The Confessionals - 895: Alien Abduction & the Stolen Seed

Episode Date: September 8, 2026

Could the truth behind alien abductions be far more disturbing than the public has been led to believe? The Confessionals host Tony Merkel sits down with Karin Wilkinson, author of Stolen Seed, Evil Harvest, to hear her chilling testimony of a lifetime of encounters that began in childhood and eventually led her into what she describes as a hidden underground program. As her memories became clearer, Karin began questioning who these beings really were, what they wanted from humanity, and why she believes the truth is being hidden behind the growing UFO disclosure narrative. Her search for answers ultimately led her to a terrifying conclusion about the spiritual nature of these entities and the deception surrounding them. But Karin’s story doesn’t end in fear. She reveals the moment everything changed when she turned to Jesus Christ and discovered that the beings she had feared her entire life no longer had power over her.If you’re able, consider helping the Merkel family with medical expenses by donating to Lindsay’s GoFundMe: https://gofund.me/b8f76890📕 Pre-order Tony's Book: https://a.co/d/0bJS3SaV📰 Subscribe to Our Newsletter: https://www.theconfessionalspodcast.com/newsletterBecome a member for ad-free listening, extra shows, and exclusive access to our social media app: theconfessionalspodcast.com/joinThe Confessionals Social Network App:Apple Store: https://apple.co/3UxhPrhGoogle Play: https://bit.ly/43mk8kZThe Counter Series Available NOW:The Counter (YouTube): WATCH HEREThe Counter (Full Episode): WATCH HERETony's Recommended Reads: slingshotlibrary.comIf you want to learn about Jesus and what it means to be saved: Click HereMerkel Media Apparel: merkmerch.comKarin WilkinsonWebsiteSPONSORSGHOSTBED: GhostBed.com/tonyQUINCE: quince.com/tonyIVERMECTIN: twc.health/tonyVENICE AI: https://venice.ai/theconfessionalsRUMBLE WALLET: https://rumblewallet.onelink.me/bJsX/ConfessionalsCONNECT WITH USWebsite: www.theconfessionalspodcast.comEmail: [e-mail] ADDRESS:Merkel Media6726 Morganton RdP.O. Box #08Greenback, TN 37742SOCIAL MEDIASubscribe to our YouTube: https://bit.ly/2TlREaIReddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/theconfessionals/Discord: https://discord.gg/KDn4D2uw7hShow Instagram: theconfessionalspodcastTony's Instagram: tonymerkelofficialFacebook: www.facebook.com/TheConfessionalsPodcasTwitter: @TConfessionalsTony's Twitter: @tony_merkelProduced by: @jyorkofficialOUTRO MUSICTony Merkel - Down The Rabbit HoleAvailable on Spotify

Hey, everyone, before we get to this week's show, this is just your weekly reminder to please continue to pray for my wife, Lindsay. She is battling breast cancer right now, and we're praying for complete healing in Jesus' name. Thank you. Merkel. Media. This was all circulating around the base that a giant had to kill, but no one was supposed to talk about it. I saw three long, boning fingers, reach up underneath the door, curl up to grab it, and then disappeared.

When he came over to me, dude, he slithered over to me. He's out of the cave and they're all frozen. And he starts running and firing up this giant. With a giant moves, he's got a spear in one hand, and he's running really fast. And spears Dan holds him up like this. Somebody else shoot him in the face, shoot him in the face. They basically decapitated him. Got closer, got closer, got spursing, when he got about 15 yards away from me, I raised that 12 days and I blow this head off.

I feel something pulling at my leg, and I look over and there are two small. Reach my hand into this bush, and I touch air. Couldn't breathe and I couldn't move because I know I'm seeing a monster. Welcome to the show, everybody listening to The Confessionals Podcast. I'm your host, Tony Merkel. Thanks for being here. If you've an experience you want to share or a topic you want to discuss, go ahead and shoot us an email. My email address is contact at the confessionalspodcast.com.

That's contact at the confessionalspodcast.com. Or go to the website, the confessionalspodcast.com. Hit the contact section and you can reach me that way as well. Otherwise, for me, just get a hold of me. If you want more shows on a weekly basis, we got you covered. We have memberships. And members get a bonus show every Thursday. We've done it for years.

We have hundreds of episodes waiting for you to listen to right there when you become a member. You also get access to our membership app, which is a social, media community that we house the member episodes on. We also house them on the website. But if all that interests you, extra content, social media app, all that stuff, become a member to the confessionalspodcast.com slash join today. See you on the other side. Friends, I have a book coming out October 6th. You can pre-order today. It's called The Confessionals Exposing Warring Kingdoms. It's me documenting my journey through the supernatural, how I got to the conclusions I got to through the show and my own personal life experiences.

I think this book is going to be a deeply impactful book for many people as they read how this came together. And if you're interested in it, go ahead and pre-order today. Link in the description of this episode, all pre-orders greatly help the book advance in these algorithms on Amazon. So it gets more exposure and more people's lives can be changed through the messaging of this book. And I do believe that statement wholeheartedly.

How I end this book, I really think is going to help. impact people's lives and put things in perspective as to what they are personally dealing with. So thank you very much for everybody who has pre-ordered. And if you haven't done so yet and you're interested, like I said, link in the description of this episode. Friends, Jack and Derek did it. Merkmerch is back. Merckmerch.com is now live and well. We have the hats, the t-shirts, the hoodies in there. But we also have the coffee. And when you order coffee, this is not something that's picked off the shelf and we just throw it in a box and ship it to you. We actually take your order. We don't just put it in a box and ship it to you. We actually put that order in

and get fresh beans shipped to us within days, and then we ship it to you. So you have fresh coffee arriving right there on scene. It ain't stale and it isn't old. It's fresh and available to you right now atmercmerch.com. All right, friends, listen, this week we have a great show coming for you. We have Karen Wilkinson who joins me in studio to share a deeply personal testimony of what she says began in her childhood, encounters with grays, the sleep paralysis, the abductions, and underground facilities, and even a reproductive program that she was exposed to through a mysterious handler who remained present throughout her life. As we unpack, the screen memories that she's had, the dimensional travel, the disclosure topic in general, and the

overlap between the UFO phenomenon and spiritual warfare, Karen explains why she ultimately came to believe that these entities were not benevolent visitors. but part of a much deeper biblical deception. Most importantly, though, she shares how calling on Jesus broke the fear and control these experiences held over her and why she believes the answer for others facing the same darkness is found at the foot of the cross. So let's get to Karen and this profound testimony right now.

Karen Wilkinson in studio, how are you? I'm great. How are you, Tony? I'm good. It's always awkward to start the conversation for me, especially it's like, oh, you just got here, right? No, you've been here for a couple hours. We've been talking. Right.

But so you're somebody who I talked to, gosh, it had to be at least 200 episodes ago. I mean, it was a long time ago. That's a long time. Yeah, it's, it, YouTube, we were, I don't even know if I was actually trying much with YouTube when I talked to you. Yeah, I don't remember if we did audio or video or so long ago. Yeah. But, uh, you have a story of how you, abduction. and I don't know how else to say other than seating you, you know,

impregnitation. And there's been this whole life of manipulation that you've gone through. And you have a very dramatic story to share with people. And we were talking, I forget what, I forget how this conversation, how you getting here happened, but it happened so fast. I mean, I think it was like two or three weeks ago. Not even. I may.

Yes. And you're just like, let's make it happen now. And it was okay. It was a combination, I think, of things because we happened to be coming home and L.A. was coming out this direction. And you had wanted to try to do something together with us. And it just worked out. And I think sometimes God's timing is perfect. Yeah.

Or always God's timing is perfect. Sorry, but sometimes when we listen to God's timing. Sometimes we see his perfect timing. Yes. And we allow it to unfold the way he wants it. Because I think when we try to push too hard for our agenda, it doesn't work. Right. So, yeah, we just kind of let God take it.

and see where it went, and it happened very quickly. So it's crazy. Because I think right around time I was talking to you, L.A. text me. And he said, hey, I'm going to be in Nashville. You want to do something? I was, yeah. Come on out. And so, and I said, well, funny, you text me because I'm talking to Karen.

And it just worked. So while we're talking right now, Derek is going to Nashville to pick up L.A. and bring him out here. And when he gets here tonight, him and I are going to record a conversation. And then tomorrow you, me in L.A. and Jack are going to be doing a live show for Slingshot Nation together. We're going to be talking about Disclosure Day and all that stuff. So, yeah, fun times. But what I want to do today is focus on your story, your testimony. You have a book here, Stolen Seed, Evil Harvest.

And that is through LA's company, publication company. And when did this book come out? I think it's been two years. Is that it? Really? Okay. Maybe three. I'll have to look. Yeah, it's all gone by so fast. And I've had so much happen in that period of time that I, that's terrible. I should know. I know it came out in October. Maybe it might be three years this October. It all happened so fast when it did come out. And the way that it happened was so strange because God just put me in touch with L.A. Marzuli. We happened to be, able to get together because he was in Dallas and I did not expect to really tell him my story. And the Holy Spirit just opened my, you know, allowed me to open my mouth and share something that I didn't think I would share with anyone besides maybe my husband or even when I tried to share with friends, they would just laugh. So I hadn't shared it. I was terrified to share my story. And I sat down and didn't interview with L.A. I did not know him at the time. And,

had no idea that, you know, in the years to follow, we would all become such amazing friends and he would become like family to us, which he has. But at the time, I was just terrified. I thought he would just laugh at me and send me out the door. But, you know, I really felt led to share the truth. So I did. And that became the center point for the fourth movie in the UFO series that he was doing on abductions. I think I brought you a rare copy of the single fourth movie, which I happened to have a few of. And when that came out, I was terrified because now I'm like, other people are going to know my story and I'm just going to be, you know, ridiculed, which I was to some degree, but not as badly as I imagine. What happened was people came out of the woodwork

and thanked me for sharing my story. That I did not expect. And then they wanted to share their stories. And people were saying, this same thing happened to me or this similar thing happened to me. And I thought I was alone all these years. And now I have someone that I can talk to about this. I feel like someone knows what I'm feeling or what I went through. And this happened over and over and over again in a very short period of time once the movie came out. I was just shocked. And I started talking with people and praying with people. And then LA, I started writing for LA's newsletter about different things like the grays and different things that I experienced. And he suggested that we write a book. book together, which I was very excited about. But then he got very busy. And he's like, I don't have time to do that. But why don't you go ahead and write your story? And that's how the book came to be. I had never had any intention of writing it. I did not expect to. But, you know, it was very Holy Spirit-led. And I just sat down and wrote the truth, wrote what happened. And along with some things that help people understand, you know, help people understand some of the definitions and some of who and what these things are. and some of the history behind it. And I wanted to share with people about UFOs, UAPs, aliens from a biblical perspective.

