The Confessionals - 758: Secrets Inside The Temple

Episode Date: May 20, 2025

Please pray for Tony's wife, Lindsay, as she battles breast cancer. Your prayers make a difference!If you’re able, consider helping the Merkel family with medical expenses by donating to Lindsay’s GoFundMe: https://gofund.me/b8f76890Description:In episode 758: Secrets Inside The Temple, Tony is joined by Heidi Luv from the Unfiltered Podcast, a woman born into the royal bloodlines of Mormonism who spent decades devoted to the faith—until a cascade of truth shattered everything she thought she knew. Raised in Utah’s Mormon stronghold and married in the temple at just 17, Heidi ascended through the ranks of spiritual rituals, secret oaths, and Masonic rites, believing it was all in service to God. But what began as devotion became a deep unease, and when she set out to prove her born-again mother wrong, she stumbled into a world of secrets the Church hoped no one would ever expose.In this episode, Heidi unpacks the disturbing symbols, oaths, and occult echoes within the temple ceremony itself, rituals she once participated in, now revealed through a lens of spiritual warfare and painful hindsight. From secret handshakes and fig-leaf aprons given by Lucifer, to kneeling between mirrors she believes served as portals, Heidi peels back the spiritual deception she once called sacred. But her story isn’t just about uncovering darkness, it’s about deliverance. After losing nearly everything, her health, her family, even her daughter, Heidi found God not in a building, but in the quiet places of suffering and surrender. This is more than an exposé of religious control; it’s a testimony of awakening, courage, and redemption.Become a member for ad-free listening, extra shows, and exclusive access to our social media app: theconfessionalspodcast.com/joinThe Confessionals Social Network App:Apple Store: https://apple.co/3UxhPrhGoogle Play: https://bit.ly/43mk8kZMy New YouTube ChannelMerkel IRL: @merkelIRLMy First Sermon: Unseen BattlesSasquatch and The Missing Man: merkelfilms.comMerkel Media Apparel: merkmerch.comSPONSORSSIMPLISAFE TODAY: simplisafe.com/confessionalsGHOSTBED: GhostBed.com/tonyCONNECT WITH USWebsite: www.theconfessionalspodcast.comEmail: [e-mail] Rise PodcastWebsite | YouTube MAILING ADDRESS:Merkel Media257 N. Calderwood St., #301Alcoa, TN 37701SOCIAL MEDIASubscribe to our YouTube: https://bit.ly/2TlREaIReddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/theconfessionals/Discord: https://discord.gg/KDn4D2uw7hShow Instagram: theconfessionalspodcastTony's Instagram: tonymerkelofficialFacebook: www.facebook.com/TheConfessionalsPodcasTwitter: @TConfessionalsTony's Twitter: @tony_merkelProduced by: @jack_theproducerOUTRO MUSICJoel Thomas - GreyYouTube | Apple Music | Spotify

Hey guys, I just want to come on here and remind you to please continue to pray for my wife, Lindsay, as she battles breast cancer. A little update as to how this whole thing is developing. Last I told you and informed you, she had breast cancer. Well, she still has that. She has a five-inch tumor on her right side. She has a tumor on her left side. She has it under her arm. And we just found out yesterday, at the time of this recording, that she has it in her neck as well. and they are looking to see if it's spread anywhere else in her body. So I just ask that you guys continue to support us in prayer. Offer up prayers daily for my wife. That's why I come on here to remind you.

Do not forget that Lindsay is fighting breast cancer. And please continue to pray for complete healing in Jesus' name. This was all circulating around the base that a giant had to kill, but no one was supposed to talk about it. I saw three long, bony fingers, reach up underneath the door, curl up to grab it, and then disappear. When he came over to me,

dude, he slithered over to me. And this giant comes out of the cave, and they're all frozen. And he starts running and firing up this giant. With a giant moves, he's got a spear in one hand, and he's running really fast, and spears, Dan holds them up like this.

Somebody else. Shoot him in the face. Shoot him in the face. They basically decapitated. Got sparser, got sparser, got sparsum, when he got about... I feel something pulling at my leg. And I look over and there are two small gray entities. I'm getting pulled off the bed.

I reached my hand into this bush and I touch air. Couldn't breathe and I couldn't move because I know I'm seeing a monster. Welcome to the show, everybody. You're listening to The Confessionals podcast. I'm your host, Tony Merkel. Thanks for being here. If you've a crazy wild experience, you want to share with me on the show,

go ahead and shoot me an email. My email address is contact at the confessionalspodcast.com. That's contact at the confessionalspodcast.com or go to the website, the confessionalspodcast.com. Hit the contact section, and you can reach me that way as well. Otherwise, for me,

just get a hold of me. If you want more shows on a weekly basis, we got you covered on our brand new social media app. We have our own social media app. It is exclusive to members only, and that is where we house our membership content. So if you want to get access to a social media network that is custom design for listeners of this show,

go to the confessionalspodcast.com slash join, sign up to become a member, and you'll get access to the extra content exclusively through our social media network. Now, today we have Heidi Love coming on the show to talk about her journey of leaving Mormonism as she shares her personal journey of trauma, awakening, and faith in Christ. So let's get to Heidi Love right now.

All right. Today we have Heidi Love on the show. Heidi, how are you? I am great. Thanks for having me. Hey, I'm glad you're here. And you're going to be talking about some sensitive topics, depending on who is listening, I'd suppose. Years ago, I don't really have a whole lot of people that are former Mormons that have come on the show. The last one that I had, I believe, was episode 214. I called it a former Luciferian Bill Schnoblin. And you might say, well, what does a Luciferian have to do with Mormonism? Well, Bill has some thoughts and ideas and a story that's pretty, I would say, radical. And, you know, that episode got me a lot of heat back in

the day, and I project this one will as well. What that said, today, today I want to introduce you and let you share your life story, a life of Mormonism. You were born into it. it. You come from royal bloodlines when it comes to Mormonism. And this first recording is going to be you sharing your story. How did Heidi get to 2025? And then what we'll do is on another separate day, we're going to record an overtime. And so when people actually hear this, there will be an overtime available to members exclusive. And you're going to have a whole presentation where you're going to actually break things down, bring receipts, and, you know, basically back up your claims. And so this is going to be definitely a two-part conversation. First part is going to be you sharing

your story. And then the second part is you bringing receipts. Sound good? Absolutely. And I'll hopefully be less raspy when I come back. I got a little cold. But, you know, being a Mormon in Utah is almost expected. And that's where I'm from. So. I'm here still under duress, I like to say, because, yeah, my family's here. Like, do you leave your whole family? Like, you know, you don't want to. So, yeah. But, yeah, as far as growing up, my first few years were actually outside of Utah.

And it's a different, it's a completely different Mormon culture and any Mormon that here's the show will be like, yeah, it's true. If you go even just to Idaho, tiny little skip, it's different. there. The Mormonism is still really ingrained, but it's like a different level. But here it's the mecca, the mecca of Mormons, right? And so, and my royal bloodline, like I say royal bloodline as far as Mormons, it's actually royal. Like my family is the House of Orleans, the House of Bourbon, Marie Antoinette. And I started looking at some of this stuff going, why on earth is there so much royalty in the Mormon line. Why would a bunch of people from England that are in chairs to be lords, ladies, whatever they are, want to come here and be poor farmers? What would drive them to do

that in hand carts pushing them across the plains? Because that's my family. So literally it is pioneer heritage. People know that we're kind of all related, right? Because polygamy. It gets weird. But long story short is, is, you know, these lines matter. And I do think it's a little suspect that there's so many people that are just like me that probably have this in their bloodlines. So I didn't find that out until my grandma became a genealogy missionary for the Mormon church. And she started inputting all these things when it was early to family search.org, which is the baby before all of these big. one's 23Me, Ancestry.com. And it's also the show where they can say, we don't own Ancestry.com. What? But all the information you got was from them. Wow. Yes. It gets deep. It goes clear to Nazis, IBM, like all kinds of wild stuff. Like CIA docs to all this. Because one thing I know about Mormonism is, you know, people don't believe the things like

