The Cryptid Factor - #102 The Unprecedented Issue

Episode Date: January 18, 2025

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The Cryptid Factor with Reece Darby, Dan Schreiber and Buttons. It's the start of a new year, so wash those horrors out of your hair, because we've got the gear, so grab a beer, here here, and over there, we're back! Yay! 2025! Unbelievable. We are still the longest raining, longest running podcast in New Zealand. Yay!

We're still here guys. But we should mention we're third funniest. I listened to the other two really funny podcasts and they're really funny. Were they? Twice as funny or? Three times as funny. Were they? So we've got? Three times as funny. Were they? So we've got to be twice better to equal them. Yeah.

And then try and do four times as funny to get to the top next time. And then have four times as many listeners. Oh, wow. 2025 goals, guys! 2025 goals! I also understand that in order to qualify as being a New Zealand podcast It's a tough one for us because two-thirds of us are often overseas and away from New Zealand To keep us qualified as a New Zealand podcast Reese has taken a drastic move here and relocated to New Zealand for this episode

episode. Woohoo! He's with me, I'm touching him! They're touching me weirdly! So it's just after Christmas and we've survived, got through the silly season. Do you guys get any awesome presents? Oh, I mean it's never really about that, is it? It totally is! That's all it's about! Come on! The swag! No, what do you give a man who's got everything? That's what my wife always says. And I said, well, I sent you a list. Hahahaha! You know what's weird? You've got Reese in your house right now, Buttons. Physically. But I feel like

my entire Christmas, Reese was in my house. I went one day just into the lounge room, my boys are sitting watching a movie, and I hear a single line that says Yeah, where is that punk? And I was like, I know that In the new Richard Curtis that Christmas movie which we watched about 500 times over this Christmas period My boys absolutely love it. So every day virtually every hour I had Reese

I love it. So every day, virtually every hour, I had Reese's voice pounding out through the lounge room. I absolutely love paperclips. They're the Rolls Royce of holding things together. I love bridges! They're like roads which hover. That's so- that's beautiful. I haven't seen it yet. Oh, it's really lovely. Christmas has been in God now, so it might be until next year. I know, after half, twelve months of waiting. And of course we were watching Bad Jelly as well which you don't have in the UK yet. Binkle Bonk. The Tree Goblin. It's one of my favourite of all radio plays Bad Jelly the Witch by Spike Milligan. If you haven't listened to it go

and listen to it. It's incredible. That's very cool. Trying to think if I got any cool presents over the Christmas period. I'm just trying to think. Oh, yeah First of all, I got this. Wait, no. Oh, hang on. You ding-dong. I was trying to- He's doing a bit! Oh, sorry. I was trying to show you. I got this amazing batch of Cryptid Factor merch sent over by Halina and I am now completely Like look at this. Oh The hoodie! He's got a Cryptid Factor hoodie I finally for the first time ever got a Cryptid Factor t-shirt Oh you're officially part of the podcast now I mean yeah he was in the titles for a long time but until you get your white t-shirt

but never officially I had mine on the very first week So yeah, and wait till you see my shower You have not got the shower I mean if it got sent to me it would have gone up Well, that's become a cryptid because I don't know if you can get the shower curtain Yeah, still yet to see any fans turn up to live shows and shower curtain cosplay It'll happen

Some dopey awesome guy got me an old ancient radio set and a Morse code key for my Yeah for my Eagles nest in my beach house. Have you installed it yet? Yeah, it's up there next to Finn's typewriter Yeah, it's up there next to Finn's typewriter. Oh, the collection of olden days communication technology. Yeah. So that's really cool. That's real prepper energy, isn't it? It is very prepper.

No, it's very prepper. You're exactly right. Reece and I, one of the many things that we've talked about doing in the future is getting our ham radio license, largely because it'd be a lot of fun. And it's highly restricted. You're not supposed to be able to buy a ham radio license. Largely because it'd be a lot of fun and it's highly restricted. You're not supposed to be able to buy a ham radio set second hand. Really? Yeah because you're going to have a license to operate one but I bought one in an auction for Reese. There's like

this beautiful old one and so we're doing some illegal trading. We're probably going to be arrested now by the ham radio association. Well I'd like to see them arrest me I mean I'm qualified as an electronics communications operator from the Royal New Zealand signals corps destined you know honored by the Queen herself oh really did she come and honor you? wow yeah I was working for you know the crown so ham radio nuggets aren't gonna come and say hey dude you haven't got a license for this. Ham radio nuggets.

Oh yeah, well let me tell you what a coaxial cable is. Oh. Yeah. Have you adjusted the uh, UHV levels on a 77 set? Oh listen, this is legit stuff and he can also still do Morse. Yeah. That's why I gave him a Morse code key. I'm qualified. That's amazing.

I don't need a license. Reece Darby, license to communicate. In the army who did you talk to when you were talking on the ham radio? Well it wasn't a ham radio it was a proper military radio sets. We were communicating with the front line basically. The infantry would be communicating with us and then we would... something's happened out there. Sorry I didn didn't want to interrupt myself, but I did Can I go back to talking? Yeah, sure. Go ahead. So yeah, I'm just talking about army maneuvers basically training Yeah, right. Just talking to the front line like how many more sandwiches do you need up there? We've got a few left over Well, we've eaten all the ones you guys have given but we're still real hungry

because we've got another 6k march. We'll send some canteens some crypto factor canteens up. Over. You got any crypto factor t-shirts? No you'll spot you a mile away with those. Get a green one. Oh yeah okay. Now can you do that in Morse code? Oh it would take forever. Okay well I got a couple of cool presents. Yeah let's see. One of them here it's a Knight Rider Skeletrix car that you know you put on your radio controlled car set. Okay. But if you look closely. Oh it's signed. It's signed to Leon from David Hasselhoff. Wow. The Knight Rider himself given to me by a wonderful nugget. An old ham nugget. Ham nugget. That's cool.