Because I couldn't find that anywhere. L.A. Morsali was doing it to some degree, but I couldn't find anyone like me writing their story from a biblical perspective and then telling people, hey, also, here's how you can stop it. You know, here's the truth about what they are and what you can say and do to them to, to stop them from taking you. And so that my goal in the book was just to help people see they're not alone, show people how to get away from this and how to stop it, and to open people's eyes to the fact that the Bible is more than just cutesy stories about Noah and the Ark and about our savior. It is all about our Savior from beginning to end. Yes. But it also talks about whom what these things are. There are parts of the Bible that the churches just don't want to

talk about. You don't want to teach about. And they're really important. More so now today than ever. More so now than the first time you and I talked and spoke. It's crazy, right? How much have changed? It's, yeah, isn't it? The world is a different place than even from the first time we discussed this, when it was still so fringe the first time I talked to about it. Now it's mainstream. Just a few short years later, it's mainstream. I'm like, well, how did that happen so good? Yeah. And now I'm the grifter, apparently. So your story involves, obviously, Graze, like you had mentioned, underground facilities. You had a handler.

There's been so many, like, twist and turns, obviously I mentioned about the reproductive program. But even to the point of, and I'm going to say something here. If you don't want to go down this route, we can even take it out if you prefer. Sure. Because I don't know how open you've been about certain things. But even down to talking about this stuff and people. trying to eliminate you from off this earth because of it. Right.

And I'm trying to say it in YouTube, YouTube code worthy. Yes. Yes. But I, this has been like a lifelong thing, but it starts as a child. Yes. And if you could just kind of start us off from your earliest memory of how this started unfolding for you because I almost said it before we started recording and I'll say it now, though, When we start talking about the underground facilities, you know, I talk to so many people that

sometimes stories blur together. And I can't remember who said what sometimes, right? Okay. And I was reviewing your case earlier today, and it sounded so familiar. And it just turned out that this past Friday, I talked to a woman who has a lot of similar things that she shared with underground facilities. How she was getting there, though, completely. different than you. And it vary. And it really shows how the lines get crossed. Like one person is talking about abduction, alien abduction type thing. Another person might be talking about M.K. Ultra type thing. And people, I think naturally we want to separate things. Oh, that's that. That's that. And it's like, nope, this all merges together. It's all the same thing. Yeah. Exactly. Vicki,

Joy Anderson, your friend of mine and I have been saying this for so long. We're all talking about the same things. There are different names for them and there are different categories, but we're really talking about the light and the dark, the good and the evil. And they're operating in this company and we're operating in that company and God's good company. And, you know, but it's all under two different roofs, but it's really all the same things and ends up in the same place in the end. And, well, two different places in the end, right? But yeah, but yeah, I love that, that you've made that connection because it's interesting when I talk to people who recognize the things that I'm talking about. Yes, I've been in that big white room where they just, they would make us go sit and do puzzles or read things or try to,

you know, have us do something and we need to be know what we were doing. And there were other people there and I hated that room. I'm like, yes, I was in that room. I know what you're talking about. It might not have been that room and it might not have been that group of entities. And we might have gotten there through different vehicles. But they're all working towards the same. same end goal to manipulate us, to utilize us, and to get us away from the truth of God's kingdom and of God's word and to bring us to, for lack of sounding cliche, the dark side, if you will. So there's like, so there's different ways to look at it.

So for instance, with you, there's a physical side where there's DNA, there's there's a desire for something physical with you. Yes. The woman I was talking to who had very similar underground situations, hers was more, I would say, psionic, psychological,

or not psychological, psychic. And there's a real unique interest there. And so there's these, it's like, you and her there, where there is,

for your recollection, two different reasons. Right. But you describe, very similar things, the men in white coats, these glass rooms. So she, like, you talk about seeing children in these, like, window rooms. Yes. She describes being in a window room. Yes. And I was in window rooms with them, too. Yes. And they did, I think, you know, for her and I, I bet if we sat down together, what she's discussing and what she's describing are things that

still happen to me and what I'm describing are things that actually happened to her. But we have more poignancy towards remembering certain areas of it than others. And I also think that screen memories is something to be considered. Very much. She, the way she described, I feel like I'm jumping the gun, we will get to. It's fine. But the way she described getting to the underground facility. Yes.

One, she says that it was, she would always find herself in these different types of dreams, lucid dreams, always in different types of bodies of water. And she would have to swim through a cave system and it would open up into an underground facility where this was happening. And as I was sitting there thinking about all this this morning, I was thinking, what if her quote unquote dreams are screen memories showing her different ways of how she's getting there? And in every case, it's showing her telling her, you chose to come here.

You came here. You weren't taken here. You were brought. You chose to come here. Exactly. And I was just started thinking, like, how many times do people have experiences where they're, they're missing how they actually got there because it's an actual screen. memory.

Exactly. So that makes sense. Anyways. I totally get that. I totally get that. And I think they, what they do is they'll connect with this on, on levels of this is something that's going to make sense to this person. So we're going to insert this screen memory here because for this person to be swimming

would not be unusual or it would be a comforting thing or for this person to be in an elevator or, you know, on a bus or on a train or what have you. So as they're getting us there and they're inserting screen memory so that we're not dealing with the actual place that we are because I have memories of being, you know, shuttled in what could only be a ship. But I, you know, when I say I don't have any ship memories, I don't have any memories of a ship landing in the backyard, that type of thing. But do I have memories of being on them? Oh, definitely. But I don't know if that was taking me to an underground facility. And I don't know if they went into the water or into a volcano or who knows. You know,

you hear all these different stories. Because at that point, they don't want us to react to the things that we're seeing or experiencing and to have these excited emotional reactions. And honestly, the people that I saw with me always seemed almost as if they were drugged. And I don't think they were actually on any kind of medication that would drug them, but I think they were put into a state of mind and a state of being where they were, it's like the UFO brain fog we talk about, where you're, you can't. really control your thoughts and emotions and your, your actions. It's like, I always say it's like

thinking and walking through molasses. You know, everything is just really slowed down and really concentrate, even to accomplish the slightest task because you're not in control. Something is, it's like a block is put on you. And it would be like if you were given a strong medication is the only way I can think of to describe it. And other people were acting that same way. So yeah, I think that the screen memories are there to, hey, not to give away what they're doing, you know, and to protect us psychologically sometimes from some things that are too hard for us to understand. And to keep us from being able to explain it too well. Yeah. I don't know.

So this all starts in childhood. Yes. Tell me about the first memories that you have of this. It goes back to my earliest memories. I don't have a time in my childhood. where I don't remember, there's not a time I don't remember being taken from my very earliest memories. And I was afraid of people who were slender, tall, fair haired, fair skin, fair eyed, terrified. I would just scream bloody murder. And unfortunately, that's what my father's side

of the family looked like because they were very German, Norwegian looking. So, some of those family members I was terrified of because they reminded me of these entities that I was already in contact with and these are memories of kind of I don't have a lot of memories

of being two, three, four, five years old but I do remember that I just remember screaming and not being able to look at their faces because it reminded me it was so poignant and because I was already encountering these Nordic entities

so as a small child you know, you don't differentiate that. You just know things that remind you are similar. If you're scared of a bee, you're going to be scared of a fly and a wasp and anything that flies, you know, when you're little two or three years old. So my real memories come into play around kind of five, six years old, which I think is pretty normal. And at that point, I just remember being afraid to go to sleep every night. I would try to find places to hide. You know, I talk about in the, I think I talk in the book about, about.

about thinking if I could get a suitcase big enough and get in it and put it under the bed and zip it up that they wouldn't be able to find me. And a sibling says to me, and we're little kids having these conversations, right? And five, maybe, you know, three years older, saying it doesn't matter where you hide. They always find us. They can see us through the house. What are little kids doing having conversations like that? What were we talking about? We didn't have names for them.

We just called them. they. We didn't know what a gray was. We didn't know what an alien was. We didn't know what a UFO was. We just knew. And so I don't ever talk about anyone else's story. I only talk about mine. So if I reference someone, it's going to be very benign. So I realized there was nowhere to hide. And it was terrifying going to sleep. I'd put all the covers over my head and closed my eyes as tight as I could and just, you know, it would happen. I would feel them before I saw them. There's just a feeling that would, it's so hard to describe.

There's a feeling you get when they're around. I can always tell when they're around. You have to ask L.A. tomorrow to tell you that story because he experienced that with me. And then there's a weird feeling you get after you've been returned, which is an even different feeling. And I always call it like the 17th sense because it doesn't make sense. So I can't describe it to anyone how it feels. feels, it's just there's this sensation you get or I get and I've talked to other people and they know exactly what I'm talking about. So I'm not alone in this after you've been returned.

And I don't know if it's body readjusting to possibly going through different, you know, environments or dimensions or maybe what they do or what they put us through because, you know, obviously there's screen memories involved so there's some things we don't know. what they've done. But there's definitely just a specific feeling. But as a little kid, I just remember being terrified to go to bed. I couldn't look out of the windows. I couldn't look out windows at night until probably about 10 years ago. Really? I'm not kidding. Wow. Until I really knew that God had me and that I was okay. And now I defiantly look out windows at night and I'm looking, you know, and I'll look up at the sky and go, there's not going to be anything there.

and there's not going to be anything out there. And I know sometimes they're out there. I can feel them, but I just still will defiantly look out a window because I know God's got me. But I couldn't look out a window. I mean, as a grown adult, you know, like that's crazy, right? And I've heard other people share that same sentiment. So I, you know, what's been comforting about this is I'm not alone either anymore in these things.

