it would glow right again. And it would, like, move around erratically.

So I get out of my car and I'm looking at this light and it starts moving towards me. So I jump in my car and I'm freaking out and I'm driving down the road. And I didn't pass a single person on my way from Ordeville to Canab, Canab to Orderville. and my series X-M radio starts going in and out, going in and out. And I'm like, okay, I'm going to get abducted by an alien. This is great. This is how I life ends. Like, this is how it's going to be.

And I drive probably 10 miles and I get almost to Orderville. Like I got to like the Welcome to Orderville sign. And I'm like, okay, I bet that light, I could see that light. from where I'm sitting like right here, you know. So I get out of my car and I look behind me and the light is right up there in the sky behind me. And I take another picture of it and that's when I capture something coming up out of the top of it. And that's when I mean, and it has just this weird, it's kind of, it's shaped like a teardrop kind of. But it's like it was changing.

It's the most bizarre thing I've ever seen in my life. And I turn around and I'm like, there it is, folks, you know. I'm like talking myself in the middle of the night out in my field, of course. But I'm like, there it is, guys. I don't know what it is. So I get back to my car and I drive into town and on my way to my house, I'm probably only four houses away from my house. and I look to my left, and right above the cemetery is that orange light again.

And it's clear. I live in a valley. It's a tiny little valley. And it's in the valley, and it's right above the cemetery. And I think when I took that video, you can see in my car that it says it's like 3.30 in the morning. you can see it on my dash and I'm listening to audio slaves so I haven't turned up kind of loud

and I roll my window down I'm like look there it is like there's that light again I don't know what it's doing it was so bizarre it was so weird so I get to my house and I get out of my car

try to look up there by the cemetery and see if it's there and it's gone and we have these huge white mountains that surround the Valley. And they probably go up to about 9,000 in elevation. And that light had gone from the cemetery all the way up to above the White Mountains. And, I mean, in a short amount of time, probably two minutes, a minute and a half of me driving to my house. It was so bizarre. And I get to

my room. I can see it from my room. And it's still moving around and it's still blinking. And it has those lights coming up out of it. And that was probably about, you know, through 30 in the morning. And I don't really remember after that. I remember waking up the next morning around 7 o'clock, 7.30. I don't remember getting into bed. I don't remember falling asleep. The Mufon, the guy that interviewed me for Mufon, you know, he's like, you had missing time.

I'm like, I did, but I don't want to admit that I had missing time because that's scary to me. Like, that weirds me out, you know. Like, so I did have a moment where I was sitting at the edge of my bed and I saw this light. And then it was morning. Like, you know, it was really bizarre. So you're saying you were at the edge of your bed and you saw the A light and then that's all you remember? Yeah. What kind of light are we talking about here?

Are we talking about a light that was in the sky like you were watching or a flash of light? Yeah, a light. You know what? It was just, yeah, I mean a bright light. It was just a light in the sky. And then I remember waking up in my bed. Then like a few hours later. I don't remember even getting into bed or anything.

and I don't know. It was totally bizarre. And I just like to tell myself I was so tired that I must have just crawled into bed. And, you know, I, you know, but he liked it. He specified that as missing time, the guy from Mouffe-on. And I was like, okay, man, whatever you say, you're the expert, I guess. But I don't know, I want to admit that because that's scary to me. you know. Have you ever

processed that in your mind since then? Have you ever come to a different conclusion or do you still tell yourself you don't, you didn't have missing time? I have, I acknowledge I have missing time. Yeah. Like, to me, from what I've had experience in my life, I guess. I do have,

I used to have a reoccurring dream when I was a child where I had a bright light shine through that because I'm in the same room that I was in when I was a little kid where I have the experience with you know my closet and the devil in my closet and and the the paranormal experiences I had when I was little little I'm back in that same room so is that what this happened yes interesting yeah but when I was little I used to have a reoccurring dream and nightmare that I had a bright light shine through the window. And it lived, something lifted me up. And I went through my window into the sky. I used to have a reoccurring nightmare about that when I was little. How old were you? I was probably about seven,

six or seven. What was your knowledge of, you know, missing time, abductions, aliens at that age? Um, this is about, this was before I had read that book. This is before I had, I, like, I don't know, the dream that I had, um, when I was little too, um, I actually had like a sleep, uh, I don't know what you'd call it. Um, I had an issue with my sleep. I would go from, because you have apparently different layers to your sleeping when you fall asleep. You go, it's like, you know, your first to your second to your third, you're fourth to REM sleep. And you have to go through all of these in order to sleep well, I guess. When I was little, I had to be taken in and had, they had analyzed my sleeping.

they put it like a cap on me and put little thickies on my head. And I apparently would go from the first to the second all the way down to REM. And then when I got to my REM, it was so deep that I couldn't wake back up again. And so they had to retrain me on my sleeping. And so I had a lot of issues with that when I was young. This is not what I was thinking was going to be talked about here in this kind of way, which is fine, obviously. I'm absolutely fine with that. Just because I'm sitting here thinking about, I think it was episode 78 when I did the interview with Ryan who spent his entire

life basically going through these missing time experiences, waking up with bruises on him, things like that. And yeah, and yeah, and I would sleepwalk as well too. See, there's a lot of similarities there. I would wake up outside out a lot, like. Yeah, see. And this, yeah. Because he, you had a hard time admitting that he had any kind of alien abduction. I think he was able to, he was able to admit that he had missing time, but the result of that missing time, he couldn't come to turns with. And I think he pretty much came to terms with it while we were recording for the show. Because when we were talking beforehand and stuff, he's like, I don't know, I don't know. And then by the end of the show, he's just like, yeah, yeah, I think I did.

Yeah. And he had a lot of different crazy stuff happened to him. and I know you and I talked and I you sent me the list on your email of everything that you had happened to you. You've had a lot of crazy things happened throughout your life, not just what we talked about so far. I just, I do wonder if these things are connected in any way. What are your thoughts on that? I totally agree. I know that you made a comment recently back about how, you know, there are some people with their life and they have absolutely nothing extraordinary happen to them. They grow up and they have these are stable

childhood and they have normal things happen to them. They go to school and they go to college and they get a degree and they have a job or they open a business and and that's their lives, you know, and that's how they live and that's how they exist. It's just solely off of you know, what's in front of them and I can, I attribute to like my father like my dad, and I'm actually adopted.

I've actually been really blessed throughout my life where my parents adopted me and my little sister. And, I mean, I was, I was like supposed to be born in, like, you know, in poverty in Mexico. And I came to, my parents paid this woman to come across the border to have me so they could adopt me. And so for me to be here and then I experience all this throughout my life, like, it's just really fascinating to really kind of look at a timeline or just kind of take a step back and look at a life and, you know, view it as how you want to, I guess. But, yeah, I've had a lot of crazy stuff happen to me throughout my life. And I still do have crazy stuff happen to me, like pretty life-changing stuff.

know, and that would probably, I don't know if it would break another person, but it makes me like grateful that I'm, you know, so blessed to have Jesus in my life and blessed that I have, you know, structure that I'm able to build off of, you know, and to have a faith and have a testimony and to know that the things that I've gone through has helped me get to where I'm at now, you know, and to be grateful for it that it happened, you know, as much as it was horrible when it did happen to be grateful that things have happened in my life to where I'm at now, you know? Yeah, absolutely. Well, I mean, I'm glad that, you know, throughout the things that happened in your life, whether it was, you know, self-inflicted or things that you really didn't

have control over, uh, that you did come out on top. I mean, like, or at least you're coming out on top, you know what I mean? Like life is a journey and we're, you know, constantly going through it till day we take our last, last breath. So, I mean, it's just like, We're here now. We don't know what's coming tomorrow, but the better we prepare today, the more we'll be able to handle tomorrow. So it's just being proactive about life. And a lot of people live their lives on default.

