The Cryptid Factor - #104 The Gardening Angel Issue

Episode Date: February 27, 2025

In this flourishing issue, take a gander into the Great Glasshouse, wear a sash in the Seat-less Storeroom and dive deep into a Devalued Diary! At long last, Buttons reveals the tease of his personal proof of the afterlife and Darbs may actually be one of many Darbs. We have kayakers being swallowed by whales, celebrities and side kicks being harassed by ghost children in haunted ships, and Bigfoot hunts with ex-girlfriends causing dramas in divorce courts.Turns out the FBI might be tapping into your phone line from the comfort of your mothers bedroom, and for the first time ever, we have animals doing perfectly normal things in places they should be...you don’t want to miss this one! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Factor with Reese Darby, Dan Schreiber, and Buttons. In the dark of the night, from a world out of sight, the reasoning amiss in the glooming thick mist. Tortures aloft as authority scoff steps the boys of Bazaar from their wacky clown car. Where? Very good. Very good.

you told us that you wrote that a second ago. Yeah. And I can't see where there was a gap where you weren't listening to me telling you about Michael Palin for about 20 minutes. How did you do that? I was ranting. Basically, the listening's an act. And it always has been with me as an actor.

That's one of my great strengths. The, oh, yeah. No, wow, wow. Okay, okay. A couple of okays in there. And I'm able to look at you while absolutely thinking of something else and then also writing it down and having quick glances down to where I'm writing

and then back at you. Amazing. And there it is. And that's a completed poem from the Great Glass House. Whose port-culture of creation is often flourishing. And that's a direct quote. Direct quote from who?

You called yourself that a couple of minutes before we started recording. And you wrote it down to then quote it back? Yeah, written it here. You've got to write things down. Rees named him. himself, the great glasshouse. Just for clarity for the audience. I thought we were chatting for like 20 minutes. This whole time you've just been writing brilliant poetry and great quotes

about yourself. So Buddons, where are you right now? Well, I'm in the storeroom at work because everybody's busy doing actual proper work. So I suddenly sat here and went, well, this is good places any, but there's no chair, so I'm going to be standing the whole podcast. You're standing in the storeroom. This is a new one for the record books. It really is. So just for the listeners behind him, there's boxes, there's shelves, there's clearly old speakers. The classic.

Plastic tubs with paraphernalia are in. There's an old rugby ball. Yeah, one of these things, whatever that is. Oh, yeah, some sort of handle. What is that? TV stand. Coloring in pencils. Odds and ends.

Yeah. And a sash for wearing, you know, if I win an award, then I've got a big orange sash to wear here. Like, Mr. I don't know, what would I be? Mr. Storeroom. Mr. Stor Room, 2025. Do you not worry at all buttons that, you know, this is at the UFO Rodeo offices. Like when some big clients come in and they say, where's the boss? They have to say he's in the cupboard.

Talking about Loch Ness Monster, a UFO. We can hear him. They're just hearing noises, oh, gosh, from the cupboard. He's in the cupboard with his sash on. Look, I just can't wait for my horticulture of creativity to start flourishing a little bit like this. This is so interesting us talking about writing things down because, so I was ranting about Michael Palin before this. I'm reading his diaries. As a result, as of four days ago, I've started keeping a diary for the first time ever.

Oh, I like this. Yeah. And it's really exciting. It's really great. And it weirdly has given me an odd sort of weird psychological power now. Oh. Well, just if you guys say anything that, you know, pisses me off of something during this recording, I'll be like, well, that's going in the diary. And then because you guys now know that I have a diary, you're going to be like, what's he going to write in the diary about me?

What's interesting. That's true. This is good. You're diarizing. Got to be on our best behavior. Yeah. Yeah. And then one day.

It'll all come out. It'll be the Dan Schreiber diaries, revealed. Self published. Self published. Run of five for the family. Self-published, self-read. One edition only. One copy.

This is the actual diary you wrote in. You're releasing the one diary for just slightly less than the sticker price for the blank diary. That's worth less, yeah, exactly. I don't know that people do. do diaries much anymore, do they? Because they're posting on social media and kind of going, oh, well, that's my diary now. Just chuck a video up

about how you're feeling about things and stuff. But I don't even do that. So I'm not diarizing and I'm not uploading. I'm going to die and there's going to be no record, apart from my diary. Your diary. And you're not coming out great in it so far, buddy. The diatribes of

Dan Shriver's used diary. Dyer shrives, we'll call it. Hey now, everybody's sitting there waiting for the obvious. Like three episodes in now of teasing certain segments. I'm just sort of wondering whether or not we give people release and reveal our teasers. Yeah. At the end of last episode, Reese, you just fell off the end of the planet. I'd love to know what happened to you on the back of your Derby's disclosures.

You just disappeared. We think you got too close to the truth, but you are back. Yeah. Yeah. No, I was whisked away, unfortunately, and my memory's being completely wiped because I have no recall of anything other than the theme song happening. And then I was just pulled out. I woke up three hours later, so time had passed.

It was about three hours that had passed, and that made sense to me because it felt like three hours. So there wasn't any missing time. I was wondering what had happened to me for three hours. It was just recording the podcast. Yeah, it was just three hours talking shit for one hour's worth. of actual edited podcast that took three hours.

So that accounts for that time. Okay, great. But anyway, I'm still alive. The truth is almost out there. Dan and I were talking about how this might not actually be you. This may be an actual replicant Reese. That they whisked you away. How do we know it's you? We're left kind of wondering

if you're actually the real Reistabi or whether you're a doppelganger or an AI robot. Right. Well, I mean, I don't know. maybe you have to ask a question that only the real Reese Darby could answer. Oh. Well, we think the previous Reese was actually the second Reese, which was Restar A. Then Reistar B is what we had. Oh.

