The Confessionals - 438: Dreams Of Repressed Memories

Episode Date: May 3, 2022

In Episode 438: Dreams of Repressed Memories, we are joined by Missy, who has had many paranormal experiences since early childhood, ranging from shadow entities with glowing red eyes to UFO and alien encounters. As an adult, Missy and her spouse played with an Ouija board, and called forth more experiences than she was looking for.Become a member for AD FREE listening and EXTRA shows: theconfessionalspodcast.com/join Watch Expedition Dogman: https://bit.ly/36z3B4s SPONSORSGET Surfshark: surfshark.deals/confessionals GET Cerebral: getcerebral.com/tony GET SIMPLISAFE TODAY: simplisafe.com/confessionals GET Hello Fresh: hellofresh.com/confessionals16 Promo Code: "confessionals16" for 16 FREE MEALS!!! Get Emergency Food Supplies: www.preparewiththeconfessionals.com Get Beard Oil: bit.ly/2FbOhN5 CONNECT WITH US Website: www.theconfessionalspodcast.com Email: [e-mail] Subscribe to the Newsletter: https://www.theconfessionalspodcast.com/the-newsletter SOCIAL MEDIA Subscribe to our YouTube: https://bit.ly/2TlREaI TikTok: @theconfessionals Discord: https://discord.gg/KDn4D2uw7h Show Instagram: theconfessionalspodcast Tony's Instagram: tonymerkelofficial Facebook: www.facebook.com/TheConfessionalsPodcas Twitter: @TConfessionals Tony's Twitter: @tony_merkel OUTRO MUSIC:Joel ThomasSpotify: https://spoti.fi/3rfKp2LApple: https://apple.co/372JpbiYouTube: https://youtu.be/UWJXf7s3L5I

Fronda, centers of gardener to land. At Cabrera de Mar, we're in a new commencement. This St. George, and the story flourish, because the Rosa, not only is a regal, is amor, emotion,

sentiments. Vine to know Fonda Cabrera de Mar at the National 2, between Quadis and Vienna, where the nature will be flouring the illusions. Merkel

Media This was all circulating around the base that I, giant had to kill but no one was supposed to talk about it. I saw three long, bony fingers, reach up underneath the door, curl up to grab it, and then disappear.

When he came over to me, dude, he slithered over to me. And this giant comes out of the cave and they're all frozen. And he starts running and firing at this giant. With a giant move, he's got a spear in one hand, and he's running really fast. peers, Dan holds him up like this. Somebody else, shoot him in the face, shoot him in the face.

They basically decapitated. I feel something pulling at my leg. And I look over and there are two small gray entities pulling it. And they're literally, I'm getting pulled off the bed. I reached my hand into this bush and I touch air. Couldn't breathe and I couldn't move because I know I'm seeing a monster. Welcome to the show. everybody, you're listening to The Confessionals. I'm your host, Tony Merkel. Thanks for being here.

If you've a crazy wild experience, you want to share with me on the show, go ahead and shoot me an email. My email address is The Confessionals at the Confessionalspodcast.com. That's The Confessionals at the Confessionalspodcast.com. Or go to the website, theconfessionalspodcast.com. Hit the contact section and you can reach me that way as well. Either way works for me, just get a hold of me. If you want more shows on a weekly basis, go to the confessionalspodcast.com. Hit the join button and become a member today. There you'll get access to all the member episodes and overtime content, plus the Tuesday shows, add free on the Castos app. So if you are interested in all the good content, go to the confessionalspodcast.com, hit the join

button and become a member today. Also, friends, go to prepare with theconfessionals.com. That's prepare with the confessionals.com. Been talking about them since 2020. When the world started going to hell, I started reading the tea leaves, and I started seeing what was coming, and I decided to start offering preparedness food on the website. And I'm glad I did, friends. So go to prepare with the confessionals.com and you can get yourself emergency supplied food that will last with 25 years on the shelf. It comes in a big five-gallon bucket completely sealed. And I was just told by my Patriot supply this past week that they do offer a payment option so you don't have to have all the money up front to get your emergency supplied food now. You can actually choose to pay as you

go. And that is a great option for people who want to be prepared now, but don't have all the funds to be able to do that, they can pay on a payment plan. So if that interests you, go to prepare with the confessionals.com. Also, friends, before we get into this week's show, I just want to give a shout out to everybody who listens and just thank everybody for the support you've given me over the last month. I spent the last month of April moving to Tennessee. It has been chaotic. Most of the show, in fact, all the shows, I believe that you listened to last month, whether it was the public shows or member shows were pre-produced well in advance. I have not recorded anything until what you're hearing right now.

And so I might be a little rusty, but I'm recording out of my house, and it has been proving to be a little difficult with the kids. There isn't a quiet space in my house like I had in the other one, so we're working on fixing that and finding a solution. But everybody's been very supportive on social media and emails, wishing me luck, welcoming me to Tennessee. I really do appreciate it everybody. And also, just to give everybody a shout out as well,

that watched the documentary on. YouTube. We came out with Expedition Dogman on YouTube a month ago, pretty much, almost a month, a little more than a month ago. We dropped it on March 25th, and we have now surpassed 150,000 downloads on YouTube. So that is a huge success of my mind. We were aiming for the stars. We wound up hitting another galaxy, and I really do appreciate that. We're working on the next documentary right now. We're going to be shooting and filming in the coming months here, and it's going to be a good one. So just stay tuned for that because we're going to be rocking and rolling on more and more documentaries as we branch out and expand what we do at Merkel Media. All right, this week we have Missy coming on the show.

And Missy is going to be telling us her experiences, life of experiences, but mainly circling around the paranormal and extraterrestrial. She has experiences with spirits and ghosts and UFOs and alien encounters. So let's get to Missy right now. All right. Today we got Missy on the show. Missy, how are you? I'm great. How are you, Tony? I'm doing good. I'm doing good. Can you still hear me okay? I can hear you fine. Great, great. I just, I forgot to do a setting on my recording and I had to switch it real quick. So I just went, okay. We're all good. So Missy, you contacted the show and you have some of these experiences going from childhood to adulthood. And as a kid, you, I guess when you were young, real young, you had an experience with some kind of black figure. So start us off in your childhood with this experience. I'm assuming this. I'm assuming this.

is the first one, but if it's not, starts where it all began and kind of work us through your experiences. Okay. It's the first thing that I can remember. I think I was probably about four years old. I live in St. Louis County, but at the time we were in the city, and that's, I'm just referencing that based on, I'm just saying, like, where we lived at the time, this is the house we were in.

