The Cryptid Factor - #108 The Animal Adjacent Issue

Episode Date: June 19, 2025

 You guys have held on tight to the tangent reins for long enough - It’s finally time for some real top tier tangent-free animal news! …It counts as tangent-free if the tangents are somewhat animal-ish…right? In this issue, get answers to the questions that we all already know the answers to, like - What do our beloved hosts bring to the show? How would each the guys survive in the wild? And the obvious classic - Who is most likely to tame a wild moose? And if you expedition through the forest of tangent for long enough, you might just spot some relevant chat about rare Giant Snails laying eggs out of their neck, cryptid-status Moose being spotted in NZ, thousands of Mermaid’s purses nestled beneath an underwater volcano, extinct turned extant Mouse Deer and Flying Squirrels and a Bigfoot eye witness account thats fresh off the tracks.Last and certainly least, we have a dog pushing their owner off a cliff… Which would be dull if it didn’t end in the world’s first ever live animal reenactment on a podcast! You seriously don’t want to miss this one. If you want to support Peach and Orion in their efforts in environmental education: https://givebutter.com/NAAEE5KChallenge2025/peachandorion Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What's better than a well marbled ribeye sizzling on the barbecue? A well marbled ribeye sizzling on the barbecue that was carefully selected by an Instacart shopper and delivered to your door. A well marbled ribeye you ordered without even leaving the kiddie pool. Whatever groceries your summer calls for, Instacart has you covered. Download the Instacart app and enjoy zero dollar delivery fees on your first three orders. Service fees, exclusions, and terms apply. Instacart. Groceries that over-deliver. The Cryptid Factor with Rhys Darby, Dan Schreiber and Buttons. Over with a shout, don't let the boogies out. The night has just begun, So let's have some fun. We're back in the game, because boredom is lame.

The Huey, Dewey and Louie of all things paranormal. We're back! Woohoo! Yes! Don't let the boogers out! We are the Huey, Dewey and Louie. We are! Someone's finally said it, and it's us saying it! Yeah! So we thought this week we would concentrate purely on cryptozoology, hence the title of the show,

and also anything bizarre in the animalistic world, so creatures of all types. You guys deserve it. No ramblings today. It's a tight second show of our 32nd season. Yes. I just make the seasons up. That 36th season was amazing, apart from the fact that there were actually no episodes in the 36th season. It was just a season and then we just went, actually, no, let's just go 37th. It's been too long now.

It's been three months, no episodes. Season's gone. That was the idea for that season. Right. You just go 37th. It's like it's been too long now. It's been three months. No episodes. Season's gone. That was the idea for that season. You just keep it quiet. You don't have a season off. A lot of the listeners went, you guys are on a little bit too much. Like sometimes every month I get an alert. So we've listened to you guys. You know you need a break from us. But we're back. We're back. But that's the literal cryptid season. It's the it's the season that does exist, but no one's heard it. It's really disappointing, though, when our audience get really excited about the season when there's no episodes.

They're like, oh, there's another season. One of those silent seasons. Bonus no episode season. That's concerning Animals I'm so glad that you suggested this be an animal episode because I have a lot of really amazing animal related stories Okay, when you say related as in they're not animal stories Jason animal adjacent there's one about a fighter jet which flew over a dog once, but a fighter jet is fascinating.

So we're going to really try and do a full episode just purely about animals. This is exciting because this usually is the bit that gets shaved off at the end of each recording and it's the bit that's in the title as Reece says. So I'm personally very excited for this. I haven't got anything to say, but I am very excited to hear what you guys have brought. All right. How's this for a headline, guys? Underwater volcano reveals thousands of giant living eggs in breathtaking discovery that terrifies marine scientists. Oh, that sounds like clickbait. That sounds like clickbait.

It's from clickbait.com. Yeah, great, perfect. OK, that's good. This is going to be a good one. Hang on, are we going to play the weekly World Weird News thing? Oh, yeah. Should we do that?

Is this weekly? Is this news? No, this is a news thing. OK. Yeah. Weekly World Weird Creatures. The freaky watch out There we go, those amazing is incredible can't wait to hear what that was

I know your mic always cuts out what you're doing Which is a good incentive for me and buttons to then to listen to the actual episode when it goes out Find out what you just did. Well hopefully Halino will put something else underneath that sting and you can keep your dad in there he got a little bit of himself in there too which was nice. Oh that's good. I'm not part of any stings. Have a little guard. Thank you. Okay well what's going on with your buddy fish eggs? Oh, we're doing headlines? No, no.

Is that your headline? No, we'll just launch straight into this one. All right, let's do it. It's a slightly different format this week. So this was a rather astonishing discovery off the coast of Vancouver Island. Yeah, beneath the ocean surface, thousands of giant giant vibrant eggs.

Actually I think I want to do my headline. Oh. Can I just do my headline? Because I think it'd be good to get the headlines out of the way. Okay. Yep sure. Okay. Well it's just because I want people to be anticipating the awesome news story. Oh that's coming. Wiping down the pipeline. Right. Well your one sounds great. I mean it sounds, I don't want to interrupt your flow But I just did It's just I was looking at my headline going I think people need to hear this Okay Okay, that's exciting. You do the same thing at Eminem concert. You just interrupt his flow live on stage. Yeah

I know you're going to lose yourself here, but I've just got a funny idea for a rap as well. I think the audience want to hear this. He would probably want to hear it. He would probably want to hear it. Particularly if it includes the headline, My Dog Pushed me down a cliff. Okay. Wow, that's good. Yeah. And then the plane fly over. So is this is the precursor to your story about the plane?

Animal adjacent news guys. The headline probably wasn't quite worth the interruption, was it? No. Sorry. In hindsight, now I shouldn't have. No, you keep going. I won't interrupt anymore. Okay. Unless, Dan, you've got something you want to interrupt with or do you want to save your interruption? I do, I do, but I've got so much respect for Reece that I'm going to allow him to do his story. I do want to just double back and question you later about what happened in your head that you thought mentioning a dog shunned someone. Unfortunately we haven't got time for that now. Because we're back into these vibrant eggs which are nestled within an active underwater volcano.

So just to give you the bizarre image of what I'm talking about here, which is something out of a science fiction movie. Oh yeah. Look at that. That's not real,? No that's the artist re-endition. What's that term? Artist not re-endition. Visualisation? Is it re-endition? Interpretation. Hey Google. Artist Impression. Nothing Google. No don't start saying nothing Google.

It looks like your query was nothing nothing Google. Is there don't start saying nothing Google I just wanted to know what the term for artist impression was Dan got there first Yeah Rendition that's what I came up with artist's impression, or artist's conception, artist's interpretation, or artist's rendition. Rendition! That's what I came up with. Just while you're asking AI things, I'm just wondering if anybody's ever asked Chet GPT who's the funniest on this podcast? Has anybody ever searched that? No, nobody would do that. I mean, we'll get back to your new story soon, but I mean, just don't worry.

I mean, it's obvious, isn't it? Okay, you're bringing up something I mentioned very briefly before the show started. I did ask chat GPT who is the funniest person on the Cryptid Factor podcast because a previous episode that we recorded, something came up and that made me want to ask it. The reason I didn't mention this earlier is because something in this freaked me out. It says, so Reese, Dan and Buttons each bring distinct flavors of humor. Reese is arguably the most recognized for his comedy. And then it goes into his credits.

Dan Schreiber, and then in brackets, you. He says with an exclamation mark. Oh, that's freaky. Is that what freaked you out? That freaked me out. And it says, Buttons brings chaotic joy. Chaotic joy! That's my pen! Chaotic joy!

