The Cryptid Factor - #090 The Slit Slot Issue

Episode Date: March 28, 2024

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Available in select locations. See app for details. The Cryptid Factor with Rhys Darby and Dan Schreiber. Okay guys, so we're gonna say and we're back but we'll do it individually okay so buttons you get to say and Dan you'll wear and I'll do the back okay hey okay whoa hang on hang on come on just the and guy yeah that's you well you gotta start it you're the starter that's exciting but I just get and yeah and yep that's you to be honest I'd quite the end. It's an anagram of Dan. So I feel quite a lot of affinity to it. That's good. OK. I feel like I'm good at opening stuff as well.

I feel like buttons. You're more the middle guy who can bridge us to race. Yeah, I'm not even in the credits. Why I shouldn't even be saying anything. I should be here just sitting quietly. Money. Well, you've lost the end now. You were the end guy. Now you've lost.

Oh, I want to be a guy. And I think Dan's right. You're middle management really aren't you? So I think we'll put you in the middle there with where now let's hear you. Where where yeah, it sounds like WHERE. So it's going to have to be it's it's we are so no I was asking where where did you want me to do the where are in in the middle? Oh, right? Where where I'm really the best one for that with the ours. Yeah

I'll tell you I'll do and where oh, yeah, you do back race You just you watch make from the side Yeah, watch watch how it's done. Okay, okay Here's a thing you can do at the end of after back. You can do whatever you like there, but it can't be a word. It's got to be a sound. But you get the final thing! I get the final thing!

Headline slot, that's exciting. Yeah. Wow! So I'm like the exclamation point. Yeah. Yeah, okay. That's good. Oh. Alright, you ready? Here we go! When you're ready, Dan.

And we're... Back! Yay! No,'re ready, Dan. And we're... BACK! Yay! No, that was a word. That was...unfortunately, that was a word. I was just...but it's an excitement word. You're back to middle management. It's your basic emotion point.

Arrrrgh! Good girl, okay, but what...what other noise could I make? It's true! Now we're moving on. We've done half an hour on this. But we are back, guys. Welcome back. I know you're in a state of shock that we are back so quickly. We are in a state of shock about what's just happened. Of course, this episode is post-massive world exclusive episode. Yeah.

Which saw us hitting the papers. We were global news. It's everywhere. The Cryptid Factor actually became weekly world weird news. We did! Oh my god, we did! It's a show within an episode. Yeah, yeah. So our weekly world weird news this week should be that. It's us. That's so true. I have to say one thing I'm so excited by is the fact that, you know, how I often go onto a website called Mysterious Universe and I absolutely rinse all of Paul

Seaborn's work for this show. I just, I just take what he's done. rinse all of Paul C. Burns work for this show. I just take what he's done. I cannot tell you how proud it was to open up his website today and see that the Cryptid Factor is in his new roundup and I am now going to rip it again. And you'll be like, I'll be taking that. Thank you. It's mine anyway. Well, no, he's clearly gone. Right. It's my turn. I get to rip off the cryptic factor after decades of them ripping me off. We finally give him something to write about. We rip ourselves off.

But also, you know, I think one thing that's really exciting is the fact that it was through a conversation that I had with Steve Feltham that led to us being introduced to Chi and having the photos given to us to do this. How many hours buttons of painstaking sitting down, analyzing, editing, finding the metadata. You know, we do all of this amazing stuff only to be receiving the brilliant headline, the brilliant headline, Reese Darvey discovers Loch Ness Monster. Well done, Reese Darvey. Well done, you. You know what? I was not shocked at all. And I was absolutely delighted, especially with the New Zealand Herald and various other publications that came through and said, Hollywood funny man finally discovers long lost monster in the lock.

I mean, it's everywhere. Locknest monsters spotted in footage found by Hollywood star. Thanks guys. Cheers. Thanks everyone. It was exhausting. The interesting thing would be is that you've been out on the lock a couple of times. Three times at least. Three times. So if anyone deserves a little bit of credit.

I know you've done three expeditions, but imagine if somebody before you went on any of those expeditions showed you a quick flash of newspaper headlines and said, look, Reese Darby discovers Loch Ness Monster, and then set you out on the expedition, you'd be like, today's the day I'm gonna discover Nessie. Yeah. And then you'd come back disappointed three times going, what?

No, no, no, I think the universe made it happen. They could see, when I say I call the universe they, because let's be honest, it's gotta be more than one person controlling this shithouse they saw me and they thought all right listen we know you're busy you've had your three times on the lock we forgot to bring old mate up to the surface so you go about your your career and we'll come back it'll come back round in fact you know what you won't have to do anything mate we'll get your mates to sort this out

someone else will take the photos the guy that's been on the lock for 30 years It'll come back around. In fact, you know what? You won't have to do anything, mate. We'll get your mates to sort this out. Someone else will take the photos. The guy that's been on the lock for 30 years, he'll be on board and Dan will link it through and old dopes will put the photos together and don't worry, mate, you'll get the glory. You jammy, jammy bastard. Your whole life.

I think it's pretty cool though that you've just had a big birthday as of a couple of days ago And that you closed out your first half century with a headline saying Darby finds Loch Ness Monster I know, literally on my birthday Literally on your birthday That was actually Dan and I that was our birthday present to you We've been working on this for months We've been working on this for months! We've been working on this for years.

Exactly! We had to go out in 2018 and Buttons was dressed as a weird nassy in the ocean. I was... I pointed to Chi. What do you reckon that is? Why don't you take photos of that? Take some photos of that! So you were the guy that was doing the scuba diving with the Loch Ness Monster outfit on.

Yeah, yeah. No wonder the bubbles were so giant. You've got big breasts. I've always said that. Oh, anything for you, Mr Darby. I tell you what, seeing Chee Kelly's name in the newspapers, it looks like a name that's meant to be associated with the best footage of the Loch Ness Monster. Every time I see it, it's so iconically, you know, like it's always been there. Chee Kelly, that's been part of the legend

for years. Yeah, credit where credit is due, it all comes down to Chee. And you know, I obviously did the least. So it's pretty funny at the end of the day. But the reality is, congrats, buttons, congrats, Dan, you know, to getting this to where it is and for our involvement and I hope she's riding some sort of cool wave too. After all, she took all the pictures. So, yeah. And Steve, I hope Steve by the lot is getting some good positive heat. Yeah, he certainly is getting good positive heat as he deserves it. getting good positive as he deserves it. It's still a real shame to see the odd, not too much,

but the odd comment coming in that is, you know, people just bagging for bagging, say, just haters gonna hate type thing. And there is a little bit of that. And you know, that's always disappointing. It's fine to not believe the photos, but there's the odd little comment in there that I've seen that you're just like,

oh man, come on. But listen, mate, haters are gonna hate, readers are gonna read. Why are you reading the comments? Don't. Yeah. That's a good point. Yeah for a guy that can barely read I don't know why you're looking at the comments.