So I was about four, and I would go into my mom's room in the middle of the night, like, most kids do and lay down in her bed and I'm trying to get comfortable and I the way the bed is how I'm laying I'm facing the doorway and I just see something as tall as the doorway. I mean it's taking up the entire doorway and you can't see any features at all except for two red eyes. I know that sounds like oh everyone says red eyes but they were it was like two lights instead of eyes. And it was just watching me, like it was observing me. I felt it observing me. And that would be 1983 maybe. So it's not like there's a lot of electronic devices around. So there was that. I said hi to it like it was my sister because in my little mind,

I'm thinking the only person that could be that tall is my sister. But I knew it wasn't anyone, but I knew it was standing there looking at me. I got scared. I covered myself with the blanket. And then that's all I remember. But something that I always thought was interesting was my mom would tell me that she had this horrible dream when we lived in that house at that time. And her dream was that aliens were landing in the alley next to our house. And she doesn't believe in anything paranormal.

And she goes, but then I woke up and there was a fire truck in the alley. And I said, I wonder if it was the same night. I saw the thing because the following years when we moved to our other house. So I just kind of thought that was interesting and it never left my mind. So with the fire truck and now our situation, is that how, like you were thinking that the red, the red eyes were what, the lights from a fire truck? No. I was just kind of thinking when I saw that thing in the doorway, I wonder if it was the same

night that my mom had the dream about the UFO landing, but then it turned out to be a fire truck. So I was just like, I wonder if this was the same night, but probably not. It's interesting. I definitely felt like it was watching me and it just gave me the total creeps and I had to cover up. And that's all I really remember about that part. Now, in that kind of situation, I mean, did you tell anybody that what you saw or did you keep it to yourself? I don't remember because I was so young.

But the next incident that happened at our next house, I did tell. And of course, no one believed me. Oh, boy. So it was probably just a couple years later. And we moved to my stepdad's house. My mom and stepdad had gotten married. And I guess I was about six or seven. And again, I go into my mom's room.

And I lay in her bed. And where I'm laying, and where I'm laying, and where I'm laying, if you just look forward, like, you can see the doorway and the hallway. You can see the length of the hallway and the light was on in it. And I saw, I watched a shadow, but it was darker. It was darker than any dark, you could, like, darker than a shadow silhouette of a person walking out. It stopped in front of the stairs. So if you're looking out of the bedroom door, you can see the hallway, and to the right would be the steps.

So the silhouette stops in front of the stairs, and it was totally silent. And it took what, in my mind, it looked, it took like a bat or like a club and just started banging it repeatedly. And I feel like it was a residual type of thing. It didn't seem like it was, it didn't seem like it had any intelligence to it. It just felt like it was a residual leftover energy from, I don't know if that makes sense, rather than like a life spirit or a life spirit, rather than a spirit. So I kept trying to wake my mom up. And she, this woman, if you tap her or walk into the room, she'll freak out and wake right up.

So she's really easy to wake up. I was shaking her. I'm like, mommy, mommy, my stepdad's in there. No one's waking up. And I don't know what else to do. And it just keeps going on. And finally, I end up going to sleep. But the next day, I said, do you remember me trying to wake you up?

She goes, yeah, kind of. And I told her what happened. She's like, oh, you were dreaming. But I said, no, it wasn't a dream. I was wide awake. I just laid down. And that's the only story from that house, too. But I never felt comfortable in there, ever.

Yeah, you know, that's rough. that's rough as a kid to go through something like that nobody believes you and on top of it it is weird though that you say that your mom is easy to wake up and nobody was waking up when you're when you're doing that yes that's what really stuck out to me yeah and you know sometimes i think about stuff and i wonder very rarely but sometimes i do think uh i i just said sometimes I'm like very rarely though. But I think, you know, sometimes when it comes to this kind of stuff, whether it's, you know, UFOs, aliens to, you know, paranormal, ghostly things, you know, I think it's easy to make this argument what I'm about to say with the whole demonic stuff. But with what you say,

you know, I wonder sometimes if people's experiences are only meant for them. And there's, and it's like, nobody else is going to have that experience with you because whatever you were experiencing in that moment was not meant for anybody else. And so maybe there was something going on even bigger than what you just described with how nobody was waking up when that was even on itself, you know? Or maybe you were dreaming and you just dreamed, right? Like just like, you know, totally. Like I would say that to my own kid. You, oh, I'm sure you were dreaming or something like, oh, you could sometimes be asleep and dreaming and you think you're with. or dreams can seem so real.

So sure, it could have definitely been a dream. But I never felt comfortable in that house. But yeah, other than just not feeling comfortable in there and being scared for no reason, that's the only thing that's happened in that house. But those are like the most minor things that could be easily written off as like, oh, you were little. I mean, I just have a ton of other things throughout my life.

Nothing, not one thing that stands out as huge. Well, there was one thing, but I'll get into that later, I guess. So these two things that you went through as an experienced, experienced as a kid, both of them were some type of shadow entity. Yeah. One. Sorry. Go ahead. I was just, I'm trying to think in my head, just understand the timeline of things.

So one was the first one, which scared the heck out. of your red eyes. Terrifying. Terrifying. And then the other one, as a kid, you had a sense that it was residual? Or is that something looking back on that you were like? As a kid, I felt like if a tape was replaying over and over from a past time, that was the impression I got in my mind.

I've always been extremely sensitive and I could pick up on things that. And I think most kids can and a lot of them grow out of it, especially in society, you know, you're taught that's not real, this and that. So you're kind of, that helps in you for getting how to use or ignoring your sensitivities, I guess. That makes sense. Yeah. Because I feel like some people have more sensitivity and things are maybe drawn to them. Yeah. That makes sense. And I do believe that people, there are some people that are just more sensitive. than others. Yeah. You know, I think that I'm one of those people that is not as sensitive as a lot of people.

