The Confessionals - 192: My Spirit Guides Possessed Me

Episode Date: December 25, 2019

On today’s Christmas Day special episodes we bring on Lauren to share her dramatic experiences with demonic entities that posed as “spirit guides” when she was in the New Age religion. They were loving and helpful beings until she started the slow transition to becoming a Christian. She started to experience them becoming more hostile towards her until she was actually possessed by these entities. She shares how this took a toll on her marriage and how her husband had to perform an exorcism on her as these things became more and more invasive in her life. BECOME A MEMBER AND GET ADDITIONAL SHOWS: https://www.theconfessionalspodcast.com/join Subscribe to our YouTube: https://bit.ly/2TlREaI Subscribe to the Newsletter: https://www.theconfessionalspodcast.com/the-newsletterWebsite: www.theconfessionalspodcast.comEmail: [e-mail]: www.facebook.com/TheConfessionalsPodcastTwitter: @TConfessionalsTony's Twitter: @tony_merkelShow Intro INSTRUMENTAL: www.youtube.com/watch?v=kyub39AXxUwShow Intro FREE DOWNLOAD: https://bit.ly/2HxNcw3

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with even three years of guarantee and eight years of guarantee in the battery, and the support of the service officials official.es. This was all circulating around the base that a giant had been killed, but no one was supposed to talk about it. I saw three long

bone fingers, reach up underneath the door, curl up to grab it, and then disappear. When he came over to me, Dude, he slithered over to me. And this giant comes out of the cave and they're all frozen. And he starts running and firing at this giant. Well, the giant moves.

He's got a spear in one hand and he's running really fast. And spears Dan and holds him up like this. Somebody else, shoot him in the face, shoot him in the face. They basically decapitated. I feel something pulling at my leg. And I look over and there are two. Two small gray entities. And they're literally, I'm getting pulled off the bed.

I reached my hand into this bush, and I touch air. Couldn't breathe and I couldn't move because I know I'm seeing a monster. Welcome to the show, everybody. You're listening to The Confessionals. I am your host, Tony Merkel. Thank you for being here. If you've had an encounter or story you'd like to share with me on the show, go ahead and shoot me an email.

My email address is The Confessionals at Protonemail.com. that's The Confessionals at pro-timemail.com. Or go to the website, theconfessionalspodcast.com, hit the contact section, and you can reach me that way as well. Either way works for me, just get a hold of me. And if you want extra shows every week on Thursdays, we drop an extra show on the website for members only. So if you want more of the Confessionals, head to the Confessionalspodcast.com and join to become a member today. Ho, ho, ho. Merry Christmas, everyone.

Welcome to the Christmas Day edition of the Confessionals. I was going to put this show out yesterday for Christmas Eve, but we decided to put out the Christmas Eve music special on Christmas Eve. And then we're going to put out today's show on Christmas Day. So hopefully you guys are having a great Christmas right now, and you listen to the Christmas Eve music special yesterday. And today you got more audio coming your way with a great encounter story. We have Lauren coming on.

And Lauren is going to be sharing. her experience of when she was in the new age religious movement. And when she started the process of becoming a Christian, her spirit guides turned on her and they became very demonic and even possessed her where her husband had to perform an exorcism on her last minute kind of situation. It's a great talk today about a two hours show ahead for you right here on Christmas Day. Merry Christmas, everyone. And I'm glad you're here. Let's get to the show right now. All right, today we got a great guest coming on. Lauren, how are you?

I'm doing well, Tony. Thank you for having me on. Awesome. I'm glad you're here. And you have an interesting life. So we spent some time talking and your email, you know, draws out a lot of pictures and stuff. But basically, you come from being somebody who went into the new age from a Christian background and then went back to being a Christian.

And you had an experience where basically you were. demonically possessed and your husband had to take care of the situation. But before we get to that story, which is pretty dramatic, why don't you just walk us through your life and draw the picture as to how this all happened for you? Okay. I'd be happy to. All right. So I want to start at the very, very beginning. And that's going to be before I even come along. My grandmother, my mother's mom actually passed away long before I was ever born. But my mom would always tell me these stories about how sensitive to the paranormal and to the spirit world my grandmother was and told me all these crazy stories that she had

told my mother. And there was always like one crazy thing after another, but she was also very religious. So if I could say that my paranormal interest or sensitivities come from anywhere, I would definitely say my mom's side of the family because she also has a great uncle when I was doing some research, found out that in the Baltimore, Maryland area, which is where I'm originally from, this was at the turn of the century, I think in the 1910s. He was a magician, like a stage magician, but he belonged to a group of men. It was like a magician's fraternity called The Demons Club, and they called themselves Demons.

And you can actually search this up on Google and read some old articles about them and everything. So they were stage magicians, but I suspect there were something else going on, like some ritual of magic and stuff going on too. And he later was one of the founding fathers of another group called the Society of Osiris, which for people who don't know is an Egyptian god. And so I feel like I'm not sure that he was the one that opened the door there. I think that that's indicative of a long line of family members that have messed around with magic and the spirit world. And that my grandmother was just like me, just sort of influenced by those open doors. So, let's see. So then I was born.

And at the time when I was born up until the age of nine, my mom, was involved with the new age. And that's sort of a cliche term. I know it's just she was into psychics and mediums and believed in extraterrestrials. And she did meditation regularly and things like that. But she would take me to, me and my brother were very close in age to psychic fairs and things like this.

And, like, she has told me that one of them that they went to, there was a group of people, and the psychic who was, he was talking to a group, and he pointed me out specifically and said something about my gifts or, like, the powers that I have or something like that, which is not to, I'm not shooting my own horn or anything. like this is going to come into play because if I believe now that if that they were seeing in me familiar spirits that they watched to them. How old were you at that time? I was between, I mean, my mom took us to psychics all the time.

Like we would be playing and stuff while she was talking to these psychics. But I think at this time, I think I was about four or five at that time. So you're, you were young. Yeah, really young, really young. Because she, she accepted Christ as her savior when I was nine. So all of this happened when I was pretty young. And then there was another psychic fair she took us to that in Pennsylvania, actually. Yeah.

And she said there was this, like, super old building, and there were psychics and mediums everywhere. but this one lady approached us that my dad was holding me and she asked my, the psychic asked my mom, she sees things,

doesn't she? And my mom told her, yes, that I do see things. And I had said something to her. So we were outside of this old house at the psychic fair and I was looking at,

the upstairs of this house, which was locked off because of safety reasons or something. And I kept saying to my mom, I want to go up there. My friends are up there playing. I want to go up there. And then that psychic had come and asked my mom, she sees things. And had told her to protect my gift and to not discourage me from seeing things and stuff like that, which my mom really blew her off. But I asked my mom, I said, well, why did you tell me?

that I saw things like did you did I say anything to you and um she said that well she did know that she had known that I was seeing something when I was saying that I wanted to play with my friends at the top of that house um but that when I was two I had um I was like talking to myself or something and she asked me who I was talking to and I said I said grandma and she said well um you're grandma's not here. What do you mean? And I said, no, my grandma in heaven. So I was presumably talking to my mother's mother who had died in a really bad car accident when my mom was 20 years old. And my mom said, well, what is she saying to you? And I said, I can't tell you. She said, I'm not allowed to tell you. And my mom said, I kept saying cordon all the time.

Like, I don't know what that means, but cordon. And she said, you just kept saying it over and over again. I asked you where grandma was, and you just kept saying, cordon, cordon, cordon, cordon, cordon. So I was two. I don't know if I was trying to say something else, like corridor or something like that. So I don't know why I would know that word when I was two. So, yeah, cordon. So my mom at that point chalked it up to that I was just sensitive like her mother was.

And so real quick. When I was, yeah, the word cordon. Did you ever look at that word and see what it actually means? No. My mom said she did, but couldn't figure it out. But no, I didn't. I didn't Google or anything. Yeah, cordon, C-O-R-D-O-N.

the noun is a line or circle of police, soldiers, or guards preventing access to or from an area or building. And that would sound a lot like heaven with Peter at the gates allowing access or denying access to a certain area. Right. I mean, it sounds like something. That's crazy. I did not even know that word. Right. So I mean, I'm not trying to be mean mean mean mean mean, I'm not trying to be mean or anything. But I'm just saying like heaven and hell both would have access points. are not accessible to just openly accessible. There has to be a chain of command and process to getting in and out, you know?

Yeah, because you know what else she told me? And this is a story she's been telling me my entire life, because I guess it really blew her mind. She said that I told her that my grandmother appeared in a doorway of light, held out her hands, and beckoned me come, like, told me to come with her, but I refused. So that's pretty crazy. Like if it was trying to get me to, I don't, I just want to say I do not believe it was my grandmother. I believe it was something pretending to be my grandmother. So that's weird.

Yeah, so I didn't mean to distract you or anything. I just figured I'd throw that out there before. It wasn't, it wasn't relevant to the conversation. No, that's really interesting. That's something, something else to chew on. Okay, so I thought I did. I saw shadows a lot, like shadow figures and just sort of, and even now I still do. I see like shadow energy sort of like darting around.

I always felt like I was being watched when I was a kid. I think a lot of kids feel like that. But it was just, I constantly felt like something was always messing with me. and there was one time that really stood out as far as shadow people are concerned. I think I was about five at this age. So I was sleeping and suddenly, I woke up suddenly and I saw this shadow figure walk through my doorway. So it was dark in the room, but the door was open and the hall light was on. So the shadow figure walked through my bedroom door and it was, it was average male height.

It was definitely the shape of a man, not large, not small, just sort of like a regular, like, trim athletic shape. And I called it a naked man, but he just wasn't wearing clothing, but I didn't see any, like, there was no, I couldn't see any, like, reproductive parts or, like, muscles or anything. It was just like a very dark shape of a man, bald head. And he walked into my door and here I am. I woke up suddenly and I'm staring at it. And then it approaches my bed and takes a knee like in prayer. Like he went, he bent down on one knee, put his hands together, not clasped together, but like in the, um, just your pressing your hands together in prayer. and bowed his head to me. And, you know, I mean, I was already kind of used to paranormal at this time, but, you know,

you're five years old. It was scary. So I did what any five-year-olds would do, and I put the covers over my head and closed my eyes and said, okay, I'm dreaming. When I open my eyes again, he's going to be gone. So I did that for a few seconds, and then I looked again, and he was still there. And so I said to him, go away. I don't want you here.