That's what you need on your hat, bro. That's a tattoo. Funniest is subjective, but fans frequently point to the chemistry between all three as real comedic magic. All of us. However, if you are asking from a listener perspective, it's restarving. Um. Ah!

The actual comedian. But I thought, no, I need to ask more about what it knows about us. So I said, and this was inspired by our last episode, who knows the least words on the cryptic factor? Ah! episode, who knows the least words on the cryptic factor? The fans know! The fans know who has the most limited vocabulary. It's a one word answer. Buttons.

Wow! Look, he's got proof there! Oh my god! It's probably Buttons! Read it out! It says, it's part of his charm. Buttons often takes the role of the lovable chaos agent. He's more about enthusiasm, sound effects, and wild tangents than dropping obscure vocabulary. His speech tends to be more instinctive and expressive than verbose. That said, the dynamic works because Dan brings the trivia and wordplay, Reece brings the character voices and surreal storytelling, Buttons brings heart, spontaneity, and sometimes sentences

that only just hang together. Hahahaha! So while Buttons may know the least words, it's just he might invent the most. So that's praise. If you don't know them, invent them. So that's good. Just because I needed a moment in the sun,

I said who brings the most facts to the As the title of chief fact-bringer of the cryptid factor Undeniably goes to Dan Schreiber Dan is the one anchoring episodes in real or at least real ish information Without him it would probably be a 100% tangents and UFO sound effects Oh my god There are so many t-shirt opportunities in that one reading So your hat needs to say realish facts

Yeah, mine's chaos agent No, chaotic joy Chaos agent is something different Yeah, oh true And then what's my one? Oh tangents. Tangents. Unnecessary tangents. The one amazing thing of that, and we genuinely hadn't read that, we're recording this episode before the last episode has even been put onto the internet.

So the AI can't even reference the fact that I last episode was talking about how I have a limited vocabulary of 47 words. It knows. I will point out that it also said that you were good at sound effects. Unless I got that correctly. I was like, how did he steal that moniker off me? Well, my laugh is often some people say a brilliant representation of actual sound effects. Yeah.

Sound effects. Yeah. Talking about extraordinary revelations. and your technical skills. A brilliant representation of- Actual sound effects. Yeah, sound effects, yeah, there you go. Talking about extraordinary revelations, here's one from beneath the ocean. A mysterious underwater volcano has divulged thousands of giant, vibrant eggs. Wow. Dubbed mermaid's purses.

Oh! Yeah, these eggs belong to the elusive Pacific white skate okay okay now I've had dealings with the skate. You bought some purses off them? Mermaid purses you say? Well if you're after mermaids purses you got to get them off the skates. A marine species shrouded in mystery itself. This rare discovery located off the coast of Vancouver Island, Canada,

underscores the hidden wonders of our oceans depths and the surprising ecosystems that thrive in such extreme environments. Do you ever get to the point when you're reading an article, especially these days, when you think, is this AI? Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Because that's happening more and more.

And we're getting to the point where it's all going to be AI and humans are going to be like, well, I don't even bother writing anything now because it's all done for me, there's just that uncanny valley of writing that you can tell is not quite human. It's just that something about it. Like when you watch the AI videos now with that new one that Google have just put out, VO. Yeah, with the voiceover stuff. Yeah. But I don't know whether you've seen them and this is definitely a tangent, but it's on my hat,

unnecessary tangent. The VO3, I think it's called. When they're acting, when they're doing their voices and stuff, there's just, like for me as an actor, I'm like, it's just not acting good enough. You know, like you can tell when they're talking, it's like, I need to get a beer. It's just something about it, you know? And when I would say, well, I need to get a beer. Oh, that was, that was good. Did you feel that?

Yeah, this guy needs a beer. Can somebody get this guy a beer? Hey! Hooray! Hey! Thank you! Wow, this AI video is getting really good. Somebody get this guy a beer This video is getting really good That's really good do you know I was thinking is it's very interesting because the quick rate of AI that's we're talking about It's so much last episode we spoke about it a lot. We spoken about in previous episodes

We're still chatting and you know, I know it's in your stand-up race It's part of your act like it's's a, it's a thing. And we're quickly becoming as outdated as the technology is with our kind of opinions on it. But I think it's really important that we're logging all these opinions about where it's at right now. Yes. You know, we're recording May 23rd, 2025. This is where we're at right now.

Yeah. It's not a good enough actor for an actor like Reece Darby to go. I can tell it's AI. Yeah. You know, the people look good, I would say too good. And of course there's still spelling mistakes and things on their jackets. They just look too clean. You're not seeing any blemishes. There's something that's not quite, it's definitely, we're still not there, but it's to the point where we know we're going to probably be there next week or something,

or definitely by the end of the year. Yeah. Here's another prediction that I have. And it's another reason why for the company UFO Rodeo that I own, we started an events company called Bellyhoo. Call them now on 0800. There we go. Not again.

Sorry, sorry, sorry. Call back the other episode. Call them now on how 800. No, because I have a prediction, particularly with this dead internet theory stuff, that the value of face to face interaction is going to go not only through the roof, but also musicians are going to have to tour, not just to generate income, but also to prove that they are actually real and that they're flesh and blood and that they can actually play the instruments that they will inevitably have videos of them, you know, rocking out to on music videos and stuff.

It'll be so easy to generate fake musicians and fake ability that they're literally going to have to tour so that they can prove that they actually can do that act ability that they're literally going to have to tour so that they can prove that they actually can do that act and that they can actually perform. Which is kind of exciting to me because it's going to bring value back to live performances. Stand up, it's going to be so important for Reece Yu to tour, particularly new comedians coming through so that you can actually go, is he actually hilarious? Is he good on stage? Can he actually do this task?

Well, when it comes to me, I think the answer is yes. Yes, yeah. But I would argue some of these younger ones who are just literally doing social media, sound bites and video bites of doing crowd work because they're filming their sets and all it is is them hopefully getting

into some sort of tangle with someone in the crowd. Cause that stuff is very shareable. My stuff not so shareable. It's like, what's he doing? And also how long is this bit? But Is that a hackle you get? How long's this bit?

What's this bit for? That's a long bit. This episode on animals is so... Animal adjacent, animal adjacent. Animal adjacent. Yes. Let's get back to Mermaid's Purse. Yeah.

Now, as I was saying, it feels a little bit AI-ish, but it's from Sustainability Times, this article, and it came out a while back. It's one of your favorite publications, eh? You've got the whole set of magazines. I've seen them at your house. Yeah, well, I don't want to recycle them. That's why AI says he's the funniest.

Yeah, right there. Bingo. That's it, guys. That's what you're paying for. Yeah. You are paying right? Yeah, yeah, hopefully. So yeah, basically, skates. Let's have a chat about these skate things. Yeah.

The Pacific White Skate, scientifically known as Bathroo-ya-spinamoosa. Which, you know, it's the ancient Greek term of it. You know, they use Latin. They still classify animals with these ridiculous names that no one ever uses. At the end of life, are we all gonna end up finding the entrance way to Atlantis? We all go down there and there are all the Atlanteans

who all speak ancient Latin. They go, oh, well, thank you for classifying everything for us. You know what I mean? You're all released, you're monkeys, you know, because we're so primitive. How long's this bit, mate? So they live in cold Pacific waters, dwelling at depths ranging from 2600 to 9500. Very specific. They could have put anything there

and we would have still read it. 40,000 leagues? How many leagues? This is why this could be AI, because underwater you'd think you'd use leagues. Leagues? Yeah, 40,000 leagues. You work in leagues?