I just through my own life and just looking back at everything, I think, you know, because I mean, I personally believe that a lot of this kind of stuff happens around people. We just don't see it all the time or we don't sense it. And I feel like, you know, I don't know, I just feel like, I don't know, I'm deaf to a lot of it. Yeah, a lot of people are, you know, you're, you're. A lot of people are more grounded and rational-minded, I guess, and I'm more open to it. Plus, or just the energy about people in general, you know, how you can get a good feeling about people. And you can tell how they are as a person.

I don't know. I think it all kind of connects in a way. Yeah, I do too. I really do. So carry on, Miss Missy. Okay. Well, I'm just looking at my notes here. It's fine.

So when I was about, this is at the same house, I guess I was about nine or ten. My next door neighbor, so this house we lived in is in the county, the St. Louis County, like the suburbs. And we lived in a wooded area. So still, it was a really nice neighborhood, but we were surrounded by woods just to kind of give you an idea. And my next door neighbor, the boy next door, we were best friends. he was, we're pretty much like brother and sister. And our families are like kind of really close. So I'm leaving. I was over there every single day. So I'm leaving their house and I just have to walk just across the grass to get to my back door. And like I said, I was about nine or 10. And I

glance up in the sky. And there is, it's like a flat on the bottom and a dome top, just like a semi, a perfect semi-circle, totally white. I've never heard of any kind of UFO described in this way. But as soon as I saw it, I started screaming and panicking because in my mind instantly, I knew this was a UFO and it was watching me. It stopped and I felt like it was looking at me. And that's completely insane. But I thought in my head, it is looking at me. It's watching me. It stops and then it's like it saw me, it noticed me noticing it. And then suddenly it just goes, it just flies diagonally quickly. And no plane, no helicopter can do that.

I was really familiar with spotlights. So I knew it wasn't a spotlight. And I just started screaming and I ran inside my house and my mom's like, what is the matter with you? I said, there's a UFO. Oh, and I was just in tears, just absolutely hysterical. And the really interesting thing about that is I've always been totally petrified of aliens or UFOs. If I even saw a picture of an alien, I would just lose it. I mean, and they'd be like, why are you so scared of this?

Like, I don't know. I can't explain it. I've had horrific dreams about now I really feel crazy but I've had horrific dreams to this day as a grown woman being at my mom's and there's like a family get together and all of a sudden aliens are landing in the yard and I'm just frantically trying to find a hiding spot and I'm like I can't look at it because they're going to come get me and I'm, I'm frantically like trying to hide myself and hide my eyes because I can't see them. Another dream I had was about aliens. And for some reason in this dream, I knew that they were my parents somehow. Sounds totally nuts. So that was interesting.

But they're always just absolute terror. I can't even think about them with being absolutely terrifying. and that combined with the thing that I saw, and I felt that it was staring at me as a child. And then just all the stories you hear now makes me really wonder, like, why am I so terrified? What happened? Did something happen?

Like, now that I'm saying it out loud, it sounds completely insane to me. No, I don't think it does, though. I don't. I don't think it does. I can imagine. Like, I'm laughing at myself. No, and I can imagine.

imagine like going through these things, not really talking about with people. And then all of a sudden you're telling, you know, another person, you're like, this sounds insane. It sounds completely nuts to me. No, but. Like, I'm embarrassed. No, don't. See, that's the, don't say that.

It's bad advertising for the show. People listening right now. If you, if you come on the show, you won't feel like her. You won't be embarrassed. It's going to be perfectly fine. Well, I listen to your show all through work. That's what, so I've heard it all. And I've heard the people say, I know this is going to sound crazy.

And I'd always think to myself, God, you know how many times he must hear that a day. Yeah. Oh, yeah. But now that I'm the one talking out loud about it, I feel like it sounds crazy. No, listen. In fact, you sharing that kind of made me spark another question. So let's go back to your childhood. What was the dream that your mom had with the whole alien thing again?

The only thing she told me is that she dreamt that aliens landed either in our yard or the alley behind her house, which was basically our backyard. And that they landed and that they were going to get her. And that's basically all she told me. And that's why I brought her dream up because I would always link it to that experience that I had of the thing as tall as a doorway, staring at me, like observing me with red-clowing eyes. Yeah. So, and my mom would say, oh, no, it was just a dream because when I woke up, there was a fire truck with its lights on in the alley.

I'm like, okay, that makes sense. But it always did make me wonder, yeah. So she has this dream that aliens landed and they're coming to get her. Her. And you're having dreams, you know, of these different types, but, you know, that. I think you said something about one being the aliens being your parents or what? Yeah. I guess I'll elaborate a little bit.

I had a bunch of these dreams throughout a period of my life where I knew that there were aliens there and I was just so petrified and I refused to look. I did not want to look. But I knew they were there. And finally, when I looked over these things. were massively tall. I'm talking probably nine feet tall, but they were skeletons like they had died already. And something in my mind and my dream said, those are your parents, which I don't think it was literally telling me like these are your parents, but it's kind of like it gave me the feeling of like, this is where you come from. Like really? So there's that. All right. So listen, let me ask you

this question. At what point in your life did your mom tell you that dream that she had? Oh, I was an adult for sure in my 30s, at least. Okay. So we're talking about your mom telling you about this dream for the first time, and that's after you've already been having these dreams. Oh, yeah. Yeah. You know, listen, I'm not saying you're being abducted and it's aliens, even though my t-shirt says aliens. I know. By the way, I love your shirt. Hey, it's on the on the store. the Confessionals podcast store. I'm going to have to get it. Lindsay did a great job.

Nice. Designing different t-shirts because she said pretty much I sucked at it. That's awesome. Yeah, let her do it. Yeah. I even wore it and I changed the lights in the studio. I made the lights in the studio match my shirt. I tried making it artsy, you know?

Yeah, I noticed. That's really cool. But anyways, back on track, Tony. Back on track. That's what I do that too. So anyways, the dreams that you're having then. I mean, have you considered the possibility that your mom's dream may not have been so much of a dream as a suppressed memory?