But they would, after I would, as soon as I would feel their presence, They would sometimes show up in the room. Usually at least two of them, they seem to come in twos, two or four. And they would be the little shorter, bulbous, hairless, gray entities. They had big heads and big, just black, almost almond-shaped eyes that looked like a blank screen. There were no, the eyes didn't move. there was no expression, no expression in their eyes, no expression on their face. They were very just robotic in nature.

Their necks were really thin. Their arms and legs were thin. Their bodies were just very plain, almost like you couldn't fit anything in there. You know, they didn't appear male or female. There were no visible definition of what they might be. and they would show up in the next thing I know, I would either be put into a sleep state. And when I was awake, if there was anyone else in the room,

like a sibling or maybe later on a spouse, or if my parents were in the house, if I were yell, no one would hear me. They wouldn't move. They wouldn't rouse from their sleep. It's like everyone would be getting into this, just put into this deep, deep state of unconsciousness of sleep. Do you think that they were in a deep state of sleep themselves, or could it be that the abduction, some of the logistics behind the abduction, isolates you from the environment around you?

That's what I think, you know, as having done now the research that I've done over these years and the people I've spoken with, I believe that these grays travel within a dimensional bubble of sorts. And so when I would feel that change, that meant I was being brought into that bubble with that. And so once you're kind of in that dimensional bubble, if you will, you're no longer speaking into the dimension that you were in. So they're not going to hear you because you've already really been transferred out of that dimension. And so once you've been kind of phased into this bubble that they're in, that's how they can take you up through a ceiling or out through a window. And I always describe it as feeling very like a low vibrational hum really low. low, really, really, low vibrational, eerie

hum. And I think that's the sound that accompanies you going into that. And like said, the best way I can describe it is just to describe a bubble of space around them that is a different time and space. And this is some of the things I want to write about in the next book, because I didn't really cover that.

Obviously, in this book, it was just the basics of what happened. I really, I'm glad you're going to be writing another book talking about this because there's There's a lot of, I'm getting to a point where when I hear somebody like yourself describing that, I'm thinking logistics now, you know? The curiosity bone has been really just, I'm not like, I wonder if this has happened. No, I get it.

I know. So now we're talking to just, how can we understand this, right? Right, right. And so you're talking about this, this bubble. And I guess two questions. one, from your perspective, the bubble, like you're taken into this bubble, are you then in another state of existence?

And if so, do you still feel physical at the same time? Because what I'm trying to convey to people my gut feeling on a lot of this stuff is that just because, like, so we have this physical existence that we only know. Right. But when you're talking about interdimensional, beings, entities, and maybe possibly for elementary understanding, I call the second heaven. Daniel 10 talks about this warfare happening. Right. So whatever that is, when people are being taken to this other place, I feel like they're being taken to a place where they can experience

physical like we've experienced it here, but it's also the spiritual side as well. It's like both are now merged together. Right. Is that kind of like how this bubble is? I think for me, I felt different. Like I said, I felt like I was made of bazillion different little pieces. Okay, and that's the best way I can describe it. It's like I felt like my being was different. And I think this gets into more quantum physics.

You know, I think it's, there's not going to be a really good way to describe it because it's outside of our understanding of physics. So it's like taking, you know, this iPhone back to the 1850s and having them then describe it to their friends. It's going to be really hard to describe how the data travels the next 25 packet switching networks across the country. There's no way for them to describe that, right? So it's hard for me to describe except to say that I felt my physical existence felt different. And I think that this is a mode of transportation because we're, Once I would get to the destination, say an underground facility, I felt physically normal again.

So I think that they are utilizing this second heaven, if you will, or other dimensional for travel. Because once you're in that, time doesn't exist the same way. Like I would be taken sometimes and then, you know, come back and no one's noticed I'm gone. and it doesn't seem as if time has passed. Wow. Okay. And then my doctors, when I first started going through some of these physical problems, they couldn't explain, explained to me that my body was aging more slowly than the normal person's body would age. So my chronological age and my physical age didn't match up.

So my body was younger. than what my physical age was. How do you explain that? I don't understand that. I wasn't aging as fast. Yeah. And they can tell that by they were following my growth plates and they were following the growth of my body,

see when they could do the first surgery because they had to make sure that I was done growing before they could start putting the first titanium in me. So the health problems stem back that far. Oh, yeah. I think I was 13 or 14 when they first noticed there was problems with my spine. Wow. And we did the first surgery when I was 17. And then I didn't have any more for a while until I was in my 40s, I think.

And then we've just done what I hope is the last of these and dealing now with a whole new set of things that I won't talk about. But I won't share yet until we know fully what's going on. But yeah, so it started a long. long time ago. So they're taking you in these bubbles and it's, it's affecting the time that your body is physically experiencing. Right. And you're right.

It's hard to even put into words. It's hard to wrap your mind around that, isn't it, right? But it makes sense. There's physical, there's physical remnant from that because of how your body aged. Right. But it's not like, oh, so she's young and how. know, you actually have a lot of physical problems because of what happened to you. Yes.

And the doctors, have they ever had any, like, thoughts of like, oh, this, it's because of this. That's why you're not feeling the way, feeling so good these days. Yeah. No, but the latest one that I won't say what it is, commonly is found among military professionals and people who are exposed to unusual chemicals or radiation, none of which. which is me. Gotcha. Unless we consider that there were similarities and that I was around a lot of military people being taken my whole life.

And who knows what types of radiation and chemicals, because a lot of us, they said this is the kind of thing we'd see, someone who had been exposed to, you know, maybe massive amounts of radiation or this or that. So, you know, some of it, they don't understand because, like, one thing would be okay. but there's like seven different things going on in my bone structure and my you know right now on top of the new thing so that's what now on top of the neuromuscular things so it's it's that's what's confusing no one can tell me why and there's no history of it in my family i mean you i mean i guess they're part of you probably wish that somebody could tell you why but i mean you know why you know like so i could get upset about something So I have something to shake my fist at. Can I have something naturally?

Something natural to be upset about. Something that's normal. I just want to be upset about something that's normal. Normal. That, yeah, normal is not something that crosses my path. Unfortunately, wouldn't that be nice? Okay, let's take a second to talk about our sponsor today, which is Quince. You know these pieces in your closet that you find all the time.

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pages on the cover photo, you'll see me and my book, The Confessionals, Exposing Warring Kingdoms, you'll see me wearing a Quince tan jacket. And I love that thing. It looks good, it feels great, and it came from Quince, and you can get your stuff from Quince as well. All you got to do is find your next fall favorites at Quince. Download the Quince app for app exclusive offers or go to Quince.com slash Tony. Get free shipping. on your order and 365-day returns now available in Canada and the UK too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com slash Tony. Yeah. So the bubble, that's how you're phasing through ceilings and windows. In my opinion, yes. Yeah. And at any moment in any of these experiences, are you completely paralyzed?

Are you able to move around while you're being transported? Most commonly, At that point, once I've noticed them in the room and I feel them and then I see them. And I'm terrified. That's the point at which I become a state of what I call waking paralysis, not sleep paralysis because I've physically woken up at that point. And there's a difference, you know, with sleep paralysis, you wake up, but you can't move. Oh, no, I've woken up. I've probably moved at that point and gotten upset, maybe his little kid with the bed or something because I was so just scared. and then then I'm put into a physical paralysis.

So now I'm still awake, but now I can't move. And I don't know if that's a protective thing. Maybe that protects us when we're being moved in and out of a dimensional state. Who knows? And but that goes into a state of sleep because often after I'm taken, then I'm levitated, usually. And, you know, how are you levitated? Well, it makes sense if you put it into the sense of being taken into another dimensional bubble space time. Usually at that point, not always, but usually at that point, I would go into like a sleep state.

And I wondered, too, if I was passing out or if they were putting me into that sleep state, I'm not sure. You know, the unfortunate part of this is you don't get to ask them questions. You know, they certainly don't sit down with you and explain nicely what's happening. They just take you at their will and do what they want and return you when they're. they want, you know, and you're just left at their whim. And it's unfortunate because I didn't want to be taken. It was against my will. I was a terrified little kid and I was essentially kidnapped night after night after night. Yeah. And there was nothing I could do. I mean, I remember, and I think I shared this with you, when I was either kindergarten or first grade and I'm in school

and they had to call my mom to come get me because I am huddled in the corner of a bathroom stall and I won't come out and I won't talk to anyone. And my mom comes and convinces me to come out. And I, I remember just saying, they keep touching me. They keep taking me. I want them to leave me alone. She thinks I'm talking about other kids. She isn't they who are they are. Who are they? Who are they? I can't tell you who they are. I don't know. I don't have a name for them. The little ones, the gray ones. What do I call them? I didn't even know if I know the color gray at that point, you know, and so I'm trying my best, but I don't have the vocabulary for it. So she thinks I'm probably talking about other kids, maybe, maybe I've been bullied, maybe

someone's hurt me. She takes me to the doctor to have me physically checked out to see if I'm being abused in some way, and I'm not in that way, but the doctor said, yeah, she's clearly something going on, but whatever it is, she's young, she'll forget, she'll be fine, because I was clearly having some kind of a mental break. And I think at that point when I realized, hey, you know, there's no one's going to help me. There's nothing I can do. That's when I really kind of created this separation in myself.

And there was the me that lived it and then the me that lived the everyday life. And I had to completely separate those two because who's going to believe me? Even if I can't talk about them, I don't even know what they are yet. you know, for a little kid, it's just terrifying. So I just separated it. And, you know, the human brain has this incredible ability to protect you from things that are just too traumatic. And so at that point, I kind of just split. And I still remembered some of the things that were happening.

I didn't block it all out, per se, but it didn't enter my world hardly at all in my normal daily life. I just didn't let it. So you, so we talk, we hear people talk about being abused and MK Ultra and having split personalities because they, they're, the, their, their abusers are splitting their, them into altars. Yes. What you're saying is, and maybe I'm wrong, but hearing you, but it sounds like that happened, only you chose to do it yourself to survive the situation. Yes. And it's more disassociating and like a disassociative person. disorder, but not fully because I'm making that choice. And I don't think anyone really makes that choice. It's when something is so traumatic. It just happens. You just split and people split.

