The Confessionals - 70: The Dark Mass

Episode Date: May 19, 2018

Sometimes people just can't escape the horrors of life. No matter how far they run or how many things change in life there remains a constant paranormal environment around them. Tonight, Timothy shares paranormal occurrences that have been happening since he was four years old!  Patreon: www.patreon.com/TheConfessionals Website: www.theconfessionalspodcast.com Email: [e-mail] Facebook: www.facebook.com/TheConfessionalsPodcast Twitter: @TConfessionals Tony's Twitter: @tony_merkel Show Intro FREE DOWNLOAD: https://bit.ly/2HxNcw3

came over to me dude he slithered over to me and this giant comes out of the cave and they're all frozen and he starts running and firing at this giant with a giant move he's got a spear in one hand and he's running really fast and spears dan holds him up like this somebody else shoot him in the face shoot him in the face they basically decapitated person when he got about 50s and I blow this It's almost like they're unzippering our reality. They pick their heads through it and they look around and if it looks like the coast is clear, they step through the rest of the direction. If you pick the head, you get the whole package. If you don't take the head off, then what happens is they disappear?

This was all circulating around the base that a giant had been killed with no one was supposed to talk about it. Over to my left, on the far side of the room, and there's Jack. And he's got blood on his face. He looks at me and he just says one word. Oops. I've been killing eachies longer than most people have birds. It's bush and I touch air. Couldn't breathe and I couldn't move because I know I'm seeing a monster.

Welcome to the show, everybody. You're listening to The Confessionals. I am your host, Tony Merkel. Thanks for being here. If you've had an encounter or a story you'd like to share on the show, go ahead and shoot me an email. My email address is The Confessionals Podcast. at gmail.com. That's the confessionals podcast at gmail.com. Or you can go to the website,

the confessionalspodcast.com, hit the connection section, and you can reach me that way as well. Either way it works for me. Just get a hold of me. Now, I want to let everybody know we do iTunes ratings and reviews. Anybody who goes to iTunes and leaves a rating and review, you get a shoutout on the following week's show. So this week's shoutouts is MMA T. T. Kinson, Vogan 4865, T-Dirty 509 ACA-91 Russell 007 Tano Tuff

Lembone 63 The One and Only Dark One, Scott Man 24 Lady Montreal Tristan Pope JPD 6261 and Davy Boy 007

Thanks for going to iTunes and leaving a rating and review It helps out to show a lot for exposure and the growth of this show's future Now, we do Patreon shoutouts as well. If you go to patreon.com forward slash the confessions, that's patreon.com forward slash the confessions. You'll see a bunch of different rewards that we offer for people who sign up to be patrons and help support the show on a monthly basis.

Now, this week's Patreon shoutouts is Nicholas T, Raj K, Valiant, Chuck T, Amy T, and John. So thank you very much for going to patreon.com and signing up to be a patron for the confessionals. If you want to do that, it's patreon.com forward slash the confessionals. Now, I want to let everybody know that we have our monthly patrons-only episode coming up here in two Sundays from now. So two Sundays from now, on May 27, 2018, we're going to have a patrons-only show. It's going to be live where you can call in live to the show to talk to myself and the guest. And we're bringing back Jason from episode 17, touching a Bigfoot. If you go back and listen to that show, you'll hear Jason talk about how,

when he was a kid, he reached his hands into a berry bush and touched an actual bigfoot. And he describes the whole encounter and it's really something to listen to. So I highly encourage you to go back and check it out and then tune in to the patrons-only show to have your opportunity to talk to myself and Jason. And here's some other things that he's experienced throughout his life. Now, let's get into this week's show. We're bringing on Timothy, who's seen a lot of different things throughout his childhood just outside of Chicago, stemming from angel-like entities to demonic-looking things,

coming out of his ceiling while he's laying in his bed to a friend who might have been demonically possessed at his house. And what happened there is pretty crazy. So hang in there with us and we'll get into it right after this. All right. Tonight I have a good guest coming on here. Timothy, how you doing, man? I'm doing well.

How are you? I'm doing well, man. I'm doing well. This is actually the second time that we're doing this interview because the first one that we had some audio problems. and I wanted to get this show out for people. So we're regoing at it and we're going to do it. And it's going to be great.

And I'm excited actually to hear your stories again because it's actually been a while since I heard these stories. And we were just kind of rehashing them a little bit. And it was just bringing back the memories a little bit of what we talked about in the first interview. And I was thinking, oh, yeah, that's right. I remember this. And as he started talking about things like, oh, yeah, that's good.

Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, I'm definitely excited about having you back on here to redo this interview and get things going. So let's just start out with Chicago. And you lived in Chicago and you're a twin. And some things happened in the house with a maid. And I don't want to kind of give your story away. So I'm going to just let you take it away from there. What happened? You know, what was going on? Sure. So he's me from Chicago. I now live in northwest of suburbs of Chicago land. But, yeah, from the south side, and that's okay, everybody that likes the cubs and whatever

you don't have to hate. But, yeah, so we lived in this house. There was a lot of interesting things that happened to house. There was some tragedy. There was a lot of people that came through there. My mother was kind of, we kind of just adopted. Uh, just a lot, a lot of people, um, that weren't even family. We actually did foster care for 21 years.

Um, but before we even got on the foster care system, we, uh, you know, our friends, people, people needed help and you know, they could live with those things like that. So it was just kind of, in the family I grew up in, and even now, like, that's kind of what we tell our, my boy, you know, we're, wherever, everyone's family. And, uh, anyways, so Chicago, uh, and pardon me, actually, and, actually, comes out. I remember my youngest memories.

I got pretty, I have a pretty good memory. I've never gotten drunk, never did drugs, anything like that. I'm pretty healthy guys, so I don't know if that contributes to it or not, but we also had some pretty traumatic events in that house. So my memories are pretty keen on it for the most part.

I'm not always in chronological order, but details are there. So one day, I'm coming up the stairs. It was a two-story bungalow with a basement. Old brownstone, old brick brownstone. And we're on the south side of Chicago. And my twin brother and I kind of had run of the house.

My older siblings were all, I think, in college. My sister, I think, was married with her own kid by this time. We're headed there. My one brother was in the military. and I was just kind of me and my twin and my mom. My dad had passed at this time. He had taken his own life a couple years before this. But I remember one of my earliest memories is kind of going up the stairs.

And he kind of had to do like a 90-degree turn. You went up at a little stairs and you took like a hard left. And then you shot up half a dozen or so. No, but probably like a dozen or so stairs, actually. And on your left-hand side, as you're coming up with like a banister area, almost like a porch. And there was some, I think, some closets on the left, and there was one window. So as you're heading up towards the bedrooms, one of the bedrooms on the right, my mom's bedroom was straight ahead of me. And then this little area, this little landing was on the left.

And there was only one window, and it was kind of shining from behind you over the, were sort of, that area. And it must have been early morning because I believe that window faced east. So the white was coming through it. The dust was kind of kicking up a little bit.

And I looked over because I thought I saw some movement and what I saw was I saw this old maid we had, you know, old Polish maid, we were a Polish family. She's just

just looked like an old bush guy. You know, she had kind of a funky blouse on her skirt, the blouse almost like a one piece. I don't remember she had an apron on or something like that, and she had a broom. And she's just kicking dust out running that landing. She's just sleeping and the sun's kind of coming, coming through her. I don't, I don't believe I remember seeing her feet.

She moved, she was moving. She seemed a little bit transparent. Um, but for the most part, she was, she was fairly, fairly solid. And I think she had a bonnet on, uh, or maybe a do rag. Um, I honestly, at this point, I don't remember entirely, but, you know, she was the most very, so I just thought she's just a maid sweep, you know, like, oh, okay, you know, this is an older lady. She didn't kind of look familiar, but, um, I just thought it was one of my mom's friends or

just some maid we had, uh, you know, just some woman sweeping. We had old people that came over all the time to visit. There's like old people who lived across the street. And like I said, the rest of my siblings and stuff are all older. So my aunts and whatever, they're up there in age two. So I just kind of, I looked at her. She looked at me, kind of smiled, you know, just like a little head knob and a smile and just kind of didn't mind me at all.

I was like, oh, okay, she knows me. You know, I'm just a dumb little kid. There's nothing terrifying about nothing scared about it. went on about my business. When I came back, I don't remember seeing her again. I don't remember it. I was seeing her in the house. I don't remember when she wasn't still doing it when I came back.

I don't know if I went up to get a toy. I don't know if I wanted to play in my room. I honestly don't remember. I don't remember my brother being there. It's just me. So years later, I got to talking to my mom. And we were just talking about, you know, the Chicago house. and I was always intrigued.

I don't remember many years there, you know, so I would ask about Chicago, the time in Chicago, and I said, well, who's that old maid? She was like a poet with a maid we had. You know, she was sleeping in a describer. And my mom's eyes kind of like lit up a little bit, and she was kind of like, well, we did have a maid. We actually did have the woman you described to a T.

She had dark hair. It was kind of a bob cut, or it looked like a bob, because I guess all the front of it kind of coming through her, you know, we were pursuing as a bonnet or whatever. And she's a little heavy set, you know, bumpy. And she's like, yeah, but she's like, but we fired her when we found out you guys were coming because my brother and I were kind of a surprise.

Well, yeah, we were a surprise. but they couldn't afford they couldn't afford us and a housekeeper so so they got rid of her my brother and I were born and you know there's the rest of it but what was interesting

is she was still alive she lived I think just a couple blocks away she would walk to the house to her thing whatever she was still alive and I actually saw her on several occasions in the flesh after this event

but my mom's like yeah yeah she's she's uh she's you know she's still she's live down streetness she said that I start to remember oh oh yeah you know you're right you're right because because the grocery store was I don't know everyone would walk with you had those carts you know the grocery carts yeah the two wheelers that you always of course right and every now and then I would see someone that that in the face looks very much like this this person I saw sweeping and I put two and two and three together after the story. I'm like, oh, yeah, you know, she was like,

and I was like, totally surprised. She wasn't there. She, you never saw her in the house. She never came over. She never was, you know, she never stopped by to sweep or do anything after that because we couldn't afford her. And so that was kind of, that was really interesting. So I don't know what that was.

