The Confessionals - Discovering MK-ULTRA & Bigfoot

Episode Date: July 28, 2021

I thought it would be fun to put out a mid-week show where Joel from VanTesla and I talk about the recently released single, "Bigfoot" and how that song came together. While I had Joel on with me we dove into some discussion on the infamous member's episode, "Discovering MK-ULTRA" where I found myself in the awkward position of having to inform "Cat" that she may have been part of the MK-ULTRA program. After that release Cat and I kept in contact as she was connecting dots and finding new pieces to her life's puzzle. We decided to bring Cat back on for a second interview for this coming Thursday's member show and things got weird during our recording. It seemed as though someone was trying to cut Cat off from speaking about a certain thing. She talked about a bunch of things that one could consider heavy topics but none of them seemed to get the interference that we got until we started talking about the "school" she had to go to as a child.SPONSORSGET SIMPLISAFE TODAY: https://simplisafe.com/confessionalsGET Hello Fresh: https://hellofresh.com/confessionals14 Promo Code: "confessionals14" for 14 FREE MEALS!!!GET ACORN.TV: https://acorn.tv/ Promo Code: "tony" (Code must be applied in all lowercase letters!)Get Emergency Food Supplies: http://www.preparewiththeconfessionals.comGet Beard Oil: https://bit.ly/2FbOhN5CONNECT WITH USWebsite: www.theconfessionalspodcast.comEmail: [e-mail] Community: Text "YUP" to 844-215-0819Subscribe to the Newsletter: https://www.theconfessionalspodcast.com/the-newsletter SOCIAL MEDIASubscribe to our YouTube: https://bit.ly/2TlREaIDiscord: https://discord.gg/KDn4D2uw7h Show Instagram: theconfessionalspodcastTony's Instagram: merkificationFacebook: www.facebook.com/TheConfessionalsPodcast Twitter: @TConfessionals Tony's Twitter: @tony_merkelSHOW INTRO Show Intro INSTRUMENTAL: www.youtube.com/watch?v=kyub39AXxUw Show Intro FREE DOWNLOAD: https://bit.ly/2HxNcw3

Hey, everybody. This is a conversation that I had with Joel from Van Tesla. He's the voice behind the song Bigfoot, which is the new show outro for The Confessionals. Him and I talk about the making of the song. And then we get into a conversation about tomorrow's member show discovering MK Ultra Part 2, where we talk about all the crazy and weird things that happened during that recording. If you want to hear that show and all the member shows, go to the confessionals podcast.com, hit the join button and become a member. And when you become a member, you'll get an email directing you on how to get access to the membership content through the app from Castos.

Now, I hope you guys enjoyed this conversation with Joel, so let's get to it. All right, we got a midweek show for you guys. I don't know how long it's going to be. It might be five, ten minutes. It might be 15, 30 minutes. I don't know. But I am doing a little bit of a conversation here with Joel from Van Tesla. Joel, how are you, man?

I'm good, Tony. How you doing? Ah, man, I'm doing good. I'm doing good. So, Joel, just yesterday on the Tuesday show, we released the first time ever the outro song called Bigfoot, which was made for the Confessionals by Van Tesla. Thank you very much, sir. No problem, Tony. No problem, Tony. I appreciate it, man. I really do. It was something that I've been wanting to do for a long time. And, you know, I was just so excited to, you know, first get to meet you and have you in studio a few months ago and stuff. And then I just, I needed a show outro.

And you know what? Let's play the show outro right now. So anybody who maybe didn't hear yesterday's show can hear what we're talking about. This song is called Bigfoot. And it's the show outro from here on out. It is the custom show outro. After you hear this show, we'll get into the making of the song and how it came about. But here is Bigfoot. by Van Tesla. Let's go. Awaken from the forest in the depths of the abyss. This creature is a paradigm of time lost and time itself. It fears no one.

It adheres to no rule that man can create. It forges its own path, and yet its path remains hidden from the world. The sphere of his existence is beyond most comprehension, as it exudes its power quietly, but transcends its power quietly, but transcendent. It needs no one's approval to exist, but yet its very existence is sought after by many. It watches.