You hear people about people splitting into multiple personalities and things like that. And I don't know all the proper terms for that. And I am not certainly saying anything negative about anyone with that kind of a thing going on. I'm sure that must be terrifying. For me, it was just, it was saving me. It was saving me from what was happening. and it was giving me an opportunity to have a somewhat normal life. What would happen is, like I said, you know, when the sun went down, if curtains were open and I looked out a window, I'd start to freak out. And I would just have to put myself back and then push that away. If I saw something that reminded me of them or anything like that, I would just have to, you know, push that away.

That goes to that side. because it's not like it ever went away. It just allowed me to just lead a completely separate life from it. I'll never forget when the Whitley Streber book, Communion came out, and I saw that cover in the bookstore. I just about lost my mind. Literally, I had not seen, and it's not even the closest representation of what the grays look like, in my opinion.

But it's not bad. But to me, I saw that and I was shocked and just, I was terrified. I was scared to death as if that thing was going to come off of the cover of that book and get me right there. And I'm like, you know, how does that level of terror grip an adult woman with a professional job? And, you know, I think I had kids by then and responsibilities. and then here I am cowering like a little kid, you know, in my car, because I've just seen this thing on a book cover and I don't know how to handle it. Then I'm afraid it's going to come and get me, you know, and because it throws you, would throw me right back into that place, those fears. I mean, the fear is insane.

It's like there's just no way to describe the terror and the fear that comes. along with being around them to this day. That still does somewhat exist for me. And without God and without prayer, I wouldn't be able to talk about it. And it wouldn't be able to have these conversations because that's what calms me down. That's what allows me, okay, remember, you're safe now. You can talk about this. You can talk about them.

They're not going to hurt you. They're not going to hurt your friends. You're not going to hurt your family. And they still do try to get to me. And they still do try to hurt me. And people still try to hurt me, as you and I've talked about. So, I mean, the fear is real. But God is greater.

You know, greater is he who is in us than he was in the world. So I just have to constantly remind myself of that because God has continued to deliver me from in crazy situations. When you started having that, so you look at the book cover and you lose it. At that point in your life, the people in your life, did they have any idea about, so, like, social. How does that go with family, husband, kids? You don't say a word. So they still don't, like obviously now, but like, I mean, at that moment, you just keep it to yourself.

Well, I've been threatened. I've been told not to talk. Before that breakdown, you were told not to talk. Because I was trying to talk as a small child. That's right. I didn't have the vocabulary, but I was trying because I didn't like it. And I was precocious enough to say, you know, I'm supposed to tell somebody if something bad is happening to me. So I'm trying to tell somebody and no one knows what I'm talking about

and now I'm getting frustrated and that's why I'm breaking down. And so I'm trying to talk about it and they do one of these screen memory things with me where they walk me out into the backyard of my grandma's house and I know I'm physically walking out there because I can, it's cold. The grass is wet, dewy, cold. I can feel it and it's sharp and my feet are bare. And I'm walking across the sharp wet grass into the backyard. and there's a clothesline across the yard that kind of separated it before it kind of goes down a hill. And then they march all these members of my family out to the other side of that clothesline. And I knew, then I'm thinking, you know, I'm starting to think, no, because this person is not here right now.

And neither is that person. But at the same time, you're in the screen memory, so it doesn't matter. But parts of me are, I'm trying to logically think, this can't. be real because these people aren't here, right? But still, I'm terrified. And they say, if you talk about this and they spray something on the backs of everyone's necks, and they say, basically they tell me that they'll kill my whole family. And they show, they start beheading them in front of me because of what they sprayed on their necks was, behead, could, it's so hard to describe this, that what they sprayed on their necks was something that would allow them

to kill them, to behead them at any point in time that they wanted. And they showed me how they would do it. Grace. Yeah. Okay. Yes. So at that point, I'm just, you know, I'm just a little kid. Yeah. You know, I don't want to be responsible from my mom or my sister or my dad or my cousin or my grandma or whoever dying, you know, how, how am I supposed to carry that burden on top of the burden of being terrified to go to sleep every night and, you know, just all this other, this is just, it was too much. And that's when I just, I had to. I had to just separate from it. And so I didn't tell anyone, no, not for years and years and years. I was terrified to tell anyone. I was terrified to step out of line

for any reason. I didn't want to get in trouble ever for anything. It makes sense because, I mean, people who go through abuse as children often react to the abuse they went through as children as adults just subconsciously. They don't know why they do certain things. They just have always acted that way, always done those things. It's often a response to abuse they went through as kids. And so it makes sense that that's the case for you. Yeah, at all, you know, when you were able to look back on it and understand what happened with clear vision and with God's help, then it starts to make sense. and then the real healing begins.

And that's what I want for every person who's ever been through this. It's just to allow God and their community and to help them heal. The problem is we don't have a community to help people heal because it's not accepted still. Even now with the level of disclosure that we have and what we're seeing happen, and disclosure is a process, it's not an event, you know, and it's happening very much so. there's still no mention of the experiencers and the abductees. Yeah, isn't that interesting?

Even in the movie, you may see two, but you're not going to see thousands or even millions that there are. And for me, the reason is it would skew the whole narrative that's, and I don't want to talk about this too much because I know this is what we're going to discuss tomorrow. But if you start talking about people like me and what happened to us,

the gray's no longer look like the good guys, nor the mantis, nor the reptilians. And I know everyone, you know, you put them into these four categories. And now that's a publicly acknowledged thing, that there are the four categories that I've described in the book. Now that's public knowledge. You know, I was crazy for writing that. Thank God for copyrights.

Yeah, well, it's just, yeah, there's dates on it. So, you know that, yeah, right? I wasn't crazy. Yeah, you can see when the book was written. Right. And when disclosure started. Yeah, way before. Yeah.

And, yeah, I've sized, yeah. And so now, you know, if you look at people like me, people who were taken and the things that happened to us, people who are raped, people who are kidnapped, fetuses are stolen, you know, animals are murdered, are murdered, then it's impossible to make these guys look like the good guys. These are not benevolent space brothers, you know, and just to cut right to the chase, they are the fallen angels of the Bible, period. end of story. That's who and what they are. And I can say that without a doubt in my mind because I have been face to face with them. And because when I realized that, when that finally clicked into place and they realized that I knew it, the game was over for them because they no longer had any power over me, any permissions that I gave them, any fear-based situations that I was in, you know, that was gone.

Because once you reveal the truth of what something is, once you shine that bright light on it, you know, in the darkness, and I haven't seen the movie yet, but I know that you guys were going to, I wanted to listen to your episode talking about the, um, the backrooms,

the backrooms movie because my kids saw it. I really want to go see it. But to me, it's what that movie probably speaks about. You know, in the dark alone, that, they can be really scary,

but we shine a bright light on them and say, here's what they are, what they're allowed to do, what they're not allowed to do, what they're capable of, a lot of that fear is going to go away because they're just not as big and scary as they want you to think they are. Yes, they are stronger than we are. Yes, they can manipulate space, time, energy, matter in ways we can't. Yes, God created them before us. Yes, they sang when he created the heavens and the earths. You know, we weren't there when that happened, but they were because the Bible tells us. But the Bible doesn't give us a book about the angelic beings. the heavenly hosts. We don't know about them. We don't have a guidebook about them. We have a guidebook about us, about Jesus, about our world, our creation, our salvation. The rest of it, you can speculate all day and all night, but we don't know. But what we do know is whom, what these things are, they are created by God to serve him, and some of them sinned, and some of them fell. And those are the ones that are tormenting people. And if we call them out on it and we say we know what they are, they lose some of that power over us. So, all right, tell me about that moment where you,

was it a moment or was it a slow progression where you come to this understanding of what these things were? I mean, these are, this is like lifelong abusers. All of a sudden, the mask is falling off and you're seeing who is beneath the mask. And what was that like? Was it a slow burn or was it a moment where you're... It was a moment and I'll tell you. You're like looking right at him kind of thing?

Yeah, it was a moment. It was a moment where I had already, you know, stopped it through prayer and all that, but I was still working through things. I was getting to know, you know, my... The really important parts of my Bible better and working through things as friends like Vicki Joy Anderson and dealing with some of my history that needed to get dealt with.

and the one I call my handler had come back to interact with me. And I think this all happened in an astral, which always, you know, that's where we are anyway, especially that's the bubble, right? The handler Toby? Yeah. Is that his name of Toby? Yeah. I used to call him Toby.

I don't know what his name was. I don't know why I started calling him that one. Really? Okay. I just, yeah, I don't know if he told me that was his name. I don't know. I don't have any memory of how that. came to be. I just remember from a very, very young age, calling him Toby.

So he came to get me and wanted me to come back, you know, into being around them, working with them, whatever, you know, I was doing. And offered, I kind of got the offer at that point, too, that, you know, we can take away your pain. We can take away your stuff. suffering. We can, you know, give you financial, you know, freedom. We can, all these things. You know, we can, we can take care of all this. It'll all be okay. You know, and you won't have to go through all this, you know, when you're going through a lot. And just come back. And that's the moment where I finally had that opportunity to do, because I had figured it out. And at that point, I'm able to just keep them from bothering me.

And, like, they're literally up to my windows sometimes. And I feel them out there. And I'm like, no. And, you know, I know what you are. I know you are in Jesus' name. No, you cannot hurt me anymore. You know. But so here I am face to face.

And he looks sick, too. He looked different. He was this weird, almost sickly green color, which is so strange because he always just had this beautiful, almost glowing look about him. And he said he was sick and he needed me. And I'm sorry, my stomach is making noise. I'm talking about this. That's all right.

Your stomach does that when you're relaxed, I think. Anyway, so I'm looking right in his weird eyes. And I just said, no, I know who you are. I know what you are. You can't hurt me anymore. In Jesus' name, no, I will not take that deal. And that was it. Wow.

But I got to just have that much. moment. Yeah. This was the one that I thought all those years was kind of looking out for me and to realize the level of deception. You know, it's like you have this special family friend who's always been your caregiver or babysitter and you find out that family friend has been abusing that child or something. I mean, how heinous. Is that right? Well, that's kind of like what this was. You know, he was always around me. So finally have that moment of vindication. where I can call it out and say, no, you know, I know what you are.