I don't know if it was, you know, people talked about residual energy. There's, you know, bilocation, which is, usually attributed to like saints and stuff. It was a real interesting event. I remember it very, very well. And there's no way that, there's no way it could have happened because of the circumstances. You know, she wasn't actually there in the flesh. And it wasn't until years later that when I talked to my mom that we put things together.

and I came to the understanding that she never, she wasn't in that house while we were born. So it was a little weird, you know, a little weird thing, but I remember that to stay. Never asked my brother about it. I don't know if you ever saw her or anything like that. My twin, that is. I can't remember the lady's name.

I think I saw her maybe twice, or someone that resembled her that I assume as her. After that event, it wasn't prior to that. It was after and I was like, you know, just before I moved or something. but my mom really had to go, like, you know, she was this, you know, she lived there. That's pretty interesting. Yeah, it's absolutely interesting.

And like you said earlier stuff, I mean, who knows what this is? I mean, is it residual energy? You know, one part of me is like, you know, can residual energy happen when the person is still alive? You know, I don't know. But, you know, I've heard of these types of stories and stuff. In fact, I was talking to the show's artist Alika. He lives in Hawaii, and he listens to the shows before their broadcast. And that's how he does the show art.

He listens to the interviews and he expresses, you know, what he hears through his art. And he was listening to the audio that I sent him initially before we realized the audio wasn't going to work. And he heard that. And he started talking to me about some experiences that, you know, he's had in Hawaii very similar things where it's like somebody's alive, but they appear somewhere else. And it's like, it's very, it's very odd. And it's just one of those phenomenons in life that, you know, how do you explain that? You know, it is a residual energy or, you know, was she, you know, up to something, you know, did she have the ability to do some kind of

remote viewing or something like that? It's very interesting, very interesting. And, um, experience, especially since the fact that you did see her. You saw her after this initial experience in the house, right? You didn't see her before that. Right. I saw what I presumed what was her based on, you know, what I can remember in my mom's, you know, because I didn't, when I saw this woman, I think I saw her twice, I think I saw her once after her book in a neighbor's window and she kind of like caught us. And, but I remember her fleece, you know, and there was a familiarity to it, you know. And then later on, my mom described her, like, oh, that must have us probably her.

Because she had, she still had that look. It wasn't like that was her working for it. That was just what she wore. And, yeah, we saw her afterwards, but I, you know, I cannot recall seeing her prior to this event. And again, like, there would be no reason for her to be in the house, you know. So I don't know if, it wasn't like. she was a family friend, you know, she was hired, she was hired help. Right.

So I was like, oh, just come over and sweep whenever you all. Like she was doing us, you know, a good deal or something like that. But, yeah, and there's, you know, maybe, I don't know, can a person project, you know, hear about pasture projection or whatever, you know, you know, what if she's in her house or another place and she's doing that in that moment? And for whatever reason, you know, the avails lifted her. There's an eventual barrier. who knows what it is.

And I'm seeing almost her wherever she is, you know, but it's for whatever reason in that dimensional time frame, I'm seeing it from my house, but maybe she's sweeping someplace else. You know, I don't, you know, anyone's guess is as good as, you know, as anyone else's. But I've heard stories, you know, of like preachers and stuff, you know, preaching in two places at the same time.

Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've heard, I think it was in Africa. One guy said that he was teaching in a church, and he also was teaching in another church. Like people remembered him and remembered the sermon. And they said, no, you were here in person. We saw you.

And there was no, I mean, it was like, you know, miles and miles and miles apart with each other. It wasn't like someone, and it was a group of people. But I saw this, you know, my background, I went into the ministry, volunteer ministry, never got paid, never went to seminary, anything like that. But I ended up being a youth pastor, just retired. My wife and I did it for over 10 years and work full-time and everything else in top of it.

But so, you know, we'd have these traveling missionaries come through. So I kind of grew up in the church my whole life off and on. And we heard these stories, you know, some of these were pretty fantastical. I just grew up here, you know, so I just, you know, I believe them, you know, because I didn't know any better, or didn't know what was possible, what was impossible. I mean, I remember a story of a guy, one guy getting a call where he, um, uh, it was like a town five hours away or something. And they said, look, you know, this person's falling ill. They're about to die. You need to get here so you can pray over them. And, uh, this is like way back in like the 80s or something like that. And he goes,

okay, you know, I'll leave now. And it's like a five-hour drive. He steps off his back porch, and he steps onto the steps of that house where that person is having the issue. And somehow, you know, he was transported. And he was able to, you know, pray over them, whatever, and he had to get a right back, you know.

But it was like this. So, I don't know if that stuff's true. I don't know, you know, some guy come to another church telling me stories there to get more, you know, who knows. But I've heard more than a couple of stories. stories like that. Yeah, I mean, we've, we've heard stories like that in the Bible. I mean, uh, teleportation. And so it's, you know, I know not everybody that listens to the show is a Christian or, or believes the Bible. And I'm sure I have plenty of atheists that listen to the show,

uh, which is fine, you know, uh, we all have our own opinions and our own thoughts and stuff. And it's, it's a great platform for us to just kind of talk. Uh, but it's, it's very, that's a very interesting thing, man. It's a very interesting thing. Uh, Wow, that's crazy. That's crazy. So, go ahead. I'm sorry, go ahead. No, no, no. I was just going to figure. The bi-location thing, it's not limited to a Christian worldview. I mean, there's shamanistic people that have reported the same thing.

There's all kinds of, you know, so I don't know if it's a human attribute where I don't necessarily believe that's specifically related or tethered to a particular religious philosophic system. so, you know, just to, you know, appease the rest of your audience. Yeah, yeah, sure, sure. You know, you told me earlier that your mom saw your dad after he passed. You want to kind of go into that? Yeah, man, I'm going to that.

So, like I said, my mom had a pretty tumultuous upbringing and relationship with my father, my biological father. Not a good guy. he had it you know again you know usually bad people are poor individuals have a poor upbringing as well so he had a crap upbringing was an alcoholic at the age of eight his dad used to give him you know would have these card games and give him sips of alcohol from the table just to kind of get him to shut up and leave him alone from his boys and that's how I grew up dealing with stuff his mother made bathtub gin during Prohibition

Nice Yeah, she's hardcore man She was like She's from the old country You know, dude old school I don't know how many, you know How many neighborhood people Went blind from it

But, you know, they told they got through prohibition And so she made money So he kind of grew up around that But it was a very violent, you know, unloving environment He, you know, later on I got involved in the PD

but was not enough with Chicago PD he was a hardened dude and not a good guy from what I understand and at some point I was very young I want to see

I was probably my brother and I were Twitter and I were probably about two two and a half he he took his wife on our front porch

after threatening to who was going to be a murder of suicide as what it was going to be and by the race of God, he couldn't get in the house. We don't know how, I believe there's defined intervention there because the man had, you know, police issued a Cobra, 44 Cobra.

I mean, that thing, at that time was the largest handgun in the world. And he could have easily gotten through our door with just a couple of shots, you know. Right. And he had an arsenal. You know, from one of the time, he had an arsenal in the house. So they actually paid for all the arrangements is, they sold off his arsenal. Has my mom been worked.

So anyways, he ends himself. And the story is, and I asked my mom about this before she died because I was actually teaching a class on demystifying the paranormal in my church. And I said, hey, you know, I remember you telling me this. Can we go over it again? You know, because I want to make sure I got the details and I'm not adding to it. Is this true? And she said, yeah.

So what had happened to, you know, everything goes down, you know, the horrible event. And they take him away. And there's some really interesting kind of things that happened around that whole ordeal, too. Because he was Chicago PD, they kept it quiet very, very well. They actually really helped my mom out. The Chicago PDK. And, you know, there wasn't a lot of press about it at all. Everything was locked down.

And especially, like, at that time, I think it was. was 81. They could do that. You know, these guys, you know, you need a lot of Chappelle, so they left it down and took good care of me and my mom and my family. But he said that this particular officer that actually took the gun as evidence and he was driving with it. He said he was hit with the overwhelming sense to use that gun on himself while he was driving back to the precinct.

Wow. And he told my mom later on, he said, he goes, I've never, ever had a suicidal thought in my life. He goes, it was as if there was something attached to this firearm. And he said it was, it was almost the point where he had to, like, remove himself from the vehicle or he wouldn't be able to stop. It was, like, it was that strong. And it really, it really, it bothered him enough to mention it to my mom. So that was just one of the weird things. But, yeah, a few days later, I'm going to say it was like a few.

few days after the event. Um, she was in her bed, uh, bedroom, same, same down. And he appeared to her. Now, what he, what she said is that he, he was in full, full bodily form, looked like he always did. Uh, she didn't say what he was wearing. She just said it was him. Um, it wasn't like a shadow. It wasn't like a presence. It was him. He popped right in front of her, uh, sad down next door on the end of the bed. And he said, he called her by her name and said, because she said,

what are you doing here? Like she was mad, like I said, tell my mom, wow. So she goes, what are you doing here? And he goes, I have to tell you how sorry I am.

And her response is really interesting because, you know, a lot of people, I think, would say when they've gotten, you know, it's romantic,

that's some sort of closure or whatever. You know, I'm sorry for the way of I need to tell you whatever. And she said, you may not talk to me. You don't belong here anymore. You need to leave. And he left.

There wasn't a fight. There wasn't, you know, nothing, nothing, nothing begging. It was just he was there. He tried, or this thing, you know, mimicking him, I don't know, tried to apologize for, you know, in the years of hell he'd done to her. He was very abusive. I mean, physically, you know, the whole line. And she said, leave.

And then she said, a couple weeks after that, she was, we had this huge old conversion man, you know, like totally, you know, pimped off in the 70s, two-tone green, it was pretty rashously. And she was driving somewhere in it. And she said that she felt his presence in like the pilot seat behind her. Um, and she, she couldn't see him from what I remember. I don't think she saw, maybe she saw eyes in the mirror or else she refused to look. I don't remember that that portion, but she said, and it was the same thing she heard him say to her and I don't know if it was in her head or actual audibly.

Uh, I'm sorry. You know, I'm sorry. And again, she said, this isn't your home anymore. You don't belong here. You may never visit me again. Because she basically rebuked this thing. And she said it was gone instantly. And that was the last time that ever happened or an event like that happened to her.

Regarding my, you know, presumably, you know, the spirit or the presence of my father. Wow. That was, yeah. And she confirmed that, you know, I think I asked, I need, you know, I have a lot of specifics. I want to make sure I'm not, you know, I'm not adding to this or, you know, to try to prove a point when I'm talking to people. But she was very adamant about us. Okay. Did you see him?