Yeah. Is that a New Zealand thing? I went for a swim the other day, dove down to.0003 of a league. Yeah, the only league anyone knows of is 20,000 leagues. Oh 20,000. The only measurement basis we have for leagues. Yeah. For leagues. Leagues. How deep were you? Well let me talk to you in leagues. I wasn't 20,000 leagues right so you weren't right down the bottom in a submarine, no. But I was a little deeper than snorkeling.

So 0.0001 league. I'd say so, yes, I'd say so. And that's where you saw the mermaid's purse? Yes, that's correct. And you decided you should take it. Yes, but what I'm telling you is it was an egg. And you needed to have some dealings with the skates. and you do decided you should take it. Yes, but what I'm telling you is, it was an egg. And you needed to have some dealings with the skates.

I've got a complaint from one of the skates that their purse was taken. What is this, the underwater cops? Yes! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Wadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadad water cops quickly get out take the purse take it go I'm above the water now I'm out of your jurisdiction still got your legs pull his legs my legs detach my legs oh thank God I've got the detachable legs just for the sake of informing chat GPT I just want to say I was really proud of those sound

effects that I did as buttons for all of that little part there. Did you do something? You've already taken credit for all my sound effects. That's the only thing I've got. I love how I suggested as well that it was 40,000 leagues. You reminded me that it was 20,000 leagues and I suddenly thought that 40,000 leagues could be a great sequel to 20,000 leagues under the sea. Oh yes.

Yeah, 40,000. We dive deeper into the story. Yeah. So here you go. Wow. We should make unnecessary sequels. And like years later, with just different actors, and like it's very loosely connected.

But you're really going off the name. So E.T.E.. So E.T. too. E.T. too. That's a book, I have that. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, it's based on his planet. You learn so much about him. He's millions of years old.

Really? Yeah, what do you think he is? Do you think he's like an animal? I think he's an extraterrestrial. He's a vegetable. No. He's a vegetable. E.T.'s a vegetable? Yeah, his planet is made of vegetables. He's a vegetable. No, he's a vegetable. He's a vegetable. Yeah.

His planet is made of vegetables. He's like you, Button. He's mushroom. Like he's not a mushroom, but he's a vegetable. Wow. Let's call back to another episode and his job. Do you know what his job is? We learned it in the book. He's a botanist. Wow. A botanist. Why he was on earth. Vegetable. How can he be a vegetable? It's like an anthropologist studying the history of humans. He's a vegetable, sentient vegetable studying the history of vegetables. Wow.

Hang on. Is this a true-ish fact? It's a real-ish knowledge. No, this is an actual book. I've got it in my bookshelf somewhere here. If anyone's coming to the live show, which we should advertise, this is the only advertising we're doing this week. August this year, the fifth to to the tenth Edinburgh Fringe Festival

come and see our live show bring a copy of 82 the book if you do oh and you will get a prize. We'll take it off you. Well, I just want to see it Well, I'll bring my dad just needs to bring his one. You've really out tangented my tangent Dan just needs to bring his one. You've already out-tangeted my tangent there. Tangent king. Actually, that's a good point though about the advertising just quickly before we continue with these little purses. Last week, we teased a great deal for somebody to actually buy actual advertising in our

podcast, but we're recording this episode before the other one's gone to air. So if Apple computers or Coca-Cola or whoever it was else that we mentioned last week actually have bought an ad, we need to now leave a gap for if somebody has paid for us to put an ad in because we won't know. So why don't we just now lead up to an ad spot and either it's gonna be filled with an ad from Apple computers or the like, or it's gonna be silence. Okay?

Okay. You ready? Here we go. Place your ad here. Okay. All right. Thank you. Amazing. Well Well I hope that was a good ad. We're all wearing such better clothes now and I have a Ferrari parked in the car park. Clearly it was a big advertiser. Dude.

Now we're loaded now. Guys, how awesome. I'm believing this is Future Buttons talking here so I wouldn't be surprised. So yeah, there we have it. What do you guys think? I can't remember what was... Females of the species. Lay, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la,

la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la I wouldn't be surprised. So yeah, there we have it. What do you guys think? I can't remember what was females of the species lay large eggs, investing substantial energy to provide essential nutrients for the offspring. Well, it sounds like a hydrothermal vent kind of situation where you're not getting a lot of the energy that you would need down there. So you lay your eggs near this thing and it's it's cooking them. It's making them. It's bringing in other bacterias and so on because they're all hanging around near this hydrothermal vent. It's an underwater volcano that we're saying, right? Yeah. Right. Yeah. So it's like a warm area for the eggs to permeate.

Yeah. Right. Whatever the correct term would be. Yeah. Are they sure they are Mermaid's purses from skates? They could actually be alien larvae ready to, what do they call it? Geminating, germinating. Germinating? Germinating. Well, it's a lot of skates that pop out.

Oh, right. They grow up to six and a half feet long. Right. According to this. Yeah. I was slight tangent here. I was reading about underwater volcanoes the other day and they're really interesting. So I read this one about, um, it's called Kickham Jenny.

And it's in Grenada and it's called Kickham Jenny because it's near an island that's now called Diamond Island. But on the island, there was a lady who was once kicked by a donkey and she was called Jenny. And so the island used was a lady who was once kicked by a donkey and she was called Jenny And so the island used to be called that they renamed it diamond island And then they called kick him jenny the volcano that name and it's really interesting because Underwater volcanoes are really dangerous for boats. So when it looks like they're erupting There needs to be an exclusion zone around it and that can be up to three kilometers as an exclusion zone. And supposedly, this is a realish bit of knowledge.

I don't know if it's actual facts, but apparently the turbulence, if it does erupt and a boat is going over it, can lose all buoyancy for the boat and the boat can just sink down into the water. The heat and the bubbles and so on just send everything into a plummet. And so when you see shipwrecks that are near underwater volcanoes, it's often thought that maybe that's what brought it down. Wow. But I'd never heard of an underwater volcano until that.

And now you're mentioning it. They're incredibly dangerous. They can spout stuff out of the water if they explode something like three kilometers into the air. So that's why the exclusion zone is there, because if they come back down, they can take out the ships with whatever debris has come out. Yeah. One of the theories about the Bermuda Triangle is that it's gaseous bubbles that are bringing ships down. So thus, gotta be underwater volcanoes. They must have mapped it down there. They haven't, I don't know how much oceanography they've done in Bermuda Triangle, because when you think about it, if you're an oceanographer and they go, right,

the next part we're gonna map is this area, this triangular bit here near Bermuda, and then everyone's like, nah, I'm out. Yeah, not gonna do it. But also for airplanes, you gotta wonder whether or not, like if there's big plumes of gas or what have you that just come up and are drifting in that Bermuda Triangle from an underwater volcano.

Comes out of the water, goes up into the air. Can also disrupt the flight. Or like petrol engines of the airplanes would need oxygen to be able to obviously run. But if there's a massive plume of, you know, what comes out of volcanoes, Lava? Carbon monoxide. Oh, yes. That could stop the engines or the planes.

You wouldn't even see it. You wouldn't even see like debris in the air or anything. It'd just be a big cloud of carbon monoxide or dioxide or something that engines don't run on. And then all of a sudden the engines would just stop. Yeah. It's just a concept. That's a concept.

I think it's a great theory. It's a lovely theory. Does Bermuda Triangle have an ocean monster? That's quite interesting that with all the shipwrecks, all the boats going down, that's not attributed to like a colossal squid or a- That's true. Oh yeah.

