The Cryptid Factor - #109 The Heavy Lifting Issue

Episode Date: July 6, 2025

With Rhys exhausted from his seemingly endless UK standup tour - Buttons and Dan gallantly decide to do the heavy lifting this episode, and although a wonderful offer, it's not long before the weight becomes too much to bear... for us all!In issue you’ll find giant courting caves, dead dog clouds (and pizza), endangered hotel wake up calls, black icebergs complete with lazy code, an old man walks with lions, revenge of the birds... and stinky skin rust. Naturally. Enjoy the weight Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Cryptid Factor with Rhys Darby, Dan Schreiber and Buttons! The year is halfway through, but what else can we do? To live, to explore, to strive, to wait for Cryptid Vector Live. August 5th to 10, we'll be back again! Edinburgh Fringe! Woohoo! Oh, ads in the intro again. Edinburgh Fringe. Oh, ads in the intro now. I love it. Yeah, that's a new one.

That's all we had to do this episode, guys, was promote the show. So I guess that's it. That's it. I just said, make sure you advertise the show. And I says, look, it's my night off. OK, I'm on tour. So he said, we'll just get the air out straight away I'm coasting

So we getting coasting Derby yeah, I'll be coasting tonight guys Wow, that's okay. We'll do all the heavy lifting Don't you worry you can just sit back you relax my friends watch Dan and I at work thank you yeah where are you Reese it's your night off but where are you I'm in are you making a think already that's one of the hardest things he's gonna have to answer the side is he started talking he doesn't know where he is he's been on to take me about two seconds actually to recall where I'm from. Tell from my speech, for those of you that don't know, I've been on tour for the last four weeks here. Two weeks prior to that I had a little break and then four weeks prior to that I was doing all of Australia. So yeah, buggered? Absolutely. How many hotel rooms have I been in? God knows how many.

Do I know which hotel room number I'm in? No, it's always the one before or three before I have to go to reception. I actually take photographs of my door. That's a good idea. That's amazing. You have to. I would love one day for you to release

a series of photos of just door numbers. Yeah, I could. I should, I should. Well, of just door numbers. Yeah, yeah. I should, I should. Well, I saw the show in London, finally. Oh yeah. And it was just, there's no one else doing anything like that. It's so unique. It's so good. If anyone who is in the UK is not seeing it yet, you've got to see it.

It's just unlike anything you'll see. Oh, thank you. It's killer. And it was really fun because I went to a pub beforehand, bumped into a bunch of Kryptonites. Oh, thank you. It's killer. And it was really fun because I went to a pub beforehand, bundled into a bunch of Kryptonites. Oh, really? I just completely forgot that the area would be like, surrounded by wonderful Kryptonites. Buzzing, buzzing.

Yeah, so I got to say hi to a bunch of them. Got a bit of feedback on my recent content that I've been providing to the show. Oh, really? Yeah. Like, what sort of feedback? Well, I was sort of, you know, having a chat and I was talking about, you know, my golden moments. Yeah.

Sort of saying golden moments, you know. I'm the one who says memorable stuff. That's right. And they couldn't remember any of it? Well no. Then someone said, oh what, like the cuppa, cappa, cuppa tea, cappuccino thing. So golden moment. I was like, what?

Why am I getting hackled on my way to Reese's show? I was like, that was useful information. They're like, no one needed to hear that. No, no, no. So, it was a good night, but I did get a bit of flack. Oh, a little gentle ribbing, that's because they love you. It's like your sibling's going, yeah, come on, man. That's true. When's the next big Shriver reveal happening?

Speaking of Shriver reveals, the other thing that happened to me recently which was wonderful was the film that would just produce Prime Minister about Jacinda Ardern had its premiere in Australia at the Sydney Film Festival. Please tell us how that went. Well it went amazingly I was up on stage with my wonderful wife Michelle and side by side. But more importantly, six, none less than six of Dan's family all turned up to the premiere and came out for a drink afterwards, including Dan's 80 year old grandfather, Bill. Big shout out to him.

He's 93, but yeah. 93. Oh, even more. Well, out to him. He's 93 but yeah. 93. He looks 80. He seriously looks 80. And obviously his beautiful mum and dad, but also Dean and Patina. I finally got to meet Dean and Patina from the huge big tribe reveal of the haunted hotel. The huge reveal. Yes. Where a glass raised up and exploded in the air in the middle of this haunted hotel. And they are wonderful people.

But they did confirm for me, Dean put his hand on his heart and I said, I swear that whole episode of the exploding glass 100% legit happened. And he said, they still can't explain it to this day. And the glass glass 100% legit happened. Wow. And he said they still can't explain it to this day. And the glass was all fused together. He went through it all. Is this one of those situations where you go, hey, hey, did this actually happen? Is this coming from you?

Because I can just see you. I can just see you. I was so high just trying to catch Dan out or something. Yeah. It's one of the greatest Dan Schreiber reveals out there and I'm like I still can't fathom it. He got to be a part of a poltergeist experience. I'm just jealous. You didn't interview him did you? No. Sometimes he gets his phone out and just starts recording. Oh yeah.

That's true. I should have done a quick interview. Damn it. Listen mate, that's true. I should have done a quick interview. Damn it. Listen, I'm 93 But I did get a message from Dean saying I did have a chat with buttons about setting up Airbnb and beast Oh, yeah, looks like we're getting close. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I pitched him a bunch of great ideas and he reiterated how into it He is he's definitely keen. So watch this space guys. Yeah Yes at Dobbs just to quickly bring it back to Bristol for a second how into it he is, he's definitely keen. So watch this space guys. Yeah. Yes. At Dobbs, just to quickly bring it back to Bristol for a second, I was looking through Instagram today

when I came across a story and you were very much underground in a cave and I couldn't hear what was going on. Yeah. Yeah. I saw that too. What was that about? What's going on there? I should reveal that. I actually went on a little bit of a surprise expedition today into a deep, dark cave and it was to find the entrance to the Giants cave, which is

here in Bristol. What? Yes. Wow. What is that? I've got some information here on it actually. Let's have a look. I thought this might happen. You might inquire about this. You guys talk amongst yourselves while i find it oh okay okay god dubs is a bit low energy today how's this heavy lifting going through bro i'm exhausted i'm trying to get

anything out of him the guy's like a rock tonight he's just not i know i'm so tired oh god taking photos of my door Oh god, I'm taking photos of my door. Okay, so guys, I attended the place which is basically right next to, it's kind of part of the Clifton Observatory. Okay. I didn't actually go into the observatory, but the building that is adjacent to it is called Giant's Cave. Step into the home of the giants. Let me read this. The giant's cave, sometimes

known as Geeston's cave or the foxhole, is a natural cave in the limestone face of St. Vincent's rocks in the Avon Gorge. For centuries, it was only accessible from the top of the steep sided gorge. It can now be approached from the inside of Clifton Observatory so what I'm trying to get at is that I wasn't actually in the observatory I was in the bit around the corner where they have the the camera obscura piece in this tower are you guys familiar with the camera obscura yeah I did one in Edinburgh those are cool those things aren't they yeah we could do that on the fifth to

the 10th when we're there in Edinburgh on stage live with a McPerron production of the Cryptofactor live on stage. That's awesome, man. So St Vincent's Cave is also known as the Giants Cave. Why is it a Giants cave when it looked tiny? It like hit your head walking into it. How can there be a giant in there? Basically to explain the Giants, there's a bit of a folklore around that.