It learns. Adapt to the ever-changing environment around it, even as the environment is wrought with corruption. It battles the corruption only when pressed or for the protection of others like it. It is a mirage that few will ever understand. It's a cornucopia of knowledge from an era, long past. It's free.

It's Bigfoot. My fantasies always consisted of making it big. My soul was nothing more than a bargaining chip. Marketing is what they tell you to do and what you're willing to give. Larkin to the fullest extent. I don't wait. I shoot first like hiding on a roadian. And people don't understand me like reading anokian.

Stretch thin. Like pulling in accordion. My heart ain't timidium. All these historians telling us lies that end aside. Everything is medicalized. Politicians selling the ride. I bet him a die where the relevance lies. They're dressing alike.

Reptillions. My resilience is brilliant. I'm here to lead the rebellion on hellian, salient alien with no melanin. I'm a yeti ain't hiding from Armageddian. Come and find me. I ain't even hiding. We ain't the same. I play no game.

Find me in the woods. Dude, man, I freaking love that song, man. I love that song. And I want to say thank you so much. for making that song. It is actually, you guys made it a single for your releases, right? Yeah, I did. I know we had talked about that before when you'd asked me about possibly doing an outro song for you. And one of the things that I wanted to do when I put it together was make it something that stood on its own as well. So I think it has more of a long lasting effect.

And it will be there for, you know, a long time. So for me, that was important to not only do something Good for you, but just good day I can put out there for everyone to hear as well. Yeah, well, I appreciate it, man. I think it's freaking awesome. And, you know, I want to let the audience know kind of why I even needed a custom show outro. Now, I can go on forever using Van Tesla outro music. We can do that, and that's technically what we're doing anyways. But we started running into issues.

Right. You know, when I first started podcasting, I would grab a lot of different mixes and stuff. And I just didn't care because there was no crackdowning on that kind of stuff. And recently, I'd say in the last six months or so, we started having our episodes being pulled off of podcasts for copyright infringement. I was like, no, it finally caught up with me. And I think there's a three, maybe three episodes that got pulled off and I haven't put them back up yet. If anybody out there listening right now knows those episodes, if you come across an episode that's not in the feed, like, huh, that's the missing number. Just let me know.

So I can pull out the original production and tweak it and, you know, upgrade the outro. but yeah, that's the whole reason why I stopped playing the mashups and stuff because it, you know, it started getting flagged. And so I figured, you know what, I'm just going to play it safe and play Van Tesla music because I know them, you know? Right, right, exactly. So, Joel, man, when you made this song, did it feel a little weird at all, you know, doing like something kind of, I don't know, I feel like it's a little off topic from what you guys

typically do. I mean, you're singing about Bigfoot. Actually, I didn't at all. It was a lot of fun for me because I did keep it within the topic realm of what we come from as far as the truth of community. So you'll find a lot of lines, a lot of bars that are in there that will portray that for sure. But I did want to tie it into something that was dealing with cryptids and all of that as well. So I thought it was really fun for me and interesting to tackle that. I like challenges. So for me, it was a blast. And then when I thought of that moment, I said, you know what, I need Tony to bring it in with some narration. And I thought that really just brought it all together. Yeah, man, you know, you're always your own

worst critic, right? And I'm like, man, I could have done better on that. Like, I was like, I was thinking, I was listening back to it. I was like, man, I could have gone darker at certain points and more vibrant at other points and all that stuff. I recently just started venturing into narrations, like being a narrator for documentaries and things like that. And I was, I actually had my first job, I think a month or two ago. I did, I was the narrator for a documentary on Men in Black that's going to be coming out through Darcy Weir. He's a, he's a documentary guy. And he does a lot of good stuff. And so, you know, that experience that I had doing that whole voiceover for them,

I got used to, you know, working on my voice. I mean, it literally took me a long, long time to record everything because everything had to be perfect. And so when I was listening back to this minute stretch that I did for you guys, I was just like, freak, man, I could have done a little better. you know, but you're like, I love it. I'm just like, okay, I guess so, you know. I think that's kind of how people are. I mean, I'm a perfectionist in the studio too.