That's my practicing. I'm practicing aren't I? I'm just giving it a wee hoon see if I can figure this thing out. What's the plural? Also I was drunk when I wrote them, so it doesn't really matter No, it's been a it's been a real blast and already TV shows are hitting Oh, yeah, some of us to be involved and to go and talk about it. Oh, yeah, which one of us? Yeah, which one of us? Well, actually I'll just check't, I don't think it was, no it wasn't me.

Was it you Dan? I don't think it was me. I don't think it was me. I don't think it was me. I don't think it was me. I don't think it was me. I don't think it was me. I don't think it was me.

I don't think it was me. I don't think it was me. I don't think it was me. I don't think it was me. I don't think it was me. I don't think it was me. I don't think it was me. I don't think it was me.

I don't think it was me. I don't think it was me. I don't think it was me. I don't think it was me. I don't think it was me. I don't think it was me. I don't think it was me. and be involved in an expedition that's happening for a big US episode coming up. But you know, that's what happens when you're the Hollywood funny man, guys. Put a bit more groundwork into your life. And the gravy will drip later. Oh man, it's hard just being the and guy. Not even, no, with the we're guy.

No, you got kicked out of that. We're trying to work our way to the back, but we can't. You're the exclamation mark, mate. God damn it. If anyone should be the exclamation mark, it's you. And I think that was the right move in the end. I mean, yes, you did fuck it up, but it's still there. You'll always be the loud apostrophe.

The fuck up of the exclamation mark. That's my t-shirt for this year. Such a fuck up of an exclamation mark. That's my t-shirt for this year. Such a fuck up of an exclamation mark. There you go. Guys, I don't want to like we've had a lot of excitement as a result of last week's episode So I hate to do this, but I am coming to the table today with another exclusive Yeah What? Yeah. Already? I know.

It took us 15 years to get the first one. Dan, you can't just go the straight. They're like buses. They don't come and when they do, there's bloody three or four of them. And you don't know which one's the right one to catch. People are going to get sick and tired of listening to the show. They're going, oh, man, it's exclusive again. I just want them to get back to the good old days of an hour and a half of nothing!

Well, this is a personal investigation. As you guys know, I have been leading an investigation in my local area about the size of ships from the outside of my house. There was one thing that was listening back to the episode, just marvelling at how funny I was, and I did actually suddenly realise when listening back to that story about you having the ships looking like they were closer at one spot, and then you walk four minutes to the beach and they're further away, I did wonder whether or not in that four minutes the boat had just travelled further away. Travelled further away.

It's a very good point. Maybe they are all traveling in one direction, all the way from you. It is a solid thought. No, the boats are all traveling from right to left or left to right. So they are definitely going in a straight. Yeah, they're going across. You couldn't drift. Exactly, they're going across. Okay. It's a shipping lane, isn't it? Yes, exactly. It's a shipping drift. Exactly. They're going across. Okay. It's a shipping lane, isn't it?

Yes, exactly. It's a shipping lane. So what I'm going to do, I thought long and hard because we talked about how I can't capture it on video. I thought how am I going to be able to show this to you guys? So here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to play this to you now. So here we go, guys. I have got a recording of someone standing outside my house as a ship is in the distance. So here's audio one Okay, so can you note how big that thing is that we're seeing in the ocean there? Okay, it's not that big Yeah, yeah. Okay. So just picture the size in your mind. Okay. All right. So there we go. That's the first audio Right, that's proof not very big. So not very big.

There was no influence on my side. As you heard, I was just asking him to log it. We walk the three or four minutes to the beachfront. So here we go. Audio part two. Nothing tampered with here. I promise. Okay.

Okay. So now we're at the shorefront. You can see the same ship. Yeah. Is it closer or further away? It's way further away. Like how much further away? Quite a lot.

Like I would have assumed it would be much, much closer. Yeah. Oh's way further away like how much further away quite a lot like I would have assumed It would be much much closer. Yeah Twice as far in fact we can barely make it out right Did this on a windy day to those I could I got that from this no that felt genuine That was, I got that from that. No, that felt genuine. Well, very genuine. Who was that guy? That was my friend Alex Bell.

We can get him onto the show to verify his account if we need. Okay. Yeah, so... We may well need to do that, because, I mean... I know what you're thinking, Buttons. You're thinking the wind blew the ship further away, aren't you? Yeah! It was a windy day!

I'm just saying, there's evidence there. Was it a yacht that you were... I'm just wondering, was it a yacht? Did it have a sail? To be fair, this one was closer to a yacht than it was a... Right, right, right. No, but it was, oh my god, it was so far away. Honestly, something weird's going on with the optics.

You've got yourself a phenomenon there, for sure, yeah. An actual phenomenon. Yeah, so there you go. Wow. You You know you've got to do a video one of this so we can put it up on our new YouTube channel. Oh yes, world exclusives channel. I just don't know if it can capture it, that's the only issue. That's my issue. What you mean a video camera couldn't capture it? Yeah because when you film it's just naturally of a weird distance anyway on your camera it just captures a very different size. So well, here's what you need is a Samsung it's 23 or is 24. I think they're up to now. They've got a good zoom on we

Have moved to putting ads on the crypto pack to put those longtime listeners that who knows without it That was a very subtle one. Just there. That was a real. We've got a deal where our ads can be within a sentence. Oh, you only need to mention them briefly Honda. So the thing is, is that with. Well, the interesting thing is I'm monitoring the ads that are coming in. Yeah. But I haven't seen Honda or Samsung. Well, the interesting thing is I'm monitoring the ads that are coming in. Yeah.

But I haven't seen Honda or Samsung. I'm just wondering whether or not you've got some sort of side deal going on. No, I've got a. Yeah, I told you I had the subliminal. Subliminal. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've got the subliminal deal. Coca-Cola. So for me, I think it's just I can slit things in and slot them in. Wow, slit and slot. Slit is the tighter version of slot.