It's a legend. It relates to two local giants, Gorham and Vincent, who according to one version were brothers, they fancy the same woman, a beautiful giant herself. She was called a Vona, which is Latin for Avon, which is named after the river. She was open-minded about her suitors. She had to choose between these two. It's good to remain open-minded about these things.

She offered herself to whichever of them could drain the lake which supposedly once occupied the space between Bradford on Avon and Bristol. They chose different routes to drain it through the limestone hills for their drainage channels so Gorham opted for a route through Henbury and Vincent chose one on the south side of Clifton. Unfortunately for Gorham, he overheated while he worked on his drainage system, drank a giant quantity of ale and fell asleep in his favorite stone chair, whilst Vincent placed himself better and completed his channel. So Gorham, the story goes, is that he failed and so he lives in the cave.

Okay, so that's who you were going to see. I've got to say, one of them definitely got shortchanged when they were handing out the giant names, didn't they? I'm Gorham! And I'm Vincent! Like that's... Yeah! That is not a classic scary joke. No.

But also, who is this Avonoa or whatever? Avona. I mean, what a courting task is that? It's not like, okay, who can make me the nicest bouquet of flowers and then I might go on a date. It's like, go drain that lake. Come on. I think she didn't fancy either of them. And she just made them go and do a heap of work to keep them occupied. And there's a lesson in that.

She's genius. When you meet a girl and you fancy her and in part of the courting sessions, she wants you to do something to prove your love or whatever. And if it's a really laborious task or something that's going to take a long time or seems really impossible, I think the hint is there that she wants nothing to do with you. Well, that's a really concerning thing because as you were talking about that, I was like, yep, that's still my relationship with Michelle after 25 years. It's like, if you just build these stables, just build me some horse stables, then

Dan might go on a date with you. It might do. Just see how you go. It's never ending, the tasks. But it shows how much love you have for that person because you will still do it. You'll work your butt off for years. And for all you know, she's off with some other dude. I know, I know, I know. And you're still digging your rock. No, I'm gonna drain the lake. She'll love me then.

Yeah, draining your lakes. But anyway, thanks for getting me into having to explain all of that. I've been looking at it. I knew as soon as I put those videos up on Instagram that someone like Dan would go, Oh, tell us about your cave journey. And I thought, oh God, I'm gonna have to look at it. That's your own fault. You should have put it up tomorrow.

Yes. What a fool. What a fool. What a fool. I thought before we get into the show proper, I've just got three quick small announcements to make. Okay. One is I recently went to France with my family

and we experienced something that is definitely a very cryptid factory type moment. Very sadly, while we were out there, the family dog of my in-laws, Benji, passed away while we were on holiday. And this is the first time that the boys, Wilf and Ted, particularly, Kit's a bit too young. But Benji's been there their whole lives and we had to sit down and sort of explain Benji's, and try and get their heads around it. And we were sitting on a beach in the south of France and we were talking about it. And Ted said, Ted's five daddy, I'm really upset about Benji.

Where's he gone? What's happened? And Wilf, who's seven said, well, Benji's now gone into heaven to doggy heaven. He's probably flying up there right now. And Ted said, well, how will we know he got there? And Will said, he'll probably send us a message, like in the clouds or something. And Ted went, oh, okay. Oh yeah, he has look over there.

And we all looked and we thought I was going to be ridiculous. There was a cloud that was literally Benji in the sky in that moment, and I took a photo of it. Look at- Oh my god. It's literally a dog leaping. It is too. You can see the head with the ears and the two legs out front. Oh my.

That's amazing. The photo doesn't quite sell it as much as it did on the day. Wow. But it was absolutely a dog. Yeah. And so we messaged my in-laws to say what happened and that kind of touched them because they were very upset over the fact that their dog had passed away. And then we went out for pizza that night, like a few hours later, and Wilf suddenly said,

Daddy, Benji's back with another sign because the pizza that had arrived In the shape of a dog head Obviously have fun with their pizzas for kids, but it came as a dog's head and he's going Benji's back! Tell Granny and Popsie! And we were like, we might send that one tomorrow. I feel like that one's got less than that. Oh, that's great. But what a remarkable moment where my son, like, was told that he's going to be going into heaven and literally in that second saw...

That's amazing. ...it's a perfect moment. It was wonderful. It's lazy code, right? It was lazy code. It's that lazy code. It's almost proof that we're living in the Matrix and that it's like, what should we do with the cloud formations?

Oh some little kid wants a cloud of dog. Okay make that yeah, they've just mentioned this is what happens So we better sort that out. Yeah, do that If you want to see a picture that go to our patreon and watch the video, so it's it's pretty cool Yeah, and then so number two that I'm bringing to the table is I picked this up today Which is the Edinburgh Fringe Guide. Yes. And there we are sitting inside the Edinburgh Fringe Guide. Excellent.

Yeah, you can see that there. That's it. It's official. It's official. We are in it. The great thing is, is that now we can play the outro theme and wrap up this podcast. I mean, we've got a great giant story, something about a camera obscura. That was the same story. Yeah. Well, I got one more thing, which is a really excitingly. The cryptid factor was featured on BBC Radio recently.

What? And I have an extract for us all to hear. Oh, wow. And this is big. This is a BBC breakfast radio show. It gets lots and lots of listeners. So let us hear what the world or at least Britain got to hear about the cryptid factor. Here we go. Also, I just wanted to give a quick mention to your podcast, The Cryptid Factor, with our great friend Dan Shriver and Leon Kirkbeck. Just very briefly tell us what on earth you are looking for in each episode. Well, we're looking for laughter, mainly. You got that from me.