You did you not see him. She was like the first time I saw him the second time. It was his presence. And she said like it seemed up like him. It sounded like him. She said he had a very distinct presence. My father, I guess he had a very distinct gate like when he walked on the first time. She's like, you know, it was him.

Like she was as if he would, he had never, um, left the home physically. She's like, it was just him. He was there and then sat down next year and I believe he said that she said that the, you know, the bed went down. and everything kind of turned to her. And I don't think she made a lot of contact. Like, she knew it was him. She saw him.

And it wasn't like she looked along and leaned to his eyes or anything. It was just not my mom. My mom was a very big advocate of tough love. And she was not super affectionate until her latter years. But, yeah, that was, that's the story with the visitations. Yeah, that, I mean, that's interesting because, like, you know, to be honest with you, when I first started this show almost a year and a half ago, I had a totally different viewpoint when it comes to ghosts and things like that.

One, I didn't really have much of a viewpoint. I didn't know what to make of it. I knew people were experiencing things. And I knew what I thought my whole life generically, but something about my original thought process is growing up and stuff, just didn't jive with me anymore. And as time goes on, you know, I think if you're,

if you're really open to thinking outside the box and staying true to open thought, your thought process changes, your thought process changes over time. And, you know, some things don't ever change.

Like, for instance, I'll never denounce Jesus Christ. I mean, I'm a Christian and it's that real to me. you'll, you'll, it's just, it's not going to happen. I mean, I, let's just say, I can't say it's not going to happen because Peter said it wasn't going to happen and it happened. So let's just say, like, 99% sure, I'm not going to do that, you know? So, but, uh, there, there are, there are things outside the root basis of my faith that I'm very much willing to discuss and I'm

very much willing to have open thought on. And when it comes to this stuff, that's one of them, uh, you know, And just put it out there like this. You know, I grew up in a Christian household and I didn't know what ghosts were. I was fascinated by the idea. And I knew people said they saw, you know, their Uncle Joe and things like that. But my natural default thought process was that's impossible because when you die, you either go to heaven or you go to hell. You don't sit around here on earth. but then you know silly Christian you you you open up the Bible and you start reading it and you start

listening to people teach about things and then all of a sudden stories that have been right in front of your face your entire life start taking a different light and I've mentioned it on the show before but like it's a very real story in second Samuel chapter 28 King Saul summons the spirit of Samuel he goes to a median and he tells this person to summon the spirit of Samuel. And she does. And it doesn't say anywhere in there that he talked to a demon. It doesn't say that he talked to anything but Samuel.

And Samuel, the spirit of Samuel, was pissed, very frustrated that he's being bothered by Saul. And I would be too if I'm chilling with Jesus and all of a sudden I'm being summoned by this idiot. You know? So, I mean, when you read that story and you read it for what it's. says and you don't try manipulating the text to be what you wanted to be. You don't try fitting the scripture around what you wanted to be, but you actually read it and you fit your mind around the text. When you start doing that, all of a sudden, you're like, wow, wow, this life is a lot more complicated than I thought. And so, you know, it's just, it's very fascinating because

when you hear stories like what you just shared, I mean, I don't know. I don't know what's happening there. But clearly, your mom had an experience. And I no longer can say that I believe that that's impossible. I don't believe that's not, or how do I say it? I believe that that is possible. I don't know how it's possible. I don't know why it's possible, but I do believe that that is possible now. And so it's a very fascinating account. Absolutely. Yeah. I don't, you know, I've heard, You know, people speculate there's a grace period between, you know, now and the hereafter, you know, I don't know how many days, you know, that, I mean, what does it translate to when you're, you know, is time linear? You know, I mean, how does that work in the spirit around? But, you know, going back, you know, kind of speaking to, you know, I'd grown up in, you know, purely evangelical circle and, you know, everything was a demon that wasn't an angel. Exactly. Right. And, like, you know, there are no disembodied, you know, human spirits wandering the earth and blah, blah, blah. And I think some of the reasoning behind that, you know, I think people come up with, I think it's silly.

You know, like, oh, well, they have, you know, some unfinished business where you show me a person that finishes everything in their life. You know, like everyone's got unfinished business, but the whole world's not full of ghosts. You know, so it's, but when you start reading accounts, like you said in the Bible, you know, it is like there is some form of understanding that there's even you know accounts in ancient rabbinic

packs of you know angels, demons, and ghosts you know so so there are three separate categories and even in that account of Samuel being brought to Christian the Bible says you know

when King Saul says to the witch of Indore he says you know what do you see and she goes I see an Elohim. Well, most evangelicals, when they hear the word alheme, they immediately attribute to God because he's Elohim. But really, what Elohim or benign Elohim in the Hebrew, all that is, it's literally talking about an inhabitant or a resident of the spirit realm. That same word is used for angelic, divine beings. That same word is used for our human spirits. That same word is even used for demons later on.

So it's not so much an attribute or a specific person. It's literally just, this is something that belongs in the spirit realm or who's a residency is in the spirit realm. And when you start looking at scripture, like you said, in the actual text, rather than somebody who doesn't want to reckon the idea of a ghost or doesn't fit his particular religious worldview, so he's going to say it's a demon. things make a lot more sense from scripture. And you're no longer limited to one ideology or another per se.

And I think where people get confused is, yeah, this definitely happened to my mother. I have no doubt she related the experience to me exactly as it took place. The issue comes in when you start demanding on what exactly it was, when there's simply no way of knowing. And when you read through the scripture and it says, don't consult with mediums, don't do this, don't do that, it's not necessarily because you're talking to demons. It's because you don't know what you're communicating with.

And neither did this, that person. If these things can show up in any form they want, potentially, if these things know things about us that we don't, like let's say they've just observed us our entire waking life, but we couldn't see them. You know, of course, sort of like Kevin Bacon's, you know, Invisible Man movie, he got real evil real fast when suddenly he couldn't be seen. Well, imagine what an eternal creature could do, you know, who has these attributes.

Well, you know, the danger is we really don't know what we're contacting. And so I don't necessarily know, you know, that it's, you know, all ghosts or demons or whatever. The issue is we don't know. So why play with it? Right. And, you know, that's something that, you know, we don't have to. hit on this, but I will say this, that when I'm very, everybody knows I'm very big into the

giants and the Nephilim and what happened there. And, you know, in these extra canonical books, they do detail certain things that aren't detailed in the Bible, especially the book of Enoch. And, you know, maybe, maybe we were taught how to do this. these things by the fallen angels. And this is, these are things that we were never supposed to know how to do. Not that guy is trying to keep things from us and he is, you know, being selfish, but these are things that he did not want his children to know how to do. Just like any parent, there are certain things you don't want your children doing. They're possible. And if your kid knew how to do it or something or wanted to do it, but you don't want him to do it,

and so you don't teach him that. And I look at it in a very similar way. And so I think that this is something that very well could have been something that we didn't know how to do. It wasn't part of the equation, but then it was taught to us by these fallen angels. And just hitting back real quick, and I don't want to veer off course here. I want to get back to your encounters. But just coming back to the Elohim idea.

you. I will say this, that there is a guy that maybe one day I'll have on the show. I'm not sure. He's highly intelligent. It's probably partly why I haven't had him on the show yet, because I don't think I don't think I'll be able to hold a decent conversation with the guy. He's so smart. Yeah, that's after Michael. Yes, Michael Heiser. And he has a great teaching. Anybody can go to YouTube and just type in Michael Heiser, Psalm 82. Okay, that's all you need to do. Just type in Michael Heiser, Psalm 82. In the very first verse of Psalm 82, it says, God has taken his place in the divine counsel in the midst of the gods.

He holds judgment. And that Psalm is talking about God holding judgment to other gods. And in the Hebrew, it says, Elohim has taken his place in the divine counsel. in the midst of the Elohim, he holds judgment. And Dr. Heiser does a phenomenal job breaking this down. And he breaks it down in a way to show you that we're not talking about polytheism. He's not changing the Bible into polytheism.

But what he is saying is God clearly has a divine hierarchy, an order to things. And he breaks it down and stuff. And it's a phenomenal thing for people to check out if they're interested. You know, there's a plug for Dr. Heiser. I won't even charge for that, buddy, you know, but, you know, I think that's something that if people are interested in this idea of the Elohim and the fact that not every time in the Bible, the word elheme being used, it referring to God exclusively, definitely check out Psalm 82, Dr. Michael Heiser. He is a world-renowned scholar that, you know, he can, he interpret, I think he's speaking. like nine dead languages. I mean, the guy is highly, highly intelligent. He is the guy that people go to for interpreting these scrolls and all that crap. Like he knows his stuff. Not crap. It's not crap. I'm sorry.

But anyways, let's just kind of bring it back. Because I know, if you know who Dr. Michael Heiser is, you and I could probably have a conversation for two hours about the guy and the things that he talks about, you know, but I've learned so much from him. So, yeah, so let's take it back here to, let's actually just take a break right now. When we come back, we'll get into this more in depth. We'll rip back, everybody. Hey, this is Jason from episode 17, touching a big foot, and you're listening to the Confessionals with Tony. You had the experience, or not, you didn't have the experience, your mom had the experience with your dad and all that.

And we covered that. at some point you mentioned to me about an angel of sorts. What happened there? What did you see? A couple years after my dad's passing, my mom kind of rekindles a friendship with an old high school friend. They used to attend the same youth group or church group or something like that in the city. And I don't know how it happened. They hook back up.

things got serious, you know, rather quickly. And next thing I know, I'm standing in a little, you know, in the best three-piece suit, miniature three-piece suit. You know, you could buy for a, you know, a five-year-old in 1984 or whatever, you know, whatever. You know, I remember how old I was. And they were getting married. Like that was just like, whoa, okay.

And we moved to his place in Palatine, and Palatine, Illinois. And he would have been in an old house. I don't know how old the place was. And a real creepy vibe. I didn't like it when we first moved there. And like from the get-go, we started having weird experiences there. But we'd been there a while the custom was to after church on Sundays because my mom was exhausted probably from fighting with us all morning to get us to church and then doing church and then coming back.

She would make us, it was a mandatory nap immediately upon getting home after church. Yeah. You know what I'm talking about. Yeah, we're both parents now, man. Yeah. I hated it. I absolutely hated it. You know, I'm seven, you know, six or seven.