what you said about Bill. Like, oh, this seems insane. like, you know, this is wrong. This is a lie. Well, I don't think he's entirely wrong because I also ended up at the temple, married in the temple. I also did all the things but a mission. And I mean, his story is not, I wouldn't say 100% verifiable, but I would say 80%. So. Interesting. Yeah, people just aren't supposed to talk about it. You know, you swear an oath. You swear a blood oath, by the way, but they've kind of notched that down a little because it freaked people out. Did you swear a blood oath? I did not. I was past that time frame, but I swore an oath. Yeah. They used to swear that

their tongue would be cut out, that their bellies would be cut out, their throat slit, like all kinds of crazy stuff. So what was the oath for? So that part is when you get to the next level, basically, they're, levels of Mormonism. And it's, it's, you know, you're a kid. It's, it's wonderful when you're a kid. I grew up in a pretty wild home. My family was very strange. My grandma was this pioneer heritage, and my grandpa was a gangster from Chicago. So that gets weird. And then they have these wild children, and none of them followed the LDS path. I was with my mom who had a husband that decided it would be really good idea to just thump on us all the time. And it was a pretty drastic situation.

My dad couldn't also take me away from them because he was in prison. So this is like a really brutal upbringing pretty much until I'm 12. And the only consistency that I had in my life was God and my grandma because I'm like, she seems to know what's up. Like she's not going to jail. She's not doing crazy stuff. Like I think we should probably be like her. And being, like her meant being LDS and being active and, you know, not just getting baptized and that's all and you don't go back to church, right? Like I was explaining like Jack Mormons, that's what they call them when you're not going all the time and you drink and do whatever you want because you're not supposed to do any of that. So that's what my parents were Jack Mormons. And that's why I'm named

Heidi Love. Like that's my real middle name. Oh, okay. I know. It's, yeah, they're hippies. Yep. So I was born in the 70s and I got the hippie name. But I did eventually have the court intervene on my behalf. And that's weird in the early 90s. That wasn't done very often. I think they just kind of let people do it they wanted and all of us raised ourselves. But it got to that level. And my grandma took custody. I was award of the court. And I stayed award of the court until I graduated. And I, but I finally had this stable home, right? Like with my grandma.

And she starts really inundating me, like, just like, we got to do it. This is how you do it. This is what you do. These are your ancestor. This is this. She's like all in. And so that's all I knew. I thought God was Mormonism.

Like, period. Like there's, and they don't overly, they do bring up Jesus. But I would say five times out of. 10, you're talking more about Joseph Smith. So the founder of the church. But that's fine. I got married as a child. I was 17. He was 25. It wasn't arranged. We weren't polygamy sect. We were mainstream. And, you know, I just was a dumb kid. I was in love. So that was then. And I went forward from there, I did decide, okay, I want to go through the temple. When you hear about somebody going through the temple, that's like leveling up. You can't just walk in a temple. You can go to any

church, but you can't just walk in a temple. You have to have a recommend. And if you get this recommend, you have to go and answer questions and pay your tithing and all these things that you have to prerequisites to be good enough to do that. And so, yeah, that's part of the tick boxes. Right? So we did that when I was maybe, I think I would just turn 21. And he was a convert. So we had to wait a year because he was Roman Catholic. I think his mom still hates me because he was a Mick. You know, he's Irish. And you don't do that. Yeah. They don't like to convert. So anyway, I did feel bad about that later. But he did all the things with me and we get sealed for time. all eternity. And that's not even biblical, right? Like, what does the Bible say about marriage in heaven? It's not. And so we'll become like the angels, right? Yeah. And so you don't care about any of that. You don't care about the Bible that much either when you're growing up in this. The Book of Mormon is your main staple. I'm not saying they never use it. They use the King James version. However,

if there is a contradiction, like if anyone else brings another book to you and says it's me, you don't believe them even if they're an angel, right? That's in the Bible. But what did Joseph Smith do? He believed an angel that brought him a book. So they have something at the bottom of all of their Bibles called the Joseph Smith's translation for the Bible. And if there's a contradiction, all they're going to tell you is, oh, the Bible's only translated. And as much as it's translated, correctly we believe it otherwise no and so if you ever debate a Mormon that's what you're going to get so they also love to cherry pick it's it's like a situation so they'll back up you know their book with that book unless it doesn't work out and then that's what they'll tell you so

and and it's you know it's actually kind of it's not it's gotten a little better over the years but really honestly growing up here, if you weren't a Mormon or you weren't dating a Mormon or whatever, you're an outcast. I am an outcast here. I'm here, like I mentioned, I'm here as a prisoner sort of like under duress, not really, but my neighbors don't allow my kids to play with them. It's pretty brutal, you know, I would say they know I'm not just not a Mormon, ex-Mormon. like if you're not completely out as an apostate, which I am, then they're okay with you because you can be saved. Even if you're a Jack Mormon, even if you're doing everything wrong, they're still going to give you the time of day because, oh, you just don't know. You haven't had the full knowledge.

That's what they tell everyone. Like, you don't know because you haven't been through the temple. And so they know that I know. I've been through the temple. I'm what you call an apostate. and an apostate means I am, according to them, doomed to go to outer darkness. So how did you become an apostate? Like, what was the path to this discovery? I mean, when you're in these different religions, like, especially being raised up in it, you're, I mean, I assume you don't have any reason to question it, you know, especially since your grandmother was heavily involved and you, you know, were taken in by her, so there had to be an emotional

attachment there. Oh, sure. Like, you even into your adulthood, you became, you got married within the church. Like, what were the, what was the domino effect to get you to kind of like, be like, okay, I think I'm turning my back on this? Sure. So when I was about 33, 34, I got thyroid cancer. I almost died.

and almost dying kind of wakes you up a lot, but it didn't wake me up all the way. I will admit, like, I was oblivious. I wasn't a truther. I wasn't, I was an army. And I only cared about, like, the Kardashians and, like, who wore what best and, like, my new purse and, like, weird stuff. Like, now it seems so dumb. And I'm just like, okay, this is your life. Because the one thing about Mormons that people don't really talk about is they are total one-upers. So you, not only do you have to be the best, you have to be like the best, the brightest. I mean, there's a reason why the CIA recruits from Mormons. And they're half M.K. Ultrad, so it's fine. But you don't know. And that's why it's so important I feel to speak out because so many of them are being used unknowingly. So my mom,

originally, she got out. She never had gone the whole way like I did. She became a born-again Christian, and she became a Stevens minister. And so she started telling me some things. And I was like, okay, you know, this is, this is great, whatever, go to your rock and roll church. Like, it was really, we were rude. Mormons are kind of like that on the deal. I'm not going to lie to you. Like, my grandma was like, oh my gosh, they play an electric guitar though, you know, it's a whole thing. And so my mom kept trying to plant little tiny seeds. And I was like, remember, my mom and my relationship was fairly strained. My grandma was my savior.