Yeah, and we sort of get together and it's really just the gang kind of, we live in separate places, one's in England, one's in New Zealand and I'm in LA, and we get together as often as we can, not every week, but sometimes, hopefully that's the plan, and we do a rundown on the weekly world weird news. And it's on the lighter side of things, it's bizarre stuff, like people being attacked by like a guy who tried to make a beard out of bees and then they ended up always my example um things like that and also we are on the search the only one that's stick creatures you know yes monster sasquatch and the japanese thing that was really weird that i heard i can't remember the name began with a k sound anyway go listen to the

yes uh cuppa cuppa that's it thank you reese, for now. You can catch Rhys on his The Legend Returns Tour throughout June across the UK and Ireland and he'll be doing Edinburgh in August. Fancy a cuppa? Maybe not one of those. That's how Dan Schreiber on the podcast says to pronounce it because it looks like cappa but that would be cappuccino. You've got to think of cuppa tea. Cuppa. Golden moments, guys! Memorable moments! because it looks like kappa but that would be cappuccino you've got to think of kappa tea golden moments guys memorable moment it's the most memorable moment of all time golden moments is what i bring to the table i'm telling you amazing the bbc did you feed them that line

before reese went into that interview that That is ridiculous. You're really cementing that memorable moment into the BBC. You see that's official. That's official that I provide golden moments now. And that's Nikki Beattie, by the way, who is one of the most awesome BBC presenters out there. She is wonderful. Yeah. So anyway, that's a big show. Yeah. Well, I believe our numbers are looking good. I think we've pushed that enough this episode We have to get into the nitty-gritty with everyone's favorite segment. It's weekly world we're new Freaky watch out. All right, what do we got this week guys? Oh, I've got something really quite exciting

Oh, do you hotel in China? charges Oh dear. Hotel in China charges 24,000 rubles, or RS is whatever they are, for a wake up call service from a very strange thing. I'm gonna reveal it later. Should I try that again? I'll try that headline again. I'm smelling a fish here.

Something about the way he delivered that, because he's still not great, is he? Oh, no, no, no. Hang on. I'll try again. Hotel in China charges lots of money. It was over rehearsed, wasn't it? You can tell. I was trying my hardest.

You got up early and he did this. He probably had his wife there too. I did. Come on, do it to me. You're not good enough for the guys. They can tell. Hold your face nicely and make out like it's real. I'm too busy building horse stables to practice my news.

I can't do it all at once. And when you've done this, go out and build me another stable. Give you a little cuddle if you're lucky. Okay. No hotel in China charges $24,000 for a wake up call from a special wake up-erer. Oh, that's exciting. Is that better? That's exciting.

Special wake up-erer. Oh, that's exciting. Is that better? Special wake-up-er-er. Okay, I like that. Yeah. I got one. Mysterious black iceberg spotted and no one is quite sure what it is. Oh. Black iceberg.

Black, like just entirely black. Right. Well, I've got a couple here. One I will mention because there's a good call back to something you have done recently, Dan. Okay. Proud of worshipers stunned as a bizarre image appears in the clouds. Oh, hello. That's interesting.

I wasn't going to do this, but when I saw it, I thought, Oh, I've got to do this. And then when Dan set me up with that doggy in the clouds story, I thought, well, I'm going to have to do it. It's meant to be lazy code. That's Dan doing the heavy lifting again. He's just, you know, setting you up so well. Yeah.

Just like he did with the cave story. Forcing your card. I will admit this is one I didn't want to do. It's not great. You go first, buttons. Okay. I'm very excited by this one. When I found it, I've just loved it.

Okay. A Chinese hotel has been murdered in a controversy after using endangered red pandas to wake up guests in the morning. Oh wow. Red pandas? Red pandas as a wake up call in your hotel room. How? Well, this is how. Put one in your room?

Yeah, exactly. They're much smaller, right? Just while we get the image in our head. They're not. Oh yeah, the red panda. Very cute little animal. The little thing. Yeah, that. They're much smaller, right? Just while we get the image in our head. They're not. Oh yeah, the red panda, very cute little animal. The little thing, yeah, that's right. Probably more the size of like a large possum or something like that, I would say.

Yeah, it reminds me of a ring-tailed lemur. There you go. Quite possumish, but cute. Obviously beautiful, beautiful fur. Unfortunately, that's one of the reasons why they're endangered, is because people really like their fur. And they're endemic of the reasons why they're endangered is because people really like their fur.

And they're endemic, aren't they? To China? Yes, yes, they're endemic to China, but they're also in the Himalayas, eastern Himalayas. Okay. But anyway, the Lihi Lidu Holiday Hotel located in the countryside, advertised the red panda themed holidays, which included bringing the endangered species into guest room for a wake-up call. The rooms with the special service were priced around 24 000 rupees per night and apparently the rooms are in high demand. The Red Pandas which are borrowed from a zoo are kept on site and take turns participating in the wake up call room visits, which is at 9.30am.

You're not awake by 9.30am. It's a bit lazy, isn't it? Hey, steady on mate. Look, when I'm on tour, I like to get as much sleep in as I can. Yeah, okay. I need the red panda wake up. Exactly. What I want to know is how is it instigated? So a staff member leads one red panda into guest rooms, roams freely and sometimes climbs onto the bed. Nice. Wow. It's not right though is it? No, it's not right. Here's what's wrong. So basically someone from the hotel is just having full access to just opening your door, which we know they can do

anyway. But you know, 30 or 928 or whenever it is, he's probably waiting out there with the with the thing. And what looking at his watch can't go in before 930 and the little things get just white white white here we go. And then he goes, and the door opens slightly open. They go in, you go, you know, and you're probably up at bloody quarter two or something. You're in the shower.

Next thing you know, there's a red panda jumping around the bathroom. You've forgotten all about it because you got into the hotel late and they went, oh, do you want a red panda wake up? You went, oh, I don't know. That is here. Whatever, mate. 9 in the morning, there's a bloody crazy looking fluffy mammal

jumping around and lands on your head in the shower. And you step over and have a heart attack and die. The last thing you see is the eyeballs of a red panda that's licking your face. That sounds like a lovely way to go. I'd actually pay for that as an exit strategy. Do you want death by red panda? We're just checking because you've checked in.

Um, what time are you going to have your shower? And do you mind putting some peanut butter on your face just before you hop in the shower? That could really help the process. It'll speed it up. How much was it, Buttins, did you say? 24,000 rupees. Okay, so that is, according to Google, 205 pounds.

Oh, that's cheap. Yeah. I'd pay that all day long. No, I wouldn't. They're endangered. I wouldn't want that. I wouldn't want that. No.

But the last sentence of this article, it says, guests are allowed to interact with it. The visits usually last a few minutes, depending on the red panda's mood that day, says the hotel. A few minutes. What they haven't said is what mood is it turning to? Like-

Yeah, I know. Angry. If it's angry. You only want it to stay for a few minutes Yeah, just close your face off. Yeah. Yeah, if it's angry and just having a fit and it's like no you ordered it Yeah there until it's well done. Thank you very much pissed off because you kept smacking it like a snooze button after the fifth one There should be different animals to kind of a wake up you want. Mm-hmm You want to sleep in you should be able to order the sloth.