And now we're dealing with Reistar C. Well, he's a good-looking one. You know, is he's popular with the romance writers and fans of the Victorian love affairs. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Mr. Darcy, Pride and Prejudice. I just can't. wait for Reese Dardy the next one. Oh, Dardy. It sounds like I'm saying sort of like a weird version of Daddy, and I kind of like that.

It's a bit creepy, I know, but Rees, Daddy. Well, the funny thing is... Okay, that's going in the diary. Freudian stuff with Reese happening on the podcast this week. Anyway, a lot of this will be edited out, so let's move on to buttons. I'll come up with a sting if you want, but we're all on tender hooks to hear your situation, your tease that's been running for three weeks,

and I want to get this out before we get into Weekly World Weird News. Yeah, okay. Otherwise, we're just going to keep on teasing and teasing. And then, unfortunately, the story won't be able to live up to the amount of tease. It's already borderline now. People will be like, oh, I can't wait, and I'm going to tell the story. People are going to go, I waited that long for that? I've got a sting lined up

While you were talking their buttons I was carefully thinking and making it look like I was listening but I've created a sting That's amazing I really believe that you were listening to me For the first time in your life as well Maybe I overacted

You definitely are you ready for the sting Yeah It's the result of buttons Stees Teasy tizzy Thanks, Daddy. So just to recap, the whole point of the tease is that we started talking, I had to go over to the Netherlands

to go and see an aunt who had decided to practice euthanasia at 90 years old, wonderful, wonderful woman. Practicing euthanasia, you hope that the first practice is actually a really good practice, right? because you don't want to not practice well that. Yeah. I did wonder if you were going to jump into a bit of button stand up after he said practice.

What's it? What's to deal with practicing? I mean, how many times are you going to practice? Before you can actually do the actual performance? Anyway, I mean, I had a good chat with my aunt, who before she passed away, she was a big influence in my life. and we had to talk about what her beliefs were after life.

Right. She said she doesn't really know, but she's pretty sure that something happens. So I started talking about all of the children who have had past life experiences and that they carry these memories over. And I started talking about people who have near-death experiences, who come back to life and bring memories back with them from after having an experience. we made a pact around, okay, if there is something afterlife, we had a key word, we had a phrase or a word. Oh, that's amazing.

Yeah, so that she could prove that she was still there in the afterlife. By the way, just worth saying. What a great conversation to have with someone who has made this decision is on the way out, as in it's a really great way of approaching a comforting chat about death. I don't know, I think that's really sweet. I think that would have done a lot for her. Thank you, because she was 90 years old but still totally sharp and completely with it, you know, just deciding that she'd had enough. And she's always, she's been a big advocate for end-of-life choice.

And when I started talking about it, it did feel a little bit awkward. But it was amazing how easy the conversation was to have, you know, me, I just, I just waffled on. I think she had a little nap whilst I was talking. She probably wrote down a few ideas. Her final thoughts Just while you're talking there I might just... Go to change the will here

She's pushing the emergency red button next to her bed to try and get the staff all the time she's like subtly Yeah Yeah Can I start practicing now? Can I start practicing this whole thing early? Thank God she was into it

Can you imagine Leon bringing up Michael P Masters in your final hour Like, mate, please. Please tell me you started things off with the theory time theme tune. I actually played the one that you gave me to walk into a room to have people respect me. Oh, that one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So she fully respected everything I said.

Oh, good. Anyway, a couple of weeks after she had passed, there was a wee moment where my son Jarvis, who you both know. Yeah. Everybody knows because he edited the podcast for a while. He was driving up to see my sister

quite some distance away and he was in a dodgy old car and I was very concerned. And then my sister text him without even knowing that I was around and said, make sure you drive safe. And then in brackets

put the word that my aunt and I had agreed upon. No. And with a little love heart and in closed bracket. And it made no sense. Jarvis was like, what does that mean? And he showed me and said, what does she mean by that?

And now I won't say the word so that she can keep using it so it doesn't wear off. Oh, nice. But it's a very random word. It's not like a... Very random word. And, you know, I haven't talked to my sister yet and asked why she wrote that word. But there is no way at all that my sister could know about it. It was just my aunt and I in the room.

My sister didn't call my aunt afterwards and get any secret little insights or little tricks or anything like that. And so I took that as a sign that there's definitely an afterlife and that she communicated beyond the grave. Yeah, that's incredible. Why haven't you spoken to, said sister, since this occurred? I just, I haven't seen her. It obviously blew your mind, and yet on the day,

and then weeks, months going on forward, you thought, hmm, I should really contact her about that word and how she came up with it or whatever. But no, you've decided. No, no, I'm going to tease that for next episode. Okay. Oh, okay.

Yeah. Are you worried that she will reveal why she said that word and it's just a complete coincidence? Yeah, possibly. You want it to be real. Yeah. I want it to be real. And it is at the moment.

Yeah. I mean, it's pretty crazy. Yeah. That is crazy. But also, just. just the fact that it was only a week or two after my aunt had passed away. Yeah. Are you sure you didn't say things to your sister about what you spoke of with your aunt?

Not whatsoever. Okay. Nothing. Wow. So I just take it as proof. Yeah. But what does that actually mean when you say you take that proof? Genuinely?

Like you feel that's changed your mind about everything? Well, his mind was already there, though. Okay. He's already believes in afterlife and, you know, being born. and born again, past lives. I mean, you know, buttons has been going on about that for ages. And I'm excited about it as well, and I like the idea of it. I mean, in fact, I have talked about it as well, the past life thing.

I've put it in my show. It just feels good to know that it is definitely a possibility. And when you find markers like this, it is very relaxing in your heart to know that the end isn't really the end. Yeah, and also that there's a massive adventure awaiting at the end, right? Yes. When you're having your last breath, that it's actually the first step or the first breath into a whole new adventure, hopefully.