It's the height of the afternoon. And I'm ready to go. And she's like, no, you know, it's time for bed. So my brother and I had to read these twin breath beds in the room. There was a set of stairs in between us. It was like a covered hallway set of stairs. Real weird. almost like going up to like an apartment complex.

And then on the right hand side was my mother's room, you know, my parents' room. And so middle of the day, you know, noon or so she makes us good to sleep. She's already out, you know, she's probably out before she hits her bed. She's sleeping. And I'm wrestling around a little bit, trying to sleep, trying to, you know, be quiet because I know she's going to yell at me if I'm not. and I look over, and I don't know how much time had passed. I don't know if they fell asleep and woke up.

I honestly don't remember, but my brother's out of it. He's sleeping. My stepdad's usually out mowing the lawn, I think, or watching golf or falling asleep in his chair downstairs. And I see this glow, like this really radiant golden glow emanating from, the floor of the hall in between our bedrooms. And it was off. It was weird because it was kind of a long time of day for it. Because, again, my mother's bedroom was facing east.

Our bedroom window was facing west. And it's the middle of a day. You know, there's nothing between. And it was just, there was something about it that caught my attention and it struck me. And I remember a little spooked out like this is, you know, not normal, but I got up anyways. I remember this house was weird to be in with, so I didn't like being in it.

Thank God we didn't spend too much time there. But I'd go over, I kind of, you know, make my way to a room real cautious, like looking at this glow. And her bedroom door, I don't remember if her door was opened or if it was cracked. I don't remember, but as I got closer to the door,

the glow was more significant. And I remember looking at it. her and I could see her. She was turned away. She was like, you know, on her side, sleeping, turned away. I saw her, I turned towards her window. But between her door, right next to her bed, actually, right next to her, on the bed was this tall, glowing, like golden glowing, firmer, you know, the best description. It was like it was a humanoid. It was very tall, it was almost like eight feet tall, not huge, not broad-shouldered thin. And it looked almost like a person wearing a robe that was, it was like living light.

The words are hard to describe it. It glistened, it sparkled, and there was something about it that seemed almost organic, the way it moved, and it was terrifying. I mean, the moment I laid eyes on it, I was done. I mean, it freaked the crap on me. There was such a sense of, like, power radiating off of just the image. It's hard to put into words. And I just remember, like, I saw this thing.

I kind of gave it a look up, look down, saw my mother, it was standing right over, and I just ran back to my room. I jumped in the bed, did the whole pool covers over the head, you know, and I think I just started praying. I think I just started repeating. by the blood Jesus, by the blood of Jesus, because I had no idea what to think of it, what to do. And I don't remember what I did after that. I don't remember if I fell past out, fell asleep, stayed awake until I heard her moving.

I never saw that thing again. But yeah, it was something I'll never forget. it was almost like a living beam of light. It's really hard to explain. There was form to it, but at the same time, it wasn't restrictive. I don't know liquid honey. I don't know how to describe it. It was, I've been the best I can.

But yeah, I saw something like that. That's what I presume was an angelic bee standing over my mother. I don't know if it was ministering to her. I don't know if it was guarding her. I have no idea what it was. But I do believe it was some form of being that was accompanying my mother while she slept. Okay.

So how tall would you say this is again? You know, dude, I was small. I mean, I think I was about seven. I think we lived there until we were seven or eight. and this thing was it was taller than the door frame if I remember correctly because when I looked in to the room

I had to look up to see the top of it so it was very close to the ceiling I don't know if we had nine foot ceilings I don't know if we had nine foot ceilings that it was an old you know an older house probably built in the 30s or something like that.

It wasn't like an old farmhouse or something, but it was, I just remember it being taller than anyone in my family. And it looked like it was Florida ceiling. You know, I didn't see any legs. It was like it was wearing

almost like a form-fitting skirt that went all the way down to the ground. I had like a body condom. I don't know how I'm described it to. Go ahead. No, I was just going to say, I mean, you know, typically when it comes to angels and stuff, a lot of times people describe these things as being very tall. You know, it's not uncommon for me to hear somebody describe it as, you know, 12 foot tall beings.

And, you know, but the thing is, people have to understand that with what we are dealing with on this show, it's all paranormal, supernatural. It's out of the ordinary. And when it comes to these different ideas, people have to understand that if this is a supernatural slash paranormal being, you know, something out of the ordinary like that that has the ability to appear before you, you have to remember that at that moment, then if it has the very ability to appear before you, then it certainly would, I would think, have the ability to appear before you in the size that it wants to appear before you. Absolutely. And so, I mean, I don't think it was restricted either. I think it could have been taller if it wanted to be. You could just saw, you know, the torso and its head and shoulders were through the roof, you know? Yeah, absolutely.

I know I saw a leg, you know. Exactly, exactly. But, I mean, you know, if you saw this thing, and most people, I mean, how old was the house, by the way? I would say the house, you know, I never asked my stepdad. I believe it was 20s or 30s that it was built. Okay. This is just the people familiar with Kalatine, Illinois, and the Inverness area. It was, we were there, it was there before Hockness States, which is a huge, like, suburban area now.

It didn't even exist. It was being built at the time. So it's, it was a massive chunk of land. It was a corner lot, but I bet it was five acres, and that would be unheard of right now. you know, so it had to have been a pretty old home. All right, but I mean, it's not like, you know, ancient home. I mean, if you say 20, 30 years, yeah. Yeah.

I mean, more than likely the ceilings were probably about eight feet to eight and a half feet tall. And so this could have been anywhere between seven and a half to eight feet tall. You know, let's just put it that number. It's clearly a very tall individual. Now, when it comes to the idea of it being an angel, is that something that you just say because you don't know how else to describe it? Or do you think that this, you know, really was an angel? You know, it obviously struck fear in you that you went and had to hide from it. And it's funny because if it is an angel, you know, you're praying to God, God, please take away your angel because it's scaring me. Yeah. Over the years, especially being in ministry, I've encountered many shapes. I've encountered many malevolve into spirits. Some people would call them demonic entities through deliverance sessions or just praying or just even on my own. And this thing, whatever it was, was different. There was a, there was peace about it. There was an absolute peace. Now, in the natural, I was terrified,

but there was a commanding presence about it as if it belonged to there. And it wasn't there to harm her. It was actually slightly, it was, it looked like it was looking down at her a little bit. It wasn't just standing at attention or anything like that. It was, it was, it was, there was a slight curve to what I presume was the shoulders and head. Um, and I, you know, I didn't feel my mother was in danger. I didn't feel we were in danger. It literally just startled me. And there was such a powerful presence to it that I, I, I couldn't, deal with it. Like, I couldn't,

um, uh, it wasn't for terror. It wasn't like there, you know, there's, there's, there's a darkness in certain things that,

that it's almost tangible. It's a dark, tangible presence. But this did not have that. It was, it was, it was, it was if I was looking at a divine being

with some form of authority that had every right to be there. And, But it was, I felt like I didn't. I felt like I stepped into something that was almost sacred. And I had to, you know, and I had to get out of there. And I'm young. I don't understand those things at that time. I don't know about processing measure I hardly do now, you know, for something like that.

So that's the, when I looked back at it, there was, my sense was this was an, this was an angel. and I think what threw me off was it didn't fit any of the depictions I'd ever seen. Any of the old Byzantine photos, you know, or a picture, you know, paintings, renditions. It wasn't some chubby cherub with wings. It wasn't, you know, like it didn't have these massive appendages with a flaming sword. You know, all the little stories I'd heard in the Bible didn't match any of that stuff. But my sense was this is what it was. It was some sort of angelic being, and it was, it was there as some form of an advocate from my mother,

whether just a protector or just my sense of it was it was in some way just ministering to her. I don't know. I don't know what that means. That was the sense I got, but at the same time, its presence and the countenance of it was so powerful. It was terrifying. Well, I mean, I can understand that. I definitely can understand that because you hear of these different kind of experiences that people have and stuff and just being in the presence of, you know, even an angel. Just say it was an angel. That can be a very terrifying experience given the certain circumstances. There's obviously times that it's a very peaceful experience, but it depends on who's on the receiving end of what. I mean, people have heard the stories of my grandfather and when he was in the ministry when he was younger, they, they were under the assumption that people were going to, you know, storm their camp and destroy things.

And so the men stayed up overnight. And these guys show up three, I think it was like three different times. And each time they showed up, they brought more people. But they didn't go any further than the driveway because what they said was there was these like tall 12 foot tall angels standing their guard in the camp. Now, in that moment, these men wouldn't go any further. Why? Because they were terrified. But my grandfather didn't fear feel anything. He didn't even see these things. They never saw them. And there's times that people say they saw angels and it was a very soothing, uh, ministering, like you said, ministering type experience. Uh, but if you're on the other receiving end where, you know, they're there being like, watch it, buddy. You know, like, it can be a terrifying experience. I mean, imagine seeing something 12 feet tall, gigantic. And it's looking at you like, yeah, take one more step. You know, it's like,

uh, no, I'm just, I'm going to go back. I'm going to back out. I'm sorry. Yeah, there's, I mean, there's something to be said to that. And even when you read accounts in Scripture, I mean, people that encounter an angle, some of them would fall down as if they're dead. Some of them, you know, even when Daniel was, you know, fasting, it said that, you know, he encountered this thing. He kind of fell down as a dead man. And the ones that said the people that were with and the servants,

they all just ran for the hills, terrified. So, you know, and they weren't like his enemies. They weren't trying to do anything bad, you know, but they're just like, you know, like, crap was this thing and took off. So I, yeah, man, I can't explain it, you know, but that's, that was my response. Yeah. Well, I'll tell you what, man. It's, it's very interesting.

And I want to keep moving here because there's a little bit more I want to get to. I think, I think we're going to have to bring you back for a patron show because I know you have a lot of, a lot of experiences to share. But I do want you to hit, before we get into the move, you moved to, let's just say, you moved to the farm or whatever it was, you moved to a different area, and there's experiences that you had there. And I'm not sure where this falls in the timeline, but before we move to the farm, unless it's relevant, tell us about this story of this arm that came out of the wall. That is just, wow. So the timeline for that is, okay. Remember I previously said, I hated that.

house. I didn't like being in that stepdad's house. Well, this is the reason the first night we were there. My brother and I, my twin and I, I have older siblings, but they're like way older and they were already in college. Like I said, yada, yada. Yeah. But so we move in. We go up this creepy dark hallway that has no lights. It's a stairway in a hallway that there's no lights up to it. We go in. Our room again is directly through the left and we had two twin beds there. And my stepdad set up for us. That's pretty nice. And it's bedtime. You know, if we moved in, I want to say it was pretty late when we moved in.