It just comes in really slowly, you know, in like 10 minutes after it's gone into the room. It's already over to the food. Yeah, but honestly, I've got to be up at 4am. I'm going to miss the flight. Yes, I'll have the cobra, thank you. Yeah, I'll take it. Cobra, thank you. The good news is that officials have gone in now, they've figured it out and they are going in to shut it down, or they've at least done a cease and desist on them and the Chinese government are actually coming down hard on them.

You can't get it anymore. Yeah. It's bizarre that in this day and age, that sort of stuff still goes on. Right. It's crazy. Yeah. It's cruelty to animals and needs to be shut down at all costs. Yeah, definitely. But I'm a strong believer in the, in the Cobra wake up. Yeah, totally. Or just, you know, it's going to drop out of the ceiling. Like there's one in a cage and you can see a timer and you're

just watching it all night and it's just writhing around in this cage you know is just gonna open up no because you're not gonna sleep seeing it in the cage up there are you yeah why would you stay in the bed why would you stay up all night going no but you just see it just get out of the bed I see it. Get out of the bed. No, but it's like a zoo, right? You can watch the thing and enjoy it, but you know, at 930, it's going to drop open and just have free reign of the, or a bunch of scorpions.

But I think for the animals' benefit, to be good for the animals, I think you should set up a hotel that is in the animals' habitat, so that you have to sleep in the cobras den. Yeah. Oh, wow. It's not the other way around.

That's a whole new twist. You go down into the forest area with a small blanket, you get a glass of water and they take you through with a lantern at night. Yes. They go, here you are, there's cobras around here. So they will wake you in the morning. Well, this is a good little side hustle for zoos. If zoos make little sleeping pods, then the door is just going to automatically fling open to the lion's den at checkout time. So to get you checked out so the maids can come and make up the room.

The zoos aren't doing well. They've opened up a hotel situation that's part of it now as well so you can actually stay in the enclosures with the animals. So depending on how fast you've got to get up and what your business is you could have your lyre enclosure, your orangutan, if you're really just in and out I'd go for the tiger. But if you want a decent sleep, sleep with the the and the reptile of the Auckland Zoo which by the way has got no reptiles in it. Wow this is a good thing this is Airbnb extreme edition once you've done all the

normal Airbnb's yeah this is the next level that you go to they're gonna put this in the pitch to Dean and Patina. Yeah. Did you guys see? This is insane. I completely forgot this happened in the news, but did you see the footage of the old man who was walking his dog in a zoo and just went into a lion enclosure? What? No. How do you do that?

Yeah. This was all over the news in the UK. Hang on. Let me share a screen here. Oh my God. You've got to pull that out. Yeah. So this is a video that people should look up online.

It's a pensioner just walks in to a- What? That's crazy. How did he get in there? Did he have to climb a fence or- Well let's see. Literally got a tiny little cute puppy dog on a leaf. Everyone looks confused in that.

All the animals look absolutely okay with it. No one's stressing out. No one's angry. This dude, this old dude, he probably thinks he's standing next to three dogs. Dog as well. He's just chilled. This dog walking park is just too crowded these days. All these people bring these dogs in and they don't keep them on their leaves.

Yeah. Where's the owners of these big dogs? Does he have any idea that those are three massive lions that are there? Yeah. They're lions, yeah, they had no intention of harming. They were very bewildered. I think they were very like just looking at the dog, weren't they, going, what is that thing? What the hell is that?

Well, do you know what it could be? The lions could have been confused by the old man scent that he probably had. You know how old people have a certain old people's smell? Right. See this is great because this was going to be my other news article and Dan is just again set up for a fantastic little- I'm setting up all the B stories that no one wanted to say. Yeah so what is it? My other new story that you guys were saved from, well, you thought you were saved from, is why old people's smell happens and the superfood you can eat to prevent it. And they've figured out that there's an actual noxidization that happens because your cells don't regenerate as quickly.

Right. And therefore you end up with this old person smell. You know, you kind of go see your grandma, you go, oh, grandma's got that smell or granddad's got that smell. Yeah, what is that? It is an actual thing. It's because your skin ends up covered with basically like a rust, like a skin rust.

And you can't wash it away, just like you can if you've got a rusty car and you wash the car, the rust doesn't come off. Wow. And you can't mask it with deodorant or with perfume because it just sits on top of that and actually sort of adds to the smell. So you're saying I should stop putting roll-on deodorant onto my car? Yeah. It's not doing anything right. It's basically what I'm saying and the super food that can be eaten to help is mushrooms.

No. Mushrooms are packed with amino acids and powerful antioxidant and anti-inflammatory properties that stops the lipid peroxidization, which causes the odor. Why am I not surprised I'm hearing this news from you, the human mushroom? Ha ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha. I was just setting it up for Dan. Ha ha ha ha. I'm hearing this news from you the human mushroom I was just hitting it up for Dan Dan? Sorry, I didn't realise what you were setting me up for And it's too late now, I missed it God! You've got no glass of wine and no chapitre Well, it's just Reese. There's a thing that they like to say about our friend Buttons Oh He's a thing that they like to say about our friend buttons. Oh, he's a fun guy

Classic patreon moment or a CPM There's a lot of CPMs coming through on this app. And of course, once you get onto Patreon, you've got the back catalog of all the apps and all the CPMs that come through with those videos. Boy, oh boy. If I had the code, I'd be watching them. And also, the other thing that you get is Reese and I had a big lazy code day and we filmed a little video, didn't we Reese? That's right. We love making those little videos.

Riveting. In the UK recently. Yeah. Yeah. Whilst I was on this tour. Oh, very cool. I've had catch-ups with both of you guys whilst I've been on tour, separately. Yeah. Very brief one with Dan and two and a half days with the old mate. Couldn't get rid of them.

Which equated to about the same amount of value as a quick catch up with Dan. Yeah. It was less CPMs. I don't know, my experience, we saw Reece's show, it finished and we got given these very special silver bands and a group of us met up afterwards and they were like, we're going to take you to the VIP bar. What? That's right.

No. We were like, here we go, Hollywood has set up the old VIP bar. Yes, I did. Yeah, we get taken through a door which literally is like a submarine door, they winched open with a wheel, and we went inside, and we were in the bar, and... it was shut. We were just sitting in a shut bar, waiting for Reece, Reece eventually comes out. I came downstairs, that was the downstairs. That was the highlight. That was the highlight.

So they gave us an exclusive VIP bar at the Shepherd's Bush for, you know, hobnobbing. But they didn't give us a bartender. And then Steve brought down one of his old tequila bottles that was like a quarter left. And then no one was really interested. So just in contrast, Reese, do you want to just recount the night that we had after I came to your show at Ali Peli? Oh yes. So Buttons really wanted to prove his worth as he often does, you know. I built Reece Stables. Just wanted to really know if he really loved me so I built Reece Stables. I just wanted to really know if he really loved me, so I built him some stables. Exactly.