And maybe your dreams are suppressed memories. Absolutely. And I'm just so terrified of that thought. And I always pray out loud to God. God, please don't let me see anything ever because I am sensitive to, I can feel, you know, I don't know. explain it. I can feel like the vibe of a place or a person or whatever. And I am like, God, please do not ever let me see a spirit because I'll lose my mind. And I don't want to remember. If anything did happen to me, I don't want to remember it. There was a time in my life

where I wanted to do some kind of regression therapy. And no, I thought about it. I've watched a few movies where people had that happen. And no, I don't want any part of that because I'm afraid of what I'll remember. That's understandable. It's understandable. Or what someone might plant into my memory and make me think it, you know, regardless, I don't want to go through anything like that. Yeah. No, I get it. And there's a lot of people like you that, you know, they have these, these hesitations to remembering possible memories. And if you don't like the dreams now, good chance you won't like the dreams after you remember certain things.

Yes. Yeah. So definitely. To each their own. And it's just I just found it interesting the correlation between the dreams and everything with you and your mom. So I wish you the best with that, you know? hopefully you never remember a thing.

Thankfully, those types of dreams have stopped. And it was interesting because it went on for a good portion of my late 30s and into my 40. I'm 42 now. Thankfully, those have stopped. But they did seem to just repeat repeatedly. I would have dreams just like that all the time. And I prayed on that too. Like, God, please don't let me have these.

dreams because it's just so terrifying to me. But unfortunately, I had some other things coming to my dreams later on. I can get into that. Let's see. Oh. Okay, I'm looking at my notes again. Before I get into that stuff. So I guess I was 21 and 22 when I lived in this one house.

I was pregnant with my oldest daughter. and we lived there after she was born. Her father and I stupidly would play with the, use the Ouija board. We wouldn't play with it. We actually would use it. I would never now, ever. I know what it can do and I've learned the hard way,

but we used it a lot. And we weren't really young and stupid. This house already had a really, really bad vibe. We had two, large dogs, one of which would stare into the corner of the living room and growl or bark. After my daughter was born, she would stare into, just stare, just completely entranced by something in the corner. You just felt like something really horrible had happened in this house. There was a room that we never would go into. This house we rented, we did not own it. It was

small. It was a three bedroom, but one of the rooms, we kept the door closed. We didn't know why, but everything about that room felt off. I just felt like really terrible things happened in there. We used the Ouija board in that house. Really stupid. And then things started happening. I would make jokes that this house is trying to kill us because just a lot of bad luck. We had a, the roof just completely, after we moved in and turned one of the rooms into the nursery, just that room, the roof started leaking really bad. Okay, it's an old house, whatever. For some reason, we had a family of possums show up in our kitchen cabinets. Okay, it's an old house they found a way in.

but then I'm sitting under the ceiling fan, very big pregnant, and the ceiling fan falls over me, and it's hanging by one wire. So then you could say, okay, it's an old crappy house with an old crappy fan. Then the baby's born, and we had a window unit, AC unit, in the living room. This one night I decided me and the baby are going to sleep in the living room. She's in the bassinet and the AC unit falls out of the window onto a gas pipe that's outside that's been capped. But gas starts pouring into the window, into the house. And had I not been sleeping in the living room, we probably wouldn't have heard it.

And we might not have made it out of the house. I could never sleep in that house. Every time I would even attempt to fall asleep, it was like some kind of electricity would jolt me out of it immediately. We had horrible fights there. There were always these flies. And I was obsessively cleaning all the time.

So our house was clean. My nieces used to joke that I was vacuuming nonstop when I was pregnant. So the house was clean, but there were these flies. We couldn't figure it. It just seemed like they were coming out of the walls. Like, where are these flies coming from? Just so many. Like, it didn't make any, it just didn't make sense.

And you just, we get a horrible feeling. And like I said, that one room stayed closed. We didn't put anything in it. We never even talked about it. We just sort of said, we don't like this room. And I think that's all I got about that house. I knew I didn't want to plant any gardens because I, thought the ground was even contaminated. It just was a bad. It was off, fell off.

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and even businesses secured today. So this house and what was going on, you mentioned about the flies. How many flies are we talking about? Are we talking about like horror movie flies? Are we talking about like, you know, you had 10 in the house? Are we talking about 10,000? It would be like, it was so noticeable. It would be like I would be in the bedroom. And it seemed like they were just coming out of the walls. And so there'd be 10 to 20 in that area.

And we'd get rid of them all. And then there'd be another cluster of 10 or 20, something like that, just seemingly out of nowhere. And then we would hear scratches in the walls at night, which were probably nice. But it just sort of adds to everything. Another night I was just desperately trying to sleep. And I'm in my bedroom. And again, this bedroom, you can look out the door and see the hallway.

And it's a short hallway with about five steps going up to the living room. And I'm laying there. And I watch a ball about, oh, four, six inches in diameter, just float diagonally up the staircase. and there were no way that any sort of headlights could get through the windows because the way our house was situated was it was way up on top of the hill. Another time, I just out of nowhere started just choking and coughing and I couldn't breathe and it felt like something was just in my throat, not letting me breathe. And this is going to be really gross, but out of nowhere, a big glove of like mucus or something. came out of me. And even though that is just some kind of a, oh, well, you had a health, something was going on with your lungs, it just all of it together seemed like it was connected.

And this is the house that you guys did the Ouija board in, right? Yes. Yes. So I feel like that really stirred some things up. And I already felt like something was wrong with the house. To be, I felt like some, somebody had done some terrible things in there. This was an old house and a very old. neighborhood. So that's really possible. So with the Ouija board, did you think you kind of warmed everybody up before you went into the house thing with the Ouija board and you're like, I would never do it now, you know, there's stupid, all that stuff. Did you understand what you were getting involved with when you first started playing with the Ouija board or did you just think

it was all a joke? I did not think it was a joke at all, but I didn't understand how dangerous it be so naive, you know, I understood that it was real, but now I would go back and tell myself, you know, spirits, it's not just spirits I can come in and anything bad, something bad could act like it's a kid or a loved one that passed over, but back then I just thought it was so, this is really neat, it's working, we're talking to spirits. So I definitely believed in it, but I didn't understand the negativity that could come through like I understand now. I understand. So with this experience of the house and stuff, what happens?

