The Cryptid Factor - #106 The P.S.A Issue

Episode Date: March 31, 2025

THIS IS A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT:Please take note of the following warnings before proceeding into this issue.TRIPPING HAZARD! Legendary 'Kappa' Hunter's flustered, loosey-goosey balls are rolling around freely in the streets of Japan.BEWARE of Schreiber's Animal Husbandry! In light of animals now being able to talk to humans, please refrain from placing any hands on Dan's new LITERAL chick.And REMINDER to check your call sheet number on today's episode of The Darby Truman Show (proudly brought to you by Name Brand cereal).Also, in this disturbed issue, we have: murderous colleagues stranded in Antarctica, very quiet sounds in a Sasquatch hotspot (audiobook available now... please!), freshly generated footage of the morally questionable Mexican 'Chaneques' goblins, and a new three-day Bigfoot festival in Oregon—which hasn't even happened yet! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Here's a show that we recommend. Have you ever cheated on anyone? Have you ever teabagged your roommate's possessions out of revenge? Here's a show that we recommend. like this one. My sister-in-law is the side chick to a church deacon. She found out she is pregnant. And sometimes we turn them into song. So join us every Monday on the Sonar Network. Or wherever you listen to podcasts. And let's see what spicy things people get up to. See you there. Acast helps creators launch, grow,

and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com. The Cryptid Factor with Rhys Darby, Dan Schreiber and Buttons. As the world starts to fall and everything goes south, it's the wonders of truth we seek from any mouth. Imagine the surprise to hear the haunting call. Oh! The three jesters of geekdom are back on the cryptid ball. It is you who will lead the way, said the wicked witch of the west. Say your famous phrase. Your stories are the best.

We are back! phrase. Your stories are the best. What happened there, but. What do you mean? I was I was good. I didn't. We are back. I heard you trying to say something else and then back it out. But then that was it. Oh, yes, I was. I was going to be clever. And then I decided not to be clever. It's something I do every now and then,

is I just make a last minute decision to not be clever. Oh, thank you. And I catch myself out sometimes. Yeah, because you thought, oh, hang on, I'm going to out clever them here. I better pull back a little bit. Yeah, that's it. You guys know me too well.

You're like in football, like the penalty kick, you just at the last second, decide to do something weird and it just goes into the crowd. And it works, right? And it works. You know, but sometimes it makes for way better entertainment. Sure. The team doesn't win on the day, but they all go home going, did you see that ridiculous, stupid thing he did at the last minute? And they're entertained. You don't win a game, but you're entertained, aren't you? That's true. It's a shame there's not a league table where most entertaining team is...

You can see actual best team, but also most entertaining on the other side. You can see actual best team, but also most entertaining on the other side. Yeah. You're actually onto something there, Dan. I think we are the Harlem Globetrotters of the cryptid world. Oh, yes. That's exactly how we might not always be accurate. We might not always win the day with our truths, but we're certainly the most entertaining.

They need that in the podcast awards so that we can actually win a category. That would be a good category to win, most entertaining, right? I think that is an actual category. Yeah, that's pretty much what we're going for. But the other one is, this is one category they could do, the most misinformation. Oh.

Or the best disinformation. And that wouldn that us? That wouldn't be us. Our stuff's too truthful. No, I think it's good to say. You'd think that would be a category. Okay, well without further ado, where are we all? Buttons, I believe you're somewhere exotic. I'm in exotic land. I'm in an exotic place. I'm in Tokyo. Wow. I came over just to qualify a story. This is my thing now. I can't remember the one that I was qualifying that I came over for, but I'm having a lovely time. So you must have so many exciting things to tell us about the Japanese cryptid world. I did get to do an amazing cryptid thing if you remember guys we featured a cryptid on our hundredth episode our live in London episode where Reese had to draw

A cryptid as Dan described it and it was the mighty cuppa Which is the aquatic creature that exists over here Is that the one that has a bowl on its head that has a little bit of water in? Yeah. Yeah. And if you get it to bow, because it's so polite, then the water comes out and it has to race back to the water. Otherwise, it will die. Wow. Kappa. Yeah. Well, no, I was calling it a Kappa too, Reese. And then I was told very sternly that it's Kappa. And the most amazing thing that I really got out

of researching the kapa over here is that everybody knows about it here. Every Japanese person that I talk to knows the folklore, grew up with signs next to rivers saying, kids don't play in the river, otherwise the kapa will get you. Without question, every single person that I asked about here were like, oh, yes, don't mess with the cuppa. So they still believe in it.

Yeah. That's great. As well. I don't know if they believe in it. By the way, this might be handy for other listeners, but if I try to remember pronunciations of things, I often try and associate it with a different word. So just for anyone else who'll find this helpful it's not cappuccino it is cuppa tea just putting that out there that is how I remember that from now on. Cuppa tea. So the cuppa. Just a useful handy pronunciation hints from Dan. How I remember things and you know I always keep that to myself

it's time I start sharing. That's a nice reveal. Yeah. Yeah So did you actually go hunting or did you just well? Yes and no I went to a shrine There is a shrine for the cuppa Where you take offerings to it and it turns out the end This was from our drawing if you remember Dan one of the things you told Rhys to draw for this cryptid was a cucumber, because it likes pickled cucumbers, and Rhys drew a cucumber in the hand of this cryptid. Which unfortunately looked more like a massive

marijuana cigarette. It looked in fact exactly like it. I thought you were gonna say something else then, but okay. That's good. That's better. That is better. Yeah. It also looks a bit like that, but I gave an offering of cucumbers,

a little stand at the front of the temple where you can leave your cucumbers as an offering. And so I went and did that. And I did a little ceremony where you bow twice, clap twice and then bow another time and say a prayer. They're big on their ceremonies, aren't they? Yeah, and I've got to say that we were outside the temple and somebody came out from inside the temple and sort of gave us a quick guided tour.