And so we were in the Alley Pallie, fantastic venue, great gig. And then he decided, well, let's go somewhere afterwards for drinks. And he started Googling to find out where the coolest hip bar was. Not even in the local vicinity, like somewhere that was definitely almost 45 minute drive. You've got to travel to get good stuff. You can't just expect it to be on your doorstep. Yeah. And of course, I think in his mind, we'd all be in the back of some big limo anyway, and having a few champagnes on the way there, of course.

Hollywood. You know, what's going on in his head doesn't quite match up to the reality. Hollywood. You know, what's going on in his head doesn't quite match up to the reality. So we end up driving to this place and it's called the Yellow Door. So it was cool. It looked on the internet pictures that it was going to be cool. Here's the crux of it. It is actually a townhouse and you go in and it's absolutely jam packed with people and there's bars inside there

and it's three stories and you go downstairs and whatnot and there was a queue of people trying to get in like 70 people and we got there and then you know buttons go straight to the lady on the door oh I'm here with celebrity Reece Darby. No, I called ahead and let them know that we were coming, you know, so I was like, we're here now. And they ushered us straight in, didn't they? Wow. Yeah, we did get straight in. I had a brief look at the clientele and it wasn't until I really definitely got inside with buttons and a couple of others that everyone else in there was in their 20s. So it was definitely the hip place to be. In our mind we're in our 20s.

We walk in and everybody's like what's that smell? Smells like flesh rust. Oh, rusty, rusty flesh. Old flesh rust and blue strathos are here, guys. And we immediately felt like we were everybody's dads. Yeah. Everyone looked at us as though, oh, no, a couple of dads have come to collect some people. So we lined up to get a drink because we got in there. We didn't want to just go in and realize it wasn't for us. I swerved past a few people to go downstairs and have a look.

What was down there was even worse. It was absolutely dark. There was no room to even move. The music was really loud everywhere. I mean, you could barely have a conversation, could do nothing, but we're stuck there. We had to wait for our second group to arrive. So by the time our next group got there, we're like, you have to come in and experience this even just for five minutes, because, you know, there's nothing like it.

And then Steve came in and said, yeah, this is nothing. I don't like it. Out of the two, what would you prefer an empty bartenderless bar or one that is reamed full of people where you can't even really squeeze in. I mean I've got to say I think I would prefer the tequila in an empty bar that sounds like a way better way to spend an evening. I was trying to show off that we had this big raucous night and it was really painful. I think they should do the same thing but they should do one for our age. More relaxed, no loud music, just play board games. Serving plates of mushrooms.

He didn't help you with that weird odour you've got mate. You want a bowl of mushrooms? You should be eating a lot of these. When they say, I was on mushrooms all night. You were tripping were you? No, no, I was just trying to smell. Smell me, smell me. Oh wow, you smell young. You've been on the mushies. I came up with a new concept today, which is so relevant to what we're talking about. I still have friends who, if I'm out with them, they like to go to raves. And if I'm out, I have to go. But as you guys probably know, I never travel anywhere without a book, right? And I'm sort of famous in my circle as if I'm at a rave, I'll be in the corner reading a book at the rave. Ha ha ha! And I've noticed now that I'm in my 40s, that's not as uncommon.

You know, they're stuck with their group of friends. I don't really want to be here. So I'm attempting to launch late night rave book club whereby each venue, if you know that it's in your kind of like wheelhouse of where you might end up on a Saturday night, everyone reads the same book and book club starts at 2am and we all meet up in the chill out room. And while our friends are partying, we just sit and chat about whatever it is we're reading Jane Austen whatever it is I'm gonna see whether or not there's legs to a book club yeah rave books yeah rave reviews rave reviews what do you remember like what we were doing the info techno boom remember that one what was that it was like adding sort of information into dance music. In between the dancing.

Let's do one now, ready? Zz-boop. Be-oom-boom-wop-wop. Bop-bap-dow. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do- Bokashan, de, do, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, lifting! So much easier for you, isn't it, Tombs? It's great! I love that you were so dedicated. You went on so long there, like you were going in your head, Oh, they'll jump in any second now. Yeah, I will! You were like two verses.

Let's let Helena do the heavy lifting on that, and get her to put that track on again now. You guys do some info over the top of it. Yeah. Eat more mushrooms. Man walks into line enclosure. Smell nicer. With dog. All survive.

Eat more mushrooms. Fifth to the 10th of August. Smell nicer. Cryptid factor. Lie. Eat more mushrooms. Smell nicer. Is that good?

Is that, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, info techno boom. I think that'll work. Oh well, hey, so we're one weekly World Weird News article in and we're only in hour and twinny in so that's pretty good. Let's move on to my story. Okay, from dogs in lion enclosures and red pandas to Labradors. So rare black iceberg spotted off Labrador coast and no one quite knows what it is. So I'm gonna show you photo guys of this black iceberg. It's quite interesting because icebergs are massive. That's not a controversial statement.

Well, they can be tiny as well. Just saying. You don't often talk about a tiny iceberg. No, that's true. I think that's just called an ice cube. So look, this is a genuine photo and look at this thing here. Wow. It's freaky.

Yeah. So spotted more than 100 kilometers off the coast of Labrador. This was in May. The person who took the photo says that he's never seen anything like this before He was working with a crew on board the Saputi factory freezer trawler off the coast of Labrador He said I've seen icebergs that are rolled what they say have rolled in the beach with some rocks in it This one here is completely different. It's not only that it's all black He is almost in a diamond shape.

That's sort of right, isn't it? That day they'd seen 47 icebergs. So it's not as if this was like the only iceberg they saw that day. They saw 47 all classically looking icebergs and then out of nowhere this black one comes along. And so there's lots of theories about how it could get black. Rolled on a beach and tipped over so that they thought

is that the upside where it's just been accruing a lot of dirt. Some people have theories. It's an oil berg. Oil berg! Yeah, which is a good theory, right? Like, what if it's just coated? Yeah, I think that's a good one. physicist called Lev Tarasov and he studies glacial earth system models and he says that it could have been that a volcano below the ice caps of Iceland had erupted and it's possible that that had coated it in a dust off the back of the eruption. Oh, that makes sense.

That's another good theory, although that would be a lot. Yeah, well that's the thing. So he guessed that the iceberg is at least a thousand years old, but could also be a hundred thousand years old, which seems wild. Yeah. So look, it's anywhere between a thousand and 100,000 years old. That's my best bet.

You might want to put that in your article. Okay. Somewhere in the vicinity of- Is this only the tip of the iceberg? It is the tip of the iceberg. So we don't see 90% of most icebergs They're under the water because the rest of it black or is it just the top? Well, I guess so far in this article They've only seen the photo like they haven't explored the actual iceberg itself surely they can go out and find it, right?