Yes. And if you've got the ability to control shit in the next life for people in the old life, I mean, this is the pick my balls. Moment. This is that a little word. And it's like, yeah. Yeah.

You've had it. That's amazing. Who picked the word? You or your own? She did. She picked them. Yeah, and it's just a very short word. Only three letters long.

And what was the agreement that that word would come up to prove at some point. You didn't discuss how? No, not at all. Just said, like, if you've got the ability to communicate afterwards, this would be the word. And it's just interesting that I remember, I certainly felt when my dad passed away

that he was sort of a bit of a garden, garden-gardening angel. He's a bit of a gardening angel. Gardening angel. Gardening Daniel His horticulture was really flourishing In my garden I couldn't grow the tomatoes And then I just feel my dad was there

As a gardening natural Down in the garden Underneath the trees Lives a little dainty boy Guardian Angel Oh Guardian Angel Yes I've got it now Anyway

That's such a dyslexic Angel mishat You think you're going to be safe in this situation You get absolutely clobbered. What happened to you? No, no, I'm a gardening angel. Because the roses. Your roses are amazing right now.

You've gone off on the wrong track. You're supposed to be guardian. Oh, no. Oh, no, was it? Oh, God, I've gone gardening. Okay, well, look, if you're ever out by your petunias. Ain't no pianos going to fall on your head. I'll guard you whilst you're gardening from anything falling or any

you know, mishaps. I tell you what, my property at Matacana needs a gardening angel. That's a good brand for a horticulture firm. You're right. Gardening angel. Gardening angel, you're right. It's been done. It would have been done.

Let's check. Yeah. I can't pretend I'm listening, though. I'll just have to do it. You just can't do the listening. Yeah, acting chops hard up to it. Okay, well anyway, that was the update. Very cool. I'd love to get a video of you

when you saw this message and the look on your face. You must have gone. Yeah. Oh, yeah. In a genuine, like, shock. I was. I was like, what the? Yeah.

I asked Jarvis. My son was like, why did she put then? He goes, I have no idea. I don't know what that means. Can you say roughly the sentence again prior to the brackets? It was basically just drive safe. And then in brackets that work. Wow.

It's lull, isn't it? It's lull. You said it's three letters. It's lull. Drive safe. Loll. No, it's not lull. Okay.

It's a different three-letter words. It's a three-letter word. Yeah. Three-letter. Well, don't give it away. I won't give it away. I'm giving it away. I'm giving it too much away.

A special bond. Yeah, yeah, yeah, magical words. Is the word by, B-Y-E? That's quite fun. Bye. Bye. That's a code word. Drive safe.

Car. Car. What word should be our special word? What about car? Oh, you like your cars, don't you? you Leon, you like your cars? Yeah, but that's weird. No, I think car's good.

Car. Every time I hop in the car, I'm like, oh, I feel like she's here. Is this a sign? That's true. It's got to be a weird enough word, doesn't it, that you're not going to just hear it day to day. It's got to be obscure. No, it's very obscure. We've still been working on our safe word and our family.

We haven't come up with it yet, and I know that's not the right term, but what I say, safe. What I'm talking about is to... It's anti-AI. So when we're away from our phones and computers and anything tech that is listening, we need a word in the family that all four of us know. So when we get a phone call or we get something that we think could be fake,

we use the word, we ask what our word is, then we need that replied, you know, so we haven't come up with that. Can I suggest Dardie? What? Is that a good... Dardie, are you saying? Dardie. Dardy.

Yeah, now that's not going on the list. Yeah. But car might be. I'm going to try both of those in the future. Hey, Finn, it's your mum. Give me the same word. Carby. Daddy?

Okay. Well, unfortunately, we won't be using this in the show, but that was great to hear. We've got a couple of other callers on the line. Cool now. You fuckers. You fuckers. Now it's time for everyone's favorite segment.

It's Weekly World Weird News. Crazy. Freaky, watch out. Let's do some headlines. Yes. I've got one here. Oh, yeah? Humpback whale briefly swallows kayaker in Chilean Patagonia.

That's all captured on camera. Wow. Very exciting. It's happened once before, I think, on the Crypto factory, isn't it? There was a swallowed fisherman, I think, a while ago. It's happened again. Yeah, yeah. So I've got one here.

Hollywood icon makes deadly contact on ghost ship. Oh. Oh. That's interesting. Hollywood icon. That is a good one. This is exciting. I've got one as well, which is wife takes man to divorce court after he took his ex-wife on a bigfoot hunting expedition and not her.

Oh, it'll be cryptid news. Hey, but hang on, today is Valentine's Day as well. Well, at least in New Zealand, it is. So great Valentine's. Day article too. So there you go. I love that. For the ex-wife, very romantic.

Yeah. Why do we start? Buttons, do we start with your one? Yeah, sure. My one's very, very straightforward, but I just loved it. It just feels like nature is just having a crack back at humans and kind of going,

had enough of you guys. There's been a lot of humpback action of late. They've been spotted a great deal more of lately, that's been said. A kayaker of Chilean. Patagonia and this is him kayaking along but it's a little bit of video have a watch of this guys so he's about to play a video listeners it's playing oh my goodness me wow that's over and done with very quickly very quickly i'll show you again i was going to describe it there's ocean there's a kayaker

oh and now the kayaker's gone boom clearly a whale came up this kayaker was really pretty quickly and was unharmed, but basically this guy fared for his life, kayaking along in his yellow kayak, and a few seconds later, boom! He's inside the humpback whale, so he literally got inside the mouth, like full-on Jonah action inside the whale. Funny enough, his father was sitting there filming her. Like, that's why we've got video footage of it. Yeah, thankfully.

Yeah, his dad was filming, but there. Then he just saw his son just go, like a camera phone? Yeah, on his phone. But that's what's interesting about the footage then is that, okay, let's say I've got my camera up right now. And we're all dads. Let's picture ourselves doing it, right? Yeah. So we're filming.

