The Connect- with Johnny Mitchell - Female Gang Member Opens Up About Life On The Streets Of L.A. | The Connect

Episode Date: September 16, 2023

Cristina Cruz grew up in a notorious gang territory of Northeast Los Angeles. At a young age she was jumped into the gang and slipped into a life of crime and drug addiction. It wasn't until she was indicted in a RICO case with over 70 other individuals that she got sober, turned her life around, and became a successful podcast host. Her story is one of loss and redemption. Support Cristina's Podcast And Teeth Whitening Business! YouTube Channel: @IndictedTV   Spotify: http://bit.ly/IndictedTvSpotify Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thelatoothfairy/ Support Our Sponsors! PrizePicks: https://www.prizepicks.com/connect & use code: CONNECT Join The Patreon For Bonus Content! https://www.patreon.com/theconnectshow Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Christina La Negra from the Indicted TV podcast. Christina embodies 90s Chicana, L.A. culture. She's a former gangbanger from a clique called the Avenues, and they come from Glassell Park, this little neighborhood in northeast L.A. that was one of the high. hottest blocks back in the 90s in the 2000s. She got indicted on a hundred man Rico charge and sent up to do Fed Time for five years. She has some hilarious, amazing, sometimes heartbreaking stories of love, drug use, and loss. But she came home, she cleaned herself up, and today she is drug free. She runs a thriving business. And now she's got one of the hottest new podcast in Los Angeles. It's all about prison, doing time. You've got to be.

to check it out, especially if you love this show, go over to indictedtiv.com. And of course, if you want to hear a bonus episode with Christina and you're going to want to because we love this girl, go over to patreon.com slash the connect show. All right, let's get into the episode. I hear like a boom, boom, boom, boom. Mind you, I live on the second floor. So I look outside my window and I see like, smoke. Everybody's getting raided at the same time. I'm like, what's like, what am I getting charged for? And they're like, you are getting requital. That's when I see lights behind me start to flash. And I didn't even think, I just hit it.

I was driving like my life depended on. Then I parked the car, hopped out, closed the door, and I started running. And he pulls out a burner, shank. It's like six inches. And he passes it to me. And he goes, here, that's yours. Don't ever leave the cell block without this. He was the reason I made it out of that place alive.

Prestina La Negra, Kitierrez, Orrigue, Oreguelo. How much? Good. I'm just kidding. How many names, how many last names? I just have, I have just Christina Cruz. Okay, cool. Nice to meet you, Christina Cruz.

Likewise. Thank you for coming on the show. I know we filmed this new YouTube channel that we're getting ready to launch. That's how we met. And I found you a fascinating character. And now you have one of the hottest new podcasts coming up, which you guys have to go check out. Tell us the name of it. Indicted TV, guys.

Yeah, it's really, it's really a great model for like building. a podcast. So we really, I want you guys to go check out Indicted TV. You know, you're from Los Angeles. You're from my favorite era in American history and L.A. history, the 1990s, a long lost, but amazing decade. Yes. Okay. So let's start from the beginning. Well, part in the beginning where I was born. Yeah. Okay. Well, I was born in 1982. I will be 41, just so you know. Yeah, fucking looking great though, girl. Yes. Keep it up.

He putting that fat on. Do you put the grease on your face? I don't do shit, to be honest. I barely even wash it. Now, I'm just kidding. So, no, I was born in 82. I was, my parents had me when they were, my mom was 18. And my dad, I believe, was 20.

They are from Niyadi, Mexico. And they came. You know, they crossed. Well, how old were they when they crossed? They were 18 because they just, they came. And then she got pregnant right away, obviously. You're the oldest? I'm the oldest, yeah.

And I was born, like, in around, actually, right down the street. This is where I grew up kind of right down the street, not too far from here. South Central. South Central. Okay. I didn't want to say. That's okay. It's a big neighborhood.

So, yeah, my parents were there. So I think I was like five years old, and we moved to Hollywood. My dad worked for Paramount Pictures. So. What did you do for Paramount? He worked in the kitchen. He was a chef. and um did your parents cross illegally or did they have paperwork no they had uh passports okay real

passports not those ones you could buy from the tienda okay cool how did they get that i don't know i think it was easier to get a visa like way back then because he's had it since he was a kid right it was for sure especially because my my dad lived in tecate which is tecate baha right on the border Right, literally on the border. So they literally like, the border was here and they lived like a block away. So I think it was very easy for them before. Just show them. I don't know.

Yeah. So, yeah, we lived and we moved to Hollywood. I went to kindergarten there. I only remember going to kindergarten in Hollywood. And then we moved back to exposition and Martha Luther King. And my parents got divorced. Right when we moved to. back to South Central. Do you have brothers and sisters?

I have one sister. She is 36 for my mom and my dad. My mom only had two girls, which is myself and my sister. My dad remarried and I have, um, my dad remarried and I have a brother, I have a brother and a sister, but they were much younger. My brother's going to be 22 years old. Oh, wow. Okay. Yeah, so much younger. I love my, my little brother and my little sister. But, um, yeah, my parents got divorced. And once my parents got divorced, I moved to a glass cell park. That's right. And that is the neighborhood that we filmed in. Yes. And in a tiny little six block little square is what's known as the avenues. Yes. And tell us about the avenues how it was like back in the day when you moved there. So I was like, I believe I was like eight years older, nine, the oldest, because I know I was just starting

grade. Okay. And I still remember the same day we moved in. We lived on Andreda Street, which was, so where we lived, it's like the Fletcher Drive, because it's Fletcher and Sanford on the road. So it's Fletcher, Andrida Street, Drew Street, and then Chapman. Yeah. And I remember looking, because I lived in a two-story apartment, and I remember looking out the window, and I seen like a big old crowd of guys, you know, ballhead. And, um, I remember looking at, because I lived in a two-story apartment. And, Cholos. Cholos. One thing I didn't mention was like when my parents were still together, my aunt, which

is my dad's brother, my dad's sister had seven boys. Ah, so you got a lot of cousins. I have a lot of boy cousins. Okay. And my boy cousins are from dead and harpies. And that is a gang. I'm here, I believe, in South Central or like this side, right? And I would see them outside with their friends and...

So they would come up to the avenues and kick it? No, no, no, no. this is me with my parents were still together. Gotcha, gotcha. So my aunt used to babysit me. So obviously I'd seen all my cousins and my girl cousins

will like do feathers on me and they were by me like the little booty socks. So I was always like, I always thought it was cool like to be a gang member. Right? Always.

Like I always wanted to be a gang member because my cousins, they're my fucking cousins, right? And. Now, back then, to you, what did a gang member mean? Well,

it just meant like you have this, You're from this group where they're all your friends and you're just hanging out with your friends outside. Obviously, I've experienced a drive-by because this was like in the 80, like early, maybe like 90 or 89 years. You know what I'm saying, 1989 or whatever years? But it was like way, way, way, when I was young.

Do you remember the first drive-by shooting you saw? Yeah, well, we were inside my house and my cousin, he's a big boy, right? So they started shooting and my aunt said, Tirense, like throw yourself, right? And my cousin, my cousin, he's a big boy. So he threw himself and then he was like, I was so funny because I remember like him like kind of rolling

and he's only like two years older than me. So we were kids. We were like five, six year old kids just like experiencing these things. So obviously this was like 89, 1989, 88, whatever, you know? And that was like my first experience. And not that it's like traumatized me because I probably never even thought about it again. But I just didn't remember my cousin's outside playing. Not playing, but hanging out with their friends, you know.

Yeah. Looking cool. Yeah. You know, they didn't, they weren't bald before they had like the, yeah. Homeback with the duct towel. Right. Okay. Yeah, that, that look, that classic South Central L.A., Chicano, Cholo look.

When did the bald head become popular? I think maybe like a night, like in mid-90s. Yeah. Yeah. Because it was always the slick back. Because Mexicans have the best hair. You see a 70-year-old Mexican man. You got a hair line that starts at his eyebrows.

So you guys used to, they used to slick it back with the three flower stuff. That's right, right. And then everybody started going bald, shaving the head, which probably started in prison because it's so stressful in there. Everybody's bald, you know. But the drive-by shooting was, people don't understand that are younger in L.A. The drive-by shooting back in the 80s and 90s was what school shootings are today. There's a protocol like grandmothers would know to tell their kids,

when you hear shooting, throw yourself on the ground. Yes. Because it affected everybody in those neighborhoods because they would come by and spray and hit houses that had nothing to do with it. Yes. Did bullets ever come into that house? In the house. Yes. I believe that they did.

Obviously, thank God nothing happened. Yeah. Whatever. Were they targeting your house? It was my cousins. They were coming to see my cousins. And your cousins were in your house. Yes.

They were outside. Oh, wow. Because my aunt's house was the spot where everybody. Everybody can. Yeah. Do you remember, like, did anybody get hit? outside and your cousins get hit? I don't think so.

Because I don't think so though. Because I would have remember that's like a big thing. Like my god, they might have somebody that kills somebody outside. Yeah. But obviously that didn't happen.

Do you remember anything else about your cousins when you were a little kid like any kind of criminal activity? Like what stands out to you about what they did? Honestly, basically just them just staying outside.

Like I don't ever remember them doing any kind of criminal activities. Drinking 40s though? I don't know if they drank 40s then. Did they drink 40s? I mean, we assume, I assume that... I don't know, to be honest, maybe like smoke weed the most, but I was so young, I don't remember.

Okay, okay. So now we're, but now we've left South Central and we're in Glass-South Park. Yeah, my parents got divorced. Yeah. And the guy, my mom started going out with after my parents were divorced, his mom and his stepdad lived on Chapman, which is the third street right where the cemetery is. That's right.

You know? In the avenues. Yes, in Glacisale Park. And we moved there and this man was a crackhead. And my mom had no idea. Oh, you hit the boyfriend, her boyfriend. Yeah. Smoking crack.

Smoking crack, especially in them days. He will leave. And mind you, well, back to my first day, me living there. Like I could look outside. There's like 30 guys, girls outside and I'm like, man, one day I want to be there. You know. Because it looks fun, right? just look cool, you know, and there was like a fight.

I don't know. I remember, though, you know? And it's just, as time went, like, you know, all my neighbors were my friends. Yeah. And we were just hanging out playing outside. Yeah. Yeah. It was nothing new, but, you know, they were still there.

