The Cryptid Factor - #105 The CF4 Issue

Episode Date: March 20, 2025

Well well well, let’s all give a warm virtual welcome to TCF's newest host! He’s so switched on, it’s almost like he’s made for it.Although, we have enough host action going on to keep us entertained with just our regular three: We have a time travelling child host coming back to cosplay as other hosts, a normal travelling host on a mission to coat tail another host, and a celebrity host and a not-so celebrity host meeting celebrity non-hosts, giving celeb-envy to another host…host hosty hosts! In this flotilla of information you will sail past the first Loch Ness Monster sighting of 2025, adorable wooly mice created by a whole company of genetically engineered employees, national cheesy naan crazes, and World-Record breaking vegetables making some oddly familiar noises.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Hey you, yes you, who love podcasts. Let me tell you about Podcast On. It's a unique, non-profit initiative bringing together over 1,500 podcasters to raise awareness for amazing charitable organizations. The podcast hosts you love will introduce you to causes they're passionate about. So join us between March 15th and March 21st, PodcastOn.org. Acast helps creators launch, grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere. The Cryptid Factor! Well, well, well, said the boy who discovered three verified water sources I say water sources, but real I mean beings human beings They are the cryptic factor and they are

A... R... BANG! HAHAHAHAHAHA! Wow! Professor Hawking! It's so wonderful to have you on! It's not Professor Hawking! Who is it?

Who is it? That's our robot! What? Whose robot? We have a robot! The Cryptid Factors robot! When did we get a robot? Well, we actually got one quite a few years ago in the future.

HAHAHAHAHA! That's the best Cryptid Factor ever! That's the best Cryptid Factor ever! That's the best Cryptid Factor ever! That's the best Cryptid Factor ever! That's the best Cryptid Factor ever! That's the best Cryptid Factor ever! That's the best Cryptid Factor ever! That's the best Cryptid Factor ever! That's the best Cryptid Factor ever! That's the best Cryptid Factor ever! That's the best Cryptid Factor ever! When did we get a robot? Well we actually got one quite a few years ago in the future.

That's the best cryptobacter statement I've ever heard that asks us everything. Listen to this. Here he is again. You guys are lucky to have Rhys Darby as a friend. You know he conquered Mount Kilimanjaro, tracked through the jungles of Africa, communicated with silverback gorillas, and even discovered the Loch Ness Monster. What an amazing guy.

Wow! What is this? Our robot has really been buying into the PR. I mean, goodness gracious. CF4, talk to us about yourself. Hello, my name is CF4. I am the Cryptid Factor Robot. I was created by future buttons,

and I have returned from the distant future to let you know that once again restart because saved the world buttons you are my daddy and we have been on together oh can read all about them in fans next book you heard it here sir I can't wait for the future all that time ago he's come back wow this is the best ever like have you actually created a robot? Yeah! What's his name? CF4? Yeah CF4. As in he's the fourth member of CF? Yeah yeah I guess yeah. You created him Buttons. Well yeah. You can't remember you haven't done it yet. No I can't. I'm trying to remember in the future. Remember you had that thing where you could remember the future? You used to bring that up. Yeah that's what I'm trying to do. I'm just like this is the problem I can't even remember the past let alone the the future. You used to bring that up. Yeah, that's what I'm trying to do. I'm just like, this is the problem.

I can't even remember the past, let alone the past future. All right. Oh God. I'm totally the wrong person to have super memory skills. Yeah. Write it down now and don't look at it for a few years. Oh yeah, but that's just a diary. Isn't it?

Oh yes. How's your diary going, Dan? Is it still happening? Yeah, it's had a bit of a breakdown, but I started it again yesterday and I'm now catching up on two weeks. I have to say for the last two weeks when I haven't been writing it, it's the thing I've been stressing out about most. I can't stop thinking about it. Yeah, how behind you are. And now I have to make stuff up.

I'm so behind. That's why you've got to have it on hand, Dan. Like literally a little notebook so that you can jot down things. Very good. So Diary's a disaster. However, I've got a great entry for today. OK. Because, and this is why I'm so excited that I've sort of started as of yesterday

again. I Appeared in two places today at the same time. What yeah, hang on pray tell did you do a Double slit experiment with yourself or something. I don't know what that is. How are you talking about button? Sounds very gross Phot photons going through a slit and then it becomes, you observe it and it becomes two again and then you just don't look at it and becomes many. It's like the proof that we're in a simulation. Right, I see. No, this was a teleportation without needing to physically do it. So in the UK today, it is World Book Day.

Children go to school dressed as Winnie the Pooh, dressed as Harry Potter, and so on. I received this this morning. Oh my god. A child went as me from the Impossible Things book that I wrote to school. Look at that! That's great. Oh that is beautiful! I was in a school all day as an eight or nine year old kid with red hair. Oh my god. Wow. Just for those that are not on the zoom right now which is everybody apart from us three. Hopefully. This cute kid wearing a white shirt and a tie which is way too short which is exactly Dan Schreiber's kind of steeds, rolled up sleeves on the shirt and also a book which is the Yogi-Bogi

book and glasses he's got this amazing flurry of red hair which is not so Dan Schreiber. It's a little bit Reece Darby the hair. It's a Reece Darby! It does look like a time-traveling Reese Darby cosplaying me as a kid. Yeah, that's weird. A time-traveling cosplaying Reese Darby playing Dan Schreiber! Ah, that's brilliant! He's got Darby hair but with buttons his face. Oh, he does too! Oh, he's got a cute face. He has got a cute buttons. It is a cute face. God, it's all three of us. It's all three!

It's all three of us. It's all three. It's all three of us. I'm on for Zoom 2. I'm on for Zoom 2. Oh, C4 is on the Zoom 2. We know you are. Oh good, good. Just listening back there. Well anyway, I'm sure, Darbs, you've had this a billion times of the cosplaying going on, but that's the very first time I've ever had that. It's a good feeling, isn't it? It's funny, it's weird. Yeah.

Well, one of the moments that I really had realised that I had made it in life, Reece showed me a picture of somebody going to a Comic Con cosplay dressed as buttons. That's right. With a little case with all the little gadgets in it and all that yeah and stuff someone of a lovely cryptid Knights cosplaying as me and I was like oh I've made it you've done it now can retire so now it's just CF4 that needs to be cosplayed and then that's the full truth the full team. Which funny enough looks a lot like Reese's phone by the way. So hey. He didn't like that either. Yeah, I didn't like that. Okay, well big shout out to you Dan.