You don't belong here. Go away. And he, like, I got a feeling of like, it was kind of weird, but just like the energy that came from him was almost like disappointment. And he didn't go away right away at first. I had to be very insistent. And then he just stood up, walked backwards a few steps, and turned around and disappeared.

So I was pretty young when that happened. And then the first sleep paralysis I ever had was about when I was about seven years old. And at that time, you know, my whole life, I feel like I've been super fascinated and interested in all things paranormal, like any kind of show that came on TV or anything about psychics or mediums or ghosts or just anything. I was all about it because I wanted to kind of understand what was always happening to me. But my mom gave her life to Christ when I was nine years old. The story goes is that she had this evil presence always trying to mess with her,

and she shared that in confidence with a friend that she worked with who had also been in the occult and had, then at that point was a Christian and he told her like, look, Jesus can help you and you need to leave all that stuff alone and turn to Christ. And she did. And so all of us kind of followed suit after that. And so I was nine when I accepted Jesus into my heart, but, you know, when you're nine years old, you don't really, I mean, I had no concept of what Jesus actually did for people, what he did for me, and what accepting came into my heart, as I say, like really even meant for my life, you know.

I was just kind of going off the suggestion of the people at church, you know. But when I did it, I was sitting on our swing set in the backyard, and I was just kind of saying it over and over again. I was swinging and just enjoying the afternoon and saying, I accept Jesus into my heart, you know, like talking to Jesus. And very clearly in my ear, I heard that's enough. And what's really sad is I thought it was God. I know now that that wasn't God, but when I was nine years old, I thought it was God.

And that that started many years of feeling like God was always mad at me and never happy with me. And that I was always sinning and he was always displeased. and like, um, it was kind of a vicious cycle because I had clearly had some, some, um, beings or entities attached to me that were always speaking to me that were unfortunately louder to me than the holy spirit was at that time of my life. Um, so, uh, let's see. So something else that stands out, um, are these three shadow beings that my, brother and I deemed the farmers. These are beings, they are shadow men that have followed us since we were little kids up

through our teenage years. And we call them the farmers because they are very much shadow beings, but for whatever reason, they are these, like, if the last shadow being that I saw, if he was just like a normal looking man, these things were kind of husky, kind of on the bigger side. and they wore overalls and straw hats, and which were not in color, they were shadow, but somehow both of us individually,

me and my brother perceived that they straw hats. And whenever they would come and visit one of us, they would come and visit both of us. So all throughout our childhood, if one of us had a nightmare of them, the other one had too and that was throughout our childhood but it wasn't until

we had moved to South Carolina when I was 13 that we actually both had an experience with these farmers and had corroborated I guess like

for the first time like really talked about it So let's make sure I'm not skipping ahead here. So I was about 15, I think, when this happened. So we had been in South Carolina for a couple years. And we moved into this house that the other kids called the haunted house. But I was haunted my whole life. So it didn't bother me that they called it the haunted house. But there was one night that I always lived with my door closed because, again,

even throughout my teenage years, I always felt like something was trying to get me at night time. And I would ask for angels to protect me every night and ask God to send his angels to protect. And it was very hard for me asleep. But I always slept with the door closed. And this particular night I slept with the door open. And I think for the first time I had actually seen these farmers with my own eyes. Like it was always in dreams and nightmares and night terrors that me and my brother had seen these things. And so I woke up suddenly and here these things come, these three farmers filing in through my doorway just very slowly, not like they're running, but just very slowly like walking.

One, two, three, through my doorway and then approached the side of my bed and stood there, like, staring, like, staring. at me and I knew I was seeing them with my own eyes and um at this time I knew to call in the name of Jesus so that's what I did and they of course went away and so the next morning I shared with my brother what had happened and he just looked like he had he was just white like he was shocked because he He had had a nightmare about them exactly the same, you know, at that night. And they had visited him too. So I don't know what the deal with them was, but that was pretty sure the last experience that we had with them.

I think that was when we shared that with my mom, because I don't think we had ever told her about the farmers before. I'm pretty sure we blessed the house and stuff like that. I don't think that I had another experience. All right. Let's take a break right now and talk about a sponsor, CBS's show called Evil. You need to check out and binge Evil on CBS. Why you ask? Because evil is a seriously good mystery.

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So the experience you had where you leave the door open, they come walking in your room, your brother had an experience at night as well. did he actually see them or did they come to him in his dream? He was dreaming, but I'm actually not positive. I should have verified that with him before I talked to you. However, he had definitely seen them in some shape or form. But actually I have here in my notes that apparently around the same time,

so maybe that wasn't my last experience with them because my husband told me recently that, so my husband, husband and I have been together since I was 14 and he was 17. We were high school sweetheart. So when I say my husband, he was my boyfriend out of his time. Apparently he told me that at some point we were dating and he said I was about 15 or 16 years old that I came flying down the stairs and told him those things are in my room right now. and he didn't believe me. And so he went up there and saw them standing at the foot of my brother's bed with his own eyes. And then, of course, believed me. But I was actually talking to him about this morning.

He said that one of them looked at him and he got out just a chill all over his body and he knew those things were real and that it was looking at him. So it's verifiable by my husband, too. But he actually didn't even tell me that until this past spring. So I didn't know he had ever seen them to, I don't know if he was like too proud to tell me he got scared or something. So he has seen them too. So just like random things would happen in that house.

Like I would see shadow being standing behind me in the mirror. Like when I was getting ready for school or something, they would like jump scare me, like a peer behind me. And I would hear my name being called all the time and think it was my mom. Like it sounded just like my mom. Apparently that's a common thing because I've heard that on, I've heard people say that quite a bit. But so I would think my mom was calling me and then I'd ask her what she needed and, you know, she wasn't calling me.

So I heard people calling my name a lot in that house. A couple of times when I was out in public, I saw a demonic face manifest on someone else's face. Like there was a couple of times when I was just walking through the store and this, a young guy, this happened twice. A young guy was just sort of, I was making eye contact with him. And he was making eye contact with me, but he'd have a really weird look on his face.

And I would see a demonic face manifest on his face sort of smirking at me. And like, almost like the demonic presence was saying, I see you, you know, or I'm watching you or something like that. That happened a couple of times. which wasn't really surprising to me, I guess, by that time, because I had taken, you know, those tests you take for what's your spiritual gift or whatever, and it was always discerning our spirits and stuff.

So it's a weird thing to happen. But then there was this other time at that house that my brother, brother and I both, again, both saw the same apparition manifest in front of our eyes. So this one's kind of neat. This one's more of like, it's not even really scary. It's kind of just, it's one of those, excuse me, mind-trippy things. We were helping my mom bring groceries in. And in this house, like, so we came in through the back door and then to go into the kitchen,

you kind of had to cross through this hallway. And along the hallway, on one side, on the left side was the laundry room and on the right side was the dining room. And we're carrying these bags of groceries. And we both stop and look up. And this, I guess they call them solid apparition, walked from the dining room. So from the right to the left side of, the hallway, just walked across the hallway.

There was absolutely no transparency to it at all. It looked like a solid figure. And we both saw it at the same time. So I'll just describe to you what it looked like. He was not walking on the floor. He was walking above the floor. Both me and my brother are pretty tall. I'm 5'10, and my brother's like 6'5 or something.

and so I would say that this guy was a little on the smaller side compared to us. I would say he's probably about 5'5. And he looked like he was wearing a black cape that came to his knees, and he looked like he was holding something to his chest, like clutching something large to his chest, but I couldn't see what it was. It was under the cape. And the cape had a hood, and he wore these long, like these tall black boots.

that came up to his knees that were all like black leather, I would say, buckled up and like tight pants. And then he, so this figure goes striding across the hallway. And I looked at my brother. I said, did you see that? He said, I saw that. And then as we're staying there, like gobsmags, trying to figure out what just happened.

the figure walked back from the other side from the laundry room back to the dining room. And we saw it, so we saw it a second time. So that was a verifiable case of seeing an apparition. We both saw it together. And I asked him fairly recently, you know, if he remembered seeing that and he does, he does remember it. So it definitely happened. And so then time goes on and I experience just like the random paranormal thing. It seemed to just happen all the time, but it was nothing.

It was unusual, but it wasn't. It was just like my life. I was just used to it. And so we grew up. And when I was 21, I had our first son. and we, a couple years later, moved into our own home. And paranormal stuff continued, but not like it was in that other house. We would sometimes get what we called visitors or what I called visitors.

But it's a very old town that we live in. So even though it was a new house, we kind of felt like the grounds had its own energy and had a lot of history, so we weren't surprised when we had strange things going on. My husband, late at night, he's a night owl, I'm not at all, so I would already be long in bed, but he would in the middle of the night see an apparition, a woman with long blonde hair and a white dress walking around. And he would sometimes think it was me up, like, of walking around until he realized it wasn't me. and he would see her pretty often, actually, when he was up by himself in the middle of the night.

He also saw, like, what he described as, like, a Native American running through the house. And then there was one time, too, that I was in my 20, so I could do this then. I couldn't do this now. I was getting up at, like, 4 o'clock in the morning to go work out before work. and I was sitting on the couch in our living room, which looked out these two picture windows through the yard and then across the street to the neighbors, part of the neighbor's yard and their driveway. And so I was sitting there.

My morning ritual was to just sit there with my coffee for a little bit and just wake up before I went to go work out. and our neighbor across the street drove a truck for the power company so it was this great big I forget what you call um cherry picker truck with the um the seat that goes way up into the air that was a pretty big truck yeah and um so I was sitting there looking out the window it's dark except for the couple of street lights and stuff and I see this man walking down so it was like through down the street but through my neighbor's yard and he seemed kind of tall and lanky um not unusual for south carolina the way this guy was was dressed he was wearing like a white

tank top um sort of raggedy shorts and work boots that came up his ankles like touched his calves but weren't laced up so they were kind of um you know flopping around a little bit and I mean, he just looks like your average, you know, worker. So it wasn't out of the ordinary, I guess. But I see him walking and I'm watching him. And then suddenly he looks at me and he's got blue glowing eyes. And it was first thing in the morning and I was tired. So I was thinking to myself, that guy has on night vision goggles.