A humpback comes and eats your son. Yeah. Now, I think a normal person would drop their phone and go, son, what's going? Yes. No, yeah. That was a really steady camera where he was just like, oh, this is gold. I know. This is pure.

Well, this is the end of him, but what an ending. I'm going to get this in perfect 4K. Well, lucky we did our safe word before he got taken. He'll be able to communicate with me on the other side. Car! The gardening. If you can just come back and help me with the garden. No, I don't need guardians.

Ah, damn it. Well, you say that these whales are being more active. Do you want to elaborate on how much more active they? are recently. Yeah. Well, and it's a bit of a tricky one because there's a lot of humpback whales that are being seen close to coastlines. And obviously that gets concerning about if they get beached. That is concerning. Even here in New Zealand, there has been a lot of orca sightings as well, like right in the harbors and coming right in close. It is worrying. Yeah, it is worrying.

And there are sort of a bunch of research going on to try and figure out exactly why they're spending so much time in closer. But there's also a theory that it may well be them escaping the fishing trawlers and the fishing that happens of whales as well, that if they stay closer to shore, then it's a sort of a protection thing as well. But it's interesting because of late there has been a few articles about fish, or dare I say it, or fish. Or fish.

Emerging and sort of showing themselves because I'm also. relating myself to this other article that has come out recently about the rare black sea devil fish, which has been filmed for the first time near the ocean surface. Did you guys check this out? No. Yes, I certainly did. Oh, sorry, yes, I saw a photo. Yeah.

It is incredible that fish. It looks like a cartoon character. Yeah, with a great big mouth full of teeth, very, very deadly looking. and it's typically found thousands of feet beneath the surface of the sea it's got like a massive glowing appendage sticking out from its head to lure the unsuspecting prey

and what have you. It's very alien looking and it's normally found in the deep ocean and then they've now recorded this sighting the first time ever I think in broad daylight basically on the surface there's that, there's the author,

We've got orca and whales sort of coming closer to the surface, playing up a bit more. And you can't help but think it's, yeah, it's about the ocean and about where we're heading with climate change and what's happening with the planet. Yeah, totally. By the way, I just want to quickly backtrack on my criticism of the father, because I'm suddenly thinking humpback whales, the reason he was spat back out is that would have been a mistake. He wouldn't want to swallow him, even if he was sending a message. The dad, who's clearly must be an experienced kayaker, they're out there on the ocean.

he probably went, oh, he'll be back in a second. You know, he'll be spat out. Yeah. Hence not needing to shake. That's a good point. I reckon that's a sea dog confidence going, oh, this will be a great video because he'll be back in literally two seconds when he's spat back out. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So yeah, apologies to the dad. Yeah. It's a knowledgeable, confident dad possibly there. Yeah. Still, what a horrifying thing to see. Yeah. Luckily, those mouths are so big that when you do get caught up in one, and the mouth closes, you're still not getting crushed.

You're just in this big warehouse. Yeah. Sort of waiting to swim out again when the doors open. I don't know if I've told you guys about this novel that I read. I know I've mentioned it in other places, but it's called Whaleful by Daniel Krause. Whaleful? I read it last year. It's honestly, it was such a great book, and it's a weird indie book where it's largely about a relationship of a dad and a son that was very fractured and really horrible.

But the dad was obsessed with scuba diving. and the dad passes away and it's a horrible ending in their relationship. To make up for it, he goes to the spot where the dad died in the ocean on a scuba diving trip and he gets swallowed by a sperm whale while he's down there.

And then the novel is about a scuba diver who has a tank on who is in the stomach of a whale having to get out of the stomach. And you know the book, The Martian, and the movie The Martian, where it really was technically right about what would happen in these situations, that's what this book is.

This book is literally what happens if you're swallowed inside a sperm whale and you have two hours to get out. Wow, that's awesome. I couldn't put it down. And it's amazing. Like, for example, you've got to head back to the mouth. Don't go to the anus because all the acids inside

as you get further and further. It's great. Being a Jim Carrey fan, though, I probably would try and come out the bum. You probably would. Look, Dad. Look, it's a whale giving birth. Oh, son, this has not been seen before.

This is amazing. Get your camera there. I'll use mine, of course, and I won't get unsteady hand being such a professional here. I don't see. Oh, look, it's coming out. It's weird looking. Oh, gosh, look at that.

Holy jingos. Wait a minute. That looks like a diving man. Oh, wow. He's crying, all right. Is that? Reese Darcy. That's Darcy.

That'll be Darcy. The ocean dabs. Hey guys, I'm fine. I'm fine. Just a big fan of Jims. Oh yeah, we knew you would be. How was that acid anus? How did that go for you?

Now, what's this celebrity and a haunted ghost ship or something, Rhys? Yeah. This is exciting. This is from the local L.A. Times. Basically this Hollywood guy I'll reveal him at the end because it's quite funny So he's on this ship

called the Queen Mary You might have heard of it It's a beautiful old 1936 ocean liner And he's on there with his sidekick They're making some videos And they end up being part of a tour Which apparently you can do

They went on the 11 o'clock paranormal tour which offers all the sights and sounds and stories of yesteryear with regards to ghosts. There's over 57 official ghosts on the ship itself. And they walk into the most haunted of all rooms B340, I think. Yeah. And oh my God. Okay, so they found a Ouija board in that room.

And with some other people on the tour, they opened up the Ouija board thinking nothing of it. They put their fingers on it. and lo and behold, the Ouija marker moves. They couldn't believe it. They swear to God, none of them had moved it. It moved a further three times. They are told to leave the room abruptly.