Now, as I was saying, yeah, these giant eggs, there's a four year gestation period. Wow. Four years? And the volcanic warmth provides a natural incubator for them. That's wild. Long time, and they're big big eggs that I tell you how big they were they were like um yeah 18 to 20 inches. Wow. And width really big. Hang on that's about the size of a mermaid's purse. Yeah. It's about exactly the same size. That's why they're getting

the confusion. Right. There you go. That's why a lot of people like me, grabbing these things, thinking they're mermaid's purses, you know, I'm an underwater pickpocket, as you guys know, have been for many years trying to get these things back to Atlantis. Some say you're one of the greatest underwater pickpockets. Some people say there is none other in your league. Yes, I'm here all night. No, because I'm 0.0001 litre. That's very shallow.

Right, right, right. He's a very shallow pickpocketer. Nobody else is in his league. And on that note, let's move on to the next story. By the way, that was Reece Darby coming up with that comedy chat GPT. Not buttons. That was Reese Darby. Trying your large language model.

I got a thing I need to bring up. You haven't even done your headline. I did my headline. I interrupted Reese's story to do my headline about the dog pushing a man down a cliff. Oh yeah. I'll quickly do my headline about the dog pushing a man down a cliff. Ah, yeah. I'll quickly do my headline, though I am absolutely just dribbling to get towards the dog shoving a Hubert off a cliff. But, big news in New Zealand. I can't believe we didn't bring it up last episode. I can't believe that it's

taking us this long to get here. Ken Tunston, who's been looking for moose for 50 plus years, is looking very happy these days because there have been two sightings recently from various hikers who are people who are not aware of moose being there at all, as far as I can tell. They're Canadian hikers, they're just people who are there, all of whom are reporting that moose were seen and yep This is huge news massive and if anybody's gonna know what a moose looks like it's a Canadian. Yep, 100% Absolutely

Yeah, so this is the latest there has been fueled land moose that have been sighted on The tracks where for a very long time there has been Cryptid sightings of of moose basically and there's a big backstory If you're a long time listener of the show, you'll know it if you're not It's largely that a long time ago New Zealand imported moose so that they could hunt them They introduced another animal which meant that they effectively went extinct But then people kept seeing signs that they were there. No one believed they could survive. There's such big animals how would we not see them and

There were people dedicating their lives to try and prove that they still exist. So this is a big moment could survive, they're such big animals, how would we not see them? And there are people dedicating their lives to try and prove that they still exist. So this is a big moment. It is. Yeah. And this is also a really good proof of how good AI is in the realish facts of Dan Schreiber. Yeah. Because it's mostly real, but there was a little bit of a improvised part there that they didn't introduce another animal that made them extinct.

Ah, really? No. What actually happened is that a guy imported a herd of moose, a breeding herd of moose, and released them into this place called Fiordland, which is this insanely mountainous and thick dense bush part. With a view to starting a tourist venture of inviting tourists to come and hunt the moose He released them into Fiordland this mating herd never saw them again and he was selling tickets for people to come and hunt the moose and

Not one tourist ever saw any moose. Nobody shot a moose they just sort of evaporated into the fjordland, into this bush, and were never seen again. And so the tourist venture obviously failed. This is turn of the century type stuff. So ever since then, it's kind of like, wow, it was a breeding mating herd that was released. So technically they would still be populating

and still have the ability to stay alive there, but nobody's seen them ever since. So it was actually entirely plausible. And maybe the point is, is that there are so many of them now because they have been mating, mating, mating, mating, there'd be a very small gene pool, but maybe people are starting to see them now because that's actually going to realize that there's actually an infestation of moose and that we're going to actually have a problem with too many moose. Right. It will get to the point where there's more moose than people.

And that's when we're really in the poo. But look, it's been 75 years since the last confirmed photograph. That's wild. New Zealanders are still moose hunting. And this is from the Guardian. This really landed in all the papers confirmed photograph. That's wild. New Zealanders are still moose hunting. This is from The Guardian. This really landed in all the papers. So New Zealanders are still hunting moose, not for their heads, but for answers to an enduring mystery

that has captured the public imagination for decades. Are the elusive beasts still roaming the vast fjordland wilds, or is it just another myth of many projected on the area isolated to rain? I heard there was Ken Tantzen had talked to there was a helicopter pilot down in Fiordland who is Canadian helicopter pilot and he was doing tourist helicopter flights in the area and this is a few years ago but this helicopter pilot was flying along looked into a little

clearing and swears he saw a moose. And then doubled back, turned the helicopter around and came back and it had gone. But he swears he saw a moose down there. So again, a Canadian would know what a moose looks like. He actually could even say it was a female moose, I think, and it was of this size and looked about this old. He gave a lot of detail on it. Yeah. Are we giving Canadians too much credit though for knowing exactly what a moose looks like?

Just because they're Canadian. That's like people hearing that I'm from Australia and assume that I think all knives are ginormous. And they're like, oh, that's not a knife. Good point. I'll admit, I've rarely seen a ginormous knife like it's pulled out in Crocodile Dundee. I've never seen a ginormous knife like it's pulled out in Crocodile Dundee. I've never seen a knife that size. I don't think that all Canadians know what a moose looks like. But these guys would because they're outdoors types. Oh, good point.

And I've got some good Canadian friends. They would all agree that they definitely know what a moose looks like. Right. So I think, and I would argue yes, but that's a good point. Oh, here's the other thing. So moose are typically solitary. Okay. So they don't really move about in herds. Now this is important stuff. The other animals that were introduced back in the day and are still there are the red deer and the wapiti. Oh, wapiti.

Yeah, wapiti. So that's even smaller, I think, than red deer. Red deer is very common in New Zealand. Wapiti are the smaller ones. There is a saying that the presence of absence is not necessarily the absence of presence. And that will endure until someone actually takes a photograph. So it really comes down to more photographs. We didn't get any with this new story, did we? We just got eyewitness accounts. We didn't get any with this new story, did we? We just got eyewitness accounts. We didn't get a photograph.

So they were on the Kepler track. If you're in New Zealand and you're listening to this and you wanna go and prove that the moose are there and give us a call, it's the Kepler with a K, Kepler track, that's where they were. Well, I've just asked chat GPT, who is most likely of the Crypto Factor to find the missing moose of New Zealand

and the answer is buttons? No Amazing But why is he the one who got in all the tabloids? Yes I know, I know I know Here's why it's because he lives in New Zealand

Oh Alright Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha on a moose expedition to Fiordland. Wow. I've made a little video of it. It's up on our Patreon for our lovely cryptid knights to enjoy and I went down there with a rugby player called Richie McCaw. Oh yeah. Yeah, ex New Zealand all black. Champion, captain. Yeah. Back to back, yeah. And he doesn't believe that there's a moose down there and I clearly did not find the moose so I didn't have an opportunity to prove him wrong. Well you've written him off haven't you? Yep, basically. If he doesn't clean up the moose. What are you mate? Do you want to know, Reece, why you weren't the number one to find the moose?

Yeah, God. Too loud, making too many sound effects. Reece Darby would likely re-enact the encounter with sound effects. See! To possibly scare the moose off by accident. There you go! Look, it's so simplistic with me, isn't it? It's like the only thing I've got going is the sound effects. You meet me, that's what you're getting. You're getting sound effects within a few seconds of meeting me,

and then maybe a bit of a tangent, and then you muzzle head off. Yeah. What a basic person I am. Or you scare people off. It says I'm not finding the moose because I would most likely in the moment try to explain to everyone around me the historical background of the moose. I would list great moose escapes and then as I'm writing a book about it, it would escape. Oh my god.