So for me, it's, you know, a lot of my stuff kind of comes on the fly, too. So any kind of like weird stuff, like when I switch to like a really low, I call it the Johnny Idol. When I did that at the end of the song, that was really on the fly. I hadn't even planned on doing that until I got in the studio. And I was really messing with some of the different sounds, with some of the Native American sounds and all that. I actually did that myself too.

So a lot of those effects I actually do vocally in the studio. So I'm always pushing myself and I'd probably say a good 30, 40% of it. I come up with on a fly when I'm in there. Freestyle, and I like it. I like it. So listen, this song's called Bigfoot. And you and I had talked about, you know, a bunch of different stuff on the show when you were here.

Now, when it comes to the topic of Bigfoot, where do you stand on? I mean, are you a believer? Are you kind of skeptic or what? Absolutely. I grew up in the North Georgia mountains for a good portion of my life. And there was always talk of things in the mountains, in the woods. If you go close to Helen, Georgia, there's a lot of bigfoot shops there, which is probably about 30, 45 minutes away from where I lived. So you got the gray smoky mountains, a lot of places up there where there's been a lot of sightings. Yeah, absolutely. There's no way that we know everything that's on the planet. I'd by any stretch. And from what most accounts are of Bigfoot, you know, it's happening in remote areas, not a lot of people around. So, you know, easy, easy for something like that to hide and stay away from humanity. So absolutely. Awesome, man. Yeah. I mean, I know you and I, we were talking on FaceTime. I think it was after you were already in Philly. And your girlfriend or fiance, I'm sorry, I can't remember. she was interested in stuff and she stayed at that one place. What was that place called that she stayed at that had some crazy stuff happening? Punderson Manor. Punderson Manor.

Because then she got on FaceTime. We're all talking and stuff. And it turns out, man, I had no idea that you guys were so into the stuff, you know, but she was really interested in it. And we were talking about Bigfoot in the area possibly. And then you guys sent me that pamphlet on Ohio with all the different types of cryptids and stuff. Dude. Right. It's pretty wild. It's actually all the surrounding states as well. It's pretty, pretty intense. A lot of different things from, you know, ghosts to Bigfoot, different cryptids mothman, all that. Yeah, I mean, Ohio, you got Pennsylvania, which is known for tons of crap. Michigan. You got what's right below you? It's Tennessee. Kentucky. Kentucky. Kentucky. You got West Virginia, got Tennessee. Tons of stuff, man, tons of stuff. So, I mean, it's a good spot to be living, and that's for sure. I can't wait until I go to Kentucky in October, man.

I'm probably going to get eaten by a dog, man, but it is what it is. Oh, you're going to have a blast. So as I hear, there's so much out that way just from people that have been out there and done things. Wouldn't surprise me if you caught something or, you know, it caught you. Yeah, well, I mean, I, I mean, I'm talking like, I'm going to be hanging like roadkill from trees. in the middle of the woods kind of thing. I'm going in on it, man. I'm trying my hardest, you know.

We're also going to stay at the land between the lakes for a night or two. And I also got a top secret mission. I don't even know if it's ever going to be anything for content. But it's something that if it's not for me, I'll probably be passing it on to a very huge organization that I've been in touch with about this whole thing. that's about as far as I can go. I mean, I just pulled everybody through like a fog, but it is what it is. You've got everybody wondered for months now. They're like top secret mission,

but never going to be content, but he's going to pass it off to a huge organization. Like, what is, what is he talking about? Like, I'm talking about something. Let's put it that way. So, uh, listen, man, while you're here with me, you know, typically if I got a trailer outro, it's not every week, but when I do have a trailer outro, I put it out on a Wednesday, a Thursday, or Friday. And this is a Wednesday. And I figured, hey, while I got you here, let's do the trailer for the week as well for the members episode. You good with that? Oh, yeah. I'm good with that. Let's do it. All right, man. Now, listen, this is, uh, this is going to be a part two interview that I did with a lady named Kat. Now, we did an interview with her a while ago. And it was a member show. It's called