They just let things happen. Yeah. Because I don't know how old you are. I'm 33 years old. And when I was 23 years old, I wasn't the same person I am today. And I fully expect that when I'm 43, I'm going to be a different person than I am today. And I can either control. that change and, you know, try to be somebody I want to be or I can let that change happen by

default. But either way, it's going to happen. You're going to change. You're going to be a different person. That's just happened. That's just life. So that's right. That's right. Live and let live, man, you know, like it's not just about allowing us ourselves to forgive, but it's about allowing ourselves to move forward with life too. Because if you can't, because it's easy for people just be like, okay, well, that happened. I'm just going to allow, you know, let it be a thing, but take something from it, move forward on life, use the stepping stone, put it in your tool belt, and, uh, you know, next time, maybe, you know, I don't know, you know, but, uh, yeah, I know someone, like, when you were, like, some of those things

were self-inflicted and I was, like, thinking about, you know, getting involved in the occult and getting involved with Satanism and, um, yeah, why don't you go into that? how miserable my life was. I was totally and absolutely miserable, and I hated myself. And so when you hate yourself, you exuded upon everybody else, too. You know, you project it to everything. And I hate everybody and everything. And so it's amazing how, you know, and maybe it's not all the same with other Satanists.

I can't speak for them. But for me, you know, that's how it was for me. and how having a different view on life and having positivity has completely changed my life. When I was in, I actually was, I used to do seances when I was really, really young in my parents' home. And I feel like I contributed a lot to the paranormal activity that has happened in my home and it still happens today. I know I was going to ask you if you want me to send you that video. I have my, it's a, I was with my son and he was just playing in the mud, and I'm like, yay, you know, it was fun.

And we were home alone. The neighbors were gone. Nobody is around. And you can clearly hear a man speaking with a Louisiana accent, like in the background of this video and at the time I didn't hear it. And so when I replayed it, I'm like, that's bizarre. Okay. You know, this just happened, you know, last year. And I'm like, oh, crap. Like, I should really, you know, apply some of those positive thinking and, um, my values to really need, like getting rid of all these things that I've brought into this home, into my home. And so

like, I got rid of my tarot cards and I got rid of my tarot cars and I got rid of my, my spellbook and I got rid of my pendulum and, and, uh, you know, I, it's, I feel like it's made a big difference in my, in my family's life, in my family's home, you know, and, um, we did this, we did this one seance and this was up at the, uh, uh, it was like in the abandoned elementary school in Orderville. And, um, we, there's three of us and we, we, we, we, we, We each wrote a wish. This is what I wrote. We said we wrote a wish that we wanted something to happen in our lives.

And my one friend, she wished that a boy that we knew would get acne because she hated him so much. And my other friend wished that her boyfriend would come back to her. And we cut ourselves and like drip blood onto the paper. and we burned it. And this is when I had like zero idea of how rituals worked. I had no idea. I hadn't read anything along those lines. And we have, all three of us have suffered from really late-term miscarriages.

And my last friend, my friend who wished, for the boy to have acne. She lost her baby a couple years ago. And, and, you know, I don't know, call it a coincidence, you know. And I lost a child when I was about six months pregnant and so did in my other friend. I'm not going to say their names. They know who they are. I don't even know if they listen to this podcast or not, but out of respect for them, you know.

I don't want to say their names, but one of the coincidence is that we would perform literally a blood ritual and all three of us would lose you know, our children at a very, very late, late term, you know, I found that

really, that struck with me, that struck, you know, that really resonated with me because I'm like, this is real, you know, this is real stuff and it will affect your life and it will really affect your life to a point where you don't want to deal with it. Because after I lost that child, I really turned to drugs and alcohol pretty bad. I used to be a pretty bad meth addict and heroin and anything anybody had. You know, I used to shoot up and that was my thing.

But, you know, that was a long time. ago. You know, Sarah, what was the thing that you wanted to do? You told me what your friends wanted, but I don't think you said what you wanted. I didn't say what I didn't say. I wish to be beautiful. That's what I wished. I wanted to be pretty.

I had really low self-esteem and had like a really horrible self-image of myself, which I could say probably because of, you know, adoption. and, you know, I think I went through when I was a kid, you know, abuse, and I had a really low self-image, but what's important is that now I've been able to really learn that it's not just how you look, but it's how you treat others and how you talk to yourself, you know, your self-coaching voice and how you talk to yourself and how you treat other people kind of. if you're not genuine with the mistakes you made or you're not genuine with yourself, you're not going to be genuine with anyone else.

So that's what I wish for. It's so, it's so, oh, petty, though. I get it. You know? I really do get it. I mean, people wouldn't, probably people wouldn't guess it. But when I was a kid, I struggled with the same kind of stuff. I was picked on all the time.

In fact, I lived in a really rough neighborhood. And I'm not even kidding you. almost every day of my life, I was in a fight with somebody. And I wasn't starting fights. Kids picked on me and it got to the point where is either you going to let them beat you up or you're going to start defending yourself. And for 10 years in my life, it was like that. And that takes a toll on you.

And it was a lot of racism. And so I'm Puerto Rican, but my mom's white. And so, like, I lived in a trailer park with a bunch of kids that were just, you know, mean kids. And they called me every racist name under the sun. And when, I can relate to that. that. Yeah, when I moved to a new school district, I was my ninth grade year, just going into high school, I moved to a whole different school district. I was new start. I was so messed up mentally that I would wear all black clothing because I thought it made my skin look lighter. And so, I mean, like,

myself. I'm not laughing at you. I can relate. I can relate. I know how you feel. That's exactly what I did. I used to be Gothic. Like, it's sad. Like, crazy gossip. Well, I was like, I was a hip-hop head, but I just made sure I wore all black because I just, I needed, I just wanted to fit in. I was so desperate. And it took me, it took me about halfway through my high school years to really finally kind of let go of my past. And I never really truly let go. In fact, even today, I still struggle with my past of my childhood and stuff. But I finally was able to kind of let go in a sense of socializing with other people and stuff. And, uh, you know, so I mean, you take the kid that I was and I mean, that's just a segment

of my life, but I mean, you take the kid that I was to the person I am today and, you know, right. People change. Like I said, people change. And, and life moves on and so will you. It's a matter of what you want to do with it. Right. Yeah.

I mean, um, see, yeah, I, I grew up in an all white town. I was the only brown kid, you know, so I can relate to what you're saying. One of my nicknames was. brownie. Yeah, right. I mean, I was called like Mexican mafia. And I'm like, yeah, that's me. One brown kid in Ordo. Like, that's Mexican mafia. Like, watch out. I'll stab you with my butterfly knife, you know, like back up. You know, I grew up, like, really angry. And I grew up, you know, hating myself and how I looked. And I used to wear all black and, like, do the black nail polish and dye my hair like super dark like blue black and i was also into sports too and i played

basketball and volleyball and i was in like uh all of the schools like f f f fcLA and f f f f f l a and f l a you know like the school things they have yeah it was ridiculous i'm so glad high school's over like um i see people all the time from high school and i'm like hey i'm okay now like thanks for sticking around guess, like, you know, I'm okay now. I'm like, I'm happy now. So you guys can approach me and say hi. So it's funny. Yeah. I, I, I find humor in it because I have to find humor and everything, you know, so. Sure. So, I mean, like, your childhood was, I'm assuming your experience with, you know, your paranormal experiences as a little kid, uh, where before the Satanism that you, uh, took up, Which, to be honest with you, I would say that you picking up Satanism probably had a lot to do with your own self-image.