It wasn't much of a guided tour because he couldn't speak a word of English and I don't speak a word of Japanese I keep accidentally saying origami instead of origato. Jesus. So that's become a thing unfortunately. But he came and took us up to the part of the temple where they actually have an arm from... Oh yeah, I saw your photo. From the cuppa? From the cuppa, yeah. That looked quite small what you were showing. Yeah, there was just like the forearm, it's only the first part of the arm, and it's about

Yelong and a little box. Say we are audio. Oh, Yelong. Good point. Oh, Yelong. Oh, Yelong. Oh, yay long. Oh, yay long. Okay. Oh, that's pretty small, isn't it? That's a question. Depends how big the party is, whether it's a big yay or not, or whether, you know, who's arriving. If it's just you at the airport, it's, oh, yay, just a small one. But if it's me, it's not. Yay!

Yay! Yay is the length of Kanye West laying down. That's the distance, right? One yay's word. Isn't he ye? Is he? Yeah, he's not yay. Well, it's Kanye.

Why would he suddenly be ye? Oh, no, I think, no, he calls himself ye. Oh, wow. Anyway, we're driving too deep in bullshit we don't care about. So is it about Yalon? Did you feel it was real? Well it was definitely real, it was definitely bones of something. It may have been a raccoon's arm or something, it may not have been.

I don't think they've had it DNA tested or anything. It's funny because when I was there, and if you actually did watch the four part series that I made, I attended one of the temple situations as well, which had creatures in cabinets. You know, I think there was a mermaid and a couple of other things. And I just wonder how many temples have got like artifacts of mythical creatures to lure the the public in, particularly the

westerners. Maybe they just want cucumbers. I mean, what do they, are they big on eating cucumbers? Yeah they are. It's all coming together now isn't it? It is, yeah it's all a ploy. Cucumbers to Julie, my left two cucumbers. Most important question, their merch shop. No. What? No. And you know what? In Kyoto, where we were beforehand, they are big. You would have seen this race on their coin operated dispensers of little toys. You know, you put in a few dollars,

love those little toys. You get a random little toy. And randomly, and this is what got me onto the cuppa, is they had a dispenser there for cryptids. And one of them was the cuppa, and I went back three or four times. I had to keep going away and getting more money, and I came back each day. And it wasn't there when you got back,

and now no one believes you that it ever existed. Exactly. At one point, I was getting really frustrated. And all these balls were coming out, but not the cuppa. What pants were you wearing? I wasn't wearing any. You're a bit wavy, Lucy Gooses, when you get lusted. You know how you get.

I was getting very, I was down on the ground and I was getting very flustered. Not your togs without the inner undies. Come on, don't wear those when you're out getting flustered. I was, I was, I was getting very flustered and a small crowd gathered around the vending machine as I was putting. And there was a little, a little kid came up and he tried, I put them in and tried to get him to, everybody was like chanting for me to get the cuppa. And like, seriously, there was like a group of people.

Oh, they chanting. Origami, origami, origami. It was, and then I ran out of money and people were coming up and they were had their coins out because you need the little hundred yen coins and they were your balls out I had my balls out no wonder they were throwing coins at you. That is a big bull. Anyway, I ran out of money. Very frustrated. And then a German couple waltzes up.

They were watching. They come up, they put their coins in, turn the handle and what comes out. Oh, no. A bloody cuppa. Straight away. Straight away. And everybody was like, oh, are you going to give it to him? And they're like, no, we want it. And they walked away.

They took that cuppa. Everybody was a bit dismayed. This one here, this is a mythical creature over here. I forget her name, but I- Just for the listeners, he's opening one of the little ball gifts that you get from the dispenser in Japan. There's a little toy inside. I forget the name of this one, but this one here is a woman with a really long neck. Look at this. That's her body's her body. And then that. Oh wow.

Look at that. Yes. And then her head or his head. Maybe it's I thought it was a woman but maybe it's man who knows. It's kind of imagine for the listener imagine a snail with its head outside of its shell. So imagine where that head would be in a position but then picture the shell being wrapped around like a snake like a python It's all neck until the bodies of the top that looks so cool Well, I ended up with about 12 of these because to get the cuppa I had to just keep going These things kept popping out and I was very frustrated. They kept popping out But then eventually on the last day with the last few coins

that literally were about to leave. Oh he's opening the big one now, here we go. Here he is. Just getting it out of the packet and there it is. Tada! The little cuppa! Look at that, it's so cool. So cute. Yeah I love him. He's great.

He's got a turtle shell on his back and he's kind of got a almost like a beak and then he's got the hat Which is a bowl. He's very sort of Kermit the Frog looking, isn't he, as well? Yeah, it does look like a rejected Ninja Turtle design slightly Don't tell the Japanese that, that's one of their favorites! You won't be welcome there. Yeah, that's me done Yeah, yeah that that's one of their favorites you won't be welcome there yeah that's me done yeah yeah unless i bring pictures of buttons as balls with me just hand that to the immigration yeah oh you know him come in okay that's very exciting but we do have to keep the balls rolling because we like what i did there uh we're on a limited time today so let's

launch into everyone's favorite segment it's Weekly World Weird News. Crazy, freaky watch out. You've waited long enough little monsters. Lady Gaga presents the Mayhem Ball. Live across North America. Get tickets Thursday April 3rd at LiveNation.com. Acast powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Have you ever cheated on anyone? Have you ever teabagged your roommate's possessions out of Right. The side chick to a church deacon, she found out she is pregnant. And sometimes we turn them into song. So join us every Monday on the Sonar Network. Or wherever you listen to podcasts. And let's see what spicy things people get up to. See you there.

Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com. OK, what do we have? Headlines. I have a headline here, which is that man in China has been living a real life Truman show and like Truman has had no idea it's been going on. Oh my God. That's freaky.

24 seven access to his life and had no idea he was being streamed to the world. I've got remote Antarctic base in trouble as a disturbed colleague, frightens the death out of people. He frightens the death out of people. I may have made that up a little bit. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Oh, he was dying.

There's a crisis in the Antarctic. That's all I wanna say. Right, okay. But what a way to bring people back to life though, like the dying and the like, boom, whoosh, you've frightened the death out of me. Wow, it's cute. I was happily dying here.

OK, I was on my last legs. I just drifted and you scared the hell out of me and brought me back. We don't know what kind of frightened it is. It might be someone going, they've they've upped your mortgage by half the amount that you pay. It could be just like really scary detail of life. Yeah. What do you got, buttons? OK, well, I've got two things.