Discovering MK Ultra. And Kat came on the show. And she started sharing like these paranormal experiences. and she wasn't sure if there was any kind of satanic connections. And she really kind of contacted me to try to understand what she's been going through because she just couldn't make sense of a lot of stuff in her life. And as she started talking in more and more detailed, it started, my gears started turning. And I started thinking, you know, this sounds a lot like MK Ultra. And when I broke that to her and I told her, I said, you know, and I think you can hear it on the interview. I was just like, I was stuttering. I wasn't sure what to say. I was, do I really,

am I really about to say this to this lady? I said to her, I think you might have been part of MK Ultra. And she just was like, I need a break. And we hung up the phone and we reconnected later and we finished the interview. But ever since that interview, her and I have been in constant communication. And her one friend that she went through a lot of this stuff as a child and their best friends as adults. So she actually has somebody in her life that went through a lot of this stuff with her and can vouch for her that she's not just crazy. You know, it makes her feel a little better. And we did this interview with Kat, the part two. We're planning on doing a part three where we bring her friend on as well and all three of us talk. We're planning some MK Ultra roundtables,

a lot of different stuff. But what is MK. Ultra without a weird thing happening during an interview? got, dude, man, I'm telling you, I freaking, we were rolling about an hour and things were running smooth. And she talked about different politicians she's crossed path with, her mom, a lot of different stuff, touchy stuff. And when I asked her a question about something she said in the beginning of the show about this one school she was attending and how they were putting her in this like barn or cage type situation, that's when the whole interview went berserk. I mean, it really, hindsight looking back at it, it really seemed like somebody was interfering with my, my show. Because even when I, when I was editing it,

now it's going to air tomorrow and, you know, it's all done and ready and produced. But so when I was looking at the audio waves, there was certain points when I, when things were getting messed with, that you could, you could literally see her. Now, when I record, you, I record, you, I record a guest on one channel and I'm on another channel. That way, they're two separate files. I can clean them separately. I can have a lot more flexibility with editing. And when I'm editing her and my audio and kind of making the show, I see that at one point in this messy chaos that people are about to hear, her audio that's on her channel switches over to my channel and then it starts. It starts to to record her channel and my channel together, then it drops back to her channel, but partly on my

channel, like maybe 90, like, maybe like 75% her channel, 90 or 25% my channel. Then it switches back, like to both of our channels. Then it's like 95% my channel, like 5% her channel. And like it did this for about, I think it was maybe like a five, 10 second period where it's just like back and forth, back and forth. And I'm like, I'm looking at this and I'm like, you got to be kidding me. Like, not only, that's weird, not only was there berserk stuff happening that I caught on audio with, you know, like she's talking, I'm talking, but she cannot hear me at all. And she's like asking where I'm at. And I'm like, I'm right here and she cannot hear me. Like, then I see it afterwards that the audio waves were messed with. And I have a mixer board in front of me where I split the channel. So I pan left from my channel. I pan right for the other person's channel. It's literally a physical thing I do in my studio. And sometimes. something happened where it was bouncing back and forth between channels, I didn't do that. Like, I would never do that. That's like, you know, cringe-worthy to me to make such a crappy error with my audio.

So it was just, it was a trippy situation, man. I'm going to play this trailer for you and let me know, you know, what you think. First of all, I got into listening to your program doing research on demons. And the reason was because I was under attack, spiritual attack. And I also had a big foot encounter. And I was always wondering, you know, was this a demon or is this a real creature? What exactly happened to me? So our conversation went on.

And then I told you about this Montessori school that I went to. and some strange things happened to that school. Okay, so I was tested by strange people, but not only that, I was taught chemistry, biology. They were really big into that, and by the time I was seven years old, I was probably college level in chemistry. You know, that's how important it was for them. and I never told you this, Tony, but they had like a barn, a little barn and a cage outside

that I was meant to work in many, many days. I spent hours and hours and hours in there. So when you brought up the possibility of MK Ultra, I went back and listened to some other testimonies. Holly, I believe her name is, and she mentioned stuff that I remember. One of the things she said, she mentioned white coats. And I remember being strapped to a metal table and just being terrified and surrounded by white coats.