You know, and so it is what it is. But why don't you let us know, you know, what happened here when you were younger and you thought that the devil would come for you? Yeah. Well, I mean, I was a really, really young kid. I mean, I was really young, and I'm in the same room I'm in now, except that the bed is on the other side of the wall. And every night I had to have my parents stand at the door and wait until I fall asleep because, I mean, I was convinced, but I mean, I knew that the devil would, like, would come for me at night. he would come, like, out of my closet at night. And then while he came out of my closet at night, he would, like, hurt me.

He would, if I had my, if I had a lake sticking out, like, I would get pinched. I would wake up from being, and sometimes it felt like a, like, like, a bird. Like, it felt like someone who had been matched to me. I, it's really when I can't explain it or, like, I don't know if you've ever, like, like, I use a lighter and held the end to the light to the metal and then press it against you. Like, I used to do that. And that's kind of how it was the sharp shooting pain. And I used to wake up and I'd tell my parents, you know, I'm like, the devil, you know,

something comes out of my closet at night and hurts me. And if I have my, if I have a leg sticking out, it'll hurt me. And so I used to, and I still do to this day, like, I still can't have a leg sticking out. I can't have, I don't know. And it, um, and like, just like when I was a kid, I used to turn my, my back to the room. And I was faced the wall because it would, I, it would be there. I could see a dark shadow in my room at night. And, um, and it seems like it's how I'll come.

This all happened before I had my sleep issues, before I started having issues with my sleep. And it was before all that happened. And then I started having issues in my sleep. And I would sleepwalk. And I would have night terrors. And I would wake up screaming, you know, or I'd wake up. up outside and it's um you know it's just like waking up at 333 in the morning um there's a different kind of fear that's associated with waking up at in a different place you know like

waking up outside you know that's scary like that's it's to me it filled me with the most intense fear, you know, I've ever had. And my sister, and I have, and I haven't had this in a long time. And I used to have sleep paralysis, too. And I absolutely hate my sleep paralysis, because it's the same every time. And I, I can't not, you know, I used to have it maybe three or four times a month. And I have found something that helps me, you know, now that it's not so, it's, you know, it's not like a narcotic, you know, it's like for sleep, you know, that my psychiatrist has had me take and so far I haven't had any issues. I still do have, I had sleep paralysis once, maybe about two months ago, but it's nothing like it used to be, you know,

and it's like when I would get stressed or disassociate and be stressed out that it would happen. But I see a therapist and I talk to somebody and so I don't really get too stressed out like I used to. But so, yeah, the sleep paralysis was absolutely, it's absolutely frightening. And I was waking up outside, you know, for me. Like I even when I used to wake up in bed and my, the bottom of the my feet would hurt because I had been walking around outside, you know, and with no shoes on. And we have gravel, you know, everywhere. And that's, it's creepy because you're like, I went somewhere.

I don't remember being there and I'm, you know, or I got out here. I don't remember getting up out of bed and getting here. And so, you know, it was based on fear, too. You know, based my life on fear, you know, and it was really scary. experience. Yeah, I can imagine. I mean, I've never experienced sleep paralysis and stuff, but I've heard enough people talk about it that I don't think I want to go through it. No, absolutely not. I would not wish that upon anybody. And for me, it's the same every time, too. And so it's not like, it's weird. It's so bizarre. And I don't know. I feel like a lot of it's

because of the occult, honestly. A lot of it's based off of doorways that've opened for myself in the past and trying to get rid of my so-called demons, I guess, you know. Well, I mean, there's things that happened to you before you took up the occult that are pretty significant. I mean, you feel like things, you know, pinching your leg and things like that. I mean, there's something physically coming on to you. at an early age. And that's why I wonder with like all this different stuff, because I mean, I don't put anything

off the table when it comes to all these different experiences people have and stuff. And, you know, some of the things that sometimes I wonder, are they, you know, related, the UFO experiences you've had along with the paranormal experiences, along with you eventually turning into, go into the occult for a little bit. I mean, are they all connected some way? The fact that your grandfather was friends with Travis Walton, who was a logger, with him. I wanted to ask you about that. Do you know if your grandfather was one of the guys that was in the truck with him, or was he just a guy that worked with them? I don't think he was one

of the old guys that was with the truck. You know what? I don't know, honestly, like, they don't really, the one thing in my family is we don't really talk about my great grandpa, you know, it wasn't until I had my experience with the lights that I did, that I even had them opening up to me. And that's when they told me, you know, he, When he died, it was, he died in absolute shame because he was a UFO enthusiast and he was an alcoholic and he built a landing station for UFOs on his property up in the mountain, you know, and people made fun of him and it was this big joke, you know. And so I feel like my family kind of like hid that from me because they did hide it from me

until I started talking them about these lights and stuff. And that's when actually my mom was telling me, well, first of all, my mom mentioned to me about, I told her the story about, you know, my other story out at the cane beds. And she's like, well, you know, Bigfoot are supposedly interdimensional beings. I'm like, oh, you believe in Bigfoot. You never told me. How dare you?

I was like, of course they're interdimensional, you know, or talking to her. And I was like, this is how much my family has been closed off about it. They don't even talk about it, you know. And my mom was telling me that when she was really young, see, my grandma, my grandma, which would be my, you know, my great-grandfather's daughter, right? So she was going to take when my mother and her brothers and sisters were really, really young, she was going to take them all the California to Mount Shasta to a bigfoot convention in the 60s and 70s, or the late 60s, early 70s.

And I'm like, what are you talking about? Like, where in Mount Shasta? I didn't even know anything about it at the time. And she's like, oh, yeah, well, we were going to do it. But, you know, she got threatened to, that they would take away her kids, you know, take away us if she left out of state with us. And I'm like, what? Thanks for telling me. Like, I'm not crazy that, you know, I was somehow, I somehow was able to find my way to this stuff without their guidance, you know, too much, you know, except for when my grandma told me about firing this guy when I was little.

I still found my way to it, you know. I still have found my way to it and have my experience. And even sharing about it, like, because I actually showed quite a few people the lights a video, because I'm like, hey, if you have a better theory about what you think this is, please share with me because I'm open to hearing what people have to say. And a lot of people are like, oh, it's a drone.

It's a drone, you know. I'm like a drone, why would it follow me all the way from Canab to Ordoville? Like, that's a waste of money. Like, I'm the most boring person. Like, they could ever do to follow, you know. I was like, I, you know, I'm sober. I chair, you know, A.A. and N.A. meetings. Like, I'm pretty sure they could follow much more interesting people than me, the cops.

And, you know, and I, you know, I told them, I'm like, What is it? You know, I opened it up, you know, to people I work with. I'm like, what do you think it is? You know, and people like, I don't know. I don't know, Sarah. They're like, what do you think it is? I'm like, I don't know either. It's an unidentifiable flying object is what it is to me, you know? And I think it's funny. Yeah. You know, what I find interesting, too, a couple of things. One, it turns out my dad, you know, used to listen to Arbel and coast to coast and the truck at night when he drives because he's a truck driver too. And I never knew that myself until I started looking in the Bigfoot. And I told my family that I was really serious about it and stuff.

And my dad's like, oh, yeah, you should check out this guy. I'm like, who are, what, what, hold on a second, you know. Exactly. He's the one he told me about Lauren told me. You know, like, the audacity of you. Yeah, I mean, like, I didn't know. so new at looking into this stuff. I didn't know who anybody was and Lauren Coleman is a really, you know, well-known person. And my dad's like, yeah, you should definitely look into Lauren Coleman.