It's like a dark sort of charcoal. Yeah. Yeah. Are they sure it's ice? It's not a big giant piece of charcoal. It could be a massive bit of charcoal. That's so true. This is also interesting. He says he offers another possible explanation. There is some evidence showing that an asteroid struck the northwest coast of Greenland at some point in the distant past.

The iceberg could have some dust from that meteorite strike. Oh, wow. If it came from that area. Yeah. So, I mean, so far there's no explanation, but... That's exciting though. Just imagine seeing that. They need to go touch it.

Yeah. Yeah. It also sort of looks unworldly as well because iceberg has sort of sharp sides. You can see a white one over in the distance and it has angular sides and what have you. This one sort of sharp side you can see a white one over in the distance. Yeah. It has angular sides and what have you. This one sort of looks more like a black pumpkin or something that actually is rounder. Zoom in. You've got to get closer to it. I can't zoom in anymore, unfortunately. Right.

I can zoom in on my screen. I'm pinching and pulling on mine. Oh, okay, right. I'd love you guys to see how big mine is. Okay, well. I'm taking a photo of my one Okay, I'm gonna show you guys. That's definitely a CPM right there Reese's big one. You want to see my big one? Yeah, I'd love to

It looks Otherworldly. He's two things. I'll point out one buttons is gone and the second thing I'll point out Is that One buttons is gone. And the second thing I'll point out, is that it says it may contain a millennia of dirt. Yeah. Now, OK, maybe. But why haven't we noticed this before? Yeah. And also the next thing I'll point out is I'm thinking alien myself. Yeah. Because it looks like it's been constructed to be something that might look like one of our natural creations, I E the iceberg, but they've got it slightly wrong.

It's Labrador. Hello. Black Labrador. Oh, black lab. So when the aliens came down and they were Googling, they could have got their wires crossed and if not, you'd still, still a black one. Because otherwise we're not going to see which one's our ship amongst all these others. Yeah.

Yeah. You look at it, I've just made it bigger. If you can see there, eyeball. Yep. With the eyelid. Yep. Eyeball over there with an eyelid and a mouth Yeah, like it's going almost like the head of like a really weird looking

Labrador wait, is that my in-laws dog Benji? Third sign that is freaky. Pizzas, clouds, icebergs. Oh my God. And you know what they say with spirits? They show you three signs before they go. So that's the third one. Is that for real? Yeah. That's the classic trio, isn't it? You know, the song once, twice, three times, and then I'm heading off. I'm a spirit for you. I want to see you one more time.

I just want to see you once. Oh my god. Twice. There he is. Three times, my beautiful babies, I'll always remember you. Eat more mushrooms, smell less bad. Eat more mushrooms, smell less. Is this what we're doing?

Is this? Yeah. Beep, beep. Fifth to the 10th, Erdembra. Mushroom. Fifth to the 10th, Erdembra. Mushrooms. Beep, beep.

Beep, beep. Once. Beep.ons. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, once, beep, beep, twice, beep, beep, three times, beep, beep, beep, beep, now remember you. Okay, so we've lost ticket sales. I've just checked online. This does link me nicely into my news guys. Remember to take you back to your original apparition in the clouds. So here's some news come through Yahoo News. Heavenly moment. Devotees are

stunned by an apparition in the clouds. I'm gonna show you this because they think this cloud was Jesus Christ. Okay. What? My argument is I want you guys to look at it and think about who else it could possibly be. All right, so do a share screen. No. There we go, there we go.

Here we go guys, This is the one. Alright. Look at that. Oh my god. That's gotta be AI. It totally looks like Jesus with his arms out. And the weird thing is that clouds are all normal and then just one straight up that looks like it's stood up and the cloud goes vertical for no good reason. Like it's not like there's lots of clouds that are popping up. This one is just all by its lonesome and it looks like Jesus. But I want you to now look at the figure again and think about me when I come out on stage.

Oh. And I want you to think about who else it might look like. Okay, we're gonna play it again. Oh, yeah. I've got it. Steve Wrigley Are you saying Bill Napier appeared at the Philippines? You did yeah, I can see it now that it's mentioned. Yeah, look at this one more time. Yeah, that could be

Elvis yeah, yeah That could be Elvis. Yeah. Yeah. That could be Bruce Forsyte. Bruce Forsyte. That could be Bruce Forsyte. Yeah. But it also could be a female. It sort of looks more like there's a big long flowing hair behind it. I mean, I'm surprised they're not saying Mother Mary. It's kind of... No, it's got slacks on. Slacks. So I could be I mean, it could be a pantsuit pants. Pantsuit Jesus could be Hillary Clinton. She's still alive. It's a cloud with trousers and dress shoes. Oh, that's a good point.

Actually, thinking about it one more time here. It does look like the lady in the pantsuit that was leading us into the yellow door nightclub. It is true. It is true. Wow. Out of interest. If Dan hadn't brought up Benji in the sky with diamonds in the clouds, with us forcing your hand to the B grade, what was the A grade story? Sorry. I mean, I know we're pushing the Patreon, but we are an audio podcast and about 50, 60% of this podcast so far has been us just showing each other pictures of clouds.

Well, that's a good reason, isn't it? CPMs. Okay, well, should we move on then along to a segment we haven't done for a little while, but there is a lot of news in this realm. So let's get into animals doing weird things. The animals aren't weird, but the things they do are. Yeah, nice. Okay.

Animals are going wild guys. Animals are learning and they're slowly becoming the sapiens of our planet. Cockatoos are in the news. Wow. This is very interesting. Cockatoos from my sort of hometown of Sydney, Australia, are drinking from fountains after mastering complex moves so that they can turn the public fountain taps on and be able to drink it The story reads sulfur crested cockatoos in Sydney have worked out how to operate drinking fountains with footage showing the whitebirds Gripping and turning the handle before leaning in for a sip Researchers set up camera traps and recorded the birds taking turns at a drinking fountain in Western Sydney

Scientists observed more than 500 temps over 44 days and revealed the birds were successful 46% of the time. The behavior they said consists of a combination of actions involving both feet, bill and shifting body weight to start the water flow. Yeah. So they're basically mimicking humans now studying us and learning our ways. People always talk about birds that know how to peck through the top of milk bottles in order to get access to the milk, or the way that they've been observed to know that if they want to get to a nut, they need to crush it,

so they've been putting nuts in the roads and allowing cars to run over the nuts so that they split them over and then get the goods. This is like a latest in the examples there with cockatoos are now using our drinking fountains. Wow. Well, I don't know what's going on with the universe, but I have a news article here as well about birds starting to mess with us a little bit. The headline flying duck caught by Swiss speed camera is a repeat offender. No.