She also kind of was a narcissist. So, you know, I didn't even know what that was. I just knew I had to be at her beck and call. And I felt very like an indentured servant basically to her because she gave up a retirement to, you know, take me in. And so when you have that, like you said, there was like this huge attachment. And I, and it was love. It wasn't like she was mean to me or anything until I leave the church. But, um, so she, my mom is planting these seeds. And of course, I'm like, you're crazy, whatever lady. Um, and, and, you know, her track record with me and stuff,

I was just like, okay. And, and my dad wasn't active. And, and so same thing. I'm just, I don't know that my dad, I think he might have got baptized way later in life, but he was never into it. He was just like, I don't know about all that. So he probably wanted to tell me it's a cult, but he didn't. He was very awake. He's like George Carlin. That was like my dad. Gotcha. Yeah, very blunt, kind of raspy and like I sound now probably. Grumpy, like just whatever. And so she planted these seeds and I remember thinking, like, this is stupid. Like, I'm in a her wrong. That's what I'm going to do. Because I love to debate and I lettered in it. So I was like, you know what? I'm going to just show her. I'm going to show her. She doesn't know. So I start researching

because the internet, right? The internet is out at this point. And I'm like, the church tells you, no, no, no, don't research any of it. Doubt your doubts. Don't doubt your faith. This is a real slogan from them. So they tell you don't go on any unapproved websites. Don't read unapproved books. And I did. I started looking into things because I'm like, hmm, she said this and this. That's a lie. And I'm like, oh, that wasn't a lie. And so this kept happening. But I didn't tell her. I just was like inside myself I knew. And I also put it away because then I got sick. And during this whole time, I'm just focused on, I'm focused on not dying, basically. And then I got pregnant. It's super late in life. And it was this like, whoa, because 37. and my oldest was like ready to graduate. She graduated the year I had her. So it was, yeah, it was a lot. And that's not abnormal per se with Utah families because they have so many kids.

But, you know, it was a big life change again. My next one up, like right now, she's 11 and he's going to graduate next year. So that's like the span. And I was still pretty self-focused, just working at. a nurse, I'm a registered nurse, and I kept getting sick over and over and over and over. I know I'm sick today, but I mean like serious problems. And, you know, when you're down and out, the Bible's a good idea to read, and so I would read more. And I was already trying to study the Bible more in its entirety instead of just the Book of Mormon. Like, okay, let's branch off into this. And I started

seeing some of the things my mom said again. And I was like, this is crazy. And I asked my grandma, and that's where it got kind of really uncomfortable. She was like, you need to stop this. You're looking into occult books. And I'm like, well, I mean, I just wanted to see what this was about. And this guy, John D. I don't even know who he is, but that's who it said it came from. So I started looking into stuff. And she's like, you need to put all that away. That's bad. But what about the book of Enoch? No, that's bad. put all this stuff away. So I'm like, secretly, like, you know that little piece of you that's like, what is she doing? Like, why is she being so weird? So I started watching a show because my husband had

left the church. He never went the whole way. And he, but his family is also from the same lines, like not exact, but like the main settlers, right? And they're very, very, I would dare say they're more Mormon than my family, like in their continuation, maybe not the previous. generations. But he was always like, this seems like it's stupid. He was smarter than me. I'm always like, man, you're so lucky you didn't do all the things. And he's like, I was out by 16. Like I could see the writing on the wall. So he was like, you need to look at this, you know? And I'm like, I don't know. Like, I don't know how I feel about that. So he starts showing me these shows. And I'm wearing the temple garments, everything. I'm all the way in.

And he's like, I just think you need to know what you're doing because you're a Freemason. I'm like, what's that? What's a Freemason? And I know people are going to be like, that's a lie. She knows. No, so many Mormons don't even know what that is. So that's a problem. Because, I mean, not to say that they're nefarious, but I think you should at least know what you're doing. I mean, you know, if you have no knowledge, why are you doing a ritual? And so I started. I started. I started. checking into this show that my husband turned me onto called Heart of the Matter with Sean McCraney. And he lays a bunch of stuff out. He's a horrible, oh, he's a bad apostate. He's anti-Mormon propaganda. That's what my grandma wrote when she took my daughter from me in the courts and like took custody of her and said that I was abusing her at this point. And so, yeah, they delivered the thing and it was like, don't contact your daughter. It was her senior year. I missed the whole senior year. And the thing was, and I know you shouldn't do this, but everybody kind of has one kid that you, it's not a favorite per se, but you like really relate to them. And she was my kid like that. And it just, honestly, it almost destroyed me. Like, I was like, why don't you just let me die of the dumb cancer? Like, what the hell? I was kind of mad at God, like, honestly. So then I just didn't do anything. any of this, even though I was seeking and my mom had planted seeds and I had the heart for it,

I just let it go. And when this happens, it causes all this damage between me and my grandma, my whole family that's Mormon, totally, they've never talked to me again, none of them. So I lost everyone. And then it still didn't fully like kick in, even though I was upset and and praying a lot and all those things that I normally did, I just didn't understand, I think, the path that I was on. And I see it so clearly looking back, you know, like, it's so easy. But it was so hard at that time. And my husband's ex-wife, they were going through like a brutal custody battle.

It was just bad. We went through so many things that if I labeled them all out, people would be like, that's crazy. And, you know, it just was what it was. Like, you have to roll with it. But we felt pretty kicked, you know. it was rough. We ended up living with my brother in his basement in a mother-in-law apartment with six kids and two bedrooms. And I mean they're tiny. It's like a stove, like a trailer stove,

like a camp trailer. And it was bad. Yeah. And so, and it was actually the best blessing I ever received because when I moved out and we got our house, my brother died. And so my brother died of an accidental overdose and it changed my life. Because even with my kid being not with me or whatever, like me and my brother, all the abuse we went through as a kid, he was the only one that knew what it was because he was there. And that's hard. You know, you are different when you're trauma bonded. And sorry. I know that now, because I'm a psych nurse now, I changed my career to help people, make my brother, so that I can hopefully make a difference because we missed it. And when that

happened. It just leveled me. And shortly after that, my daughter met a guy and he met us two or three times and decided we were not worthy. And he took her and moved clear across the country, married her, and we've never seen her heard from her again. And so same daughter. Is this the daughter that was taken from you? Yep. And so, well, she didn't get taken because they proved that it was a lie what my grandma was doing. And her boyfriend was a missionary. And they didn't want her around my toxic behavior because I'm listening to this bad, bad stuff about Mormons. And she came back anyways, eventually after about seven months. But the courts threw it out because they threatened to perjure them. And they said, this woman seems to be, like, there's

never been a complaint. Like, all this stuff you're saying, she hits you in the head. every day, but she helped you be prom queen and totally goes and does all this stuff at your school and all the teachers and stuff were like, no, her mom's her best friend. So she came back on her own because they threw out the findings, but the one thing the CPS lady told me was, you might just want to let her, like, let it run its course. She's going to come home. And she said, if you don't, if it's going to be a fight. And if she starts running away, then you're you're going to have to be responsible for that and all this stuff. So I was like, she said, just give it 60 days. And I was like, it was hard to do that, to listen to that, because you've

already been away from this kid 90 days. And I'm like, never been away from her ever. And I was a young mom when I had her. I was only 20. And, you know, me and her were always super tight. And she looks just like me, everything. Like, it's just we were like always together, did everything together. And so I did take the message from the CPS person and let her have a little time. She was back home within four weeks. So it was good. And we were reunited until the time where she met the perfect pilot. And I guess he's perfect in every way.

I never had a hard life and things were just trash. And that is what it is. I tried everything I can. And it just can't be. fixed. And she knew because of all the trauma that we'd gone through before. And then people started dying. So she had left. My brother died. My ex-husband's wife died. My grandma died. My dad died. Like this was like boom, boom, boom. I just felt like, oh my gosh, if one more thing happens, I'm going to be taking a vacation where I work, you know, because this is just too much.

They took my niece. My niece's mom after she went with her mom killed herself. I mean, it was like, it was crazy. I was like, this is demonic. And I was like, okay, well, what can I do against this? Like, how can I fix my life, right? Like, what can I do to help myself? So I started journaling and praying, like, crazy and just like, come on God. Like, you got to, you got to show up because this sucks, you know? and he did. So I did this for a year. Every morning I had coffee with God in the morning. I just journal and read the scriptures. And it would always have this weird little message for the day. And sometimes it wasn't for me. And I would start to get uncomfortable because I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm supposed to tell this to so and so. And, you know, I don't want to. And you're like,

but I'll do anything, God, right? And God's like, here's your message. Like, do this. And you do. And then you're like, oh, that would really help them or whatever. And it's not you. It's just like for them. you're like the telephone or whatever. And so you start living more godly. And then as you do that and you give up like certain things and you make a real relationship with God because not, not with man, not with my bishop, not with this religion that's been pushed on me. None of that. I threw it all away and just I just wanted to know God. That's it. And I, you know, I got, I started getting to this point where I was like, wait, I wonder what happened. Like, when I started thinking, like, what did I do in the temple that could have been affecting my life?