I know that sounds ridiculous, but I was just woken up. And I was not thinking ghosts at all. So, because he looked like a man. He just looked like a man walking. But when he looked at me, his eyes were glowing glue. And I said, man, those must be some good goggles, because I could, I just felt like he could see me through the window. Like, I had the blinds up.

I was actually looking out the window and stuff. And he was looking in the window at me. And this is a, I don't, I can't say for sure how many yards, but it's a pretty good distance. like nobody would be able to see me through the window from where he was. I just wasn't putting two and two together. And he walks all the way through my neighbor's yard across the driveway and behind my neighbor's truck, the big work truck.

And I expected him to appear on the other side and he didn't. Like, he just disappeared. And then I was like, wait a minute. That was an apparition that I just saw. And I felt like a dope thinking this is some guy with night vision goggles on that could see me. But that's, that was a second full-bodied apparition that I saw. And that was kind of weird. I had wondered if it was my husband's at the time.

I don't think it was. But at the time, I had wondered if it was my husband's uncle who had been struck by a car when in his early 20s on that road. and I mean, they look kind of similar, I would say, but I don't know why he would be haunting my neighbor's driveway if that were him. So, and then in this house, I would say, I want to touch on a little bit of the stuff that my kids experience. Okay. In this house, because I had always prayed that my kids would not experience

the same kind of darkness and stuff that I did. And when they started experiencing paranormal things, I got, honestly, I was mad at God. Like, I was pretty ticked off. But, like, why aren't you protecting them from this? I don't want them to be afraid their whole childhood like I was. And, but they've had their own experiences. Like, I think my son, our oldest was about seven when I was sitting in the living room. and it's a very small house.

And I was pretty much right next to the two kids' bedrooms. And we had some toys in there, like electronic toys and a big toy box. And I was just sitting at the desk, and I started hearing the kids weren't home. So I started hearing the toys moving around. Like, they were in this plastic toy box. So it sounded like as if somebody were moving the toys around, like looking for a toy to play with, you know? And like, so I could hear I'm like touching each other and tipping over and stuff in the toy box

and hearing little boobs and beeps going off from somebody pressing the buttons. And like an idiot, I said to this being, okay, you know, you can say as long as you don't scare us, you know, So, like, just let me know if you need something, because at this time I was thinking, like, ghosts were around because they needed help or something like that. And so I opened the door to this thing. And so lesson learned never speak to something you don't know what you're speaking to. Yeah, this is probably not a good idea because after that, like, Within days.

My oldest son, he was probably about seven, I think. He's 15 now, so this was a long time ago. Hard for me to remember ages. They all just start blending together. He was terrified. He called for me. I had just put him to bed maybe an hour before. So this was probably like 9 o'clock at night or something.

The hallway light was on. and he calls for me and he's scared and he tells me that this is what he saw in the hallway just outside of their bedroom, his bedroom door. Yeah, I guess the bedroom door because the two boys were sleeping in the one room. And a rainbow spiral manifests down and like a rainbow portal, I guess you could say, come down and what it manifested was what he called Ghost Boy. And he described Ghost Boy as a kid about his age, maybe a little bit older, maybe like a tween age,

but his same size and that he had blonde hair, a loose white shirt and loose like brown breeches, like it was like old-fashioned type clothes and boots boots that came up to his ankle and that he looked like he'd been in a fight is what my son said like he was disheveled as he said his clothes were dirty he had cuts and bruises on his face and everything like he'd been fighting and he looked angry he looked like he wasn't like friendly he was pissed off I guess. And the boy was telling my son, he wants to be a part of him.

He wants to be friends with him. He wants to be a part of my son's life. And I don't think my son said anything, but that's when he called for me. And the next night or with, was it the next night or within, within Dave, again, Um, so honestly, I, I'm not sure I put two and two together about like speaking to whatever it was playing with toys in their room. Um, I was kind of just like, oh boy, here we go. Like my kids can see stuff too great.

Like I have to deal with them being, try to explain to them what's happening and stuff. And I really didn't ever want to have to do that. Um, but within, within like a week. I would say we had just gotten our cat. It was the only pet that we had at the time. And we had just gotten him. And our youngest son, who would have been about three at the time, was asleep in my bed.

My husband was not home. I'm pretty sure he was working. And this was at nighttime. And the other two kids were in bed. And my youngest was in my bed. And our cat with the door open, so he was sleeping on my spot of the bed. And our cat started to approach the bedroom door where our youngest son was sleeping and started growling. I've never heard a cat growl before and I've never heard it again since.

But our cat was growling and he was staring at something above my son. And I jumped up and I ran in there to look. And sure enough, I sensed something over my son. I didn't see anything, but I sensed that it was there. And I told it to leave in the name of Jesus Christ, and it did. And I've never heard our cat growl like that again. But at that point, I was really freaked out. And I reached out to, I did some internet searching and stuff,

but at this time, I wouldn't say I had gone away. from my faith completely, but I wasn't a practicing Christian, I would say, either, like, not in the disciple way that we, that I am now, you could say. And so I reached out to, I found, like, the only Christian psychic I could find on the internet, and I reached out to her. She called herself a Christian psychic, and I told her what was going on, and she said, do not mess with this thing. It is from the pits of hell. She said she had to pray that it would stay away from us and that it's been told a better never return. And she said, like, it was trying to attach itself to my son so that it could possess him. And so I took that very seriously. She said, don't even ever talk about it again.

Don't tell him not to even think about this thing. So I know I'm talking about. talking about it now, but I feel certain that we're covered by God's protection. So, um, but what was crazy is that a little while after I had contacted her and felt like it had gone away and it was told it could never come back in the house again. I was, again, walking through the house in one of those mornings where I was up super early at like 4.30 in the morning and the windows in the living room that are large windows and I had the blinds kind of halfway pulled up so it was I could see out of them and it was dark I was walking through the living room and suddenly a face appeared and that window on the outside looked super angry at me

it was a boy's face and just had this horrible evil look like I'm going to get you and it totally jump scared me but it was on the outside and I thought it was told it could never come inside again so that was interesting but I know Tony you have you've had your own experience of seeing something outside of the window yeah yeah I don't that's not your favorite story no I'm sitting here thinking man I'm not going to look out the window tonight. Yeah, it definitely took its opportunity to scare me through that dark window. So let's see. And then throughout this time, too, this is all like not right at the same time,

but throughout this time in my life, you could say, where I was kind of going away from the face and leaning more. into alternative philosophies. Do you want to call them that? Our oldest son, again, he started having dreams about futuristic technology that he was working with. Like, he would draw me these pictures of these machines that don't exist, as far as I know. And he would have these dreams where he was a man and he was working with this technology. and at the same time

he was getting downloads of binary code I don't know if you've ever I'm sure you've heard of the Randall Sham I'm sure I'm not saying it correctly Randall Shem Forest UFO

Oh well you look into that one because it's in the UK and the guy like these guys that went and investigated this UFO and the Randallstrom Forest he put his hand on it on the UFO and he got this huge download of binary code. Yes, yes.

Remember that? Yes, okay, I got you. So that's kind of like what was happening to my son. He would be in school and suddenly kind of be in this trance and getting a download of binary code. And which was interesting but also kind of freaky because that happened in that movie to forget what it's called. But, so that was going on with him. And around the same time, that was going on with him. Our daughter was having what I, she, I thought at the time that it was like a past life recollection.

And our youngest son, too, both started telling me things that. sounded like they would have been a past life. And that really sent my head spinning because I still had my Christian worldview. And I wanted answers so badly about what my kids were telling me. And what they were telling me just sounded so much like a past life that I really started researching that a lot. And that's part of what sort of led me away from Christian faith and into these other philosophies because I wanted an explanation for what my kids were saying and what was happening

to them and what had happened to me as a kid too. And it just didn't seem like, I mean, most pastors that you go to or most just regular church people, I guess, that you go to, if you try to tell them stuff like that that's happening to you or that used to happen to you, they, they don't have an answer. Like, I just, um, the church isn't really prepared. I guess you could say for weird, weird stuff like that to have, like, to give an answer to somebody. So I started looking in other directions.

And, um, so my, when my daughter was five and she suddenly was telling me, it's hard to explain her face, but it was so sincere. And none of my kids are really the type of. to make up stories and stuff like that. But she, I was putting her in bed and suddenly it was like she was in a different place almost. And she started telling me about how she was wearing a soldier's uniform and had this gun. And she was explaining this elaborate gun to me. And she was explaining to me that the town people were angry with her because she took their last food.

But she explained the situation to them. and then they liked her again and they gave her the food and there was a war going on and stuff like this and she's five and pretty well protected like we didn't have regular TV we really monitored what they watched and what they were exposed to so it just seems so sincere she wasn't telling me a story she was relaying to me something that had just happened to her like something that she had just experienced. And our youngest son, too,

um, he's got the trivious things of all. Um, he was about, he was speech delayed. This child did not put two words together until he was three years old. Um, he was a very good, quiet baby.

Um, I honestly started to wonder if he was a little bit delayed, mentally just because of those kinds of things that he didn't show any other signs of having any kind of learning disabilities or anything. He was just a very quiet kid, very good nature, never cried, never complained or whined, but he also didn't talk until he was about three. And he started going to kindergarten when he was four. So he went to K-4 and K-5 and had the same kindergarten teacher for both of those years.

and he didn't even speak to his kindergarten teacher until halfway through the fifth K-5. So he was very, he was not very open and gregarious. He was very reserved and he didn't truly trust people to talk to them and stuff. Like he would talk to me, but not really to anyone outside the family. And he started, the reason I tell you he was speech late is because the information that he shared. with me and with my mom who was taking him to walking him to school each day while I was at work. It was just so much information. He began telling us that his daddy from that he described, he didn't say his daddy from another life,

but like he was talking about another father. And I would say, you mean your daddy? No, my other, my other daddy. The other daddy, he's very sad. He's saying he's very sorry. He's running around the house, not our house. He was describing their old house. He's running around, crying, saying, he's so sorry, he's so sorry.