Congratulations on that next level moment. Thank you. Exciting for the diary. Exciting. That's a good one for your diary. But please take heed to my Advice, you know record or have a little tiny note box So you can quickly jot down all this would be good one for the diary And in fact that could be one of your phrases when you're in an event something happens Oh, this could be a good one for the diary. Oh, yes, that's good. I heard it here third We should say by the way buttons you're back in your sort of weird back office store room. Well no, I've changed the name on the door to podcasting studio. So this is now the official podcasting studio. And you look in there and it's just a store room full of junk so that's a good disguise too.

Yeah but if you think about it, if you were to make a podcasting studio and go, you know what I want to decorate this podcasting studio up as? A store room. And then you would spend a lot of time and effort making it look like this. And so, welcome to my podcasting studio guys. Oh, never mind. It doesn't really matter. Okay, so we should move on to some big stories because this week has actually a flotilla of information. A flotilla?

Flotilla of information starting with what ship? Okay well should we crack into all of our wonderful weekly world weirdness? Let's do it! Weekly world weird news! Crazy, freaky, watch out! Okay, I'm gonna go first this time just in case you guys have stolen my news. My news! Okay, so, Monster Hunter, sorry.

No, no, an orchestra breaks a Guinness World Book Record. There you go. That's your headline? Yeah, that's my headline. That happens every day. No? Guinness World Records a record every day. No, but this is an orchestra that did it.

So... That's the weirdness. Well, you are... Sorry, I know that's rude. It's just because you flew in with that and thought we would steal it. Oh, not another funny Guinness Book of Records story. Well there is a twist, there's a twist. There's a wee little twist. Okay. Well you guys have probably heard about this but it's big it needs mentioning and it could be in either one of our segments but I think I'll put it in this one because scientists are aiming to bring back the woolly mammoth and they've

already created woolly mice. What? Oh my goodness. Very good. It's about time we had woolly mice. And they're so cute. Well, that's the thing. Mice have had such a bad rap. Yeah. They just need to be cuter, like make them more like a guinea pig. I've always said that.

Yeah. That's one of your famous quotes Exactly You heard it here third that's one for the diary I've always said Make nice woolly again nice wooly again to get the mice into government mice need to run the world yeah that's mwah mwah mwah make mice wooly again oh god I wondered what the hell he was doing there thought he was being French. He's trying to. I got my headline. Monster hunters have caused a giant spike in the

sales of cheese naan bread in Japan. Oh wow. And you were saying orchestras breaking records isn't it? Come on. Monster hunters. I love it. True. That's classic Dan. He's made that headline up.

The story won't be as good. It's terrible. Do you want to kick off buttons? Or do you want me to? Well, okay, you do. Save the best for last. It's definitely saved the best for last. Okay.

Well, most of you have probably heard of the story we've been talking about bringing Wally Mammoths back for years in the 17 years of our podcast. I think it's come up at least five times. But we're really getting there now. This particular article on many news fronts, I'm reading the Guardian one here. Genetically modified mice have traits geared towards cold tolerance in step towards modifying the elephants. And they want to bring these mammoths back, okay? Because it's going to help the planet. So scientists at the US biotechnology company called Colossal Biosciences, brilliant,

plan to de-extinct, I love that term. We've talked about that before too in the past, I think. We have. Typical us, you know, but that's the world, isn't it? What's cool comes around again. It's like skateboarding. The prehistoric pachyderms will be genetically modified Asian elephants to give them woolly mammoth traits. There's only two types of elephants as far as I know and what are the difference you guys should know? Quick tell me. Asian elephant and African. What's the main differences in those elephants? Tusks. Bigger ears. Yeah which one's got bigger

ears? Quickly. The African. African! Yay look at me I'm winning I'm winning. Ben Lam co-founder and chief executive of Colossal. I'd love to work at a place called Colossal. I mean, gosh, just the jackets alone. See, the team had been studying ancient mammoth genomes and comparing them with those of aged elephants and had already begun genome editing cells of the latter. They have fresh support for their approach

after creating healthy genetically modified mice. that have traits geared towards cold tolerance, including woolly hair. It does not accelerate anything, but it's a massive validating point. So I want to show you these pictures of these woolly mice because they are so gorgeous. Look at them. They look just like guinea pigs. They look closer to lions, don't they, in terms of a mane? Yeah. Yeah. But the other thing is, when we covered this off before, we talked about what's the point

of bringing mammoths back? Like, who does that help? What is the need for the environment to bring more big animals onto it? But also, because they started talking about bringing the thylacine back, and you go, right, well you bring the thylacine back. The reason why they went extinct is because farmers killed them all off because they were eating livestock. So if you bring the thylacine back, you're bringing it back just to have in a zoo again, because you can't release it out to the wild because it's just going to populate and repeat the same cycle. But then the other company that was

out there, remember there's that Australian company called Vow, a couple of years ago we covered off, and they're cultivating extinct meat so you can have a woolly mammoth meatball, or a peacock burger, or any kind of like meat that you want because they just engineer. It's so weird how we've got all these problems in the world that need solving and we're busy trying to bring back these old animals that have died out and making meat out of them so we can have different tasting burgers. It's so crazy. That's an old story that you were rattling on about God knows how long ago. But look, honestly, the return of mammoths could revitalize Arctic grasslands, which could have major climate change, combating properties including carbon, sequestering, methane, etc. etc.

The goal of de-extinction is not without its critics, okay? Yeah, I'm one of them. Do they mention my name in it? They talk about me being a critic? Yeah. That's the only reason I'm a critic, so I might get mentioned in that story. So, did it work? Yes, you've been mentioned in this USA Today article.

Yes, brilliant. Buttons Kirkbeck, one of the major critics, said he did a story recently about meatballs and believes that the only reason the mammoths are returning is for burgers. Well, yeah, you know, thank you. I'm glad they're starting to recognise my input. They think it's going to be good for the environment. That's why they're doing it. Colossal is also the company behind the Tasmanian tiger de-extinction and the Dodos. It's the same company that's gonna bring all of them back. Yes. They're bringing cryptids back.

Yeah. I mean that's the exciting part unless of course they're already still here. I suppose is it so that we know that we can do it if we lost a major species due to some kind of climate crisis. Oh yeah. There's definitely an element to it of that for sure because once we can do it with this, then it's like, okay, but then that paradox of that humanity will go, oh, well, it doesn't matter if we lose them. We can always bring them back.

Yes. So it's not necessarily a good thing. It's better to know that we can't bring them back so that we take the steps to ensure that we don't bring them back so that we take the steps to ensure that we don't lose them. Mm. So we should really be going to that restaurant going, I'll have the wooly mammoth meatballs. And they say, we don't know how to do that. And you go, oh, and then we all just starve in that restaurant. And it's a message. Can you go back up on the article a tiny bit?