I know who you are. You can't hurt me anymore. Wow. I've blown to him. So, like, in that moment, essentially what you did was you redirected the power and authority that these things had in your life and you redirected it to the cross. Exactly. And that's one ground in territory they're not going towards.

No, they're not going to touch it. You know, I'm like, I've been paid for and I am not changing that course. Because, you know, they're like, you have a choice. I'm like, my choice is God. My choice is Jesus. You know, and if you can do this, you know, and I'm thinking, if you can do this, he created you. Much power.

How much better can Jesus do? And then if I am suffering and I am and I'm going through these things, then God's got a reason. I have to believe that. And I know people say, oh, don't go, God's got a reason for everything. No. He really does, I think. And for me, he's always given me beauty for action.

So whatever is happening right now, I'm going to have moments where it's really hard. And I get upset. And this makes me really emotional. And it's not me. It's the thing. But I'm also looking at it as he's always giving me beauty for ashes. So how great is this going to be? Yeah.

How great is beauty going to come out of this? This might really help some people. I might really be able to do some good with this. So it's okay. Whatever it is, it's going to be okay. I believe that your voice is important because you've gone through an entire life of these experiences. You're coming out talking about what you've been through at a time where the hive mind, the collective consciousness, the cultural consciousness that we're living in is coming to this understanding of whatever you want to call disclosure being. There is an awakening happening

where quote unquote normie people are starting to talk about it. But then there's other people who have been where you were living in the shadows, not talking about it. And now all of a sudden it's becoming a topic of conversation. And they'll stumble upon people like you sharing your experience where they can relate. And all of a sudden, I think it's going to be a domino effect where you're going to have 10 years from now. You're going to have a whole mass of people who are going to be coming out talking about it. And that's one thing, that's one thing that I'm not sure how they expected to play out. Yeah.

But I believe, I'm choosing to believe that 10 years from now, there's going to be so many people that come out talking about their experiences that they're not going to be able to shade this as, you know, I love you little aliens, you know. And that book like this is just going to be no big deal. It's just going to be something that, oh, yeah, everybody writes their story about how they went, you know, and scratched off a winning lottery ticket or whatever. I hope it doesn't become normalized like that. I hope it doesn't become normalized, no.

But I'll tell you, you know, and I don't think, you know, what I'm going to write about is what I think is going to happen and what God really spoke to me and spoke to my heart about what I think is going to happen with disclosure. And I don't honestly think in the next 10 years, it's going to go necessarily the way of, a lot of acknowledgement still for those have been taken. I don't think that they will be silenced,

but I think there's going to be such a spin on it and such a level of public acceptance that you're really going to have two camps. You're going to have the Benevolent Space Brothers camp and the, hey, what about what happened to us camp? And they're going to be, you're just looking at it wrong. See, it was really a good experience It's because there are people out there writing about these same things and putting a positive spin on it.

Lots of them. And so I'm just going to be someone who's looking at it wrong. Yeah. See, I'm not saying it right. I'm looking at it as a negative when it really was a positive. Well, you cannot tell me kidnapping children against their will as it positive that mutilating cattle, I mean, I hurt animals screaming. I can't stand to hear a child cry or an animal scream because of the memories. I will not talk about this to you.

in detail because it is way, way, way too hard. But I can't hear an animal or a child suffer or scream in any way, shape, or form. And you cannot tell me that doing those things to children and to animals is okay. I'm sorry, I'm not looking at it the wrong way. I'm looking at it the only way I can through the lens of truth. So I'm not going to try to put a positive spin on it. You can't. I mean, you can, but I'll never believe that.

I won't go down that road. And some people will and some people won't. And that's what I'm really going to be writing about because what I want to do is caution people. Because it's like I've always said, you know, evil doesn't show up as evil. The guy or a woman who is coming to rob you doesn't walk around wearing a t-shirt that say it's, hey, I'm the guy who's going to take your wallet or rob you or whatever. Yeah. No, they come up as a nice guy. Hey, can you tell me the time it is?

Hey, brother, like your shirt, like your whatever, you know. They come up as a kind person that you're just. not going to suspect. And so evil is not always ugly. Evil is quite often beautiful and unsuspecting. And I think a lot of people are going to be fooled into the story that they are spinning. And they are starting to spin that story right now. And like I said, tomorrow when we talk about that movie, you know, that'll be evident. So one, I would say, if you want to understand how they can operate in a way where the abduction scenario type situation is either normalized or just like sublimatively accepted,

look at the topic of trafficking, human beings. We know it happens. And when you talk about it, the logical brain says, why are we not like every day? Like, there are dorks on the street that when approach, about all this other stuff, why are we not every day going and hitting the streets and protesting about the trafficking that's happening worldwide, over 400,000 kids missing in this country?

It's a big problem. And it's like, however, they've been able to expose the reality of trafficking, yet not get the pushback as strong as saying something that, I'm drawing a lack of an example, but You know what I'm saying? Like, there's people that go out on the street protesting about just nonsensical things. Yeah. And it's like, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, a dummy, there are children two years old being traffic and physically assaulted sexually. Yeah, do you saw the movie that, what was the movie that came up?

I couldn't watch it. I couldn't watch. It was very, very hard to watch. I had nightmares about that, having been in the situation I was in, you know, when you see child groomed like that. We are all groomed. Anyone who's taken is groomed. It's similar things. It's apples and oranges.

You're talking about the trafficking industry and the abduction industry. It is very similar. Yeah. It is literally just two different. Yeah, fruits on the same tree. It is apples and oranges. It is not that different. And people, it's the reason that we're not all out there scouring every rest stop

and every gas station on the interstate corridors looking for these kids. is because it's too hard to look at these things. Because you didn't want to see that movie because it was really hard to watch. And I get that. And as a general public, we want to get up, go to work, come home, hug on our kids, go to bed, get up, go to bed, get up, go to work, come home, hug on our kids, whatever our days are. It's too hard. The hard stuff, the ugly stuff, the difficult stuff, we don't want to look at that. But that's the earth we live in. That's the fallen world we live in. And if we don't acknowledge it,

and if we don't fight back against it, it's going to just take over. And that's my fear with, you know, everything happening with disclosure is just that the narrative is going to get so skewed because, yes, some of us are going to keep banging the drum as to what is really happening. but it's too hard. Why do you think companies don't want to publish my book? It's too hard to look at. It's not happy, safe. Let's go talk about how successful God wants you to be material.

It's raw, honest truth, and it's hard to look at, and it's hard to talk about. But if we don't talk about it, it's going to keep happening. So someone has to be brave enough to say, I'm just going to keep talking about it and keep helping who I can along the way. And I know that, you know, it's okay. If no one else wants to get behind this, I will still be able to talk to people. I will still be able to help people. I will still be able to sit there and see this is what people don't get.

Every time I go somewhere, I sit down with someone who says, I just read my life story in your book and I don't feel like I'm alone anymore. And now I feel like I have the tools I need. Yeah. And they'll get Vicki Joy Henderson's book. They only come out at night because I'm like, I always recommend those two together. And like I feel like I'm going to be okay now. I didn't think anyone would ever understand me.

There was nobody to talk to. And it's like L.A. writes in the foreword of the book and how he says in the beginning of the movie, the fourth movie in the UFO series and his documentaries. Who will listen? It's too dark. It's too scary. you know and he's not wrong he's not wrong but if i can keep helping someone then i'm going to keep doing it and even if it's just a couple of people that's a couple of people that didn't have help and so it's it's not it's not a couple of people that's for sure i can guarantee you that there's so many people

that have heard your story that will hear your story moving forward and it's going it's it's it's one of the stories that i think is just super important because of the depths to it um and and to backtrack to something we just talked about a little bit the idea of of them spinning it to be positive. If it was a positive thing, then why is it that your take of a positive thing being negative is so threatening that they're trying to kill you? Yeah, right.

You know? And so when you really just look at it and break it down, it's just a bunch of manipulation involved. And I want to take this back to some of this experience you have because I do want to talk about this underground facility stuff. of. Okay. One, going there, the transportation, I want to talk about the transportation getting there, but are we talking about transportation getting there, you're going down underground, like, in this plane of existence? Are you thinking that you were, like, in a different realm?

No, at that point, I think I was back into normal, feeling like normal. At that point, I felt normal again. I wasn't feeling that deep, low vibrational hum. I didn't feel like I was It's a really weird feeling to be in that state. And that's why I say there's a weird feeling you get when they show up. Excuse me. And then after there's like this, you just know when you've been in and out like that. It's a sense. It's hard to describe this feeling that I always knew.

It's a very specific feeling, not just like a, I think I might have. No, it's a feeling, a physical feeling. they would there were there would be these sometimes there was this one place where it was like a sloped it was huge concrete it was like going into a giant um parking garage almost but it was enclosed and it sloped down and we'd walk around and it would just sloped down until you got to a bank of elevator doors and then other times it was not that place, but you would go into just kind of like this normal. There was one that was like a brick. I mean, it was like a brick, almost like a tunnel looking building, like one of those half moon-shaped tunnels that we walked through, and then it just opened up.

And there were all these like elevator doors. And other times I would just be at elevator doors, and I don't know what the process to get to them was. There's a couple of different ways that we got would walk through different buildings. with a group of victims? Sometimes it was just me. Sometimes it was a couple of grays. And sometimes there would be other humans, other victims around me.

And most of the time, if there were other humans around, we were all kind of in the state of, I'm not quite back to my feeling clear yet. You know, so we're all kind of in like that UFO brain fog state still. And I don't know if that has something to do with coming in and out of those dimensional phases or not. again quantum physics wasn't my big subject in school so but excuse me so we um would be when i say we it could be me it'd be a couple of grays because those little grays were with me up until the point that i would get to um wherever they were taking me underground so they were kind of like an escort um we'd get into these elevators that would just go down.

And I don't remember. The funny thing about the elevators was I don't remember a lot of buttons, but I do remember like a touchscreen on not like, you know, when you get in an elevator in the doors closed, usually the buttons are on that same wall where the doors are. But it wasn't like that. It was on like one of the opposite side walls. There was like a touchscreen that they would do something.

And I couldn't tell you what they did. because I was either A, just still kind of groggy, or it was just beyond my understanding at the time. So it was, I just didn't understand. So it was more like a touchscreen, computer screen, that wasn't obvious that it was there until they touched it, is what I'm saying. I hope that makes sense.