Right. Slit and slot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So in the subliminal world, we say slits. Yeah. Because you can imagine a slit being tighter than a slot. They're like flash ads. Right, gotcha. It's all part of the subliminal advertising world. That's true, it subliminal advertising world. That's true, it's a whole new world. It's too Mitsubishi.

Oh, excuse me, I've got a, oh, I've got a bit of a chest thing there. But yeah. You've now got a new Mitsubishi car as well, so that's good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, hang on, they're pulling it up with it now. They're pulling up. There's a, Oh. Beep, beep, beep. All right, that's a... Oh... Beep! Beep! Beep! Alright, that's a Honda! I don't want that one! Well you said Honda, really? You said Honda!

Oh no, sorry, no, go back! Porsche! Yeah, I was gonna say! Upgrade your slits, mate. You need better slits. Porsche 911! Hey! Now... It was a nutsum! Yeah he's yelling these ones.

You're gonna have to wait two years for that delivery mate. That was a full yell. I just can't wait to become a bat guy because all the ones that I've got is Graham Crackers today is looking to be a Wonderful little two-minute noodles. I'll do that. He'll just basically whatever my comedy piece. I've just done. He'll just redo it

Yeah, it's totally slightly it used to do it like the following episode or whatever now He just says it straight after I do it straight after right I'll be doing this is the other thing that I've done straight after you which is my big announcement this episode. You got an exclusive. I've got an exclusive. That's Dan's thing. That's mine. I should really, shall I keep this exclusive till next episode? No I'll do it now. Yeah. Well I was really keen this Sparrowmancer story from last episode about her saying that influences are on the fall and you know and that my influencer career was very short. Yeah. Yeah. I barely remember it. I just wanted to put it to the test and I thought what a better way to put it to the test. I was inspired by this back guy to join this website called Cameo to test the influence of status.

What? For a start, wait a minute, what's a back guy? Is that what you're saying? That's you. That's your, and we're back. You're the back guy. Oh, right. Oh, I get it now. Okay. Yep. Carry on. I thought it was some sort of terminology I was not getting. Hang on. I'm, I'm hipper than he is. The backstreet. Remember? I was not getting hang on. I'm I'm Give us a give us an example buttons of one of your cameo messages Wow This is the thing. I haven't to say it. I'm gonna request it but my little experiment so far Has totally proved the experiment's 100% correct.

Oh really? So you jumped on Cameo. Yeah I started an account and everything. And you've had received nothing? Nothing. Well if I looked you up right now you'd be on there. No you wouldn't. I'm telling you right. You know what he's doing here, he's doing an advertisement for his own personal Cameo something.

No no I'm not. Well you've done it, it's too late now. You've cameo Well, you've done it's too late now you've brought it up you've talked about it, but if you if you search it up then Read it out on buttons. I co-host the cryptid factor podcast alongside my best buddies Podcasting hero dan shriver a comedian legend riz Darby where we yarn about all wonderful things weird and unknown yeah 39 pounds for a video that's pretty good 40 bucks I'd spend 40 you'll get some coming through now I think but you're gonna be I think you're gonna end up with a lot so you're already far too busy well I did the one problem that I had is that the one of the bigger reasons that I did it I was thinking that maybe because you

just had a big birthday recently, Reese, that people would get me to do you birthday messages and nobody requested I thought they're gonna come flooding in saying can you please it's my friend Reese's birthday Can you please make a move? but I think you will get some now that we've advertised it on here and Knowing you because you've you're so busy You'll probably end up just doing these on your way to work in the car on the freeway So for those audiences out there that are gonna spend that 40 quid

You will receive you'll be a lot of background noise You'll probably get his wife or his kids yelling in the background well you'll get the traffic report though I can definitely do a traffic you know he might even be on the roof building something and he'll be like oh yeah look after yourself you guys tomorrow is always another day I don't even know what cameo is. I have no idea what just signed up, bro. Well, good luck.

Good luck is all I can say. It's a lot of fun. It's a lot of fun. But I find myself sometimes too busy for the tidal wave of requests. I do try to do them as often as I can. Look at that. You're charging the same amount as Dr. Carl from Neighbours is. That's what you valued yourself as. I mean it's a bit on the nose. Of who?

Me or Dr. Carl? For him! To think he can charge as much as buttons. I mean. Yeah exactly. You're almost twice as much as Darth Vader. That's what you're charging. Is that right, Jason? Yeah, well, I'm... I'm... I'm... Well, I'm... I'm on the good side, aren't I? I'm part of the rebel alliance, so...

Well, you need the funds to build the spaceships to attack the empire, don't you? Exactly. Anyway, I just thought that I should announce that all the Esperamancer predictions are coming correct. So all of those other ones, I mean, we should now expect the female president. Mm. Well, it's funny when we did that in January, and that was way before the Kate Middleton saga. And there was a Esperamanansa, what do you call them? Prediction. Prediction, thank you.

That there was basically gonna be something in the royal family like trouble or a possible marriage thing. But, and I did think, oh heck, here we go. But it has simply come out today that she has a cancer diagnosis and that's why she's been unwell and not in the public eye.

God, people went crazy over that. I know. The fact that they couldn't see her. I've never seen anything like it online. Yeah. You know. I know. The news in general, all the major TV station news type things were picking it up as well. And it just goes to show that, yeah, I guess one of the most famous people in the world when they come out of the public eye for a little bit of time, people are like, no, I'm not happy with that. Something's gone wrong. And when you think about it, that's how connected we are in today's world. No matter who you are, if you're on social media, if you've got a presence, and that's connected to a device of some sort, and you're out there,

people know who you are, you can't go into hiding, You can't stop emitting your energy through electric means to everyone. Without, no, no, I did peter out, so I should have dropped it there. Doot, doot, doot. Hang on, they're taking my Honda away. Oh God. This is what happens. The slit. You missed the slit, mate. Leave

it! Right, mate. Yeah, your slot was too big, mate. There was too much air there. You could drive a bloody truck through there. We hear that. You lost your back status. Now just the wear guy. We're taking it all back. Your back status. Back man. Introducing Uber Teen Accounts, an Uber account for your teen with always on enhanced safety features. Your teen can request a ride when you can't take them. You'll get real-time notifications along the way. Your teen feels the sense of independence. You can follow their entire route on a live tracking map.