Not these deaths and stuff, because I don't believe that kind of punishment, but like the other chaos, right? And so I had had a few people really talk to me about like, hey, you should go through your house. I started listening to Derek Prince videos. And it's like, go through your house, look for objects. I was shocked at how many things I had kept from the Mormon church, including my temple clothes. So I started doing this huge purge in my life, like, okay, I'm going to do whatever, even stuff that I really loved. Like, my grandma had this jewelry box made out of my grandpa's death flowers from his coffin. And I was like, oh, but I want to keep that.

But I would pray about it. And I'm like, oh, this is probably not a good idea. You know, like certain things like that that you're really attached to or like heirlooms from my family that are from Mormon stuff. like, you know, you want to keep certain things or whatever. And it was like, no, no, you would know, you would know. And or at least I did. And so I get into this and I start studying really, really hard about how can I renounce the things that I did? Well, to renounce anything, you have to understand what you did. And so you can't be sorry for something you don't know. So I was like, well, okay, show me what I did. And again, I'm back at John Dee and

weird things and occult stuff. And I'm like, why is this leading to this? This is so scary. I remember the first time I got a book that was like a little spooky, right? Like these jaundie books or cruelly or whatever and trying to figure this out. And I remember my mom was like, what are you doing? Like she's the Christian, but she's like, this is scary. I don't, I don't like you researching this. I'm like, I know, but I'm really led to this to try and figure this out. And without it, I would have never, ever understood what I had done. And I didn't understand that till probably a full year later. And when this happens, I love podcasts. To give you an example, and especially after when all that chaos was happening, I'm listening to Christian podcasts a lot,

you know, trying to get like uplifted and in a better space. And there's not a ton of not Mormon churches here. And it was kind of my church, you know, it was like, okay, I'm going to try and inundate myself with like God because it was so crappy and help other people. Stop being so self-centered. Like go go do something good for people. That's when I changed my career, like I said, and started helping addicts that are just like my brother was and all these things just to like, you have the opportunity and the availability and the knowledge to help people. So go do it. Like stop being so, don't, not that you can't cry, okay, about things. But stop being so selfish in your own self. And go out from not just you, but your family. Because everybody wants to help their family.

That's easy. Help a stranger. That's a lot different. And so I, I did that. And I started, kept learning. And I started, I started, I started listening to a Christian podcast, and I was like, oh, he's talking about this thing, and I know all about this. And I'd been learning, taking notes because I'm a nerd. And I was like, oh, I'm going to leave him a message. And so I did. And I was like, hey, you should, Josh Monday, you should do a show on this. And he's like, no, you do a show on this. I don't know anything about Mormons. Like, what are you even talking about? And I was like, I am. not do what? I don't go on shows. You're weird. Like, I remember being like super excited because I was like, oh my gosh, he actually answered. Like, whoa. And I was just like, no, I'm, there's no way. And he kept like, your story is good. You should tell it. I mean, what good is it if you just keep it to yourself? And I'd already been exploring that with other avenues. So I was like, gosh, maybe he's right. So I did. And I went on. And we were. were talking about a high school in Utah that was just inundated with like all kinds of weird.

It was weird, dude. Like, I have a whole slide show on that too. And it was just like these beast type pictures and weird. Just very dark. And it's a public school. And I'm like, what are they doing? And so we were talking about that. And then he goes, wait, wait, wait, what about the Mormon stuff?

And I was like, Mormon. Yeah, I'm a Mormon. I was, you know? And he's like, but like, that's cool. Like, you should talk about that. And I'm like, bye, everybody knows. And he's like, no, they don't. You're from Utah.

Maybe they all know there. But nobody knows about this stuff because nobody talks about it. And I'm like, like deep, like in the deep level. And I'm like, oh, okay. And he's like, will you come back again? And I was like, sure. And so four shows later, he was like, maybe you ought to just do a show because people want to hear this.

And I'm like, what? Why would I do a show? I can't even, I don't know how the computer works. Like, I have 150 plus episodes now and I cried for the first probably 10 because I'm old. I'm almost 50. And I didn't know how to upload a show. I didn't know anything. And I kept praying about it. And I was like, God, this is stupid. Like, I know four people, three people don't like me. Who do you want me to talk to? Like, what is this? Like, I went on his show. He has a following. Like, who's going to listen to this? Like, it's dumb. And the more I pushed against it, the more I felt like I should. And I was like, oh my gosh. And I would always come back to me like, he said you'd do anything. And I'm like, oh, my gosh, this is nuts.

So this mom, normie of six kids started spewing information and it's been going like that ever since. But God definitely changed my heart. Like, I lost almost everything. I mean, I lost my family. I lost. my kid, I lost almost my life. Like in between this, I had a spinal surgery go horribly wrong. Like, I got osteomyelitis and had a pick line for three months. Like, no joke, my stuff is like not minor.

And you can get in a pity, like, party or you can say, what is God trying to teach me right now? What is this? Like, what are you doing? Like, help me. And so if you really try and you really listen, like sometimes it's not about you. That was the hardest thing to learn. I was like, I'm supposed to help everybody else. I'm dying. Cool. It was hard.

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So I'm considered an ex-mo, right? X-Mormon. And I do think there is a lot of people that will use that excuse because they're just like I was when I was in, I would have, even my own mom, I was like, you're kind of crazy. Like, I don't believe you, you know? And that is why I started showing with receipts what I'm saying, because I knew my story was just a story. Like, that's my conversion story and that's my Christianity story and that's my, you know, my relationship with God and Jesus Christ is my Savior. I re-baptized myself. I did everything. Like anything you could redo, I did. And that is all wonderful. However, the darkness that I found inadvertently, like, trying to almost prove it wrong, right? Like, I'm trying to hold onto my faith at that point was

so heavy. It was like, what are you going to do with this? And I prayed a lot about this. I don't really want to be the person everybody hates in my neighborhood. Like, I don't really want to do this, you know, because it's already cost me a lot. And my grandma's since passed away, I went to her when she was dying. I swore I wouldn't because she, so much of the court stuff, you know, she kept suing me and suing me, suing me. not just once. It went deep. But I didn't want to be the person that wasn't forgiving. So I went,

when she got sick, I went. When my cousin said she's asking for you, like, clearly, you know, you just do it. So I don't have any hard feelings anymore about that. And my daughter's a Baptist now. So she's not a Mormon either. So I just feel like the Mormon part is like exposing the truth. And here's my thing. I don't care if the Mormons want to do occultic, Masonic ceremonies, and if the OTO members want to run in their circles, great. You do you, but here's the thing. When you lie to people and you tell them, hey, grandma of this many years in the church, you're doing this to save people's souls and it's not true. That's not fair. When you go join the OTO, you know who your master is, right? You know who you're serving. When you go join the army,

you know who you're serving. When you go be a Freemason, even though they might hoodwink you, you know at the end of the day, like pretty much what's going on. It's very available. The Mormons don't do that. And that is not okay. So that is why I try to bring the information forward and I never criticize like a person. Like I don't criticize like my grandma for living the way she did or my whoever aunt, whatever. That's just people stuff. We're all going to make a big mess of our lives all the time. It doesn't matter if you know the most crooked Mormon and they're the highest up in the church. It's his or her choice to do that. That's not the church. But the policies and the things that I bring, the history is the church. And so that's my issue with it.