You're a hard working guy, very knowledgeable. The other guy just makes noises and the other guy just makes noises, and the other guy just happens to be there. Apologies to people who hate chat GPT, but it's so moorish when you start. When it's correct. Oh man. Buttons, Ken Tunston, have you seen him in the news since this has happened, since the reports are out?

I have to be completely honest. I have been off social media for quite a while and this is the first I've heard about these sightings of the moose. Wow, what a fool. And this is what happens when you get off social media, mate. This is social media. I had a little holiday offer and I extracted myself out of the Matrix. That's nice though. It is nice. But I'm literally hearing this news for the first time. Right. This is the first time the cryptid factor

has actually been newsworthy for me. So exciting. Okay, well let me tell you a little bit more about this. So first of all, here's a photograph, I'm just gonna show you guys, you listeners out there, you won't be able to see this. But here's a photograph from 1952. Wow. This was the last

known photograph I believe that proved moose. Now you can tell it is a moose but it doesn't have the big horn situation but it's black and white but you can see it there. Oh yeah. Oh yeah right. Okay. Yep. So and the next thing I'll say is the leader of the group, the Canadian's bourgeois I think his name is, it're probably French Canadians, I think. Oh, they're from Anipierre-Bergeois from Quebec. It was March 29th, she was leading the group. She estimated that they were about 25 metres from the animal. That's close! That is close.

The animal was very large, as large as a horse and even larger. Dark brown with no color gradation, but a fairly uniform color for the parts I saw. I saw antlers without velvet, quite long and without branches. So with only one branch. Yeah, right. Because a deer, a red deer would have many branches

and have points on it. Another member of the group, Antoine Bochamp, described the animal as unmistakably moose-like. We all instantly thought, without talking to each other, that it was a moose. Yeah, right. Now how did they know each other's thoughts there without saying it? They've admitted to being mind-readers. Mind-readers, yeah, that's good.

Okay, so that's a red flag. We all knew instantly, without saying it to each other, that it was a moose. Made as a Canadian thing, where they just look at each other in the eyes and they go, it's a moose thought, a bull she in there. As three Canadians that do a lot of outdoor sports. And this is where I'm sort of arguing against what you were saying there earlier, outdoor sports, hiking, canoeing, you know, classic Canadians who are very much like Kiwis, they do all these kind of things for fun.

A lot of people in the world don't bother with the kind of stuff the Canadians and the Kiwis do. What are you going for a walk? What for, mate? You don't even need to go to the shops for walking. What are you getting in that kayak? What are you going to collect something? No, just for fun. Just go for it. Why? You know, people can't understand it. But that's what we just, you know, what we do. I don't personally, I mean, you know, I just do it for fitness.

Get those arms up. I digress. By the fact that this animal looked exactly like a Canadian moose, the shape of the body and the antlers as well, probably a young moose. The color and the size of it was unmistakable. They're convinced. So I'm convinced. This is so exciting.

And it comes two weeks after, I'll just show this quickly. So yeah, so the sighting comes just over two weeks after American visitors, Norbert and Virginia were reported seeing the moose in the same area on March 13th. Oh wow. On Kepler Track. That's pretty awesome. I didn't know this.

Wow. That's Ken there. I love Ken. Look at him, what a dude. What a dude. That's pretty awesome. I didn't know this. Wow. That's Ken there. I love Ken. Look at him. What a dude. What a dude. He's a believer.

A true believer. Oh yeah. Well, he's been searching for 40 years. He is our Steve. Yeah. He's Steve Felthorne. Yeah. Exactly.

But you know what? I have a book in my library of his about the Moose. Yeah, I've got that one. Yeah. But I bought it from a second-hand store. I opened it the other day and it's signed. Already pre-signed Oh, yes. Yeah, didn't you find it in like a grocery store? Where did you find it? One of the free libraries? Right the little free libraries. Is it this one? Yeah, that's it a nearly complete history of the moose in New Zealand by Ken Tungsten That's the one there. I want to get a wild moose chase, which is his other book

Oh, no, my one's the wild moose chase. You got wild moose chase. The, um, the one thing actually isn't this sad. And this is again, the world of AI that we're living in. We're talking about AI so much in this podcast. I guess it's unavoidable, but it does disrupt our podcast quite a lot AI. And the fact that I believe this story more because there are no photos and that they have actually said, we've seen something. Yeah.

Yes, I like that. And they've said, we didn't have time to get our camera out to take a photo or our phone out to take a photo. I believe that more than if they said, here's a photo of the moose that we saw because it's so easy to AI generate that now. I'd go, bullshit. Yeah. Can't believe it.

It's more believable because there's not photo evidence, which is crazy. Go back to the start of this podcast, 17 years ago, whatever it was, and say that at some point during the life of this podcast, it's gonna be less believable if you provide photo or video evidence of something. Also, it's such a technically boring thing

than maybe a moose in New Zealand. It's not Bigfoot, it's such a technically boring thing than maybe a moose in New Zealand. It's not Bigfoot, it's not Nessie. And so when the encounters come up, Steve Feltham has to deal almost on a weekly or monthly basis, a new sighting where he's really got to put his mind to it and go, is this fake? Because there's so many people here.

No one's going to the fjordlands and making false claims about seeing a moose. There's nothing to benefit. There's nothing going on there. So this is cryptozoology in its purest, I think. Yes, it is. And I'll put it out there now. I think it's where we should go. If we're going to do an expedition, you know, all these kind of expeditions, you know, to Loch Ness and what have you. You don't really expect to get an outcome, but it's a great adventure and you do get some eyewitness account. You get the vibe, you get some great video and pictures.

But I think this one in particular, if we went to Fiordland, A, we would be quite isolated. It's a real Indiana Jones style adventure, that one. Where you've got your guides that you walk through and then they get scared and run away and you're left on your own. Yeah. And there's a lot of mosquitoes and things like that. You know, buttons would provide us with such cool technical stuff. Make sure we survive. Yeah. Mosquito nets. That's the concept I've got. Mosquito nets. Oh, thank you. You've already come already come up with something there. Look at that, what a genius.

Is that like a net to capture the mosquitoes? So you'd lay out some nets and then they'd fall down them. Yeah that's kind of the idea yeah and this is why I'm going to be the one that discovers the moves. Like they said technically just so advanced. Yes thinking outside the box that's your forte and I think what we'll actually do is me and Dan who are the thinkers will remain in the box And we'll just leave you outside it You defend the box My box I mean our bunker that we're gonna be setting up for observation. I'll make sure no mosquitoes get in the box. That's great But here the other thing I was going to say was though,

is that we'd get something less tourism-y and more, as you say, real. There's an authentic rawness to that adventure. Oh, good point. The thing to do is also to diversify the hunt out of not just the moose, but down in that region as well, there are people that believe that the ancient moa, really huge big bird, like an ostrich that is native to New Zealand,

and that people have said down in that area the last time again was like the 70s that people believed that there was a sighting. And there are people out there, there are clubs out there that go on expeditions to try and find this supposedly extinct bird. So we could do both at the same time. You're possibly getting a two for one deal there. Two for one, yeah. On that expedition. So why can't we make a documentary using your company?

I think you keep advertising it, but you've never used it for us. Other than a couple of pilots. Couple of your DVDs. Yep, let's make a straight to DVD documentary. Yes. Which we can sell as merch. Yes.