Your teen will get assigned a top rated driver. You'll get peace of mind. Uber Teen Accounts. Invite your teen to join your Uber account today. Available in select locations. See app for details. Hey, how's this? I'm reading a book by Margaret Atwood at the moment, and this is a weird story.

It's not topical, obviously, but fits into weirdness. Canadian nature writer Ernest Thompson Seton had an odd bill presented to him on his 21st birthday. It was a record kept by his father of all the expenses connected with young Ernest's childhood and youth, including the fee charged by the doctor for delivering him. What? What he was worth?

So he handed that to him. Hey, he gave him the full bill. He said this is what you owe me for raising you, including the doctor who delivered you the bill for that. And he paid it. No. Out of duress? Like, was it that their relationship bust up up or was it a joke sounds like it was

pretty busted prior to that yeah oh my god what was the total I don't know that's that's all that Margaret gives us in that book sounds like a good book I was lucky enough was on the way back from Adelaide in the airplane the other day got to sit next to an author I should run up and hit you the book so I can call her out. Anyway, this probably won't make the episode She there's this well, it better not now. Otherwise you're wasting my time I'll be really pissed off. Come on, quickly. I can't be bothered now. I can't be bothered. I know the thingy, man.

No, it's coming back. What's this one? Oh, the Mitsubishi's coming in. I've got the Mitsubishi going. I've done a good bit there. Thank you. And somebody's just taken my Graham crackers away. God damn it.

These are Graham's. You're not having these. What are you doing with Graham's crackers? I was going to talk about them! Well talk about how you're stalling them. Well I was going to say that I've sat next to a woman who's just written a book, an author. She was flying over to LA to do a book tour and she's written a book about the healing power of humor and laughter and she's spent two decades researching and figuring out the positive benefits of laughter and

Her name is Ros-Ben Moshi The books only just come out so but she's a researcher at La Trobe University in Melbourne And she's a leading positivity and laughter for well-being therapy academic. And I was talking to her about the amount of people that write to us and say to us that they, you know, were going through a hard time or were sick or unwell and that our ridiculousness really helped them. And she confirmed and said that the benefits of laughter, it's untapped that researchers

are only now figuring out exactly how great it is. Outside of obviously just making you feel better, it's actually also a weight loss regime that I'm starting called, um, Laugh It Off. And apparently you can lose a little bit of weight when you laugh. And so I'm thinking of starting a weight loss club, which is called Laugh It Off. Yeah right. Why don't everyone just turn up in their kind of physical attire and you'd be in the front and it's a bit like Jazzercise. And you're up the front there and you're kind of, okay guys! And then they're basically standing there making everyone laugh and everyone's working out.

You know, you start like everyone's jogging on the spot yeah and laughing at the same time at what you're saying yeah you're like the laugh leader well no but interestingly exactly that there is a thing called laugh yoga there's a couple of guys at the back that aren't finding you funny and they're like really annoyed and everyone's kind of laughing and stuff like that but there's two guys at the back don't get your humor they're sort really annoyed and everyone's kind of laughing and stuff like that but there's just two guys at the back, don't get your humor they're sort of moving on the spot and like looking around going oh I don't find this funny and then they look down and they're starting to put on weight

they start and they go oh no! oh hey! and you're like oh you better find this funny! start laughing mate, start laughing! hurry up! well there's those groups that do forced laughter as well yeah yeah there's the laugh yoga. Yeah. Oh, is that what that is?

Yeah. Yeah. I thought it was just Americans. I met a woman called Carmel Greenwood. She's like a psychic and she used to work for Princess Diana back in the day. And she does laugh therapy. And she came to our house when I was 12. And she showed us and she just wouldn't stop laughing. And it went for like 30 minutes and it was really intense. And then before she left she gave me a cassette which was two sides of her just laughing. Just both sides. What? Oh my god.

There was nothing else to it. What are you supposed to do with that? I think join in. Just listen to it. I think the idea is it's meant to be infectious. Oh right. And then you start laughing and then you keep laughing. I think she's thinking of hiccups. So I've put out a new CD range called Hiccupping. And there's two different speeds. There's me hiccupping with food and me hiccupping

without and me hiccupping as I'm walking. The latest album from Backman. Listen to Yawning, his third and greatest album. Yawn Along with Backman. That's what it is. Yawning, not hiccuping. No, it can't be. Hiccuping is a hard thing to say. Hippocang. Hiccuping is not contagious, is it?

No. But yawning is. Yawning is. Why wasn't there a big pandemic for yawning when that started getting real contagious? I don't think it kills you. Oh, that's that one. I think it just puts you to sleep. We've got a lot of guys yawning in this section.

We've had to fence it off, Okay, don't come near these guys You gotta start yawning. I need to go Through you go. You're in there now Why is this late nice boys he's on the ground he's on the ground he's down We're gonna hiccup right here. I'm just recording an album actually That's not gonna sell mate. It works with laughter mate, sold out. My one double sided cassette sold straight away. Hey let's do a bit where we all laugh and see if the listeners will get

into it as well. So Buttons you start off, you can be the first laugher and then Dan you come in a little bit later after that and then I'll come in and we'll go for a little bit and we'll just see if that's a real benefit for the um and if you're listening to this guys listening to the podcast no matter where you are you join in as well especially when I get in there with the main laughter at the end when the back guy comes in yeah I see what you did there you put yourself at the back again Mr. Backman okay here we go you kick it off this will be good for people back man okay yeah exactly weight loss get ready here we go it's really hard to start laughing from nothing here we go don't screw this up What? What? That was... Wait what? This is me laughing!

You look like you're in pain! Oh my god. He was a bad starter. I think. You honestly look like you've stubbed your toes. This is why I wasn't a good ant guy! You sound like Santa slipping off someone's roof. Ho ho ho ho!

That's my laugh! I think I'll start the laughing then. Okay. Here we go, join in guys. Here we go, this is for everyone. Here we go. Hahahaha! That's a sentence you still can't do it.

What's going on? This is my laughter! I'm actually properly laughing. Why are you laughing? This is so ridiculous. Ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Yeah, you went silent. It's more of a face. I've got a face laugh. You were facing and rocking, but there was nothing, there was no sound. There's a bit of movement, so I must laugh now. I think we go back and forth with that, do you? No, there was a laugh, there was a sound.

I'm making lots of really funny sounds. Now I think about it, I think you're a one note laugher from my memory. You're sort of like a, ha! And that's it. That's all we get. Yeah, that's all you get. Yeah. One note face laugher.