Okay. And then it would just, you could feel it going down, you know, the unit sense of going down in an elevator. And then it would open up. And sometimes I would get into what I, called when I was little the sideways elevators and I never thought of them as anything else until my husband

brought up the fact that it sounded like I was talking about a high speed train. I'm like, oh yeah, that totally makes sense because it had benches. Because it was just doors, then there's more doors, right? You'd get out, and then sometimes you'd be in a place where there are more doors and you'd get in those doors, and then that one would go like up at a steep angle or down at a steep angle, but it

made turns, and it was really fast, and I just was terrified because I'm like, how can an elevator go the wrong direction? To me, elevators went up and down, So that one always just made me kind of frantic. And it was cold in that one too. But now it makes sense when I think of it that way. It was not an elevator at all.

It was probably a train. And then either way or sometimes when I got out of the elevator, it was into just this big open area. And that open area was like going into a giant, almost like an airport terminal or something like that. Like a big coliseum. It was just open. And there were people. just who seemed to know where they needed to go.

And there were people who looked like they worked there, people in pajamas like I might be at times, or just all different kinds of people from all different walks of light. The problem is when I would be taken, and especially at this point, I was still not super cognizant and clear. So it's hard to get to remember clearly all of the, You know, I never could get a real clear.

You want to look, it's like when you want to look and remember something really bad, but you know you're too sleepy or too, like before you go into surgery, you know the drugs are going to keep you from being able to remember it, but you really want to. You know, it was one of those kind of scenarios. And but I always knew where to go. I was like I was drawn towards wherever my handler was. And for those of you not familiar with that,

my handler was this guy who was with me from my, I don't really remember a time when he wasn't. Did your parents know? No, they didn't know who he. I just called. I just said I wanted to go see Tobe's. Sometimes I'd say I want to go to Toby's. And they thought.

To your parents? Uh-huh. Or to my grandma. And there was a little town up the road from my grandma called Utopia. And it had a little general store there. And she thought that meant I wanted to go to Utopia. And she would take me there to the, and there was nothing there that I wanted. She's like, why did you want me take here?

And I want to go to Toby's. And she would get so frustrated because she didn't know what I was talking about. Wow. Okay. And I think I would say that when I was upset or something. You know, it's like, well, this sucks. That's probably better than it. You know, if I was, you know, kids have fits and stuff.

But I'm sure I didn't say it often if I did. Trust me. And he appeared as a man. Usually in like these army fatigues. I just remember his having those boots that laced up. the pants tucked into him. I remember that. And so usually in that kind of an outfit or just a real plain beige outfit. And then I do remember later in life realizing that that wasn't his true form because he would like, it's like watching a screen change, like a picture change on

a screen. He would, it was almost like he was fuzzing in and out of that. And I saw him change into. And so, and I could tell that it wasn't him that I wasn't seeing what he really was. And so it was like, I don't know if it's shape shifting. I don't know how they do it. Okay. And they don't explain this to me. And I know it sounds crazy, but this is what happened. And a lot of what I thought I would never be able to explain is very explainable today, you know, with things we have.

But he changed. And the way he really looked, he showed me his true form. And I, because I said, I'm not afraid of you. Why would I be afraid of what you really look like? Because I'd seen all these other entities, right? I'm afraid of them and I'm terrified but at the same time I'm I feel safe with this one

so why would his true form scare me and so he showed me his true form and he was what is described as a reptilian form he did not have one of those tales that people talk about he looked more like a man than a reptile he just looked different and I

it's hard to describe him except to say that he had sort of scale-like skin and was very almost opalescent in color, really beautiful in a way, but different. His head was almost ridged along here, and his nose was really flat in. Sorry, I don't want to cover my mouth on the mouth what I'm talking. And, you know, his features were very different than that of the man. He was just, and, but it didn't scare. me. I didn't, I wasn't scared of him. Um, things happened to me later that were terrifying and that he

was a part of. And so, but for some reason, he had this way of making me think that everything was okay and that I was part of the greater good and everything that was happening was happening to be part of the greater good. And I always wanted to do good, you know, to be good. I was just from my earliest memories. You have to be good. You have to be good. You don't want to get in trouble. You don't want anybody to get hurt.

I don't want to hurt my family. You know what I mean? So I was just kind of willing to go along with anything. So it's so hard for people to understand why I would just go along for as long as I did. But when you're in that kind of a situation, an abusive situation, when you've been trafficked, when you've been groomed, when you've been taught, and this is all you know, your whole life, you don't know any different. And you don't know any better. And I had no way out. I mean, I had no way out.

You know, even if you're kidnapped, at least if you get away from them, you can tell people what your captor look like or that person. But you might not, especially as a child because what do they do? They threaten children that they're going to hurt their parents or their siblings, right? It's the same thing. But how am I going to describe my captors? Short. And who's going to believe me? Big black eyes.

Yeah, right. Exactly. I can describe them. But I don't know. What's a cop going to say when I go and say, these are the people, this is, this is what's happening to me.

What are they going to do? Write up a police report. Especially in your time. Who's going to help me? Yeah. What am I going to do? There's nothing to do. So you're literally trapped.

I mean, it's a no-win situation. They had this so neatly buttoned up. Yeah. I mean, you know, it's no wonder. I mean,

and it's, I don't know. It's just, it's such a, it's such a well, thought out, well-crafted, evil process. And it's been organized and worked out for decades and worked out and organized with a human participation. Like, I'm not talking about your participation. I'm talking about people who are

working with these entities, making deals. All that is happening. Exactly. And so it's a very well-oiled machine. Yes. You went into the handler topic because you said you were being drawn to your handler when you're being transported? So, so, like, you just knew where he was and you would go to him? It's like an imprint. You know how they say, like, birds imprint on the mother or, you know, it was, that's the only thing I can describe it. Somehow, I always knew right where to go where he would be.

I don't know if that was a telepathy type thing. Was he always there when you were taken? Pretty much. I mean, I'm trying to, you know, there were sometimes, I mean, he clearly wasn't there during transport. I don't know for sure because I don't remember every time I was taken.

But for the most part, I think so. I'm not sure. I'm not sure, but pretty much that's a good question because I hadn't thought about it, but I don't really remember a time when he wasn't around. Pretty much always there. So the way I picture this underground stuff

is like, almost like dystopian movie, sci-fi laboratories. Yeah. Is this where the baby farming was happening? Yeah, it was. There were just labyrinths of hallways and stairwells and rooms. And, you know, sometimes, yeah, I just remember going up and down stairwells and it just nothing made sense.

You know, it just felt like you just get so lost. Sounds like the backrooms. Oh, really? Yeah. It's so, that's wild. Now I'm going to have to see that movie. Just little spaces. It was, oh, it just, and the, sorry, my back is starting to give out on me here.

Do you need a break? I'm going to have to in a minute, but I'll, like, I can keep going for a minute. For the babies when I, so it was after I had lost a couple of pregnancies. And, you know, I would get pregnant and go to the doctor and pregnancies would be confirmed. and sometimes I'd get to hear the heartbeat, you know, would be on prenatal vitamins, all the things that you do. You know, you get blood tests, especially back when I was having my children. It was different.

You didn't, you know, it wasn't as easy to find out that you were expecting. And then all of a sudden I would wake up at night and be in pain and go to the hospital and there would be no baby. You know, like as I described, the one time we went in and, they couldn't find a heartbeat, so they did an ultrasound and they couldn't, they saw nothing. And they're like, ma'am, are you sure you were pregnant? You know, and I'm like, yes, here's my, you know, doctor's information. Here's all the stuff.

I've already had all these appointments. Absolutely. It's confirmed. And so they did what's called a DNC where they clean out your uterus in case there's any fetal tissue. You know, to get out the fetal tissue that would be left behind that could cause problems. and it's not actually something they recommend doing for young women, and I've had several of them, and it can be dangerous. But there was no fetal tissue, nothing.

And they said my uterus was just clean. There was nothing in there. And they were shocked. They were like, you know, how could you be pregnant when there's not even evidence of anything in your uterus? It was, you know, and I'm trying to kind of gloss over. this because I don't want to get really emotional right now. Because we've had a lot of emotion in this one.

So if I'm speeding through this, that's why. But yeah, you know, I didn't get to mourn those babies. But I knew that I was pregnant. I knew I had those babies and I was just, I wanted, I wanted to know so badly what was, and I knew in my heart that I knew because what was going on. And so one time when they took me. me and they're taking me into this area that I had not been in before. And we're walking down this hallway and it's very kind of red, blue, dark, backlit.

The lights come out just like what you see in the pictures behind us, so close to what it look like as far as the colors. And the walls are lined with what looks like aquariums from a aquarium shop. It's the only way I can describe it, the big rectangular all the way up to the ceiling. and in them are what I can only describe as venuses at different stages of development. And the liquid that they're in kind of looks like almost red in color, but I didn't know if that was from the lights or if it was the liquid itself. I have no idea.