Apparently, there was a murder inside that room, happened back in the day. He was a famous, like, sexual predator that had all these horrific crimes, and he was being put on a boat, this boat to be taken to New York in the middle of the night he's screaming, let me out of my room

let me out of my room the guard who was guarding the room just thought he was trying to get out he said there's someone in here let me out bashing on the door the guard said no and wasn't born yesterday next morning opens the door the guy's completely gutted

he's lying on the floor he's been murdered and his guts are hanging out he must have been really gutted yeah that's where the saying come from. Is that like the terrible universal puns that we were talking about the other episode?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm absolutely gutted. Just terrible pun ghosts. Yes. You'll never guess who the celebrity is. Oh, who? Who, pray tell. Rees Darby.

Oh! Darby. Darby. The original. The OG. Yeah. The real one. He was on the boat with, it says here, with his dopey sidekick.

and it doesn't have his name. I called up the paper and it was apparently buttons. Hey, what's me? Wait, so when did you guys do this? I did clock about halfway through that it was you guys, but I genuinely didn't know that you guys did this. Surprise! You went ghost hunting?

Yeah. Yeah, it was just one of those things. I had to do the Derby reveal, which is nowhere near as good as the Shriver reveal. It's not helped by the dopey sidekick, helping out with the story. But yeah, the day before the buttons had to head back to New Zealand,

we had a night off. One night? Nothing on. So we just thought, hey, let's stay the night on the Queen Mary, something we've always wanted to do because of its ghost stories. And I know we're not into ghosts,

but we wanted to go there as another example of us trying to prove to ourselves and to the ghosts that there's nothing of it. And we had this bizarre experience. So we had to share it with you on the show. Yeah, so hang on. Did you get to actually, was it just spending a night like an evening or did you sleep on the boat as well?

We slept on the boat. We slept on the boat. We slept on the boat, which was very scary because a certain guy that wasn't me decided to get up at 2 a.m. with the EMF readers and head down the corridors looking for more ghosts. And the last thing he said to me before he left the room because I was like, I'm not trying to sleep here.

He said, all right, well, I've just heard some children laughing in the corridor. And there's no one there. I'm going to come back after my ghost hunt. Bye. And off you went. Look, did you really buttons? Yes.

Look, so... You had children? Yes. So actually what actually happened was that we went on this ghost tour. Exactly as Reese said, we went into this room. One of the lovely people on the tour group

just whipped out this Ouija board and was like, hey, you guys, put your finger on here. Yeah. I have always had a rule with myself to never mess with a Ouija board because they just don't know what is going on. But there was something so alluring, right, Rhys?

It was just like, yeah. Yeah, it was a case of right place, right time, literally because as we walked from one room into the bathroom of this big, you know, this suite that was very haunted, as we come around the corner, the girl is literally putting the Ouija board down and saying, let's get into it. And we were just kind of drawn into it. Yeah.

And we all four of us who had our finger on all swore like none of us did anything. I definitely didn't do anything. I did not move it. And you could feel that it wasn't one of us, that it was just the way it moved was not by finger. The first move, it was only half an inch. A young lady that started the whole thing. She took her finger off. She did.

She freaked out. And then it moved again. And then it moved a third time. But none of us expected it to do anything, I think. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But wait, so you're saying it. only move three times to three letters.

What were those three letters, Rhys? Oh, gosh, I've got it on video too, but I think it did go towards C first and then back to a, oh man, it was car. Oh, it was car, oh my God. Wow. Well, that's my safe word.

No, but the interesting thing was is that at the end of our tour, we went to the front desk, and one of the people there she said, oh look, you know, definitely stuff has happened to me, it's definitely haunted this ship. And when I usually see stuff is when I go for a walk around the ship

at 2 a.m. And I was like, can Reese and I come with you at 2am? And she's like, yeah, sure. Do the rounds, yeah. Yeah, she was like, no problem at all. We were a little bit tired. We were... I'd been a big night. We thought, oh, no, we probably won't go. And I thought, ah, if I wake up at 2 a.m.,

then I'll go. but no I'm probably going to pass out. My eyes popped open like straight away and I thought, wow, it must be like five or six in the morning or what have you. And that's when I heard little kids laughing in the hallway and I thought, oh, it must be early in the morning

because I can hear little kids outside. I get my phone out and look at it and it's three minutes to 2 a.m. And then I'm awake and I'm like, the ghosts have woken me at 2 a.m. to go on the store. So that's when Reese was like, You're right?

And I'm like, it's 2 a.m. Should we go with the lady to go check out the boat? And he's like, no, I'm trying to sleep. And I'm like, okay, well, all good then. It's just because I woke up because I heard ghost children in the hallway. So I'll go see what they're about. And then I left. He leaves me alone in the room with the ghost children laughing in the hallway.

So I couldn't get back to sleep. Were you properly scared? No, not properly like. I would have turned the light on and watched TV or something. I was still trying to go back to sleep but just that my mind was like annoying me with, oh, any minute now that I'm going to have a hand on me

or there's going to be something weird, there's going to be. And I just started to drift off when old dopey comes back into the room. Hey. And did you go on that tour? Yeah, so I went for a walk around and the lady took me into a couple of rooms again. She took me into a room

that she had gone into and there were dead flies in there in quite a demonic spirit she said, and there was a dead corpse smell coming from this room where she went to and one day she went down there and this part of the ship is completely empty but this door to this room

that had a stench of death in it was slightly ajar she opened the door and took a photo and she looked at the photo later she showed me and there is definitely like a wee kind of face in the shadows It's like a very creepy, spooky, face in the shadows.

And then she said, okay, there you go. And then left me to walk back around the boat to go back to the room and by myself at 3 a.m. Get back to your own room on your own. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which was very brave of me. Right.