You do get a big face of joy. There's definitely some enjoyment there. You can see it, you know, that's infectious. But not so good for the podcast. Do you know why I can tell that I was actually laughing? How? Because I'm actually standing on a set of scales and I'm now actually two pounds lighter. Oh wow! You're fl- Oh my god!

Just saying! So I laugh it! I can tell you! Laugh it off folks! Once you make your way through the yawn quarantine, line up and sign up for Laugh it Off, he's over there. You won't be able to hear the guy, but trust me, he's laughing! Imagine people come along to my laugh yoga class and they're all standing there 20 minutes and going is he gonna

actually laugh? When's class begin yeah. I swear to God I'm putting on weight waiting for this that's why they call it weight. Especially because they give out free doughnuts at the desk. I mean cheapest. I just got a Porsche guys for my wake joke. Porsche has been delivered. Thank you. I think you missed that joke Leon but it was very good. No I didn't get it. I didn't. Clearly I'm not getting my graham crackers back anytime soon. Get the Mitsubishi out of here. Get that, yep. Just leave the Porsche. Thank you.

You're going to have to slit in a jet boat somewhere in this because you've now got your Porsche. What else are you going to get? Yeah. We've only gotten into this far of the show and haven't yet, apart from the Loch Ness Monster, talked about any other cryptids. Are we, like, for a cryptid podcast, have we got any cryptid news to actually impart?

Well, it does feel weird that we haven't officially done Weekly World Weird News, and I think we are gonna get some complaints there, but basically we forgot to say at the start of this show that this more of a, what did you call it Dan? It's like a debrief off the back of the mix. Yeah, that's right. We're basically spending this episode to freak the hell out about what happened in the last episode and chat about it. It's kind of like a calm down period for us. Obviously a lot of laughter involved and a bit of weight loss,

but I think mainly it's chatting about a phenomenon. Like once in 15 years, this kind of thing rolls around. Of course we we've had another word exclusive straight away, but I think, yeah, we just wanted to kind of go, thank you fans for listening. Thanks for supporting us over the years. And we really feel like we've given you guys something this time or at least last week, more than just your usual hilarity antics and weirdness.

We gave a bit of verified cryptozoological analysis that stamps us into the world. If we weren't already in that world, of course we believe we are, but we've had some official kind of non-humorous green light go ahead to prove that we have a worthy place in the cryptozoological world. One thing I'm really interested about is watching how it plays out now because the video is there. The news has been reported in multiple newspapers and websites, but what we're about to see,

I guess, is proper analysis of the video and whether or not it's taken seriously what it's going to do to Chi's life. Is she going to be doing sort of like the conference circuits? That's certainly not what she's looking for. But you know, if someone says we'll fly you over to America to do this thing, who knows, you might think it's a fun trip to do. We certainly know that there are interested parties who want to get in touch to get licensing of that video to now put it onto TV shows and so on. And for me, what I'm most

curious about is to see where, as we were saying at the top of the show, people who come in with negative comments, I want to see them start, or I want to see what it's like on the inside to watch people claiming that the footage is faked and that it's been tampered with, because we know it hasn't. And that we know it's not. Yeah. So we can see from the inside what maybe sometimes when we're watching other people's footage on this show and we're going,

ah, I don't know, it looks like, you know, we're suddenly on the inside now. And so that's, for me, it's going to be a very fascinating next few months. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. And for me, I'm just really excited about the next exclusive where people suddenly realize that we are a fantastic vehicle for getting cryptid sighting footage released and then you know Chi and Steve obviously came to us and so now expecting a flood of anybody gets anything weird on there I mean who better to come to me what I'm hopeful for is that in the next 50 years by the time Reese turns a hundred He can also tick off Bigfoot, Yeti, maybe Chupacabra.

We'll get them all for sure. Well, that's a good point. By the time you pass away at the ripe old age of 100, Reiss Derby is going to have discovered every single cryptid by the time he moves on. Yeah, and you know that does bring me to this video. I did make recently which I'll play for you Here we go No, don't take One one second one second, dude one second, okay Okay, here we go Big day for the cryptid factor. We have now successfully

Okay, here we go. Big day for the cryptid factor. We have now successfully helped to prove the existence of three cryptids for those that follow. So, the jupacabra, the thunderbird, and now Nessie. This is a big one. So, if you haven't seen our latest podcast, check it out. There is a video as well, which buttons rendered using 70 photographs to turn into a video of the creature that is undeniably in the lock. So yeah, you'll hear about it. The press are going crazy. And we're already crazy, so it's a good fit. Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha!

Ha ha! Ha ha! Sorry, I didn't find that funny. I was just trying to shed a couple of kgs there. Well actually that was the first time I've heard you laugh normally. But my point really there was I can make a good video, but also, yeah, we've done the Thunderbird, we did Chupacabra with one of our failed pilots, proved the existence of that Thunderbird.

You proved once again, buttons there with your scientific experiment, that that really was a bird out of the ordinary with its wingspan. I forgot about that, yeah. After meeting Chief Huffer and- RIP. What not, so I think that's another tick on our list

Yeah, so this is our third cryptid proven and I think you know, there's not too many to go I think it's an achievable list by the time and I'm a hundred that we knock them all off. Yeah You know, I mean not kill them Prove them! Prove them! Yeah. No, I said prove them! I'm a man of time! You must be listening, like, live.

You know what, the whole thing was really exciting, but I'll tell you one thing that wasn't exciting, which was releasing a world-exclusive press release as all you guys go to sleep and leave me to deal with all of our cock-ups. I had the most stressful day in my life when that went out. I didn't have the logins to the Facebook, to the YouTube, to the anything that people needed. Messaging Helena and buttons at like 3am New Zealand time going, guys get up! Guys! Guys! What's worse is that whilst I was helping upload the press release and the videos that I edited and what have you, I was actually on a completely different film shoot over

in Adelaide in the Barossa Valley with terrible internet, and my friend the chef hassling me all the time to come in and eat the meal because it's going cold, and messing around with me trying to close my laptop, you know, as jokey jokes. And I'm there doing this most important thing of my entire life, when I go to bed, and leave you with all of that mess as well. It was chaos, but it was fun. Next world exclusive, I'm flying over to New Zealand and we do it. I'm flying over to New Zealand and we do it. Let's plan it so that we don't have anything else on, and that we're in the same time zone and that we can concentrate on it. But you know, it wouldn't be a Cryptid Factor world exclusive if there wasn't complete chaos.