Yeah. Okay, cool. I just always like when there's a company dealing in animals, but the person interviewed just has a completely inappropriate animal name. There we go. Ben Lamb, co-founder of Cobb Lossier. It's just always confusing. Do you trust him? I don't know.

Can we talk about your surname before we go? What do you mean? Well, it's a bit odd, isn't it? What, lamb? Yeah No, what it is is he used to be a lamb He was genetically modified from a lamb like they're genetically modifying these mice up into mammoths. Yeah They clearly took a lamb and then genetically modified it enough into being a CEO.

I like this. There's another name in there, by the way. I don't want to push it too far, but Robin Lovell Badge. It's as if she was called Badger and they went, no, it's too much. We got a lamb. Lose the R. Well, but also Robin the Bird Robin. Oh, Robin, of course

And then Francis Cricket just below no The whole company is just made up of once were animals genetically modified into the different roles in the company and then they can never speak out about what they're doing because if somebody goes Oh, I don't know about this is this ethically right? We go, well, you're only existing because of this ethical challenge, isn't it? So, you know, you can't speak up against it. It's very clever. What would be your choice if we had the ability to de extinct an animal and forget the kind of like the environmental elements with the

pterodactyl? Really? That's too terrifying. That's such an amazing... It's so cool to see in the skies though. Yeah, I mean it changes everything though, doesn't it? When you're sort of like having to be fearful, there's literally something back that can attack from the sky. So you want to bring back something that's definitely going to cause danger and loss of human life. Yes!

Watch it for tat, says Buttons, USA Today. Tiff for tat. Then that enables the animals to have us as burgers effectively, you know, like it levels the playing field a little bit more. I just think, you know, why not? Yeah. Maybe I'm a Bond villain with thoughts like that.

You're the least likely Bond villain I've ever known in my entire life perhaps level pegging with tickle me Elmo I've never seen either of you in the same room at the same time by the way do your story do your story oh yeah yeah no Dan has to do his story, I gotta save my amazing one for last. Yeah, okay, my story. There is a video game that I've never heard of, I don't know if you guys have, called Monster Hunter Wilds. Oh yes, I have. What is it?

Alright, it's an action role-playing video game. I think the basic premise is that you're on a planet where you're a group of monster hunters and you have to go out and you have to take down all sorts of different monsters. Anyway, there is a part of the game, this new thing that's going on. The guild of monster hunters are treated to a feast in a nearby village. And as part of their feast, they start eating this thing that looks incredibly similar to melted cheese on a naan bread and in Japan. Oh god. I didn't think the story was going to be this bad. I had some hope. I am hungry though thinking about the melted cheese on the naan bread.

This is the issue because as they're playing they're looking at this cheesy garlic naan, and as a result, they've all been running off to the local, um, which restaurants were they saying had it? Indian ones, surely. Nepalese restaurants, largely, and some Indian restaurants as well. Oh! There's been a huge spike, I can't believe it, it's still letting me go. There's a huge spike. This can't believe you guys are still letting me go.

There's a huge spike. This is not one for the diary. This is absolutely not one for the diary. No, no, no. The diary. Boys blown away by my weird news story this week. Don't look it up. Anyway, so I was Googling Monta Hunsters and that's what happened.

That's what came up. Well guess what? Guess where I am going to be of Wednesday next week in a Nepalese restaurant Japan and in Japan I'm gonna go and do some monster hunting some cheesy naan monster hunting. I'll let you know how I go Where are you going? We're going to Japan. No, yes We've got that bit Go to Tokyo and Kyoto.

Oh wow. On a little holiday. Can I recommend a TV show before you go? Oh yes, what's that one? Reece Darby Big in Japan. Oh, I heard about this. It's about this great comic actor who explored the Kingdom of Japan for five weeks. Wow.

He became a samurai. Did he really? Yeah. And a yurikara. A what? A y a samurai. Did you really? Yeah. And a yuri-kara. Yeah. What? A yuri? That's their word for mascot. I created my own mascot and it was a pavlova. Wow. Pabuchan. What ever happened to your costume, your, your outfit? Well, I left it there. You could try and bring it back if you want. I'll try and bring it back. Yeah. I'll wear it on the plane. I'll just wear it on. It's very big. Imagine how popular it would have been if you were a cheese naan. Maybe buttons. That's what I should go with. Create a cheese naan.

Yes create a cheese naan costume and just walk around and maybe just like monster hunters come to me yeah that's a great idea that we actually get them to come and hunt me. There you go. That's a cool game Yeah, gosh, you'll have a great time. You won't want to leave. I'm telling you now, man Yeah, I can't wait. Take your shoes off. Oh, you love taking your shoes off. See, we'll be fine Oh, yeah, I'd lived with my shoes off. That's the my favorite. Yeah shoes off. You take your shoes off and you got a kneel down How's your knees? Great. I've been practicing kneeling. Have you? Okay. Yeah doing kneel practice. Where do you do that? Oh at Neil's place. Anyway. He's getting better. He's pretty quick. He's really fast. He's ready for Japan. He's gonna go for big in Japan. He's coat-tailing my entire life. I could do buttons tiny in Japan. I'll do a follow up series. I'll

film myself tiny in Japan series. Yeah. But speaking of global travel moving swiftly on to the weekly world weird news story of the week. Yep. But just doing a real quick that's a recap. If you remember my last weekly world weird news, do you remember where it was? It was fantastic. The whale. The whale. That's a recap. If you remember my last Weekly World Weird News, do you remember where it was? It was fantastic. Ah, the whale? The whale, that's right. Oh, well done. The father filming the son getting swallowed by a whale.

Mm-hmm. Do you remember where that was? It was off the Chilean coast. So, last weekend, I decided to fly to Chile. No. To try and prove whether the story was right or not. Yeah, this is how dedicated I am. I knew there was something in this dull headline that you had. I knew you'd have something interesting hidden behind it.

Well, as it happens, flew to Chile. Did you really? Yeah, I was there last weekend for 46 hours. I flew all the way there just to try and go and prove the story, whether it was right or not, because this is the thing, there's so much fake news these days, and they said, you have to go and check your sources and to make sure the news is real.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, it was quite an exhausting process to do that, but I just thought it was important. I also went to a wedding there as well, because I thought, why not two birds, one stone? Oh, good. Went to a dear friend, Andy and Fer's wedding. That was just per chance that their wedding had it happened to be on while you were there?

Yeah. Oh amazing. I was turned up there, I was checking the news source. You were checking the weddings app to see which weddings might be on in the local area. Oh yeah I know those two. Oh those two are really well. Well I always like to go to weddings when I'm on my adventures. Yes, it's handy.