Mm-hmm. You go to school and, oh, hey, that's my cousin. Or, hey, not my cousin, but like my friend's brothers, my friends' cousins and things like that. Right. You know what I mean? Mm-hmm. I didn't have no family.

I still don't have any family that's actual, like, that's, you know, like a- You didn't have a big Mexican family. Well, I have a big Mexican family. But not immediate family, though. Yes, immediate family, but no gang members besides my dad's nephew. Right, right. So when you're walking to school as a little kid, are you passing by groups of these big cholo dudes? Yeah, well, maybe not big, but like, you know, to me they were big.

Like, you know, like, I thought it was cool. I would see them. I would like, I thought I was fascinated by it one day. Right. And what day was that? What age were you when you finally left the stoop, so to speak, and hit the street? Well, I was in the seventh grade. So it's like, you know, you go to junior high.

We're all going to junior high, all my friends. And we're from, you know, that area. And we know what gang is there. So it's like, you know, where it's like a clique, Drew Street, you know? Right. And we're all elementary junior high. We're friends or brothers are actual gang members from the avi. and we just looked up to them, you know?

And they're all Latinos, these guys. And they're from Guerrero, right? A lot of them are from Guerrero. Like a lot of them that are from Drew Street, because, you know, Drew Street is, like, they're all from Guerrero. Yeah, that's really interesting. So you go, we drove up this long street called Drew Street

and all of the families, many of them still live there today. Yeah. They come from Guerrero State in Mexico. Yes. And you saw, they still remembered me. Yes, yes. All the ladies. Totally.

The Tamale ladies remembered Christina. It's fascinating. Honestly, it was really, I thought it was so cool. It was like perfect timing. It's not, I mean, I go there all the time. But it's like, oh, I haven't seen them in a few months or because I haven't gone maybe like whatever prior to us going, maybe like four months. So I thought it was like so cool.

It was like perfect timing while we're filming that these ladies are there and they're like, hey. Yeah. It just fits so like perfect. That was really sweet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So when did you start getting into trouble? When did you start going hanging out on the corners with the clicks?

Well, I didn't start really hanging out in the. according with the clicks like that until, because we got jumped into Drew Street when I was in seventh grade. You got jumped in? Yes. Tell us about getting jumped in. So it was two girls and two big girls, right? But they were like, no, she's like, we got to get you again because we didn't get you good.

Like, bro, you guys are too big as fucking girls. I'm all small, you know? But whatever, we were still friends. Like, those were my best friends. Like, so from then we will. And they started punching you? Yeah, we fought, you know? Right, right.

So where did, so did you? get any licks in back or did they just beat you down? No, they didn't be, leaving me down like that. I would love to get jumped in by girls. Hey, bring four of them. I don't give a shit. It wasn't like that, you know?

So from that day on, obviously, my, I started changing. Like, you know, I kind of wanted to start dressing a little different, you know, like, I started coming home a little later. I would hang out with her a lot more because her family, like her brothers and like, you know, like they will go to the movies every Thursday. All the game members will go on. Thursdays, we started going with them, like, just things like that. Yeah, right.

You know, because keep in mind, I'm still young. Right. You know. You're a middle school still. Yeah. So I get to high school, the ninth grade. I started, we graduated junior high, whatever, eighth grade. And I, we get to, I go to Eagle Rock High School.

Mm-hmm. I know the gang ones. And then. It was Eagle Rock High School. Was that a gang high school? I know. Franklin was a little more of a gang high school. But that was kind of a more like, it was more like party crew days.

You obviously have your gangs, but for Eagle Rock, not as much because there's kind of only like Avenue. You know what I'm saying? You don't have like one Highland Park or whatever. But it wasn't like that. Like, at least for me in the ninth grade, it wasn't like that. Like, those are all still my friends. But I got more into like the party scene hanging out with the seniors. Because in the 90s, it was like a major party scene like house parties.

Yeah. I'm a freshman and I'm kicking it. I'm hanging out with the, with the seniors. That's a big deal. Oh, no, I was fucking super cool, right? Yeah, yeah. But keep in mind, I still go home and these are still my friends outside. You know what I'm saying?

And my friends outside now, now they start getting into the game. They're still my friends. Like, we're still homies. Like, I'm still from Drew Street. Like, you know, it's me. And I start going out more, more, more, whatever, whatever. So now I start hanging out with this other girl. and I start using drugs.

Smoking weed. No, meth. You just went straight to meth? No, I started smoking primos with my, with my little homies. Tell us what primos are. Yeah, primos are crack and weed.

Wow. Yeah. Wow. So how do you even roll, how do you even roll back? I remember back in the day, we tried putting, we used to sell Coke.

We would try to like sprinkling it onto a blunt, but it wouldn't burn. You probably sprinkle too much coke. I don't know, but it didn't do anything to us. But Coke, The smoking crack is, when you smoke it, is completely different. So how do you smoke a primo though?

Do you put... Okay, so we will break up the weed and just put a little bit of weed on the joint, like on a zigzag. I didn't smoke blends. On the zigzag and then, you know, get a dollar, crush up the rock. Wow. And with the key, you know, you just sprinkle it. So you would go buy a crack rock?

Well, yeah, we were on, you know, we were in the block. A 15-year-old girl, a cute, little sweet, adorable Mexican girls. like doing their thing. Like selling dope. Yeah. Okay. Gotcha. So your, so your female friends are already like hustle. I didn't really have too many female friends like that. Okay. So your guy friends are out there. Yeah. We're going to school and we live in the same area. So it's like, hey, you got, what? Right. I got, I got, you know, I got the wheat. I got the crack or I got the shavings. You will say shavings. Because we would get it from like the brother. And he would just have like a whole sack. And we were just going pinch it. Like you just go and pinch his brother's

Take the shake. Yeah. Take the shake. Exactly. So we would just have like a hole and we would just get the dirtiest weed. Yeah. Because you know, like before like Arizona weed was like the good weed. Like, you know?

So we would. So you take the dirt, the Mexican bud. Yeah, the Mexican bud. Wow. So that was the first time getting high was a primo? No. First of getting high was weed. But I don't feel like it really affected me like even did anything to me.

Wow. So you got into hard drugs quickly. Yes. So I was, I was, I was in the 10th grade. So you would smoke a prem. crack and then go to school or smoking at lunch. Yeah, or not come back. We would ditch me and this one friend of mine.

She's still my friend. She's the first time. The first time I went to June O'Haw was with her. She's still my friend and she's the one that introduced me to fucking met that fucking bitch. Memorial Day weekend is almost here and it's time to kick off summer right. When I'm getting ready for the first big weekend of summer, total wine and more is my go-to. especially when I'm firing up the grill with family. I'll grab refreshing beers, easy drinking wines,

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Okay, so. You never forget. forget the friend that introduces you to meth. No, it wasn't even, like, it wasn't even supposed to happen that way. Like, now, did you smoke crack rock by itself before you got into meth? No, I never smoked crack by itself. I never, like, free base. Was that, was that a stigma? Because by the 90s, being a crackhead is already an unacceptable thing in, in hood culture, like in rap. Like, oh, base it as fools, like, exactly. No, like, it's not okay. So, so that was, that was still not okay to you. Like, homies will get hooked, hooked on it, and they were, like, hide.

Like, they wouldn't come out and hang out with us anymore. Even though we're smoking primos, like, a gang of us. Like, we'll make, like, little circles, like, three of us here, three of us here, or four, or, like, we'll make little groups, you know? Wow. Because one, Primo is not enough for, like, 20 people. Like, nah, if you don't pitch in, you ain't smoky. You know?

And we'll make, like, little groups like that. So the way most high schoolers have blunt sessions, right? Where everybody chips in $2, you get a, you know, $10 bag of a week. for the crack. You're patient for the crack rock to the shavings. Yes, exactly. And this is me in continuation school. Like I remember,

I was going to Highland Park continuation is when I used to smoke way more Primos. Like, that was the era of me smoking Primos, which is me in ninth grade, 10th grade. So, okay, so you got kicked out or dropped out of Eagle Rock. I got kicked out of Eagle Rock High School.

I only did like probably half of the ninth grade. And then I went to Franklin. And now we're getting ghetto. Franklin's a little more hood. Exactly. You know, now I'm really ditching hardcore, like just ditching, ditching, ditching, ditching, ditching, so when I was going to Huyen Park,

when I was going to Franklin is when I got in trouble. Like, we got arrested for GTA. We stole the pizza man's car and his money. Me and my girlfriend. How did that? What happened? Oh, we were with these two guys. always are some fucking guys, right?

We weren't even on drugs. We were sober. We were like, hey, we need to get some money because we were going to go to a party, like to a party, like one of those house parties or whatever, you know? And we go to like Glendio Hills.

You know how right there that's like, you can't really like, there's only like certain ways to exit. Sure. The private little areas or whatever. So we saw a pizza man and we got a bag and we're like, give us your money and the car. Oh, you pretended like you had a gun.

Yeah. I mean, we didn't. And she got on the driver's side and I got on the passenger side. And it was like literally burning my fucking legs. Like the chopper came. They thought it was like four guys. And it's like literally my friend with this big ass fucking hair because she's Puerto Rican and Cuban, right? And me, right?

If I saw two little 15 year old girls trying to stick up my pizza route. Well, first of all, what kind of pizza was it? I think it was probably Domino's. Yeah, our pizza hut. Who know? Probably Pizza Hut. Pizza, it's fire. Yeah, probably Pizza Hut.

Wow. So you, that's some gangster shit as it's two sober chicks. Yeah, we weren't even on drugs or anything. And you just needed a ride to the party. Yeah, we just wanted it. We were just bored. Wow. Like, who the fuck does that? Yeah, I'll say. You know?

So I'm trying to figure this out is, is, so you guys, so they sent the helicopters over? Choppers, we were kind of, it wasn't even a high speed chase because we weren't even on the road for like three minutes, like max. She's like, what should I do? Right. I was like, I can pull over. I don't know. You know, they put it, get out of the card. You know, they put you down.

You know, walk backwards. Wow. You know, like the whole. They really drew down on you. Like it was like you were some real gang members. Yeah. Wow. And keep in mind, I've never gotten in trouble with any of my homies like that.