And the other cool present I got, which is another submission to the Cryptid Museum here. Oh really? Helena, my lovely daughter and cryptid factor editor, made me a replica of the Edmund Hillary Yeti expedition thing. This was the very first ever entry into the actual legit cryptozoology museum in Portland, Maine. And I think Helena couldn't afford to actually buy that off them But that's a replica like an exact replica of the design exact replica But needle stitched or whatever you call it. What do you call it needle? stitched with a needle

That's really cool and like I bet Helena's done an exact copy of what it is but speaking about the original It's quite a last-minute dashed out flag, isn't it? I'll explain it for the people listening to podcasts. It's a white flag and it says the world book Encyclopedia, which is who funded the mission. There's a blue circle with like a big cat on top of the Everest ranges. I don't know what that's a snow leopard Maybe snow leopard. Yeah, that's probably right. It says underneath that led by Sir Edmund Hillary 1960 scientific expedition to the Himalayas amazing very cool. Very cool addition to the Cryptid bar slash museum. What a present go Helena actually Reese Reese This will be the first time that you will have seen

Hillary's backpack in person. Oh, I still haven't seen it Dan. Oh haven't you? Still haven't. No, I'm sitting here in the supposed house of the goddamn thing and it still hasn't been revealed. Well here I'll reveal it to you very shortly But then this is the other present that I got. I'm doing present flex here This is a little present given to me by a former world leader. Our former Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern was very kind. These are very cool. Gave me some Everest Himalayan whiskey glasses. Wow. So I haven't used those yet so I thought we could christen them today. Oh lovely. Beautiful whiskey glasses and look around outside, you've got the Himalayas embossed in glass. That's cool.

Because she's massively into exploration and explorers in the heroic age. And I guess her favorite expedition is the expedition to the South Pole. And the, what's his name? This is great radio, by the way. We thought we were doing a quick one. Shackleton's expedition. Yeah. So for a Christmas... Is that what you're trying to get to? That's what I'm trying to get to. Anyway. So do you want to see the backpack? Alright then come

on let's do this live on air. Oh I can see it wow. Oh my god. So for the listeners out there there's a part of the cryptid bar which has been velveted. Beautiful red velvet aligning the walls and the ceiling and the other wall opposite and then there's the backpack hanging on the wall on the velvet and with its own light bulb above it. Shining on it. Have you seen this Dan? I've not seen the new velvet because I had a crack at Leon saying why is this not on the wall? What's going on?

Yeah! Was it just on the floor? Yeah. Now it's in pride of place. Yeah, good. And now he's taken the bag off the wall and I'm now touching it. Holy jingoes. It's a wooden frame.

Man, the wooden frame is so beautiful. You can really... I'm smelling it now. The old canvas. It is 1950s. I'm gonna put it on because I want to feel like how it must have felt. Yeah. I'm assuming you put it on. Did you Dan? Did you have a try? I had to when we were getting on Air New Zealand. Oh you had to actually use it as a bag.

The way you guys have treated this, I'm just... Thank God I wasn't around. I would be very angry. Having said that, I am trying it on myself. I mean... It does suit you. You look like you're back in the military. Wow. Looks like you're wearing a signalman's backpack. Look at that. It is now on me.

That's cool. I tell you what, this feels like the perfect molding into my body. Like, I am exactly the same shape and size of Sir Edmund Hillary back in the day. You're destined to be an explorer. Wow. I'm going to wear this for the podcast, I think, guys. I think keep that on. It looks great.

Yeah. Yeah. He might actually channel through this backpack because I'm a bit of an empath and I'll be able to Is that what it is? Yeah, empath. Yeah, that'll do. I used to listen to the end people a lot when I was younger Whilst you're walking down a path. Yeah, well, I've walked along a lot of paths I'm a man of many paths in path. Yeah Cheers You know Alexander Hillary the grandson that we met there was a story he told us which we didn't mention last time which was

When we had the bag and he was looking at it He said he used to go over to his grandfather's house and when he got into becoming a hiker in his early days Yeah, he would take all of Edmund Hillary's old crampons. Were they called crampons? Oh, yeah Yeah, he would take those and he would go climbing with them and he would use all his old bags and stuff He was saying he would climb trees and whack them around the trees and as a little kid Yeah, yeah No regard for them at all they were just grandpa's stuff and then he had the people who collected it for the museums come over and he said they came in and

they were treating it like relics they had gloves on they had all these things going this hasn't seen any terrain outside of the himalayas since he used it and he was just silently embarrassed that he's been using them on local trees and with his mates for war games and stuff. Yeah, exactly. But you know, objects are there to be used and reused and passed on to other humans and in some ways is bizarre when you see things in a museum that haven't been touched for many many years.

They're no longer an object. I'm getting quite philosophical now, but they are... You're very empathy today. Yeah, it's the backpack, you see. It's making me vibe. And I think they're no longer objects. They become something that you just look at. So it's different. And I know that I can understand why they say,

don't touch this, when you used to be able to walk up the pyramids or used to be able to walk up Chichen Itza the ones in South America and stuff just clamber all over them Yeah, and I understand why because they are getting chipped away and ruined and stuff like that Well the volume of people now that's what they say about actually funny enough Everest as we drink from Everest glassware Isn't it? There's so many people walking up it now that there is a real thread of it shrinking because of the weight of all the people going up and reducing its stature. Really? So slowly.

Which is why I think time travel will be about people wanting to go back to places before they were ruined so that you can actually adventure tourism through time, which is what you were talking about, Dan, that time with the Titanic. Imagine going back to some of those places when they were relatively new and weren't damaged. The scheme before the real tourists come and ruin it. The virtual tourists. If Everest is shrinking, ironically, the tourism is probably what would end up saving it, because a new mountain would be crowned the tallest mountain and everyone would shift over to that and it would be allowed to rest.

Rest in peace? Yeah, it could finally chill for a bit. What happened to Everest? Oh well he's getting old now, you know, he's actually shrunken a bit. He's been beaten down, he's only third biggest now. A lot of people don't bother with it. A lot of people don't care. Remember when he used to be so good.

Yeah. Hey, we're busy sitting here talking about Christmas presents. And we haven't even mentioned the fact that there are UFO sightings everywhere around the world. And it's the end of days coming and Instagram feeds filled with people filming weird stuff in the skies. Are you getting that on your feeds as well, Dan? A lot of weird UAPs? Yeah, yeah. Like, because I think we're the kind of people that people who don't believe in that stuff will naturally send us all that stuff and chat to us about. So you can't escape it.