One's a public service announcement around the AI developments. But the other news I've got is that an XTIA agent claims it was life on Mars, and he has the proof to prove it. Wow. OK, you could have just gone with the second one, and that would have just been almost a headline as well, instead of rambling about your options. Your story, Dan.

Uh, okay. Yeah, let's go with mine first. So there's a guy in China who many years ago got into a fight defending his friend and unfortunately sustained a few injuries, which left him with sort of a few intellectual disabilities and he's been living in this village in China, rural China in Kangzhou and basically they have been live streaming the local villagers his life and have turned him into an influencer locally in China and he's had absolutely zero idea about it. So I'll read from the article out here, which is from the South China Morning Post,

Hong Kong newspaper. Feng, which is his name, he's 62 years old, known as Brother Min. His vocal cords and cognitive abilities were damaged in his youth when he suffered injuries while defending his friends. He lives alone in a small decayed house after both his parents had passed and he largely survives by scavenging, though he does get sort of small amounts of money from the government from time to time. But in 2022, a film that was made by a fellow villager called Erthung showed him scavenging for cabbages at night in the local field and it went viral online on social media from him doing it. As a result, they started filming him more. So it racked up over a million likes this video and he became quite famous immediately as an internet meme. And because he's not sort of aware of what's going on because of these disabilities, people could come up to him quite brazenly with a camera and film him and that's what they've been doing so they've been using sort of scare tactics on him to get a

reaction out of him so they'll pretend to be like a police officer or they'll pretend to be someone who's you know just multiple different characters they've been filming him and generating money but apparently they say the money has been going back to him so it's actually been sort of subtly helping him. And now that this is out there this huge outcry for the fact that they're taking advantage of him and so it's kind of gone silent and it's dead but basically. This is like our great fear right that we're all in the Truman show and god damn it you can actually achieve it if you pick the right person and they did here So they made it a reality So was it live streamed a lot of it a lot of it was live streamed I guess like a Instagram live kind of thing

They said that the videos were racking up over 700 million views in total. It was quite popular at the time so yeah, it's just a case of someone unknowingly being turned into the Truman show and So yeah, it's just a case of someone unknowingly being turned into the Truman show and And still not quite probably realizing it but yeah Story a weird cautionary tale quite sad taking advantage of someone like that and I can see why it's stopped I mean, I was glad you said some of the money went to him But that's what they say but who knows right like I. Maybe that's them realizing how unbelievably terrible they've been. I can only imagine how many people are being taken advantage of by being filmed. Ever since these smartphones came in and then now every single thing is filmed and people

are just constantly filming every day. I mean, there's positives to it because if anything goes down, people film it and so people are scared to do stuff, which is great. But the other side of that is taking advantage of people and filming them without them being aware Yeah, it's a scary world we live in but you know, I mean cuz okay You're in the different category here, which is as celebrity You know You must get home at some points open up your phone and see a video of yourself

From earlier that day that you had no idea someone was filming of you in a shop or something, right? I mean, maybe you don't get that as much, but that is a constant thing that we see through the kind of world of TMZ and so on. Celebrities are slightly living in a Truman-esque situation. Well, the thing is, is that you're free to film anywhere and from a celebrity point of view, you know, it's hurtful, especially if they're secretly filming you. God, it's happened probably since the beginning of time with people of notoriety, people sort of like sketching them from a distance without them realizing. Yeah. Chipping into some stone.

Yeah. And then the guy comes home and there's cave paintings of what you did earlier in the day. Yeah. Well, how did you know I was shooting that buffalo? How dare you? I was out hunting and you've drawn me. I didn't ask for you to do that. You've been not be selling this cave with those paintings in it.

Wallpaper of you. That's not really neat. Cave for sale. Cave for sale with one of our top hunters painted on the inside. Cave for sale. Hi for sale with one of our top hunters painted on the inside! Cave for sale! Oh yeah? Who's the hunter? Oh, it's uh, it's, it's Reese.

Oh, he's a good one! Good looking, good, oh look at his biceps! Yeah, you want the cave? Oh yes please. How much do you want? Two rocks. And a large branch. Two rocks and a large branch. Two rocks and a large branch? You haven't a lot! Alright, just what have you got on you? I've got a bit of seaweed and half a coconut.

Half a coconut? Where did you get them from? Yum! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! It's only the shell of a coconut's feet eaten. It's all yours. Excuse me? Is that me in there, is that? Oh God, there he is. Oh my God, he's just as big as in the picture. Look at those arms. Is that me in there? I didn't ask for you to do that! No, it's a free world, mate!

Right, well I've got two rocks here! Oh, it's yours! Hang on, we had a deal! No! This is a genuine syndrome, isn't it, where people believe they are in their own Truman Show? Yeah, it's a genuine term where people are treated for the paranoia of thinking their life is being filmed at every second.

And it's the only one I can think of is the other thing as you're saying that was that kind of main character energy, you know, we you come across these people that have main character energy and you see you hear that a lot lot and you see it in videos or you see it yourself when you're in a restaurant, people that are clearly more confident than others and they think they're living their own story, you know, this is, he's got main character energy, look at that guy, you know. Hang on and we just, both those two statements, if you would apply them to you Reese, hang on, are you, you, first of all, main character energy and maybe we are all just part of your Truman Show? Maybe this is all your whole existence?

To me you are. To me you are, yeah. You're like number six and seven on the call sheet. On the Reese Darby Truman Show call sheet. On the Rees-Darby Truman Show, cool sheep. Yeah, just on the Rees-Darby Show. Each morning you wake up, you go, okay, where's the cool sheep for the show, the Rees-Darby Truman Show? I don't need to look at the cool sheep. I know, I'm number one.

It's real life, Rees, it's real life. No, I know you're filming this. What are my lines today? I know, I know there's cameras everywhere. Where's the cool sheep? We've got breakfast first. So you can try your breakfasts. It's up to you.

You can ad lib what you want about your breakfast. Okay. Oh, this isn't good. No, cut. I'm not having that. I was there all morning making that. Oh, okay. Oh, this is very nice.