And I just remember trying really hard to focus on what was in there because they didn't look right. But they did look human-ish. And they get down to the end of this hallway and where these, these, tanks end, there's the hallway continues, but there's a door on either side, and they open the door to the right and tell me to go in, and I'm with like

a gray in a Nordic, I think, at this particular time, and a regular gray, not one of the little short ones. And they, in the room is this woman where she's lying on the ground imitating childbirth, and she has what looks like some sort of baby

with her. And I just, I remember, look at her thinking, what the heck are you doing? It was so weird. And she was like almost ritualistically going through something. And I just remember thinking, ugh, that's why am I in here with her? You know, and then I turn around and they hand me, this gray hands me a baby and says to me, this is your baby, hold your baby. And so I take this little baby and it's stiff and it's dark. it's like almost a purplish red color and it's not what I describe when I hold my children that I have my natural children they just cuddle into me I felt like they just melted into me you know

there's just this almost where you can't tell where they stop and you begin and that wasn't happening I'm trying to cuddle this thing this baby and I know it's mine I can see I can see that it's mine I can tell it's this mom thing I can't explain to you but it's a mom thing I can tell this is mine face isn't right. Its eyes are definitely not right. And I just keep looking at it like what's wrong with it. And she says, and she can sense that or hear what I'm thinking. And she says, it's a good baby. It's a good baby. Take care of your baby. It's a good baby. Hold your baby. I think they thought if I was, maybe it was struggling. And if I held it, it would help, you know, because it was, I wanted me to hold it up against my skin. And I just kept holding it saying,

no, something's wrong with it. What's wrong with what's wrong? I remember. screaming and I don't know if I'm screaming in my head or of my voice. I don't know for sure. But like, what is wrong with my baby? And I'm like, you know, and then I'm thinking, I know, I'll take it home and I'll fix it because it's half mine, right? And so I can take this baby home and I can make it right. Because I do know that it's mine. I can feel that and I can see it. But it's just something wrong in it and something just doesn't feel nothing about it feels like a baby. But I decide I'm going to take it home. it's mine and I still have that maternal bond to it. I can feel that. And so I'm now letting them

know, I'm just taking it home. You know, we're going to go now. And I don't know where I thought I was going to go. But I'm like, no, I'm taking it home. Like, no, you can't not take this, you know, this. No, you can't take your baby home. And I was just belligerent and just upset because something is wrong with it. And I was just so upset. I mean, and I was getting overwhelmingly upset. And the next thing I know, I wake up and I'm back home in my bed. And I remember I was just hysterical because I woke up, you know, right away. And I could still feel that baby. I could still smell it.

It didn't smell normal. It didn't smell like one of my babies. But I could still have the smell was still on me. I could still feel it. And I just, I had no way to get back to it. And I just felt helpless as a mom. Because I had this baby and I couldn't do anything about it. I couldn't fix it.

I couldn't help it. And I couldn't get back to it. what do you do as a parent when you can't get to your chick kid and help it? Even though, you know, I later was able to know for sure that there was nothing human about them. You know, they may have some of our genes and some of our DNA, but there was no soul. There was no spirit that I could tell, you know, and are they redeemable? That's only for God to say. That's not my, that's not for me to say, you know, I can only go by what the Bible tells me and, you know, the rest, that's up to God. So that's not my, I can't tell you for sure that.

I don't know what will happen to them. You know, one of the things I was going to ask you, I don't think I have to, I'll just bring it up. The question was going to be, how do you feel about your own hybrid children? Yeah. I wanted them, you know, and I still wanted them after that. And I prayed for God to bring them to me. I prayed. And every time I did, I really got that discernment, no.

No, no, no. Tapping is that human mother instinct. Yeah. And God's like, you know. these are an abomination. You know, these are not of, you know, my creation. You know what your word tells you. But there's just that part of me. Yeah, that mom part I couldn't let go of. And you know what they always say, be careful what you pray for. God might just give it to you. And so he did. He let me see them. And it was terrifying. How many times did it happen to you, to recall, as far as pregnancies go?

I don't even know. I was so many. I couldn't even count. I know three that were verified. Through a doctor. Through a doctor. Beyond that, I just stopped going. And then I got my tubes tied and I'd still get pregnant. Okay. So there's three times that you were pregnant, a doctor verified, and then the fetus was gone. Wow.

Okay. I think at least. And I'm not even, yeah, but. So it's at least three times. Oh, yeah, for sure. I mean, there's a lot more than that times that. times that I would just go get the test, you know, and do like kind of the little test. Once you could get the tests real easy, then it was real easy for me to tell because I didn't

need to go to the doctor anymore because once the pregnancy tests were available, less expensive and available over the counter, I would just go get them and it would jump positive. And then I would just wait a while. Why do you think, so this started in childhood. Yeah. You're a woman now going through impregnating. them taking your fetus. I would assume not all women go through this and they just don't remember.

So what is it about you that you think that they, I'm assuming it's a DNA thing? Yeah, definitely. I mean, that's why I think it runs in families. That's why I think there are, you know, people will say that, oh, my mother, my grandmother, you know, my great grandmother, we're all taken or whatever. And people say they think it runs in families. Well, that's, I think, why. When they find DNA they can work with, I'm O negative.

There's possibly something about my DNA that's worked with them. You know, they've used before or something. So I think that's why they say it runs in families. When the DNA is, they have success in creating hybrids with a particular DNA lineage. They'll try to work within that group. And also O negative blood. I mean, we don't know the origins of O negative blood. You know, could it have come from, there's just,

so many, I won't even go into it. I actually started writing a lot about that at one point, and there's a lot more work to be done on that field. And maybe I'll include something about that in the next book, because there really is a lot to be said about that. But O Negative Blood is very unique. And I did write an article about this in L.A. Marsalese newsletter. If you have that, you can go back and find it. Or I can publish it on my website for people if they're interested, let me know. But O Negative Blood has no, is missing this protection. of protein coding. So what happens is when you mix blood types, that's why you can't mix them because they have a specific type of protein coding on them. And I don't have my notes in front of me

to be very specific about it or I would be more specific with y'all. But the reason O negative blood is a universal donor is because I could give blood to anyone and your blood cells will accept mine as compatible because there's nothing on mine to say, hey, I'm not the same kind as you. but I can't take yours because yours, my blood says, oh, you don't look like this one. You know, and it's so I can't, I can only accept another O negative, but I can donate blood to anyone because any other cells will look, any other blood cells will look at this O negative blood and say, oh, this is fine. Superior blood.

Not superior, just compatible. It's the Holy Grail. It is not superior, folks. I am not saying it's superior at all. I'm just saying it's compatible. padable. So yes, right. She's a superior bloodline, friends.

That's what she said. She's better than us. Don't start that rumor. That's the last thing I need now. Would you say nephrine bloodlines? That's what you are? Oh, yeah. Oh, I've heard everything.

You want to talk about it? I have heard it all. There is an interesting thing that happened with DNA along those lines, though, is that they've been able to identify some of us who've had these unwanted pregnancies and prove that it's happening because when, you are pregnant, you share DNA with that unborn child and a certain amount of that DNA stays with the mother for a certain amount of time. So that mother-child bond is a real thing because your DNA bonds with theirs. So you are forever carrying their DNA with them, with you as a mother.

So when they leave you, you keep some of that DNA. Yeah. But they've also been able to show and do tests that prove that those of us have had this happen, that we have DNA in us that doesn't match our birth children. or anything we might have gotten from any familial member. They can prove that this is happening now. And so all of these reports are out there, all of these things that prove everything I'm saying in this book is absolutely true. There's no reason for me to make stuff like this up.

I don't think you could make something like this up. I don't know how. I'm not that smart. Okay? I'm not that crafty. I just don't. Yeah. So, but, you know, what would it benefit me?

what could it do me? I haven't, all I've had is grief since I did this. I agree. So there's just no, yeah, it doesn't make sense for someone to do this for, you know, and I guess as I'm saying is, no, this is the truth. This is what happened to me. And I can't force people to believe it. And I'm not going to.

And we've had that conversation before. That's okay. Yeah. You're going to believe how you want to believe. But for the people who do believe and the people who have been through it are looking for, you know, just someone who understands. stands, good, then I can be that person. And I'm happy to do that. And that's, so that's the person I'm writing this for or for the person who's curious and wants to know how it's biblically relevant.

I mean, I had neighbors come by the other day going, hey, I know you wrote that book and all this stuff is out there. Can you, can you explain to me? Again, can you explain to me about where this is in the Bible and what are the Nephilim and what are, you know, and I'm just like, here we go. You know, I knew this was going to start happening. I know, right? When did I think random neighbors would stop by and asked me to tell them about the Nephlene and Genesis 6 and Genesis 315. I'm like, here we go. Here goes this. A wild ride. I was at the eye doctor this morning and he. No. I'm telling you. I was the eye doctor this morning and he's talking about the podcast. He's like, one of your reels popped up and this that and the other. And I was just like, man, this is bizarre that you go to an eye doctor and you want to talking about this stuff.

Let's talk about the Nephile. Yeah. But I mean, it's the funny. The funny. thing is, I mean, the fourth episode ever did was about the Nephilim. And that was almost 10 years ago now. Back then, it was so not talked about. Now, but you knew what it was. But it's like now people are hearing about it. And the curiosity I had back then is now becoming a mainstream curiosity. And I welcome it. Yeah. I welcome it. Because I want people to talk about. I want people to understand this stuff. Because this is stuff that I've talked about and other people like you have talked about for a while. And it's just like, it's important for, for the reason why we talk about is we thought is important for people to know.

Yeah. So it's good that people would have started if we didn't want the word to get out there. Right. So clearly people are talking about it and it's working and it's working and the word is getting out. And now people want to know what are these things? Let me ask. I want to ask you one question because I know you need to take a break and I don't know after the break how things are going to go. So I just want to make sure we bring this in for our landing properly.

Okay. But I do want to ask you that this is more of a prospective question, I think. the hybrids. Why do you think they're doing this? Because you have the idea that there's what Joel my friend Joel would call meat suits.

They're just suits. But then there's these biological creations that are half human, half not why? Why do you think they're doing that? A couple of reasons. I think that they've been trying to do this since after the garden. You know, they lost this

earth. And God remade it and then made Adam out of dirt. He made these wonderful superior beings that are serving him, right? And they messed up and they lost this earth. And God recreated it and then created Adam out of the dust, out of the dirt. And gave man, gave human beings dominion. A pile of dirt. A pile of dirt.

And you've got, you've got the Nakash. You've got Satan who was Lucifer, who was supposed to be the one of the most beautiful. All of the Benihal of Hulah, right? You heard music when he walked. Yeah. You know, what's that about? So now he's given dominion to something he made out of a pile of dirt. And not only that, but he loves us so much that he's going to send his only son to be fully God and fully man.

And for us, you know, the jealousy was already there. Now it's got to be full time. tilt. So what did they start doing? What happened in the days of Noah? Why did the flood happen? Because they decided, well, we're going to make one too. But they could never get it right because only God can grant that soul. That's what makes us so unique and wonderful and beautiful and different, every single one of us. Because we all have these amazing, gorgeous, unique souls in us that only God can give us. And, you know, that is there from inception. I remember looking at my twin granddaughters on ultrasounds, and they had different personalities in utero.

You could see their little personalities before they were born. They have identical DNA. They are mirror twins. They are identical. But their personalities are 100% opposite. And, you know, that's a soul. That's God-given. You know, the DNA matches, but the spirit, the soul is not.