And that's all I remember. But it seems very real to me. So let me rewind. I had a best friend that we grew up together since we were like four or five. And she went through a lot of what I went through. And it was, I guess you call it satanic ritual abuse. So one of my memories, right before I came on the program with you, I had called her and I said, Alex, I really need to talk to.

I'm going to have an interview. And I want to talk to you about a memory or the memory of a dream that keeps bothering me. And so the memory is my mother and father in the bed, and they were surrounded by hooded individuals with candles and they were chanting. I couldn't understand what they were saying. And I ran in there and they were laying on the bed and I jumped on the bed. And I was trying to shake. I'm shaking to wake up.

Please wake up. And it was almost like they were ignoring me. I knew they were awake, but they ignored me. I was terrified. When I look back at that, I can't imagine a parent knowing their child's terrified and ignoring them. It's just, it's wild. So I told her about that, and she got real quiet. And then she said, listen, that wasn't a dream.

That really happened. I was there. Of course. You know, that was new to me and I freaked out. And so when I look back on this white coat memory, I wonder, even though I don't have that memory shared with anyone, I wonder, is that real? And now I think my mind's opened up to the possibility that maybe it is. Let's talk about something that you said, two things that I'm thinking of right now

that we talked about in the beginning or you talked about in beginning. One, let's go to the cage slash barn that you worked in, is that right? And that was, was that in, what country was it that you mentioned you went to? That was here. That was here in the French quarter.

Okay. Le Mans des Anfant. It was a school. So this was at the school? Mm-hmm. So the school had a barn or a cage? Yeah, I had a huge cage. We lost her.

Are you still, Cat, if you can hear me, if you can hear me, I can't hear you. Mother. There you are. Are you there? I think you keep on hitting the, I see that you're muted on Zoom. There it is. Now it's unmuted. Can I hear you?

It's good. Cat, Cat, can you hear me? Let's say 15 by 15. I mean, that's pretty big, right? and then she had a small barn in there. Hey, Kat, can you hear me? A pond and ducks, but it was like locked. Cat.

So I was responsible for the animal. Kat, now she's muted again. What the heck? Hey, Kat, can you hear me? Cat, can you hear me? Now you're unmuted. Can you hear me? Also remembers me spending a lot of time in there.

Cat, can you hear me? Cat. I wasn't allowed to leave unless my work was done. And I remember sleeping with the animals. Cat, can you, can you hear me for a second? Can you hear me? Cat, Cat, Cat, cat, can you hear me? You're unmuted.

You just out talking. Can you hear me with me? I can hear you. Can you hear me? Cat, can you hear me? Hello? Tony. I can hear you.

Can you hear me? Cat. Hello? Cat, can you hear me? This is unbelievable. And that is where I leave people off. I'll tell you, man, that happened again. So, I mean, we like, like we wound up disconnecting.

And I sent her a brand new Zoom link. And almost immediately it started happening again. And it wound up get, it just, it goes on and on and on at that point. I mean, the episode at that point was probably, I'd say, an hour and 20 minutes in. And it's, it's an, I think it's over a two hour episode. It just, it got real trippy. And with the things that we were talking about and it happening again, it just, dude, I'm telling you, man, like, weird things happen when I talked to her.

Like, really did. Yeah, like something or someone was not wanting that to get out properly. You could tell. I don't really if you remember this, Tony. I don't think anybody of the viewers or listeners remember because they wouldn't have known. But you remember when we were talking about all the Freemason stuff and we had that weird clicking that kept going on the whole time I was in the studio with you.

Like is it always weird? Like, people are trying to get truth out and something weird starts happening. Yeah, that was for the overtime episode when we were talking about the Mason's stuff. And, like, whenever I go down this road, sometimes things get a little weird.