What was that? What did you hear? I just heard like a female voice say something. Oh, get the fuck out of here. What? There's nobody here, Tony. Are you serious? Now I'm a little freaked out.

Did you hear that? I heard a noise. I'm going to sit back in this chair now. I heard a noise, but I didn't know what it was. Good God. Like, it was long enough I probably caught it or recording. Do you want to hear back? Yes.

All right. I'm going to pause the recording. We'll be right back, people. Five minutes later. Well, well, well. I recognize it now that you've played it. I don't know why it just said power on the recording in progress. Oh, my gosh.

All right. I'm recording video again. and recording audio again. We figured it out. And that's a good thing too. Thank God, because I was not ready to be. Let the audience know what it was. It was my partner, his computer, said power on.

So, yeah, it was nothing paranormal. Yeah, I was like, that was so clear. And if you didn't hear it, I know I recorded it. I heard something, but these earbuds are really good. I'm still going to sit in that chair because I'm a little stamped out now. That's fine. I need my back against the wall. That's fine.

That's fine. Yeah, I heard that. And it sounded like, like, you know, there was a female voice saying something in the room because it had the sound of the room. Like, it sounded like somebody was in the room with you saying something. Right. Right. And I was like, I don't think I can ignore that one because I know people are going to hear that. Although I'm wondering why it suddenly decided to say power on, but you know, I'm just going to leave that alone.

You know, if something pops up on camera, I'll let you know if there's like eyes behind you, you know. Well, the other night, just so everyone knows, I'm at my partner's house. This is not my home. So. But the other night I was on the phone with him or no, he said, are you awake? Call me. And it's about 11.30 p.m. St. Louis time where I live, 9.30 p.m. California time where he lives. He goes, call me. And I called him. And this man is grounded, rational. He said, he's an engineer. He doesn't, he thinks what I'm doing now is hilarious. So he doesn't necessarily believe in this, in anything supernatural. But he had me call. I called him. And he goes, I just woke up and I got the worst, the biggest. the biggest chill went right down my spine. I felt like someone was here. And he like actually looked

through the house. He didn't, he didn't see any. No one was here. And I'm like freaking out because for him to say that, like, come on, man. Oh, yeah. And now I'm alone here. Did he know you're coming on this show when he felt like that? He did, but he just thought it was funny. And then while I'm on the phone with him, he said, I swear, I thought I saw something. of the corner of my eye run in and out of the room. And I'm like, man, you are not leaving me alone on your house. And here I sit alone in his apartment, hearing power on. Yeah, why is it powering on? Why? Why? Why? Why? I don't know why. Okay. So, um, sorry. That, that was a, an unexpected, uh, coincident or not coincidence, incident on the show.

Oh, good timing. I don't even remember what we were talking about. Do you? Well, we were on the, I was at the end of the house conversation. The Ouija board. The Ouija board. Yeah. Okay.

Well, that threw off my groove. Right, right? The most severe and serious incidences are way more recent. Do you want me to just jump into it? Yeah, let's do it. Okay. I'm just looking at my notes again. I don't want to forget things.

So I tend to have, I used to have night terrors where I would just wake up and start screaming. And those are usually when I'm going through an incredibly stressful time. So that would be pretty normal for me. also I would sometimes start getting sleep paralysis, but that was more recent. I would say within the past seven, eight years. I kind of want to preface this with, I was in about a 10 year on and off again relationship. It was very unhealthy. It was pretty toxic.

And so that would add a lot to my. stress and I started having some pretty bad sleep paralysis to where I felt like I would try to wake up. I would try to open my eyes and it was like I was actually being sucked back into sleep, sucked back like into the bed, could not open my eyes for the life of me, could not stay awake. So it was very, very oppressive. and that went on for a pretty long time. I wasn't getting sleep. It was pretty upsetting.

And the types of dreams I would have could be pretty, it just felt super oppressive and dark. I couldn't explain it. So one of these instances, the man I was with at the time, we were going to go to a concert. This is kind of a side story. We stop at the gas station before we go to this concert.

And he goes inside to pay. And this guy starts walking towards me. And he's wearing all black. He has black fingernail polish on. And it was really strange. And he just looks at me. And he goes, he puts his hand like fist bump. And he goes, can I get some of that?

And I was really confused. Like, what is he doing? And then I'm like, oh, I guess he wants to fist bump me, which is really weird. He just walks up to the car. And so I kind of like, against my better judgment for whatever reason, gave him a fist bump, but immediately regretted it. And he said something like, do you know what a lord is? I'm like, what do you mean?

And he gave, he went on to like give me an exact dictionary definition of what a lord is. I'm like, what is this man talking about? And I kind of laughed. I'm like, and I said something like the Lord, the Lord is coming soon. And I looked at him and the way he was acting and the way he looked with the black male polish and the clothes. And just the smirk he out on his face. I said,

I kind of laughed nervously. And I was like, I hope you don't mean a dark lord, the dark lord, you know, kind of, and he goes, why not?

And I'm like, so just for, remember that. Well, the very, and then he just walks away. So that's just like, what? What the hell was that? And then the guy I was with at the time comes out and he's like, what was that? And I told him like, and we're just, man, that was weird, whatever. So that night, I have this, God, this god awful dream. It felt like evil was just in my dreams. And in my dream, there was like this, just this awful presence. And I kept yelling out.

In the name of Jesus Christ, I rebuke you. I don't speak like that. Like, I don't consciously use those types of phrases. So for me to in my dream scream at it repeatedly, and name of Jesus Christ, I rebuke you is that stands out to me because that's not a normal part of my vocabulary. I mean, it felt like it was real. And I felt, I just correlated it to that guy. And the fact that I fist bumped with him, I regretted it immediately.

I felt like something was attached to him. It came trying to attach to me because I'm already in a weak, vulnerable position, because I'm stressed out in this toxic relationship. And which brings me to like the grand finale, I guess. Um, like I said before, I'm really sensitive. I didn't know if you wanted to say anything. No, go for it. Go for it.