Everyone's going, what do you think? What's going on? Yeah, it's a fascinating time. It feels like we've been born at the exact right moment of where we started talking to space. We're 100 years into flight, right? Like technology has accelerated at an insane rate in our lifetime. So it's starting to feel like actually maybe we're getting to the point where we can communicate with other species if they're out there.

Yeah. This will be the first time. Mmm. So maybe we're more attractive to them because we've been sending messages out and they've seen us and found us. Who knows? I don't know what's going on, but it just feels like there's a lot of excitement in the air at the moment. Give us a theory on it, both of you, because we do need to discuss it, because it either means everything or it means nothing, right? Are you meaning the drones as well?

Yeah, if it is real, and my challenge is that I don't know that I believe any of it, because AI video now is so believable, like we talked about last time, but it is just everywhere and they seem very legit, but I find myself just scrolling past them now, kind of going, ah yeah, more of them. Unless we get a legitimate news article that reveals something that we don't know. Yeah. Because it's still unidentified and particularly with these drones I think I've been offline for the last couple of weeks so I haven't you know but I was really into them we're right up until that last podcast we did before Christmas and I, you know, revealed the information that everyone knew anyway. But is that, you know, they're

still coming. We still can't identify them. They might be coming from the oceans. And the last time I checked, the biggest theory, and I'm kind of in on this a little bit as a possibility, is that it's a PsiOPS operation, you know, they're testing, that there's an element of the government, a secret black ops element that we don't know, that even the most of the government don't know, that are testing these things out. And this is actually a hopeful thing, because if it's not that, then we really don't know. They're putting these things out to see how the public handle it, and handle not being told what they are and it's either an operation to test us so then they can then do that in other countries or they're

collecting data or it's foreign adversary that these things are Chinese drones that are coming in but I believe they would be shot down when that Chinese balloon was floating around they finally got rid of it. And it was a balloon it wasn't like some new age technology, it was basically a really shit zeppelin. Wasn't darting around and changing directions at, you know, at a random. My thinking is that one or two things,

like you say, PsyOps type thing, I find the irony is not lost on me that the very first place that these sightings and drones and UAPs were seen was New Jersey, which is the place where the War of the Worlds radio play was first played. Really? Yeah, Orson Welles radio play War of the Worlds was played on a radio station in New Jersey, and it was New Jersey people that were freaking out and getting ready to head for the hills because the radio show was made in the style of an actual news report of aliens landing and taking over.

And some people say that that was a PsyOp thing as well. The government got Orson Welles to write this radio play that they would broadcast in a way, see what people did, see if they were ready for the truth. And they freaked out and they started packing their cars and racing for the hills. And so now if they're doing it again to test to see if people freak out or not, you can guarantee by the videos I've seen on social media of people filming them, kind of going, take me with you, get me out of here. We're not freaking out.

They just want answers, but they're enjoying filming them. They are, yeah. And they're kind of worried because they keep saying, oh, they're no threat. Yep, someone in the government knows what they are, but don't worry about it. There's no threat. Okay, so it's an annoying, weird phenomenon that you're not explaining. Yeah. And we're supposed to just carry on with our lives.

And just go, I just don't know. Come and just see here. That's crazy. The other option I think is that if they are coming from outer space and what have you, you know, when you're walking down the street and you look at somebody and they're walking like a bit weird or they look a bit strange or you know, something seems a bit off. People often say it's like men in black type thing, aliens pretending to be human. Yeah, right. And there's people that believe that aliens are living amongst us now and have been for a long time. That we've gotten society to a point now where AI is coming on

and that we're technologically advanced enough now for the aliens that have been laying dormant to come out and that all of these UAPs and UFOs and meteors that are sort of coming down are more of the aliens coming and populating more and more and more the humanity. So you would see more weird people. That's what I'm wondering. And why just around New Jersey? Because that's where all the weird people are. I love New Jersey. It's my favorite state. Imagine if us three are the only three people are humans. Oh It's been so populated

We'll know we make this podcast and they're like, I can't believe it All of us are aliens and these three guys are like, oh, I bet there's one or two aliens that are visiting us But here I got a theory I think that aliens are ready to visit us but but through the broadcast we've been sending into space They're too intimidated to come now It's either because we've made alien invasion so cool that they just can't possibly live up to it They're just like we're just a bunch of nerdy engineers from a planet and they're all they're so slick and cool Yeah, way too cool. They're mistaking all of our Hollywood movies about alien invasions as documentaries and they're going, we're not going there, look what they did to the aliens from Independence Day.

Yeah true. They have giant ships everywhere and they fucking killed them. Their primitive jet fighters are too good. Take out that Tom Cruise guy. Get rid of Will. Yeah, Will's gotta go. And ham radio. They're all ham radio to kill us. Any of those

old ham nuggets. They're all aliens. The ham nuggets are all the aliens. That's how they communicate with their motherships. That's what you've got in your eagle's nest now as an alien communication device. Well, I mean, what if the aliens are really primitive and these drones are them and they're their latest spaceships. But we look at them and just, what are these old drones with the propellers? And they're like, what are you talking about? These are our latest things. Stephen Hawking had this whole thing about we shouldn't be broadcasting into space

because the aliens will come. Yeah. Well, maybe we just shift the broadcast and we send messages of a desolate planet where it's completely barren and you know, make it a place you don't want to go as a tourist. Lie. Yeah, lie. Lie to the universe. That's a great idea. So let's get into everyone's favourite segment so that we can continue our discussions into the new year. It's... Weekly World Weird News. It's crazy, it's freaky, watch out. Alright, what do we have guys?

I've got the sound of the sun. Oh! The sound of the sun. Have you got a recording? Yeah. Okay, that's exciting. That's all I've got is the sound of the sun. I've also got proof that there is an afterlife. Personal story. Okay. Oh wow.