Besides my, the big federal case. Yeah, of course. But other than that, like, I've never, like, it was always me on my own, doing my own shit. So what happened? They sent you to obviously. Okay. So we got arrested. say we go to, uh, we go to central juvenile home, which is Eastlake. They take us in, uh,

we're there for like 30 days. Wow. That's a long time. Yeah, no, it was our first time she was crying the whole time. My friend, right? I always fucking make fun of her still. Uh, she was crying for her mom. And this time, like, our parents were able to come visit and bring us our hygiene. Now, I don't think they could do that, you know? But, um, it, for me, it wasn't like, oh my God. You get what I'm saying? Like, it just kind of, like, it just kind of, you know, like, it just of made me more like, where are you from more? That was like a stripe. It was more like, because when you go in,

they're always gonna ask where are you from. Like, it's just the way it goes. And now you're like, I'm from Drew Street. I'm from Drew Street. I'm from Drew Street. I'm from Drew Street avenues, right? Yeah. But it's just the way it is.

And it's like, from then it just kind of like got more intense and more intense. Yeah. So you, now I didn't even go home. Well, I got out and I went home, obviously. But now I didn't hang out with my girlfriends. Now I was like. Now you're fully in the street.

Yeah, because I saw the homies in there. Like now it was like more. And all the dudes from the avenues from Drew Street heard that Christina got locked up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, where does Negra come from, by the way? My mom. Okay. Yeah, my mom called me Negra.

So like my homies were like, you're Negra. Mm-hmm. Yeah. It's just what it is. Yeah. So they found out Negra came home and they were probably patting you on the back. Like damn, dick, you know, what the fuck? Like, because he didn't talk like damn whom's like, no.

It was like, damn dick. Like, the fuck happened, you know? Like, dig, you think you're all fucking cool now, huh? You know, like shit like that. So you were almost proud of it. Yeah. Wow. So just based on the area where I lived, right?

I was already automatically like part of like the gang. Right. So now you're in the system as a gang member because you're from a gang set. So yes, actually tell us about the LAPD gang units back then. Was crash still around? Crash was around. I had a, I had two, if you know, you know, like in these years, like in that Avenue area, like that area and that, those years like you had, Casilius, he was like a gang unit. He was my probation officer.

And then you had Tim Brown. Tim Brown was my probation officer as well. He was a gang unit. And this old white man used to walk around with a cane. Like, he was just like, if it was Tim Brown out, everybody was inside. Because he was going to put you away if you were violating. Like I got violated just for being in my front yard with my neighbor from across the street. Right.

Things like that. You know what I'm saying? I remember one time I was supposed to be home. I think I was on probation, obviously. I was supposed to be home like at six or five when I wasn't and nobody was home, right? But I'm walking and I see Tim, Tim Brown and like the gang unit coming out of my house. and there was nobody even there, like, like, let themselves in.

Like, you're literally going to go look for me because I'm not home. And you're coming out of my house. Yeah. Point is they waited, I got violated, and I went back to juvenile. How long do they send you back when you violated? I think I only did like three months.

That's old. What are you talking about? No, I think it was like, no, like three months. So you did triple the time you actually did for the charge, for the crime? Yeah. Wow. So you're out of school.

School's done. because you're in jail. Yeah. And then you're getting in trouble and you're going back to jail. Yeah. And this is also the era where the gang you will come by

and they put everybody up against the wall. There's no, they had no regard for like rights or probable cause. Nothing. And most of the people on Drew Street were probably on paper, right? Everybody had felonies. So you couldn't, if you were associating with another felon, that's technically a violation of your parole. Exactly.

That's just your neighbor. Exactly. So. That was like the hardest thing. What? What was? To be, like, to go through that, like, to be like, okay, me in the back, Dick. Like, we're going to blaze, but we're going to blaze it in the back.

Like, we can't go to the front. And we're, like, literally, like, neighbors. Yeah. You get what I'm saying? Yeah. Yeah. So, uh, so at this time you smoke meth. Yes, I started some, okay, I remember the set.

The beginning of a long journey. We were at a barbecue. It was like, Baja Sundays or something. And, um, they had like the, What was it called? Chalk butter or something. It was like the speed. Oh, I don't know this.

I'm not aware of this. It's a mix of something? Like it's a mix of meth and something else? It's speed and meth or meth and speed, whatever. I don't fucking know, right? But it was like brownish. Okay. And I remember doing the line in the fucking bathroom.

Ooh. Sounds yummy. I, like, I still remember just like feeling hot. And it was just like, all happy. Right. Way better than crack. Oh, yeah.

Way fucking better than crack. I was just happy, like, full of energy. And I'm a energetic person. It's just my, it's just how I am, right? Like, I'm just all over the place. And we were, and I just stopped dancing for like 24 hours probably. Just like that? Nah, it was probably like to some deep house or whatever.

I don't know, but I still remember, you know, we're hitting the gnaws. And I'm since. The nods tanks. Yeah. Since that day. Like, I just, I don't think I ever stopped probably using meth. But now I used everything. So you're smoking.

And I'm like 16 years old now. Wow. And are you selling drugs at this point? No. Okay. I don't think I sold drugs until I probably after I had my son. Gotcha. So we'll get, we'll move up to that.

So you're, you're just, you're, you're, you're on the fast track to no place good. Yeah. Right? You're 16 years old. You're smoking primos, weed, meth. everything. Are you, do you start smoking meth or are you just snorting it? No, I started, I started snorting it and then I started smoking it.

Okay, and you found smoking was a more intense high? Yes. Yeah. Were they selling it on Drew Street by now at this point? Yes, I believe so. But I didn't really get high with them yet. Why? Because I was out in the bout, like, partying with dudes, with girls.

Like, you know, once you get into a certain, like, when you're in a certain, like, mode of getting high, like, you don't want to just be there. Or, like, I'm partying with the girls. We're doing things. We're just not like. So you're from a, what, what's your mom thinking? What is your father who's not living with you? So my mom, obviously I'm her oldest daughter.

She's seeing me that I'm just like deteriorating. Like, just, she's losing me, you know. I'm in and out of jail, literally in and out of jail. She would see my skin and like, tell me like, hey, you're not okay. like I would fall asleep with beer, my hand, like, just not okay. Yeah. I would have to, I would be coming home like six in the morning and I got to go to school at eight.

Just things she will text, well, not text, because we didn't have text. Right. She'll page me. I wouldn't respond. Like, you know, I'm now, I'm just hanging out with, you know, just hanging out. With whoever, kind of. Yeah. Not whoever, but you get what I'm saying.

Are you dating boys? I'm dating boys, even older ones. Yeah, I bet. Yeah. Wow, what a shock. Isn't it so crazy how like now, this is something that... It's so taboo now. Like now it's like... But back then it was probably pretty normal for a pretty 16-year-old to be dating a 24-year-old with a low-rider, you know?

Yes. And was it kind of like that? It was kind of like that. Oh, wow. And were they fueling your drug habit? Were you also partying with them? We would just get high together and things like that, you know? Like, we and the girls will go party in different neighborhood. Like, obviously not in.

in my area, but like far with other dudes, you know? And you were probably, you were growing up too fast. You're probably making yourself up to look like you're 21. Yeah, because you're on this. Yesterday, my friend sent me a picture of myself. You're like every girl and you're like the Cholas and training day. You know what I mean? He was like a white boy.

They were like trying to rate me as shit. I was kind of like colors, right? Yeah. Hey, look at me, Pac-Man. I'm a home girl too, man. Yo, go in. Go in. Yeah.

You know, like, it was just kind of like that. I always, but I always try to look my best. Like, I didn't look like a game member. I didn't look. I just looked normal girl. To me, at least. I was always nice and clean. I always had the best shit.

What was meth doing to your skin? I would, I would take care of myself more. Yeah. Right. I didn't pick. Right. A lot of people pick when they're on meth. Did you have tats?

No. Yeah. So you didn't look like you were affiliated. No. Maybe my thug passion. On your stomach? Yeah. I got that one.

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You guys are going to love it. let's get back into the episode. Do you feel like your choice in men and not just you, but many, many ladies from that era and that environment, you know, even we were talking off pod, like your younger girlfriends that go for like,

you know, these troubled men, you know, do you think that's, comes from your father? Like, are you, were you mad at your father?

It's got to be a daddy issues thing, right? I mean, I definitely, I definitely have daddy issues. Yeah, but do you think, do you think you go for guys that are like,

your dad or the opposite of your dad? Um, I think the opposite. Hmm. Because your dad was a, yeah, his shit together, you know? Yeah, my dad's always been a hardworking man. Like my dad's, he had a passport. He had a good job. Yeah. Yeah, he's always had, he's always been a hardworking man. Um, I think it was just

my addiction, to be honest. And I like the certain look. What'd you like? I like the bald and tattoos. Ah. I like the bald and tattoos. You got to have clean shoes, you know, like, if you don't have clean shoes, I'm not fucking with you. You better have a pair of dickies and some suspenders keeping those dickies up. No. You got to have your 5-1s,

your nice white shoes and white t-shirt. Right. And you like the bald man, which God, real bald guys, not guys who shaved. I would appreciate that, you know? No, the ones that shave. You like the ones that shave. Were wife beaters still in in 1998? Yeah, but I don't think they walked around like...

They didn't walk around like that. Like now it's kind of like a, you know, they've always wore wife beaters, I feel. Mm-hmm. you were just into that look. Yeah. You were into the life. You're into the look.

When did you meet your baby daddy? I met him at 18 years old. So what happens between 16 and 18? I'm just on fucking meth running a fucking muck. I'm just on meth. Like, chilling. Whatever. I wouldn't call it chilling.