He's got a lot of great stuff. And I'm just like, all right, I'm just like eating it up, you know, but my dad was, he was, he listens to this podcast. I mean, he's going to hear me talking about this. You know, like, he loves listening to this stuff while he was driving his truck, but I find it interesting that these things that you've experienced, um, and they kind of correlate with your family in a sense, but yet they're not blood. And that's what I find interesting. I know. Yeah, exactly. And I mean, what are the chances? I mean, you know, I would end up in this family and I would still have the same type of experiences without even knowing how

in-depth these guys were or how or anything. And I remember showing the video to my aunt Connie. and I was like, well, I contacted Mufon. I'm like, do you know what Mufon is? And she's like, of course I know what Mufon is. I'm like, oh, okay, okay, didn't mean to, you know. I'm like, of course you know what it is. Of course, everybody knows what Mufon is. Like, not really, but she said it like, of course I know, you know.

So I'm like, of course you do, right, exactly, moving on, show. This is what I taught. And, you know, it's, I mean, this is just, you know, something that's been a part of the family that they didn't want to talk about. So I showed the light, the video to my, my aunt Connie and to my aunt Valerie and to my parents. And they had told my grandma about it. And I, because I hadn't mentioned it to my grandma yet, you know, or anything. because I wasn't like going around town like, everybody look at what I've got, you know?

I wasn't really broadcasting it all over town. But so my grandma came down to the house and was like, I heard that you saw something. And I'm like, and at first I didn't really understand what she meant, you know. I was like, what did I see? And she's like, I don't know. And she just points to the sky and her eyes go all big. And I'm like, oh, yeah, yes, I did see something.

And yeah, you know, and like that, you know, she didn't even want to say it out loud, you know, like that's, you know, she didn't want to say it out loud because maybe she had said it out loud in the past and she'd been berated for it or made fun of or, you know, cut down and made the feel or been disrespectful over it. And I just felt so bad about how she, you know, did that make sense, I guess? Yeah, absolutely. You know, she didn't even want to say that loud, but she was really, really intrigued by it and talking about it with her. She was telling me about my basketball coach in high school and about how he had witnessed a huge orange light of 20 up on Cedar Mountain where I had worked at the gas station. I met Mr. Bendernagle and they had. had an orange light follow them, she said, and she said that it scared the pants off of them. She said they were so scared.

And I was like, that's so bizarre that it's like an orange light, you know, and I saw, you know, an orange light. And I was telling my boss about it, this lady that I worked with. And she told me that she had also seen an orange light in the sky in this area, except they were down further south, in Arizona up on the Chayabab National Park like the which is you know just a little bit north of snowflake basically and

so this is like a common thing around here where people see an orange line I guess I wasn't aware of that you know I didn't know anything about it until it happened to me and people shared with me their experience my boss she told me about an experience she had

that was Bigfoot related. And she's like, I don't know what it was. I don't know what it was. But this is what happened. She's like, but I don't know what she threw her hands in the air. I just don't know what it was. I just don't know what it could have been, you know. And it's just funny people's reaction to admitting something bizarre had happened,

but not wanting to place what it is that caused it. And that's kind of a common theme I see with people. where they're just like, this something bizarre totally happened, but who knows what it was? Like, let's not place the finger on it because, you know, once you start saying things like Bigsa or UFO, people like speculate and they draw their own conclusion and maybe it's a hurtful conclusion and maybe they're disrespectful about it, you know, which is something that comes along with XA and UFOs anyway. You know, you mentioned it just a few minutes ago, and I want you to get into it because

you told me personally, but you haven't told it for the audience. But before you get into how you met, you know, Dr. Bendernagle, because that's actually a pretty big deal. Because then you can, from that, I want you to segue into your possible Bigfoot experience. I know you want to, you know, probably refer to it as possible, but I don't know what else it could have been. Right. Yeah.

Before you get into that, I wanted to ask you, you have these experiences. and they range from paranormal to UFO and, you know, we speculated, you know, where, where's the line between the two and things like that? But what are the freaking odds of your grandfather working with Travis Walton, the most famous UFO abductee probably ever? And you having these experiences in your life, you know, like your grandfather is such a big foot or a UFO enthusiast that he built a freaking landing pad on his property. You know, like this, like, obviously what happened to Travis Walton, he believed and it affected him deeply.

And to have you, his great-granddaughter, have all these experiences, that something tells me your family has more experiences than they're leading on. Oh, definitely. I totally agree. And I, um, I don't know how to make them tell me. You know, um, one thing about. Travis Walton, and I think I shared it with you right before we started the interview, but one thing that my great-grandpa always said about Travis Walton was that he was stranger

than a $3 bill. That's what he used to always say. And whatever experience Travis had and that he shared with my grandpa, I mean, I feel I feel like that's what maybe started his enthusiasm for it. I don't know. There's no speculation because I actually never met him because he passed away before I was born.

But, you know, like, what are the odds that he had such a, you know, he was so enthusiastic about UFOs and he worked with Travis Wallen and knew him, you know. Enough that he came home and told his family about it because my grandma knew about it. My grandma was the one that told me about it, you know. I mean, I feel like it had a deep, deep impact on him, you know,

and I feel like that because of that deep impact, that's what maybe boosted him towards being so involved in it, too. Or even having his own experiences. I feel like he probably had his own experiences, like judging, you know, based off of how he was and how, how, um, how these things can affect you, you know, because when I had my experience, and this is kind of something to move on guys shared with me, was that he's like, well, you know, a lot of people would use this as a moment in their life to, I guess, really hold on to Christianity. It's a spiritual moment for them.

it becomes like spiritual you know and after I had the the lights the experience I just wanted to just share this really fast because I forgot to mention it too I had nightmares the next day and I it was a nightmare I'm going to I am I am I am not the next night I was so scared to shut my eyes I had all the lights on in my room. And I was just, I was really scared. I was still with fear for shutting my eyes and having some weight and opening them up and seeing something standing next to me. And I, and I had a dream.

And in my dream, and maybe it wasn't a dream, but I'm going to take it as a dream because it was, well, a nightmare. and I, in my, in my dream, I saw it was, in my mind, it's really frustrating. There were nine grades in my room and each one took up a central square on the floor that glowed. and they were in silver like wearing like a silver type of outfit and they only reached just right above the doorknob in my room and there was four and four and four it was rare because there was four and then there was four and then there was three but then there was one right next to me it was and in my mind I was like there are nine here but I only saw eight I don't even know how to how to explain that um because I felt like it was like I don't know it was really scary and I in my in my room I have like a table against the the wall next to me like across the wall

and it was like there was one there was one two three four So there were four central against the wall across from me. And it was like the one clear in the corner of my table was. It was like inside the table. Like it was standing there. And it was the table was still there. And it was standing there inside the table. I guess that does that make sense?

like the table didn't exist but the picture of it still did the image of it and it was able to stand there like in the table and and then I yeah for in my mind I I I respond in my head there are nine in here but I only seen eight and it still is so confusing and it's really bizarre to me and I don't understand what that meant. I don't, I want to believe it was a nightmare. After that, I couldn't sleep. I, I, I don't know, it was bizarre. And after that, I really, really, really turned to my scriptures. I started praying more. and I started because I was looking on YouTube and I saw a meditation to reject astral beings. And I did this meditation and I haven't had anything like that happened to me again, honestly. I haven't had that fear come back up for me like I did in my room when I was alone in my room. Like, it was the strangest thing.

I can still see it in my head, too, as I'm talking about it, but, and all four of them, they look like copies standing in a row, standing in a row, and then the one that was right next to me. But in my mind, I was thinking, there are nine of them here. I don't know why I thought that. Like, and it's so confusing to me. But we can move past that, though. So because we won't do. No, I actually want to ask you a question.

Do you remember anything other than that experience? I mean, did they touch you? Was there any physical interaction? I don't think so. I don't know. Thinking about it, like I'm talking about it right now. And like, I'm sweating. Like, all of a sudden just started to, like, sweat really bad talking about it.