He described to me that he was a baby and that there was a fire in their home. And that he described to me the pictures on the wall ripping and happening. like you would see in a fire and that the doors couldn't be opened and the windows couldn't be opened and that he was in the house and it was on fire and then suddenly he was outside of the house looking on top of the house and he described it to me like a like I was I just got to ask him questions he described it like a like a log cabin kind of and he said that his other father was running around, trying to get in, and screaming and crying and saying, he's so sorry, he's so sorry.

And he said, everybody died, mommy, except my father, my daddy. Everybody died. And he said, my locket, where's my locket? And I'm like, what, babe? What locket, honey? And this is like the mostest kids ever talk. Like, he does not talk. I mean, he really, really doesn't.

And he said, my locket, my mom. my mommy's locket. And I said, well, why don't you draw me a picture? He drew a picture of the locket. He said, it's on the floor of the barn. I have to get it. It's on the floor of the barn, and I can't get it. And he would describe to me, he would say things like,

the animals hate us, Mommy, because we hunt them. The animals hate us because we put them in cages. And I said, who does, honey? Because we don't. And we don't, I don't have anything against hunters, but we don't hunt. and he would say my daddy would put the animals in cages and they hate us for that and my daddy's mean to them. And so just this crazy stuff like this and I was always trying to put it together. And I really started to believe that he was talking about another lifetime.

And he went through a season of a good six months of just constantly talking about this other family and the fire. that he was in and stuff like that. And at one point, he even said that his daddy had a, I think it was something else he was talking about, but his daddy had a Darth Vader mask and he would put it on and like try to make him laugh and stuff like that. And he would say crazy things to me.

Like one time I was walking him home from K4, so it was the middle of the day. And he said, I see them, Mommy. I said, what do you see? He said, all the souls, I see them going up so many, so many of the people going up into the sky. And that was all that he could really tell me. But he would just say random things like that. And one time he came home and he said, Mommy, there's a man in my classroom and he's angry at me.

I said, well, can you describe it for me? He said, he said, he's all black and he's not wearing a shirt and he's angry at me because I'm alive and he's not. I said, where did you see this man? He said, he stares at me from the corner of the classroom. I said, does anybody else see this man? He said, no, nobody else sees the man. But he stares at me and he's angry because I'm alive. And I try to tell him that it's okay, that, you know, please don't be angry at me.

the man hates him because he's alive and the man's not. And so just stuff like that and he eventually quit talking like that. And now he doesn't remember. But if you've ever done any research into children's past life memories, they often do in that age between, I think it's like two and five will, start to say things like that. Even our oldest son, when he was two, one day randomly said, I was putting him in his car seat, and he said, my daddy's dead.

Just like that, just like so matter of a fact, that I said, what? Your daddy's not bad. Your daddy is at home. And he said, no, my daddy's dead. And I had no context for it at that time, but, you know, later on after the other kids started saying weird stuff like that, I really started to believe they were remembering other lifetimes, parallel lifetimes or whatever, or what have you.

So I started really researching stuff like that, and that took me into realms of thought that are away from Christian doctrine. And I started method English and stuff that I really shouldn't have. And this is over a span of several years. There was one point where I really had kind of felt like I had license to just kind of explore whatever I wanted to and was super, super curious. And I got this book on Tibetan Magic from the library. Also a terrible idea, you guys. Like, I told you that.

But I started like really reading this book and doing the chance and everything. And that opened up a can of worms. Like for about a month and a half, every single night I was being woken up by spirits come into me. I was hiding under my husband. I was so scared. It was all night. All night long. I didn't even sleep.

Like they were coming and waking me up every night. And I was so scared. Because my husband and I weren't always sleeping in the same bed at that time. And they would come and ask me what happened to them, why they're dead, what they do now, and stuff like that. And this went on for about a month and a half until I reached out to another psychic and she told me what to do. and it all stopped thankfully. But that was a very strange time. Like I really realized that you can open some crazy doors.

But that didn't stop me from going down rabbit holes of different things. So over the course of several years, I started studying like narcissism, hermetics, law of attraction, the mystery schools, shamanism, experiencing Mandela effect. And I was just really studying

pretty much anything but Christianity. And then I came across, or it really came to me as something called Quantum Healing Hypnosis Technique. And I'm not going to get too much into that because I don't, I really don't want to make it sound like something that I endorse anymore. But I became a QHHT practitioner and I did that for about two and a half years.

And so I was technically a hypnotist and it's not like a clinical hypnosis and it's not stage hypnosis either. it's a form of regression hypnosis. And it's very similar to actually in ancient Egypt, these things called sleep temples or dream temples. And that was started by the Egyptian priest in the Tep. And so this QHHT technique is very similar to that and that I would regress people to what I thought were. different lifetimes, parallel lifetimes, and talk to their, what it's called, their higher self

or their highest and things like that. And I was pretty good at it. I had a lot of demand. I really thought it was going to be my career. The point of it was to heal past life trauma. It's a childhood trauma to shamanism. and it's dramatic in its essence. And so I experienced, like, quite a bit of weirdness with the hypnosis,

which I could get into. But at the time, I had already been meditating every day for probably three years or something. I was a very committed meditator and was easily able to meditate. for hours, but my usual was about an hour every day. And I did that all the way up until this past, or, yeah, this January when I accepted Christ. I had been become such a good meditator and had awakened things, I guess, in me and around me doing the hypnosis.

To remote view other people's energy systems and their bodies. So in the state of meditation, I would be able to project my consciousness into someone else's body and see where they had trauma. Like if they had a back injury, I could see it. If they had unforgiveness or like heartbreak or something, I could see it. Like I would be able to know what happened and how to heal that. I also did something called remote depossession, which is pretty interesting. There's actually a free PDF book that you can read, and I would say read it with caution, but it is interesting, and it's called remote depossession.

And I started doing that for my clients and with my clients as well, my hypnosis client. So what I would be able to do, because I could remote view, I could see what if they had like negative spirit attachments to them or past life attachments to them and be able to clear that away so that health issue or the mental or emotional issue that they had been having anymore and I had a lot of really great success with that actually people actually paid me to do that for them I don't have an explanation for it and you know from my my new worldview but um that's It's something that I'm still kind of exploring or asking God, like, what was that all about? But in any case, that's what I was doing.

And, yeah, so a lot of weirdness during, actually during the hypnosis, many times extraterrestrials would come through. So it was kind of like essentially not really extraterrestrials. So I thought that they were at the time. It was essentially like channeling. So the first part of it was past life exploration, and the second part of it was communicating with this extraterrestrial self. I know it sounds really crazy, but many times different kinds of beings would come in and share information about the world, make predictions, give insight, whatever question you had. there were no questions that were that were off limit so anything that you had wondered about you could ask these beings and they would give you an answer so for a very curious person

very appealing but I didn't realize it but at the time that I was practicing QHHT I was I was becoming different I was becoming more withdrawn from my family I was angry at my mom for constantly talking to me about Jesus because I really did not want to hear it. I was very happy with my beliefs, very content with what I believed and what I practiced. So I'll make sure I'm not going over anything, like missing anything. So like a lot of the people who practice QHHT are very much into,

philosophy and new thought. So that's kind of what new age is. It's just like an amalgamation of all these different philosophies and of our world and our universe, like philosophy, new thought, evenarianism to a degree. I mean, nobody would call it. I studied yogis. I was reading Yogananda, Hinduism, all these different gods that the Hindus have and stuff like that pretty much anything but Jesus Christ honestly but as I said like it wasn't

so kind of it's still fresh it's so hard for me to kind of process that because it was a love hate sort of thing like I loved what I believed in I really really did believe it and um it's all about love like it was only about love it was all about love and light like if you ever talk to a new age person. They'll say love and light, you know, and they are in that community, truly the most love. Very accepting of all different walks of life. So within the same community, you can have Wiccan, you can have Satanists, you can have pagans. Most of the people that I communicated with and were close friends with were what you would call pantheists and that you just see God in everything. You believe that God is in everything. You believe that everything returns.

to love, everything returns to light, and that there really is no good and evil. It's all just neutral. It's all a matter of perspective. And that's what I truly, really believed. But so what happened last, about this time last year is I actually had left my husband for a little but, you know, we had been together since we were teenagers, but he was pretty, it was not very good to me most of that time. And there was a lot of pain, a lot of resentment that I was hanging on to. And, you know, no matter how much I meditated or practiced, a law of attraction or how much hypnosis I did, whether it was with other people or, you know, self-pignosis.

no matter how much, quote-unquote, energy healing I did. Like, I was so unhappy in my marriage. I just felt like a prisoner. And about this time last year, I ended up leaving him between mid-November and until I came home. And I'll describe what happened during that period of time. I was staying with one of my very good friends and his wife. So I was not at home. And I had spent some time with my parents over the holidays and my kids.

I just want to be sure to say, like, everybody but me thought that there is something demonic or supernatural going on with me. Everybody but me felt that way. Everybody in my direct life, like my family. And my daughter's best friend has seen something manifest. best on my face. She said it looked like a scary, evil man as I was talking to her. And she said, Lauren, you need to figure out what to do with your pain. Like, there's something I touched to you and it's because of your pain. And I just totally wanted to blow it off. Um, my husband to you in a prayer session, a private prayer session. So I should say, like, when I left him,

he rededicated his life to Christ. Like he got right with the Lord because he was just, God apparently had been putting it on his heart for many years to be the priests of our family, to be the head of our household, the spiritual covering and the spiritual protection. But he was running from something that I won't mention, but let's just say he he did everything to me wrong in a marriage that you can do besides physically hurting me.

And he was constantly like running from this thing that he did. And he knew that in order to step up and be the man that God wanted him to be that he was going to have to own up to do what he did. And he wasn't and he wasn't ready to do that. But in the meantime, I was off doing whatever I wanted. to do spiritually and opening all these doors and everything. And I had valid reasons to leave him. He was not good to me at all. And he had broken our vows and in many different ways.