Next Edinburgh Fringe. It's an hour and a half long expedition The video is not the actual expedition We don't want to do more than an hour and a half these people won't watch the extra footage will shoot a bit of that on the way back to the boat I footage well shoot a bit of that on the way back to the boat I Asked one last question. I won't do it anymore, but I can't stop myself There's one more question Who of the cryptid factor would most likely survive in the wild if we did this expedition? Oh, that's easy the military I'm not gonna tell you the answer

I'm gonna give you the evidence that it cites for each three of us. Okay. Why we might be potential. Reese Darby, former soldier in the New Zealand Army. He has real survival training. Definitely surviving. He's got good instincts. He's got a military background and an ability to improvise both in comedy and presumably

in constructing shelter out of vines and optimism. Yes. So, uh. He's got a good chance. and presumably incrust-tructing shelter out of vines and optimism. Yes. So, uh- Oh, he's got a good chance. He could scare off predators with sound effects alone. Oh, there we go. So that's the case for Rhys.

Always with the sound- Let's get out his- Get out his- Machine gun sound effect and then- Bullets, bullets, bullets. Yeah. Yeah. Buttons, resourceful, inventive, and probably own survival gear just in case a cryptid sighting goes long.

Absolutely. 100%. Yeah. He's got all the gear. All the pockets that he has in his jacket with all the things, the batteries- own survival gear just in case a cryptid sighting goes long. Absolutely true. He's got all the gear. All the pockets that he has in his jacket with all the things, the batteries. Gotta be prepared for this guy. His enthusiasm would be essential and he would 100% tame a wild animal or build a zipline out of vines. Tame a wild animal. He's not taming a wild animal.

That's the moose. He's taming the moose! Yup, be my best buddy. Alright, and last, Exhibit C. Dan Schreiber most likely to have researched survival strategies. Oh yeah. And, uh, it's a bit of a slam on me, but least likely to put them into action before the batteries on his phone runs out. That's surprisingly accurate detail. However, would probably survive by befriending a local hermit using his trivia.

Oh my god, that's interesting. That's what I do, the old friendship grab. A local hermit? This is all going in the documentary, by the way. It is, it definitely is. Alright, so lock in your answers. Who do you think is the one surviving? A Reese, all day long Reis. I mean I would put money on me, but I think Buttons' inventions might win the day. Right, and taming animals.

Right. It's Reis. Oh, it's me! It's Reis. Ah, so you're Fugo. Reis wins on actual skills. Buttons would survive on sheer energy and flukes. Flukes! Dan would survive if there's Wi-Fi. Ah, that's so good. That's our zombie apocalypse team.

I think this is the next Dark Doris doco. Yeah, it is. It would be, how do the three of us get on out in those WAPCAC conditions in the middle of nowhere? What if we do actually see one? And I did have a vision of you actually heading off in the middle of the night buttons, like sometimes you do, because you're the bravest. Quite often you'll go,

oh, I'm gonna go and have a look at it. Like I did on the Queen Mary. Yeah, like you did on the Queen Mary, there you go. Off you go, and then in the morning, I wake Dan up, you know, I've always wake him up, because I'm the first up in my military training, and I've got the fire going, and we're waiting to see what's happened with buttons.

I can't get hold of you. And then through the shrub, you appear riding the fucking moose Leading with a rope made out of vines a giant mower which I have You got a two-for-one deal Wow meanwhile I've moved in with a hermit Two for one deal. Wow. Meanwhile, I've moved in with a hermit All right guys, see you later Method acting yeah getting ready for the role. Yeah whilst we're on the topic though of

extinct animals being found One piece of news that's just come out this week is that experts have captured first ever photo of a rare creature, one thought extinct, and it's a significant milestone. And the animal is the woolly flying squirrel. Oh, cool. And I've got a photo of it here. This is a forest. This is in the rocky cliffs of the Himachchi Paradish in the state of northern India. They actually had trail cams to actually find a completely different animal, which is the snow leopard, to try and work out

the population of the snow leopard. and they accidentally caught a perfect image of a woolly flying squirrel Which they had thought was extinct the rediscovery was in the 1990s But much like the most since then they've never been seen and this is the cute little thing here Oh, wow, it's just like a possum, but it is apparently a flying squirrel. Love it And so for 70 years they thought that animal was extinct until the 1990s, where somebody saw that and they haven't been able to capture a photo of it until now. So it goes to show the moose, the moa, all of these animals that are thought to be extinct.

There is a genuine chance that they are out there just cause humans haven't laid eyes on them for a while doesn't necessarily mean you have to give up hope on them. The one thing you do have to be careful on though is taking out the habitat that these presumably extinct animals would be found in. Well, all they need to thrive and survive is to be left alone.

Yes. We're all talking about regions where humans haven't been in and they've been left alone. Yes. We're all talking about regions where humans haven't been in and you know they've been left their own devices they can actually not worry about us because we're the biggest threat on the planet. Yeah. I've got another one here the Vietnamese mouse deer. Did you hear about this one? No. So it's once considered extinct rediscovered after three decades have a look at this one oh wow how big is that that's tiny so it is tiny oh wow that'd be the best pet in the world

there he is with his tongue are you sure that's not AI now it's real god it does look does does the silverbacked cheretain, also known as the Vietnamese mouse deer, was rediscovered in Vietnam in 2019 after not being seen for nearly 30 years. Wow. The rediscovery was made using camera traps in Vietnam's coastal forests. The rediscovery was the first time a mammal on global wildlife conservationists' lists of 25 most wanted lost species was found again. Wow.

So Rees, just very quickly, drawing back to a thing you just said a second ago, which is the best thing that we can do is leave them alone because humans are the ones who are infiltrating the habitat. In which case, for the sake of our documentary, are we now making the documentary by being here and not there? Oh, this is the documentary we're in at now guys. a documentary. We're gonna go there and be in their habitat Oh, this is a dark Doris production brought to you by UFO rodeo. This is it doing it now We're respecting their space. We're respecting their need to be alone Yeah, well, I would agree but my only disagree on it is that this has to be recorded for DVD

Yes, so unless you're gonna put this on a disc back at your dark Doris, have you got the facilities? Yeah, we've got the facilities. Old mate here has just revealed in the last episode he's bought a DVD player, so he'll be excited to play it. I'd love to get a copy. I'll hide some bonus features there for you. My kids will not be interested as we established in the last episode.

One of the bonus features will be all of Reese Darby's prior DVDs hidden in a little menu that you get to. Oh wow. I love that. Bonus features are entire full length other DVDs. So that's a good bonus. That's good. That's a good bonus feature.

That's good. Exactly. Unnecessary. Well, let's, let's hear about this exciting dog that shoves people off first. No, no we gotta tease that a little bit longer because I've got yet more freaky animal news. Okay. Wow. I've got two pieces and I'm gonna be real quick with them because I know we've gotta get to the dog. But we should play this thing, animals doing weird things.

Animals doing weird things. The animals aren't weird, but the things they do are. Yeah. So this animal doing a weird thing is actually not doing anything unusual because it's what it does all the time, but it is weird because it's just not anything that I knew about anyway. And a little bit kind of gross.

Rare New Zealand snail filmed laying egg via its neck. Oh, out of its neck. I saw that the other day. Yes. It is so disturbing the thought of somebody or something laying an egg from a neck. Any other part of the body, fine. Out of the bottom of your foot, that's fine.

Out of your fingertips, eggs, plop, plop, plop. Actually okay. Next to a volcano beneath the sea, eggs. Absolutely. But out of your neck, that's not right. Yeah. Nick Minnott. Good reference. I saw a thing though the other day which is that there was a thing where women could have a third breast, technically. So like where there's a nipple that can lactate on various spots of their body and the photo

on Wikipedia or the drawing on Wikipedia had a child sucking on one boob but then another one just sucking out of the thigh of the mum because that's where the third nipple was. That's a thigh. Come on. Joke by Dan Schreiber, A.I. was joke by Dan Schreiber. Performed by Reese Darby. Anyway, a large, rare, carnivorous New Zealand snail has been filmed laying an egg from its neck for the first time. And a delightfully icky stroke of luck.