That's good. We'll go with that. Hey, Kellan's a nice. That's good, we'll go with that. Pellings are sponsoring today's episode. You can't say it's no good. Do that one again, thank you. Same bloody breakfast I have every morning. Yes, but you enjoy it. That's why you keep buying it, okay? And from the top. Oh, I love having this. This is the way I love to wake up every morning. That's good. So dabs to be directing his own mentally unknown show. Let's do some bloopers now. Let's get some bloopers. Get to the table.

I've got breakfast all over me. Crying out loud. Okay, that'll be good. We'll put that over the credits. Oh, it's so good. Yeah, the Truman Show syndrome. It's very real. Yeah, our friend Dean recently knew somebody

with it in New Zealand. Oh yeah? Oh, it's my friend too. Just want to say it's my friend too. Just a bit weird I wasn't aware of that. Or have you heard something? I think he's about seven on your call sheet though, Dan. He's higher up on ours. Oh okay, that's fair. That's fair. Okay, continue. I love the idea of like it starting off with cave paintings of Reese and then it moves to wallpaper of Reese and then it's like all just different wall coverings for houses, curtains with Reese on it

as we go through the ages of... As long as I go through those ages and just end up buying all of it myself and buying the houses and so I'm just living in a place full of pictures of me. Okay, so Reece, what's your story? Mine's quite disturbing. It's just in Antarctica, you know, something's gone down and basically they're so remote there and this has never really happened before. Someone needs help. There's a disturbed colleague in the Antarctic situation. An email was sent from the base which describes a threat from within and a staff member who was actually threatening to kill another staff member. And this is like,

you know, on one of those Antarctic bases, the remote Senei-4 Antarctic research facility. They're situated 100 miles south of Antarctica's ice shelf and the facility, which is manned by a 10-man South African research team, it's very, very remote. To make matters worse, the Antarctic winter is about to close in and the current team is stationed there and not due to be rotated until December. So they're trying to get someone in now to remove this person. It kind of reminds me of The Thing, you know that horror movie where something goes down and they're so remote and then there's this creature

that ends up creating havoc and killing the rest of them. So it's interesting that this news has come up that you know there's been a bit of a physical assault but you'd imagine you know these kind of things must go down in any kind of remote situation. You've watched these movies, whether it be a researchers or explorers or soldiers out in the field and arguments are bound to happen at some point. If you're stuck in a room or stuck with the same people for a long time, you know, you get on each other's nerves. They're hand picked. You know, you're not mates. You're just like, you're working with this person. Okay, great. Well, he annoys me. And we haven't even left the airfield yet.

You're living in a place where you're going to go a bit crazy in the isolation. And that's right. Yeah. I don't know if we mentioned on this show a long time ago, but there was that story that I think was in either that base or maybe on the other side of the planet where a explorer stabbed another explorer at one of these bases because they revealed the ending of a book that that person was reading. Oh, yeah. Like that's the level that it gets to. And I know that with the space missions to the moon there was protocol for what would happen if one of the astronauts just suddenly lost the plot and wanted to kill it and sabotage it and you had to gaffer tape them.

You know up and you had to give them certain sedatives and so on because people go crazy in these I make it makes total sense are Are they sending someone in, did you say, to get them out or? Well, they say it is imperative that immediate action is taken to ensure the safety of all the employees, you know, because when you get that sort of threatening situation going on, the South Africans are doing a full investigation. And yeah, I think the problem is you have to detain someone before, you know, help arrives. So that could be in that mode right now. And the fact that it's now sort of global headlines is even worse for the guy.

Hopefully he's either very much apologizing or maybe he's done a runner. I don't know, but hopefully they get this sorted. An argument in the Antarctic, basically. I could have just said that was all about. Not far you can do a runner on No, the runner Yeah, you're not coming in okay, you're not coming in that's it I'm sorry I'm sorry. No, I can't hear you.

We're still sorting it. We're still sorting it. But good news, it's made a very good headline in The Guardian. I'm in The Guardian. Really? Yep. Yep. And it's actually turned up on the Cryptid Factor.

Oh my god. My god. My favorite radio show. Help, help. Yep, stay up here. Can you make sure they add in that I've got main character energy? I've got very good main character energy. That's what's meant to me.

Too much main character energy. Told you, you're number 10 on the call sheet. I'm number one. No you're're not i can see the cameras i know the cameras are everywhere filming me right now all right let's move on to your story how come this wallpaper's got pictures of me all over it on the tactic base what's going on there he goes that could be over the credits that last bit wow i made the credits i made the credits guys my blooper

what yeah reese the credits of the cryptic factor or of your main restar be yeah yeah you're gonna have to define of the show of this guy who's been left out. Who's on Violent. Oh, that guy. Oh, God, there's three shows now within this one show. We're going to have to... Hey, it's a classic show within a show within a show. Oh, yeah. Inception. Podcast inception.

OK, well, my public service announcement. Are we on to that now, are we? Yeah. Hang on. Let me just get ready for that. Ready? Public service announcement. Repeat. Public service announcement. Repeat. Public service announcement. Public service announcement. Yay! Public service announcement time. I think it's ye., not yay. Just yay!

Okay, well, a public service announcement is to just send a message out to everybody who enjoys eating meat to start enjoying your last few meals of meat. Oh. Because I have a prediction that most of the world is going to be turning vegetarian very shortly. Okay. And this is basically the fulfillment of one of my theories that AI is going to be able to make it possible for us to talk to animals and that point that we start talking to animals is going to be the point that everybody is going to stop eating meat,

because as soon as you know that a cow has feelings, you're going to be sat at a restaurant with a plate full of meat that you know had something similar to human emotions. And so the public service announcement is that there is an AI research lab that has just been given a vast amount of funding to develop an AI model to be able to communicate with other species. They're using obviously large language models and applying that to hours and hours and hours of animal communication, along with video footage of the animals and what they're doing as they're making their various sounds and communication. And they're making huge big leaps at the moment.