Like, I think out of anxiety and I don't know, fear, because I've never experienced anything like that before, like, had that kind of imagery. Even if it was a dream in my mind come up for me, I haven't ever had that. And I'm like, like, when I was emailing you and I was. sharing with somebody for the first time the incident I had out at Canebed. I was sweating then, too. I was like having anxiety, writing it down and reliving that moment. And this is the first time I've actually shared this with anybody, too, this, like this dream experience I had, a dream memory.

I don't know what, I felt when, actually now that you, I feel like it had, it was reconcincter. towards me. Like, that's what in my mind the fear came from was the one right next to me reaching towards me. Um, yeah. And then you woke up? I woke up. Yeah. Was I asleep? I, I don't know. I don't, I don't know. Like, I, I almost don't want to, like, admit that, because I was up. I was up all night and I was scared to blink. Like, I was scared to blink. Like, I was scared to shut my eyes. I didn't want to sleep. I couldn't sleep. I was so filled with fear, but I, I, I, I don't know, maybe I, I just fell asleep and I, and I have this dream memory of this happening, but I know that dreaming about one, I said, in my mind, I said, there are nine here, but I only saw eight, and so

it's, it's, it's thinking back on it, you know, and so it's confusing. I don't understand what that mean. But that reaching towards me, scared me. I can, I mean, I can understand, you know, the confusion in the whole thing. How long ago did this happen again? This happened in June. So very recently. Yeah. Yes. And remind me early in your life when you were sitting at the edge of your bed,

you saw the light and then you wake up the next day. Uh, how, how long ago was that from now? Um, so I was, I'm actually sitting here thinking about it. And it had to have been before I was five because my sister was not in the room. And my sister and I shared a room when they adopted her and I was five when they adopted her. So this is, this is when I was really, really small. And then after that, when I was baptized and I was eight, I was already having my sleep issues. Um, Um, so I don't, me, I don't know, like, I asked my family, I'm like, do you remember when I used to do that? And they said, you always had trouble sleeping.

You've always had trouble sleeping. And I'm like, no, but I'm like, have you like, like, remember me saying that you? I remember having that fear when I was a kid. And they were like, they didn't, they said they didn't remember me saying that. And I'm like, you know, I know I remember waking up in the night and seeing, and you know what, seeing dark shadows. And I'm 32 years old. And I have to have a nightlight on when I sleep because I have had fear at the dark for a long, long time in my life. And it really all started then.

I used to have very, I used to have nightlights. that I had to have a nightlight when I was little, but definitely now. You know, I think there's going to be a lot, there's a lot of stuff that, I mean, you may never want to do this, but if you want to kind of, if you get to the point where you want to really kind of get down to the nitty gritty of things, I think there's a lot of things that you're going have to consider and consider seriously to really figure out if it was just a dream or if maybe it was something more. Because if you just told me that story, if you said, if you emailed me that story and that's it, that's the only thing you had to tell me, I probably wouldn't even

have you on the show because it's just like, okay, well, it's probably a dream, you know? But when you take that and pair it up with everything else you've experienced, everything else throughout your life and all the things. It's like now you're looking at it as is one related to the other. And it's like you got to actually try to figure out if you can put it in a timeline, you know, where it's like, you know, you put it from beginning to end and you still and you actually sit back and you look at it. at it and you're like, where are the comparisons here? Are there comparisons? But that takes, you know, you wanting to do that. And you may not want to do that. Because it sounds like sometimes hearing you talk, you're just like, listen, I have these stories, I have these experience, but I don't

know how deep I want to get into figuring it out. So, you know? Well, yeah, I mean, I, I, I, I, yeah, you know, like the, like the spiritual aspect of it, like the paranormal aspect of it. Like, you know, that's, that's scary stuff. Like when it happens to, you know, like, we see things move when like, because like, something that used to happen a lot was our radio would come on every morning, every morning at 3 o'clock in the morning, the radio in our kitchen would come on, you know. Like, that doesn't happen anymore, but it happened for a long, long, long time. And not like every day, you know.

It was always the same time at 3 o'clock in the morning. And, you know, I attribute that I have, I feel like I have attachments. I feel like I've had attachments since I was really young. Because I have always had this feeling of, I mean, I want to say, the things happen, like when I'm around. Sometimes, I, sometimes I feel like I'm haunted. You know, like, I'm a person that's haunted. Yeah, I understand.

Like, sometimes when I, I mean, you know, and using a Ouija board when I was a kid, you know, and how people say that Ouija boards aren't real. Like, I know there are some people that were on your show, even talking about when they were, their parents allowed them to use Ouija boards as a kid. And I was like, I'm so grateful. I never did that when I was really, really young, you know.

And I only did it when I was a teenager, I guess. It couldn't be grateful for anything. But, yeah, you know, like that, the dream I had when it came to the life I saw and the missing time. And, like, to me, that stuff is just like, you know what? I don't remember what happened when I had missing time, you know. I don't remember what happened. And if I'm not supposed to remember it, then I'm just going to let it be

and let that just be how it is. When it comes to like that dream, you know, I had, I don't know, you know, if I wanted to open up my mind and admit that something that these things came to me at night, because sometimes, and I don't know if this makes, you know, sometimes I wake up

and I feel like I've had I've had like a breathing tube in my nose. And, and like, I'm like, you know, and I was in jail, actually, and I had instances happened to me there, too. And I'm like, this is a jail, you know, nothing can happen to me here yet I have this, this instance, these things happen. And I had paranormal had things happen to me in jail, too. I had

We You know This is a brand new jail We had here We had We would see a dark shadow at night When all Because we are the women

Are in 24 hour booking So there's no pod for the women Um We would see a dark shadow moving around You know And this is This I feel like I'm haunted You know

Like I said And And I don't know And then I You know Like The fact that I You know

about like John Vendernagle, you know, and I, at the time, I was like, this guy is a Cookey Dukes, you know, like, Bigfoot, you're silly, like this great, this sweet little old man. Sorry? How'd you go about meeting him? How'd that whole thing unravel? So I was working at a gas station upon Cedar Mountain called Todd's Country Store, and which helped me to remember all this stuff. the um how this happened um i couldn't remember john's last name i couldn't remember who he was

but i remember he gave me a card which i threw away oh i wish i would have never thrown it away but i remember distinctly being like this guy is crazy and throwing into the trash and um so he was telling me that he was there that he had had uh people have sightings up on the mountain where I used to live up in Duck Creek Village. And he was coming in to the gas station where I worked, and he would, like one day I was trying to fix the ice cream machine, right? And this man is like super intelligent. Like he has two PhDs.

He's like, he's an extremely intelligent man. And I'm like trying to explain him. Like, so this machine is broken. But I think it's because I need to like, fifth. this little thing here, and, like, I'm explaining to him, because he's like, what's wrong, you know? And I'm sitting there, like, I have no idea how the machine works, but I'm telling him how I think it works. And he's like, actually, this machine runs off of a, you know, and he explained the entire thing to me. And, like, he was all excited with the way he talked, because the way that he, the way that he, when he would talk to you and communicate, he was like, and then, you know, he was so guberant with life.

with the way he talked. And can you reach his hand up in there and he pulled out a plug and it completely drained the machine? And I'm like, I'm like, how did you know how to do that? You know? I'm like, wow, you must be smart guy, you know? And now I know it's because he's like extremely intelligent,

like, you know, has, you know, an amazing education and probably knew how the whole machine ran. And I'm sitting there explaining to him, you know, and he's like, this poor simple child. And so anyway, he was telling me about the sightings that there were up on the mountain. He was asking me if I ever had any kind of experience up on the mountain. And I was like, no, man, like, that's not real, you know. And, like, actually, we had an instance where we were all sitting outside in the middle of the night.

and that creek has a huge meadow. And we heard something running through the meadow, and we were like, oh, that's just a bear on two legs running, you know, because we were all drunk at the time. And I was telling them, I'm like, we didn't hear a bear running on his two legs in the meadow once. He's like, you know that there's run on all fours. And we're like, oh, well, this one is on its back legs running.