And I mean, so there was a question there. Everybody knew I had every right to leave him. But all of them were believers and knew that God could make it good and did not think that we should. um, tear apart our family. And this is too, like, I'm, I'm not speaking at all towards anyone else who comes from, uh, who, who are divorced or who have, who are not with their children anymore or anything. Like, this is just our situation. I just want to make sure everybody understands that. Um, everybody in our life was advocating for us to keep our family together but me.

Like, I was at the end of my rope. I did not want to be with him anymore. I was tired of always hoping for him to change and stuff like that. So when I left, he pretty much got on his face and started going to a Bible counselor and started taking the kids to church and stuff like that and was really stepping up, not for me, but for the kids. Like, he knew that he had to, it was God for them because he had seen, like, the direction that I was going in, which he didn't agree with it, but he never tried to stop me either. And I was spending time with my parents over the holidays, and God was really speaking to me.

My philosophy, my worldview at the time was all about, like, synchronicities, number sequences, and following the synchronicities and stuff like that. Well, God really started to speak to me on my own terms. As I challenged him, now I had everybody praying for me, but I was really challenging God. And here in South Carolina, we have plenty of billboards, which it just says, like, Jesus across the billboards are like, like, that's not uncommon for South Carolina at all. And when you're not a believer, when you're in the secular world, it really truly is so annoying to see stuff like that. And I definitely had a very secular view of God and of Christians.

And we all know what that secular view is, is that they're hypocrites, that, you know, they're the first one to, you know, they just are constantly preaching at you, but not living up to who they say Jesus is and to be loved to people and stuff like that. So, you know, and we all know about the problems in the church. And so I was really focused. on that and just like listen i don't want any part of that at all um the community that i associated myself with in the new age was very loving and accepting of all different kinds of people

and um there was no judgment at all and i really loved that and i was not about to easily leave that behind but um i won't go into too much of like the um the faith aspect of it but um My mom and my husband were always very harsh with me. Like they were, and I'm not throwing them under the bus at all. This is just their personality. They would kind of weaponize the scriptures against me because they were so afraid for me, which they had every right and every reason to be afraid for me. But God was always very gentle with me, and he spoke to me in ways that I understood,

and that was through synchronicities. And there was this little book that my mom had that was about street kids, and it was about this nun who would go and minister to these street kids and stuff. And that really moved me because it kind of brought me in the new age, you're not in reality. Not very much. Like there's this emphasis on never thinking negatively to never, like fear is like the enemy, which it is in Christianity too, but it's kind of, they take it to almost. like a silly, a silly extent where you never talk about anything negative and you kind of just put

your blinders on to all the evil that's in the world and you just say, not in my reality, not in my reality, but the reality is that there's evil in the world. And that really, that little book about those straight kids, about these children that had grown up in these terribly abusive homes and then their only option was to leave home as children and to go live on the street and basically go into prostitution or into drugs or whatever just to survive. Like, I couldn't think of a more horrible life for somebody. And this nun was ministering to them.

And that really, like, I thought to myself, would I tell them to meditate? Like, if I were talking to these kids, would I tell them to, like, to meditate themselves out of their situation? would I tell them to think positively until they're out of their situation? No, I would tell them about God. I would tell them to pray and let's like let me help you. And I would, they don't have family. It's like that's the most important things is faith and family.

And I would want to be a family to them because they don't have that. And like, those are very Christian ideals, not New Age ideals, you know. and that little book really hit home for me. But, I mean, that wasn't the end-all-be-all. I was still, it just made me think. And then I was at my friend's house, and I was doing some work for them, and they were still asleep in bed.

And my mom sent me this article about the things that I believed and how it was Luciferian. And, like, you will never hear that spoken of in any new age community. But for the first time, I actually read the article,

and it dawned on me. Oh, it was a dead dawn on me. It was, like, a freaking smack in the face. She's right. All this stuff that I believe is right here. It's all Luciferian. God spoke to me, and I knew it was God. I just didn't want to believe.

I was just pretty much saying, like, I'm not going to be a Christian. I knew God was calling me. I knew he was talking to me. And I knew it was him. I knew it was not the universe, like the nebulous universe, or the force prana or whatever. I knew it was Jehovah God. And he was saying to me, you know, Lauren, if you're going to be, if you're going to going to, if you're, if you're going to call yourself open-minded, then don't you at least owe it to

yourself to investigate this further so that you know for sure that what your mom is saying is incorrect and you can, um, in an educated way, defend yourself and tell her, look, I believe what I believe and this is not what you say it is. And so he was using my own, philosophy to kind of, so I was like, because I was like, yeah, you know, you're right. If I'm going to call myself open-minded, I at least need to look into this further. And then he says to me, well, you haven't watched Stephen Bankard's testimony. It's been years, and you still haven't watched it. And for people who don't know, Stephen Bankers, he used to write for a blog called Spirit

Science and Metaphysics. And at the time when I had Facebook, I followed him on Facebook, and I read his articles. And he was, you've seen him on Michael Heiser, probably. Well, yeah, and I believe that he actually, that was his magazine, wasn't it? Yeah, it was his blog, Spearing Science and Metaphysics. Yep. And he was all into all the same stuff that I was into. And one day, he just says on his Facebook profile, he's out, he's become a

disciple of Jesus Christ and he's shutting down the blog and everybody was like so hateful towards him and stuff. I just want to say an interject real quick that what you just said is is really just a fraction of what was going on in his personal life with that because he actually gave up hundreds of thousands of dollars a year. He was very, very, very wealthy person talking about this stuff. about this stuff, giving speeches about this stuff. And he literally one day just threw it all away, just turned it all off. And whether people believe in God, Jesus, or whatever, it's relevant to the

fact that he literally, Stephen literally had something happened to him in his heart that literally made him throw away hundreds of thousands of dollars a year. Like something happened to him, transformed him to the point where he couldn't stay making the same money he was making. He literally threw it away. So it was something very serious for him. And I may not be drawing out the picture well enough for people to understand what I'm trying to say. But like whether you believe in God, Jesus, or anything like that, it just, just understand that this guy had such a life transformation that he was willing to walk away from all his wealth because it really penetrated his soul that much.

I just wanted to stress that because it wasn't just like he stopped blogging one day. He literally threw away a career of hundreds of thousands of dollars. He was made. Yeah. I would strongly suggest this for anybody to, all you have to do is put in YouTube, Stephen Bancar's testimony. It comes right up. It's pretty short, it's 15 minutes long.

And he did. And I just had so much in common with Stephen Bancars. We were interested in all the same things. And especially with the ancient aliens stuff, I was super, because of the hypnosis, which is a big extraterrestrial aspect of that type of hypnosis, this was very prominent. And I was very into ancient aliens and everything.

And so was he. and so I really didn't know his full story when God told me to look at his testimony. I just knew that one day he was writing blogs about chakras and energy work and all this kind of stuff, like not in a woo-woo way, but a very articulate way. He's a very intelligent person, and it was just a great mental fodder for me. And, you know, the next day, he was done. And I never watched his testimony when he came out and said that he was a disciple of Christ. I pretty much just wrote him off and didn't think of him again until God said,

look, it's been years. Why don't you just watch his testimony? What's the worst it could happen? And so I did. And I immediately felt the conviction of the Holy Spirit. I'm trying to get emotional. if I'm emotional, it's not because it's painful, it's because it's just,

I'm just so thankful for what God's done in my life. But at that time, I watched his testimony, and then I watched another one, and I watched another one and another one, because there are so many new age to Jesus Christ videos on YouTube, so many occult to Jesus Christ or witchcraft to Jesus Christ, like there's there's so many i never ran out of them i just kept watching them and as i did that and as i began to really open my heart to the true jesus christ because in the new age we do have

jesus christ we have a form of jesus christ that people say he's an ascended master they say that he is or an extraterrestrial he is a divine enlightened being that came to give us Christ consciousness so that we can all become like Christ. And that's Luciferianism, so by the way. Okay, let's talk about a sponsor for today's show, which is Pretty Litter. You know, hiding out during the long winter months means a whole lot of downtime at home. And if you're a cat owner like me, you might be apprehensive about being within no shot of the litter box for hours on end, especially when it's due for a refresh.

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You can't change the weather, but you can change your kitty litter. Make the switch like I did today. Go to pretty litter.com and use the promo code Tony, T-O-N-Y, for 20% off your first order. That's pretty litter.com promo code Tony. Before we move any further here, you meant what you just said about Christ's consciousness and how that's Luciferian. Why don't you, if you don't mind, or I can try at least. break that down as far as why. Because if you were to just say Christ's consciousness is Luciferian, it's like, whoa,

wait a second, I consciously should be like Christ. That's biblical. Why is that Luciferian? But what you're saying is more along the lines of like what Oprah believes and preaches, which go ahead and explain. Oprah, Eckhart Tolley, and them, you know, those big names. So the idea is that. Jesus came to show us the way to be enlightened.

And that Christ's consciousness is not a person, that Christ is not a person. Christ consciousness is this all-loving energy that has come to our planet to help us to enlighten and to help us to ascend into the next dimension of consciousness. I know that's really far out for people who don't know anything about that stuff. So what it does is it replaces. So it makes it very easy for people who come from a Christian background to start believing in New Age practices because you can still say, I believe in Jesus, you know.

But you believe in like an ascended master version. Christ's consciousness is supposed to be the energy that helped Jesus, the man, become a, enlightened and that we can all become that way. We can all become enlightened and not have to return to the earth again to be reincarnated. And I mean, basically, it's like not not become Christ's like, but become Christ through Christ's likeness is really what they push. I mean, not that that Jesus Christ isn't the only way to heaven. Jesus Christ isn't the way to heaven. Jesus Christ isn't the way to heaven, but Christ's consciousness, Christ's likeness creates a Christ in you that allows you to go through heaven through your own way. It takes the sacrifice of Jesus Christ

on the cross out of the picture, and that is very Luciferian. Yes. And so the idea of it is that we're all our own God, little G, we're all God. And that's the essence of Pantheism. We're all God. And Christ, the idea of Christ's consciousness allows us to all be our own creators and all be our own gods. And that

essentially is Luciferianism. Essentially the social Satanism. So we're not talking about like the evil Satanism. You know, there's different kinds of Satanism, but the most well-known one is that you become your own God and that you basically are serving yourself.