Like, it was just kind of like a night and boom, we're there. And my brother and I have no idea that this is our now our home. Like, my parents did it to us all the time. I moved to the farm. Same thing. We just showed up at a farm one day. We never left. So we're in a strange place.

It's weird. And as we're kind of like picking beds, I pick the far bed on the far left because there's a window. and when the second floor was in a great view. And my brother picked the bed that was closest to the wall

that was the wall dividing us from the stairwell. And as we're sitting on the bed and kind of like, I don't know if you're jumping or playing or whatever, we're just kind of getting our stuff, an arm, like a muscular man's arm,

nothing crazy, you know, just like very well built from about the shoulder out comes out of the wall and it it was like it kept its hand bent and I don't remember the hand was open or closed I think it was open

and it was like it kind of like a silly old like a chopping motion like you're going to chop a board like karate style you know yeah well this arm just kind of does like a crescent you know swipe and just makes this swipe

movement on the wall. And we both saw it. We didn't acknowledge it, and it left the mark, like a smear, like a smudge, where the fingers or hand would have been. Almost like, you know, when you see like a tree that rubs against, you know, a building or a metal building, and it kind of rubs the pain.

It was like, it was as if it had just been scrubbing on this thing, and it just left the mark in a while, but it was like a dark, kind of a dirty smudge and as it went down it just kind of vanished I don't remember if it went back in the wall I don't remember any part and we both saw it

we didn't directly it wasn't like directly in our line of sight it was kind of off the side but it wasn't entirely perfeal either and we both saw it I mean it was it was a Caucasian hand our arm forearm and hand and yeah

it's wiped in the wall and then it was gone and this is like the I mean this is like we're up in that room for five minutes and this happens

and so that's up the tone for the entire time we were there and we were like nope like this is and I asked I said did you see that and he said yeah

and we kind of like gathered the courage together and to look at it and there was a smudge now as far as the smudge goes I don't remember being there prior but I honestly wasn't paying attention until that arm did it

sink yeah so I'm not going to say that it's the cause of whatever that mark was but that mark stayed there for I don't remember as painting over it I don't remember as trying to wash it off or nothing it was just like this permanent thing which was kind of a terrifying reminder it wasn't real heavy duty it wasn't like a fresh marker or fresh paint it was it was it was like a smudge like a smear that looked like had been there for a little while. It was kind of dirty and had the motion of the hand not popped in there. I don't know if it would have noticed. I don't know if it would just look like a sting or what to us. But we both saw it. And yeah, so that was the first night in that

house. Wow. So, I mean, who know, maybe there was something, you know, like now I'm thinking about, you know, that what I presume was the angel. Maybe there was something going on there and it was protecting my mother, you know, because where that arm was, you know, her room was right on the other side of that hall. So, you know, I don't know. And I do remember the basement of that home was really freaky. Now, every little kid, you know, scared the basements, but I can, I can, I don't think I ever went into the hole of the basement ever. And the place was freaky. We never went down there. I never saw my stepdad down there. We had two outbuildings that he utilized in a garage, but no one ever went in the basement. And I think it was, yeah, nobody ever went in.

I don't even know where the, my mom had to go in there. I think this was for the laundry course stuff. So we wouldn't go in there. We would not go in there. So yeah, that was what started that whole ordeal. So that's the arm story. Yeah, that's, I mean, that's, that's got to be frightening and terrifying as a kid, you know, seeing that it just kind of, you're right, it sets the tone for the rest of the experience at the house and stuff.

It's just really one of those experiences that would really just scar somebody. I can't imagine, you know, how I'd feel if I saw something like that. Now, when you saw this thing, I mean, how, how, I don't know if massive is the right word, but how big was this? I mean, was this like an abnormally large arm or was it like just like a normal huge arm? or was it like just like a normal human looking size arm that was just real muscular and no it wasn't giant it looked like a regular man's arm you know what like i would say you know if the individual would you know could have been anywhere you know and again you know i'm looking back

years and years um i would say you know five foot 10 to six foot you know just just a normal human it was a man's arm um it looked like a man's arm uh it was it was very it was a very tone it was very muscular. You know, I don't know, you know, 15-inch biceps. Yeah, I know. It was big, dude. It was like a well-built dude's arm. Wow.

It's weird to describe. Yeah, no. I've never seen anything again like it, you know? No, it, yeah, I mean, it is what it is. I mean, you see what you saw. And it's just, it's just, it's just very odd to me. I don't even know what to ask you about it. I mean, it's a freaking arm.

I mean, it's... And it wasn't like an annual event. It wasn't like a nightly routine. Like, we never saw anything like that again. Other than that, you know, and a couple of people, like, it's a weird, you know, like a horse got drunk down the street and caused a fatal accident. Like, there was, you know, stupid stuff like that, but nothing else happened in that house, you know, with that, it was the angel. And as far as I can recall, nothing else. and that never happened again.

So we quickly, you know, got over it. But it was a weird way to start. Yeah, for sure. So why don't we just move into some of the farm stuff? I mean, you've had several different things happen and stuff and just kind of walk us into, you know, what happened. All right. So like I said, I want to say we were 10 or 11.

God, no, and it had been nine. I think we were around 9. We moved to the farm, southeastern. Wisconsin, far northwestern Illinois. My folks didn't like the way things were going where they were at with the schools. They wanted to, my mom, she had, she was just short of her teaching degrees, so she decided to homeschool us, got us up to a 24-acre parcel land, which I later found out was my stepdad's idea, which was really kind of cool because they were the best years of my life.

And he would drive, I would literally drive four hours a day to be, to work just so we could live. Wow. Yeah, I didn't appreciate him for who he really was and what he did for us until years later. I didn't know. I thought it was my mom's idea, but he did it for us. And it was awesome. You know, best way to grow up, huge.

And the farm was well over 100 years old. And we lived, the original, the initial building or home, homestead was very small. They had a picture of it. that was like Surgae 1919 or something like that and it was very tiny

they put these additions on it on the second floor and so they kind of built a house around the house that existed and the moment we got there it was really cool but it was also just just odd

it was a weird area and the more I've looked into this area just there's a lot of high strength there. You know, we weren't far from Bray Road to Godfrey, you know, stopping grounds, the Beast of Bray Road. That whole, like, Kettle Moraine in southeast Wisconsin Corridor, there's a lot of weirdness that happens here.

It's kind of like the Chestnut Ridge of the Midwest. Okay. I guess the best way I describe it, the more I look into it, you know. And the road we've lived on was named down. for the owner, the original farmhouse. And this property had been there forever and then they, they sub-blotted. But it was still a big property. We had 24 acres of woods behind 24 acres of field, which we called the vehicle.

We used it. And, uh, but there was always something about that house. And the people that lived there before us, we think there was something, they were into some stuff and I don't know what, but, but it wasn't very good. Um, and we had, um, um, You know, we saw weird things in the home. There's presence. I would have a, no, I don't know if this is affiliated with the house or it was just

something that was, you know, I don't know, just sent the torment me. In my room, when I, when I finally separated the room, so there was two bedrooms upstairs and then another little landing, uh, to the left of the stairs there where we had a set of bunk beds that we, when my brother and I used to share in the city. And my mom would frequently sleep there on my stuff. stepped at. He was a, he snored like a giant chainsaw. Um, so she would sleep there. And, and to the right of that, so as you're coming up to the right was my room. And then behind the

stairs, um, if you went, went to my, if went to the right and he kept going back to which would be at the front of the house, it was my brother's room. So we both shared a room initially. And then we had foster kids who they would live, you know, and that spare bedroom. that later became my bedroom or when family came by because it was like a sanctuary. We had horses and stuff. Everyone come off in the city and the weekends and just hang out. So my brother and I, we would see things and be a presence. But when I got my room, sorry, when I got my room, we got old enough, we separated.

I got my bed. I don't want to say, you know, early teens or preteen early teens. And again, we didn't have, we had curtains over the doorway. We didn't have doors at that time, the doors later on. There was a small presence that would visit me at night. I never saw it, but I knew it's approximate size, and I knew where it was in my room. And I stayed up late. To this day, I stay up late, but I think I started because I never wanted to go to bed.

And it didn't happen immediately. It wasn't like the right from the get-go like at the other house. Or there's some weird things. It's like gradually over time, this little thing. It would always kind of come from, this little back space. It was kind of like a little office type area. And to the left of that was my closet. And then there was this, it was an addict or a crawl space.

It was crawl space. It would kind of come out from this little office area and just like sit kind of, corner of my bed and it felt like it was just staring at me and it was just this sense of fear and I it wasn't there all the time I knew when it would show up it was actually like a presence and I suffer from sweet paralysis

and all kinds of stuff around a kid and I don't know if there's something that before it I don't know if I did something to open the door to have that happened in my life I really don't know I wasn't a great kid but but so that was one of the things um

we had several there was several UFO-type deals that happened in the farm. One time I was out, I told you there was this noise. I think my brother was at some friends else. My step-downs at work. My mom's outside kind of gardening just in the yard. She's just doing planters. The house is on a hill.

And the hill went down, I want to say, about 50 feet. And then it went to like this circular driveway. there's a big barn, you know, and it went back up, but you went down, it was a downhill thing. And so the porch was up pretty high. It was small, it was high. And so I heard this noise that sounded like, like a jet engine, like a 747 engine hovering over the house. And it came, it sounded like it came from far away, and it was like descending, and it was going to hit us. and so it got to the point where I was feeling like the vibration from it. It's super loud.

It's overwhelming. But I'm convinced that an airplane is going to hit the house. So I run outside onto the porch and kind of start looking, you know, kind of get toward the end of the porch and start looking up. And it's, I believe it was like an early summer day, June, July, I'm not sure. clear skies, maybe a few clouds, nothing. There's nothing there. And by the time I'm outside, I mean, the decibels are so loud. I'm convinced this thing is right on top of me.

I'm looking around, but there's nothing. I can't see anything. And my mom is down, you know, around these rocks, prancing and plowers. And I'm yelling at her because I can't hear myself over the sound, you know, the noise of this thing, this engine. And so I started yelling. I'm like, what is, what is? What is?