I was chilling. I was living my best life. Okay. Great. No, no, no. That was not your best life. You're doing much better now. No, I'm saying at that time, that's what

I wanted to be doing. Like everything I did is because that's what I wanted. That was my choice. So to me, I feel like I was living my best life. That was my best life because that's what I wanted to do. Not because I was thrown out there because, oh my God, I want to go to the streets because my family's fucked up or because I got to follow my family to do what my family is doing. I was just like that because that's what I wanted. And meth is, is that a stereotype yet, like the way it is now? Or was that something that was taboo, I guess, way crack was. I think everybody was getting high on Matt. Really? Really? Yeah. Yeah, because it started in 2008, that's air, but it was. Yeah, I talked to the Mexicans when I was locked up, you know,

and they're like, yeah, I mean, we move way more crystal than we move Coke. So it really, like, started to take over that market. But, but, you know, now it's known for being like in rural white trash America. Yeah. But back in the 90s, it was, it was an inner city thing. This is fascinating. You know, but it wasn't in black neighborhoods, though. No. It really was in. Now it is, I feel. I probably is a little more. Yeah. Yeah. But it was started, but it was in Latino communities from from back in the day. Wow. Um, so yeah, now you're 18. Tell us about your son's father. Okay. So my son's father, I met him, um, through another friend. of mine.

It was hers. It was my friend's stepmom's nephew. And he was just fresh out of YA, which is California Youth Authority, right? For what? He did juvenile life for, I don't know, I don't even. Juvenile life? Yeah.

What is that? Needs you got to be in there, your whole juvenile. Yeah, I think he got out when he was like 22. Then he went in when he was like 14 or 16 or something like that. So I met him when he first, first got out because he paroled to that house. You know what I mean? You know, he's bald. You know, he's fresh out.

He's Honduran though, right? Yes, he's Honduran, though, right? Yes, he's Honduran. Not Mexican. Not Mexican. Are Honduran men, how are they different from Mexicans? I know there's a huge difference, but what is it? It's maybe just the way they sound.

They just have a different accent. Yeah. Okay. Fucking Latins are fucking Latin's. To me, fucking men all kind of have the same. You're a macho man, you're a macho man. Yeah. It's just human nature.

That doesn't mean that it's okay What? Being a macho man Honduran? It's not okay being Honduran? No, I mean, my sons have Hondurian Of course it's okay, you know? He's a Latino, you're Latin.

Yeah. So we just started hanging out. He's going out. He had his job. He's always been a hard worker as well, my son's father. But we would smoke primos together too. Yeah.

And he's from Hollywood. So I would just go and party with him, you know, because now he's my boyfriend. And we started doing stupid shit together. Like, you know, I remember I got a case. Fucking robbery, a robbery or burglary or robbery. They charged it probably as burglary because it was like a certain amount. You know, like when you get charged more.

And we were, you know what? I was stealing. Oh, my God. Oh, don't tell me. Don't tell me. You stole a pizza. Now it's, I don't know, some tacos. No.

So it had a stroller. covered it like we had baby formula really well that's a hot item to shoplift though why were you stealing that because we were selling it course of course we're making a killing really tell me about this formula orange county i got a case really so you would steal baby formula like all those grocery stores right just shoplift it and then you would go sell it where a certain person like a fence they call that a fence oh i don't know it just is dude i already kind of and then he would break it down and sell it on the street? Yeah, he would just give me a certain that's not crazy. Like, what the fuck? That's wild.

That's wild. That's why. So you guys were like the wholesalers and you sold it to a guy and he broke it down into rocks and sold that shit out retail. Wow. Cool. How much can you... I'm still on meth, but not like I'm on meth this whole time. Yeah. Still. What could you sell a baby formula for at wholesale? Like a bulk baby formula. What do you get for it? I don't know. I think maybe like maybe like two, three hundred

For run, okay. For each store, not per run. Oh yeah, that's what I meant. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow, interesting. Yeah, I think, because I don't, I don't remember. You know what's wild is if you did that now, it would be like a misdemeanor.

You could just shoplift. If it's like under $900, you could just, yeah, they probably wouldn't even arrest you. Yeah, well, I don't want to fucking shoplift. No, no, no, I'm just saying like, that's how crazy, that's how things have changed, you know, they've shifted. So I was on probation for that too. Like, I literally got off the day before from,

Probably still the juvenile cases. Right, right. I was off, and then, like, maybe a month later, I'm back on fucking probation for that damn... I'm not pregnant yet or anything, you know? And then I get pregnant. And I stopped using drugs. From that minute I found out I was pregnant.

Wow. And... You were able to stop like that? Yeah. And I was living in Pomona with my dad at this time. I was going to cosmetology school. I always try to, like, be okay, no matter what. You get what I'm saying?

at least I thought I was always trying to be okay even though I was a fucking mess. Like I was a disaster. You know, I would, I just, whatever, smoking. Fucking meth. Yeah. Some fucking motel or some shit.

You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Yeah. I guess if you're going to smoke meth, you just go all the way. Do it in some dirty travel lodge. You know? Like just, oh, like, what the fuck?

Yeah. How much would you smoke in like a night? Um. If it was a good, you got 300 bucks from, selling baby formula. Ah, I don't even know. Maybe like a little tina or whatever the fuck it was called,

like, like, 80 bucks or something. But keep in mind, it was like, the drugs were so much cleaner before. At least that was a little cleaner than the way it is now. Way cleaner. Yeah. And then I used to have like this trick, right?

At least, I used to have this trick, you know, you put the, you put the math into the crystals inside the pookie or whatever, right? And you burn it. But I would put like the lighter on top. and blow to get all the nastiness.

Oh, you're filtering it. Yeah. Like, where the fuck did I even learn that shit? No, meth heads. Meth heads and crackheads? You guys are handy. And thank God I still have my teeth, right? Yes.

Oh, you got beautiful teeth. Beautiful teeth. Yeah, you quit just before you got meth face. Yeah. You know, like I feel like people that use drugs, I know a lot of comedians that use drugs for years. and some quit, but it was too late, and they got meth mouth. You know meth mouth, it never leaves you.

No, every time I go to the dentist, I'm like, I'm sorry, you know, I smoke meth, and they just laugh. Like, who does that? You're such an open book. I am so open. I'm just, you know what? I'm just so comfortable with who I am now. I'm grown woman. I'm not that same person.

No. And if you want to judge me for my past, I'm sorry, I won't see you in heaven for being judgmental. Wow. And that's how I feel. Wow. You think you're going to heaven? Yes. I'm just kidding.

I mean, you're not. That's fuck you. I'll see you in hell then. God is good to me. Okay, so you're 18, you find out you're pregnant. And this is around the time that I think you go back to Drew Street and start selling dope. Yes. Okay.

Well, no, not yet. Not yet. Okay, but tell us about how that all happened. So I get pregnant and I moved back to my mom's house, which is on Andrida Street. Still the area, obviously, I just have the area. Obviously, I just have to, next block. Yep. Keep in mind, like, these guys always been my friends.

They're my homies or my homies. Like, I'm in a relationship now. They know my baby's dad. Like, we would smoke together, like, certain ones, obviously, you know? Because he's from a different gang, and he's living there. Okay. Oh, yeah. So your baby daddy's back there.

My baby daddy's living with me. Okay. He's from a different gang. And it's cool because he's not, like, it's not an enemy. Like, he's worked. He's always worked. I think I'm Trader Joe's. Nice.

And that was that. So I have the baby. We moved to Vegas. Okay. We moved to Vegas. I'm still on, I get back on meth, the same week that we moved to Vegas.

Yeah. You're just way to have that kid. Yes. I get right back, right? Um, I had a boyfriend, my teenage boyfriend, which is,

he's from, you know, he's from, he's from the hood. Yeah. And he was, my boyfriend for like since we were like 16, 18, 19. Like, you know, he was my boyfriend boyfriend.

Like, we lived together as we were teenagers, like, like that, right? But he's in, he goes to jail and I get pregnant on him. Right? So he gets out when I moved to Vegas. So I'm taking, I'm coming, I'm taking my trips because I'm getting, fuck, I don't know if I should say this, because what if I get in trouble? I'm getting, you know, I'm getting help from the government. And so I come once a month to get my money. Right.

Right. Sure. And once a month I'm coming. But he's already yelling. I'm already seeing him. He's back in the neighborhood. He's back on Jersey. Oh, yeah.

He's back. He's back. Okay. And I already have the baby. So, and I'm on meth. And he's on meth. Okay. The guy.

Right? Yeah. And I just stay longer. Longer. Right. Longer. Then by that time, like my baby's dad and I are fighting like, because I'm not okay.

Mm-mm. I am not okay, right? So I leave him and I come back home. With the kid? With my son? Yeah. With my son. And he comes down to try to, he asked me to marry him, blah, blah, blah.

Obviously, that didn't happen, right? Like, why do you want to come and be with this person that's a disaster? That's not okay. But he's not okay either. My son's father, he's on drugs as well now, you know? And now I'm just with this, you know, with, and now, I'm being with my son's father and with him. And this guy is like, now he has another girlfriend.

I'm like going crazy on him. Like both. Like it's just a mess, right? And I'm just on meth really, really fucking bad. And obviously I break up with my son's father. The guy goes back to jail. And I'm still doing my shit. Like now I'm just, now I'm like, oh shit, what am I doing?

I need to get my shit. Now I'm, now you've got to get money. Yeah. So now I need to get money. I need to get high. I need to, now I have to pay my mom moved out. So I have to pay the apartment. So. Yeah. So you're, and that neighborhood, the avenues,

uh, Glass-Sel Park back then, it was just dope houses. It was crack houses. Everywhere. Met houses. People on the corner. Everywhere. Like there was like, uh, on each corner, like there's like five, five. You know, there's houses in between the apartments that have that, that sell as well. It was just. And what was the traffic like,

people buying? 24-7. Cars coming in. 24-7. And, you know, I-5 is right there. And the 134, I think, you can just get, or the, what is it, the 210? The 2-3-3-3-way. Yeah. It's the 2.

So the 2, the 2-10 or the 134 and then the 5. Who was coming up from, who was buying? A lot of Armenians, a lot of black people. Wow. Yeah. Coming to buy crack. Yeah. Wow.

Who was buying meth back then, besides the Latinos? Russians. Russians. Wow. Was there something about that little strip? Mainly just crack. Yeah. Okay.

So it was mainly just crack that was being sold. Yeah. It was like certain ones that were using meth, but mainly crack, I feel. Was there something about that particular pocket that made that a hot area to come by drugs? Well, yeah, because they've been selling drugs in that street since the early or late 80s. Right. So that was known as like the crack spot. People will go from everywhere.

And it's tiny. too, so you can see everybody that's coming up. It's a good strategic place for dope dealers because it's essentially a dead end at the very, there's a cemetery at the end of the block. And so it's really easy to spot cops probably coming up the way too.