There's a couple of projects, the Earth Species Project and Project SETI, which is a translation initiative. Both of these projects have just received a vast amount of funding and are well on their way to being able to communicate with other species. They haven't detailed exactly which species they're starting to communicate with, but it's been told that they have already started to decode.

Public service announcement. Public service announcement. If you have drifted off in the last two minutes, please reawaken. Please reawaken. Guys, this is a very important prediction. People are on the edge of their seats eating their last ham sandwich. They're enjoying their last ham sandwich. I genuinely started checking eBay as you were chatting this. It wasn't until I re-smoked.

What, were you looking up ham sandwiches on eBay? No, you just go down to the local shop and buy your last meat sandwich. Come on. What is the animal they're going to communicate to first? Is it the dolphin? Dolphins. Yeah, classic. I mean, they're going to have to go via brain systems.

They're going to take the longest, aren't they, to actually get to the chicken. This is my argument. Like if you're telling me that we're going to find out the chickens are actually going to be saying stuff to us, that's a long way down the track, because they've got to be up there with the thickest. Well, do you know one of the ones that they are working on right now along with dolphins, there is a dolphin communication project, but crows, crow vocalizations because crows are incredibly smart. Yeah, I mean that's exciting. I love this use of AI. There's some parts of AI that I really think are obviously fantastically amazing.

And that's all the science stuff. And this fits into that category. Anything with medical, with advancing our health and looking after the planet. You know, and this fits into that category. Communicating with animals would be amazing if we figured that out with the AI within the next year or so we're hearing the cows go, please don't eat me. Or whatever. It will change the world.

Well, it's going to change in more ways than one because the cows not just going to say, please don't eat me. The cow will also go, what are you doing? And the humans going to go, oh, oh, and I feel like human-animal relationships will. I think that's a game changer. That's a very interesting name. Yeah, I think that's a game changer. That's a very interesting name.

Yeah, I think relationships will start happening. And I would argue that we should cut out the middleman here. The whole AI thing just legalized bestiality will stop eating animals. Wow. Didn't see that coming. The cow. Am I right? Well, those end ones will be in The Guardian tomorrow.

Dan Schreiber plugs for bestiality on his little known podcast. Public service announcement. Public service announcement. Be aware of Schreiber's animal husbandry. Be aware of Schreiber's animal husbandry. Who's your new literal chick? Well, she's a... A literal chick! Hot chick, mate.

Bokkay! What'd she say there, Dan? Ah, she's not interested in you, so don't get the ideas. Bokkay! We're alright, we'll be home in a minute, Dal. Bokkay! Bokkay! Bokkay! I know, I know. We're on our way. Bokkay! We'll be home in a minute, Dal. I know, I know. We're on our way.

Stop talking dirty. Wait till we get home, alright? Wait till we get home, Jesus. Oh my God, I did not expect we'd end up here with my public service announcement. I regret it now. I will say I do regret it. Interesting though, being here in Japan, just in one of the research projects, I think, I think it's a great opportunity to do a little bit of research.

I think it's a great opportunity to do a little bit of research. I think it's a great opportunity to do a little bit of research. I think it's a great opportunity to do a little bit of research. I think it's a great opportunity to do a little bit of research. I think it's a great opportunity to do a little bit of research. I think it's a great opportunity to do a little bit of research. I think it's a great opportunity to do a little bit of research. I think it's a great opportunity to do a little bit of research.

I think it's a great opportunity to do a little bit of research. I think it's a great opportunity to do a little bit of research. I think it's a great opportunity to do a little bit of research. I think it's a great opportunity to do a little bit of research. I regret it now. I also do regret it. Interesting though, being here in Japan, one of the research projects that they're doing is on sperm whales and communicating with whales. And of course, still in Japan, they have the terrible thing where they kill whales for research projects and what have you. But they won't need to do that anymore will they? Because they're just going to be able to ask the whales rather than doing a research project and say oh we're trying to figure out stuff about these whales and slaughtering them. Well the first thing the

sperm whales are going to say once we realise it is why did you call us that eh? Why did you call us sperm whales? Come on be honest. And then their cousin comes over. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. We're called humpback. I mean, what's happening there? Oh, I'm not calling me bottle nose. What the fuck? I'm just talking about it. Is that right?

You think it's because I've got a nose like a bottle, do you? Oh, then the hammerheads come along. Oh, yeah. Doesn't look like a hammer. They'd be like, oh, fair enough. Fair enough. Fair enough. Yeah.

That's bang on. Absolutely correct. You've done well there. Swordfish. He's happy. Yeah. Anyway. But Reece makes a really good point, which is what is the intelligence level of these animals that if we even did manage to chat to them, that they could perceive the idea of what's happening to them.

Yeah, I think Pixar got it right with those seagulls just going, yep, yep, what was it? Mine, mine, mine. Yeah, mate, that's right. No, no, mine. Mine, mine. Oh, is it? Oh, there's a bit of a debate out there that people think they're saying mate because they're from Australia.

Oh, mate, mate. Mate, mate, mate, mate. You think they're saying mine, do you? No, you might be right. You might be right. It is. The debate's over then. That is a past debate.

Wow. Must have been seven on the call sheet. Were you still the script this morning? I can't back out. He's gonna win that one. Very short debate. I'll have a go with him. Big character.

Number one's gonna come through. He's got the wallpaper in the background there. I'll just have to sit tight. Ha ha ha ha. Now it's lunch for you, Mr. Schreiber. Thank you. Did well there with that debate bit. Thank you.

Now the bestiality bit, if we could just have a chat about that. We won't need you next week actually. Yeah, now you haven't lived a lot of that bestiality bit. Yeah, well I was hoping to. Yeah, well you didn't do any improv classes earlier with Mr Darby did you? And I'm afraid you won't be needed next week. But he did the service announcement thing. Yeah, that was funny.

I mean, he's obviously still here. We've just changed your script for tomorrow. You actually die in tomorrow's episode. Sorry. Public service announcement. Public service announcement. New Crypto Factor host required. New Crypto Factor host required.