And she responded to me. She was mad. She was like I was bothered her. Like, why are you yelling? She started yelling back. But I can't hear what she's saying over this thing. So as I start to like, and I'm pulling it up in the sky and I'm looking at her and I'm looking up because I'm trying to see where this thing is coming from and when it's going to hit. And I don't remember.

I think it faded away. It was almost like someone turned me and off. and it just went, but it was still like, you know, present. It was still like there. But then it just went away. And I'm still yelling. And my mom is, now she's mad. She's pissed.

What are you screaming about? What are you freaking out about? Knock it off. And I'm like, you know, did you hear that? Did you hear that? She's like, what are you talking about? I said, what is, I said, where is that engine? Where's that jet engine?

Is there a jet? I didn't know if it landed in the field. I'm looking in the fields. You know, maybe it landed behind the bar. I'm looking for smoke. I'm looking for anything to give me an indication of where this plane hit. And it freaked me out because I didn't hear an impact. And she's mad.

So she just starts there. And she's going inside. There's nothing. What's wrong with you? You know, she just kind of goes with that to what she's doing. My ears, you know, are, they're almost raining from this thing. My heart has going bananas. And it's gone.

There's nothing. There's no sign of it. The animals weren't cowering. There was no. There was nothing. There was no indication other than what I heard and felt what had happened. And it was out of all the things that happened to me on that farm, that's the most, one of the most troubling things and unsettling things

because I, to this day, still have no explanation for it. Now, I've done research. There's Explosion Head Syndrome, which usually happens when you're about to fall asleep or you're, you know, but for that, I don't only heard one other account of something like that happening from another podcaster. And when he talked about it, and he was around the same age as me. And incidentally, he's from the Midwest,

so I don't know where he was when this happened to him. But he's actually from, like, the Chicagoland area. He's the only one that's ever said that's talked about something like this that I can recall. But yeah, that was weird. So that was one of the events. You're just one of many, many, just strange.

odd, nonsensical things that happened in that area. And there was talk, we had an old guy, farmer Nelson. He owned a huge cattle property with like hundreds and hundreds of acres. And he was like 97 years old, we invited more for dinner and time. Really cool old guy. He had the downlow on everything in that area.

Because he'd been there for almost a century. And he told us that there was, Indian burial mountains all over that area. That it was Indian land. And he said that, and this is going to sound so cliche, but he said one day, a bunch of people from a museum, he didn't say it was this in the 20 years ago. A bunch of people from a museum, he said, came,

and they dug up the graves and they left. A bunch of, he said, he called them white people. I said a bunch of white people came and did this. So, I mean, it's cliche. as that sounds said like that, like that was from the horse's mouth. And this, this is the early 90s. This predates anything on the internet, any, any stories, you know, that were going around, you know, that's like, you know, common fare nowadays. And like, this guy literally, like, whips that out and tells us over dinner, you know, and it's like random people were asking about

history there. It was weird, dude, you know? So I don't know if there's anything to that. I don't know, you know, if there's some weird sacred land thing. I don't know, but that area is pretty weird. And I think it's Bigfoot Indian land because we actually lived, technically we lived in what was called the village of Bigfoot, which really was in a village. And it was Bigfoot, Illinois. And there was Bigfoot High School, which was right across the border in Walworth, Wisconsin.

We literally lived almost right on State Line Road. I could spit on Wisconsin from where I live. it. And yeah, so that was that area. So I don't know if it was, you know, the Bigfoot Indian tribe or whatever. I'm grasped at straws now, just trying to think about it. Sure. But, yeah, it was weird.

And we had several experiences that were unusual things following my brother home. There was a old farm across the street that's probably as old as ours, and we would see things walking. like paralleling us at night because we we had no curfew. It was awesome. I would go and walks like 11 o'clock at night because it's your seven miles outside a pound. There's nothing happening. And my parents were cool with it. So we just walk, you know, aside from coyotes, you know, coyotes, there was nothing to worry about. And we were always armed like we always had to think of a long knife or sores. We're just goofy kids. But a lot of tall dark object would parallel

you in this old farmhouse was an old dairy farm and it would block out the light in the windows as you walked with it. It wasn't parallax. It was actually something moving with you because sometimes it would be just ahead of you sometimes it would be just behind you.

And I didn't see it all the time but on several occasions I saw it. My brother mentioned seeing the same thing. So it was just a weird area. The whole area wasn't just one, it wasn't just our place, it was the whole, that whole region. All right, well, let's just take a break right now.

When we come back, we will start wrapping up the show with some very interesting stories. This is Wes with Sasquatch Chronicles, and you're listening to The Confessionals with Tony Merkel. With all this stuff that, you know, is going on and everything, that black, actually, you know, I can't remember if it was this interview or the one we just did or we did before. Did you talk about the black mass yet from, that came down from the ceiling? no that you got to talk about that talk go right go into that now because I want you what I want you to do from here because I know there's there's tons of things you guys experienced

what I want you to do from here is I want you to share that story of you know how it appeared before you what what went into that because I know you just you were you know pursuing you know the offensive when this happened and so I want you to go into that and then also share about the girl who manifested on your property, and then we'll wrap things up after those two stories.

But I definitely want you to go into these two stories. Yeah, thanks for real netpack. Okay, so I want to say I was roughly, gosh, man, between 14 and 17, it's a little handy. I want to say I was probably older. I had to have been a little bit older, maybe than I was 16, because I had a bunch of high school.

friends at the time. Now, we were homeschooled. On my freshman year, I decided to go back to school because I was cheating my way through homeschool. And I'm like, wait a, I'm going to graduate soon. I'm going to be an idiot. So I actually paid that. I'm just being honest. I actually paid my weight to go through high school. I was working at the time, whatever. And so I developed these two groups of friends. I had these groups of church friends. I search as a huge part of our life, and I started getting really serious about God. And I'd had some significant experiences in my, in my youth group with my local youth, that were, I would say, spiritual, kind of spiritual awakenings where I was encountering what I believe to be the presence of God, and it was different

than anything else before, because I was actually actively being attentive to it. And then I had all these other friends, and I was kind of a misfit. I wasn't in disbored. I wasn't in a displeasing. I wasn't into, you know, I wasn't super academic. I was in a skateboarding and punk rock. I was in a punk rock band, and, you know, and so I didn't really sit the motif, the conservative Christian motif of my church, but I had a lot of friends, and we had this awesome property. So one day, I don't know how it came, I don't know if my parents came up with it.

I don't know if we came up with it. I thought, I think I did. I think maybe it was even related to a birthday. I said, hey, you know, my dad, maybe it was, maybe it was in my youth leaders that they wanted to do something. But on the alternative, I said, hey, because somehow it ended up where my church friends were going to come and have this big shin dig on our property. It was going to last all night, you know, and the kids would go home afterwards. And it was, you know, bonfire. We, we attached a tobog into our Jeep and pushy bells on it and dragged the kids all around the,

all around the field. It was awesome. And I said, well, here's a good opportunity because for my friends, my secular friends, the kids from school, I didn't go to my church, didn't really know like I was a Christian at all. Maybe I should invite my other friends to, and we could all get together, and it would be this really cool thing, and everyone will see, hey, you know, our Christians don't suck or whatever. I don't know what my thinking was behind it, but I wanted to kind of unify the two lives. that I think it would be like some sort of closure for me psychologically.

And so I decided to have my secular friends come out and with my Christian friends being there, my youth. And there was a lot of kids, you know, like, I don't know, like 15, 15 kids or so, plus a few youth leaders. And so I got the punk rock going. I don't remember my parents being there. It's like they left the place to us and the youth leaders. And we had a great style system. half dogs or whatever the whole nine yards all my Christian friends come out

and then all my secular friends start showing up here and there and I was playing I remember I was playing Brohan by Pennywise because the album just dropped and my youth leaders kind of got you know a little uncomfortable with it with this punk rock

so this band Jars of Clay just released their like their premier album it was like huge and they plugged it in and say, hey, you know, pre-play this. You know, I don't know. They didn't want to lose any Jesus points. So, so they play, I'm playing.

I'm like, this is actually really good. You know, like, this is decent, you know. Like, so I drank it. And for whatever reason, I don't remember where they were. I had this, I'm my really good friend. I'm going to call them Tommy and his girlfriend, Rachel. I don't remember where they were if they were on the campfire or whatever. Rachel, they were very, they were.

very gothic, into the gothic. EDM music, 9-inch nails, you know, Robert Smith and the cure, like that whole era, you know, was booming back then, and they always wore black. Rachel, sorry, had her hair up, you know, like, I don't know how many cans of airsprings she used,

and she was your, you know, she looked just like Winona Ryder from Beetle Juice. It was like that, like, just all black, the hair was up like that. And, um, she she was a very troubled young lady but I love these guys you know they were my friends they were cool you know these are kids I knew in grade school and then all of a sudden you know they have these second you know lives as they get into high school because I'm now going back to public school

and um but she would frequently um act very strange in school I had her in um uh study hall I studied off her first hour. And she would start doing her thing. Her face had contort, and she would, she started jerking her head and whatever. And everybody thought she was flowing her out. Everyone thought she was just trying to be an attention grab or whatever. And there was something about it that always,

I was like, no, something's wrong. Like, there's something happening to her. Because you could see her, the color of her eyes would actually change. and it would get very dark and they would almost get like a very dull dark red not like illuminating red almost like a bloodshot crimson

and mixed with like a lot of dark black and she would start contorting her hands and go up it was almost as if she was having some form of a seizure like a palsy seizure and this would like everyone would be like Oh, shut up.

You know, shut up, Rachel. We'll knock it off. You know, all the jobs and scream out and blah, blah, blah, and they would take her out and go to the nurse, whatever. Or she would just calm down, you know, and she would act like nothing to happen. That's you, you know, whatever. But I was just kind of, you know, but I always didn't sit right with me. There's something dark about it.

Well, anyways, and this happens shortly after we kick on Jarsigley. And she comes in the house. Chris kind of has her in the house. He's like, hey, man, you know, she's doing her thing. And amongst our circle of friends, it was melt. Like, it was well known, you know, that this would happen to her period. She would have fits. She would call it a fit.

She's having an episode. She's having a fit. If there's some, I know how to calm her down. Is there some way I can, I can, I can, it's somewhere I can take her. And, you know, all my personal friends are freaking out. You know, like, I kind of wig down a little bit, but they're all quiet. Everybody else is just like, oh, yeah, that's, oh, it's Rachel. Sorry.