It is very interesting. I'm not being cynical at all about it, but it is a, you've got this business going. I wonder if things like, you know, could they have a little speaker system that plays children laughing at three minutes to two? I'm not saying they're doing that. Maybe it's legit, but at the same time,

they're amplifying the experience. Yeah, it could be. The ship actually has been in Long Beach for longer than it has been out to see it. And it's been sat there as a hotel and as an experience since the late 1960s. And for a while there, Disney owned it. And I think Disney certainly amped the stories up

and fabricated some ghost stories and what have you. So now there's a historical society that's trying to rectify all of that and they're sort of celebrating the 57 ghosts that officially died. But of course, it was a ship for, it was used in World War II. It was commandeered as a Navy vessel to ship troops around the world. And there was a lot of soldiers who also died on that ship. So it's not just the 57, they estimate hundreds and hundreds of people have actually died on that ship, which is kind of spooky.

But I don't know about you, Reese, but it didn't feel sophisticated enough as an operation for them to be putting in speakers with little kids. No. It's not sort of like high tech enough. It's all sort of a little bit

tired, but in a good way. Yeah. A wonderful bar where we went in, you know, Reese went conga line dancing and the bar at the front of the ship and people all dressed up in the 1920. kind of steves. That's so cool. It was a really fun night.

Highly recommend it. Are we going to be able to see any experience? Is there a cryptid factor Patreon video or something happening with this? I think there is. There certainly is. Oh, that's exciting. Can I get an illegal copy because I'm not on the right tier to see that video on the Patreon? No, you've got to either come along to the ghost hunts or pay for the tier.

Dang. It's like, come on. Either way, you have to pay. That's fair. That's fair. Yeah. Yeah. All right, let's go to your story, Dan.

Okay. So this is a story that has happened in late January, where a man decided to go on a Bigfoot expedition with his ex-wife and his wife found out and filed for divorce off the back of it. This better not be a Shrive reveal. That better not be a net man was me. That's going to be a hell of a way to announce Valentine's Day.

It is very worrying. All right, so here we go. I'm going to share the... Oh, sorry, this is... Oh, that's the gardening. This is a website that I like to visit. Gardening-hagenel.com.uk, if anyone's looking for good gardening service. So this is a news report on the story.

So let's find out. A BC man's obsession with finding Sasquatch has led to quite a contentious. divorce. According to a recent decision, handed down a BC Supreme Court, an unnamed 57-year-old man's repeated hunts for Sasquatch is the reason why he is not entitled to spousal support. The couple separated in 2020. After the wife found out, he went on one of these searches with his ex-girlfriend. He tried to claim spousal support from her, saying he was injured on one of those trips, leaving him unable to work. But the judge didn't buy it because, a man had since gone on multiple camping, fishing, and Sasquatch hunting trips.

Oh my God. Who is that guy? He's giving us Sasquatch hunters a bad name. Yeah, he's got unnamed situation going on here where we don't know who he actually is. I'm not sure we're the kind of podcast that would call him out anyway, though. Why not? So he's not a legit Bigfoot hunter, is he? Well, perhaps he is.

Well, I mean, it sounds like he's been on multiple expeditions. Yeah. This particular one was in 2020. But yeah, he's just a very random reason for. You know, you've got a lovely wife and she's amazing. But there's just a couple of things that she's just not into. And so you do get on Facebook and just, you know, contact an old flame for a bit of a big foot hunt. Are you revealing that you're going out with ex-girlfriends?

Or you find someone new who's into it. Like, you know, I'm on Tinder. You know, it's not anything other than a Bigfoot hunt. It's innocent. It's, you know, it's not only is it innocent. It's imaginary. Keen to go looking for some big feet as it were. No, I mean actual Bigfoot.

I'm looking for Bigfoot. Big feet. Yeah, so there's not much more of that story other than it's just wonderful to see a Bigfoot hunt, yeah, tangled up in a love triangle. I love it. Well, good luck to them all, and I think she's probably done the right thing

by getting rid of them. Yeah, be honest with your partner, and if you do have a hobby that they're not into, that's normal, okay? Everyone's not into the same thing. You know, it's the differences that make you special together. How's that? Do you want to write that down?

Yeah, I might write that down, actually. Is the differences that make you special together? I mean some people do say it's the similarities. No, no, no. Well, this is the thing, you see, and this is by the Great Glass House. Let's be honest, whose quarter culture of creation is often flourishing. Very flourishing. Very flourishing.

Now, that could have gone in the cryptid buzz. Yeah. But it was nice to have it all the same. Do we have any cryptid news? I have some animals doing weird. things news. Oh, and let's do that. Okay, editing note, have me going,

do you remember that old segment we had about animals doing strange things? Yes, I do. How did that sting go again? It goes like this, but of course we'd need some news to go with that sting. And as it happens, I have some news of animals doing weird things.

this is my new favourite bit where I have got something in my head I want to do that's going to be worth the record and then buttons comes in and does one of his very slow, loose improv overacting pieces to link us to something that you just absolutely linked us to

it's very good eh already linked us to about three minutes beforehand you can never have enough links guys you can never have enough links. That's what everybody keeps telling me. That's why the chains you wear are just so long. Yes. We've always got those extra links.

And you have to remember, guys, I'm still standing. Oh, yeah. I'm getting very tired. Can we get a Mr. Storman of the Year Award update? How's Mr. Storman? Well, good. Quick update. No change.

Nobody's come in to ask for anything. I mean, I've got old bottles of water here. So what's on that whiteboard in the background there? Oh, good question. What does it pertain to? Oh, it's everybody's secret code words. Ah. It's quite well.

How many deathbeds are you doorstopping buttons? Can I just quickly get a quick code word? And you're writing them down. Yeah. Everyone is just about to shuffle off the mortal coil. You're just opening the hospital. door in the last minute and go, sorry, buttons here.