See, there's a duck in Switzerland in the town of Koenitz and there's a local mallard, this wild duck was snapped on a radar flying straight past this speed camera clocked in at 52 kilometers per hour in a 30 kilometer zone. Oh my god. This happened just last week. And then adding to the mystery, authorities say that the duck is likely a repeat offender because there's an image from 2018 of a duck with exactly the same markings doing exactly the same thing, breaking the speed and being photographed in exactly the same way. So he's a notorious racer. He's sort of like a duck racer, as it

were. We should point out, even in Switzerland, there is no speed limit for a duck. To label it a repeat offender. You got to wonder, but it is a beautiful photo. I mean, if the duck was trying to become immortal, which I think is what it's doing, it's going, you know what? I'm going to get in the bloody BBC. I'm going to get in the news. I think he's trying to get caught. You don't fly that low without knowing that there's going to be a camera flash you right there. And because he's a repeat offender, it looks

like he's having another go at it. I mean I know what's going on in these guys head no that's super fast though isn't it 50 kilometers per hour for a duck yeah wow what what is the average speed of a duck do you reckon if it was flying looks like 15 yeah 15 tops so 50 what is the average speed of a duck? Yeah. 40 to 60. Wow. Underestimating the duck. So it's just literally going at average speed. That's a very normal speed. Well, you're not going to believe this guys, but I have another bird doing another strange thing. No. Yes.

The three of us? Yep. We've all got birdie stories. I've got a gull which takes off with a man's coffee mug. Okay. This was on the BBC. Gull sips man's coffee. He actually drinks from the guy's coffee cup and then

Flies away with the mug in his bill. Oh takes off and there's an amazing photo of it takes the whole bug Yeah, so drinks at first and then goes, you know what? I'm actually gonna take the cup as well Can you see this picture? Coffee oh well, he flew off with the mug Oh my god. So there's a picture there, you can see the gull drink Darren Cardo's coffee before he flew off with the mug. It's a revenge motive. The gull has taken revenge on a man who was installing- Oh right.

Let me finish. I thought he was going to be sleeping with his wife. Okay, can I read the article? So a man was installing anti-bird spikes in a Polish town. So we all know what they do. They had to stop the birds from landing in certain areas. So the birds were watching him do this. Maintenance worker Darren Pardoe had been bird-proofing houses in the small town in Cornwall

when he stopped at a pub for a coffee on the 3rd of June. He said he had been talking to someone before he turned around to find the gull helping himself to the hot brew. And then before he could take action, the feathered thief flew off with the mug. What? And he says, I think he remembered me.

He recognized the gull for when he was putting up the spikes on those houses. It flew around the harbor and then landed on the water. The gull actually put the cup down and the cup just sort of balanced on the water for a bit and then just sank. So you got this amazing photograph, as you can see here, of the gull. That's really good. That's amazing.

Well, there we go. Birds are taking over the world. That's really good. That's amazing. Well, there we go. Birds are taking over the world. That's the message. And now let's close things up with everyone's favorite segment. It's... Weekly World Weird News. Crazy, it's freaky, watch out.

I thought everybody's favorite segment was Weekly World Weird News. Oh no, actually, sorry, no. It's Darby's Disclosures. We're supposed to be playing now. Yeah. Is it possible, it's Darby's Disclosures. We're supposed to be playing now, yeah. Is it possible that Ry's Darby came from another star system and has been visiting Earth for millions of years? Ancient astronaut theorists say yes.

Darby's Disclosures. The truth is inside here. Oh, right, right, right. Oh, yeah, yeah. What's happening? Are we allowed to be there for this? No, right. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah Are we allowed to be there for this? No, we could check out I need you I am in cruise mode I can't believe you've thrown in a Derby's disclosure the one famous section where Leon and I are not in the show on a cruise boat. You've brought that on yourself

You brought your big great news, you brought your Darby's disclosure. Cruise mode Darby has brought in a section that we're not in. I have done this to myself without realizing it because I've caught myself out here. Alright, we'll take advantage of your tiredness and jump into the room for disclosures. So do you guys know about the boogasphere? The boog Sphere? I got a booger out once which was incredibly round. The Booger Sphere.

Is that a phobia of boogers? The Booger Sphere? I'm not the Booger Sphere. It's Booger. B-U-G-A. It's a place in Columbia. This is why I don't have you in my segment. I knew you were going to take the piss. We'll bow out now. You're doing great. You're doing great. Keep going.

You go on. Yeah. A mysterious metal sphere that flew over Columbia last month left both residents and scientists completely stunned. The object later named the Bouguer Sphere was seen flying through the sky before falling in Bouguer, 14 kilometers west of the Colombian capital, where it was found after its still unknown trajectory. where it was found after its still unknown trajectory. Initially, experts seemed convinced it was an object of extraterrestrial origin. Now, after carefully studying the sphere, they have uncovered some intriguing details. In a new study, they revealed that the mysterious object appears to be getting heavier, despite not increasing in size.

In addition, they said the sphere seems to levitate by generating its own electromagnetic field. Inside the sphere, researchers found three layers of a metal-like material, as well as 18 microspheres surrounding a central core they are calling a chip. Using a microscope adjusted to 2,000 times magnification, they discovered hidden wires invisible to the naked eye, supposedly running in different directions and connecting at the surface of the sphere like a microchip. Rodolfo Guarido, a Mexican engineer working with the National Autonomous University of Mexico, or UNAM, on the sphere studies, said that the new evidence also suggests a decaying ionized field is emanating from it. However, despite the strong claims that the object is an alien artifact,

Dr. Julia Mossbridge from the Department of Physics and Biophysics at the University of San Diego strongly criticized the absurd reports and said the sphere is simply a man-made art project. Hmm. So that's it. A man-made art project? That's a hell of a lot of effort for a man-made art project that nobody's taking credit for. Yeah, I think that's ridiculous. And I think my issue with it is that she's getting caught up in the whole, remember those man-made? Oh, the monolith. Monolith. They were clearly art. You don't have to create a flying orb made of boogers.

No. You know, that's just, that's crazy. What do you think it is, Dubs? I think these are definitely UAPs. There's a video of one that's just come out recently that I will show you guys. They are basically reconnaissance objects, much like the kind of thing you'd see in Star Wars, those drones that used to drop out of ships that go and monitor things. That could be happening to us. They could be monitoring or mapping our planet. And I think they are, yeah, balls from another world.

It was doing a lot of stuff this ball. Yeah. Yeah, like it's getting heavier on its own. It's levitating That's a lot of stuff, right? Like usually it would just be like the object itself was just sitting there And so we don't know where this came from kind of like the iceberg right like it's like not doing anything. It's just there Yeah, but it's also I think one of those things that as far as the disclosure things go and like it just feels like the guard has been dropped. Like if it is a UFO, if it is something of extraterrestrial origin or what have you, they seem to just be getting kind of lazier and lazier, just fly above a city and

don't even cloak yourself or anything like that. It does feel like there is a lot of, you know, this kind of stuff that just seems to be happening out in the open now. Then we never got to the bottom of the drones in New Jersey, did we? That just all just sort of just stopped. If we can get back to the sphere for just one minute in my own segment.