And that's what I was thinking when I was sort of watching it unfold just before I went to bed. That was your message. thinking when I was sort of watching it unfold just before I went to bed. Your last message was basically, this is the most cryptid factor thing that's ever happened. Yeah. The mess of watching me in buzzards trying to... And then I woke up in the morning to news headlines, Hollywood superstar discovers logics. It wasn't superstar by the way, I might have added that. I believe he's a superstar. Hollywood bit time actor.

Excuse me. New Zealand influencer. New Zealand influencer. There was one article which said Hollywood superstar Reece Darby, New Zealand director Leon Kirkbeck, and Dan. There's nothing. No qualification. Dan. There was another one, but our local paper here said Hollywood superstar megalomaniac Restarty. And Kirkbeck. Not even Leon, no buttons, just my last name, just Kirkbeck.

And no Dan Schreiber, just like Restarty and co-host Kirkbeck. Wasn't it his assistant? And his assistant. His assistant. Cameo-host Kirkbeck. Wasn't it his assistant and his assistant? His assistant and cameo newbie Kirkbeck. Leon, you've put 24 hours as your delivery time for anyone who asks for a cameo from you. That's not gonna happen. That is not gonna happen. What a fool. That's why you haven't got anyone contacting you because they know that's impossible.

They know there's no way, it should be three months. I thought that was 24 years, is that hours? Oh shit, oh no, no, I definitely can't, I definitely can't. But I thought I could read them an excerpt from one of my cryptid books from the cryptid library here, because therefore I get to read the books that I'm not reading and get paid to do it. Yeah, forced. If you pay me 40 bucks I will read my box. I thought that's what it was. I thought I was actually signing up to something to be able to get cameo spots in movies. Have you just been uploading audition videos? Yes!

I thought that sounded well. Bond! James Bond! I just walked past laughing, my famous laugh. My one note face laugh. Hey guys, I had one story that I just wanted to to quickly share just to be able to get some kind of animal-y weekly world weird news. Well let's do a sting let's do the cryptid sting. Okay. Attention all personnel it's time for this week's cryptid. Help me!

This one is not so much a cryptid but I think it's probably an example of how cryptids can be created. The headline is simply, scientists create hybrid fish by accidentally combining two different species. The thing there is, is the accidental part. What kind of scientists are they when they accidentally create... They weren't even intending to create a new species and they've gone ahead and done it, which is great, which then we just kind of go, well,

are there creatures out there in the world that are hybrids that we have accidentally been created with? Well, we know there are. Yeah, we know there are. Yeah, but do they account for some of the strange sightings of animals that people go, what was that? Was that like an elephant man? Like a small elephant man?

It may well just be that an elephant in a man accidentally created an elephant man. Anyway, moving along from that. That very poor example. Why is this thinking about Dan's cryptid from the, uh, the, from where he grew up? Oh, Nari, yeah. Anyway, this new hybridised fish has been unveiled in Hungary after researchers unintentionally blended eggs and sperm from two different species. Clumsy, the blending of eggs from the Russian sturgeon and the American paddlefish sperm.

What was, sorry, what was clumsy? What was that just then? Well, they put the wrong egg with the wrong sperm. Was that your own comment, or was that in the article? Oh no, that was my own comment. That was your own? Oh, okay. Sorry.

You said it like Reese dropping in like a one-rooted ad. Oh! Oh, god, they're delivering me a clumsy person. Sorry. You said it like Reese dropping in like a one rooted ad. Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Guys, they're delivering me a clumsy person. Oh. Damn it.

My slips. I've gotta get better at my slips. Uh, bottle of whiskey. The blending of eggs from the Russian sturgeon and American paddlefish sperm led to the accidental discovery of the hybridised fish, nicknamed now the Sturdlefish, believing that what they had accomplished was impossible due to the two species not having the same physical features, they redid the experiment and had the same outcome.

So the researcher says, "'I did a double take when I saw it. "'I thought hybridization between sturgeon and paddlefish.' "'No way is that possible, they said. So anyway, they think though, like most hybridized species, like the mule and the like, that it is probably not able to breed,

whatever you call it. Mules can breed, can't they? No. Hybrid animals are sterile. So a mule, am I right? And a mule is a cross between a donkey and a horse. I think that's right. Oh I see. So the mule is a different thing to the donkey. Yeah, because donkeys are awesome because they go all

day long but they're stubborn and horses are great but they're a little bit stupid and so they went well hang on What if we have this awesome thing, which is, you know, got the better quality of the best of both worlds, best of both worlds. And they made the mule, apparently. Okay. Yeah. Love it. Hi. Well, I've got some cryptid news here from England. We know what the UK is big on the ABCs, the alien big cats, the sightings are coming in hot in the last couple of years, you know, and so there's no two ways about it. There are definitely big cats there, but what we haven't had from the UK in a while is an animal out of place. Other than that, here in Devon, a wallaby has turned up.

Oh, oh. Yeah, red-necked wallaby. So a fury, fury or furry marsupial has startled a driver and their passenger in Devon. This is an article that came in from one of the fans. Devon Live. So this is the newspaper. There's a beautiful little picture. So the person got footage of this little Wallaby hopping along the road in mid-Devin. So they stopped their car and they took a little video.

Wallabies should not be in Devon, guys. How on earth did that get there? We do have kangaroos and wallabies in zoos here. It is possible for an escaped one, I'm guessing. Oh, yeah. I mean, that's obviously what it is. Okay. It's still out in the wild. I mean I don't know if there's any update, whether it's been captured. Let's have a look and see if there's any, I haven't all that surprised, he says, by the sighting, the presence of redneck

wallabies in the UK has been quite well reported in recent years. And it is clear we have a small breeding population of them here in Britain. So it is more likely than an escaped zoo situation, or maybe originally it was. But they breed not quite like rabbits, but they breed well these wallabies. We have them here in New Zealand. So they did come from Australia. We had them over in Cowale Island, which I'm looking at now from my house. There's a wallaby population over there. But now there's wallabies in the mainland in New Zealand and they've actually become a pest. Yeah. So and that's happened in the last decade. So it looks like you guys are

now getting a wallop from the Wallabies and you're going to have to just watch their population numbers. I'd love some local Wallabies. They'd be amazing. We know what happens when Australians go out in the wild and start a breeding population. And that's happened in London. That's happened out in Sheppard's Bush. I know I was walloped by a wallaby, my Australian wife, she got me in Sheppard's Bush. Yeah, she gave you a big wallop didn't she? And I think they go hard, you know the term go hard or go home. They go hard and they don't go home. Eventually they do when their visas run out. But even then, even then you can't guarantee it.