Any chance of getting a code word just when you do pass through. I'm just, I've got a white board back in the store. Keep it to three letters. I can't really remember anything beyond it. No, it'll be like license plates. I'm starting with three letters and three numbers and then to slowly extend and keep going to like

I'm up to four letters now and two numbers. If you compile all the code words from everyone who dies, you're going to have so much power. control the afterlife. I get your plan. This is maybe, this is now a new purpose for me in life.

I could be a past life code word checker so that if people call me or send me an email with their special code word that they want to communicate, and I've got a little book full of like all these code words for people. I keep very secret

and it's only between me. And that could be a good job for me. Really good. Really good. Yeah, agreed. I could maybe go on stage like Mystic Meg and then go up there and be like, I've got a word, I've got a word, it's car. Does car mean anything to anybody?

Why are you saying it? You're meant to be verifying it. You're not just saying their last words. Okay, good point, good point. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. People could come and yell words at me and I'm like, no, close, close, no, just a little bit longer, forward. No, that's not them either.

Sorry. And all the code words are just like, who are you? Who's this mad? What are you doing? Where have my children? I've got minutes left. Does that sound familiar to anyone? I think it's a good business model, though.

That's a very cool idea. Yeah, yeah. Oh, we're still doing the animals doing weird things, aren't we? Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Animals doing weird things. things. The animals aren't weird but the things they do are. Yeah. Okay. Well, actually, I've just thought about it. This isn't actually animals doing weird things. This is animals doing perfectly

normal things. Oh, God. Okay. Do we have that sting? Animals doing perfectly normal things. What a great podcast this is. We need to do an episode. The World Normal News. Animals found in places they should be. It's one episode of total norm Exactly What it is though Is that it is animals doing perfectly normal things But it's basically kind of an idea

That they are saving the world Again like these whales Eating the kayakers But this is a bunch of beavers In Czech Republic It says here the title is Czech Dam Project Was Stalled by bureaucracy

Beavours built their own. Oh, okay. So what happened is that there was a dam project that was drafted in 2018, and it was in a former military training site south of Prague. And this project had been delayed by land negotiations since 2018. Right. People just went back there just now,

and local beavers have built almost the perfect plan, almost exactly to what the project was. was planning to do, but it was going to cost over a million euros to be able to do this damming project. And the beavers just came in whilst they were mucking around trying to figure out and built exactly what was needed. Perfect for free. That's amazing. Arguably better than what they would have been able to do themselves because they would have done it with concrete and materials that weren't great. These beavers done it all out of obviously natural products. Wow. My question is, this dam was meant to be quite big obviously.

It was going to be human constructed. These beavers must have built a huge dam. Damn big. Yeah. Good night. I'm out of here. It's one of those dams you look at and you go, damn.

Big. And to your mind, the beaver made dam is as strong as something made of concrete and what have you. Well, it's still. What they... So the whole reason for building the dams, I think was for a revitalisation area, for wetlands and to be able to bring back local wildlife and all that.

Oh, brilliant. So they were going to, you know, build these dams to be able to hold back water to increase wildlife. So I'm thinking of a hydro dam. That's why I'm kind of baffled. I'm thinking of something that, you know, James Bond would bungee jump off

and golden eye. It's a very high... object to be made of sticks and mud. That would be amazing. If they've made a hydro dam that actually generated electricity, that would be worthy of animals doing weird things. I get now why you're saying it's animals doing their own usual normal things. Exactly.

It's amazing. These beavers know what nature needs. They're clearly doing this because they can tell that they're, well, I would like to think that they can tell that life is out of balance. and that they need to do this to be able to help all the local wildlife. Well, that's an interesting point. You say that animals know that life is out of balance. Now, that's exactly it.

That's exactly why you've got these whales and orcas making, you know, a raucous movement, getting closer to the shallows. You've got oarfish coming up. You've got these fish from the deep, deep, never seen before in the shallows coming up. perhaps they know that there's an unbalance and they're letting us know somehow or they're just letting each other know that nature is letting itself know, you know?

You guys do know. I do know, we know no, we now know. Good stuff. All right, well we can't promise you that I'll make the edit, but we've got a few stories here. We've just got another caller on the line. What have they got? What have they got?

Hello? Is that the car backing up? No, that's the engaged sound on a phone. Young listeners won't even know about landlines and whatnot. But back on the day, we used to have landlines and used to have a phone with a handset. Yeah. Do you have one in your home, Dan? No, I'd like one.

Yeah. I'd love an old school one. And I think you're right. It allowed you to know when someone had hung up on you. because otherwise you just keep talking for five minutes, yeah. That's right. And then it goes, do-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d. I think I know that sound well because I think I was hung up on a lot.

When I was a kid, I remember trying to get playdates happening or call a girl. Call a girl. And so, yeah, I walked away with a lot of... Do-d-d-d-d-d-d-da-da-da. Mom, I think she's hung up. I'm guessing, yes. Well, if you had two phones as well Mum could be listening in on it as well

So she could literally be going Yeah, she's hung up We used to do that And that sometimes is in the movies And you're talking to someone on the phone And you can hear another phone And the house being picked up Oh, you're like, hello

And then you kind of pick it up And you can hear that I can hear you listening to me Was it the same sound When the FBI started tapping your phone lines And you know You hear the same thing And you'd be talking away about

your big drug deals or whatever and then you hear cockick and you go Mum, is that you? No, it's the FBI. Oh yeah. Is that what they say? No, it's the FBI.

Just keep talking. Oh, okay. So anyway, what I thought we might do is go roller skating. Oh, yeah. And, you know, I mean, you can hire your own skates. I've got my own if you want. But, yeah, we can meet at 8 o'clock

and mum can drop me there. And, oh, yeah, I don't really like you. Okay, we've heard enough. This is the FBI. Out. Hello? Hello? They're both on me.

Susan, I've got my own skates. Hi, it's your mother here. Oh, hi, ma'am. You listening? Yeah, yeah. I don't think she's interested, dear. But who is the other guy? Hey, that's just the FBI.