And, and so I said, yeah, yeah, yeah, you know, take your, take your upstairs in my room. There's a mattress on the floor. I had my bed, and for whatever reason, I had a match to the floor. I had a friend's man on the night. You know, take her up there and go whatever you're going to get to calm or down. Oh, thanks, man. You'll sleep upstairs. I think at this time I had a door on.

So they're up there. And the room is literally, like half of my room is right above the area where we were at, the living room. And then the rest of it is over my stepdad's room. so that's kind of how to divide was like half and half so and there's a lot of us there I think we are all there because people came in because they were concerned about her from the outside and I just got this gut feeling like like are you are you just going to let this happen like don't just let like you can help here and it was it was very surreal it's very weird but it was like this urgency like you have authority like you need to pray for your friend

who cares what it looks like to everybody else. And this, like, this, something rose up in me, and I'm like, I just, like, took command of the situation. Because my youth leader's only isn't doing anything. You know, I said, look, I said, we're going to pray for her. And we're going to gather on our circle right under, right under my room, which was that. Let me remember her. And I said, we're going to pray for her. So let's do it right now.

We're all going to grab hands and we're just going to pray that she gets better. you know what I said. It wasn't that inspiring, but, you know, for the age I was. It was a big deal. And I remember all of my secular friends, my youth leaders and my Christian friends, sitting in a large circle that basically filled the room. We all held hands, and we started praying for Rachel. And I'm just like, you know, you know, I plead the blood of Jesus, you know,

because that's what my mom showed me, if you told me if you're ever scared, just plead the blood. I didn't know what it meant. I had no idea, you know. And, you know, I don't even know what the prayer. It was something pitilies, something pitiful. It was just like, you know, Lord, just help, help, you know, if there's any evil thing going on, we say, we leave now. You know, we plead the blood of Jesus. I don't remember.

It wasn't very long, it was short. We just prayed. And I remember the presence of God, what I believe to be the presence of God, the presence of the Holy Spirit, food that will groom. month and that house and that area above and below us. It felt like we were just, it felt like we were just, it felt like we stepped into a cloud. The atmosphere actually got thicker, it was tangible. You could cut with a knife. And in the presence, and just this piece descended.

And everyone reacted to it. They're just like, oh. And we knew we were done praying. and moments later, like moments later, they came downstairs, and Rachel was kind of hanging on Tommy, you know, it was almost like he was lifting her, you know, holding her up, shoulder to shoulder. And he was tall of me, he was about six foot two. She was probably about five foot eight.

And brings her down. She's kind of like, you know, dragging her feet. And she just looks in exhaustion. She looks like she ran a marathon, like when she swam a tri-and-and-and-and-you-law. when she swam a triathlon or something. And, um, but the, the countenance on her face was, she was like a whole other person. It, she was, she was, it was, it was like this, it was like the, the epitome of the word relief was in her face. Um, she just looked, she looked, she looked completely at peace for the first time.

I, I'd never seen her like that. Um, this is. This is a girl who, you know, I heard rumors of her parents locking her and a brother in a room in a closet while they went on vacation. Like, like just horrible things that happened to this young lady. I can't confirm it either, but, you know, I'm getting this from her boyfriend at the time. And I were really good friends. She was troubled. It wasn't good.

And she looked like a whole other person wearing the same skin and clothes. and even Tommy looked different. He just looked like it was as if he knew what he didn't. He didn't know what had happened and what we were doing. It was as if he knew what we had done. And he was just so, it was her attitude. It was weird. And I said, hey, man, you know, how was Rachel?

He's like, oh, man, you know, she's good. Hey, look, guys, thanks for inviting us out. Everything, you know, thank you so much. But I'm going to take her home. She's just exhausted and she needs to sleep. usually after this type of thing, it's really hard for her, you know, but we just want to thank you guys. Thanks so much. And, like, everybody, like, we gave hugs, man.

Like, it was, like, a sense of victory. Like, something, like, we had all taken part on something amazing. And we're seeing, like, the best possible scenario of, you know. It was, like, watching somebody, like, get told, you know, from a river when they were drowned. it was I can't describe and so they leave and everyone kind of gives hugs

and like it starts to fit in you know like and it was like whoa man like like whoa like that was cool like wow like what happened there like my second friends that were sure my attention friends

and leaders were not sure either because they've never seen anything like that that type of thing wasn't really a reality in our church it was a little out of the norm, but at the same time, they couldn't deny it, you know, and they couldn't, like, nobody could, it was really weird, like, in the night, just kind of ended, like, every just kind of close up shop. It was pretty late anyways. It was, like, 10 p.m. or so, I'm just kind of close up shop and went home, you know, and I'm just like, man, this is awesome, you know, thank you, God, and it did something at me. kind of brought a whole new reality into my life. You're like, wait a minute.

Like, maybe there's more to this, maybe there's more to this being a Christian thing. Maybe we can help people, you know, in ways that transcends natural ability. And so that really catapult would be into, like, just a deeper relationship and pursuing things. And I wasn't a constant in my life because I wasn't in the war. and I didn't really get understanding about what had taken place. I just knew something had taken place. So fast forward a few days or a week, and I'm sleeping in my room, and I'm having the worst bouts of sleep paralysis,

nightmares, that sense of foreboding, that thing that would come. It was amplified, like, it was amplified, like, 100-fold. And it would happen every night. And I would wake up and almost forget everything. Forget that anything took place. I would wake up exhausted. I felt like something was wrong, but I couldn't put my finger on it. And I don't remember if it was a week or two weeks later.

I'm coming back from YouTube because our YouTube was a town over. So my mom had to drive us. And I think it was on Thursday nights. Maybe it was Wednesday, but she didn't drive. And it was a long drive. It was, you know, 20, 30 minute. drive from our house. On the way back,

I started to remember like a really bad nightmare that I had. So I start telling my mom, like, yeah, oh, mom, by the way, about a mile from my house. And I said, this has been going on. I forgot about it. And I just remembered.

It was just like it came flooding back. So she goes, you know what? I'm telling her about the nightmares I had. I'm telling her, I had this one real specific, troubling nightmare of I woke up I felt like I woke up in it

and I'm seeing all the smoke coming kind of upstairs like fog and I go downstairs and there's a smoke pouring out of my stepcats who are just just pouring out of it. It's like, you know, thick fog like a rock star, like a rock show fog. But it was smoke. I could smell it.

It was smoke and my stepdad was a smoker heavy smoker, smoking forever. And you could have two or three times in the night to have a chocolate milk and a cigarette. And so as I go in towards this room, there's like all these, I can hear chains. I think I saw chains, you know, kind of leading into his room, like steel iron chains, you know. And there's these things that look like hellhounds. They looked almost exactly like the creatures from the original ghostbuster.

the gatekeeper, those dog things, those hell-hound things. They looked, but they had horns, almost like Rams horns, like Dorset Sheet, you know, that curled around, I think. They were gray in color, they had red eyes, and they were all around my stepdad's bed. My stepdad's sleeping. These chains are over his chest, like over his lungs and everything. And it was like they were wrapped tight and painted into the ground, and these things looked at me. and the sense I got was we have him and we're going to take him

it was really weird that was like we have him in bondage she's ours and it was a terrifying like experience there was I don't know how many of these beasts were around him and they were just like kind of the chains were like almost tightening

and went she into the into the mattress and I wake up and so I'm relating this to my mother and she goes you know what? She goes, that's weird you see that because because your stepdad has been having horrible, horrible nightmares along those same lines. And he never has nightmare.

Like he never talks about any, you know, he was just kind of one of those guys. Didn't talk about much of anything. But he was saying, yeah, I'm having really bad nightmares. Things are really bothering me at night. And so I began to put two and two together for the proximity of my room in my parents' room and what happened. It was like all these lights went on and I was like, oh no,

that happened in my room. What if the reason why she looked so good is because something left her but didn't necessarily leave my room. Right. Or our house. So it was like I was given some insight and I start putting some things together.

I'm like, oh, crap, maybe there's something, something's left. And I think, you know, I wasn't, you know, I was pursuing the Lord, but I was in a lot of bondage, a lot of hidden sins at the time, you know, a young teenager, you know, whatever you want to call it. I was in some bondage. So I think this thing had sort of a legal right to remain. I know, God knows what my brother was doing. Who knows? I don't know. You try to rationalize why is this thing here?

Or why could it stay? And for whatever reason, so I found out later on because I talked to my buddy Tommy. I said, you know, so what do you do to calm her down when she does this? And basically what you do, well, I just lay her on a bed or on the ground. And I literally sit on her like a stradler, almost like an MMA guy, you know, when he's ground and, you know, ground her and, you know, ground her and pounding somebody. I'd hold her arms down. And I sit across, you know, I sit on her waist,

you know, butt to hip until she just calms down. And he's like, I just tell her, you know, it's okay. It's going to be all right. So that would help is his method. So he did that on that mattress that was on the floor of the room. So I start putting two and two together, two and three together. What do you want to say? And I go, okay.

And my mom's like, hey, you know, and I didn't even tell her that part but I just told her what was going on me and she was, well, annoy you're with oil and that was like, I get to say, you know, your windows and your door and whatever and, you know, rebuked his thing in the name that she was there was another phrase, you know, Christian phrase.

I didn't know what it meant. But she's like, you know, she rebuked in the name of Jesus, you know, plead the blood of Jesus over your room and rebuke her. So, okay, you know. And I don't remember she prayed with me beforehand or whatever, but I,

when I got out of the house, there's this sense of a showdown, like just this impending, like I knew before I go to bed that night, something's going to happen. I didn't know what it was. Yeah. But it was like a full boating almost. So I'm up until about 11 or so, and I'm thinking about this nonstop. I'm thinking about the thing that visits me in the presence. I'm thinking, you know what, I'm fed up, we prayed over this girl, stuff happened,

stuff can happen now. You know, I don't have all my theology 100% but, but darn it, you know, God for me, right? So I'm covered myself up and I'm getting that presence, that, that foreboding, you know, again, that thing's there. It was just a little presence and it's tormenting me and I just start thinking about it and I just, you know,

I'm rebuking. I'm like, oh, I rebuking the name of Jesus. I put him in the blood. just put the other, just, you know, just repeating this stuff. I have no idea what I'm saying. You know, I have no faith behind it just saying this stuff. It wasn't like before I prayed. And out of nowhere to my remembrance comes a scripture verse that I don't even remember reading, but it's Philippians 4-8.