You know, you start knowing how they sound, the way the lights look, just certain things. You get what I'm saying? Like, you just know. Yeah. Wow. So it's just a hive of drug activity.

A lot. So how did you get into the game? then? Just like, hey, I want to do my shit too. Who'd you go to? Like the older homie? Well, I know. I just got my own shit. And then... So did you open up shop in your apartment? Well, I was my own person. That's what I mean, though. No, I didn't sell inside my house. I would just go outside. So, but you started off selling crack? Yeah, I only crack. I only sold crack. Did you buy it already cooked up? No, I would cook it myself. You knew how to cook crack? Yes. Did you have to have an older homie teach you how to do it?

only saw one person do it one time. And that was it. And I would do it in the microwave. Wow. So you were a visual learner. Yes. So who would hit you off with powder? He actually just passed away.

And he rest in peace. Did he, was that, it was a Mexican guy from the neighborhood? He wasn't from the gang, but he was a Paisa. Can I ask you, a Paisa, what is, when you say Paisa, what does that mean? What's the distinction? He's Mexican. He doesn't, he doesn't go as a. like an essay or a homie.

He's not a Chicano. He's not a first. He's not a first generation. He wasn't born here. He was born in Mexico. Speak Spanish only. Right. So did you, was there one main pisa who distributed powder to all of the other

Chicano crack dealers? Or do they all have their own plugs? Well, if you could, if it was easier for you to go through him because he's there, yes. But mainly, you know, if you pay a certain amount, then it doesn't matter what you do. because you're paying to sell drugs. Right. How much would you pick up from your PISA? Not even that much.

Honestly, maybe like a cookie. What was a cookie? An ounce? No, maybe like a, no, more than that. What's more than an A ball? More than an eight ball is a half ounce? Yes. Okay.

And then I would just cook it and I would shave it. Uh-huh. Because it would be like, you know, thick. Yeah. I would shave it and re-cook it and shave it again and re-cook it. Well, look at it. You're a good Latina in the kitchen. Cooking. And it was just like small. It wasn't like rocks. It was just like small little dimes.

And that's just, I would just sell dimes. And that's just one hitter basically. Nah, more. You could smoke a pre more. Wow. Wow. So how long would that take you to sell? Oh, like. Did you have a good recipe? Was it strong? Did crackheads like it? Yeah. It just depends on how the badge of was. Right. Right. Right. His badge. But most of the time it was good. almost all of us had the same kind of little, the same shit. We just all posted, like we were all in different places. Like you wanted to be up to the blog.

I would just stay in my front yard. Or like, you know, it just depends. If I go to, if I go to the blog, there's like four of us there. We'll take turns.

Like who was there first? Wow. Really? Like, oh, you were here first? Okay, one,

second. So you're like the Mexican laborers at Home Depot standing around. They're like, they're standing in line waiting for, you know, somebody to pull up.

Yeah. Wow. And is it females like you? It wasn't really, many females. So you were, you were just there with other men posted up with crack. Yeah. Ready to serve. Maybe like one or two here and there, girls. But no. What were your shifts like? Whatever time you got there. It's on you. When did you go though? When was your busiest hours? At night when I had my sister to watch my son. Wow. How much would you make a shift?

Not that much. It just depends on me. Because remember, I'm a meth head too now. So I'm smoking. I'm buying. Meph as well. So it would come home with like $3,400 max. How long would that take you? Maybe like two days, a day. Just depends on the night. Right. Or on me.

Yeah. So that's about $400, that's 40 sales. Yeah. Which back then, that's enough to get you fed time, you know? Yeah, exactly. Especially with the crack laws back then. So that is pretty wild. And it's like all of us.

No, this time when I, this time, I'm already like, um, 23. Okay. Gotcha. Gotcha. So you're a grown-ass woman by the way. Yeah, I'm already. Could be a grandma. No.

Joking. No, gross. I still don't want to be a grandma. Yeah, I'm not ready for it. Yeah, you'll grow into it. You'll get ready, you know. Yeah. Your son doesn't have kids?

Your oldest son? No. My son is not even like, um, well, I mean, he does. He's had a girlfriend. But right now he's just like, not caring for girls. He's just working and just doing his thing. Good.

Good. Girls are gross. Focus on what's important. If you have a girlfriend, cool. You know, I would love for him to have a girlfriend. It's just whatever happens happens. You know, he's a good boy. Good.

Good. Yeah, he's not going to be selling crack. Definitely not. Definitely not. So this is, so, um, was there competition at all on Drew Street amongst the dope dealers? Always. But I mean.

Because there's some that are the bigger ones. Yeah. That everybody goes to theirs. Yeah. So it's like it just depends. But were there ever, like shootouts? Like if somebody on the street was getting money. You can't do that.

Okay. No. Tell us about that. What were the rules around? Well, I mean, you just got to take turns. You can't side bust. And so everybody was kind of cooperating. Unless they go to you person.

Right. Like, right, right. Or it's like you're the, you're the man. You're all over going here. You're right here. Right here. But even if it was at a certain house, there's still at least one or two people there.

Yeah. that they're still taking turns. So everybody. So it's like so much fucking money. Everybody on this street was like cooperating in this, in crack selling. Wow. That's. And, and I know when we were filming, you told me like you saw some people get shot or you

heard people getting shot in the street. Yeah. What was that over then? It's just a random walking. Not walking. Like, you know, one of the guys was outside and he wasn't even from the gang. he just lived there. Yeah.

You know? Somebody was driving and got off and shot. Wow. Over what? Just. He didn't say anything or anything, but, you know, it could have been somebody else, like an enemy or whatever, you know, just. And just mistaken identity shot the wrong person.

Yeah. That's that. Wow. Did that happen pretty frequently? No, not really, honestly. Yeah, because it was such a tight block. It was such a tight block. You couldn't get outsiders really in at all.

Because you could see the op coming in. It was so different. Yeah. Like it was different. Like, you know, you would have people in different areas, like corners. Like, hey. Look it out. On the chirp.

Did you have the chirp in the, uh, you had the walkie-tokies? You know, the whole. So a little little nextel phones? Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So did you have lookouts like that? Yeah. Or we're just outside and we're like, hey, we've seen this car.

Like things like that. Wow. Or the cops, mainly for the cops. We weren't really. Yeah. We weren't really to threaten. And honestly by other people. Because you guys are so deep.

Yeah. Do you remember raids? Before your case came down, do you remember the cops rolling up during raids on crack houses? Not really, to be honest. Like, I don't really remember it like that. To be honest, maybe just the cops getting the guys. It was more about the guys, the cops getting the gang members.

Right. So they weren't there for the drugs. Obviously, yes. Well, what did you throw? You're looking a whole head. Trying to, you know, always trying to find something. But it was still the gang unit, most. that was coming up in there.

Always the gang unit. It was more about the gang members. So were you even thinking about feds at this point? I never even thought about the feds. You weren't because you were like, I'm just looking out for LAPD. I'm just looking out for LAPD. And look, it got to the point.

This was like 2000 in the early 2008. We would have like undercovers, like post up, like maybe like 10 of them and pretend to be gang members. Really? They would pretend. Obviously, we knew who they were. Like, okay, here.

So they didn't fool you at all? No, of course not. We don't know these fucking people. They don't look like any of us. Like, they're not our friends. Were they Latinos? Yes, Latinos and whites. Like, they will, you know, like, put the bandana all the way.

Like, who the, we don't wear that shit? We didn't in the fucking early 90s. We're in 2008, 2006. Like, shit's different. You know, like, it's not, you're not wearing that food. Like, what are you doing? You know, we already know. So they would, uh, bust, they would sell.

They were bused a, they were bused a smoking. and ask them, who is this person? Who is this person? Oh, so they were doing reverse bust. Exactly. That's crazy. And that's how they would get information from them. Right.

And smokers. They knew us. The smokers knew us. They were like our buddies. Like there were certain ones that we want, oh, hey, I wonder what this was coming. Or like. And crackheads will always snitch because they're so desperate to get out of jail to get high that they'll give it all the game up.

Yeah. Okay. So how does that progress? and tell us how that progressed into a Fed case? Well, I don't know how I progressed. I just know that I would like for a whole month, I would get pulled. I got pulled over almost every single day.

Coming home? Just driving. I didn't work or anything. Just driving. And I didn't find anything. I didn't have anything. They would just see. Who would pull you over?

Just cops. Just cops, regular cops. Regular cops? And I would have to. ticket for like speeding, for like exhaust. Like just... Would they, would they search your car? They were searched my car.

And I had weed. Like, we have like a joint lit there. Like, I wouldn't get a ticket for any just for like stupid shit. And did, were you on, and you had felonies by now, obviously? Yeah. Were you on parole while you were... I was on probation. So you didn't even take me in.

So it's like, what the fuck? Very strange. Super strange. Super strange. And were you paranoid? Because you're also getting high. You're still a meth head. Yes.

So did you start to get paranoid? I was just like, fuck, I would, I would just see them. And I'm like, I already have, like, the tickets in my hand. Like, I already got pulled over for this shit, fool. Like, what is your problem? I was not, like, fighting or like, what the fuck? Like, I just never been that kind of. But they were searching your car like they knew you were holding.

I didn't. We were just trying to, like, pick, you know? Okay. And, yep, in 2008, I believe it was in June. I, it was like four in the morning. My two guy friends just left. We were eating. We were watching the 50 cents.

movie. Get Richard I try. Yes. Chabotan did this the whole time the feds were in the house. You know how the DVDs at first, like, as like the DVDs you have to push play or whatever, like but it was always like a song playing. And it was like the 50 cent song like, fucking

um. America got a thing but it's gang's shit that love me. It was a fucking song. And it was just playing the whole time. I just remember this shit, you know? So anyways, my guy friends left and we were just eating cake and watching the movie, right? I'm on meth, but there's smoking weed.

They weren't meth heads, you know? Yeah. And as soon as they left, I hear like a boom, boom, boom, boom. Mind you, I live in the second floor. So I look outside my window and I see like, smoke. I'm like, what? Fuck. I'm like, what the fuck?

Literally, I look and I'm running back from like my door to the window, and I just see cars like really, really slow. Streamy. And I'm just like, oh, shit. And then I hear like going up my stairs. Boom, boom, boom. You heard the boots. Because I live on the second floor.