And I try to be very, you know, focused in, it's like, listen, nobody cares about me. Tony Merkel. Like, it doesn't matter. Like, you know, I'm just one little dork in the woods, you know? Like, there's nothing about me that's special. Like, you know, but I can't escape the fact that there are times that I talk about this kind of stuff, whether it's for the show or in private and just weird things start happening,

man. It just gets a little weird. And so, I mean, I'm really excited for people to hear this show because I want to be good. I want people to, I want people's opinion on it. The members will hear me talk about it in the, I think it's the outro, about how I want them to comment on the website and let me know what they think because I really want people's opinion as to what they think. I'm also posting a picture on the website for members where there's going to be, you know,

I break down the sound waves and I actually show them the sound waves that I'm talking about and how they can see it actually switching back and forth. I have like a whole color code key, uh, color key. so they can kind of really read the description as to what's happening at certain points. But it just, I don't know, man. It's crazy. And when we did your show with you on the overtime talking about Mason stuff, people freaking loved that, man. They freaking loved it. Some people were like, did he tell you about the checkered floors? And to be honest with you, dude, like, you told me, I'll tell you basically off air. And then we never talked about it. So do you want to talk about it now? Yeah, I do have something interesting to tell you, though. So since we did the show, I'd been in the studio twice,

and I've had two very strange things happen while I was in the studio. It was almost like something was trying to stop me from getting out what I was trying to get out. The first time I was in the studio, I got to a point where I was recording, and I was talking about God being real. and I could not get the words out for like 20 minutes. I've never had that issue. And it was like something was oppressing me inside of that studio room. And I had to get out of there, get my collect my thoughts,

a parade, got back in there and I was fine. The second time I went to the studio, I sent zip files to my engineer. And when I sent the zip files to him, he'll just, you know, unzip them. It took us an hour to unzip the files. We never had that happen before. He had to go through five different programs to try to get it out. And I felt like something was there.

I prayed and immediately the program that he uploaded, everything went fine for the rest of the session. Pretty crazy. But for sure, I feel like there are definitely forces and things that come along to stop us, whether it's the government or things outside of our realm of consciousness too. Yeah. Like, dude, weird things happen when you start going down certain paths, man. Absolutely. What did your engineer think of,

the whole situation, especially the first one, when you really couldn't say certain things. I mean, was he like, dude, Joe's freaking. He was breathing hard. He was, he was, he was, uh, he was kind of baffled because I'm very methodical when I get in the studio. It doesn't take me long because I'm pretty well prepared when I go in. It's probably, I'd say 30 minutes to 45 minutes. I can lay everything down and then we start mixing and mastering and going through that process

for the next few hours. But I just told him, I was like, man, I don't know what's going on. And he said, yeah, well, we're going. I get through it. And I just kind of clicked with me in my head. I kind of figured out what I thought it was. And lo and behold, it worked itself out. Now, the other part where he couldn't unzip the file, I mean, he was apologizing profusely. He thought it was the equipment in my head and my psychotic conspiracy mind head. I'm like, this isn't his equipment. This is something else. You're probably like, yeah, bro, it's not you. Trust me. We'll just keep working at it. We'll get it done.

that's exactly what it was. Yeah, man. Yeah, I'll tell you, man, I enjoy going down these roads and talking to people that have these bizarre experiences. And, you know, with what happened on this coming Thursdays member show, it had me a little rattled. It had me a little rattled. Right. And it's just, for me, what really kind of tipped me off that something bizarre was going on outside of the audio that people are going to hear is when I was going back and I was editing the audio and I saw the sound waves. And I was like, holy crap. Because I've been doing this for a long time. I know my equipment. I know exactly how I use things. It's, I really know what I'm doing when it comes. of recording my show. And when I saw those sound waves, I was like, that can only be possible

if I'm panning the knob on my mixer board back and forth. That should not be possible. And yet, I'm looking at something that I know I did not do. And that's when I was just like, something, something I think happened here. And I'm going to keep going, though. I mean, I'm going to keep talking to Kat. I'll tell you one thing that was interesting was she talked about certain politicians. She talked about certain huge companies in this country that she was tied to in certain ways. And none of that, none of it got the hiccups. It wasn't until I asked her a specific question about the school she went to and something that was on that property that she had been involved in. When I got down to that part, that's when things went berserk.