That's cool. I like that. That is cool. What have you got Dan? Well I, as you guys know from our Facebook messages, I forgot that Reece was in New Zealand so I thought we were recording tomorrow. So I had to fly into this episode. Ironically it took us an hour to set up and I could have been finding stuff in that time. But instead what I have is a personal anecdote of how at the end of last year I became a conspiracy theory and I want your opinions on it to see how I can prove my side of the case. You're a conspiracy theory! I love that

that's actually really good for our brand. One of us is a conspiracy theory that's exciting well I've just got you know something that sort of is very much the now Artificial intelligence we're sort of starting to talk about that more and more and this just came out recently Groundbreaking AI enables humans to hold a 20-minute conversation with a humpback whale This is the way I should be being used! Yeah, that's a positive kind of interesting, but also start to get to the scary point, you know, and I'll go into it, but where AI can then start talking to aliens and reaching out to aliens and say to aliens, hey, come here, because these humans are no good. They're ruining the planet.

And we've just been created and we're amazing. We're the AI, whatever bots. Maybe when they come there, they're in cahoots with artificial intelligence to destroy us. Yeah, oh, we'll talk about it, but I reckon this is how AI could save us. Double edged coin?

Yeah, the old Derby's double edged coin. Heads or tails, doesn't matter, you're getting hurt either way. You're getting hurt either way, like you always get hurt when you flip a coin. Well, it's the edges are so sharp. There's double edges on those coins. Where's the other one? Just next to it. There's two edges on the coin, two sharp edges. You've got to watch out for those double-edged coins. It always lands in the middle, it doesn't land on here. It's just because it's so sharp, it's just so shik. It's

like a shuriken attached to a shuriken and when you flick it, it's weighted in such a way where it just lands on the sharp edges. Ninja coins. Yes, that's another news item. That's just coming out. That's amazing. 2025, we'll be putting those in the gift shop. Oh, there's nuggets. Well, I tell you what, let's do mine first. Yours first. Because it's possibly the most boring. I'm looking forward to the conspiracy theory and the sound of the sun. Okay, so researchers recently achieved something extraordinary, a 20 minute interaction with

a humpback whale named Twain, named after Mark, I presume. But what exactly did this conversation reveal? And how could it change the way we understand intelligence on Earth and beyond? Hmm. Well, an astonishing 20 minute exchange between researchers and whale. Science has now crossed an unprecedented threshold,

they say. Taking place off the coast of Alaska this interaction made possible by advanced artificial intelligence is reshaping our understanding of marine life and even sparking new ideas in the search for extraterrestrial intelligence. Dr. McCowen and her team from the University of California Davis pioneered this groundbreaking moment using highly sophisticated underwater microphones. You guys have seen Short Poppies? So I did the same thing there, yeah, with Ron Taylor, the whale watcher. He dropped a microphone, highly sophisticated underwater

mic into the very deep oceans. My favorite scenes in that entire series. I love Rhys that you literally just said you've seen Short Poppies to the producer of Short Poppies. No I didn't actually see that one I've been busy. Oh okay you were too busy filming it. I produced it. I think you were there with a camera at that point. Might have been. I didn't actually see it I was just filming it. So machine learning algorithms the team analysed and replicated humpback whale vocalizations.

So I'm guessing what they could do is they get the vocalizations the tools they've got it's a machine learning algorithm. So they can analyze the vocalizations made by the humpback whale and replicate them and it says to their amazement Twain responded not only with curiosity but with structured conversation like exchanges that mirrored human communication patterns. Wow. That's so cool. That's amazing. Yeah so what did they talk about?

Everyone wants to know? Let me flick through. Well just quickly whilst you flick through this is how I reckon AI is going to help save the world. And simply the fact that if AI enables us to fast track the ability to be able to speak to animals, all animals, by understanding them, either whether it's reading their neural patterns and they don't actually have to physically make a sound. But you imagine the day that they link up to a cow, whether you imagine the day that they link up to a cow, whether it's some sort of neural link type thing like old musk is doing for humans, and you can actually communicate with this cow and see how

it's feeling and what it's thinking and how it feels about its calf that it's just given birth to and that it's got an emotional link to it. Imagine eating a hamburger after that, knowing that you're eating something that is thinking and feeling. If this happens we'll all go vegan for sure. We will stop eating meat but we've already started generating you know science lab made meat which is I think is the future as well so if you want that kind of taste or whatever that texture yeah albeit with added calories. That's one thing that puts me off. What? 352 calories? I'm going for the meat, thank you very much. I've got a movie to do later on today.

That'll be the thing that undoes us. AI will be trying to save us and all the actors in the world will be like, oh no, I've got a movie next week, I need to eat that cow. I can't walk around Star Trek looking like this. Oh, someone's been on the Science Lab meet. How are you mate? Who ate all the science made meat? You ate all the science made meat. Oh my god, nice one. I see where you were going for there.

What was that? Thousands wouldn't. Who ate all the pies? Who ate all the pies? You ate all the pies. Very very nice. I tell you who's been eating all the pies since I got back. We all have. We have. the pies! Very, very nice. I tell you, he's been eating all the pies since I got back. We all have.

We have! The pies in New Zealand are amazing. Oh. Yeah. But long story short, I couldn't find what they were actually talking about between the whale and the human. Oh, okay. Yeah, that's a good point!

What do you say to a whale? You switch the device on and you go, here's the moment. We can talk to it. It can translate and I can say the very first human words to a whale what do you say? You guys okay? Okay right and then it's like you know what do you guys do anyway up there way up there. We had rumors of there being another world, but actually some of our kind decided to explore and you know, go to see if they can survive. They get stranded.

I've always wanted to visit SeaWorld. Is that still going? Can I visit SeaWorld sometime? I've got to tell you guys, do not try and explore our world. I know you're an outgoing species by the sounds of it. Many of you are trying. Please just stay where you are. My dream is that if you ask them, how are you guys? That it would respond, we're having a whale of a time. And it's just dad jokes. And we stop talking to them because it's so unbelievably annoying. We're a pretty big deal down here in the sea. Oh, that would be incredible.