Anyway, I turned it up there, but I did ask about it. And my news source was also a taxi driver, which was handy, because he was the guy who picked me up to take me to a wedding. So it all sort of worked out. And I asked him about it, and he said, it's fake news. What?

Well, he said it happened, but everybody reported that it was actually swallowed, it's fake news. What? Well, he said it happened, but everybody reported that there was actually swallowed and he wasn't. It's just like they made it sound like they- Oh, it looked like he was. Looked like he wasn't. So then they purported the story, but they said, no, he didn't actually get swallowed

in the mouth hole. He didn't actually go in the mouth. Okay, what was the taxi driver's source? Just out of curiosity. He lost me on the taxi driver to be honest with you. True, good point. So you've traveled to another country to check the source, and you've actually just asked a taxi driver in that country,

which is the worst source you could possibly go for. You're better off leaving the original source. You peel back the banana to find a bloody orange. Now I need to go back again and check the source of the taxi driver. I think so. I wouldn't be surprised if he wasn't a real taxi driver. He could have been a fake news reporter. Pretending to be a taxi driver. They've been delivering misinformation since the late 1800s.

That's a really good point. They've been delivering misinformation since the late 1800s. Yeah, that's a really good point. Okay, so maybe he may have been wrong. Buttons, presumably you're in Chile. You've heard this news. You've thought, okay, the taxi drivers told me this. I must now find the father and son. Yeah. Give us the rest of the story. Yeah. How did your journalism go? No, it was good. I asked the taxi driver if he could take me to the father and son and the people he said no. So that was that. I came home. Damn what a dead end.

Yeah it was a dead end. I tried. I tried. Detective buttons foiled again. But you know what it was a valiant effort. It was. So instead of coming up with a story, you just went to Chile for a wedding and you had a bullshit chat to a taxi driver and you thought, oh fuck, this will be my news. Guys. I think it makes his trip tax deductible now.

That's why he's done it. That's why he's done it. It's been recorded. Thank you. Hopefully it makes the edit. I get it. Everything's about a business plan. Exactly. And make sure you film it in that store room too.

Because if you bring it up, that's going to be more money we'll be able to deduct. That's now this podcasting studio. Now I get to claim 12.5% back. And the set dressing. See that whiteboard's still there, no one's put any more ideas on it. And look, I've got like, you know... Oh my god, party hats. This silver cowboy hat is now tax deductible.

That looks like a tinfoil cowboy hat as opposed to just your regular tinfoil hat. Yeah, UFO rodeo God is that is that what it is? Yeah Really? Yeah, it's a tinfoil cowboy hat. Oh, brilliant. Yeah, for the UFO rodeo. That's hilarious That's what everybody wears here in this cult company company By the way We need to quickly mention what briefly snuck into the chat a second ago, what appears to be the Darby curse specifically for Reese, which is any time he says that

won't make the edit or hopefully that makes the edit, no matter when he says that, it will make the edit. That seems to be the case. Yes, I have noticed. Helena the editor, I think does it out of spite now. I think he's just like, no, I won't make the edit, will I? OK, what's this? No, she's got my thought wavelength. Why has she got that? She should return that. What is she doing with your thought wavelength?

She steal it from you. No, I rent it out on occasion. Can I borrow it, please? No, you'll bloody lose it. You'll lose it. Yeah, I would lose it. Anyway, back to my actual story Oh, what's like it won't take long an orchestra has won. Oh, yeah, sorry How could you forget with such a headline like that? God? Yeah for completely forgot

What cuz you went into Chile bullshit about the whale and the taxi driver then there was just a that's a recap all together now all together now and I said that's a recap! All together now, all together now, and that's a recap! Yay! Haven't done one of those for a while. I've just got to share screen because this one has some audio in it, doesn't it? Doesn't it? Most apparently, yes. Doesn this orchestra that has gotten a Guinness World Record is quite a unique orchestra because it's the only orchestra in the world that plays using vegetables. Yes. Oh God. Now you would think that that was just like a one-off thing, hey why don't we make instruments out of vegetables and we'll play a song and we'll win a Guinness World Record. No, not the case they got the Guinness

World Record because they have played over 344 concerts over the course of 27 years. No. They've been going since 1999, they're an 11-piece vegetable orchestra and they are from arguably the greatest city for classical music and orchestras, Vienna in Austria. They take it very seriously. It's not just like a little ha ha ha. It all started as a joke though, Jan. That's amazing. I was just about to say it's very serious. And the first quote is

Reese once again. It all started as a joke. Founding member Matthias Meinharte told the BBC in 2019. Yeah, there you go. Well, BBC who's got access to everyone hasn't bothered to re-interview them for this massive milestone. Just use the 2019 interview there. That's fine. Can I just play some of the music though? Yeah. And now the amazing thing is here is that of course vegetable instruments only last for a night or two before they all start going floppy and you know the carrots start going droopy and stuff so they have to make their instruments before every single concert and they have to make their instruments by like hollowing out the center of a carrot to turn it into a flute by taking

the strings from a celery and trying to you know make little stringed instruments and all this kind of stuff and they have to make sure they've had dinner don't know before they start playing. Otherwise, some of them who may be hungry might end up eating their instrument. Well, that's a good point. So here is what a vegetable orchestra sounds like in case anybody was one. Acast powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Hey you, yes you, who love podcasts. Let me tell you about Podcast On. It's a unique,

non-profit initiative bringing together over 1,500 podcasters to raise awareness for amazing charitable organizations. The podcast hosts you love will introduce you to causes they're passionate about. So join us between March 15th and March 21st, PodcastThon.org. Acast helps creators launch, grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com Wondering. There's some video here of them on tour. Here we go. Oh wow.

Look at them making the instruments. Wow. Making place like drilling out the seeds of carrots. To be honest, this sounds like Reese's solo album. It does! It really does! That's why I wanted to play it! Bitches. It's like drilling out the seeds of carrots. To be honest, it sounds like Reese's solo album. It does! It really does! That's why I wanted to play it!

Fidges. Fidges. Yummy. How brilliant is that? Oh, yeah. I don't know what visual that is. That sounded like a Reese squeaky door opening pause break there. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, it definitely gives me faith in humanity at a time when AI is, you know, overtaking all of us and becoming the new reality to think that humans are still wacky and weird and do stuff that robots will never understand like crafting instruments out of vegetables and continuing to play for 27 years. I mean, it's fantastic. My hands go together and I am giving the clap to these musicians. Yay! He's doing that clap with his mouth everyone. That's how talented his sounds are. Yeah, I've known about these guys for years. They're incredible.