And it says, finally brothers, whatsoever is true, whatsoever is honorable, whatsoever is just whatever is. here, whatever's lovely, whatever's commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think or meditate about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, this is Paul speaking to a church, practice these things, and it says, and the God of peace will be with you. That was like downloaded into my being, and I'm like, wait a minute, I've been acting defensively this entire time. I need to go on the offensive.

And I just start praying for my friends. I start praying for everybody I know that doesn't know God. I'm like, Lord, I just pray that you know your love. I just start praying and praying for everyone and everything I can think of, every situation, my own family, myself, everything. I'm just praying for love of God, and revelation of God. And I'm no longer worrying about the evil things. I'm praying against them by praying for others.

And at the end of it, I felt so empowered and so like, I said, in the name of Jesus. And I think it was something like that. Get out of her here and not welcome out of her. So in the most, so I laid out, and I think I was laying down at the time, I put my head back. I got the sheets all into my chest. And I hear this noise. It was like this happiness enters the room out of this encroaching darkness that was kind of on the peripheral. And it just gathers like in this concentrated mass.

I had peace a minute ago. And then this darkness filled my, it started like a look like swirling smoke. Like, like darkness, like a dark cloud. I don't remember when it started small or it was just there. I don't entirely remember. It's filling the ceiling of my room. And so, like, the whole half of my room was this dark swirling, like a storm brooding.

And my lights are off. I don't have any lights on. My lights are off. There's really no light coming in from anywhere. But this thing was so dark. it was visible even in the darkness. And in my roof, the ceiling in my room, it felt like the roof of the house shutters.

Like it felt like it sounded and it felt like it jumped off. It's hinges. Like the roof separated from the frame of the house. And the weirdest thing about it was for a moment, the moment that that happened, I could actually see starlight between my life. wall in my ceiling as if it had separated. So I don't know if, I don't know if it physically happened. I don't know if something happened in my spirit. I don't know if I left my body.

I don't know of it. I just remember this incident specifically happening. I don't remember recall if it was me. If I was in my body, out of my body, I don't know what caused it or how. But so that happens at noise. I see starlight and I'm like, whoa. And all, sudden this dark mass almost like it's as it condensed into a human form and used my roof as a springboard to push towards me and it was as if it was matching or matching my my shape in the bed and I just looked like a dead I felt like a corpse just looked with my arms folded um or no I think I still my arms to my side at that point because I was skateboard and I had weird I had little injuries and my arms would lock up if I didn't. And so I had my arms to the side and my

my legs together. And this thing is over me directly. But it's like spread almost like spread evil. But it's matching it's it's matching my position that it's directly above me. And it's a humanoid shape. Couldn't tell for a male, female, couldn't tell it was just black. It had been mentioned to it. It was as if somebody in one of those black spandex suits. had descended from the ceiling, right? And they're kind of spread eagle over me. And this thing started to descend, but it got to point out,

and there was this building tension as it has happening, and it's forming, and it's coming down. And I'm going to say, a few feet from me, all of a sudden, to the point where I actually turned my head,

I think, to the left, because it says it's coming down, I go, and I'm going, Jesus, because I didn't know what it's to do. I'm scared. And when I said that, it shot down at me so fast that I turned my head because I was expecting an impact. And I clenched up, and then I had to clutch my jaw, and I was like a millimeter from my face and vanished.

I'm like holding my breath. I got my head to the side. I'm like almost cramping from contracting my entire body, bracing for this impact. You know, like, and it was gone. There was nothing. The presence was gone. The wickedness, the evilness, this darkness.

Everything was gone. My ceiling had returned to normal. It was as if nothing had ever happened. I'm just kind of recovering, laying there, still with my head to the side, slowly kind of release, kind of I'm grateful. I'm just like, whoa, whoa.

And that was it. It never came back. That thing that used to visit me in my room never came back. I never felt that presence again. The entire atmosphere in my room was different really from that moment on. I used to suffer from strange irrational fears. That was gone. And it was like a final showdown, and it, I don't know, man, it was like it was pissed.

It was like a bluff charge before it left. And so that's, I think that's how that started because something got left behind, and that's how it ended. Wow. So, yeah, that's, I believe it, I recall. So, and listen, you know, from the recording that I did earlier because I want to know if it matches up because I'm, I'm just interested in myself, you know, like, but that's what I recall. That's, that's the answer. And I did, I was like doing it as I'm telling you because I could, I can almost feel my body, like reliving it. Yeah, no, absolutely.

I mean, it definitely, uh, hearing it, it's, it definitely, uh, hearing it, it, the second time is just as crazy. I can send you our original recording. It's, it's, you know, I can send it to you. It wasn't, it wasn't the best recording audio quality, but you can listen in on it. Yeah, cool. But yeah, no, it's, man, I'll tell you,

that experience is, is heavy, very, very heavy. And to experience that at any age, but particularly a kid, because, you know, as kids, you're dependent on your parents for protection and you have this sense of security when you're at home and mom and dad are home and things like that and to have this attack going on, it can be scary for sure. Did you ever tell your mom what happened? I don't think I did, which is interesting. I never even thought about that until you just asked that right now.

I don't think. I mean, maybe I did years later, but it wasn't like, Mom, you know, I didn't like run down seriously like, you'll never believe what happened to me. You know, like, it was, I don't, I don't think I told anybody for years. It was just like this very transcendent experience of like one reality became even more of a reality. And I kind of had to process it. It was so, I had no reference for it.

You know, I, I don't. don't even think I was like big into horror films or anything like that back then. I didn't know how to process it, but the spiritual world was reality in our lives for as far back as I could remember. So to me, yeah, because I didn't know stuff like that wasn't necessarily normal. I knew that it happened. I didn't, you know, it didn't happen with a great frequency. I couldn't always discern maybe what was something weird or necessarily demonic or spiritual. But I don't remember telling my mom about it at all that I can recall.

I mean, maybe years later, I think I would have to because I could relate a lot of stories about the house or about the farm. Years later, we kind of all got together one by, you know, little by little and started putting things together, and my twin and I and my mother and was like, okay, you know, it wasn't just me. There was a lot. Right. There was a lot of there. Yeah. You know, when I was a kid, I remember distinctly remember seeing like this shadow on the ceiling of my bedroom.

Similar thing like we were talking about earlier, you mentioned about having to take a nap. I remember I was in my room and it was the middle of the day and I was supposed to be sleeping, so I must have been needing to take a nap, so I was young. I remember seeing the shadow on the ceiling. It was like the upper torso in a head. And I just, in my mind, it looked like a figure of, you know, something. But I wasn't, I was like, well, maybe it's, maybe it's a shadow coming from outside. And so that doubt in my mind, I don't think I ever told my parents about that, you know.

because it's just like, oh, well, I just don't know, you know, what that was, and it scared me, but, you know, it might have been just a shadow from outside, and I don't want to say something if I'm not sure, you know? And those are things that run through your head as a kid, you know, you know, even though you're innocent and stuff and your family or people that you rely on for security, you still don't want to sound silly and you don't want to bring up something like that if it's not real, you know? Yeah, absolutely. I don't think, like, you know, it was your typical rebellious teenager, even though I was having, you know, some, you know, maybe, you know, some life-changing, you know, spiritual moments. So my, you know, my parents and I, we argued more than we got along, you know, that's just that age. And so, you know, I don't, you know, I don't think I felt necessarily comfortable relating to her on that level, except for, you know, certain moments.

Because even when I told her in the car, it wasn't like, you know, mom, I need your help. This is happening. You know, it was just like, I just, I literally remembered and just vomited it out. Oh, I could have these nightmares, you know. I wasn't looking for like a resolution from her, you know. I just told her. So, yeah. Wow.

Well, Tim, I appreciate you coming back on here and sharing some of these stories again. But, you know, we'll have to have you come back on to kind of, you know, talk about some of these other experiences. as you had and just kind of, you know, discuss and things like that. So I do look forward to having you back on at some point in the future for a patron show. And just to let people know, Tim, I really do appreciate your patience with me. We originally recorded your episode back in November 2017. And it was a while ago. And it just got lost in the shuffle. And I just I come across it a couple months ago, and I remember messaging you saying, hey, I still want to air your show. I just, you know, it just got lost in the shuffle. And so I'm really glad that we're able to get this out now and stuff.

Even though we had to re-recorded, I'm glad we're getting your story out there because it's definitely one that I really enjoyed hearing. So I appreciate you coming on, man. Absolutely. Yeah, thanks for the opportunity. And yeah, yeah, let's do that, that patron thing. and if anybody struggle with anything like that or whatever, you know, you guys are not alone, people are not alone, and, you know, I don't need to push

a particular religious world view or anything like that, but if there's, you know, if somebody, I'm just kind of opening this up to you, man, you know, like if there's somebody that needs help with stuff or something or has something going on, I need someone to talk to, I'll be more, you know, you know, you'll that them or whatever. I'll trust you to do that.

But, you know, we can arrange a way to get information because a lot of the reason why I do this and why even thought about, you know, agreeing to talk to you because I, you know, I see shows and I hear hundreds and hundreds of podcasts. I've been doing,

you know, I've listened to podcasts for the better part of a decade. And I hear people they don't get the help they need or or are they treated very poorly by people of a faith. You know, they're told, there's something all with you, or you're in some sort of sin,

or you did something to deserve this, or they're straight and rejected, go see a psychiatrist or whatever. So I just putting that out there, that you're loved, I believe that your experiences are real. And I do believe that you can have relief from it. And you're not alone, and not every person who's,

a professor Christian thinks that way. So I don't know. I just felt like saying that. No, it's fine. That's absolutely fine, man. Definitely, if somebody, you know, once again, touch with you, we can arrange that and exchange information for you and for them. But yeah, man, I appreciate coming back on and talking with me.

Thank you, Tony. You'd be blessed. You and your family. We wish you much success, man. All right, man. Take care. All right, take care. Well, that's the show, everybody. I really hope you enjoyed it. And remember, if you've had an encounter or a story, you'd like to share with me on the show, go ahead and shoot me an email. My email address is The Confessionalspodcast at gmail.com. Or go to the website, The Confessionalspodcast.com. Hit the connection section, and you can reach me that way as well. I'll talk to you guys later. Take care. Stay safe. And I'll see you right here next Saturday night at 6 p.m. Eastern Standard Time.

on the confessionals.