So with your with your marriage You went through that was it called a temple marriage Yep Yeah What was that ceremony like and what was it about it that that you kind of Because you kind of hinted at the idea that you know Almost as if like you did something Either in the temple or something that was like you had like you had to like almost educate yourself on what you did wrong in the eyes of God

Yes Yes, what was that all about? So when you go through the temple for the first time ever. You go through for yourself and you do a two-hour ritual where you are being anointed and you are being like swearing oath. You're doing all these things. It's a creation story. It's very Masonic. I have pictures on everything. And they're all verifiable. Easy to look up, not in the most obscure places so people can go see for themselves. And I knew at that point, like even being in there, I was like, you know when you feel a good feeling and you know when you feel a bad feeling. And since I had had such a rough childhood, I knew what God was, even as a kid, because I was like, look, I'm desperate here. Like, I need, I need you. And I did feel like God had showed up for me multiple times in my life. So I knew that feeling of the Holy Ghost, right? Like where you're like, okay, you know, this is okay, that you're not alone. And so, When I went in and I didn't get, this is supposed to be the best day of your life. You work for this

since the time you're a baby. Like you literally get up in church as a three and four year old kid and say, I'd like to bear my testimony and I know this church is true. And that is how you start it. And they inundate your brain from like birth literally. And I'm not the only kid that did that. So it's like fully immersed like in everything you do. And so when. when you have that and you're working these steps and you're like I said leveling up when you go to the temple it is one of the high there's one other thing you can do that's higher and it's it's for the elect and we can talk about that too but it is not done regularly so this is the highest it is and you know it's supposed to be happiness joy I didn't feel any of that like you get in there the first thing that used to happen they have changed it is you got naked and you put a poncho on and I go over all all this in the breakdown. And then they do certain things and blessings and like all this stuff give you a new name. You get your garments for underneath your clothing that have Masonic emblems on them. I have photos of that. Like I tried to do this in a way where I was like,

here's the stuff. Don't believe me. Go check it out. You know, this is like all available now. The internet really screwed over the LDS church because it's out there. And for a bunch of people that don't even know what masons are. Like, I didn't even know what the symbols I was wearing were at all. Like, I thought they were sewing darts. This is how naive because of where they're placed, like, in the chest area. And, like, they don't go over, even if they say, no, these are sacred. They don't go over what they mean or where they came from or why you're doing it. It's just what you do. And so, and they won't tell you anything about the temple. And, and they won't tell you anything about the temple. until you're in the temple. And then if you have a question about the temple, it can only be asked in the

temple. But you're busy doing all these rituals, so you never get a chance to ask anybody anything, which is probably by design. And so you do this whole situation. You're doing secret handshakes. You're doing chanting with your hands up around a book, like all this weird stuff. And it feels weird. You're sitting there going, I don't think this is a good thing. Like you're, well, for me anyway. I felt that way. And you want to kind of run. Do they give you the opportunity? Of course they do. They say, if anybody would like to leave now, please leave. And then you look at every single person that's there for you. Your whole entire family is there. Yeah. I didn't, I didn't leave. I wasn't going to leave. Like, no way. So we kneeled over an altar to get married in the temple. You are getting married in a Masonic apron and a white garb outfit like I'll show in the prison.

You have specific things. Everybody wears the same thing. You kneel over an altar and you stare into these mirrors that face each other, right? Creating a portal. Like a portal look, okay, where it goes on forever. And I speculate possibly, maybe a portal, but it looks like one anyway. And you swear that you will be married to this person for time and all eternity. And when you get a new name in the temple, your husband goes through first and he gets his new name and he gives his name to God, pretend God, on the other side of a real curtain. Like this is all really happening. This isn't like a show.

This is like you're sticking your hand through these little holes and you're doing the secret handshakes to get past the angels and sentinels that guard the veil. And if you don't know them, you can't go to heaven. But anyway, so you got to keep going back again and again. And he goes through first and then he calls you through. God doesn't save me. My husband does because I'm a woman. And so that was weird. I always thought that was a little weird. I'm not a big feminist or anything, but I just thought that was strange. I thought it would be the same for everybody, but that's fine. And then, you know, after that, you go through and finish up, you're married supposedly forever, even in the afterlife. And so where you will go

on and make spirit children together and populate, they lie. say this isn't true, you're supposed to have your own planet and become a God. Adam God theory is not something I made up. Joseph Smith and Brigham Young talk about it. So that God once was a man and he became a God. So, and that he was a man like in as far as flesh and like flesh, like God was real flesh with real urges. This is from Brigham Young. And that is how Jesus Christ was made with Mary, does any baby is made, was the quote. Hold on a second. So when you say God was a man that became God,

are you referring to the Godhead that they think of it that way? Or Jesus, are we talking about Jesus? So, no. Okay, so they don't believe in the Trinity. They believe there's God the Father, Jesus Christ is his son, made by copulation with Mary and the Holy Ghost. three separate entities, but their God's name is Elohim. And there's also a heavenly mother. And we all lived in a pre-existence. And we basically chose all of our struggles. We chose our

life. We watched it. All the things that have happened to you here, you did to yourself. And then eventually when your parents like get together, you're like, okay, my turn. And then you you know, jump in, I guess. Because we're one of God's spirit children. Also, Lucifer is Jesus Christ's brother, just so people know. And this is Mormon theology, not real. This is what they say, that he literally was his brother and that, you know, they were up there together and they had an argument about how man should be.

So Lucifer wanted to control us. and make us do everything, whereas Jesus was like, no, let's just give them away. So then Lucifer and him had a fight, and then he got all haughty, just like the war in heaven. And then black people are black because in the war in heaven, they decided that they didn't know who to go to. And they were like, do I go with Lucifer or Jesus? And they were confused. And so they sat on the fence, and Mormons will call old Mormons.

I think new Mormon, young Mormons, have figured out. this doesn't go over well. They will call them fence sitters. And so it was actually illegal for any black person to hold the priesthood until 1978. And that they could only go to the top kingdom as our servant. It gets weird. Oh, I have quotes. And it only changed when everything was being changed, right? Like equal opportunity, Martin Luther King, all the things that started happening. and this ties into Howard Hughes and all kinds of weird stuff. Like I do a full thing on JFK, RFK, all these people that have been inundated with Mormon mafia or Mormon CIA. And it gets weird. But I will tell you that they absolutely believe this. And they also said,

this is a direct quote from Brigham Young, the second prophet, seer and revelator of the church, is better to, if you saw your wife in bed with a black person, better to run them both through with a blade, then let them live. Also, it was a blood atonement sin. So your neck would have to be slit and your blood had to be spilled because there's some sins here on earth that Jesus Christ's blood doesn't untone for. Wow. It gets big. Yeah. And I like to bring receipts only because it sounds insane. And Utah was one of the last to let go of the firing squad. And they did that because of the spilling of blood they could choose.

Wow. Okay, so you're, let's go back to the temple and you're, you're going through this ritual and, uh, you brought up the, the idea of mirrors and that definitely, I mean, mirrors, like mirrors are portals in the, in the essence, and to me, in the very essence of what they are and what they do, um, not in a woo-woo sense, but like, they're a threshold. clearly a threshold is something else. And what we see physically, now we're crossing the woo-woo because now it's like, all right, what we see physically, maybe there's more that's

there other than what we physically see as a reflection. Yes. And so if I picture this correctly, you and your husband were facing opposite directions looking into mirrors, but you could see each other? We, and I have photos of this so that when we do the thing, but we are facing each other, holding hands over an altar, kneeling, and then we are looking into, so looking into the mirror like this, and the mirrors are placed here and here, and the altars in the middle. And only people that are worthy to go to the temple could be at your wedding, just so you know. And then every time after you go through the temple, after your first time, you're doing it for dead people, for necromancy. And I'll explain all of this, but it gets weird. And I absolutely agree with the portal and the mirror.

and it gets weird and I wonder if I often postulate are they attaching things to people at that point. So based on that, do you feel like when you went through the ritual that, did you feel different when you walked out? I mean, did you feel like there was something different as in, you know, maybe something attached to you to, you know, just like maybe confusion? you said that, you know, they had a lot of questions, but, you know, there's family there, too. So, like, what kind of questions did you have after this?