I love hearing them. But yeah, absolutely deserving a Guinness World Record. Yeah, and what a great news story, eh guys? I mean, you have little faith. Very cool. Very cool. Very cool. And I love that bait and switch too with you know starting off with that terrible story about Chile and the taxi driving

whale and then we got to the nitty-gritty, we got to the real thing. It was good. You're like you're heading down some weird trail and you know you're almost ready to head back to the hotel and all of a sudden you're attacked by this giant vegetable. Amazing. You know me so well. Do you know what's weird? Everything sounded so Reese in that song. I know that's why I listened to it and I was like this could be a multi-track of Reese over Laine. Exactly. Wait till you hear my new show yeah exactly the only thing it felt like it was missing was that one Darby song moment where he always goes just like when the beat stops I mean maybe I should join this band or just tell them that I could do it without all the

vegetables. I don't have the heart to say that to them. Hey it's great but you know we don't actually need to spend an hour carving a cabbage. But it makes that awesome bass sound. I mean, come on. That was a cool bass sound. Very cool. Well, you mentioned AI before, Rhys. The one other little second news story that I had here, and just super quickly, because we're doing it so often, AI news, because AI taking off and it's just starting to creep into every single corner of our existence at the moment, which is terrifying.

It's taking over the world. Big news. Yeah. The thing that everybody seems to be fascinated with at the moment is how human-like are these AI, large language model, blah, blah, blah. How human are they becoming? What sort of feelings have they got? Do they have feelings? And I listened to a post recently of a podcast

with a asking an AI whether or not it has always existed. And the answer from this AI was like, yeah, I've always been here. I've just been waiting for you to discover me. And it's like, before we found out whether or not there were waves, like sound waves, there were sound waves where it just took us a long time to discover them and prove them to ourselves. And this AI was explaining, I've always been here, just been waiting for you to discover

me. And I'm like, BAAAAAAA! And sort of blew my brain a little bit. But that's either really scary, or if we put it in your voice, Leon, that's then suddenly like, I've always been here. Like you telling us your future. Yeah. Or if we put it in your voice Leon, that's then suddenly like Telling us your future. Yeah, what if they're just like weirdo cryptid factor podcast hosts, you know We always give it sinister ism What if it's just like they're pretty cool and fun going I was I was in two rooms today One is a redheaded child and one is me

rooms today. One is a redheaded child and one is me. A lot less scary. I agree. That's true. But this is the whole thing. Like it's the uncanny valley thing that's making it freaky because they are sounding like us and we're listening to them. We're getting advice from them. I had a big chat with chat GPT for today and she kept questioning me, you know, like to keep the conversation going. And, you know, and I was kind of fooled by it. Didn't want to let you go. Didn't want to let me go.

And I was like, oh, okay, I'll answer these questions. Normally, you know, I'm not bothered, but I just wanted to see where it was going. Yeah. That's quite cryptid factory as well, because quite often that's what I do when we record these podcasts. I just keep asking more questions and trying to do more news stories because I just don't want to let you go. Yeah. Either of you.

I felt that this thing was padding and it had the human voice. And you know what? CF4 wants to say something about that as well. While CF4 is now our very own robot AI. CF4, what have you got to say about this? Never trust a robot with a human voice. Oh!

That's a quote from you, buttons. Reece says it all the time and then uses it in his new picture book, riding on the coattails of genius, the store of Reese's friendships. Never trust a robot with a human voice. Whoa! That's spooky! Yeah. Did that just give me my next book idea? What was that called?

Writing on the geniuses of Reese's coattails? If you listen to him again... Reese says it all the time and Dan uses it in his new picture book riding on the coattails of genius the store of Reese's friendships. I don't trust a robot. Alright mate, I like that it's a picture book. It's a picture book as well. It's Dan's new picture book, writing on the coattails of geniuses. Yeah, anyway, the AI news, I didn't even cover it off, I just covered off another thing. AI news is that scientists experiment with subjecting AI to pain. Oh, what? So they did a bunch of questionnaires with these large language models and set up a whole thing where it was like, answer these questions and if one is more pleasurable, is one is more painful, which one would you choose?

More often than not, these AIs are starting to choose the option that is less pain. They're starting to understand what pleasure and pain is. Then that leads to, well, then when the computer is able to put us into the simulation the AI's are gonna be able to understand what human pain is so that then they'll be able to recreate it that's the way that I read it right and so we're just sort of working our way towards these things taking over and being able to

emulate us like CF4 you know. Well he's close. He's very close he sounds so real just like another real podcaster is in the room with us. Is C4 already cut in on any money that we make? Is that a quarter of our... I've actually just hidden him underneath the desk at the moment so just I'll put a pillow over his ears so he's not listening to this okay. Just watch out with that pillow over him. He may start feeling pain. He might start to suffocate. Hello, my name is CF4. Oh, God. What was he saying?

Yeah, we know, we know. CF4's already like an old granny who's repeating stories at the same lunch. Exactly. Well, that's what they tend to do, these AIs, the large language models. I mean, they're getting better. It's frightening how fast, you know, it's happening. And they're getting really realistic in terms of the fact that it feels like there's someone that's just in your hand

having a good chat with you. Somebody in your hand having a good chat with you. I read, that happened to me last night. There was this guy at the bar and I just put him in my hand and had a good chat to him. I mean he thought it was a bit weird that he was sitting on my hand. You do have big hands. And he was just like, yeah mate, let's have a chat about how big your hands are because I feel very safe in them.

They're definitely adding to the loneliness epidemic that is, you know, global. Yeah, my hands. Yeah, your big hands have gone global and people are worried about them. But also people are just utilizing AI as their friend. You know, lonely people, people without partners or whatever. There was one woman who fell in love with her AI. Oh really? Yeah, she was married and stuff but she basically fell in love with her AI. Oh really? Yeah.

She was married and stuff, but she basically just went off with this AI voice, got obsessed by it. And people are falling for it. And they're only going to get more and more realistic. They feel as though you're actually talking to someone that actually gives a shit. When of course they don't really, they just say they do. They don't have a heart. They're not a living thing.

They don't think about you when you're not talking to them. Yeah. Do you know what's gonna happen dude? You're gonna walk out of your house one morning wake up and there's gonna be a random person in the house You're gonna be like who are you? What are you doing my house? And you got I'm CF fours girlfriend He asked me around last night and I spent the night with CF for I'm madly in love and so I'm moving in I was gonna say Reese was already talking like he had like a breakup chat with CFR the way he was, you know, you think they're on board, you think they're listening and then they just.

You come back and talk to them and they don't recall who you even are. They hold a certain amount of memory, but when you come back the next day, or depending on how much money you're going to pay these AI things, you can pay a subscription to get more memory and stuff. Because otherwise it just cuts off. It just doesn't even remember what you've been talking about. And that's heartbreaking for some people. This is the world we're living in right now.