Oh, it's a rambling. Okay. No, no, it's fine. I mean, the guy in the fist bumping and stuff. I mean, uh, it's weird. I mean, I wouldn't walk into somebody who just fist bump a straight. It was just weird. And then when they say dark lord, like, why not?

Oh, right. Maybe he was just trying to scare you and stuff. And he did a good job and gave you a bad dream. He sure did. Right. Right. But, uh, maybe there was something attached. Because I, I, I'm very.

personally, very aware of what physical touch is when it comes to, you know, passing spirits on and maybe you're on entities. I've had that experience. And it took me years to shake when it happened. It's awful. Yeah. It's absolutely awful. It really is. And it's a pain in the butt. And so, you know, it could go either way with that. But it was definitely interesting. I would, this is, bro. You know, first of all, I ain't fist bumping nobody. Okay. You ever hear of COVID? You know, it's like, but this was a few years ago.

And I don't know why I went up. It was like it wasn't even, I don't even know why I did it. Like, why would I do that? Why would I fist bump him back? It was kind of like, okay, like, I don't know. Yeah. Almost like, have you ever heard of the black eyed kids?

Of course I've heard of the black eyed kids. Yes. Well, I know. What kind of question is that asking you? But it was sort of like that. like getting drawn in and just subconsciously just like okay and I just this bump it. Like it's almost like one of those, uh, it's like an invitation like, okay, you're here you go. Come on in. Like I didn't want to do that and I did it. Yeah. And immediately regretted it.

Yeah. It's just, it's a strange encounter. It's a strange encounter. And, uh, just weird regardless. Very weird. Very weird. It's, uh, something that, you know, maybe next time we keep our hands to ourselves, everybody. Yes, absolutely. And for him to just walk up to somebody's car like that, that's just freaking, that's just weird and bizarre. If there was any kind of intent behind the whole thing and not just being weird and I like fist bumping people, like, it would have signs of a target. Like you, it wasn't random. He walked up to you and he, yeah, directly. He made a B line. He was, it's not like he was running, but he, he, he, he, He had an intention. He made a B-line directly to me.

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sort of some type of witchcraft he comes from a country an island and their belief system there's there was some of that when he was a kid that he would tell me about so that's just kind of important to remember I guess I was having more and more sleep paralysis with some really dark feeling dreams and they felt like more than dreams at this point he had moved out the significant other at the time moved out but all of his things were like most of his things were there um and in these the sleep paralysis episodes uh where where i literally it was like i was not allowed to wake up or be conscious or move um and if i did manage to lift my head up it was like immediately be sucked back in and It did feel like I was literally being sucked back into sleep or unconsciousness.

And I could feel something close to me. I could feel something like run into the edge, the end of the bed. You know, say if somebody's walking up and they just kind of walk into your bed and you could feel like move. I got that a lot. And my, I'm trying to, I'm trying so hard to wake up. I'm trying so hard to speak, to open my eyes. And it's like I was not allowed to. And so that just kept going on.

And I was just in Missouri. And then finally, he still had a key to my house. One morning I'm, I hear, I wake up halfway and I hear my front door open and close. And I hear someone walking. So I'm assuming it's him. We weren't in like a horrible position to where like, oh, no, he's coming in. Something's going to happen. It was more like we were still sort of together, but we weren't living together.

He hadn't just let himself into the house for a pretty long time. So it was kind of unusual. But it was kind of like, okay, it's him. So I go ahead and I just pretend to be asleep. I hear him walk down the steps because at this time, the bedroom, my bedroom is downstairs in the finished part of the basement because we had kids and they let, they have the bedrooms upstairs. So I hear him walking down the steps and I'm keeping my eyes closed to pretend like I'm asleep and I hear him come into the room and he says something

to the effect of, oh, the place looks good or like what you've done with the place, something like that. And I don't say anything. I hear him walk around the bed to the right side of the bed and I feel him get into the bed tell me tells me I love you and he's like moving around to get comfortable like he's just going to sleep next to me and I'm thinking what the heck whatever so I just turn over to the other like facing the left and go back to sleep and I would keep waking up feeling him moving around like he's getting comfortable or something and I would just go back to sleep, that would happen a few more times. And finally, I, uh, open my eyes and nobody's, he's not there. He was never there. Um, and I get obviously petrified, but I'm not, I'm sucked back into sleep.

I'm not allowed to be conscious. That's the feel, that's like the general feeling I would get. And so I, but I kept feeling him moving around. I would keep waking up a little bit. I would keep waking up a little bit. And then each time I would wake up, it was like, excuse me, I could feel him getting closer to me, closer to me as if he was going to like be right here in my face, like maybe kiss me on the cheek or just like just being in my face. And I can feel him. I can feel the covers moving. I can feel like a person's in the bed with me. But I know now that nobody's there. And I'm trying so hard to scream, get out, stop. Finally, when I'm finally able to do that, and this was four or five, six times where I'm waking up and I'm not, quote, unquote, like, allowed to be awake.

Finally, I'm able to kind of squeak out, stop or get away, something like that. In my mind, I was yelling. I have to get, plug this charger in. in my mind I was yelling but all that would come out was like a squeak and as soon as I got that out it stopped and then I kept it felt like it was gone and then finally after a few more times I was able to wake up and I'm just crying I'm so terrified I call my friend she lives right next door to me and her dad happens to be a shaman and a Native American shaman.

Now this man, he's just an everyday guy, funny guy, you know, have some beers, crack some jokes, cusses. So it's like a normal dude, but he's a shaman, an actual shaman, because since he was six years old, he was able to see spirits and feel spirits. and he got trained to be a shaman. And I'm not sure the details on that. But I told my friend about it and I'm like, I don't know what to do.

I am completely losing it. I am just crying. She calls her parents over. I go next door. Now, we live in the same building. We have townhomes. So we share a wall. And around this time, I forgot to add, when all these things were going, the dreams were

going on. We are both, her and I are both hearing loud bangs against the wall that we share. Just loud bangs. The middle of the night, scratching. She's asking, she's asking me if what, you know, is, is it me doing that? I'm asking her if it's her. Neither of us are doing anything. We're both hearing all this. So her parents, I go over next door and her parents are there and I'm just, ball like I am just broken. I'm broken into pieces and I'm sobbing and I'm I'm I'm just pleading for him to help me. And he says, where is my ex? Where is he from?