New Crypto Factor host required. What happened to that Dan guy? He bestiality'd himself out of existence. Master scene, master scene in Reese's show. Yeah, he's... Yeah. All right. We've got 15 minutes left before you got to go,

so I'm gonna skip my actual news about the XCIA agent that one can wait. It was just important I got that public service announcement out. No, that's good to know. We should also mention that we're sitting on a really important day, which is that after decades of speculating, we have been promised and have had the release of something pretty extraordinary, which is the trailer for Happy Gilmore 2, which The years we've been talking about its possibility and it dropped today and It looks great. So everyone do look out for its release later this year.

Now the JFK thing is meant to be out today, and so far nothing. Yeah, nothing. Yeah, this is going out probably a few weeks later, but Trump has promised that the unredacted 80,000 pages, which apparently, I was reading, most JFK historians and archivists are going But there aren't 80,000 pages. Where is this additional number coming from? So it's gonna be interesting to see what that actually means when it comes out But um, yeah, we might be sitting in a world where at this very moment We are the last humans who didn't know the truth of what happened like that's a possibility, right?

Yeah, you know it sounds like and this is worth anyone who wants to look into it, it sounds like that a lot of documents will be released with redacted names, and apparently if unredacted, if those names say certain things, then you can piece it together, but that's as far as it can go, because they burnt a lot of documents supposedly, so we might never actually probably know. One of the theories, of of course is that JFK found out the truth about the alien agenda and that's why he was taken out so I'm excited to see whether that theory comes through as the winner. And he was killed by the aliens it was a remarkable

I don't know about that bit. That's Mars attacks you're thinking Mars attacks. bit. That's Mars attacks. You're thinking Mars attacks. Oh, Mars attacks. The bullet did have that mysterious movement to it. It could be an extraterrestrial bullet. Yeah. But, you know, for 50 plus years people have been speculating and this might be the last group of people that are ever going to speculate or the documents will say nothing. I guess we'll know next episode. You know what's going to happen though. You can almost guarantee that they will release these files and then there'll be a whole bunch more people say, these files were faked. That's actually it was somebody else

and these are fake files that have been released and there's still gonna be specular. I don't think there's any way unless somebody came out and said, actually it was me and I've got some video evidence or some film of me actually doing it. Yeah.

But I would like to say, I would like to also put out there that I think... Hang on, I better do a public service announcement. Public service announcement. Buttons would like to say... I just want to say, I think it's a distraction. I think that talking about releasing these files and everything gets everybody writing all these sensational headlines.

And I actually think it's all probably if the files do come out or they probably won't, that it's a great way to actually get everybody in a frenzy and talking about something other than what they need to be talking about. And proof of that is on this show right now, this whole piece that Dan's brought up has distracted us all from going into the cryptid buzz news that we're supposed to do. It's big news.

Well, OK, but then it's worked. Well, there we go. Yeah, you go. It's just because it does get people talking and it does distract them. So you're right. It's done it to us. And I'm sick of it. I know but that's what happens Dan keeps reading the call sheet that's the thing about why I'm so great is that I don't read the call sheet I'm just off the cuff. You don't get one. I should read the call sheet. The extras don't get a call sheet you're just picked up in a van at very early in the morning

and you're dropped off and you just got to just be part of the scene in the morning. All right. And you dropped off and you just got to just be part of the scene in the background. Now, can we move on to the, to the cryptic buzz please. Oh look, just let me believe that she got a call sheet. I wake up in the morning and I get the same piece of paper with my scribbled handwriting. So, to clear you have a big scene.

Elena does one for you. She does like, too late, you have a big scene. She does a little mock one for you, okay? You can tell it's one of hers. She does little drawings on it. And that's what you look at. Now let's do the cryptid buzz. Yeah. Attention, all personnel.

It's time for this week's cryptid. Ah, help me! Okay, this came out in the Daily Mail recently. Camper Shears terrifying Bigfoot encounter miles away from Sasquatch sighting hotspot. Oh. Okay. That's interesting.

Let's go straight into that. This guy Troy Oliver Doty, he was solo camping. Okay, so that's, I mean, people can do that. You know, they go camping on your own, I guess. I mean, if you want to do that, the fireside stories won't be great. But sad camping. So he was camping in Oregon's rogue national forest. That's where you want to go.

Isn't it? Rogue national forest. If you want to encounter some trouble. It's actually infamous for Sasquatch sightings and he was awoken by a strange sound at 11 50 p.m. He said he heard something running less than a hundred yards behind his tent and initially he thought it was an elk. However, after listening to the creature cover vast amounts of land, he concluded that a man would have been unable to do so. This is written well.

I mean, originally he thought it was an elk and now all of a sudden he's thinking, well, hang on, that elk is definitely not a man. Sharing his encounter with Bigfoot hunters, he said, look, I've heard Elk running through the forest before, so I wasn't alarmed. Although he did wake up though, didn't he? We go back at 11.50 PM, he did wake up. He was slightly alarmed. I think there's a little bit.

Maybe his alarm clock went off, and that's why he was alarmed. Maybe he got a public service a... Public service announcement. Public service announcement. There is an elk running past. Or is it? Or is it? Or is it? I was actually camping with him but I wasn't actually on the call sheet so... He thought he was alone. But he had his own sound effects, Foley guy,

and I was there with my cup, my cuppa, cup of tea, not cappuccino by the way. There we go, see ya. See ya, alright, boom. He says, I did wonder what would cause the elk to run, oh okay, so it definitely was an elk, there's two different animals here guys. He said, I did wonder what would cause the elk

to run headlong through the forest at night. I thought possibly a predator, like a cougar. Then about two minutes later, from the same direction as the elk, he heard three distinct percussive sounds that sounded like wood on wood. Oh, classic. Yeah, the wood on wood scenario.

Wood knocking. This is something I've never heard of before so it caught my attention at this point I was listening closely he says roughly a minute later I heard three more identical knocks but they were farther away so obviously it's moving away after another minute passed and further off in the distance I heard another three knocks. The same pattern as the first and the second set. So the same pattern. Finally, about another minute later, I heard one more set of identical knocks

on the edge of my hearing. What a sentence. One is the book title. I love that. The edge of my hearing. That's brilliant. The story of a man who almost heard Bigfoot, please a bookshop near you. Enjoy the edge of my hearing.