Aussies are just very confident. And um, so if you do see a wallaby, just yeah, just be... Run! Run! Run! Shoot it! Shoot it! Laura Pess!

I've got a hybrid story here to chuck in as well. Okay. There's a new theory that's been put forward by a UFO hunting exorcist called Reverend Bill Beane. I love how you said that, like it's a UFO hunting exorcist, like it's a group of people, like tons of them. He sounds like he deserves his own TV show. He's like a Pentecostal church minister, you know.

Well I think it's almost like he's got the full bingo on every reference here, because he's a UFO hunting exorcist who says that Bigfoot and Sasquatch are alien-human-bear-hybrid babies. Wow. That's quite... What a theory! What a call. Yeah. That's his theory. It says, uh, Reverend Bean has come up against, over the course of his eventful life, a 57 year old seen aliens and blames them for otherworldly sightings

here on our own planet. And then, sorry, I'm scrolling down on the article, but there's another headline that just says anus-eating virus that kills has come directly into my eye line there. If that's the next pandemic, an anus-eating virus, then the toilet paper situation is gonna be legit this time. Oh my god, yeah, it is really gonna be. The nostalgia of the yawn pandemic will all just be talked about. One of the good old days.

Got the headline under that is Goose Banished from Milton Keynes. OK. Oh, what's it done? Rude as usual. But it's been it's been sent 38 miles away to stop him from coming back. Anyway, back to Reverend Bean. He says, I've had just about every supernatural experience you can imagine. The UFO aspect has been very prominent.

Bean believes unidentified... Mr. Bean, by the way, is an alien, if you think to the intro of the show. He is too. He gets beamed down. Reverend Bean believes unidentified flying objects could be divine Merkabah chariots, vehicles he claims carried Satan and a third of the angels down to earth after they were cast out of heaven. They came down here and took human women and produced a hybrid offspring of giants called the Nephalem. Yeah. Okay, we're into that territory now.

Nephalem, yeah. You're into the realms of QAnon now. Yeah. So we should probably pull out slightly. Let's back away. Let's back away. Let's go back to the goose. Back up. Back up. What about that goose?

In Milden Keynes. What did he do? Yeah, that's more us. Oh my god, he was sent away after a single complaint. No. Labelled him a half-fuzzard. No, one complaint. Bruce.

The rule is you should have two written a single complaint. No. No, one complaint. Bruce. The rule is you should have two written and three verbal. Yeah. The three quacked. The bottle of Thompson whiskey. I was just thinking the other day actually about... You're gone, mate, and there's your bill. He's called Bruce, by the way. case yeah, well exactly Bruce the grey-legged goose Spruce goose oh yeah

That's how quick my thoughts are just an example of how quick they can be He's been moved to an animal sanctuary And he was moved by someone called Ali short who had to disguise herself when she went to collect Bruce for the Last time because he recognized her. She said I saw him in cold concrete head under wing fast asleep I parked my car put on my baseball cap at sunglasses So I wasn't easily recognizable and approached slowly sideways Wow nice enough to put down food got Bruce's attention which enabled him to catch go. What are we? What are we doing? We had a fucking we found Nassi last week.

What a bowl I did as well. Well, while we're on the, on the avian subject, I do have another, uh, cryptid here, scientists have actually photographed a lost bird, not seen for decades during an expedition in Africa. Okay. So that's quite impressive. The yellow crested helmet strike. Yeah, helmet strike. What, the yellow?

The yellow crested helmet strike. Helmet strike. Helmet strike? It's a species of bird categorised as a lost bird by the American Bird Conservancy, having not been spotted in the wild in nearly two decades. So it's a bit like the princess thing when you haven't been seen for two decades, you're well for humans, it's like, obviously two months or two weeks now. But for birds, they get two decades, and then they're announced as lost.

That's a long time. Yeah, I don't know if that seems a long time, but I think it's because, you know, you could probably go a few years without thinking about a particular bird, and then maybe you might think about it, then give it another couple of years, and before you know it, you're on like 18 years,

and you go, hang on a minute, I think that bird might be lost. Let's wait another couple of years before we announce it. Anyway it was found during a six weeks expedition that ran from the end of last year into January this year deep in the mountains of the Republic of Congo. I like the exhibition and the expedition. There has been no exhibition I should clarify that. that there's there has been no exhibition I should clarify that there's only one photo so it'll be a small exhibition when it does go online I'd still go in the museum wait so researchers from the University of Texas found the bird and were able to capture the first recorded photos of the bird since it was considered lost.

So this is lovely. This is finding something that they thought had gone and hasn't, which does happen now and again. And it's always good news to know that species aren't extinct when they've just sort of chopped off social media for a while, I think. And they're just sort of causing a bit of a stir on TikTok. Do you want to see a photo of it? No I want to save it until the exhibition. Oh do you? Oh it's a lovely wee thing, look at it. Beautiful. Oh that's beautiful. Yeah. All right well any more cryptid updates or shall we call it a day so we can start preparing for next week because it's a real rush now isn't it? It real next exclusive start going in and doing some actual research to be able to make these shows good again I mean shucks. Yeah, we promise next week. We will be back to weekly world weird news This was just a real debrief a real Wow. Look at us. What's going on? Isn't it exciting? Let's calm down and carry on I think

It is keep calm and carry on oh is that oh that actually is a thing isn't it oh yeah that's like the big world war two oh yeah i thought i came up with something there you heard it here third that's going in the book that's going in the book. That's definitely in the book. What's the actual one? Keep calm and carry on. Yeah, calm down. My one. Calm down and carry on.

Mine might even be a little bit better. I think it's like this, it's a little bit more tele-offy. It's like, calm down, carry on. It depends who's saying it. Calm down, you bloody idiot. It depends who's saying it. Calm down, you bloody idiot. And also Jarvis needs the works. That's our editor, our artificial...