And I told him the island. It's a very, very small island in Asia. And he asked me specifically because he felt like it was coming from him. And he asked if, you know, if I knew that they, that in his family or with him specifically, if there was any, if they did any type of anything with the occult or witchcraft or anything like that. And I said, well, he did, used to tell me stories about his family. There were, there were apparently witches in the family, which sounds nutty, but they took it really seriously. Back then especially. And it's a small island.

It's not like they're living in a big city. And apparently the island itself is extremely haunted, very old. And things happened to him as a child. And he would joke around that he would, that he had put a spell on me. It's getting a little more crazy. He used to joke to me that he whispered a spell in my ear to fall in love. But then I would laugh it off. Like, aha, yeah, whatever.

And so anyways, my friend's stepdad is like, this is coming from him. Whether he's doing it consciously, whether something's attached to him, but either way, it's coming from him and it's trying to get to you and it's attached to you. So I am just completely in pieces because I felt like that already. It was so oppressive. So he comes over and he had brought everything he needed. He was going to help me do a cleansing. he brought this this feather from a redtail hawk. He brought this sage.

He burned sage. He showed me how to start from the basement all the way to the top. He went through each floor in very specific directions. He told me to say specific things. I had to do it myself because it had to come from me. And he taught me how to claim my space and to order it to leave and go back to where it came from. He specifically said, tell it to go back where it came from instead of just saying, go away, because then it could just go anywhere, I guess. He then brought me around to all the

the front and the back door, the entrances to the home, and he showed me how to pour salt from the ground over the porch, over the doorway, back to the other side on the ground. when we got upstairs to my kids room, my two children, this man is pretty strong. He's average height, pretty muscular, solid guy, you know. But when we got upstairs to my daughter's room, he stepped in and he, I was behind him, and he sort of did, I don't know. like, I can't think of the word, like something shoved him.

And I said, well, what was that? Why did you do that? And he said, because it didn't want me in here. And it's mad at me. And I said, well, that's interesting because one thing my ex would always say, no matter what happens if we break up, and we had a really volatile relationship. We break up. You are not, I have to see the kids still.

I have to see the girls. So I felt that that was connected to that. Once we went through the entire house, everything felt so much better. When he was using the sage, you know, you burn the sage and you use the smoke to sort of cleanse everything, I guess. And since most of my access things were still there, he's like, you got to get this all out. You got to get all of this out. It's attached to all of it.

The sage kept going out around his, like it didn't want to burn. Like just all kinds of things. Well, fast forward, maybe a week later, I let the X come back in. Well, we're on the phone, I guess. So let him come back into my life, so to speak. and he talks me into letting him come over. And I said, go ahead and just go to the back because we use that entrance a lot. And he said that as soon as he tried to step foot in, it felt like something with two hands shoved him back out the door.

So, of course, I attribute that to cleansing the place. So I had some more bad dreams. I pretty much didn't have any good dreams until after we split completely in June. And since then, I've never felt, I haven't felt this free since before we were together. And I'm absolutely convinced that he definitely had a hold over me, regardless or not. Yeah, there was an unhealthy hold over me. with or without paranormal experiences. But there was definitely something else that was holding me,

like just linking me to him. And now that that's over, I have nothing, but pretty much good dreams all the time now. I don't feel oppressed. And I think that's about it. I felt like that was really long. No, no, it's fine.

It's fine. And, you know, I'm glad you shared it. why do you think that happened to him when he was coming in like something was pushing him to from not coming in after it was sage so do you think there was multiple things going on in the house that you know maybe there was you know one entity or something that was for you and one was against you or something or what i mean like what was what was it in your mind that was defending you now after you've been like I can't imagine I I I make yeah I don't know like I

I can't imagine whatever was bothering you then decide to change and buy right right now see I feel um right away I knew it was since I had cleansed the house I felt like um what the good energy around me wasn't going to let him because whatever was attached to me I do agree came from him. So since we banished basically innocent banished that, the bad stuff out, when he physically tried to come in, it was like whatever good energy we brought in by pushing the bad out, I think it was trying not to let it back in. I got you.

So this initial experience you had where, you know, you thought. he was coming down the stairs and, you know, kind of out of character from what it sounded like. I mean, why is he like? Yeah, that was very, that wouldn't have made any sense. So you, at one point, look, and there was nobody there. When you did that action of looking to see if anybody was there, was that in a direct immediate response to him saying or doing something? Or did you just happen to look over at that point and see that there was nobody there? I just was finally able to open my eyes. Because before, see, I keep hearing things.

I'm going to keep one earbud out. What'd you hear? I don't know because I have both earbuds in. I just would hear like wrestling, a wrestling sound. Okay. So. Okay. But what was I saying?

Oh, I'm sorry. Where was I? No, we were talking about how you roll. over and saw he wasn't there. Oh, right. There were multiple times I was trying to wake up and open my eyes, but I physically couldn't and I kept feeling like I was being sucked back into sleep. And finally, when I was able to open my eyes and I saw he wasn't there, it was just,

that was the scariest thing that to ever happen to me in my entire life. I don't wish it on anyone, nobody. So, all right. I mean, you, what you described, I mean, honestly, the way you were telling the story, I was waiting for you to say, and then, you know, it assaulted me sexually or something because, like, that's the environment that you were painting. And I, and I'm not saying that you should have told me that or anything. I'm just saying, like, I've heard stories like that. And I started feeling like, is this where this is going? And thankfully it didn't. But do you think that, there was that potential. Did you ever feel something that could happen? Absolutely. I don't feel like it was about to happen, but I feel that if had I not realized he wasn't actually there and had I not fought so hard that it would have just kept getting closer and closer to me until it was actually doing something physical to me. Because as soon the closer it felt like it was getting to my face is when I started really panicking and just

fighting internally, even though physically I couldn't move. I couldn't speak. I couldn't open my eyes. But that's when I knew I had to start just fighting. At that point, did you know that it wasn't him? Right. Yes. Okay. Yeah. Okay. And I just kept trying to say stop. And finally, I was able to kind of squeak it out and that was it. And then it stopped. And it stopped. Okay. Wow.