And it just made me feel like, okay, maybe we are touching a nerve on this one. Maybe we are. I don't know. But I'm going to talk to Kat again. We're hoping for the part three, we're hoping that we're going to bring on her friend and all three of us talk. And then we're going to do the roundtable. And Kat probably going to be somebody that we have on many times because I've talked to a lot of people that have, you know, MK Ultra pass. And Kat is a little different in the sense that she has a lot more of a detailed memory than I have experience with. A lot of times the memories are fragmented and it's almost hard to make sense of. It's hard for them to make sense of, let alone somebody listening to. But Kat seems to remember a lot more than I'm used to hearing. And I wonder if that's something

that has to do with why that happened. I wonder, too, if, because you're talking about MK Ultra, people that have gone through it, what I've noticed, too, a lot of times with any interviews I've listened to over the years, a lot of times they don't really want to remember that stuff. She kind of seems like she's trying to figure it out and piece it together. And maybe, like, her, you know, her brain is piecing it together in a way that she's able to remember it and keep piecing on and adding on more. Because you know, MK Ultra victims, I mean, there are layers upon layers upon layers.

And she may never, ever get to the point where she remembers at all. But at least she's actively seeking and putting it together in a way that comes across a little clearer than some MK. Ultra Victims. Yeah. No, I agree. She referenced in the trailer there about Holly. And Holly was another person I did a show with. Again, that's a member show. and we were talking and we had a great conversation.

And after that show aired, I was emailed by a member basically chastising me, telling me that she's lying, you know, and you're just a fool and just like going, like saying things that I'm just like, like I'm used to getting hammered at times about certain things or whatever. Right. But it just seemed like it was coming out of left field.

Like, it just didn't seem like it made sense to me. I was like, what, what are you so upset about? Like, I'm not, I'm not, what's the agenda? Yeah, exactly. And I, you know, there may not have been an agenda. Maybe he was truly a member that was a fan of the show and he wasn't anybody that was just paying me $7 to hear the episode. And he's actually working for some kind of shadow company, you know.

But, uh, it was, it was a little odd. And I say he, I can't remember if it was a he or she. But anyways, like, literally, I want to say a month or so after that, that experience, I got an email from somebody who is involved. She was part of MK Ultra. And she was, I think she still is involved in, I honestly don't know how to describe it other than it's some kind of like organized underground effort to combat MK ultra abuses. And she heard that episode.

Interesting. She heard that episode. And she wanted to confirm to me that Holly is who she says she is because she was tasked at one point to recruit Holly for their organization. And she sent me. And now, I don't know what happens. happened because she didn't wind up, I don't think she wound up contacting Holly, or at least she hasn't yet. But she sent me pictures of letters that were that were written to her and

emails that were written to her talking about Holly with her first and last name. And so I knew, I knew we were talking about the same Holly. And so for me, I was like, well, that was timely. Like I had this one person angry that I that I aired this episode. And then this person emails me and says, hey, I have, I basically want to confirm to you that, you know, Holly is who she says she is and this is why. And this is how, you know? Oh, wow. Yeah. So that was interesting. And so when I do the roundtable, Holly will definitely be on that round table. Oh, that's going to be awesome. But yeah, man. Yeah. It, listen, you live one time and you got to try.

your best of life and enjoy the process. And that's what I'm doing. So, you know, MK Ultra is something that I find interesting. It ties into with a lot of other topics, the satanic ritual abuse. It ties with the idea of the 20 embacks, the secret space programs. It ties in with so much stuff that I think that's why I find it so interesting because there's like an endless road of of trying to figure things out and piece puzzles together. And, you know, I am very grateful that some of these people reach out to me and want to talk to me about their experiences. But anyways, listen, Joel, Bigfoot, I love the song.