Where is he exactly? Artificially intelligent editor. He's like, can you do, you guys do another podcast? Cause this is my only income at the moment. So, so Jarvis, this is for you. The truth of that... Get to work. That's not even, that's, that's not even laughable. That's actually probably the-

That's what he said to me. No, he's a schemer. I remember when we were in LA, I was in a car with Reese and your daughter Helena Buttons and a message came through saying that Jarvis had just successfully purchased 30 sinks from someone. That's right. And guess how many of those sinks he's sold since then. How many?

About the same amount of cameos that I've had to do. Which again, by the way, if you search Leon Buns Kirkbeck on cameo, forty quid, very very good price, I'll read a chapter of a book for you. I think that shouldbeck on Cameo, 40 quid, very, very good price. I'll read a chapter of a book for you. Sure. I think that should be exclusively what you do. Yeah. He will read his own books because can we please get these books read?

Are you reading them out loud or just to yourself? Yeah. Just to myself. Which will be out loud, of course. That would be quite good if actually you're reading it, but you can only just hear you go, and then they went down to the shops near and it's like, you know how we're moving I'd be quite good if actually you're reading it, but you can only just hear you go. And then they went down to the shops. You know how people read it.

You can only just hear them like they're still reading out loud, really quietly. It's been two years since the 20s. Let me put it this way. There's a selection of any book here in the cryptid library, as long as I'm halfway through reading it. Which is actually quite a selection because all of these books I've sort of started reading some of it and sort of given up because I haven't understood half of it. We'll give just like a four sentence demo just to give a taster of what people can expect. Yeah, that's good.

Just do a little teaser of what we're looking at here for future cameo types. Here's a book I've just pulled at random. It's called A Space Woman Speaks by Rolf Talano. It's a lovely old book. I'm just going to open it up to a random spot. Here we go. Is that how you're going to do your cameos? Yeah, right.

You know the cameo. Wait. Black metal arms. Love your planet. You know the cameo. Wait. What? What? What? So there you go. I think I just lost two kgs. Please do that with your cameo.

So folks on the video here, he just held the book up. All you could see was his giant fingers and a piece of the back cover of the book. No, nothing else. And then a slight mumble. Yeah, there you go. I'll buy that. I might spend 40 bucks on that actually later on. Right.

World exclusive. I've just booked Dr. Carl. I'm going that way. I can't believe, yeah, Darth Vader's available and people are going to go for that? Come on! Guys, guys, you get a birthday message in the form of me reading a book and you lose some weight. It's a weight loss scheme and a cameo all boiled into one.

So I'm just saying, you get a lock for your money, put your 40 quid. Laugh it off! You heard it here, sir! This book here though, though interestingly a space woman speaks He's gonna start talking about it. Yeah what is that book? Well it's about the actual first we're supposed to read was the gnaws who operate most but not all of the strange craft seen in your skies are one of the elder races or guardians of your planet at the present time we are the largest

group operating in the solar system, although there are also members of other races present. These elder races have been guarding your planet ever since the first humans appeared on it. At the same time, they have been attempting to tutor you and to guide your development using subtle pleasures, subtle pressures, not subtle pleasures. That'd be something else. We call them slits in the business. Slits? Yeah.

Subtle slits, subtle pressures, which would not hamper your own self-development. So this is like an auto-writing book. This is a book written by a space person that's come through the hands of somebody else. Oh, I see. Right. Didn't we try to auto write once or something as a group? And then we held up our things that we'd written or something. Oh, yeah. I'm still with it.

No, that was still happening. We did the old you continue the sentence. Yeah. That's right. I think that was my first trip to be part of the cryptid factor like close to ten years ago. Wow. Alright, well that's a nice little slit down memory lane there.

It is, yeah. There's also this book here, Chant and Be Happy. No, we can't afford it. We can't afford it, Buttons. Yeah. We've already just spent 40 bucks. So don't start doing your cameos now, mate. I'm just going to take excerpts out of this episode and just repost.

Well, you can, because you've got to put examples up on your cameo side. That's probably why you haven't had any contact yet. Yeah, he's got a video up there. What are you saying in it? Buttons. Yeah. Oh, no, you got to play that. This will be hilarious. Don't play it in it buttons? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, no, you gotta play that. That's a bit. I don't play it Anyway, I'm doing uh, what is this called? This is called cameo. I'm doing cameo more than anything just for

Something you keep me busy during my mini busy. keep you busy you're the busiest guy i know my little bar at home where uh well i don't do a lot of drink because i don't drink a great deal well no well comparatively not a great deal but i do a lot of reading because i've got lots of books in here i've got my cameos that maybe you could have me read some excerpts from some of my more interesting books like some of the ones like Stalking the wild pendium and a space woman speaks Books UFO books you've got Morgan Windy chewing gum I've seen that that's a collector's card

In the cameos I can still read that I can also read anything I can read if it's got words on it I'll read it so we could maybe do some terror. I don't know. It's up to you. Tell me what to do. I'm New to this and probably not very good, but it's cheap. It's cheap. You get what you pay for. I look forward to cameoing you soon. I look forward to cameoing you soon. Oh my God. That's so embarrassing.

That's awesome. Awesome. I can't wait till next week episode so we can see how many cameos you've had to do I'm probably just gonna be locked in this room for a little bit. They're just gonna be going Okay, well i'm gonna get going i've got to do a bit more maintenance around the house guys. Yeah. A big party's coming up so. Yeah, happy birthday Dobbs. Thank you.

I'm not going to see you on your birthday but yeah. Happy birthday episode. Thank you. It's Loch Ness Monster Discoverer to you guys, okay? That's my full title. No, I thought it was Hollywood Megastar. Isn't it? Isn't it? No, I thought it was Hollywood Megastar. Well look, you said mega, I said super, but if you want to keep adjusting it up those levels then that's going to cost you, talk to my cameo people. We all know what you really are.

You're the back boy. No, the back man. Yeah, I don't know about this term. I think I'm going to have to say no to it. No, but you created it. You wanted to be the back guy. No, I never said that. You came up with that idea. It was one word. I'm not known as the back guy. No, but I'm the wear man, which is a way cooler term. I'm the wear man. You're not. You're the broken exclamation mark guy that can't even pull it off. See you next week guys, bye! Bye!

Bye! That'll do. Oh my god. What was that? There was one mess of chemo head. That's what that was. You better call Jarvis and tell him he's got some work to do. Chuck him his 40 bucks. Introducing Uber Teen Accounts, an Uber account for your teen with enhanced safety features. Your teen can request a ride with top-rated drivers, and you can track every trip on the

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