Oh, sorry, sorry. Your mics are off actually at the moment, so you can say what you like. The time's going through. Oh, sorry, sorry. Your mics are off actually at the moment, so you can say what you like. Temperature testing revealed another anomaly. The sphere maintains an unusually cold external temperature comparable to refrigeration. While demonstrating localized heating effects, when water was applied to specific sections of the sphere it

immediately vaporized. Wow. It's totally cold you can touch it or you can have anyone touch that sphere it's totally cold it has the temperature degrees of a freezer. Wow. So when we went to throw water on top of it they say it started to emit smoke it vaporized the water instantly where the chip is. It's as if it were hot inside and cold on the outside. I'd be worried that they're all getting radiated, that there's some terrible radiation going on. Like I said, your mics are off guys. Oh sorry, my mic. One of the most intriguing aspects of the bugosphere phenomenon is the presence of unusual markings or symbols on its exterior surface. These markings have been subjected to preliminary linguistic analysis to determine if they represent

a form of communication or written language. And one of the researchers basically applied both conventional linguistic comparison techniques and artificial intelligence analysis to the symbols to figure out what these markings meant. We've done it based on the data of ancient alphabets and forgotten alphabets and was able to decipher what the markings meant. Okay, this is the translation. You ready? It says on the sphere, the origin of birth through union and energy in the cycle of transformation, meeting point of unity, expansion, and individual consciousness.

That's what the markings mean. What? Wow. What the hell? So I'm wondering if this is some sort of seeding device. You heard of panspermia. Direct panspermia, where it's done on purpose, where they send out little seeding devices to create life on planets.

That's the theory of how we might have got here. Like how octopus has got here. My theory is that they are from either another dimension or another world. Yeah. And perhaps they're from the future going with your theory buttons, but I think they're definitely linked to us, not to say that they're not non-human, but they could be from humans from the future or another realm. Yeah. Yeah. The unity of general consciousness of life on planets. Yeah. Something to do with the reason we're here. Well, I've just done a Google and there's additional markings on it that they hadn't yet translated and they've put it through another AI system.

But they've now got the additional translation. So that can add to the, I guess, the unraveling of the story. Yeah. Pretty exciting. So it reads fifth to the 10th Gilded Balloon Cryptid Factor Live. Wow! Wait, say that again? Fifth to the 10th? Yeah. August. Wow. Gilded Balloon. Yeah. Mick Perrin presents. No. It's got Mike Perrin in there. The Cryptid Factor. Oh my god. Well, that's it. Well in there. The cryptid factor. Oh my God. Well, that's it. Well, this fits in with my theory that I was going to say that it's like, it has been sent back from the future because why else would it have all these ancient languages on it? They've sent it back because they know that our show won't sell out and it'll affect our ego, which will change.

It's like, you know, that things go wrong because our show won't sell out and it'll affect our ego, which will change. It's like, you know, that things go wrong because our show doesn't sell out. And so they send back this to advertise the show in a really incredible way to drive more people so that saves the future. Wait, is that really incredible way just through our podcast by us mentioning it now? Yeah. podcast by us mentioning it now. Yeah. For the fifth time on the one podcast. To the people who are all going to go anyway.

Anyway, exactly. But with that, maybe it is something sent back from the future and it's got all of those different hieroglyphic old languages on it because they sent it back not knowing when it was going to land, what age and what time. Yeah. But it is emanating a radiation, a type of mutating radiation, so that when people come close to it to throw their buckets of tap water on it,

it's actually changing our DNA to be able to help us survive into the future, into whatever new horrible sort of world that we're going to live in as climate change starts having an effects. It is actually these little spheres coming and mutating us to get ready for that. Okay. So I don't know if I've said this on the podcast before and I know my mic's off, but I'll go on anyway. There's this thing that I've written about in a couple of things now,

where Carl Sagan, as one of his brilliant brain moments when he's working in sending satellites into space. So one of the other things is there are two metallic balls that are going around our planet right now, and they are monitoring how much the continents are shifting. And they're going to be up there, I think think for I might be wrong but I think it's eight million years right and they will eventually crash back on earth eight million years from now and Carl Sagan as a last-minute thing had an idea of putting a plaque on it to show What earth would have looked like fifty something million years ago where all the continents were together?

would have looked like 50 something million years ago where all the continents were together, what the earth looks like right now as the balls were sent up, but what the prediction of our planet will look like eight million years from now. So when the balls land, they should match the geography of our planet. But the question is, imagine in the time between now and eight million years, we get wiped out as a civilization. Somehow the earth re-inherits itself and we are just not a trace. A new intelligence erupts. The birds have taken over, you know?

The mushrooms are sentient. And then this mysterious ball lands with this encryption on it, like this ball, and we're going, what is this? And what it was is us. Like, is that what this ball is? Was there an ancient civilization that we've lost? Yes. That's an fascinating theory.

Definitely onto something there, Dan. This could be the only habitable place, but we keep stuffing it up and sending stuff out for it to come back back and when it comes back we've already gone. A new world has been created here. And a new one that perhaps now has black icebergs. Yeah, cut to just shots of all these ages throughout time of people chucking cups of water on these spheres going one more bit that's all of the intelligence of the prior history it's all encased in here people going oh the water boils and it's cold that's weird anyway yeah not this again we're too stupid to understand what it actually means I like that I really like that idea in fact that idea is so good I think

we should end on it. Hey it's time for Dubs to go to sleep. You've done very well. Thank you guys. You can turn your mics back on. Turn your mics back on. Oh, thank you. This is very kind. Well, here you have a fantastic rest of your tour, Dubs. Thank you. It gets rested up for the tour continuing. And I will just say one other brief thing. We are going to have merch. We're going to have Crypto Factor merch, I believe.

Yeah. At the Fringe. So, yeah, come to the live show. You think this good was live. Great. Then imagine on stage audio with this top show. We've exhausted him. We've run him dry. That was it. That was the heavy lifting. We dropped him. We've exhausted him. We've run him dry.

That was it. That was the heavy lifting. We dropped him. We dropped him. There he is. He's run out. My sphere's broken. My markings. I need to put water on my markings. Wait. Oh, guys. I'm so cold on the inside. Hot on the outside. I'm the opposite. He's levitating. You would be the ultimate thing to send up to space to circle for 8 million years to

come back down and tell the new civilization how life was. Yeah. That's what that cloud was. It was an 8 million year old Bill Napier returning to Earth, being filmed on the way down. Alright lads, food for thought eh? Yeah! Lots of food, lots of thought. Has the show ended? All right lads food for thought hey yeah Lots of food lots of thought As the show ended yeah, we'll see you next week. Bye. Oh, it was still going The And when you've done this, go out and pull me another staple!