That's only God can do that. So I think they're trying to mimic and create their own. And I think now they're mixing them in with humans because they wanted to destroy what God had created because they were upset, jealous. And then to get, again, you look at, you know, books like birthright in, you know, to get dominion over the earth again. And then you look at how many of them sinned, how many of them left their first estate? We don't know, but we know the Bible says a third. the stars. So he's out number two to one, as the late Dr. Chuck Missler used to say, and he's building an army. So there's that. And then also, if they are able to create a hybrid that is

not human, so it's soulless, but it's more like them, then they can infiltrate that into the human population, and they can lead people away from the truth of the gospel. They can lead to that with false religions. They can do that with just false Christianity in general. I mean, we know the great apostasia. We know all these things are going to happen. And we see already, you know, we've always seen people fall for these, you know, cults and false religions and things like that because it just is so appealing. So I think that it's a multi-pronged reason why they're doing that and creating these hybrid entities. And, you know, they've just been trying to get it right. And I really do believe as the, oh, I can't think his name, but the book Walking Among Us,

why can't I think of his name? Yeah, look it up. Thank you. Yeah, he wrote Walking Among Us is on the tip of my tongue. But I really do believe they are walking among us. And we just don't even know. I mean, I see people or I see people on TV and something like that. David M. Jacobs.

Oh, yes, Dr. David Jacob. He was from Harvard. Yeah. He had Temple and Harvard and. Because he's from Philly. He's right there. It's a smart area, right? It's my neck of the woods.

Yeah. I wish I had known him when I lived there. Same. But at the time, I wasn't telling anybody my story. But back then, he was, you know, he was talking to people with stories like mine. Yeah. And he wrote all these books about it. And he was a, you know, a respected professor, a respected doctor.

Yeah. But no one wanted to believe him. And so at the time, you know, his stories about, you know, these hybrids that are among us. And I agree with him 100%. I mean, I believe that I see them, but I'm not going to walk around, you know, like something out of invasion of the body snatchers screaming when I see someone I think is a hybrid. Because, you know, I don't necessarily have a way to tell that for sure. How do we do that? And we can't do that without becoming an issue, right?

So when you create one that looks so human, if we try to point them out, then what happens? Well, they're going to have rights to according to our constitution and all these other things, right? So then we can't differentiate against them, can we? No. You know, we've already set it up perfectly for them to just fit right in. Even if they do admit that they're only half human, they're still going to have all kinds of an alibiable, you know, just all kinds of rights. And we've set it up that way for them. They're talking about doing it for AI.

Yeah. They're talking about doing it for AI. So why would they not do it for a hybrid? Exactly. We've set the stage for them to be perfectly welcomed and at home. Yeah. Yeah. And we set it up that way.

We've made it so they can accomplish their goals. Why? Because we live in a fallen world and we have free will. And we tend to think we know better instead of just letting God lead us. And I'm guilty of that all the time. You know, God says, I've got a way. And I say, yeah, God, but I really want to go this way. You know, and when we don't listen, that's when we realize we've got to stop and listen

because God's way is always the best way. With what you're saying here, I feel like there are the skeptical side of people would say things like, well, why would you, why would Satan be so quote unquote stupid to think that he could defeat God by creating an army to combat God, all that stuff, right? But I recently heard, and I don't remember what preacher was saying is it was one of those like shower sessions where I was, I was in the shower and listening to somebody. and they they brought up a good point that for the fall Satan convinced a third of the angels to rebel against God and you think logically how how is that possible you're in the presence of the Almighty God and you think it's a good idea to rebel

but before they rebelled they never saw that side of God no there was before the reverse rebellion, there was no sin. That was the first sin. Yeah. So not being, but not being in an omnipotent being themselves, they didn't know what to expect. They didn't, they didn't, maybe they thought that wasn't in him. Clearly, yeah. And so he said, none of that's going to happen. Or even if it does, I got you back. Look, I know all this stuff. I'll take care of you. Don't worry. He might hit you hard, but we'll fix you right back up. So like, if they, if they can operate in that kind of ignorance for the initial

rebellion. And once you're now fallen state, the rebellion happened, there is no going back now. Now you still kind of have to operate in a certain level of ignorance and say, okay, we have to at least try. Yeah. Right. Right. And then look at this way. They're not dead. And we don't know if they can die. I mean, we know that there's some sort of eternal punishment. We don't have a book about them. Yeah. We have a book about us. So we have to, we are, we are, we are still. stuck with speculation about it. But what you're saying, I 100% agree with because they didn't have any repercussions to work from at that point. There was nothing to say, well, if we do this, God's going to get really mad. Yeah, like you said, they didn't know what that was. And they didn't,

and this guy is offering this, you know, the following one is offering them this, who knows what he was offering them. But it had to have been pretty good. Right? I mean, so yeah, this, This will be what will be interesting for me when I pass on is to learn more about God's kingdom. Because, you know, we are God's creation here on this earth and we are precious to him. But what we don't understand and even begin to fathom is His kingdom. You know, we're just a small part of that. And he loves us dearly. And Jesus is everything.

But we don't know. we just don't know. We don't have that information. So all we can do is focus on what we do know and the salvation that we do understand and sharing that salvation and praying that it gets through to people and that God will work miracles in their lives.

And that's all we can do. But I can't wait to find out. I can't wait to go and be with God and find out, tell me all the stuff, God. And I find myself waking up more and more saying any day now. Because I just look at the world around me and thinking, man, this is, this is getting a little out of hand.

Oh, I really want to be here for the rapture too. I just keep praying, God, please let me still be here for that, you know, or for whatever is going to happen. It's just I want to, I want at least be here for more of the disclosure and just to be able to share what my fears are about the disclosure. and just to see, yeah, what's going to happen because it's just really exciting, interesting, and somewhat scary. But times, but not for those of us who are saved because we know that we are always protected and that God is always watching out for us and that there, I can tell you for sure, there's, and from my point of view, there's been nothing that God can't conquer. So, you know, these things are no match for the love that God has for us.

and always just call on him. Yeah, and let me put a bow on that because imagine this. All our human experience that you individually went through, that I individually went through, that got us to a point of ultimate curiosity about any kind of topic and wanting

to know what the actual answer is, right? Was what you're talking about. Imagine being in the presence of an almighty, all-knowing, omnipotent God that all your humanistic curiosity, that you've lived with are so far down on the totem pole. It's just like, it's like, you're, you're like, yeah, I'm good. Yeah.

I know, I guess I see myself, get up the going, never mind. Never mind. Thank you, love you. Praise you. Praise you. Just praising and just being so joyful. And the rest is gone. Like, his presence is so overwhelming that all my curiosity is about Bigfoot and what's really

happening over in this dark corner. It's just like an afterthought. It's just like, whatever. You know? You know, all I can equate it to is in my near-death experience that I didn't, there was no fear and there was no thoughts of, of, there was no fear, there was no anger, there was no angst, there was no nothing, it was just peace and love. So you weren't thinking about, I wonder about this or I wonder about that and I don't know about this and I always wanted to know about that. None of that came into play because it was just love and peace. and so all-encompassing and so overwhelming that there wasn't room for another thought.

There was no room for any doubt or any fear. The love was so overflowing and overwhelming that nothing else could fit there. So I think for me, that's what I think it's probably going to be like. And we're just not going to have, yeah. And I think, you know, and I know that God will let us know whatever we need to know. and the rest, yeah. Doesn't really matter.

Yeah. It'll work stuff out. I think it all just kind of balances it out. Exactly. All right. Where can people get your book? Tell them about the book one more time before we get out here. You can find everything through my website,

Karen Wilkinson, author.com, K-A-R-I-N-W-K-I-N-O-K-N-O-N-O-N-O-R-R-R-D-com. Don't just go under my name. Someone already had that one, so that is not my website. You can find me on social media, again, under my name.

The website has a link tree where you can get to everything from the book, which is available right now exclusively at laMarsouli.com. You can find ways to get in touch with me through my website and through all the social media. And every one of them should have a link or a QR code that will take you to my link tree, which will take you everywhere you need to go. Awesome. And if you have any questions, please send me an email through my website. Please do not message me on social media. I do not ever have a chance to look at those DMs. So God bless you, but I will probably never see it if you send me a DM, and I'm very sorry about that.

It's just there's no way to plow through those. It's just, it's impossible. I wish I could, but it's not possible. But do email me. And if you're waiting on a response, I'm very sorry. It's been a rough couple of months, but I am now getting through my emails. So you will see something soon. Thank you for being patient with me.

and thank you so much for having me. You guys are wonderful. It's always such an honor and a privilege to spend time with you and to see you again. I'm glad we got to get together. It's been an absolute just pleasure and a blessing to be here. Thank you guys. You're not done yet. Next to- Tomorrow we're going to do a live show. But I'll tell you this, just because you bring up the DMs, just this morning, I'm calling it a secret folder. Because I didn't know what existed. And apparently it does. I don't know if it exists on everybody's platform. even when I log into my personal Instagram versus the show's Instagram, the layout looks different sometimes. So I don't know what that's all about. But I found a folder in the DMs, in the request folder on Instagram,

that's hidden requests. What? And when I click hidden requests, there's just like, I'm talking like just within this week, like 20, 30 messages. And I was like, what the heck is this?

Why is it hidden? I don't understand. Why are these hidden? Because I thought at first when I saw it, I was like, okay, so these are spam. Yeah. They're not spanned.

They're actual people trying to talk to me. Really? Yes. Oh my gosh. And I was like, holy cow. And so, yeah, to paint that picture, no, to paint that picture, the pipeline for you is the inbox for your email because that's where you're checking. I will be able to check that. I just don't.

There's not, yeah, I'm one person and I want to get to everyone. And I don't want to farm that out to someone else because if you're reaching out to me, it's because you want to talk to me, not someone else. So for other things, yeah, that's great. for other people to help me with. But for this, if you're reaching out to me, I want to be the one that gets back to you, not someone else. So please just go through my website and you can email me there.

Awesome. Well, I appreciate being on. This was a great conversation. It's everything I wanted it to be. So thank you. Yeah. You want to know? You sure you want to know?

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