You can't ask your questions to your family. They won't tell you because you have to ask a bishop or somebody in the temple. And that just never happened. Like, the whole time I was a temple Mormon. I never got my questions answered. But I did feel sick. I felt physically, like, fight or flight engaged. Like, I totally wanted to run.

but I just did not want to disappoint my family. And I even asked my grandma, in the middle of the ceremony, when they started chanting, and I'll show it, around a book, I have a demo, it's not the actual. But yes, you can find the actual stuff because a new name Noah, or no name Noah, he went in and recorded it with Google glasses and put it all over the internet. It was quite the situation.

But this is a reenactment that I show. But they start chanting and bringing their arms up and down. and all kinds of wild stuff. Also, the apron we wear in the temple was given to us by Lucifer. In the temple. Oh, yes. Lucifer is all over our story. Did you know this when you went through it?

Oh, it tells you. So not before, but they're like, okay, so the boys are on this side and the girls are on this side. And then they're talking the Adam and Eve story. You used to watch a movie. And too many of the actors left the church, so they don't do a movie now. I guess they do slideshows. But you would watch the movie. And Lucifer was there and he would come on the screen, but sometimes they act this like in real Masonic way, like act it out.

And that's called a live session. They still probably have them. I know it's changed since the 2020, you know, stuff. So whatever. But anyway, Lucifer comes. And then everybody's just holding their apron on their lap. And they say, please rise. And then he's like talking to Adam in the movie.

And he's like, you're naked. God's going to see what you did. Dda, you better cover yourself up. And then he's like, what is that? And he points to his apron. And he goes, this is a sign of my powers and priesthoods. And then he's like, oh, powers. It's really cheesy.

And then he's like, yes. And then so he's like, you should cover up with one too. And then we all rise and put on our fig leaf apron from Lucifer. Like in the movie. Wouldn't that be like a there's your sign kind of moment? I mean, you would think, right? And honestly, people are always like Mormon or moron. And honestly, I mean, I get it. I felt like an idiot later. But at that time, no, you're so indoctrinated. And that's why I call it a cult. Because you are not thinking through the process. You're just doing it. And I even asked my grandma, hey, what's up with this? This is weird. Like, and she just said, be quiet. You'll get used to it. And then my great one. want to hear what my great grandma told me? I said, yeah, but that naked thing, that was bad.

And my great, great grandma said, I had to be scrubbed down naked in a tub with oil. And that is real. So she's like, quit your complaining. And I was like, oh, my gosh. Quit your complaining. Yeah. It's not as bad as it was for me. Shut your mouth and take it. I know. I was like, what are you talking about? And she's like, this is nothing. And I was like, oh. So when you said naked, are you said, like, I wasn't sure if you meant like in the past or you had to go through that whole thing like that. So were you, you had to be naked? Yes. But you have a poncho on, like a real, like think of a poncho from like a Latin country. And you put your head in and it's open in all the side area. And so they can reach in the side. And I have this in the presentation. It will show the girl. And they bless your loins and sinews and all this stuff. And they do. And they. do it now very carefully and they don't touch like your actual breast or like they'll just up here. But now so many people complained about being very exposed because, I mean,

it doesn't cover anything. It's completely open on the whole side. And this is happening away from the men, just so people know. This is in the ladies area before you start the temple session. So this is called the washing and anointing. And you go through that. And, And now, I guess, and the whole question I had for that was, my whole life, I've been told women cannot give a blessing ever. 12-year-old boys have more authority in the church than we do. So I was like, why is this lady here? Like, when's the guy coming in? And my grandma friendly was like, man, you're almost naked.

Why would you want a guy in here? And I'm like, because she doesn't have the authority. She doesn't have the Melchizedic priesthood. What are you talking about? And she can't do it. And she's like, it's different in the temple. Don't worry about it. And I know why now.

and it has to do with even a bigger thing that happens after the temple, and very few get this. It's called the second anointing. So these women have all had the second anointing and do actual blessings like that. So then when they give you your garments, you put them on, and then you robe, you put on your dress, a very white dress. I have pictures of all this, a one-breasted robe, so I'm very familiar. It's kind of like the OTO, but we wear clothes. We wear clothes underneath, a lot of clothes. We put the undergarments that they gave us on, then your bra, because they have to touch your skin first, and then the dress, and then the robe, and then a veil, and then the shoes and the panty hose. Yeah. It's a lot of clothes. I was always hot. It was, yeah. And you have to, you have to wear it in the summer. People are like, oh, you can just take those off in the summer, right? No. No. It's like a job. It's like a job. t-shirt and boxer shorts. So that's why you left left the church because you lacked physical discipline.

You just got too hot and you're just like, oh, yeah, this is, this blows. A lot of people just don't wear them. I mean, they should. You swear that you will. But, you know, I always did just because I was a hundred. I was a hundred in. Like, I had no doubts. Like, I was a hundred percent. And, you know, I just didn't question so later. So you're, so you're a hundred. So you're, so you're 100% in and your process of revelation was basically curiosity and

little seeds that were planted by like your mom. I wanted to prove my mom wrong. Right. And then so like so that okay that's interesting. So when you were when you were going through the prep path of proving your mom wrong

and you found you found you found contradicting information and it's like head scratch your stuff. I mean, at first I'm assuming you were trying to just push that away, right? Like you weren't trying to go there. You're just like, oh, no, I'm just, I'll ask my, I'll ask my, I'll ask my grandma. Don't give me the right answer. Yeah, I'll ask my grandma. Yeah. No, I just thought my mom was an idiot, honestly. Like, I know that's rude, but I was just like, you don't know. Like, you haven't got the secret handshakes and the passwords. Clearly, you don't know what's going on. Like, really, you are taught,

like honestly like I can tell you this like there is a very large population in Utah that are holier than everyone like though you want to talk about the most holier than now people now they don't act that way to everybody they're very nice this is their MO they're the nicest people ever they are but the sad thing is most of them are just like I was and they don't know what they're doing they don't I postulate only the top of the top know and the rest of the people are happy to not know. They don't want to know. And, you know, I only wanted to know to prove my mom wrong because she seemed crazy. I was like, you're crazy. And I remember my born again uncle, he got born again after. He said, they used to tell you to slit your throat in there. And I was like, you're freaking crazy,

man. Like, whatever, you're a nut job. Like, and I went and told my grandma, I was only like 13 before I went to the temple. And he scared the crap out of me. And I was, and I was just bawling. And I was like, you didn't do that right, Grandma? And she did do that, by the way. She did what? Like, swear that she would cut her throat and do all the bloodos. But they're mock. They're mock bloodos.

They're not real. But they used to be. But, you know, got messy, I guess. I don't know. But they used to swear that they would cut their stomachs open and let their bowels pour out or slit their throat and cut their tongue out if they talked about the things I'm telling you right now. Which is why they kept it under wraps for so long.

But does she admit that to you? Are you just drawing the conclusion that timeline-wise? The timeline. Yeah, she can't tell me. Yeah. But she told me that day. No. She told me that day, oh, honey, he's just trying to scare you.

He doesn't want you to go to the temple. It's the most beautiful place in the world. I'm like, okay. I was good enough. You know, I just never. I just never really thought any of this was. true. And then the more I researched, then I really fell down a rabbit hole. And then I was like, nobody's going to believe this. Because I know how I was. Like, I tried to put it in the sense of

my mind, like, ugh. I mean, this was, if somebody brought this to me back then, I would have flipped out. Like, I didn't throw them basically out of my house. And so, yeah. So, all right, you're doing all this research and you've uncovered a lot of things. You've mentioned about Crowley in this conversation. You've mentioned about, you know, that side of things. The Luciferian nature, then you talk, and you're talking about the ceremony in the temple referencing Lucifer. And then you put the, it's like, okay, well, at one point do we just do math here? Yeah. But you've mentioned also to me, I don't know if you said it before the interview started, but I think we're probably going to get into it in the presentation. But, you know, I'd like to hit on it here as well. Yeah, you had mentioned about the idea the frog deal.