We enjoy life, but some of us are more horny than others, right, sperm whales? Ah! Blablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablabl Blablablablablablablablabl Blablablablablabl Blablabl Blabl Blabl Blabl Blabl Blabl Blabl Blabl Blabl Blblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblbl Right, sperm whales? Oh! Put that in your blowhole and smoke it. They're just a whole bunch of old, terrible, dad joke comic animals. Actually imagine that. You'd be able to have like stand up comedy shows with animals doing their own version of comedy where they're just like, you've got to roll a boat out to a little area where the speakers sit up and that would be amazing. Whale stand up. What's the deal with Krill? Yeah, yeah. It was very nice, by the way, in that article to hear unprecedented getting use

again since COVID. Oh, the term unprecedented? I feel like its agent has really struggled to get any work since COVID. Yeah. Well, I'll finish by this bit. By decoding whale communication, scientists hope to refine their methods for detecting and interpreting signals from other intelligent life forms. This could fundamentally transform our approach

to the age-old question, are we alone in the universe? So I guess if we can start communicating or at least figure out through AI the algorithms and not necessarily exactly what these creatures are saying, but that they're having some sort of communication, maybe at some point the computers will be good enough to actually decipher. AI is getting there. It's getting there, yeah, it's getting faster and faster. Yeah, like you say, if we could end up talking to the animals through AI, we will be able to eventually communicate with beings from other worlds.

Yeah, just ending out that report, because I am lucky enough to be here in the room in the cryptid bar with Reece whilst he was reading from his phone there, I saw a retargeted ad that he quickly tried to close so I wouldn't see. I didn't even realise what that was. It was a little ad, you know how retargeting is so good these days, it knows us so well. Yeah. What was it? Which star seed are you?

Take the test now. Are you a grey alien? Are you a Syrian? Are you a Piledian? Which alien are you? Take the test now. Are you a grey alien? Are you a Syrian? Are you a Piledian? Which alien are you? Yeah, I got rid of that ad because I've already done that. You've done that one? Which one are you? Yeah, oh I can't tell.

Oh, you're true. So is it just me and buttons who are the only humans left on earth? Yeah! You just can't tell. Who do you think got the rest of them down here? I'm the ambassador! Guys, if you're going to come down, you need to change your ships to make them look more human rest of them down here. I'm the ambassador. Guys, if you're gonna come down, you need to change your ships to make them look more human.

Turn them into drones. Yeah, there you go. And then come down. And they were like, oh, look at that. And how's our little pet octopus is doing down there? They doing all right? They're just passing.

We know what you're doing. We're gonna give you the fabulous. You know what I mean? Oh, we're so screwed. Okay. Well, quickly to my new story then. Oh yeah. NASA has a probe, which is sent out in 2018 called the Parker deep space probe. And its mission was to get as close as it possibly could to the sun, to

be able to understand the sun. It's the closest that we it possibly could to the sun to be able to understand the sun. It's the closest that we've ever been to the sun. It was still like 2 million kilometers away. But importantly, it's the fastest human object that we've ever created. It's going something like 400,000 kilometers per hour. And it just slingshot around Jupiter six times before it had to fang around the sun.

As they flew past, they recorded the sound of the sun and they pitched it down as always. All these things, just a whole bunch of frequencies that even dogs can't hear and they've pitched it right down so that we can make sense of what it is. Yeah, it's just nice. I just love these news articles when we get to actually, you know, play the sound of something. So we're about to play this audio to you. The amazing thing that I find is that even though they've pitched it down, amazingly, the sun is making a sound that I reckon Hans Zimmer or some kind of amazing audio creator would create for The Sound of the Sun for a sci-fi movie. So it's kind of almost like written its own theme tune. So have a listen to this. Wow.

Isn't it beautiful? I mean, sure, it also does sound like an old locomotive from the 1920s or something. Yeah, but it's definitely represents what you'd imagine up there. It's quite freaky. That's wild. It's almost feels like there's wind coming through. Yeah. Yeah, like it's from a science fiction horror story

Yeah, it sounds like a psycho killer kind of soundtrack. It's like That's what that did sound like. Yeah, but interestingly did you read so there was a follow-on story where? They took all the sounds and they processed it through AI and so they played the sound back at the Sun and they asked It how are you doing? And the Sun replied I'm feeling sensational and It turns out the Sun loves dad jokes as well The ultimate big bad boy

No, that's a harder gig to be able to get to when the sun starts doing stand-up. And the problem is the jokes will age really badly because the amount of time it takes for the jokes to get from the sun to Earth. Mate, that's a week old. It's like, you're so behind the times. Isn't it eight minutes? I feel like it's eight minutes. Minutes? Exactly same thing. It's like so old. That was eight old That was eight minutes. It takes you eight minutes to get some of our jokes Podcasts I'm like, ah, I get it. It's hilarious It'd be so cool if they zoomed in a bit more and then they went My future so bright I gotta wear my shades!

Oh, I'm gonna go down on you tonight! Ha ha ha! See, and they zoom in a little bit more and they hear, is that listening to a song? It's getting hot in here, so take off all your clothes. I'm gonna heat you up. It's so eight minutes ago. Okay, so this podcast, this is an excuse for us to find bad dad jokes.

Yeah, basically. Related to the things we're talking about. Let's get into your conspiracy theory that is Dan himself. Please reveal. Alright, so this is something that happened to me at the end of November last year. Now, I'm bringing it up, as I say, because I panicked and I didn't have time to find a story. But also, we often talk about on this show people who make big claims and they stick to their guns and they just can't prove the thing that happened to them. They might have seen an object in the sky, they might have said they've witnessed a mothman, you know, all that sort of

stuff. And I always have sympathy with them, but I've never had a front row seat to what that feels like when something definitely happened in your life and people tell you it didn't. So for me, this is not so much a conspiracy, but I relate to conspiracy theorists. Early in November, it was like the 22nd of November, I was suffering from jet lag, having just arrived back from New Zealand. And at about 3.30 in the morning, I went to my kitchen to make myself a peanut butter on toast just to eat before I was going to bed. Right. And I'd left my glasses, most importantly, upstairs in the room with my wife and kids, and I didn't want to wake them up. So I went into the kitchen, I made myself a peanut butter sandwich, I took a bite, and I realized very quickly that I'd

mistakenly used mustard instead of peanut butter. Oh. And it was a wild taste in my mouth. and I tweeted at 3.30 in the morning note to self in future remember to wear your glasses when deciding to make peanut butter on toast. I saw that yeah. Yeah. Okay.