They, you know, they didn't break down my door. They knocked. They're nice. They were very nice gentlemen. I'm not going to say they were mean or anything. They knocked and they asked, hey, are you Miss Cruz? I sure am, you know? I already knew what time it was just because, I mean, they're at my house, you know?

All I cared was that my son was okay. He was in the apartment with you? It was an apartment. And I still remember his little face. He was like super nervous. Like he was five. Is my mommy going to be okay? And they're like, yes.

They allowed for me to call my mom. Hold on. So who was there? The DEA? The DEA and ATF. Wow. Yeah. Looking for guns.

Looking for guns. Did you ever have a gun? I didn't have anything on me. But you didn't have anything on you, but did you carry one in your line of work? Yes and no. Not really. Okay. I need to.

I could have really fucking carry my pants. Yeah. Oh, fucking twig. You know what I'm saying? Oh, yes. You're sucked up. I'm smoked the fuck out. Wow.

Yeah. Yeah, I am like a stick. Mm-hmm. You know? And. So they bring you downtown? They bring, no, they didn't bring me downtown. They took us to, uh, so when they were taking, rating my house, they were

rating like 70 other people's houses. At the same time. Maybe not 70 people, but there was 75 people in my case. Whoa. So this was a whole. This was like a whole, this was a whole indictment. A whole indictment. It's like, seven.

75 of us. Stringing you guys all together. We're raiding. Everybody's getting raided at the same time. Wow. One of my guys, one of my homies, he lived right across the street for me. Like, me and him were both in the paddy wagon together. And it was literally like the paddy wagon. Like, you know, the little trucks with open the door in the back.

Like, so I get in there, he's already in there. Now tell us when you were getting, when you were handcuffed and getting walked outside. What did the block look like? Was it just packed with cars? Just packed with cars. All feds. Squat. Squat.

Squat. Like. Wow. So it was still so smoky, like just. So they were raiding houses. They probably shot the smoke. Uh-huh. They were getting like, it was like boom, boom, boom, boom all over.

Mostly men? Mostly men. Any other girls or so? Okay. Yeah. Wow. So tell us about your case then. How do they, because I'm very fascinated by these federal cases.

They took all of these basically freelance dope dealers, but you guys were from a gang. Was that the way they were able to call it organized crime? Yes. Because you all claimed to be from. A certain gang. And what was that gang called? Avenues. Avenues.

That was a gang. So that's the way that they were able to elevate it into the RICO. Yeah. Into a RICO case. Yes. Wow. And when you saw that paperwork. I still didn't know.

What do you mean? I didn't know what I still didn't know what was happening. Right. Right. Like I didn't know what. I mean, obviously I know I'm fucking getting arrested. Right. I'm in my pajamas.

I have my Dodger job. I thought I was, I still was like, can I get my jacket? You know, it would be cool. You know? Yeah. We go to the Dodger Stadium. They had like a whole camp. Oh my God.

This is huge. Dodger Stadium parking. Whoa. Like they had like maybe like five Chevro buses. Like, why do you need five? Well, 70 people, I guess. I don't know. I don't know.

They make spectacles. Was the news there? I don't know. They make spectacles out of these things. Every, every couple of years, I've, notice even in today's day and age, every couple of years, they'll see, you'll see these gigantic roundups of different, usually Chicano gangs, and they'll rent like city blocks in downtown L.A. to post up all of the vehicles and bring, because it's like hundreds, hundreds of people

sometimes in these RICO cases. It was a lot. Wow. Yeah. So we get to the Dodgers Stadium and I'm like, what's that? Like, what am I getting charged for? And they're like, you are getting, uh, RICO indicted. you're, you know, you're like, what the fuck is a RICO? It's the guy you hooked up with, yeah. So Puerto Rican is who you're on? No, that's my Puerto Rican. I'm just saying, in RICO, you know? So, yeah, and they were like, so that's that.

Like, we're there. They sent, they shipped me first to Santa Ana County. And I was there for like a week. So females don't have to wait in the tombs downtown with everybody else, like the MCC? Yes, some girls went there. No really girls. I think only like two girls went to there. But I think it was like five of us

that went to Santa Ana. Okay. The girls, mainly the girls. Guys went to Santa Ana too, but the guys were so much they went everywhere. Yeah. You know, Someradino, West Valley or whatever the fuck.

And NBC. But majority of them were at NBC. Yeah. So I'm in Santa Ana. Most of the days, the first days I just slept. Yeah. I didn't know anything. I mean, I don't.

And you're exhausted because you've been on your meth high. For centuries. And so you just, you crash. I'm just sleeping. Yeah. I see my lawyer and, um,

he asked for me to get housed at MDC. So permanently house so that I'm not able to get it moved anywhere else. Right. So I could be close to home. That's my main thing, right? And everybody, all the guys and everybody was, all the guys were at MDC.

Mm-hmm. So, um, I get shipped to NBC. I get there. This is completely different from Santa Ana. Santa Ana is just kind of like a little, Like a jail.

Like a little jail, you know, it's just, it was just, I mean, not that MDC was all big or anything, but it was just completely different. And everybody there is waiting on fighting Fed cases. Exactly. Yeah. Everybody. And I get there and as soon as I walked into the night north, that's where they house, the girls, which is the last floor.

It's night north. That's where they have the girls, I get there. And as soon as I walk in, they're like, hey, you're negative. Like, your homies are waiting for you. Like, they already knew that I was getting charged. transferred. Yeah. However the fuck, I don't fucking know.

Wild. They just knew. I don't know how they know all that, but they do. So I get there, they're like, oh, you're negative. Hey, you're, your negras. You always want to talk to you. And I'm like, I don't want to talk to me. I have no idea.

Like, what do you mean they want to talk to me? Like, yeah, go to this room and scream on the van, like six north or seven north because they could hear you on the van. So I get there and I'm like, hey, it's negra. They're whatever. They're calling me. They were like, okay, hey. I just want to let you guys know that I'm here.

or like, hey, we know you got here, blah, blah, blah. If you need anything, let us know. Just like that. I got into my room and MDC was something else. Yeah. It was a fucking trip. It was cool. Like, not like that, but you're obviously doing time, right?

And it's like all your, I'm in this big ass fucking case. There's girls and there's the guys are all downstairs. Everybody's all like, ah, the girls, the guys. Right. I'm talking to this guy. I'm talking to this guy. Like everybody has boyfriend. You're in a relationship in jail.

I love those. It's like an old school sex, sex line. You know, you just talk dirty through the vents. Well, you know, I had one,

but I didn't talk dirty, to be honest. I had two boyfriends, right? In there? In the MDC? Two and a half. Two and a half boyfriends. You were playing around.

You always were, you're a little player, dude. I was. That's what you are. Now would you... But my last boyfriend had kept them the whole term. Your last boyfriend?

Oh, you kept him your whole story. Stretch. My boyfriend that I found at MDC. Yeah. We were in the relationship my whole term. Like writing each other. Every day talking to each other three-way messages, emails.

How do you email from prison? Well, because, you know, we have, now we have, like, emails. So we have computers that you're able to inmate your, email your family. So I would email his mom. His mom will copy and paste, and she will send it to each other. Right. Like, she will send me his messages. and I would, she would send my messages.

Could you get nudes out to him? No. That's suck. You even take nudes, though. I don't know. I didn't have cell phone. Like, it wasn't like that. Yeah, okay.

At all. Okay. You know? Yeah. Yeah. I always sound like cruel when I was locked up. They would confiscate the nude photos that the chicks would send into the dudes. I'm like, do you want us to, there's so much stabbing already.

Yeah. You want motherfuckers to kill each other even more? At least I don't release a damn fucking stress. Yeah. Seriously. Tell them to quit. offering to fuck me, you know? Jesus Christ.

I can't take it anymore. So, yeah, MDC was completely like people would, we would fish with the guys through the toilet. Okay, tell us. Tell us. Okay, so,

this, I thought it was like so crazy. So depending on the floor that you, you know, obviously the girls on the ninth floor and you, depends on what floor of the guys of 8th North or 7 north, we would get a sheet and you would, slice them like do lines. Yeah.

Do lines, right? You know about that. And tie them up. Yeah, we definitely know about doing lines, guys. We will tie the sheets up, so make them long, right? And then that's one side. And then you will tie like, the laundry bag has like a net looking thing. You'll cut it and tie it to the big old line of sheet, right?

The other person that you're fishing with will have the hook. meaning they'll do it like a braid. And you know what? Each battery, if you open the battery up, it's a nail in there. Oh. So you will make a braid and pull maybe like 13 nails.

Right. Inside the line. So then I flush and they flush and they would try to hook. I have the hook and he has a, I have the line and he has a hook. So we try to hook each other. Right.

And then we will connect. Right. And then he pulls it down. We'll be connected. He has his side and I have mindset, but we're still connected. Right. So then I would pull his line up or however, and we would send like food, letters, alcohol. Through the bag, through the plumbing? Through the toilet.

But we would wrap it. Like, let's just say you're in the shoe. There's guys that live in the shoe, right? They don't eat real food like that. Like, so the girls will make burritos. And we will wrap them really, really, really good. Like wrap them. ceramic wrap like really, really, really well.

And then we'll wrap it with a sheet really, really well. And then tie it up like a tamal. Yeah, like a tamale. Yeah, like a tamal. You wrap them and then send it down. Like flush, I'm setting it down. Wow, because all the plumbing is connected. Exactly.

Wow. Yeah. Brilliant. Right? Like, I never fished. I know people did it in there. I was too busy, you know, whatever. Think about what I was going to do when I got out of prison.

But that's fascinating. That's crazy. That's crazy. Now, when you were locked up at MDC, everybody's fighting their case. Did you have bail? No bail. See, they didn't even give you a number. No bail.

Why not? Because I was on probation. Well, of course. When you're on probation, you catch a case, you automatically get a no bail hold. Tell us about the other people involved in your case. What were the charges? It's all a big RICO conspiracy charge? Yes.