Like, and then, like, now I'm thinking, like, I wonder how he was, like, this stupidest person on the face of the planet, like, because, um, bears don't run on their back legs. I don't think they do anyway, still, like, but he, and so we're, I was telling him that experience, and I'm, like, arguing with him, like, no, I'm pretty sure it was a bear, man, like, you know, bears are around here. Like, we don't have a lot of bears. I'm pretty sure it was a big bear, and, and, and, and, and, and, And anyway, it was hilarious. And so I met him and his wife and his grandkids. And his grandkids would come in and get ice cream. And that time I'm with the ice cream machine and stuff. And so I couldn't remember his name after I... Well, I mean, I was listening to... Gosh, I think it was your show.

And I was listening to... Okay. So, okay, now, okay, now I remember. So I finally admitted to myself that I had possibly had a Bigfoot encounter out of Cane Beds. And so I typed in Utah Bigfoot. And I'm pretty sure it was a, gosh, it might have been you. I can't really recall. It might have been Nathan Rio.

what was it, Nathan? It might have been Nathan Rio. If you were on... Yes, that was it. Yeah, because... Yes, that was it. Yeah, because his YouTube channel was Utah Sasquatch. Yes, Utah Sasquatch.

And so I was like, oh, man, cool. So I was listening to it. And you guys are talking about Todd standing, right? And his photos or his videos or something. And I'm like, oh, Todd. I'm like, that was the name of the guy that I met because a place I was working at was called Top Country Store, right? And I'm like,

Todd Standing must be the guy that I met. And so I typed in Todd Standing into YouTube and the first video that popped up, it showed John Bindernagle and he was talking and I'm like, that's the guy that I met. I was like, oh my gosh, that's the dude. And I was like, wait, his name and I literally didn't even, I couldn't even know how to say his last name.

And so I typed in, like, John Bindernagle into Sasquatch Chronicles. And then I found out that he had passed away and I was so sad about it. And so that same day, I had a job interview at a rehab down the road. And so I decided, because I hadn't even driven on that cane bed's road, haven't even been back out there. I've been out there twice now since that incident. happened. And so the whole way down, I listened to Wes when he was, like, talking about him passing away and, and the stories that he had and the people that would come on and talk about

John. And it was just a pretty cool experience for me to be listening about John Bendernagle when I had met him years ago about Bigfoot and driving past a place where I had my Bigfoot experience. And so I was like, okay. you know like and then i you know i wrote to you about it and i wrote to west as well but um yeah so uh that was just crazy how that how that happened too and i remember looking down at john's card his business card just being like i should keep this and i'm like i'm pretty sure i was probably hung over at the time i was like a huge alcoholic then it was horrible alcoholic that was a functioning alcoholic, which is the worst.

And I threw it away. And I was just, oh, I wish I hadn't done that, but it happened. It is what it is. But he really is one of the coolest guys, though, that I've ever met, you know. And he was telling me about how he's a wildlife biologist and how, you know, he loves being outdoors. And at the time, I remember. I'm asking about trees and, like, different tree formations or something like that along the... I'm not really educated in, I don't know what you'd say, big footology, so Sasquatch.

Most people are. Yeah, and I... And so I... Yeah, I didn't really know much about it. And at the... Now, I would know a little bit more, you know. I've listened to a few of Fast-Swatch Chronicles, and I understand there are different, like, tree formations that they do,

or they make stuff with trees or that they, like, you know. Yeah. So I want to. It was a very neat experience. It was a very neat experience. I mean, what are the odds that, you know, you're going to have, you have all these experiences and you run into John Bendernagle at the gas station that you worked at, and he helps you fix a machine that was broken.

And everything that you said about. John is everything. I've never met with him. I've never had a chance to talk to him. But I've heard, you know, countless stories about John and everything I've heard matches up exactly with what you just said. The kindest person wants to help where it can and very just enthusiastic about life. And he was like that until the day he died. He was like that until the day he died. And so it's a very cool story, very cool story. And I want, since you mentioned it, I want to get into this possible Bigfoot experience you had. But I keep going back, but I just want to ask you one more question about this whole your great-grandfather connected to Travis Walton thing.

Now, I know, I think it might have been before we started recording that you couldn't remember your great-grandfather's name. And I just, I just want to read off to you the names of the men that were there that night and just tell me if any of them sound familiar to you. there's Ken, Ken, John, Steve, Alan, and Dwayne. Any of those sound familiar? Uh-uh.

Okay. My grandpa's last name was Hoyt, too. Okay, that's not one of those guys. H-O-Y-T. Gotcha. I think his name was Elda. Like I said, it's like a weird Mormon name.

Because me and my family are all members of the Church of Latter-day Saints, so. Gotcha. Yeah, I just wanted to read those names off to you to see if any of them ring a bell. And because I was going to say, what are the freaking eyes? If it did, I literally, I would, I would throw my phone and break it, Tony. I really would like, if it was him, I would seriously be like, well, I got to go, like, run my phone over with my car because that would just be the most astounding thing. I don't know why I would guess I would do that, but it would be so astounding to me. It would be awesome, though. Yeah. So talk to us about this Bigfoot experience.

I know that you had it with, I think you said your boyfriend, you and him stopped to get cigarettes or something like that. Right. Well, he's actually the father of my two kids, my two youngest kids, and he's not around. I don't have anything to do with him. We don't talk. He doesn't visit his children.

Not trying to malign him. I guess the bad is maligning him. I'm sorry. It is what it is. But at the time, I used to be very in love with him. and we were together, and this was when this was about three, four years ago. So first you got to explain the back cuddy roads here in this pot-dunk town we have. So there's a road that it's kind of back then, it was just a straight dirt road.

And it went from all the way from Arizona, 389 to Utah, 89, like U.S. safety nine, like the main highway. And so back then, it was just a dirt road that people would take that you could get down to like the big city a lot faster because like we don't have a Walmart here. We don't have like Taco Bell here. We don't have, you know, JC Penny. We have like two grocery stores and a dollar store and like that's it. You know, and we have like, Wendy's and McDonald's. And that's what this town is. Consist of, like, we don't have

tow for code. We've got to get other stuff. We've got to go now with St. George, Utah. And so there's this cutty road, and we call it the Cane Bed Road, because it goes through Cane Bed, Arizona, and which is, I don't know if you're familiar with, who's right next to Colorado City, where Warren Jeff is from,

who he's a polygamous of the FLDS Church, and he had that compound down in Texas that was like for all the kids went in state custody because he was like okay anyways Colorado City polygamous you go right past there they're all there I'm not trying that you know they have their beliefs and I respect that you do whatever you want with your life you know it's not my um but so um my ex he grew up in Colorado City his mother and his family are polygamous. So they actually got kicked out of Colorado City by Warren Jeff, the Steve family when he was really young. And they moved up to, uh, Cedar Mountain where I met John Bender Nagle Lake of that area. So him and his family moved out there.

But he grew up and there was a little kid down that area for a while. And when he was in that area, cane beds and stuff, his family, and this is what he shared with me. This is what he told me that as a kid, you don't go out past dark. You know, this is haunted. The canyons are haunted. But I guess like, oh, man, you know, it's just haunted.