So that's essentially what Luciferianism is and what New Ages is just dressed up in love and light and dressed up as serving. We all, like, I can tell you, I felt like I was serving humanity. I thought I was serving humanity. I really did. And especially through hypnosis and helping. people that way. I never for a second thought that I was being self-serving or that I was worshipping myself.

I really did not. So these practices are very deceiving and very sneaky in that way. But when you break it down bare bones, because no new age person will say, oh, yeah, I'm Luciferian. You know, when my mom would say that to me when I was in it, I thought she was crazy, crazy. so but when you break it down you really start to study it that's what's luciferian in it is the pursuit of knowledge and enlightenment as yourself as god that's how god big g becomes the universe or prana god big g anymore that makes sense um so let's see where was i um yeah so i as i started just watching one testimony video after another and really opening my heart to Christ,

to the real Jesus Christ, the authentic one of the Bible. These beings that were my angels and my guides, because I was, you know, I had beings around me all the time that I called my guides. I knew them. I talked to them. They helped me. You know, they're the ones that when I was doing, tarot cards, like they were the ones choosing the cards and stuff like that.

I did the whole thing, tarot cards, the crystals, everything. And they were always around me. And in the New Age, they're called your guides and your angels. And they started turning on me. The more testimonies that I watched and the more that it was evident that I was feeling convicted by the Holy Spirit and that I was really starting to believe, these people on these videos said. Can I interject your people?

Yeah. Okay, so I just want to confirm with what you're saying because what you just said is that your guides were there to comfort you, support you, and guide you through life, but the more you felt convicted and the more you started looking into Jesus Christ and Christianity and following, not Christianity itself as in like the religion, but following Jesus Christ. It's very important to understand. And I know this is not typically the in-depth that I usually go on the show, but I just want to say that it's very important to understand, one, that it's not Christianity that is the threat. It's literally Jesus Christ that's the threat. And you were looking into Jesus Christ. And so your guides and these spirits that's supposed to love you and guide you through life and care for you on a spiritual level are starting to show a different side of them, an uglier side of them. And that's not untypical. That is something that happens a lot.

If you look into New Ages and you look into the New Age movement, almost everybody who comes out of the New Age movement and turns to Jesus Christ has a very similar story of their guides turning on them. What you just said, guides turning on you, is a very common phrase. And I just wanted to stress that before you moved on. I'm sorry. Glad that you are. It should be stressed because it is not unusual.

Well, my story is not uncommon. There are a plethora of the exact same thing. Once somebody starts to really open their heart to the idea of Jesus Christ as our Savior and our king, those beings that were there to help you do start to turn on you. And so what they did was they mentally tormented me. The more I sat there and watched these videos, I became more and more mentally and psychologically distressed. Not because I was afraid that I was going to be punished by God,

but because these beings essentially energetically were threatening me energetically. And we're coming against my mind. And at that point, if anybody other than my family had seen me, they probably would have had me committed because, All of these voices were clamoring like a cuckophony at one time in my mind. All of these questions and accusations, trying to cloud my mind and give me a lot of fear in my body and, like in my soul. Give me a lot of fear and anxiety. And they were truly coming against me.

And the more that I watched these testimony videos, the stronger it got. and after a couple hours of this and just not knowing what to do, because I didn't have an automatic change in my belief, I was kind of in this weird in-between now where I'm just realizing that I was wrong, but still still myself. Like I didn't, well, let me just keep going. I'm going to get myself all twisted up here.

So I said, God, I don't know what to do. These things are after me now. What do I do? And God said, go get under the protection of your husband right now. And I did not want to go home. I was hell-bent on leaving this man. I did not want to be with him. I did not want to be married to him.

He had hurt me so much in every possible way. And God said, go get under his protection. And while I was gone, he became a different man by the power of the Holy Spirit. He is completely changed by the grace of God. And I went home. My kids were at school, and I sat on the couch and just continued to watch testimony videos and be tormented by, I was compelled to watch the testimony videos, but I knew every time I did, it was getting stronger and stronger that these things were coming against my mind.

and my emotions. But that didn't stop me. I kept watching them. And he finally, my husband finally came home and I pretty much just threw myself in his arms and explained to him what was happening. And he had actually talked to somebody about spiritual warfare. They told him this was going to happen. So he was prepared for it.

And he took me in very graciously. late and like there was no talk about anything about like any any kind of like dirty laundry being brought up or accusations or anything like that he just took me in and protected me started praying over me praying for me he could tell that I was in great distressed and like I said we we never slept together in the same bed for many years and that night. He slept with me. And he just prayed for me all night. He had his, you know, just holding me all night because I was scared. I was so not of God, not that I was in trouble, but these beings were after me hardcore. And I really think it would have been much worse for me if it had it been

for my husband's protection over me. Because if you go and like watch videos or anything, a lot of people have it much worse without any kind of protection over them. So that night, I was actually, I would fall asleep and I would dream about demons, and then I would wake up and be repenting, and I would just be asking Jesus to forgive me and to help me and to save me and to save my friends. And then I would fall back asleep and dream about demons again, and then wake up and be repenting. that carried on all night.

And then finally, in the early hours of the morning, I had a dream that was not like a dream. It was like one of those dreams that are very real. And standing in front of me was this demon or being that we would call a demon probably. And I had actually seen this thing before when I was meditating maybe about a year ago. and when I was meditating, I was very good at seeing outside of my body. Like I said, I was very practiced at remote viewing. So I was looking outside of my body and I saw this demon standing to the left of me.

And when it saw that I saw him, he ran and hid, which I thought was weird. But for whatever reason, in my ignorance, it didn't alarm me. I was just like, oh, that's weird. but this was the same being and it was it's like dark brown with leathery skin sort of a flat nose

a small mouse sort of almond shape eyes I guess and these great big thick horns I mean big themselves and he was wearing a light blue

cloak and carrying a staff and in this dream it was against a purely white background. He's standing there. And he says to me, your mind,

you belong to me forever because of the blood sacrifice. He's just telling me matter of fact lately. There's no, and there's no like, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha- I'm going to scare you.

Exactly. What blood sacrifice? So I, I, like, jumped awake. Like, God, what does that mean?

What blood sacrifice? I've never done any ritual of magic in my life. And I immediately thought of my great-great-great-uncle who was in the Demons Club, the Society of Osiris, and thought that maybe it was him at some point. But I would later learn that, and I can get into this if you want me to, but that there's something called blood alters that's like a curse

and I think it was referring to that and it could be thousands of years old and I don't want to I just really don't want to scare anybody with that because there's no reason to be scared especially if you have you have Jesus Christ like I'm not scared of the stuff at all but at the time I was very scared

and um so I would say go ahead and scare them I mean it's supposed to be a show where people get scared so go ahead Okay, well, if this isn't scary enough to scare you, like, scare you straight, I don't know what would be, but, um, I don't know of sleep after that, just sort of like asking God, what is this blood sacrifice? What does he mean that I'm his forever? And I know that I knew that was untrue, but, um, it's not like, you know, the Holy Spirit was working and Jesus was working. I fully believe that they were, that they were there with me.

They were in this battle with me, but I couldn't feel. them yet. Like, it wasn't like an angel ascended from the heavens and, like, fought all these things off and stuff. It was, it was a progression and a, yeah, it's like a slow trickle. It's like a slow trickle sometimes where it's like, yeah, because there was so much darkness around me. Yeah. I mean, sometimes it happens in a blink of an eye for people and sometimes it's a slow trickle effect where they're literally pursuing God and they don't feel them. They know he's there, but they don't feel them, and then over time, they gradually start feeling more and more, and it takes persistence. And that's hard. That's hard to pursue the invisible God that you can't lay your eyes on,

but pursue them when you don't feel anything about it. That's hard to do. That's hard to do. Well, that's what I was doing. That's what I was doing. But it's like, I knew that the Holy Spirit was telling me that the Jesus Christ of the Bible was real, that he really came and did what the Bible says that he did. But, like, I didn't, it wasn't, like you said, it wasn't the blink of an eye change or anything in me. But I just knew. I knew that they were right, but I still had to go through this stuff.

So I very much went through it. And that morning, I got in the shower after my husband had gone to work. not even because I needed a shower. I just felt yucky. I felt so I felt evil all over me and in me because when you're in the presence of the Holy Spirit,

you just, you feel us compared to his righteousness and his glory. It feels gross. And I just had this gross feeling all over me. And I got in the shower and I said,

Jesus, show me what I'm dealing with here. Like, I don't know what is going on. just need to know what I'm dealing with. And I had my eyes closed. And he showed me. He showed me this creature. And it's going to sound very familiar to you. So this thing had like a humanoid shape.

It was a shape of a man. And he had a very large, like abnormally large bulbous head with sprouts of hair sticking up all over. Like it was very thin and sparse, but it was like sticking up. And he had hair. Huge crazy eyes. And like you could see the lights of his eyes all around. And he had a grimace that made it look like he was smiling. He wasn't smiling, but he had this mouth full of gnarly jagged teeth.

And to wear this, like, I guess its skin are like how we would describe it. Skin of his lips. It was pulled back so much from these teeth. that it made from ear to ear that it made it look like he was smiling. He wasn't, but it just had that look to it. And I tried to look away. I said, no, that's my imagination. And Jesus said, no, you asked for it.

That's it. That's what you're dealing with. And he said, go call your husband and tell him to come back. You can't do this on your own? And so I jumped out of the shower. I said, can you take the day off today? he came right home and I told him what happened and what I saw and he was just beside himself because during a prayer session that he was doing for me, he saw this thing and it was laughing

at him while he was praying for me and mocking him. He saw the exact same thing and I later found out that I did a hypnosis session with our oldest son a few years ago, and he also saw it, but didn't want to freak me out and didn't tell me. He saw it attached to me. So I think that this thing has been attached to me since birth, honestly. I think it's what spoke it to me when I asked Jesus into my heart and said, that's enough. I think it's what has always been talking to me. Never told me to do bad things or anything like that. But sometimes I think I was hearing it and not God when I thought I was hearing God.