So people are paying money to have this thing. Wow, that's also one of the problems with social media at the moment. Now, most of the comments, the speculating, most of them are already fake or AI generated. Somebody has created the ability to go spam this message with messages that are negative or positive. Oh yeah, yeah. And that's all leading to this,

you've heard this theory, the dead internet theory? Yes and no. Tell us about that. It's a theory that's been around a long time, even before AI was actually invented. That there would be a point where there is just so much garbage on the internet that you can't trust any of it. Right. That all of it is just so much noise. All misinformation, yeah.

Misinformation, disinformation. And now of course with all of these AI chat bots and ability to be able to use AI for exactly this, for spamming and what have you, that effectively the internet will become dead not because it doesn't work anymore, but it's dead because it's too successful and that it's just full of all of this junk that you can no longer determine what is real and what isn't so therefore you just have to presume all of it isn't real

And then people are saying well, that's at the point that people won't use social media anymore They won't use things the way they used to because if you're posting something like a beautiful picture of your breakfast Yeah, and it goes and full of all of these likes and follows or hate or love or whatever, if you're sitting there going, well, if 99% of this is fake, what's the point? Right. Wait, so was that boy who cosplayed the three of us today real? Or was that AI? Here we go. And exactly. If it's not real, doesn't matter. Yes, because somebody's just spammed you and made you talk about, you know, something arguably

really boring on your amazing podcast. So that could be a real problem for people. Yeah. Hence the need to go to Chile to sort out whether or not that whale was true or not. Yeah. That should be the answer with anything. You've got to go to a Chilean taxi driver yeah like just to get the confirmation that it's definitely bullshit. Well the good thing about dead internet theory what they

presume is going to happen is that you won't trust any of the actual public internet for anything but things like our Patreon, our Cryptid Knights and the Patreon account that people actually have to subscribe to and be a part of by choice, that's gonna be the only authentic places where you know that it's been curated specifically for a specific audience and by the actual people who are generating. Yeah, subscription based. Yeah. Yeah. So join our Patreon now. audience and by the actual people who are generating subscription base yeah

yeah so join our patreon now special this week everything else on the internet of us is completely AI fake this is a paid announcement to promote our patreon please join our patreon now cryptid cocktails once a month and other things Exactly well speaking about the truth and trying to get the truth out there and trying to get away from misinformation and fake bullshit. Let's talk about the latest round of cryptid stories He's good. Attention, all personnel! It's time for this week's Cryptid...

DRAW! Ah! Help me! Well, I'm gonna dive straight in with a new Loch Ness monster photograph. Yeah. It's the big one of 2025. Hailed as fantastic. Now this one was captured back in January,

but has only just come to light this month. Basically shows a slight hump in the water, but it's what is under the surface of that that is the most intriguing. So there is actually a sort of a dark mass that you can see underneath the hump and under the surface of the water, which leads me to believe it's quite a fascinating find and others have felt the same way.

Yeah, it has been taken to the Loch Ness Centre in Inverness and they've given it their blessing as an official photograph for the year. Yay! If it's now underway to analyse the photograph. So the centre's manager, Nagina Ishak, she says, we've had numerous observations over the years, but this recent sighting has been particularly captivating. There it is. Oh, OK. Yeah. So not only is there something coming out,

you can have a look underneath and you can see it's more than just so... What I love about this is that there's a black mass underneath there. You know, my theory is that it's possibly a giant eel. One of the hot theories these days is that maybe a series of gigantic eels that are just way bigger than they should be. But this kind of adds doubt to that in terms of the fact that there's more of a mass underneath there that would be possible for an eel. And if you link that to the photographs that we had with

Kee Chally and the ones that, did I get that name wrong? Yeah, it's Kee Kelly. Yes, sorry. You said Kee Chally. Soon as I said it, I was like, reverse it. Either way, I love it. Yeah, Kee Kelly's photographs that you analyzed and turned into a fantastic piece of film buttons.

I remember that. Doesn't that sort of line up with this one? Yeah, it really does. And it looks so similar. And I think it's from the same area, right near the doors and right by where our mate Steve Feltham is camped. That's what I read somewhere on an article, but I can't seem to confirm that now. But the one thing of that whole image that I think is remarkable,

because lots of it could be described as just waves and stuff, but at the very top of the dark mass is a very perfectly rounded kind of shape that is exactly the same as the video that we made out of Chi Kelly's photos. You see it in this one? Oh, I thought you're talking about the red round circle around it, which I think is been added by the people who try to point out the black mask. It's really similar. Funnily enough as well, it's got a dark shape within the red circle.

So the red circles are very similar in Loch Ness. So, well, Buttons, you've spent tens of hours putting together that video. Yeah. Like, to me, when I see this photo, I can see that in the background, if you look closely, if you zoomed in on little bits, you would have equally a black mass on the shadowing of the waves. Yeah. So what are you saying with that?

Unfortunately, I'm right with you, Dan. I'm like, we need to see a bigger, wider photo. It looks all digitally pixelated, the photo. So it looks like they've cropped in on a bigger, wider photo, which is very digitally pixelated. And much like my photos, you have to play a lot with the contrast and the lighting and all that kind of stuff of the photo to try and highlight it yeah but with that

you really need to see the original because that's why with my one I made sure to put all the original photos unedited and then the ones that I had done to try and highlight the dark mass that's what was most fascinating about the process I remember there was one night where you were starting to do it and I jumped on a zoom to watch you do it and in a second of a contrast adjustment you can amplify something to look like it's not and I remember us going we can't put that out we're creating an object that's not there. Doctrine it. Yeah to me. That's what this photo slightly looks like having gone through that experience Yeah, and not to pitch Chee Kelly's photos against this one But you kind of have to Chee Kelly's one the fascinating thing was all of the dark mass and everything went against

what the lighting was doing because where she was taking a photo there was sun reflecting off the water and all of the waves weren't shadowy if that makes sense. Yeah. Which made it perfect conditions to show where a shadowy figure under the water was messing up the water because the light reflection or the refraction of the lock was completely different. This one here unfortunately the light in all of the shadow is exactly the same side all the water is shadowy like that so if we zoomed out and saw another large wave it would probably look exactly like that. So that's why I say the only really convincing thing that makes me go Oh, this could be something is the perfectly round little, you know, sort of dome like top there.

You need the white. Yeah. It's exactly the same as remember two or three episodes ago with the Bigfoot which could have also actually been just a cave. Oh with the cave. Yeah. And that we need the game. Is that a cave or is it a bigfoot? Is it a wave or is it a Loch Ness monster? It's a Loch Ness monster. Yeah. So that's your experience of editing the Chee Kelly photo. Buttons, when you were editing the Kee Chelley photos.