A few times after the cleansing, I would feel most of the time everything was fine, but there would be some times where I would start to feel the sleep paralysis again. And like something was walking, like something was in the room and walking towards me, but would stop just at the foot of the bed and kind of bumped into it. and I would just yell out, stop, go back to where he came from in the name of Jesus Christ. I keep a rosary by my bed, a Bible.

My friend's dad gave me these stones to put on either side of the bed. I don't know how to describe it. He said, one's male, one's female, they're protective. I can't remember exactly what they're, they're just there to protect me. Somehow I can't remember his exact words. Those to this day are still there. I mean, because this was more than that. than a few years ago. I would say four years ago, three to four years ago. So yeah, and there was a

point where I actually made, I poured salt around my bed. I got that desperate. I thought, well, if it's going to come into this room, at least it won't pass this salt. Yeah, I was in a desperate place. It was very, it was just the scariest time in my life. And I just thank God every day that it's over. He got me through. And it made me, really rely on God more and just pray more and be more thankful. And I don't claim a religion. I believe religion itself is manmade. But I definitely believe in God and Jesus. And I count on him to protect me for sure. So even I would recommend, even if you're not a believer, to always pray to Jesus in Jesus' name. That works. Your story is the same as many. Your story is the same as many in that sense.

Let me ask you this. With this relationship that you just got out of and stuff, you made it sound like it just happened like you just got out of it like a year ago or something. Is that the case? No, June. June was finally the time where it was. this past June. Wow.

And ironically, well, not ironic, I don't know why you used to ironically. The last bad night that I had with him, I came home and I just was sobbing and praying to God, please, please help me get out of this and move forward with my life. And the very next day, for whatever reason, the man I'm with now, we were together, when we were 15, 16 years old. And obviously life moves on, your kids and whatever. For whatever reason, he pops in my head. And then I look for him on Facebook.

I hadn't thought of this man in years. And we started talking again and we just instantly connected again. And we've just been, we've been like inseparable ever since. And that's where I'm at right now. That's cool. That's cool. Right. We got ourselves a face.

Facebook stalker dear. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Well, what's funny is he, yeah, I know, right? Yeah, I looked for him on Facebook. I tell you, I don't know how, I don't know how people date these days. Like, I've been with my wife since I'm 18. Uh-uh.

That's horrendous. I wouldn't want any part of it. No, I, if anything changed in my life, I would just be single for us. Stay single. I know, right? Like I got my kids. No, I don't want to go through that. Yeah.

Just keep the kids and, you know, call it a day. I'll be a monk or something. I would have been just fine, staying single. But then we started talking, so it just sort of happened. But no, I wouldn't want to be dating ever. I'll tell you real quick. You know, something you said popped this in my head. So I don't know if it's actually going to make sense because I can't remember what you said.

But maybe it's just complete rambling at this. point. But I had a dream not too long ago. And like I've said on the show before, I've been recently putting a lot more weight into dreams. And I always have dreams that I remember, they're always bad dreams. And I just have this feeling that this dream is going to actually happen. I still, I can't shake it. And I have, I have this dream where I'm sitting here in this room doing an interview with somebody and they're talking about, you know, being demonically possessed at one time. And then it changes and their face changes. Oh. And their voice changes. And I, I had this dream. Oh, this is what it was because you were talking about Jesus. It just,

it just happened like two weeks ago. And it's, it scared me so bad. Lin, I'll, I'll, I, I wake up with Lindsay shaking me hard. Oh, man. I woke up yelling, in the name of Jesus Christ, I rebuke you. And in my mind, all I remember is this face transforming on Zoom, voice changing, and they started coming towards me like they were going to come through the screen. Oh, my God. As I'm saying it, I'm reaching for my power button on my computer trying to turn off the computer,

and that's when I wake up. And Lindsay, the next day, Lindsay's like, well, at least you said the right thing. I'm just like, I'm like, right? Yeah, I mean, you did. I would,

I would ask Jesus for extra protection because I feel like in these sort of situations like, you know, what you do for your podcast, you're, you could kind of be, uh, subjecting yourself or,

I don't know, be more open to, to negativity. So it's sort of like saying, some extra prayers, you know, asking for more blessings just to protect yourself because you just don't know. I mean, I talked to my daughter. She has a friend. I have a 20 year old and a 13 year old. So I'm talking to my 13 year old and her friend, this one friend is really into paranormal. Like, oh, I get it. But she wants to do things like the Ouija board and my girls know, like don't do not ever.

And I said, you know, I don't want you to spend too much time with her because since this girl so open to it, who knows what she could be sort of subjected to just by proxy. Yeah, you never know. You never know. Yeah. It's this stuff is, this stuff is a, uh, sometimes you just, you don't know how to, where it's going to go and, and what to expect, you know, uh, with what your experiences were and stuff, especially that last experience you shared. I mean, you're having sleep paralysis and then this has you know sleep prowess but there was also something else going on there so you can't even say this was just your classical scientific sleep paralysis it was definitely paranormal you definitely had an attack going on and the fact that my neighbor

sharing the wall was hearing all these things her sleep was also being disturbed she was having crazy dreams felt like something was by her so with with that too It's just, it seemed pretty evident, you know, that there was definitely something bad going on. And I, my worst enemy, I would never wish that on. No. Well, that's the show, everybody. I really hope you enjoyed it. And if you did enjoy it, please share the show with your friends. I don't care where or how you share the show.

Just share the show if you enjoyed it because that's the best thing you could do to help the show grow is to share the show. And once again, I just want to say thank you to everybody who gave us support as we moved to East Tennessee. It has been a godsend. absolutely love living here. It has been amazing. And I'm looking forward to being buried in my backyard. Seriously, I love it here. So thank you everybody who has been supportive and understanding if there's been any issues over the last month with the show, which there hasn't been many. There's been a couple, but hasn't been many. I thank you very much for the patience and love and support and also the love and support you guys threw at us on YouTube watching the documentary

Expedition Dogman. Over 150,000 views right now. And I'm very grateful for every single one of those. So thank very much, guys. And until next week, stay safe, take care, and remember, the truth will set you free, but first, they'll piss you off. Bye.