You don't go out past dark. You don't go play in the hills past dark. You don't even go up in the hills during the day without, you know, complete supervision because without supplies or anything because strange things can happen and you could end up dying really easily here. So that happens a lot here, actually. There's a place called The Wave in Arizona. And there's about three or four deaths a year there.

And it's all like considered to be like Indian burial grounds and sacred land. And that's also out of cane beds too. Um, so we were driving along, uh, the, on the dirt road. And this is probably once again, it's really late. Um, uh, three o'clock in the morning, I, you know, things happen to me a lot at three o'clock in the morning. They call it the witching hour, or whatever, some nonsense. But things happen at night.

And, you know, and so we were driving along this road. We were in his Toyota truck, like a 19-8. I googled it just to see how much it weighed because I'm like, I was curious. So we're driving along this road. And I was like, I'm like, hey, you should stop. We should pull up in this canyon right here and smoke a cigarette. And he's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. This is you.

You know, my mom raised us knowing, you know, we don't go out here at night. You don't go up in the canyons at night. You don't do any of that. You don't mess around with this stuff. And I'm like, whatever, pussy. Like, you're going to let your mom's little bedtime stories, like, scare you, you know. Come on, be a man. Let's just pull off inside the road and have a cigarette.

And he's like, you don't call me that, you know, whatever. So we pull off on the side of the road. And we go up in this canyon and we park next to this big rock. and we get out. And the first thing we noticed, and this is like, I mean, we step out of the truck, middle of nowhere, okay, this is literally like, I mean, the road itself, from one road to the next, it takes an hour and a half to drive this road, you know, an hour, an hour to drive on this road. So this is, there's nothing out there.

I mean, it's just wilderness. It's the desert. It's these red slot canyons, you know. It's right next to Pearl Pink Sandoons. And there's nothing out here. So the first thing that I noticed, which was the scariest thing, was that there were a bunch of coyotes, and they were yipping and how, like,

they were yipping like they were scared. Like, if you ever heard a dog when he scared, any whines and yips, you know, it's how these sounded and there was a bunch of them there was a lot of them

making this sound it's serious it's so unnerving like it's it was scary and I'm sitting there and I'm like what do you think

they're howling at like what do you think they're so scared of and he's like and he's already freaking out he's like I don't think we should be here we need to go

we need to get in a truck and then all of a sudden we're standing there And they all stopped at one time. And it's complete silence. And it's scary. And you're like, we look at each other. And he's like, get in the truck.

And I'm like, whatever. Fine, you know. I was like, that is weird, right? You know, it's so weird. So you get in the truck. And as soon as the dome lights go out in his truck, that's when I heard it. And I don't know.

what it was. And it was huge. Whatever this made this sound. And it was a sound almost like a human mimicking a coyote. And it was a deep, you could tell it came from a deep, deep within like a big creature. You know, a human. I don't know. I don't know.

I attained the fact that yes. This was a Sasquatch, you know, and this was, it was so close. The sound of it, like, I try not to, I tried, in my mind, I try to block out the sound it made when it mimicked the coyote. Because for some reason, it struck a chord of fear into me that I've never experienced before. Whatever this thing was, it was alive, you know, it was, it was so close. It was right behind me on my side by the back tire. And we had just shut the doors, you know. We had just jumped in.

You know, we had just gotten to the truck and then we heard that sound. It was just the sound, it was the time of, you know, the dome lights going out in your vehicle. And I turned, my first, the first thing I did was I turned around and I slammed the door lock on the door shut. like whatever it was it was going to be defeated by that door locked by God you know by my man it was not going to get in because I slammed the lock shut

you know so I turned to him and I'm like did you hear that I was freaking out and he didn't even his eyes I'm telling you the whites of his eyes have never seen another person how much of the whites of his eyes were showing they were huge the size of saucers you know

the dinner plates his eyes where he was and he's just like fumbling with the keys like trying to get keys in and he throws the truck in the reverse and we leave and we're driving and we're heading like we're going over like literally the wilderness he's like bumbling through sagebrush bushes he's like scratching like the side of his like his truck on rocks and stuff because we're so we're so petrified um i i i I turned to him and I'm like, what was that? What made this sound? He's like, don't talk about it.

Don't talk about it. He's like, I don't know what it was. He's like, that's why we don't stop out here in the middle of nowhere because this place is haunted. I'm like, you know, and I didn't, I was just, I was freaking out. I'm like, if it's haunted, there was something standing there, you know. There was some thing there. It wasn't haunted, like a ghost. Like, you know, there wasn't a ghost that made that sound.

It was a real living creature that made that sound. And so that's what was really the scariest thing about it. One of the scariest things about it. So we're driving down the main dirt road. And I have, after that incident, I had a dream about that moment when we're driving away from whatever that was, right? In my dream, it was the exact same thing. I relived the whole thing again. except that I turned and looked to the right-hand side in my dream,

and there's something running alongside the side of the truck in the dark, like a huge dark mass in my dream. Like, in real, when I was actually experiencing that, I didn't turn and look. But the one, maybe, I don't know, Like, I should go back and relive that moment in my mind. And I, I didn't, I didn't look out the side on the right hand side, but I have a, like, memory, a dream memory. I don't know what it is of looking, turning and looking and seeing something moving alongside the car.

So we get down the road maybe 10 minutes, and he's like, oh, I know there's a really good hill up here. I can take, we can take the truck in and use my full wheel drive. we can go for buying is what he called it, which is stupid, but whatever. He was really proud of this truck and wanted to like climbing up this sandhill. So we were like, well, what a, you know, in my mind, I'm thinking, well, whatever was back there, it's still back there. It didn't follow us. We're fine.

We're safe. You know, I'm showing myself these things. He pulls off the dirt road into the wilderness again. and we're driving up, we get to this hill, and we're pointed up towards it, and we start going up this hill. And if you're in sand and you have four-wheel drive, I mean, his truck was made to go uphill like this, and we could not get up this hill.

It kept bogging down, and you could just hear, like, you could just hear the truck like straining and like groaning like it was like something was holding the back and bogging it down like you could hear the bumper as it hit the sand like something was grabbing it and pushing it down

and I was like why is your truck doing this what is going on and just kept going we could not get up the stupid hill I mean, and we got maybe like three quarters of the way up this hill. And all of a sudden it just goes, bop, and the truck pops up, and we have no problems. We get up the top of the hill. We smoke a cigarette. We get out.

And I'm like, what in the hell is wrong with your truck? It's super dark. We can't see anything, you know. And he's like, well, I want to do it again. He's like, my church shouldn't have done that. I want to do this again. I want to do this again. And I'm like, oh, my Lord.

fine, you know, not like we didn't just experience, like, something out there in the wilderness wanting to kill us or something, you know, but okay, let's keep your truck up the sand hill again because you're a man and you have to prove something. So we get back down the hill and we turn around, yeah, you know, typical redneck actually is the right term for it, which is fine, you know, redneck, you live your life, man, you do you, boo-boo. Anyway, so, where we turn around, we get down the bottom, we turn, you know, driving through the wilderness, driving through bushes and sagebrush, like killing bushes. And we get down to the very start spot where we started.

And you can see a left tire. You can see a right tire in the sand. And then in the middle of the tire indentation, you can see feet indentation. something was dragged up the hill that had feet. You know, something was dragging, something was hanging on to the back of his truck and it was trying to get us stuck. I feel like whatever it was was trying to get us bogged down in the truck and trying to I don't know.

I don't know what it was. Maybe it was trying to scare us. I don't know. but you could clearly see in the sand the feet indentation and then the two tire indentations all the way up the hill. Well, not all the way up about to the spot where we, you know, popped up out of the sand and we were able to go all the way up the rest of the hill. I told, I turned to him and I told him whatever it was back there that we heard, it followed us.