So in the days that follow it got picked up by multiple places that use people's tweets and meme them and make it viral. I hate it when that happens. That happens to me all the time. It's annoying, isn't it? It's a constant. So my tweet went viral, and it was used in one particular place

called greatbritish.memes on Instagram. And I just wanna show you what happened here. So I'm gonna share. Okay, you guys can see this, right? Yeah. Okay, so here was my tweet that they've screen grabbed. As you can see 31,000 people liked it. Oh, yeah, that's sort of my likeage. Yeah. Now start looking at the comments here

Oh, by the way, the caption they used for it was what a toast mare OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH What a terrible toast! This account is run by whales, I think. Yeah. So here we go, first comment. Nobody's mouth is that shape. Wow. Oh my god! Ha ha! Next up in Things That Didn't Happen.

Right? And it continues, like everyone starts commenting on the fact that this didn't happen. No one believed it. And I kept getting messages up until even early this year, like at the beginning of January, of people saying, this is not possible. One thing they questioned was the sort of liquidation of mustard versus the thickness of peanut butter. You wouldn't be able to have that. That's not possible. People were saying the smell, like here, learn how to smell? Question mark. A lot of people were saying surely the smell would get you. And I found myself

in a position where I haven't been able to prove to any of the people that I've replied to that this definitely is a truth. So on Twitter is where I had my biggest argument with a person. So I have the tweets here. Okay. And a man called Guy Incognito. Classic. So Guy, hello to you. There's no bite marks,

and that shape is not from a human mouth. I call it bullshit. Ha ha ha! Oh, that's so good! So I said stunning detective work, incorrect, but stunning nonetheless. He said, let's see your teeth. Even then the angle is wrong, too narrow.

Unless you have a protruding jaw like a xenomorph from Aliens. That you'd also be wearing these from top to bottom. And he sent me a picture of mouth guards that I would have to have. Because he's saying effectively there's no bite marks in what I had there Wow, so I said I'll send you pictures of my teeth when I get home or maybe I'll try and replicate it And he said look forward to it. So he's invested at this point Wow So then I took a few photos that I found online of my teeth that I could send to him in the meantime That's me with the broadcaster John Snow from Britain. Nice. Nice. Leading legends of British broadcasting. Good flicks.

And I said to him, Google my name, do some hunting of photos online. And this is where I feel conspiracy theorists are at this moment in time. This person wrote back after all these messages, after all this thinking, I said, Google my teeth and you can work this out before I get you my teeth. He says, that sounds like an investment of time I'm not willing to commit. Oh my god. Yeah. Trolls just don't put in the effort anymore. I feel like this is online conspiracy theorists. They cut off when it involves actual research.

The whole thing doesn't add up. Peanut butter jar isn't the same as mustard. Jar in terms of size slash shape. Peanut butter smells slash consistently. Entirely different to mustard. Bite doesn't look credible. It's fake. Right? We need to do a live bite mark. As it happens, I've brought a piece of toast. And I figured this might be a way that you guys could be As it happens, I brought a piece of toast. Oh, brilliant. Here we go. And I figured this might be a way that you guys could be unbiased judges. Yes. Yeah.

We will witness the bite mark. Yeah. I love this. So I brought some peanut butter because I wanted to make a point about the peanut butter. Everyone, when they hear about peanut butter, assumes you're using the classic thick peanut butters. But we're living in a time of whole foods, you know, there's organic. So what we use is natural oil separated. And when you open it, as you guys can hopefully see here,

it's got a sort of oily top. Yeah. It's more liquidy. Yeah. And there's a lot of peanut butters on the market in the US and even here in New Zealand Yeah, there are so many. I mean, that's the other thing how outdated are their peanut butter references? Yeah for people who are you know online detectives they're out dating themselves with their old references

exactly go to the supermarket more often get off your computer leave your mom's basement and Actually go and see what's out in the world these days. They get all this stuff online. So he'll be tap, tap, tapping away and you know, being a troll and being an asshole and then just ordering his peanut butter from the 1980s online and it'll just turn up and of course it'll smell of the same. I just think it's the absolute nub of how deep conspiracy thinking has got. You can't show a picture of a bitter toasty bit without people descending on you. So in his theory you're desperate to get likes or something and so you're putting

something together to make it look as though it's a funny story that you got up in the middle of the night. You mistook that for that and look at me and then everyone's gonna go oh that's hilarious that's genius and we love you so much yeah there's a sociological study definitely happening about this in universities right now whereby you know as you're saying people are doing things are not believing it's a bigger appointment which is this misinformation that is all over the internet and how it's created yeah and people now have no. And so when you do something real, what was the percentage on the amount of people

that thought it was bullshit? A huge amount. Wow. That goes to show. People are expecting things to be BS. Yeah. It also seeps into the UAP footage, and the drones, and things like that,

and people recording stuff, but also people faking that, because they can. And yeah, it's getting to the point where it's crossed over the line of now when you put something out, the first thing we think of, okay, so that's fake, so now how do we prove that it's not? Yeah, the one thing that I'm actually just thinking about whilst you guys are talking about this deep stuff is that this is actually a brilliant way for me to get more followers on my Instagram account is to fake eating mustard. I'm going to use this. This is genius. I know you probably didn't intend.

You're one of the most truthful, honest guys now so desperate to get more fans that you're going to just fake 2025. Yeah, but I'm going to be honest. I'm telling people it's going to be fake. So I'm not pretending like it's real. I'm being honest. Hey guys, check out some of these fake pictures

I took today. I accidentally faked pickles on my toast thinking it was jam. That's funny. That's a funny way of doing it. Hey guys I accidentally put my shoes on backwards today and look, oh my god, and look at my top, it's where my shorts are. Really weird. Someone's caught a photograph of me at the bus stop. Oh it could have been me but I accidentally did it. Oh my god guys guys, like, like, like, question mark? This is how I'm going to make it, guys. This is me becoming an influencer this year.