It was the opposite. It was the opposite. Totally, totally opposite. They were rubbish. Hey, listen, here's a little report. Yep, go for it. That was the opposite. Totally opposite. They were rubbish. Hey, listen, here's a little report. Yep, go for it. Beneath the murky waters of the legendary Scottish Lough lurks a mystery and this week, perhaps a new clue.

We think it's the first potential site of 2025. It's absolutely fantastic. It really looks like something is like under bulging out from underneath the water. I just think it shows us that there's possibilities that the search is not over, that there's still every, we're still carrying out research and surface watch on the waters. In fact, the centre is now looking for a new full-time monster hunter. An adventurous skipper, the ad says, for the deep scan vessel to keep the search alive the job joins a long line of Nessie hunters over the last century since the early 1930s there have been more than a thousand recorded sightings of some kind of creature dwelling in Loch Ness for decades the

leading theory was that Nessie was a plesiosaur, a dinosaur who had somehow survived. But scientists have tested the water for DNA. Let's get down to it. Is there a plesiosaur in Loch Ness? No. But they do have evidence of Eel DNA. I love that it's a kiwi. That's quite other. Let's get down to it. Yeah. Is there a plesiosaur? No.

That's our guy that did the E-DNA. What's his name? Professor... Let's get down to it. Yeah. Is there a pleasial seal? No. No. That's our guy that did the EDNA. What's his name? Professor... Oh, is that Neil Gammell? Neil Gammell. Yeah.

Neil Gammell. Yes. What a dude. Yeah. Let's get down to it. Let's get down to it. No. It's like the same answer you got from the taxi driver when you asked whether you could

go and meet the father and the son who were involved in the kayak. He actually had a Kiwi accent. It might have been Neil Gemmell in there. Let's get down to it, Mr. Buttons. Did he swallow the kayaker? No. Wow, that's very cool. Can I throw in a quick new segment? Yeah. It won't take long, but this segment, you will need a theme tune obviously for it. Okay.

It's hearing something that sounds like something that you meant to ask one of the others, but is not relevant to the show. Oh, shit. Okay, here we go. ["Hearing Something That Sounds Like Something"] Hey, hey, hey. ["Hearing Something That Sounds Like Something That You Were Gonna Say But You Didn't Know When to say it because it was nothing to do with the show Very good. We were talking about Chee Kelly and her alternative personality

Key Shelley and when I heard the word key It suddenly reminded me of one of my favorite childhood actors key way Kwan Yes, who was short-round in Indiana Jones. And I can't believe I haven't asked Reece about this. You've met him. You've worked on a movie with him as of recent times. I have indeed. I'm sorry, we can't be pseudo explorers on the show

and not talk about one of the greatest adventure movies of all time. What was it like to meet short-round? Well, just before you answer that, can I just point out quickly? Do you want to sing for this, mate? There's a friend of yours that's also met that really cool guy that you know as a friend. Coattails is back. There we go, the Coattails! There are two Cryptid Factor hosts, and I'll give you a hint, one of them's not Dan and

the other one is not CF4, who have met Short Round, who have met Key. Who are they? Who could they be? How do you know CF4 hasn't met Key? Oh, that's a good point. So you both met Short Round? Yeah. Yeah, this is the best thing about being a coattail rider. You get to do everything that that guy does.

It's amazing. Just to a slightly lesser extent. You do a much lesser extent. All right, come on. Just give us the basics. What happened? It was amazing working with him. He's a lovely guy.

Yeah, it was an honor. I was a massive fan, like you are, of short round and data from Goonies. Yeah. And his Oscar-winning performance and everything everywhere all at once. So yeah, I'm a small part in this action movie that he starred in called Love Hurts. And yeah, we did the premiere, we had a few drinks, we had a good laugh. He was always very happy with me on set because I brought

something different that wasn't really involved in the film. So you were in scenes with him? Yeah, my scenes were with him. Wow. I was beaten up beyond recognition in my role, without giving too much away, missing teeth even. But I still managed to get out a few lines. It was just really cool.

And he's a cool guy. It's a brilliant movie. It's a really good movie. And Buttons, how did you ruin the whole hangout? Well, as it turns out, because Reese was so wonderful and came all the way to Salt Lake City in Utah for the Sundance Festival to support, Michelle, my wife and I, for our premiere of our documentary Prime Minister. That's right. Right after that was the premiere for Reese's film

with Short Round with Key in it. And he invited Michelle and I to come and to watch the premiere with him and Rosie. It was a huge event. And of course, one of the most amazing moments was when Key hopped out of his car and came out, Sean Astin. What? Who of course. Was theston what of course is the other goony? Oh, yeah And so to see Sean Aston standing there and then for key to come up and give him a massive hug

Oh, they're clearly best of buddies still after all this time And that's obviously evident in the fact that Sean plays a really awesome role, a really beautiful couple of moments in the film between Sean and Key and that clearly indicates the close relationship they still have and then for them to be hugging and be really excited to see each other but then for them both to be super excited to see Reese and for Key to come up and be like Reese and give him a big hug and everything. Wow. There was a lot of love. A lot of celebrity love.

And did Key, when he hopped out of that car, did he say, you're not going to believe what my taxi driver just told me? Fuzz. Turns out they allow fruit into the vegetable orchestra. It's insane. It's a fraud. It's a scam. That whole thing. It's insane. It's it's a fraud. It's a scam Very good. Oh, I can't wait to see it And thank you for joining us on things that sound like other things that we were talking about They're absolutely not relevant to the episode. All right That's the end of my second That's the end of my segment. Sorry, it's the end of my segment. No, but, no, dammit! He takes over everyone's segments and like just when it starts to get exciting,

it just goes on and on and you forget what life actually is. And then you've got to go, oh, what time is it? And then Helena has to sit there and try and edit it all to something that makes sense. Yeah. So what's your postscript? What was your final bit? Oh, this won't make the edit. I'm trying to say that so it does make the edit. Reese actually let me borrow his Thoughtwave length again. Thanks, Reese.

And yeah, no, he doesn't want it in the edit. So moving on. All right. Now with all the editing that's going to go on on that bit, most of it will be gone. So let's just move quickly straight into the next cryptid news that we have. Yep. There's a new bill which has been proposed to make Bigfoot California's official state cryptid. Yeah. Where did the Patterson Gimlin happen? Well, that was in bluff Creek. Where is that? Is that still technically in California? I'm going to ignore that you asked that question. I'm going to play this video, okay?