And it was trying to get us stuck in the sand. I'm like, I know, with every fiber of my being, I know that's what that was trying, it was trying to do. And he was like, well, that's why we don't come out here at night. And that's why this place is, and I'm like, dude, don't like don't even start, you know. So he goes up the hill, we have absolutely zero problems going up this hill again. You know, that's what the stupid truck was made for is going up these sand hills. And we get up to the top.

We go back around and and we, I haven't been back there since. I haven't been back there since except for the two times. And the one time I was listening to the one about John Bender Nagel and the second time I was coming back there through there at night. And I was so scared the whole time. It was about, it was like just a couple of weeks ago. And, and yeah, I have absolutely zero explanation to what that was.

well, other than it was big foot. It was a big foot. Like, seriously. I, and I shared that experience with my mom and I was like, I told her, I'm like, it was the weirdest thing because all the way up the hill you can just see, you know, the tire and the tire, and then

the two in the middle. I'm like, but it's like, it just there was, it didn't like walk away. Like, you couldn't see an indentation in the sand where it just walked away. Like, it was just all of a sudden gone. And it was, you know, like it disappeared. It popped up.

The truck went on its way. We went on its way. And that's when she was like, well, they're into redventional beings. And I'm like, oh, you believe in Bigfoot. How dare you not kill me? So were there, do you know if there was any, like, dense or handprints or anything like that on the back of his truck, like something was holding on to it? Did you guys even think to check that?

No. So his, um, so his bumper, it's actually. a, it's a, it's like a metal, it's like an iron tube and he had custom made it himself and it's like this, the, the, it's like an inch thick and it goes, it, I can't even explain it. I wanted to actually message him and ask him to send me a picture of it. So if he sends me a picture of it, I'll have it to send it to you, but, um, because it's just like an, uh, a, a, a, uh, a, a steel, like a steel beam that he took and in a circle, a tube, and he just welded it to the back of this truck and put it on there so it wouldn't get, so we wouldn't, like, you wouldn't get

stuck in the sand, like it had weight added onto it, you know, and because that was my first thing. I'm like, looking at the back of this truck thinking, like, you know, it was scary, though. I can't, I can't, I can't think of any kind of explanation. See, in my mind, I was just like, you know, this is ancient, you know, there are a lot of pet, a lot of petchard lists in that area. There's a lot of, like, the rock dweller, the canyon dweller people. And so there's a lot of that stuff left behind.

And so I'm like, it's just a skin walker, you know. and somehow it hated us and it wanted us to die. I don't know. And so for a long of time, I used to believe that. And I used to just hate hearing about Bigfoot. And it wasn't until I was sitting there thinking about John Bendernagle. And I was, and I wasn't like thinking of the two together. But I was like, why do I feel so?

what do I feel so strongly about Bigfoot, you know? And I remember like telling my friend Alexis, I'm like, they're never going to find him. It's not real. It doesn't exist. And I'm like, why would I, like, why do I feel so strongly like that? I'm like, it's not like I haven't had a Bigfoot experience. And then I'm like, oh my God.

Oh my gosh. Oh, my God. And hop down at cane beds. Like, what was that? That, I mean, that falls exactly for me into the genre of what I think a Bigfoot could possibly do. it mimicked the sound of something else. It held, you know, it was big enough that it could hold something like that truck back. Like, I'm like telling myself, you know, that's, I feel like that's

why I felt so strongly about big so it was because inside I knew that that's what that could have been, if that makes sense. Yeah, it makes perfect sense. That's what I think. I mean, when you look at all the things that, you know, happened in that short period of time, I mean, you start putting two to two together and just like, even if it was a person that was dragging on the back of the truck, I mean, that doesn't make sense because, you know, I could grab on the back of your, your boyfriend's truck, and he would just drag me along. Exactly. And I certainly would still be there when I let go because I'd be beat up, you know, like I wouldn't

just get up and walk away. Right. Exactly, yeah And And I was like looking online I'm like looking at the type of truck that he had It's like a 1986 like Toyota And I'm like

It weighs 2,000 pounds I'm like there's no I'm like oh a ghost is going to just hold back A 2,000 pound truck Like come on Sarah Like let's think a little bit Like let's open up our minds a little bit here And try and imagine that maybe it wasn't a ghost

to like, you know, like, come on, Sarah. I was telling myself. Well, Sarah, I'll tell you what, you've had some intense experiences throughout your life. And I really do appreciate you coming on and sharing with us. Yeah, I appreciate being able to come on and really talk about these things. Like I said, like I told you before, you know, I haven't really shared too much of these experiences until I talk to you. and I really kind of come to terms with like, these are things that happened, you know, take it or leave it. Like, this is what's happened.

You know, I like to keep it open mind. Like, you know, if you have an explanation for, you know, people I know, I'm like, if you have an explanation for these things, then go right ahead and tell me how you feel about it because I'm, you know, I'm not trying to disclose or, you know, say that it's something that it wasn't, you know, I'm open. to all kinds of stuff, I guess, in theories and whatever. So. Yeah, I mean, I think it's the best way to be, to just remain open and keep your mind open about things because that's how you're really going to find out, you know, what you went through and also what these things are. I mean, we got to just keep an open mind. Just, that's basically what I say all the time. I hammer that into the ground. Keep an open mind, please.

Exactly, yes. And like, you know, when I was showing people with pictures and, the lights when I experienced the lights following me. Because I have this one photo, and I don't know if you actually even looked at them or not or anything, but the one photo I have is of this weird light coming up out of this chair-shaped orange object in the sky. And it looks like a shooting star coming out of this object. And every time I get to that photo, people are like, what? What is that?

I'm like, I don't know. like, you know, I'm like, I don't know what it is. I'm like, that's why I want to find out. You know, that's why I'm open to trying to hear what other people say about it, I guess. It's also fun to hear what other people have to share, too. I actually have that picture open on my computer right now, and I blew it up. And zooming in on it, it just gets all pixelated. And, you know, that kind of sucks. Is it? Yeah. Yeah. I know when I shared the ones with, because of the move, I had. the Mufon interview and I was uh I sent him the photos and he was like yeah I can't really zoom in too far on them and and and some of them I took from I just took my camera out and I took a picture of it like right there and then when you zoom in on it it's you know it's it's the weirdest thing and it has like this weird black circle behind it and it looks like the sky is opening up and

letting this object come through and it's bizarre I don't know you know man crazy things out there, Twilight Zone, you know. That's just whatever it is, man. It is what it is. That's right. I really appreciate you coming on and talking, though. Yeah, thank you for having me, man. I really appreciate it.

And good luck with your endeavors and everything that you do. I really appreciate you and the work that you do and allowing people to come on and talk about things that I've been able to relate to and really feel comfortable with myself and being able to even talk about it in the first place. So thank you, Tony. Oh, right on. Well, you got my email and I think we're friends on Facebook. Feel free to reach out anytime. All right. No problem, man. You have a good one. Well, that's a show, buddy. I really hope you enjoyed it. And if you did enjoy it, please go ahead and share it with your friends, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, TikTok, email. I don't care

how you share the show, but just share the show. And if you haven't done so already, go ahead and sign up for our first in line text message community. You see, if you you are part of social media and the confessionals, you're not guaranteed to see everything we put out because it gets buried very quickly, plus you're not guaranteed that we're not going to be censored either. And for you to sign up as part of first in line text message community guarantees anything important coming out from the professionals, you're going to be the first one to hear about it. So if you want to be part of this community, go ahead and text the word yup yup yup to 844-215-0-8-19 that's 844-215-0-8-19 text the word yup y-up and you'll be first in line to learn

anything important coming from the confessionals and until next week friends stay safe take care and remember the truth will set you free but first they'll piss you off bye