Well, my charges were. conspiracy to racketeering and distribution of crack cocaine. Those are my charges. Everybody has, there's like, everybody has different charges within a larger charge. Yeah, our book,

our indictment was like, like this big. Like, it was over like, I don't know, 500 charges. I don't fucking know. What were the other,

what were some of the other crimes? Like murders, extortion, like all kinds of shit, you know. And these are all people that, from the block. I knew everybody,

almost. So there's 70 people from that little neighborhood just gone. Yeah. Overnight. Overnight. Wow. So crazy. Wow.

Yeah. Did you have support from the community? Or were they kind of glad you guys were gone? Well, I feel like in a way certain people were happy that they were gone. Because obviously it stopped completely like drug sales. Like just a lot of things. Maybe not right away because there was another indictment, which I wasn't part of. But I'm sure it slowed things down.

Well, you go there now, there is no more dope traffic. At all. It's nothing. It actually worked. It worked. The war on drugs doesn't work, but it actually, in the case of this little block, it worked. And it took them a long, long, long time. Yeah.

Well, because crackheads figure out that that spot's hot, so they just go somewhere else. Yeah. Okay. So you know you're getting time. What's the maximum? Well, they said 25. If you took your case to trial lost. So there was just no doing that, right?

What evidence did they have against you? Well, we, I don't know if people know, but me, I know that if I'm in the federal case, they have something on me no matter what or else I would not be there. Right. I know in my head I'm guilty or whatever the fuck. You know what I'm saying? Like, there's no point. ever yeah well that's what the riko cases were that's how they do that was created so you

they didn't need to catch it with so um on one of our like discoveries because you had like they gave you like a whole box of discoveries of everybody that taught everybody to talk about like the the bus like the there was one that there was like um okay we're we have so-and-so walking up to black which is me that was that's what they called you yeah black right and um oh we don't know if she's gonna go for it like things like that oh so they had undercover uh buys on you. Were those actually cops or just crackheads that they had... One was a cop and one was a crackhead.

Okay. Because there was like three different ones. How many buys did they have? Of mine, probably like four. Okay. Did they get you on video at all? Not on video, but just recording. Uh-huh.

Like audio. And, yeah, just that. Oh, they had four buys. And they could have given you 25 years. And a phone call, which I wish they would have gave me a phone call. That's only like three years, max. What do you mean? Like, when they listen on the call.

I don't get it. Like, you know, you're like, oh, we have, we heard a phone call when your phones are tapped. Right. We heard a phone call of this person and this person saying she's going to take money. It's just an example. Right. Like. Oh, I said what you're saying as opposed to actually physically serving.

Exactly. Okay. Because that was on a phone call as well. But they didn't even give me that. Which would have been cool for me because that's only three years, Max. Right. What were the most major sentences out of people in your indictment? Like there's some that are still in there.

Wow. And these are murder cases? Yeah, I believe so. I never really looked into it, to be honest. If it wasn't me, I didn't even get involved. It has nothing to do with me. I didn't go to court with them. Well, we first, we all went to court together.

And then little by little kind of everybody kind of started going on their own. Right. Or like, I don't know. You know, they started talking their deals. So did everybody take deals? almost everybody took deals i believe so somebody took it to trial you think uh well there is somebody that spoke i'm not sure i don't think anybody took it to trial to be honest i'm not really sure because once i was gone i don't care i don't know it doesn't involve me i don't give a fuck i just worry about

me you know what i'm saying yeah yeah how long were you at at mdc i was at mdc for 13 months yeah it's a long time to be in jail yeah um so what was your deal what did you I signed for 60 months and five years probation. So five years and five years. Okay. So they ship you off. Tell us about prison. This is where it gets fun.

So I get sentenced. I'm only there for like another week. And then I get shipped to Arizona. No, actually I'm lying. I got shipped to San Bernardino. San Bernardino, I was there for like two and a half weeks. But Sembrinidino was like an actual jail jail. Like it looked like the movies

Like there's a bunk Because it has like the whole Like how it sounds in the movies And like like a little walkway And there's like the tables And like a little shower there And you're basically there 24 seven

Yeah so that was just where they were holding you Until they shipped you off Yeah they were holding those are like federal inmates Find bed space for you Exactly So then I'm there two weeks And then I would they drive us Well they drive me to Arizona

I'm in Arizona I get that there, I'm there for another month. I, this is funny, but so I'm in Arizona, I get there and I'm thinking like, I'm talking to these girls in Spanish, right? And they're like, we don't speak Spanish. And I'm like, oh, okay, I'm sorry, they're like, we are native.

I'm like, oh, shit! I had no idea, okay, I had no, I'm in my own world. Like, I'm in L.A., I'm on drugs. Like, I didn't even think about natives. I didn't even think natives existed. Right. Native Americans. Native Americans. I love them.

Those are my girls, right? You look native. I am native. I mean, Mexicans are native. Yeah, my native name is wind in my hair. Oh. I like to call myself that sometimes. I'm just kidding.

But no, my native friend from prison named me that. That was like our little thing. So I'm in Arizona and I'm just there for like a, like a month. And then one night we're like, okay, you're getting shipped. So they drive us to the airport. Like, we're going to the airport. I've never been on a plane. Are you kidding me?

So I'm like feeling sick. Oh my God. It's hot. Your first plane ride is con air. Yes. My first plane ride is con air. So we're in the bus. The plane is late, right?

The girls are flirty with the guys. I'm just, they're quiet. I'm feeling sick. It's so hot. So hot. So hot. And I'm just like, fuck. You know, mind you, I have my boyfriend.

So I always thought I was kind of like, oh, I don't want to talk to these guys, whatever, right? And I'm in the plane. We get in the plane. I get my period. But first, when we're getting off the bus to walk to the plane, there's a big old fucking con air, and there's like 20 marshals lined up on one side and another 20 marshals lined up with, like, guns.

Like some movie shit. This is like new to me, right? And they put girls and guys together on the plane? Okay. I have my hair down. I always had kind of lung hair, right? I'm sweating. I have a sweater, and I'm like, I'm on my period.

I'm handcuffed, you know, the bottom, the feet, everything, right? We're walking and I sit there and I'm just like, fuck, I feel good. I'm like, you know, I'm not okay. Like, I am not okay. You're showing. No, not like that, but I know I wasn't okay. Again, in the car and I'm just like, I get like a hot flash or something where, you know, when you get this and you throw up.

I threw up like on myself like, on the damn bus. Like, no, it was terrible. Oh, you poor thing. No, this shit was messed. Like, I'm not ever going to forget that, right? And it's so embarrassing, even in prison, there's so many embarrassing things that happened to you. And you shouldn't care because you're surrounded by other losers who you, like, shouldn't care what they think about you, but you do.

Hey, but we're not losers. We just have bad choices. Totally, right. But, you know, figure it, so to speak. Yes, I get it. I get it. So, okay, they give me water. I'm feeling better.

I'm getting up. I get up. It's a long fucking path to walk to the fucking bathroom, right? There's only like 10 girls And the whole thing It's guys I'm like Fuck me

You know like I'm feeling like shit I'm in my fucking period Like I'm probably like all white From fucking not feeling okay And like guys are like Dang girl Like oh shit

The whole It's like the walk of shame You know But it's not the walk of shame Because I'm supposed to be really flattered by all of this right I'm not an ugly person Like especially without makeup

I feel like I'm better without makeup. Just saying guys. I just have to be camera ready for that, you know? Fair. Of course. Anyways. So that's that.

I come back. You know, I throw water on myself. Like, guys are like throwing like, like, just like things like at me. Like,

not bad, but like trying to get my attention. I'm just like, I'm too fucking cool. Like I'm not looking at you fools. Like I don't give a fuck. I'm not, you know,

so, okay, we get to Oklahoma, which is another detention center that transit and Oklahoma. It's too full we can't put us in there. So they take us this place called Grady County. The girls were still wearing the stripe shit.

It was just a big room with like gang of bunks. The bathroom was in the corner and there was like two bathrooms like literally right next to each other with the camera right in the fucking ass. Like, bro, you want to fucking come fucking wipe my ass or some shit, you know? I was there for like 30 days. I remember because it was when Michael Jackson died. Like, you know, they had like the whole thing on TV or all the girls were seeing it and crying. I was there for like 30 days. And then from there, we took us to Minnesota on the bus.

Oh, wow. That's a long bus ride. Yes. Wow. But you got to your home finally. I got to. After four institutions. Yes.

Yes. I got to Minnesota to Waseka, federal institution. Wow. I get there. They put us in the shoe for like two days. I guess I don't know why to find us a place, whatever. And then we get. The shoe is the whole.

The shoe is the whole. Okay. And I'm there for two days. And I go, they give us my, our unit. I go to a B unit. Now, are they pods or are they individual cells? No, so Minnesota was an old university. Oh, wow.

So it's kind of more like a college base. Interesting. So like the rooms were like, the actual rooms, like the dorm. Yeah, yeah. So it's not sales, it's not doors. It's just a room with two, you know, two bunks and the lockers. The rooms are pretty big.

Wow. So it's pretty comfortable. Yeah. Wow. But when I get there, I go to the basement. Yeah. Because I'm a new person. Like, you don't go and get a fucking room.

Yeah. It doesn't work that way, you know? That way your fucking turn. Yeah. So I get there. I started reading Twilight. You know, that's when it first came out. I read the whole books now first month.

Like I didn't really leave. I would just go eat. I didn't really like. Now how is your, you haven't done meth since you got locked up? I haven't done meth this whole time. So it's been like over a year. While I was an MDC,

I smoked weed and I drank. Okay. How do they tell us about the drugs in jail. They would, people would smuggle it in. People would keester it in? I don't know. The weed?

I would, the guys would send it to me. Through the, on the fishing line. Wow. So you get. fucking a bunch of weed covered in shit water. Yeah.

That's great. And these little pinter-ass ones, like pinner, pinner, pinners. Yeah, yeah. But our main thing was we were drinking, you know, but once I got to prison, I didn't, I didn't do anything. Okay. I mean, I might have snort a pill here and there for like the holidays just to like chill or whatever.

Sure, sure. A little you time. There's nothing wrong with that girl. You know, a little vibe. You know what the music or whatever, but. Okay. So were you gaining weight back? I gave.

Yeah, but I started working out right away. As soon as I hit MDC and I started feeling myself more, I started because, you know, they have like a stepper and a lip-to-go and I started working out. Yeah. I got to Minnesota and I gained weight because I got a job at the kitchen and the bakery. Ah, yes. I wasn't working out yet as much. Like I just was just, just, I was just kind of like, I guess, getting into the groove. Yeah.