And so my husband called up the church that he had been going to, and he took me to church a wreck. I was just, I can't even really explain it. I looked like I was having a psychological breakdown. So he went and got the key from the office, and we were walking because the church, building was across the street from the church office. And when we got the key from the office and we were walking across the street to go into the sanctuary, this thing started trying to choke

me from the inside of my throat and trying to keep me from going into the sanctuary. But we finally got in there. And I laid down on what would be called the altar, but it's more like a stage because it's a pretty big sanctuary. So it's more like a stage where the pastor teaches from. And I laid down there and my husband grabbed a Bible and sat down next to me. And as soon as he sat down, something metal, like some part of a light fixture or something fell or was thrown at him, like right between a shoulder blades. like soon as he sat down with that Bible and um he was pretty scared he was trying to be tough

but he was pretty like he'd never dealt with anything like this before we hadn't really talked in months like we did not have a relationship and um here his wife comes home and she has to be exercised you know it's pretty surreal for him yeah um but he was he was warned that it was going to happen. And so he opens the Bible. He starts just reading randomly from the Bible, from Psalms, I think, and doing what, the only thing he knew to do was to cast it out in the name of Jesus Christ, you know, just the way that the disciples did it in the Bible. And I started, like, rolling away from him. Like, I at this point was very much outside of my body, kind of I wasn't fully aware of everything that was going on.

I was kind of like an observer of it all. So I was not rolling away from him, but something was rolling me away from him. And like I was like coming off the stage kind of. And he had to push me down. And he put one hand on my head and one hand on my chest and was praying for me. and he kept saying profess Jesus of Lord, profess Jesus is Lord, and I was having a very strong cognitive dissonance over this

because I was thinking to myself, well, I don't know if I believe Jesus is Lord. I know that sounds crazy after everything that had already happened, but I was like, I really don't know because I have these demons speaking to me, telling me all these things like, this isn't real, this is just your shadow, and what about this and what about that and all these questions, like, all these questions that I used to have when I was younger, that really made me doubt my faith and everything, and they just kept throwing all that at me,

but he just kept saying, profess Jesus was Lord. So I did. I pretty much made myself, I did believe it, but I didn't, but I did. It was really confusing. But I did start to say it out loud, and I just said it over and over again, and he's praying for me. And then I screamed like this crazy, crazy scream that was a mixture of agony, pain, just terrible emotions you can think of is what it sounded like all at one time. Long scream, it was, and like I said, I didn't really have the mess of what was going on.

So my, me is Lauren, I was kind of like, man, this must sound really terrifying. But it wasn't like it was me that was screaming. I was just kind of watching and or listening, I guess you could say. And he said that my mouth opened farther than was humanly possible. What I remember thinking is, man, my jaw really hurt. He said, and he's a big guy, he's got big hands. He said he could have fit his whole entire fist with room to spare in my mouth,

that it was just like a movie, where the mouth opens way farther than should be possible. as I was screaming this out. And at the moment where this thing, I guess, left me, I had a vision and my eyes were closed. It wasn't an open vision, but it was a vision of all these countless, countless, countless different types of beings. The sense I could see many of them, but the sense that I got was that they were innumerable.

They were, you literally could not count them. And they were so, so many. I saw great aliens. I saw humans. I saw goblins and different types of, like, creatures and monsters and monsters. And the message that I got, or I guess, what I could say that I understood in that moment when this thing left me was that if it's not an angel of the Lord, it serves the God of this world. It's just a very clear message. there's different types of beings that inhabit this world and even around it and inside of it.

And they all serve the God of this world. And if it's not an angel of the Lord, then it serves a clear message. And so then I guess that was pretty much over, but I wasn't better yet. I still had a venomous hatred towards my husband, which I knew was not me. So we both knew that this battle was not completely over yet. For the next couple of weeks, I would say week or a week, I turned my phone off. I was catatonic. I could not do anything, anything.

I could not engage with my children. I could not take care of my animals. I could not get off the couch. I had just enough strength to go to the bathroom, basically. I don't remember eating if I did. all I could do was lay there for a solid week and watch testimony videos because the Holy Spirit kept saying to me edification edification edification because the battle was not over yet but when I say I was catatonic I mean that I was in a bad psychological way for a solid week

and we started saying a deliverance prayer together every morning and every night and and I am cautious to use that term deliverance because there are a lot of very conservative believers in Christ who will say that, you know, deliverance isn't in the Bible, you know, a Christian can't be demon possessed, and at this point I would have been considered a believer. I was a Christian. At this point, I believed that Jesus came for my sin, died on the cross, and rose again, and is the king of all creation. At this point, I fully believed that,

and yet I was still dealing with demonic energies in and around me, and they needed to be dealt with. So we were saying this deliverance prayer, and every time we did, I would cough, cough and cough, and cough were yawn and yawn and yawn, and they do say that the spirits coming out of you. And things got better, but it took me three months to be able to work, to be able to have the strength to do anything.

So it was a pretty long season of deliverance. There was even one day when I just felt really sick like I was going to vomit, but it was a weird, it wasn't like physical sickness. It was like spiritual, and I just laid on the couch and listened to praise and worship music and read the Bible and prayed. and out of me one of them was called Pharaoh one of them was called Marduk and these are well-known demonic energies and so it was like things like that for several months where I just kept giving up these different that had names I didn't always know their name but there were sometimes when they came out of me where I

just knew their name, I just knew what they were associated with. And that went on for several months. I mean, there's still sometimes, it's been, that was January. That was the 5th of January when I came home. And it's been a long process, but I can say that our family completely resurrected our marriage completely and totally. We just renewed our vows last, not last week. a couple weekends ago and all the funny business has stopped pretty much.

He and I have both experienced an attack at night since then. And I noticed that when I'm not around him, like if I go to visit my mom or my grandmother and I'm not at home like overnight, that I don't feel safe and I feel like something's trying to get at me if I'm not under the protection of my husband. But for the most part, the kids don't experience things anymore. I don't really experience things anymore except for the random. We know how to handle it now and truly been a miracle because only God could have restored.

But that's what happens. And that's it. Well, finally, for sitting here for two hours. I was kidding. As a been two hours. As right now, it's an hour and 53 minutes. So. Oh, okay.

But, no, it's fine. It's fine. I'm playing with you. I appreciate you open up and sharing these things because I understand it's hard. And even the, the repairing of a marriage can be hard to talk about. And it took me time to talk about my issues that we had and stuff in our marriage. Thank God for us. Yeah.

We didn't have children at the time. It was just her and I. And, you know, we had to go through our process. and, you know, I firmly believe that God softened Lindsay's heart towards me and allowed her a willingness to give me a second chance and, you know, all that stuff. So I, I'm very, and I'm very open about, you know, my life and where I come from and stuff. So if somebody doesn't know that I had marital problems, well, now you do, I, I had marital problems. And, you know, it is what it is. But it does take a lot for you to open up and talk about that.

that. And not to mention the experiences that you just, you know, recalled to us and stuff, especially, you know, transitioning from the new age stuff to a Christian faith, you, you have these experiences and you see this entity. And you even said during, when you were talking, you said, you know, this is going to be, sound familiar. And then you start describing the mouth. And that, obviously it does because that's something that just keeps popping up. I know, it's crazy. When I was like, because I had, when I contacted you initially, I had only listened to like one and a half episodes of the show.

And then after I went back and listened to most of them and listening to the newer ones, I'm like, he's going to think I'm making this up because everybody talks about this thing with these gnarly jagged teeth. But yeah, that's exactly it. I think it's important to, I think it's important to let the audience know as well that when you contacted me, you didn't know who I was, really, and you only heard, like, one episode. You didn't know I was a Christian.

Very impulsive. Yeah. And so, you know, it's not like you reached out to me because, you know, it's like, let me talk to this guy who believes the same thing I believe. You didn't know that I believe the same stuff you believe. So I didn't. And, you know, there's, I'm sure there's, if we talked long enough, we'd find things that we disagree on and stuff, and that's fine.

But, uh, it's really interesting, though, that this thing. keeps popping up in these interviews and everybody, you know, the body, the, the, the, uh, aura about it can be a little different from story to story, but the one thing that keeps popping up is the jacket teeth and the smile. Now, you described it differently though. You know, you said it wasn't smiling, but the way the shape, the, the face or the mouth was shaped, right? Yeah, it was just like, it had the appearance of smiling just because of the way that the skin was pulled back over the teeth. It did look like it was smiling, but there was no benevolence in it. It wasn't, this was just like resting face for this thing.

You know what I mean? Like, it wasn't, it wasn't mocking me, and it wasn't smiling at me, and it wasn't being nice to me either, but it looked like it was smiling. Okay. Yeah, it's really interesting to hear these different stories that people will go through and, you know, how they relate to other stories. And I'm sure some of the people who've experienced what you experienced, and have been on the show or listening right now, and they're like, yes, yes, yes.

So, you know, we should actually form like a support group where we all meet once a week and talk about things. That would be great, actually. 12 steps to recover. Don't let it be on Facebook. No, no, I don't have time for that. You're going to do it on your own. I don't have time to do the 12-step support group for you guys.

That actually might be something I undertake. that sounds like a pretty good idea. I mean, hey, you know, I'll tell you what, I said it kiddingly and stuff, but, you know, you saying that, it may not be a bad idea to kind of look into, you know, the possibility of opening up a support group and stuff and allowing people to come and share. Logistics of doing something like that would be key. I mean, you don't want to have it as like a Facebook group or something like that where anybody can come in.

maybe it would be something like, you know, you as the person that's hosting the group has an email where people can email you, uh, what their, what, why they want to join the group. And if you accept them in your group, then you guys all like every Saturday at noon have a video chat session on Skype or something where you guys talk and support each other. But, uh, it's definitely something that's worth looking into if that's something of interest to you. Um, yeah. I seriously, I seriously feel the call to create some kind of a website just to, for other believers and even people who aren't believers, to reach out to someone who can help them with their paranormal issue and sort of point them in the right direction as how to handle that. Because I didn't have that.