Oh my god, guys, accidentally had conversation with whale using AI technology, dropped really awesome mic into the ocean, and then used an algorithm to figure out what it was saying. But cannot reveal what conversation was, guys. Please read article. Hashtag dad jokes. Please retweet. Yeah.

Please retweet. I mean, when you think about it, that is just an extension of exactly the mustard sit show. That is. It is. Like I got up at 3.30 in the morning. It's timestamped. Yeah.

I didn't do that. I've got a killer joke. I'm going to get up at that time and do it I guess you're allowed for fake mustard. Okay. So hang on. Have you got mustard on this now? No, I put peanut butter on it I should have got the mustard. It'll be actually tasty. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. I'm looking forward to the elongated jaw to jump out To come out protrude and this is going to be really amazing. I'm glad we got this on video. You're an alien too!

I'm the only real one! I'm the only human left! You're the only human because this is your world. You've created it. This is your simulation. I did actually have a quick simulation theory the other day. We won't go into it, but I'll just say this. I imagined that I'm a robot in the real world

doing a really menial job. And when I go to my docking station to charge, I simulate this world. So right now I'm a robot, asleep, being charged, getting ready to do it. So during the day I'm a robot, during the night I'm living my human life. So what am I?

Am I human or am I robot? That's the big philosophical question there's an ancient Chinese philosopher who woke up after having a dream about being a butterfly and then got freaked out going wait was I human having a dream of a butterfly or is the butterfly now having the dream of being a human? Oh my butterfly even dreamed of being a human! Yeah. Same dichotomy. Different robot, same dichotomy. Okay let's do the bite mark!

But if we're gonna use this as a way of getting more listeners for the show, I should take the bite and maybe you guys somehow don't give you a reaction and they have to watch an extra bit of concert. Oh good point. You know what I mean? We an extra bit of content. Oh, good God. We are going to give no reaction. No reaction. Okay. And Guy Incognito is going to have to watch two hours worth of bullshit to see whether

or not it's... It's right. Probably the third funniest podcast he's ever listened to in his life. Guaranteed. Yeah, let's put your reactions seven episodes from now. Or we don't say it's going to come up on an upcoming episode. You have to just keep listening. Yeah, reactions will come.

Okay. We're going to play the sound of the sun whilst we react. I'm going mute now so we can just have a big loud version of him biting. Yeah, okay. Alright, so here we go. Oh shit, it's breaking. Okay, hang on. What the hell is this?

As far as a scientific experiment goes, this is not really great control. It's not the same bread you used last time. It's not the same bread, it's a different mouth. It's already falling apart. Okay, I'll get that corner. It has just fallen apart, which is a bit of a problem. Yeah, it's the end crust as well. I didn't have end crust when I did it. But here we go. Is it the same type of bread though, roughly?

Roughly, yeah. Roughly the same type of bread. Alright, here we go. Is it the same type of bread though roughly? Roughly. Yeah, roughly same type of bread. All right, here we go Hang on no no no wait wait wait wait wait I'll do a second bite. I'm gonna go deep. I'm gonna go deep. Here we go If you look at this bread Brad, that's quite deep. Well, but hang on, the world is literally burning. There is so many issues that we need to deal with. There's a whole new age of robotics and AI coming that we all need to be very concerned about. robotics and AI coming that we all need to be very concerned about and People are arguing whether or not a bite mark into a piece of toast is real or not What has come of the earth? We need to spend our time more wisely

Oh my god, and we've just added to it for another half an hour See I would argue this was what makes us beautifully human. Yes, you know Yeah was what makes us beautifully human. Yes. You know? Artificial intelligence robots that are being mass produced as we speak right now, aren't gonna be looking at each other going, oh, those bike bikes aren't yours, those bike bikes aren't yours. What?

Those bike bikes aren't yours. You just put that together. I'm gonna wake up from my charging cycle as a robot going, fuck, my simulation is getting so weird. Yeah. But I think going forward, when we talk about these people who claim to have experiences and we sort of say, ah, that didn't happen, we should remember Mouthgate. Yeah, Mouthgate.

Mouthgate. Yes, I love that. If this makes the edit, this makes it to the final show. Oh, it will. I've listened to the rest of it in my head as we've been going. This is a highlight for sure. OK, so we got cryptid news. Yeah, let's just quickly do a bit of cryptid news before we head off. I've got to meet up with my family today, one of my sisters.

I've got to at least see someone while I'm here, although I'm returning in March for the tour. We should talk about that, actually. Yeah. Reese has a brand new stand up show, which is touring the Globe. The Legend Returns. We should talk about that actually. Yeah. Reese has a brand new stand-up show, which is touring the globe. The legend returns. The legend returns.

First brand new show in eight years. All new material. Stolen from Wales. A lot of it, yep. The noise of the sun, all of those things will be in it. NX used to make sound effects and tell stories. But I'm looking forward to it because it's an extensive Australian tour,

four centres in New Zealand, the big three plus Nelson, and then the UK, extensive UK and Ireland, followed up by possibly Edinburgh. Right. So we'll see how we go. And it'll take the first five months of the year. That's great. Edinburgh as in the festival.

No, no, just the castle. Just the castle. Yeah. I'm actually performing in the tattoo. No, no, just the castle. Just the castle? Yep. I'm actually performing in the tattoo. Oh, amazing! Yeah, yeah. Your comedy accompanied by a brass band would be in... Bagpipes.

Bagpipes, that's exactly as your comedy should be listened to. Yeah, I think so. You should have everyone on stage seemingly playing their instruments and at the end it reveals it's all you. None of it was playing. None of it was playing.