You had a desperate please. He said that. Please. Hang on. He's still going on here. It seemed like the same animal was making the sounds, moving away from my location, and likely following the path of the elk. Okay, remember that from earlier? Oh yeah. Yeah.

So I think that's it. I think, oh. That's very good. Lonely, so basically if you're out doing lonely camping, just watch out for wild elk running through the place. They could be scared by something. So public service announcement there for you lonely campers. Sad campers, I think you could say.

Yeah. Well, the BFRO categorised Oliver Doty's report as a Class B case, meaning it was credible but had a lack of corroborating evidence. So, Close But No Cigars, which is his second book, which is... If you enjoyed the edge of my hearing, please welcome the sequel to a bookshop near you, Close But No Cigars. The follow up story. Do you know, the great thing is though, there is good merch to be had with his first book, which would be earrings.

Earrings would be the perfect gift for on the edge of my earring. A little tiny Bigfoot earrings. Yeah. Or just two bits of wood. Get it? They jingle, they actually knock together when you wiggle your ears.

There you go. See, an alcove, one ear, a Bigfoot on the other, chasing the other. Yes, oh yes. But do you get it, on the edge of my hearing. Yeah, because it's very good. It is. I just said, I just wondered if I had to.

Service announcement. We all got it possibly before you even got it. Definitely before I even got it. Definitely. His audio book of the book has to be so, so silent. Quiet. Yeah, as you're like, shh. I could just about hear the audiobook.

Yeah, maximum volume. And he goes here. And then I was in the tent. And I was just sleeping alone I was camping solo and there was a herder, I heard an elk go along the way there. And then I heard someone knocking. And then I heard another one further away. And that's pretty much the book. It's more of a pamphlet. It's more of a...

Audio pamphlets. That's something we could put out. Yeah. You'd be good at that. Yeah. Hey guys, guess what? Guess what? I actually have an actual public service announcement for the

Clip-a-news section. Okay. Okay. You wouldn't believe that. It's just popped up because the AI is listening to me and knows I need a public service announcement to redeem myself. And it is that there is a new three-day Bigfoot Festival coming to Oregon, to Mount Hood in April. This April 11th to the 13th is the inaugural Mount Hood Sasquatch Festival and it's going to celebrate all things Sasquatch and it's bringing together Bigfoot hunters,

enthusiasts, filmmakers and local vendors. Wait that's not a service announcement that's more of a notice board. Let's play the sting. Notice board. Did you notice it? No, I got bored. Notice board. Brilliant.

Yeah, that was a good sting between stings. That's like a pre-sting sting. I've never done that before. Okay, well, now that it's been stung, can you tell us the story? So some of the speakers is very exciting. They've got Cliff Barakman. Cliff's going to be there.

Not Cliff Face. God, he's striking. He's always on the edge, that guy. Guys, he's from the Finding Bigfoot TV show. Remember? And he's also the founder of the North American Bigfoot Center in a town called Boring. Other speakers include Jeff Meldrum, professor of autonomy and anthropology. There's another author, Michael Friedman. Just for the listeners, the giant buttons hands have come into effect again.

And we're really freaking out about the size of his big phalanges. Oh guys, look, they're just my phalanges. Okay. Leave them alone. Anyway, that's a public service announcement. Also it's important for you to know that there's gonna be a kids zone from 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. on Saturday,

which will offer kids activities, including a Sasquatch coloring contest and lessons how to wrestle a Bigfoot. Oh. Yeah. And it's also- I don't know about that. Are they offering that service? Someone's gonna dress up in a big suit, aren't they? And then kids can go and jump in.

I think so, because it says here, at least one Sasquatch is guaranteed to be roaming the property during the event, offering special gifts for those who spot him. Wow. So there you go. Please, hunters, do not bring your weapons. It is one of our friendly dads. I can't stress that enough.

Well the big question is for this festival is to whether or not there is going to be a shuttle bus or not because remember that episode from a long time ago. Yes. Yeah. If we have the Cryptid Factor shuttle bus, and if we actually made that, we could go to these festivals, not to do our podcast, but to offer shuttle bus services. It's getting that sweet, sweet shuttle bus money. Yeah. What happened to the Cryptid Factor? Are they more of a shuttle bus company now? Yeah, they sort of go to those weird festivals and just offer a van service. What? I'm just saying, that's helpful. Well look, here's the thing. This is really helpful.

I've got May off and I'm here in LA in May if you guys are available. I think that's when the UFO conference is happening. So if you want to go out to the desert and there's always some good shenanigans to happen there, check your rosters or in your case, Dan, your roosters and see whether youenanigans to happen there. Check your rosters or in your case, Dan, your roosters, and see whether you're allowed to come out. Ha ha ha ha ha. Oh please, darling.

Baa baa. Oh, all right. Ha ha ha. Can you please turn up to the UFO conference with a rooster as your partner? As your chicken, it's for two. Can you not see? I've got my partner here. So it's just you and your chicken.

Come on, Darv. Don't be chicken. Come and... Sorry, I didn't mean to say that. Come on, just come inside. Bye! All right. Look, do you mind? She's not filling herself today. Well, I could use my big... No, don't. I want... Don't want your fingers anywhere near my chest. I'm just going to pick it up. Oh my gosh.

You got any cryptid news, Dan, or...? Ah, okay. Yeah. Well, I'm mentioning this more because it's a cryptid that I'd never heard of. So there's a video associated with it, but a lot of people are saying this could easily be AI, which I think it could be, but this is the Mexican Goblin, which I'd never heard of. The legendary Chanukwai. It's a spirit associated with danger and it's a protector of nature. And there's a video that's been going around online people claiming that this is a video of it however as you'll see it could very

easily be ai although it's pretty impressive ai i mean it's hard to tell these days the ai is so good let's see what you think oh my god's disturbing. So we're just looking at this video now of a, uh, yeah, that looks very real. Oh, it says real in the caption, doesn't it? So it must be. Yeah, it's a dead giveaway. So yeah. So do you want to see that again? Is there any sound with it or no? Yes, it's got a real sort of baby sound to it. Okay, here we go It's a bit like Donald Duck impression. What's your analysis of that, Buttons?