I know a lot of people don't have that and they don't know where to look. You know, they turn to their church and either the pastor is totally lost as to what to tell them or, I don't. A lot of times, you know, not every time, but, or, you know, or they're looked at as crazy, or they're afraid somebody to think they're crazy, so they just don't tell anyone, and it just gets worse. So I would like to be a resource for people, for sure. Yeah, you know, I used to get really frustrated and even, you know, I would say even angry about the state of the American Christian church today. Yeah, yeah. And I've expressed it on the show here and there, but, I mean, in reality, I was fuming about it.

it. I have, I have, I have eased up a little bit on that stuff. Not that I think it's excusable, but in the sense that pastors have a lot of obligations, a lot of responsibilities, and there's a lot of information they need to know as pastors. And this, this paranormal realm that we find ourselves in, they have a general sense and idea of, you know, what they believe and all that stuff. But if you if you want a pastor to understand the ins and outs of Wiccan, new age, all this of the stuff, and how it relates to their faith, I mean, that literally takes years and years and years of studying. And if they're taking years and years and years of studying and really putting the time into that, there's a lot of other things they're neglecting that are probably more fruitful for their congregation.

And so I have come around to the idea that maybe my frustration, though, was true might have been a little harsh at times. And maybe this is my way of publicly coming forward and saying, maybe I was a little wrong in saying some of the things I've said in the past and stuff. But though I believe what I said, I might have been a little bit rough in the past on the state of American churches, particularly the pastors. But you're right. You're right. that there is a lot of not knowing within the church of Christianity in America when it comes to the supernatural side of things. And that's because they have tried to, and this is where I stand pretty, stand pretty firm on it. They have tried to water down what the Bible teaches to

normalize it, quote unquote, so that other people can digest it. And basically the whole thing is to put butts in seats. So you have, you know, you have a church that, you know, has a mortgage of, you know, let's just say it's a $2 million building and the mortgage is, I don't know, $10,000 a month. Well, you have to pay $10,000 a month for that mortgage, not to mention the pastor's salary. So you bring on other people on staff. You try to grow the church and it's about putting butts in seats because you have bills to pay. And so they have watered down what they talk about because they don't say things that are going to scare people away. If you talk about the real supernatural side of life, the paranormal side of life that is in the Bible, it's going to do one or two things. People are

going to think you're crazy they're going to leave or they're going to get scared and they're going to leave. And that's not good for business. And I hate to say it that way, but church in America, for the most part, for a lot of places, have this become a business. And it's wrong. And they need to check themselves. I'm just, I'm just putting it out there and I'm saying it. I don't really care people will agree with me or not. I know there's a lot of pastors that listen to my show. There's a lot of good pastors that listen to my show. But I'm just saying that you're 501c3, which means you're tax exempt, and you need to check yourself on how you're running your organization because you're running it like a business and you're treating it like a business. And you have to

really ponder, are you willing to say certain things from the pulpit? Because a lot of times, you're not. You're just not because you're scared of whose toes you're going to step on. you need to check. Well, I couldn't agree with you more. And there's definitely plenty of pastors who have had experience with the supernatural themselves, and they get it. But, you know, you don't want to come right out of the gate on a Sunday morning with talking about this kind of stuff, you know?

And I think that that's where people like us come into play. Like, just for example, my, our Bible counselor almost didn't believe what happened with me on that altar. And even in Bible counseling sessions, you know, as wonderful as she is, I mean, she helped repair our marriage. And she and her husband remarried us just a couple of weeks ago. She refuses to discuss the idea of the demonic or anything negative spiritually because she firmly believe that if you just focus on Christ, everything will be okay. And I believe that. And I don't believe that deliverance, because there are deliverance ministries and deliverance pastors that are totally out of balance and put way too much emphasis on the dark side and stuff.

And I get that that's what she's against, but we have to understand that there are plenty of people, Bible believing Christians and Jesus Christ believers and disciples that are truly dealing with supernatural attachments, maybe not. possessions, but these evil entities are affecting their lives. And there's really, in the modern church, at least in America, I feel like not really any help with how to handle it. And so maybe the responsibility is not all on the pastors, but for other members of the body of Christ, like us, to reach out to people and help people who are coming out of

witchcraft or coming, or just dealing with, you know, spiritual strongholds that we all do, that I feel have, in many cases, have a spiritual origin to them. So that's my two sons. Yeah, and that's fine. I mean, and here's the thing. I mean, you're right. Like, I don't think pastors, I don't want to hold pastors to a level. It's like, why aren't you talking about this every Sunday? There's a lot of things you need to talk about. And it's called salvation. Jesus Christ, and I get it. I get it. But are you self-censoring around things that you feel uncomfortable talking about or your thing that might scare people away? Just ask yourself that question. And to the other point that you were making about, you know, if we just focus on Jesus Christ, you know,

everything's fine. Well, here's the thing. When you focus on Jesus Christ, you are getting deeper and deeper and deeper into spiritual warfare. The more you do it, the more you do that, the further and further into a war you're getting. You're in a game. It's like you're in a basketball game and you don't even know it. You're playing 10 points down and you don't even know it. Like you're literally getting further and further into this and you don't even know it. What you have to do is understand that the more you focus on Christ, the more attention

you're bringing to yourself from the other side. And every person. And listen, I know, listen, I know that there's a lot of people. that are probably like, what is going on here? Tony is just preaching. And that's fine. Listen, listen. We're well over 175 episodes.

You guys know what you get with the show. And sometimes I just let it loose. And today is one of those days. But you got it. Everybody needs to realize that when you do these things, you are literally going into a war. And the more you do it, the deeper you get into it. And so you have to understand what you're dealing with.

Like there's a real, there's really an enemy. Like if you believe in God, oh, there's God. I love God, this, that, and the other, well, there's an enemy to God. And every single person out there that breeze air into their lungs is valuable to that enemy. They want you. They want you. And so like to say that you're just going to focus on Christ and everything will be fine. True.

Focus on Christ and your soul will be fine. But you might go through a lot of spiritual battles that you don't understand then and you have no idea what's going on around you. If you just would have educated yourself a little bit, you'd be fine, not fine, but you'd have a better grasp of what's going on. I'll tell you. Yeah. Go ahead. I'm sorry. I was just going to say that it just seems like, you know, deliver, not, well, I want to call it deliverance because I don't have another word for it.

But, I don't know, casting out demons or what have you with such a, the first part of, you. Jesus's ministry, you know, when I would say a primary part, and it's just not something that most of our modern church even thinks about anymore. And I think that that could definitely change in our modern church. Because I've heard missionaries, maybe even one on your show, say, like, they didn't even give it any thought until they went to another country. And there's clearly demonically possessed people, and then they have to confront it and be like, oh, yeah, Jesus. just did this, you know, I guess I better do it too, you know. Well, and this thing, it's a very popular belief in amongst many denominations. And that's another thing I have a problem with is so many denominations within the Christian, Christian faith. It's, I believe it's unbiblical. There is there

creates division. There's too much division amongst Christianity itself. But, um, well, you know, I forget what I was going to say. So, it's fine. It's fine. I'm getting, I'm getting, hot under the collar right now with this talk. So I think there's just been a lot of pent-up energy that you, for some reason, have unleashed and, and you, like, you unlocked it. I think it's, I think it's something that needed to be said. Like, this is, it might sound like you're off on a rant or something, but I'm sure that there's somebody who needs to hear this right now. So, yeah, and, you know, I fully know what I'm doing right now as far as I know I'm going to get emails. I know I'm going to get people to say, I'm never listening to

this show again. That's fine. Oh, well, y'all send me the email, not Tony. Send it to me. I get the emails and that's fine. I'm used to it by now. But it's just, it's important to me because I am a Christian. And I have so many people come on the show with different beliefs. And I'm fine with anybody coming on a show and talking about their experiences through their worldviews. I'm fine with that. And I can hold a conversation with anybody. Uh, but then there's a rare occasion, like somebody like you who comes on the show and just for whatever reason, you say some things that pushed my buttons the right way. And I'm just like, okay, time to, time to let it out. And I have no idea if this is going to be good radio or

not, but it is what it is. You put on your preacher Tony hat, your minister. No, don't say that. I'm not a preacher, trust me. You do a great job. People sometimes, you know, because in the beginning of the show when I first started, I mentioned that I went to Bible college, they automatically assumed certain things about me. I'm not a pastor. I never got my degree. I had no desire to be a pastor.

So, yeah, let's just leave it at that. But yeah, Lauren, let me tell you something. I really do appreciate you coming on and talking about these things and sharing your experiences. It's, yeah, I mean, hopefully people enjoy it. as much as I enjoyed it. I mean, I just sat here listening and then towards, I guess, towards the end of stuff, you started saying some things that got me a little riled up and stuff. But, you know, I guess maybe there's somebody that needed to hear it. Maybe I needed to be a little bit more humble and listen back at this and say, you know, maybe I was out of line. I don't know. But

I probably won't take it out. So, yeah, no, I don't think you're outline. And I really appreciate you giving me this forum and space to share this and to, uh, to, hopefully, hopefully help other people. That's the whole reason that I decided to ultimately come on the show because I didn't initially email you with that intent was to ask, you know, I wasn't asking you if I could come on the show. I just, but when Lindsay asked me, well, do you want to be on the show, you know, my only hope is that this is going to help somebody else. So I thank you for giving me that space to share. Sure thing. And I just want to, you know, confirm with what you just said. I mean, even in the email you said, I'm not looking to be on the show.

And I remember Lindsay talking me about your email. I was like, see if she wants to come on the show. So I do appreciate you coming on and actually recording with me and sharing your story. So thank you very much. Thank you, Tony. Well, that's the show, everybody. I really hope you enjoyed it. And if you did enjoy it, please share the show with your friends, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, TikTok, email, watercoolers, mail, pigeons.

I don't care where you share them. But if you enjoyed the show, please share the show with a friend. and I'll see you guys next Tuesday, the last show of the year, December 31st. We got another show coming out. We're going to be interviewing Terry Lovelace and his experience at Devil's Den. So that's coming next week. And until then, friends, stay safe, take care and remember, the truth will set you free, but first it'll piss you off.

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