Like, you know, I got a job and I'm just getting just getting settled. I should say, you know, once I was already there like a year or like maybe like eight months, I started working out. Mm-hmm. And I would work and work out and that's it. Yeah. That's all. And most of the people locked up were there for drugs, I assume.

Most girls, yes. Yeah, that seems to be what most women are locked up for. And a lot of women are there because of their men. Right. Yeah. Isn't that crazy? They're there because they get roped into what their mans are doing. And then they take a fall.

Yeah. Do you remember that? Or like these white color crimes. Right. Like these ladies, oh, I don't belong here with these people. Like, hello, you're stealing money from the fucking people. How can you not belong here? Right, right.

They look at it as like victimless. Exactly. They're doing that also to feed the high. Uh-huh. Yeah. Yeah. So you're there for how long did you do, did you do total? I did my whole 60 months.

I did five years. You couldn't get like a little time cut? No, I guess I got my time taken away. So I did do the drug program and they supposed to like deduct the whole year, but I didn't have that. because my so the only way you're able to deduct time is if you're like have enough time or like your points or your case. Mine was a high case.

Yeah. So I didn't really qualify for to deduction my time. Plus I lost a little bit of time. For what? For a fight. You got in a fight. Yeah. Tell us about that real quick.

What is that? What is a female prison fight? It was an MDC. Mm. And it was over a drink. Like you drank my drink. You're Pruno? Yeah.

You know, like I had the guy ship it upstairs. You got it. I was at a, I think I was visiting. And I came back and everybody was all fucked up and she drank my shit. Wow. So that carries over? Yes. Because if you get to fight.

Because I was already in the federal custody. It's already FBOP. Oh, wow. That sucks. Yeah. Can't get one little fight? Who won? It was like, I got fucked up because I got jumped.

Oh, you got jumped? Yeah. You guys got dumped, essay. I know, honestly, I was fucked up. Really? And I had to go to court that way. My eyes, like, no light. They were like this.

So what happened? Like even the other COs were like, I don't even remember. It was like, it was like fast. You got jumped for how many people? Just two girls. But I mean, they just fucked me up. Like I was a little thin ass face. Like I've always kind of been small.

Like she's my friend. Like we talk now. Like we still talk. But it was just something. It was nothing major. we were good, like happen. It is what it is. Like,

yeah. So you so. Friends fight, you know? Yeah. But yeah, but not beat downs that caused you to lose good times.

Yeah, but they were friends. But they were, but they were crimeies. Ah. They lived together and they were cramies. They were in the same case. So obviously, when something pops up,

like that's your home girl. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Damn. Damn. So you had to do the full five. Yeah. What year did you come home?

2012. It was only 11, actually. Mm. Because I had to go to the half a half a half house. And when you're in the halfway house, you're still considered, like, FBLB custody. I'm still busted. I didn't get out of the halfway house to 2012. Gotcha. Gotcha. And now look at you. Fucking podcast star. I cleaned your life up. Yeah, I've been. I've been out since 2012. I lived in my, I got out to

Miami, actually. That's why did you parole there? My mom, uh, relocated while I was incarcerated. Okay. And she has my son. So obviously, I was going to go where my family is. But I feel like that was like the best thing that ever happened. Like, that. As soon as I got out, my mom moved back. However, it just worked out that way. And I feel like it's like the best thing if I would have came back home, I probably would have fell back. Totally. If you would have gone back to the neighborhood, yeah, yeah. Well, what did you learn about yourself when you got sober? Well, I found out who Christina is. I didn't know who I was. I've been on drugs for, since I was like 13 years old. So I didn't even know who this person was.

Who was she? me awesome-ass fucking girl woman i should say right no i i was just not like a fucking hype not on like just not overreacting just not like because you get what i'm saying like i just tapped into who you really were which is a sweetheart like i cared about myself mm-hmm like all i cared about was myself and my family and like trying to find trying to do better just well you know i feel like i'm kind of still the same i'll be lying if i say i've changed i feel like i'm still the same i'm just not on drugs anymore. And that was my only problem. Yeah. I feel like drugs were my only problem. Yeah, it's so many people.

Yeah, but where does drug use come from? I'm fascinated by that. You know, what was the... I started it for fun. Right. That's how I started. I don't feel like I used drugs to cover anything up. Yeah, my parents got divorced. I feel like it was the best thing that ever happened to my mom. You get what I'm saying? Do you have a relationship with your father still? Oh, yeah. Okay. And is he in LA still? No, well, my dad lives in Rosarito. Okay. He crosses. He has a house and San Isidro, so Chola Vista. So he crosses the border often, like every day, every other day. Wow.

So he kind of achieved the Mexican dream. Come here, make money, retire back home. Yeah. Wow. And what about your mother? She works for the four seasons. Oh, yeah, that's right. Yeah, she's been at the four seasons for years.

Okay, great. Yeah. What do you think it was about the 90s? And we'll wrap after this. What was it about that era where children of good, hardworking immigrants fell into the wrong path, we'll say. Well, like I said, for, maybe it was just, we were just friends playing outside.

I grew up. And you were around bad forces when you were outside, right? Yeah, I mean, that's negative energy no matter what, because, you know, they're there to protect your street, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You know, like, oh, this guy doesn't belong here. Let's get them out. Things like that. But, I mean, that's just, that was just normal.

You just wanted to belong. I think I just wanted to belong And if belonging had been to like a group of people You know playing frisbee That's what you would have done Yeah but I don't think that was my thing I think I just like that The whole

I'm a gang member I'm a chola Like I never consider myself a chola though What's the difference between what you are And a chola? I'm a Mexican woman I'm a Latina Yeah

So you never consider yourself a chola No I never consider myself a chola What is a chola? Well now I feel like it's like a look. Yeah. Like a trend, like a certain look, you know? But before a Chola was like an actual girl that's from a gang.

Well, weren't that? Wasn't that where you were that? Yeah, but I just didn't think it was cool. Like to call myself a Chola, like, I'm a fucking chola. Like, you were like better than that? Yeah. But were you though? No.

Like I, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Does that exist? But I wasn't like that girl that. Oh, you know, like, she's just around because of her boyfriend. Right. You had your own hustle.

You had your own identity. Like, I didn't have a family member that was from the same gang. Like, I didn't have a boyfriend. I did have a boyfriend. That's not like, you know what I'm saying? Like, that was after the fact. Like, it was me. Tell us about the people that you ran with.

What has become of them today? Have people made it out like you? Yes. A lot of them are doing so well. Right. They've reintegrated. Yeah. Maybe there's like one or two or three that, you know, is out.

But it's not like they're out gangbanging. They're just on drugs. On drugs. Right. It's just completely different lives. Like, yeah, you're a gang member, but you're not a gangbanger. Yeah. Yeah.

You're just doing drugs. And your whole life is a revolving. And you're just out there doing whatever you're doing to get money for drugs or whatever. Yeah. It's not, you're not doing it for the cause of the hood or that gang or whatever. You know what I'm saying? Like, does gangbanging exist in L.A. anymore?

Yes. No. Of course it does. Really? I have a lot of, a lot of youngster homies that are active. Extremely. But now the neighborhoods are different. Is there gangbanging in the avenues anymore in Glass Hill Park?

Yes. But it's just different. I mean, it's just completely different. It's not obvious anymore to an outsider pulling up there. Exactly. It's not like a group of guys. They just look different. I feel like they just look different. you can't skinny jeans.

They're wearing skinny jeans. You know, my, I took on my little babies, right? They're not skinny jeans. They don't wear skinny jeans. They're just normal boys. Little baggy pants or whatever, but you know what I'm saying? It just depends. Like, once they hit the jail, then they start behaving different.

The jail is what kind of molds them or whatever. You know what I'm saying? It all kind of comes from jail. With men, I feel like the orders come from jail. Yeah, they come in a certain way, but when they come out, they come out a different person, but that's what happened to me too. Right, right. But you, you know, thank God. But I'm a girl, so it's different. Yeah.

I mean, as a teenager, you get what I'm saying? That's when it starts. You shouldn't start at 18, 19, 20 years old. No, if people that start gang banging at like 20, they're not, I feel like they're not really about it. I think that's kind of what it is now. Like now, like nobody starts at 12, 13 years old anymore. I'll tell you what, it's not now as fun. You had fun. It was fun.

Now I'm a mom, I'm a wife. It's not the same. Like, what kind of women would I be if I'm out there on the corner? Like, no. It doesn't work that way. It doesn't age well. No, it's just not the right thing. Like, I'm not like, what kind of fucking person want I mean?

If you're young, fuck it, I keep doing your shit. You know, if you're young, if that's what you want to, if that's the lifestyle you want to be in, then hey, don't fucking cry. So you think it was a choice? You don't think it was like poverty that pushed you. guys into the streets. Because clearly, there's some, there's some economy involved.

There's all these people buying cracks. Clearly it was a money-making decision like for you. Yeah. With your child. For selling, yeah, but not like to be, not to be hanging out with my friends.

Yeah. So it's a choice. Yeah, I feel like it's a choice. There's a lot of guys and women that were born and raised there and they're not like that. My sister's not like me.

We're completely different. Yeah. Well, you're fucking killing it. And I want everybody to go watch indicted TV. And I want people that need a teeth whitening. You know, maybe you're on meth. You could really use a teeth whitening. You're going to go check out her teeth whitening. She's the tooth fairy of L.A. I am the L.A. tooth fairy. The L.A. tooth fairy. T-H-E. Yeah. And you've got great merch. Yeah, I have my indicted t-shirts. Orange is the new Negra.

Yeah. Hell yeah. It's fire. Yes, right. I love that. Yeah. It's your, your podcast is like, like the new thing, I feel like. If you're, if you, you know, are into this fucking culture and this brand, you have to go check out what she's doing over at Indicted TV. If you might just stick around and we can talk some fun prison stuff. We're going to do a quick little bonus episode. Is that cool? Like half an hour. Go over to patreon.com slash the Connect show for more Christina La Negra Cruz. And thank you so much. This has been wonderful. Okay. I appreciate it. Thank you guys. Peace out. See ya.