I kind of want to go into it a little bit because you listen to the Dark Shift episodes. And that's episode 692 and 693. And in 693, we talk about the aspect of ball and ball being involved. and I've actually personally had this kind of off topic a little bit, but I've personally had some revelations recently because we've had several people since October 24 when we released that come and share their experiences with different entities that were not mentioned on those two episodes. And as of right now, I have, I want to say, I'm drawing, the reason why I want to say four, but I can only remember three right now. I have three, let's just say three different entities. And it's become apparent to me that this is something that has been going on.

And it's not just a singular entity. Like in 692, it was one entity. Six 93 was another entity. I have another interview that's going to be being released probably in the next month or two that has a whole other entity. And whenever I have somebody, on to talk about these entities, like I get attacked. I go through very strong spiritual warfare. And I just, like sometimes I'm really slow. And I was sitting in a Bible study at church. And my pastor said something. And it just sent me down this like mind rabbit hole. It's like, wait a second. Wait a second. I'm not just uncovering a methodology that entities. might use, I'm actually revealing specific entities and what they're doing specifically to people.

And every time I do that, I'm ticking them off. Yes, you are. Okay, now this is making sense. You know, and like, I'm not backing down from it. Like, I ain't afraid. I ain't scurred. But, you know, there's a whole, like, I took it serious before, but there's a whole other level of seriousness through just understanding what you're actually doing.

And so anyways, I say all that because anytime somebody says something that relates to any of that, I want to hear about it. So I don't know. Did it involve your daughter? I don't remember. It doesn't with the toad. But yes, I do believe we had an entity issue. And there's a whole story with that that's kind of big. But for the Toad story, and they even, I postulate they pregame this.

I was looking for the book. but it's called a salamander story with Mark Hoffman. And any Mormon will know this story because they'll say, no, that was fake. No. The actual story was true from Joseph Smith that he was digging for the plates at the time he was supposed to and he saw them and a toad was guarding them. And by the way, he only does this on the fall equinox.

It gets interesting. But we'll go there with, I explain all that. But this toad turns into something like a man. This is the quote, something like a man, and punches him in the face and doesn't let him have the plates. It was quite the process to get the plates apparently for years and years and years. He had to be worthy to receive them and do all these things. And that was part of that. So when I heard that, he said it was running in the forest and it was like this toad.

And then it turned into a man. And I was like, whoa. And then it had him dig. And I was like, oh my gosh. Like, this sounds just the same. Well, the Mark Hoffman thing, he came out and said he was this like exquisite forger. Okay. He liked to trade for other like expensive books or like old historical items.

And he tricked the church, so they say. But they ran with it. And this seems so strange. So they take his word and these. documents. He was very good at forging, so maybe they really did believe they were real. And they were paying him for these items. And one of them was this story about almost the same thing, but in this story, it was changed to a salamander. If you know anything about the occult at all, like a salamander has been forged by the fire and can't be burned. Like Paracelsus talks about this.

This is a Knights Templar representation. It's way better than a witch's familiar. I E. Toad, right? And so this story goes out and they print it everywhere. They put it in, we have a church. I say we still, because it's just, I'm not a Mormon anymore. Sometimes that happens. Yeah. And so they have a magazine called the enzyme and they put it in the enzyme. They put it all over. They average, oh, look at this proves, you know, Joseph Smith. And then later a guy supposedly killed two people with, bombs and then tried to kill himself with the same bomb that he killed the people with, but he didn't do it right for him. Seems weird. And then he's in prison. To this day, he's alive. His name is Mark Hoffman, and he all of a sudden quit singing like a canary and shut up because he one time tried to supposedly take too much medicine and was on the floor for 12 hours in maximum security, and no one checked on him. And for those 12 hours, he laid on his right arm. His arm, his arm, that he uses to forge, and it is now neurologically damaged beyond repair. He will never forge again.

So I find it very interesting that all of that occurred that way. But I'm a conspiracy theorist. That sounds a little bit like this guy I heard of Epstein, you know? Right. Yep, he shut up after that. Yeah. It's amazing what can happen in maximum security places. Not when everyone's Mormon. But I do postulate that they changed it, right? They did two things with this. If they were involved, this is just a conspiracy on my end of this. If the church did put this forward because they knew that story was coming out about the witch and the, like, witches' familiar being a toad, right? That is a well-known fact that witches

familiars are toads often. So maybe they wanted to flip that history, and they did. No one remembers the toad. Everyone remembers the salamander, and it's called the salamander story. So maybe they pre-gamed that. I don't know. Maybe he was their patsy. And in this story, the salamander turns into a man. Interesting. Because anybody who's listening right now who isn't familiar, episode 692 is called Dark Shift. That was a Tuesday show. The Thursday show was a member's exclusive episode 693. We called it, I think we called a Balls Dark Shift. And it's basically a mirror image of the first story, only the person who was sharing it in the first story, we had his brother on sharing his experience who was dealing with the entity ball, which is not the one from the first story.

And he says that in his recounting that he saw, if I remember correctly, he saw a cat, I think was first, and it went behind a tree. when he went over to the tree, there wasn't a cat there, but there was a frog. And then he saw the frog go behind another tree. And he went over to the frog, and there wasn't a frog there, but there was a man there. And that man was recruiting him, essentially, to work for him. And that man's name was Ball, which is a very ancient, very ancient demonic god. Oh, yeah. And, I mean, it's not only just in esoteric writings.

Ball is mentioned in scripture, and it's very much talked about. We're going to talk about multiple entities like that with the Mormon Church and the Keys of Solomon. That's what I was just going to bring up the lesser keys of Solomon. Yeah. Yeah. So we'll get into that for the overtime conversation. But I found interesting. Now, if we could, I know you said it was a long story, but is it possible to share about your daughter and how that kind of plays into this a little bit too. So it was really weird because my daughter had lived with, she was a flight attendant, and she had lived with this girl that had a background. She was Creel. And they were doing some hoodoo or voodoo. I'm not sure which, but they did this love spell and all this weird

stuff. And she kept saying, you know, afterward, like, my room's really cold and all this weird stuff was happening and I'm like, oh my gosh. And then around this same time frame, we're planning a trip and we're going to go to Italy. And so we fly to Italy and we end up, we're just having a sandwich. And I have pictures of this guy, like all this stuff just to prove it because it's easier. But my daughter had just before that been brutally assaulted sexually. And she does talk about this. So I am not exposing her stuff here. She advocates and tells her story. So anyway, this guy was, it was bad. It was so bad that, like, medically, she was not okay for eight weeks, almost.

And so we were taking her to Italy for a birthday. We're like trying to cheer her up and we're doing all this stuff. And we're standing there eating a sandwich. And she had been really off, but, you know, the damage and everything she was going through. So we just kind of, you know, let it go. And this guy comes up to us. And he looks like a gladiator, literally. Like, and he was in a show.

And he's super famous. And he was like, hey, do you guys want to join my group, my tour guide group, whatever? And I'm like, get out of here. My husband's buying sandwiches. If he comes back here, he is not going to like this situation at all. Like, you got to go. And so my husband, you know, he's pretty good that way. but if somebody's super jacked, because he's pretty jacked,

like if they're more jacked than him, that's just not going to work. So I'm like, uh-oh, this is bad. And so he's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not trying to doing it. I'm like, okay, whatever. And so I'm kind of blowing him off, but she's like, well, maybe we should look. And he's like, I did Courtney Kardashian last week. And then he pulls out his Instagram and shows us.

And it's legit. Like, he really does these tours for famous people, but we're just like normal people. So I'm like, why are you, what, this seems weird. Like, how much is this? Because this sounds like crazy. 50 bucks, he says, a person. And so I'm like, all right, whatever, I guess. And so we go.