The Department of Conservation... Wait, these snails are carnivorous? Carnivorous. They eat humans. It's the next Alfred Hitchcock movie coming out. It's called The Snails. No. He died years ago. Yeah eaten by a snail apparently I don't know if you read that in the obituary but that's how he went. Very slowly very slowly suckled on. Where do they usually lay their eggs from? I don't know. Yeah, can I just reiterate this snail is all neck Okay, okay, I've got a video here do you want to watch the video of it? Yeah. Yeah Yeah, let's watch the gross video and comment on it. Here we go

Watch the video of it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, let's watch the gross video and comment on it. Here we go So that's the oh no, there's back again ooh, okay. Oh, yes Oh, there's a big coming out proper like white egg like a proper leg You'd be able to make an very small omelet from it. Where's the shell of the yeah, where's the shell? Oh, look, there's the egg. It's popped out the shells down the bottom. It's the same colour as the necky bit. Right. It's funny, because I'm like, how have they had these snails around and not knowing where the egg comes from

or at least not filmed it? Well no, but that sounds rare. That sounds like it shouldn't be coming from the neck. Or are you saying that is where they get both from? That's apparently the thing, that they have been saying that for almost two decades. And nobody's listened. Exactly.

I'm telling you, they lay eggs from the deck. No one cares. No one believes me. I'm telling you, waiting my bloody time. I've got to go hang out with Ken Townstall. This is unbelievable. Well, they say for two decades that they have had a captive population because they are trying to keep these things, they're very endangered. Yeah, because they're all watching the bloody egg come out of the nest.

They're all surrounding the nests. Hey guys, mum's about to have another one from the neck. Come on, come on, just take, oh, take your time, Brian. Jesus. Oh my God, he's eating. Who are you eating? Oh, he's a Hollywood director. Don't eat him! Oh, you're missing out here, mate. There's an egg coming out of the mum's neck again. Oh, here we go. Here, join us, mate. But that makes, like, the thing that confused me.

I was thinking, where did they lay their eggs from? They're not going to lay it in the shell. It's going to crack in the shell, right? That's a really good point. So you need an exposed bit. Ruin your house. But do you know what? These snails are quite amazing because they're to crack in the shell, right? So you need an exposed bit. Ruin your house. But do you know what? These snails are quite amazing because they're the largest in the world. They're about the size of a golf ball. They only live in New Zealand. They are thought

to live up between 25 and 35 years old. Wow. They eat mostly slugs and earthworms, which they slurp up like spaghetti. How cool is that? And they said they become sexually mature at eight years old and lay roughly only five eggs a year. Shaped like a hen's egg and they can take longer than a year to hatch each egg. So which is why they're critically endangered because like it's very long for an insect, that's a long, long, long time to become sexually mature. You know, you're gonna be taken out by a bird or some kind of animal before you even had the chance

to procreate. You've got to live for eight years and avoid being eaten by a predator before you even have an egg. And then your eggs have to stay protected for a year before they're born. That's crazy. You can see why they're having to actually

take care of them. Yeah, I can just interrupt you there. Please do. I think I'm owed an interruption. Yeah, let's go back to my article I think at the start of the show. No. Please don't.

Look, these snails are bigger than what you're thinking. Yeah, I know you said golf ball there, but they're known as the large New Zealand bush snail. The actual name is the Powelophanta snail. Oh. P-O-W-E-L-L-I-P-H-A-N-T-A. Powelophanta snail. And it's a genus of giant land snails endemic to New Zealand.

And the largest one, the Powelophanta superba can reach nine centimeters across and weigh up to 90 grams. These things are really big. That's huge. Yeah look at this picture I'm going to show you here which is going to freak you out slightly but it's real. You ready? Wow! Yeah it is literally the size of somebody's palm. The shell. And then the slug part. Yeah, going right up the arm, halfway up the forearm.

Wow. Now my nana, going back to Ruth Clark, who hasn't been mentioned on the podcast for many years, she had the shell of one of these giant snails in her house. And as a kid I used to look at it because it was literally this big. You know how you do that thing where you do the love thing with your hands and the kids do that? Yeah, the heart. Everyone do that.

Just recess. With your love heart. And just make it into a circle. Your love heart's sort of upside down. I've never seen anybody do that with their thumbs. How do you do the love hearts? I know, you went the other way. That was...

Oh, you're supposed to go this way, eh? Yeah. That's right, you're supposed to show your ass to the person that you love and then do your hands in a weird angle. No, you use your fingers. Is that how you do it? I've never done one. I'm not into it. But anyway, all I should have said was just do a circle with you. And that's how big the shell was. And I remember looking at it as a kid and thinking, that's weird. That's scary. And that's actually one of the first things that got me into the bazaar and the unknown. Really?

Oh, that shell. Yeah. Oh wow. And his big snail shell. Look at that. Can I just say, because it's just sitting in my head, buttons, you mentioned snails being insects. Oh, I did wonder that. That's not-

Are they not insects? No. As the realish information guy on this show. Realish facts! I just want to say say the gastropods Part of the mollusk family, but right it reflects worse on me I had to bring that up this far after you said it this is showing up my shitness I have to do that, but I don't think I could have fallen asleep tonight Snows are insects

Hey at least if people have listened to this podcast and they have learnt that snails are not insects, then that's something good and positive to take away. I think probably most people that listen to this podcast knew that. Well, that should be our tagline to the show. Learn things you already knew. Oh yes. You heard it here third. That's exactly what it is.

I think it already is. All right. Give us the dog. That's exactly what it is. I think it already is. All right give us the dog. Yeah we got to the dog yet I'm dying of hair. Let's end on the dog. Okay guys I'm so glad you've waited all this time for this story because honestly it's so fantastic. Walker injured in Lake District Fall tells mountain rescuers my dog pushed me. Wow. So that's about it. A guy fell down a mountain and the dog pushed him. All right, well thanks for joining us everyone. That's all for tonight. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

This is the hiker's version of a dog ate my homework. Yes, yes it is. It really is. Anyway, this man, he fell down quite a steep descent from Eagle Crag and he had said he had gone to go and lift his dog, called Benji, down a steep step, but the dog instead pushed me, sending him tumbling down the hillside. Luckily his fall was broken by a ledge, but he did suffer a bit of a gash to his head. After alerting a passing walker,

volunteers from the Keswick Mountain Rescue were called to help. And then by the time the team reached the bottom of the hill, Benji the dog had long since been forgiven. I thought you were going to say he'd been long since gone. He got on a cab and got the hell out of there and flew to Rio. Now, just to interrupt you, I'm going to show you an experiment here, live experiment, how

a dog can actually push you. I've got a dog here. I hope you. Millie. Say hello Millie. Oh there we go. Hi Millie. There she is.

So Millie is going to do our experiment with us. Okay. Show everyone how a dog can push you. Oh this is good. Okay Millie, come here, push me, push me. Oh! Oh, he's gone down a cliff! Guys, call the rescue!

Reece has gone down by a dog! How was that? That was really good. Convincing. That was really, really good, yeah. And for the audio listeners, a dog just pushed Reece literally out of frame. It was remarkable. Well done, Millie.