Can you hear us? Yeah, I'm just staying bed. I just wanted to make out like I was on the phone No, well, you're in my bedroom with me Yeah, I know, it's a bit weird, isn't it? No, no, I left my husband years ago. Rees knows about it. Mom?

Oh, you listening to her? Yeah, what's, who's that? Is it the FBI? Yeah, no. Get off the phone, really? Okay, I can see you. You know, I'm just down the hallway. Oh, God, he's looking at us.

Fuck's sake, could have closed the door. Oh, God. You should be the one closing door. secret spy and all that. Oh, I look. Please just put the phone down. Hi, guys. Oh, he's in the room.

Oh, that's amazing. And people wonder why you're so messed up. I mean, they're going up in a house like that, my God. FBI just hanging out with your mom in the bedroom. Official business only, of course. It's a FBI, Mum? Oh, yes, well, you've seen him now. Oh, court.

FBI with my little eye. Spy, me. Ah, yeah, you. All right, that's enough for you, too. The federal bedroom investigation unit. This bedroom seems to all be in order. I'll go and check the next one. I don't know.

I won't look at yours, don't we? I've got to go next door now. Are you off, are you? Yes, yes, yeah, I'll head off. Your voice has changed a bit. Well, I'm a spy. You don't know who I have. One moment I'm this.

One moment I'm that. So... Wow, a real spy, eh, ma'am? Yes, I suppose you could say that. A bedroom spy? Bedroom spy. All right, well, that's all right, well, that's all we've got time for this week, guys. Like I said, I will let you know

We do have more callers You might want to check I think they've all hung up as well I think they have I think they just have Do do do do do Do do do do Yeah they're all gone

We're out of stories I love that your hang-up noise Dubs is Morse code Basically They're sending me a message They're sending me a message No, they've just hung up on you Sorry

She must really fancy me She's continued the chat in Morse code She knows I love that Oh Hang on What's happened What's he done? What's he done?

I've just looked up What three dots is And Morse code Your girlfriends just keep going Mum She just keeps giving me this She's morse coding me S. Dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot.

I'm writing it down. There's lots of S's. S. The worst part about that bit is that you had to look up what three dots was on Morse code. It's the most common, the only one anyone knows is dot dot dot dot dot dot dash dash dash dot dot dot. SOS. I thought I'd heard it before. I thought I'd heard three dots.

Okay, well, if that's all the calls. Well on that... Okay, and here we go. This is the end of the show part. But what about Reese? Has he done his Derby's disclosures yet? Or are we going to tease it again? Oh, this is my favourite bit where I was about to do an improv

to get us into the next bit. And he has interjected with a very badly drawn out acted piece. He's got his sash back on those. So Mr. Storroom is still going to win the award. Mr. Stormman, 2025 here? Anything you need from the store? Okay, well, unfortunately, we have run out of time. We were going to do Adabies disclosures,

but once again, we're just going to have to do a double tease. Tickle, tickle, tickle, because that will be featuring next week. So look forward to that. Yay. How exciting. Another tease. I wasn't going to tune in anymore, but no, no, no. now I will.

I love it when, you know, I'm thinking what people are going to think, but then luckily Buttons goes into a very poorly acted, a long, drawn-out version of that to help entice listening to viewers alike. I want to add one more thing before we finish. I joined very randomly the other day the Patreon crypted cocktails that Helena and buttons do. Yes, you did. That was fun.

It was so fun. It was so great. It lasted. like three hours long. Oh, really? Everyone's on there and everyone contributes and gives updates and what they're up to in their life. And Kalina comes up with this amazing cocktail each time. Wow.

It was awesome. It was so cool. So if anyone goes to our Patreon, I would actually recommend going to that tier so that you can do these cocktail sessions. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah. It is the highlight of my month because we do it once a month and I get to hang out with my daughter and day drink. Because, of course, we have to do it at like 10 o'clock. in the morning on a Sunday making these cocktails and everybody makes them along with us or most

people make them along with us and some of the ingredients are so ridiculous and they're all based on an obscure cryptic and then Helena sort of makes them like but the cocktails are way more arts and craft yeah actual cocktail making much. The drawings were amazing yeah we should put some up on the Instagram and stuff but like everyone was making them wow it was awesome well done buttons and Helena for that. It was cool. That was really cool. Sounds to me like a cryptid cocktail coffee table book could be in order.

Yes. Yeah, definitely. Wow, there's this wonderful cryptid knight, Jesse, and after every cocktail, we name the cocktail, and then Jesse draws a little picture and does the cocktail list, so we are actually making a cocktail book.

Oh, wow. Then the other thing is, is that we've actually turned it into a cult, because we have... Just quiet. No, because we have a little saying because we got a little fortune cookie and it was kind of like a little cult saying. So we decided we're all such good friends

and we all really love hanging out so much that we turned it into a cocktail cult. I think we might be the first ever cult that is formed in and around drinking. Yeah. So we're quite proud of that. That would surprise me if that's the truth. but that's cool.

But that's the other reason for the sash. I just turn the sash over and it goes from Mr. Stormann, 2025, to Mr. Colt Leader 2025. Oh, right. Like it. Okay, well, just heads up to anyone who's going to join. Maybe have a quick think about not joining now

off the back of the way we've just heard. Well, just, yeah, just know where you're heating if you do join. I mean, it's a nice colt. Leon doesn't do anything by halves. And if you see a month where an asteroid is passing closely and Leon and Helena are promising you a life on the back of the asteroid and cyanide is part of the ingredients

maybe back out of that one maybe let all Colty buttons do that one on his own we'll be practicing that one if you get what I mean Oh yes, yes, yes, good lovely. And let's not forget of course

Car All right boys, see you next week Bye bye It's actually four beeps anyway.