I appreciate you doing the song for me. It's going to be a staple on the show moving forward. And who knows? Maybe we'll do other songs in the future, you know. Maybe we'll do a song about, I don't know, Moth Man or something. something. I don't know. Who knows? You know, I'm down. Yeah, man. I mean, maybe we'll eventually have enough songs to release our own The Confessionals album of outro songs by Van Tesla, you know? Oh, that'd be awesome.

Yeah, man. Like I said, you only live one time. You got to try new things and see what happens and see if people like it. So I appreciate you coming on, man. And anybody who's listening, if you want to hear that episode coming out tomorrow, the Discovering MK Ultra Part 2 with Kat, all you got to do is go to the website, the confessionalspodcast.com, hit the join button, and you'll become a member when you hit that join button and sign up to become a member. Once you become a member, you will get an email, and that email will be titled the Confessionals members via Castos. And it will have instructions on how to download the Castos app and access all member

content on that app. So we do have an app and we're digging it. Joel, you've been on that app. How do you like it? I love it. I think I hit you up the other day. I said, man, this makes it so much easier just scrolling through, getting to

wherever you need to get to. Yeah, I encourage everybody to go get it to because the member's only stuff is phenomenal. I appreciate it, man. I appreciate it. Yeah, the app Castos, they launched that service literally a week before I started

going public with it. So like it's on version 1.0. It's only going to get better. I have pretty much a direct line of communication with the higher-ups at Castos. And we've been talking and sharing ideas, and we're going to be coming out with a comment section on the app

so people can comment on the web, or on the app. They have a really cool feature that they're going to be including in part of the comments. I don't want to drop the bomb because I don't know if I'm a lot of talk about or not, but it's a really cool, unique thing. And we're just trying to tweak things and make it better for the user experience. So a lot more updates, a lot more version 2.0, 5.0, 10.0. know. But right now, I love it. I dig it. Sounds like you like it. I'm getting a lot of positive

feedback. So if anybody wants to hear member shows, tomorrow's show with Kat, MK. Ultra. Just go to the website, the professionals podcast.com, hit the join button, become a member, and you'll get access to that app and all the membership content through the app and on the website. I'm still posting this stuff on the website for you guys as well. And Joel, man, thanks for being here. Thanks, Tony. I told you about this Montessori school that I went to. And some strange things happened to that school. Okay, so I was tested by strange people, but not only that, I was taught chemistry, biology.

They were really big into that. And by the time I was seven years old, I was probably college. level in chemistry. You know, that's, that's how important it was for them. They had, um, like a barn, a little barn and a cage outside that I was meant to, I work in many, many days. I spent hours and hours and hours in there. So when you brought up the possibility of MK Ultra, I remember being strapped to a metal table and just being terrified and surrounded by white coats. And that's all I remember. But it seems very real to me.

I wonder, even though I don't have that memory shared with anyone, I wonder, is that real? And now I think my mind's opened up to the possibility that maybe it is. let's let's go to the cage slash barn that that you worked in is that right and that was and that was was was that in uh what country was it that you mentioned you went to that was here that was here in the french quarter okay uh lemonde de jacques it was at the school so this was at the school mm-hmm so the school had a barn or a cage yeah had a huge cage yeah we lost her are you still Cat, if you can hear me, I can't hear you. Mother. There you are. Are you there?

I think you keep on hitting the, I see that you're muted on Zoom. There it is. Now it's unmuted. Hey, Cat, Cat, can you hear me? Let's say 15 by 15. I mean, that's pretty big, right? And then she had a small barn in there. Hey, Cat, can you hear me?

A pond and ducks, but it was like lot. Cat. So I was responsible for the animal. Kat, now she's muted again. What the heck? Hey, Kat, can you hear me? Cat, can you hear me? Now you're unmuted, can you hear me?

Also remembers me spending a lot of time in there. Cat, can you hear me? Um, cat. I wasn't allowed to leave unless my work was done. Cat, can you please? And I remember sleeping with the animals. Cat, can you hear me for a second? Can you hear me?

Cat, cat. Can you hear me? You're unmuted. You just stopped talking. Can you hear me? You with me? I'm here. I can hear you. Can you hear me? Cat. Hello? Cat, can you hear me? This is unbelievable.