Is it impossible to do analysis on any video anymore, is it, because of the whole AI? It is getting real hard. I have to say, it did look quite believable. And it was just weird how it was like almost like, do I say, go away, go away. It was like the camera was being quite evasive down like a little hole, like a little burrow or something like that. A little goblin hole.

Goblin hole, this little face of this little creature going, go away, go away. Or whatever. Yeah. It looks very believable, but everything does these days. The good thing is there's already a group of people out there, this is a public service announcement, that are using AI to try and communicate with that elf. And they're putting it through large language

models at the moment. Well, actually, I don't think we need AI to communicate. We just need to cut the middle man. I actually found that video on Pornhub. That's how I first heard that video. You're searching up glory hole, but you got goblin hole, didn't you? Goblin in a hole. That'll do. That sounds sexy.

Is it? Yeah. But this is a real cryptid I've never heard of before the Chan Kuei legendary creature Mexican folklore meaning those who inhabit dangerous places or owners of the house and There's a lot of stone carvings that you'll find out in the wild and so on a bit like the cuppa I'm just always fascinated whenever we do an episode and there's always a new cryptid I'm just always fascinated whenever we do an episode and there's always a new cryptid. Well yeah, the goblin thing is big and there's been many stories and you know, fits in with the gnomes, fits in with little extraterrestrial beings. I feel like if they are real, they live here on this planet and have been here for as long as we have been, but have been perhaps underground or in these areas that we can't find.

Yeah, there's more description on the Wikipedia here, which includes the Shanaquays also had a reputation for kidnapping young men and women to have sexual relations. Ah, we're off the hook now. This episode is... Come on, give us a go. Oh please I just want to come in. I've got my wife here. We'll take the chip. I just can't help thinking all the time about the description for this episode, about how we're going to talk about Dan's chicken wife and bestiality as a feature.

Public service announcement. Apologies to Dan's actual wife. There is no way do we think you're a chick or a rooster or anything foul. Yeah, marriage protection announcement. Check this out. Historian Javier Ayala Calderon discovered an archive in 1676 in which a young man narrated his sexual experience with a duende which I think is what this is. Yeah. That's wild. 1676.

Yeah. This is a very old cryptid. Yeah and so a duende, what it actually is, a duende is the sort of category that's like saying like an elf in general. That's sort of like the wider category of goblin-like creature and a chanaquay is a type of dewindae. And then it fits that description, short and naked, living in forest, rivers, or caves, and connected to the earth and water. And so that certainly was that little video that was sort of literally in the earth. And it says they can be seen as both evil and good creatures.

Yeah. Although weirdly a further description of it says, is often seen wearing a wide brimmed sombrero. Ha ha ha ha! There's always a touch of the ridiculous that seeps its way in, isn't there? Yeah. Totally. Yeah.

But I like to think these creatures have been living here on the planet for even longer than us. And so they know us, and when we came into being and how big and annoying we are and how we took over the planet. And so they've had plenty of time to get used to us and hide from us and deal with us. And we're pretty egotistical that we're not really even imagining that there's anything else other than the stuff that we've categorized.

There's not enough of us that go out and actually search for these things. Only a small handful of geniuses on laptops. And you too. Yep. I've actually, a few of these cryptids have a restraining order on me, so I'm actually not allowed to be near them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've figured out what they've actually said. Yeah.

Hey, should we go to a restaurant? Do they serve chicken there? Because I'm actually not allowed to be within 20 foot of any chickens. A live or dead. A nightmare. A live or dead. Yeah, it's terrifying. All right, well, look, on that note,

I think we should leave it there. It's been some fun to be had, some great news. The JFK stuff still pending. Keep an eye out for next podcast. We're trying to be more regular and hopefully more down the road. This episode has to come out before April the 11th. Otherwise, my public service announcement is a waste of time.

So Helena better get editing to get this one out. It'll probably come out April the 10th and there'll be people that are like, oh, I would have traveled to Oregon if I had a hurt. Do that, do that. I think I'll be surprised whether that 15 minute segment of you raving on about something people could have just googled will actually make the cut to be honest with you.

Hint, hint, Alina, but there might be a little bit of it in there. Little scrap, a wee little scrap. Oh guys, it's early in the morning in Japan here. I got up nice and early for... You've done very well. And I'm just about to have to go to catch a bus to the airport. I got up nice and early for... You've done very well. And I'm just about to have to go to catch a bus to the airport, I'm flying out now.

I've got a homemade little Japan dash. Well, I'm glad you got to do one of these episodes in Japan, you recorded, that's a cool thing. First one from Japan. Not live from Japan. Yeah. Yeah, not big in Japan. By the way, I filmed a lot of the kapa chino, um, kapa tea.

What is it? Kapa tea. Not kapa chino. Oh, thank you. See, that doesn't work for me. It's the same as that stupid thing of doing the months. 30 days has January, February, July and April, but 29 for the others apart from December. That's not the rhyme at all. No, but that's my point.

Exactly. With cappuccino, if you say cappuccino, it kind of blows that whole little rule out the window, doesn't it? You say cappuccino. Not cappuccino. I often say I'm going to go and have a cappppa tea. Hey guys, who wants a cappa tea? Oh my gosh. Anybody?

No, I was just saying that I filmed a lot of my adventures. Public service announcement. Public service announcement. This episode is over. What I'm saying is that if you join the Patreon, you get to see my little video. And we need two new hosts for the Crypto Factor. Two new hosts required. People can pay to join OnlyFans, I mean Patreon, to get to come and see my balls on the ground with the capper.

Oh my god. Alright I'm leaving. On that note I'm going. Goodbye everyone, see you next week. Bye! Bye! I'm gonna be a star I'm gonna be a star I'm gonna be a star I'm gonna be a star I'm gonna be a star I'm gonna be a star I'm gonna be a star I'm gonna be a star I'm gonna be a star I'm gonna be a star

I'm gonna be a star I'm gonna be a star You've waited long enough, little monsters. Lady Gaga presents the Mayhem Ball. Live across North America. Get tickets Thursday, April 3rd at LiveNation.com. ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. We've all got that one post.

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