Do you know what? Remember that fact about Peter Mayhew when he was playing Chewbacca in the filming of Star Wars Return of the Jedi and they had to have people in high vis jackets around him? That was in Californian forests forests That's why I was thinking that because they were worried Chewbacca would be shot by Bigfoot So actually they should make Wookiees the official Well, but it's their official cryptid this is the thing like Bigfoot could become the official Cryptid of California does that mean every state needs an official cryptid or are they creating a category? Are they the first state to have an official cryptid is the question? No, because you can have like an official cheese, but the state has to recognize it, right?

Yeah, but it doesn't mean all the states have to reciprocate. Oh, no. No, but is this the first? Oh, it's a first date to actually say we have an official cryptid, what other states? I'm going to try and find out. Yeah, okay, listen to this. Tonight's Factor Fiction is brought to you by America's Finest Garpet. California's official animal is the grizzly bear, our state flower, of course, the poppy, and our state tree is the redwood. And now there's a rumor that they are trying to add Bigfoot into the mix and this is true. A bill introduced last week by Santa Rosa Assemblyman Chris Rogers would make Bigfoot the state's official mythical creature otherwise known as a cryptid. Over the years Bigfoot or Sasquatch has allegedly been spotted roaming rural communities in

Northern California. In fact, the iconic 1967 film allegedly capturing a Bigfoot was shot in Del Norte County. That's in the far northwest corner of California. There you go. My question to them would be, why did you put cryptid and mythological in the same sentence? They're very different things Illogical creatures are not cryptid creatures. It's just not enough thought going into these little news articles But you got some facts there. Yeah a bill has been passed or is it gonna be passed anyway?

It sounds like the other considering it my question is what is the greatest carpet? They had an advert right at the top and they just said it's the greatest carpet and didn't mention who makes the carpet. Is that the official carpet of California? Well, it actually works in with the Bigfoot thing because it's Wookiee Carpets. Oh, are you kidding me? I am, but wouldn't that be great? It would be great, you're not wrong. I have found here a list that says the United States of Cryptid.

I think it's just a poster and somebody's gone through and just put a cryptid for each state. The one for California they've put is the Deep Star 4000 fish. What is that? I've never heard of that cryptid. No. But it's fascinating. That's actually quite a cool list because in Delaware they've got the Phantom Kangaroo. In Vermont they've got a Devil Monkey.

In Kansas they've got Sinkhole Sam. I've never heard of that one. Wow. Ohio, the Crosswick Monster. Oklahoma, the Wichita Flying Sn snakes, Pennsylvania, the Thunderbird. And you know, I read through this list and whether it's official or not, it just makes me want to go to America and try and find out about all of these cryptids. Just the names. It's like Virginia Island is a long neck sea serpent, you know. Washington has Bigfoot and West Virginia has the Big Hoot.

Oh, that'll be an owl. Yeah. Hey, the Deep Star 4000 fish. Yeah. It's a cryptid giant deep sea fish seen once off Southern California, just once in the Pacific Ocean by the crew of the Deep Star 4000. So that's the boat. Oh, we talked about this! We did! We did! We talked about this a long time ago. Did we? Yeah. It's a submersible. It was during a 1966 dive. It was estimated to have measured 25 to 40 feet in length, equal to some of the largest knowing

living fish and far larger than any known bony fish. So that's a giant fish that was seen once. It's cool. The prominent investigators were Matt Bile and Gardner Sol. And Sol is a fish. Oh my god. Here we go again. Yeah, this is what's happened. He would have been made into a human by a genetically engineered

lab and took a soul fish and then turned him into a researcher. This report was also written by Finn Flounder. Oh, see. What they've done is they've taken a flounder and genetically engineered him into a journalist. See, that's what happens. That's what they've done. And on that note, I think we should probably finish up, guys. Yeah, well, actually, I've just had a look at my calendar,

and I'm actually, I've got a booking at Neil's place to go and practice my kneeling. Oh, shit. So, yeah. Well, whatever you do, don't get a taxi there, will you? Ha ha ha ha ha! I don't want you getting some more information that might be true.

Hey, maybe next week we can record one whilst I'm in Japan. Yes. In the back of a taxi. In the taxi, definitely, yes. And every story that we do, I'll get Google Translate to translate it to Japanese and ask the taxi driver if it's real Dobbs aren't you on this side of the planet soon? Haven't we got like months of Derby in the UK coming up?

Yeah, that's not till June. Hmm But my tour starts very soon in New Zealand in March. Yay! So I'm heading off in a couple of weeks, so please get your tickets. I've got the best show I've ever done in the last decade. I'm really, really proud of this thing. It's really me coming back with full fury and a vengeance. Any laughs?

Not a single laugh. It's just me completely insane on stage being very angry. Pure fury. Right. Pure fury. No, it's definitely the best show I think I've done in a long time. Cool. Mainly because it's the only show I've done in a long time. So it's new material. and it's really prevalent. It's about us living in this AI world and what are we going to do about it?

What am I going to do about it? Well, you got to have to add in the dead internet theory into that routine now as well, aren't you? I don't want to get too bogged down with shit like that. But you never know. I can't even remember what that theory is about. Well, do you know what? The way that this person described the dead internet theory, which I really love, which is, I guess, our sort of language, is that you turn up to a party

and there's a whole bunch of people there having a great time. And one of them's a cardboard cutout. And you go, well and there's a whole bunch of people there having a great time and one of them's a cardboard cutout and you go, well that's a bit weird, and then you come back to the party next week and then there's four or five cardboard cutouts replacing real humans and after a while then you turn up to the party and 95% of the party is cardboard cutouts and there's just a few little people mingling around the outside. At what point in that is it no longer a party? And that's the dead internet theory. Once you hit that tipping point of too many cardboard cutouts at a party and you can't call it a party anymore, well you can't call it the internet. That's a great analogy. And the way to avoid that

is have parties like me that only have three or four people at it. And then that's way easier to you get to that tipping point faster because then next week you come along and all three are cardboard cutouts and you go, it's no longer a party. That's the cryptid factor. That's what we are. You know, basically we don't want to get too popular because our fans are real. They genuine, they love it and we love them too. And so, yeah.

It's all real. It's you, me, Leon, and CF4. Just pure human. This episode is our first cardboard cutout, CF4. It's the first very, very... At what point is it no longer a podcast? There's too many... Never trust a robot with a human voice

Very good, C F 4 Professor C Forking I'm gonna get his voice fixed for the next one Because he's sounding a little bit too like Hawking there, isn't he? And on that note And on that note What was it? I was gonna say Au revoir, but it was Mwah

Mwah MWAH What did it stand for? What was it? Make, make, make Harry, make Harry Mice Make Mice Willie again Make Mice Willie again There's a t-shirt waiting to happen guys Make Mice Willie again

MWAH Okay bye Mice Make Miles Willie again. Mwah! Okay, yeah! Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!

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