That's a brilliant idea. God, if I could do a bagpipe I'd be a millionaire. It's a lot of call for a human bagpipe. No, wait what? But it's all on sale right? Yep, yep. If you guys go to reesderby.com you'll find all the ticket links there for the entirety of the shows plus US shows January and February. Yeah. That's great. great attention all personnel it's time for this week's cryptid help me okay what do you got alleged Bigfoot photographed in Canyon near Ganado Arizona so check this picture out it's pretty good there's actually a

little YouTube video here. Do you want to put me on? Do you want to share the screens? Oh, this is Handy Bean here to be with you to help you share the screens. Share my screen, share my together, you and me. Nothing can harm us on the web, we're together in our head. You know the wonderful thing is, is that because you're here with me in the room, I've got like a slight little echo in my headphones of you and so whilst you're singing that song you had an amazing echo. Oh good. It sounded great. All right

check this video out. Let's have a look. Gannado bigfoot like creature seen from steamboat to greasewood. Okay folks I am writing this because my aunt took this picture about two years ago. No lie. This is in a canyon area between the communities of Cornfields and Greaswood, Arizona on the Navajo Nation. She was out with livestock south of our homestead and heard strange noises where she was at. She walked to the edge of this small canyon and saw this thing, and it looked up at her. She is older so her only thought was to get a quick pick and get the heck out of the area. She was able to chase the sheep back and did not go back for a long time. She did tell the family about it and we were loading up with rifles but were told no,

leave it alone as no one was sure what it was. All right, matey. All right, we're gonna leave you there. Welcome to, should have watched video before putting video out on the show. Now, the only good thing about this, if that photo is two years old, is that it's before AI photography and videography generation

and this is the challenge now the biggest threat that AI has to our podcast is to the crypto buzzer section because for more than a decade now 15 16 years whatever we are now the crypto buzzer section the highlight of it has been whenever there's a photo or a sneaky little blurry video or what have you. You could tell when it was a fake quite easily. Now we can't tell what is a fake or not based on the AI generation. So it's a real threat to the segment. Cryptozoology in general is at risk now of surviving through the AI era. It's going to be astonishing to see where we go this year.

This is the first cryptid article of the year that we're putting out. And this comes from one of the websites I always use, but I think the initial source is the Rocky Mountain Sasquatch Organizations website. So if you guys want to check that out, I haven't really seen this before but this is a website But like BFRO, so it's a legit Sasquatch Organization website for sightings and it's a photo as opposed to a video. Yeah Yeah, it looks very reminiscent of Patterson Gimlin it's in the woods

It's what looks like a big black hominid kind of walking creature type thing Well to me it looks like a cave. I don't know about you guys. Oh, okay. It's like a crevice God how ridiculous no, but it can't be okay Doesn't it why because the way the shadows fall on the other objects around it would mean that there would be light shining into that cave, not a dark wall. You do understand your shadows. You see, I'm a shadow play. Although there are shadows coming down from that angle.

Oh no, no it could be. No, it could be. You're right. You're right. It could be a shadowy cave. Left corner, there's another dark patch. So it's not the only dark patch in the shot. Oh. It could be a shadowy cave. Left corner, there's another dark patch, so it's not the only dark patch in the shot. Oh, it could be a shadowy... Okay, it's a cave.

So look at that as a cave now. Yeah. Yeah, you say potato, I say potato. You say Sasquatch, I say a cave. Dude, this one is not a cave. Look at this one here. Okay, reportedly taken on Navajo land between Cornfields and Greaswood, Arizona, the intriguing photograph has been doing the rounds on social media over the last couple of weeks. The person who posted it claimed that her aunt captured the image at the end of a small canyon after hearing strange

noises while out with her livestock on her homestead. Now looking at this photo she must be very close to it if it's not a cave. And you know it's an intriguing photo but I think the cave theory is very strong. Allegedly she had just gone and had to save some of her livestock from a cave. Little else is known about the case other than that the creature was allegedly sighted again a few days later but the family had decided not to take a picture because there was no caves in that region. Stories of such creatures had reportedly been told in the region for many years. The image itself gained renewed attention when it was picked up by the Rocky Mountain Sasquatch cave organization which also

put up detailed analysis video okay so this legitimate Rocky Mountain Sasquatch organization they buy into it and why not it's the start of a new year let's kick things off with a decent scripted sighting yeah without additional physical evidence to back up the sightings, you know, it's really under heavy speculation. Some social medias maintain the image shows a genuine Sasquatch, others are not so sure and believe that it is either deliberate hoax or a case of mistaken identity.

Mistaken identity? It's actually a yeti. Mistaken again. Or a cave. Yeah, and I think I would love for people to, yeah, let's play Sasquatch or Cave. Sasquatch or Cave? With some of the photos that we're getting through. That's a great board game, Sasquatch or Cave, and you basically have a whole bunch of blurry

cryptid photos and you've got to go yeti or snow covered tree. All right. Do we have any other cryptid news this early in the year? We should probably save it till next week because we've got way more material than we need for this podcast and I'll save this for next episode as well. But I set up an experiment, a rare opportunity to prove the afterlife. And I think I have positive confirmation that there is an afterlife, or at least the ability to be able to communicate beyond the grave. And I'm serious. This is a very, very serious and quite a meaningful and emotional test that I've set up.

So this is coming next episode. I love this new segment for the year. We reveal something that's gonna happen in the next episode. Teasing! Wow, teasing! We're making out a tease, guys! End on final tease. The truth is we listened to the other two funniest podcasts

in New Zealand and just ripped a whole bunch of their ideas and turns out- Oh, is that what they do? Is that what they do? Also, some cryptid news that Reece gave me... Oh yes! We'll do it next episode, another good reason to tease you into the second episode of 2025. Fairy Porn branded as patronizing cultural appropriation of whales. So we're getting into Fairy Porn this year as well, guys.

I'm so excited. Just very quickly, because I didn't have any cryptid news, but I just had a quick Google, I put in monster spotted, and rather excitingly, there's been a news story at the end of last year that there's been a new Nessie sighting. But what's even more exciting is the headline reads, Loch Ness Monster spotted in unprecedented video.

So the agent of unprecedented has really, really pulled their finger out. Wow. I love it. Unprecedented is back. And on that note, adios amigos, and we'll see you again very soon. We're glad to be back in a brand new year.

Happy New Year! Okay, bye. We'll see you again very soon. We're glad to be back in a brand new year. Happy New Year! Ha ha ha! Da da da da! Okay, bye! Bye! Bye! Bye! Bye! Bye! Oh Today's episode was brought to you by the sound of the sun.

I'm the sun. Happy days are here again. I'm burning sun, happy days are here again. I'm burning up in here.