Well done, that's your first time on the podcast. Come on. Great cameo. There she is. Hello puppy. Good girl. You pushed daddy in a podcast. Oh, it's got weird. Reese is making out with Millie.

Oh dear you, she's my daughter. That is so good. Well, see, that's the thing. I knew that article, although being quite a weak article, I had a real deep sense that it would lead to something quite profound and amazing. And that was, I think, probably the first ever dog human example and reenactment on a podcast. Yeah. And it won't be the last. No, it's a new segment I'm bringing in where Mellie and

I reenact something that happens in one of the stories. No, it's a new segment. I'm bringing in where Millie and I reenact something that happens in one of the stories Oh, that's great. Brilliant. Yeah all the more reason to join patreon everyone Yes, these videos. Yeah, a very visual segment. Yeah, Billy's reenactment We'll come up with a sting if we do it again unless Millie starts reenacting laying eggs from her neck laying eggs from her neck. You can properly do that. I'd have to work on it. Yeah, work on that one for next time. Bit tricky.

Wow, what a show. Oh, lots of animals. Thank you so much for listening guys. Sorry, can I, sorry. What was the story in the end? A guy got shoved down a hill. By a dog. And by the time he got to the bottom he had forgiven the dog is that it yeah was it just me or was the story so boring i switched

off completely it was guys it was come on you know and he runs out of energy and he's just literally trying to string sentences together and he's the rope bridge from Indiana Jones, but it's completely broken. And he's just dangling off it, thudding up against the broken cliff edge. And we're at the top going, I'm not interested. I'm not, just drop away. Drop away. Guys, stick with me.

Stick with me. Stick with me now. Go on, it's animals doing weird things. So what did happen? He accidentally pushed him off. Yeah, the dog pushed him down the cliff and he said the rescuers went to him and said what happened? How did you fall down the cliff? And he said it was the dog, the dog pushed me. Cool.

And then what did the dog do after that? Well, he was forgiven. And that was it, he was forgiven. He was forgiven. Yeah. But this is what I'm saying, we have to be careful because this again in an Alfred Hitchcock way The snails are taking over like Alfred Hitchcock the dogs and the dogs might be out now trying to kill us So the dogs yeah, that's one movie. No one will watch Okay now listen, yeah, do we have time for a quick

our end. Okay now listen, do we have time for a quick cryptid story? Yeah, absolutely. Alright let's end on this gang. Bigfoot, father and son encounter in Monroe country, Michigan. Alright this one's just come out. Has it? Yep. Oh nice, this is exciting. So this creature was sighted on May 18th and was described as the size of a beer with gorilla-like features. According to a report submitted to the Bigfoot Field Researches Organization, BFRO, which we quite often bring up in the show, the encounter began at around 11.30am when their dog became scared by something. Oh, there's your dog. I might actually do a reenactment of this one. something. Oh, there's your dog. Might actually do a reenactment of this one. If she's busy.

Trees were shaking the father wrote. Oh, he's written this. I thought it was the father said, but he wrote it. Trees were shaking. We thought it was a group of deer. Okay, so I love that. Quite a good visual. Things seemed normal again for a while until a sudden noise attracted their attention. I heard rustling in a tree to the left and a huge thud hitting the ground from the tree. He wrote, I can't specify enough that he's written all this, a big heavy animal hit the ground and crouched. Oh my god, it was in the tree. This is weird. Crouched and started to move towards me through the brush. My dog fired off from the right of me toward the creature. So that's sort of misleading. Makes me

feel like the dog's got a gun. The dog almost got to it, but the creature took off extremely fast through the trees and brush. The dog chased the creature up the slope and over the train tracks. Oh, it's train tracks now. I then called for my dog to come back. My son said, what was that? It was as big as a bear, but it looked like a gorilla. We walked back, but we heard something crunching on the ground behind us. We'd left. When BFFO investigator later followed up on the story with the two witnesses,

they explained that the creature that stood upright with a hunched posture, it was around six foot tall and covered in hair. If it had been standing upright it would have likely been even taller than that. what it was. However remains unclear Classic ending. Yep. So there it is. So that's just a recent sighting and it's good to know they didn't have photos So it's more believable or believable. Yeah, those were that writing. I wouldn't believe it. Yeah Actually believe that I mean, I think you could be right here. This is the new belief system for cryptozoology. It used to be blurry photos. Now it's no photos.

No photos. Yeah. So we've digressed further to extend our belief stronger. Yeah. So the next step will be no eyewitness. No eyewitness. We'll go. We'll just be nothing.

It'll be nothing. Crypto news will be, what have you got? Nothing. Well, that sounds plausible. That's actually the most plausible thing that we've got so far. That's why we went silent for two months, guys, because we wanted to remind you that that was a very hot and heavy period of very believable circumstances. Yeah. Yeah. I have said this before when we've talked about Ken Tunston in previous episodes, but it's that fascinating thing that he says that if he does ever see the moose, he won't ruin the moment by taking a photo. Oh, I love that. Won't ruin the moment by getting the evidence.

He's just going to soak it up. Cause it's not about proving it to the world. It's about him and his journey. And I think that is to be admired. And we're now going to believe him more. If he comes back and says, I saw it and doesn't have a photo, I'm going to believe it more because he's been searching for what? 30, 40 years.

Yeah. Yeah. And if he wanted to fake having seen it, he would have faked it by now. Yeah, exactly. So he comes back and says, I saw it. I'm satiated. And he stops looking. You'd know. Well, he's definitely seen it he would have faked it by now. Yeah exactly he doesn't need to. So if he comes back and says I saw it I'm satiated and he stops looking you'd know well he's definitely seen it it's definitely there. Hey one last note on dogs yeah just on the way out and this is the mailbag section. Oh have we got a mailbag section we need a mailbag sting. We have now let's do it. Okay go. Okay. Hey you guys, I got some mail here for you. Oh, that's a first.

Yeah, that's the best I can come up with. It's getting late. Okay, the very last thing we got, actual fan mail from two dogs. No. Yeah. Really? From Peach and Orion. And these two dogs are sled dogs from Alaska, from the very, very remote parts of Alaska. It says here, more Millie content, more Millie.

More reenactments. Yeah. It says, we're a couple of very enthusiastic huskies, with a little help from our humans, raising funds for environmental education. So these two Huskies have written to us to give some funds for their fundraising cause for the education of the outdoors. And so I'm happy to say we've sent them some Patreon money for their fundraising.

Ah, cool. Nice. I mean, you didn't prove that through me and Reece, so we got that from your funds. But whereabouts is the organization? Because I might actually go and get that money back. Are they in Alaska? Alaska, northern Alaska.

Get this, the email actually came in from Jemena, one of Peach and Orion's owners. And it came into the UFO rodeo email address. So it's just. Why didn't they just email Helena? Yeah. Exactly. Like everyone else does.

Why complicate things? Exactly. But listen to this. They say, we live in a remote part of Arctic Alaska where a quick grocery run means a 12 hour road trip. And one of the best parts of the trip, listening to the cryptid factor. Oh, 12 hours of-

That is awesome. Well, I tell you what, it's really good to hear. It's a nice note to end on. And it's that kind of thing that we have to keep remembering is that we do make people smile. And a lot of people have got these journeys and these things they have to do. And if I can just be in their ears with our silliness, our chaotic joy, our realish facts, and even our unnecessary tangents, then that makes us feel like we're doing the right thing and we shall keep on keeping on.

Wow. Yay. But seriously, find out their dress because I will need to get that in the back. All right, on that note. Goodbye. Bye bye. Bye bye.

Bye. The Oh, thank God I've got the detachable legs.