And he takes us on this, like, off the beaten path tour, right? Like, the churches you probably wouldn't have seen, the things you probably wouldn't have seen. And so we're doing this and we're going through. And then, you know, there's this really old Catholic church. And then it goes down beneath. And he said it used to be a temple. He didn't say to who or what.

We weren't really paying it. This is before I'm 100% on Christian stuff. Like I missed all this. I mean, I'm Mormon still coming out. Like, I'm in the in-between. And she is sad. And so we're just having a good time. And he's telling us all this stuff.

But you're looking everywhere. You're like, oh, wow, wow. There's like a dead body of there, all kinds of crazy stuff. Like in a case, last case. Just weird. And so he takes us all over. and then after we get done and stuff, like we look him up. It's legit.

He really was in a like a gladiator show. I can't remember the name of it, but it's on my slide show thing. But it's all legit. Like he's kind of famous. And I mean, maybe he did it once. And then now he just does these tours and uses that for it. I don't know. And somebody else knew who he was.

It wasn't Gladiator, but it's some name like that. And it's older. But long story short, we didn't know anything about the place, like nothing. We just knew it was built over an old temple. That's it. But we did go beneath, and he had like a pass to go to like certain places that you normally wouldn't get to go. And so we did all that. We leave Italy. And then we go on another vacation in June. And we take the kids unbeknownst to us, like, well, it's kind of a creepy area around Crescent City, deep, deep, deep off grid in this cabin in the woods. Okay. It couldn't be any more spooky. It runs off a

generator. Like this place is like off grid. And all of a sudden in the middle of the night, like there's banging. And I'm like, holy crap. And I'm trying to wake up my husband because he's out of it. And I'm like, hey, I think that it's a bear like or something's happening. Like the house is going to break. And so the whole front is just glass. It's a big. A-frame glass front. And so I was freaking out. I was like, holy crap, this thing's going to come through a window. And he's just still asleep. But my kids were upstairs and they were yelling. And then so I went to go get the little kids. And he looks around eventually. And he's like, which window? And I showed him. And he's, and the kids were like, yeah, on that side. And he's like,

that's impossible. And I said, why? And he's like, because it's like way up there, way bigger than a bear, way bigger than anything. I had to be a bird or something. I'm like, in the middle of the night, like, it's dark. And he's like, I don't know, I'm going back to bed. So whatever. He's done. He's over with it. And he's like, there's nothing out there now, you know, go to bed. And my kids are just hysterical. They're about eight and nine about this time. And I'm like, what is your two's deal? That wasn't funny. It's scary. And they're like, no, our sister, she sat up in the bed, the one that went with us to Italy. I try not. to say her name because, you know, and she sits up in there and she yells,

Minerva, no, and then just lays back down. And I, like I said, I'm pretty normie at this point. And I was like, go to bed. You guys are dumb. Like, I didn't even think about any of it. And then they kept doing it the whole vacation. Manurva, no. They're like teasing her the whole time. And this is probably why it's stuck in my brain because they were just going on. Literally, I was like, shut up, that's enough. Like, stop, you're killing me. And so then we go home and all this weird stuff happens. She meets this guy. She estranges from the family within like months of this, right? And so I'm doing research, remember, trying to figure everything out. Well, this weird thing comes up, Minerva, when I'm searching things and I'm like, wait, what? So I start looking it up. And then my

husband comes home like a couple days later from work and he goes, hey, did you see that Facebook check-in that we did in Italy? And I'm like, no. Why? And he's like, because I know he said something about a Minerva thing the other day. I'm like, yeah. And he's like, well, that place we went, that was the Temple Day Minerva. And I was like, you're freaking lying. And he's like, no, you need to go check. And so I do. And there it is. It is literally called the Temple Day Minerva. It's built, a Catholic church is built over the top of it now of the ruins. So the story about Minerva, I don't know if you know, but that temple. So Minerva was married.

I think it's Poseidon. And I'm not a hundred on which God he is, but a God. And they're together. And she has all these girls that come and worship her in her temple. And Medusa comes in and she's really, really beautiful. And she's described as like super just like knock it out of the part. And her dude is like, oh, what's up? And she's like, get away from me.

I'm like, worshipping your wife, you weirdo. And so he takes advantage of her the same way that it happened to my daughter. He raped her in this temple. And so all that happened. And then my daughter's saying, Minerva, no. And that's why she got cursed with the snakes on her head because Minerva put him there. That's what happened. That's what happened to Medusa.

That's why she had the snakes on her. head. So later, later, I'm not talking to my daughter at all at this time because she is like, no phone calls, no Facebook, no nothing. It is like, you're dead to me. And so I'm obviously, clearly not talking to her about those. My other daughter comes home from like work or whatever. And she goes, did you see her new tattoo? And this is what killed me about your episode. I was like, oh my gosh. I said, no, why? And she goes, it's so weird because she's super girlie. Like she was a flight attendant. Like she's a super girlie's girl ever. She did a full sleeve and I have a photo of it. And she puts on there Medusa. And it is, she puts a story with it,

which I also screenshoted because my daughter's phone, the other daughter. And she said this whole story about how she felt after her, her violation full of snakes and all this. And all this weird stuff. Like, it is like weird. And then brands herself with a Medusa tattoo. And she knows nothing to this day about any of this because I've never spoke to her. So yeah, that was what happened there. Yeah, even freaked out my husband. He's pretty hard to freak out. He thinks I'm full of it. It's becoming very clear that these ancient deities, these ancient gods, they never went anywhere. They changed faces throughout the generations.

And as we move into these next, I don't know, what you even want to call the arrow we're moving into, it seems to me that these ancient gods are, they're returning, and they're not really hiding who they are. They feel emboldened. And maybe it's just gearing up for that, the final came down. I totally agree.

But, you know, it's that final battle. And so that's wild stuff. Well, I possibly, too, with that love spell, like then she meets the guy that tears her away from her family. And, like, he literally walked up to her in a crowded airport and said, God told me to talk to you. Or I'd regret it for the rest of my life. And so that's how they met. And then on top of it, she completely changes her whole personality and everything about who she is. after this happens.

And, you know, this whole, like, Minerva, Medusa business, it was just, even my kids were, they're not a hundred on my stuff, like that I'm like, ooh, this is weird. They're like, okay, that is weird. Because that's scary. And she literally sits there and talks about how she identifies with her, all of it. And when I heard that guy talk about Bill and he tattooed himself,

I was like, oh, my gosh. like okay and sometimes I think when you've had a soul wound like that you're and plus she was playing with magic right like she's doing your daughter was yeah she was doing she did a love spell with her cohorts that they lived together the other flight attendant that was from new orleans yeah and then that guy came up to her and said that and now they're married oh that's a whole story it really is and i i have pictures of it because i know it sounds insane like of her her tattoo the whole thing because I'm just like, whoa. And then all this happens to our family, like I said, like all these things have changed. And it, and the one thing I've read a lot about

is if people are maybe not inhabited but have an attachment, right? Like the guy talked about, it does say like they don't want to get into deep conversation with people that used to know them because then I'm going to know something's up. Like, hey, what are you talking about? You know, who better than your mom. But yeah, it was weird. I don't know. All right. So let's gear up for the overtime and where we get into the slideshow and the nitty

gritty of things. Before we get out of here, though, for anybody who wants to look you up, where can they find your podcast? Of course. I am Heidi Love of the Unfiltered Rise. I'm everywhere podcasters served. I do have my own website. It's Unfiltered Rise Podcast.com.

It updates with the shows along with any of the podchacers. So if you don't want to go to a podchaser, you can go. there. Spotify drops twice a week because YouTube is rough right now, you guys. I cannot put certain things on there. I got dinged enough and I'm right on the edge of that. So, so that's where I'm at. Yes. Awesome. Well, thanks for joining me and I'll see you in a little bit. You bet. I can't fit within their kaleidoscope of what they want me to believe. Every time I say my family, they don't mean I don't care.

It's just sometimes I feel stretched in and I know that isn't fair. But I can't...