The Cryptid Factor - #112 EdFringe LIVE Night Three Issue

Episode Date: December 1, 2025

“If doesn’t go wrong, you haven’t seen us”Welcome back to the Cryptid Factor Live in Edinburgh - Night 3!In this show you will find a man who has LITERALLY taken his life into his hands, plants evolving into musicians on San Pellegrino diets, eye ball yoga, stereotypical evil villains bringing giant birds back to life (Jurassic Park style), Rhys sounding fish that refuse to die, and whale threesomes to finish us off…  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

There's usually a video, which is really cool. Oh, yeah! Where's the video? Oh, shit. Okay, night three, I thought we fucking had it. Oh, I forgot about this. Oh, hang on. Every day, a new technical difficulty.

That was going too smooth. even the audience I felt were like Mm-mm, this is not right. Any stiff bit was, buttons was talking to me. Okay, here we go, here we go, here we go. Start it again. Okay, okay, okay. Sorry, I thought it was playing,

that's why I was... Yeah. Well, they'll be enjoying that. There's nothing there, and we just... The theme song's not short. Yeah. All right, go on. I just need one of those memory

erasing things from men in black. You go, boom, you don't remember the last couple of minutes. And here we go. Welcome to the Cryptid Factor If it doesn't go wrong You haven't seen us There we go wrong That's the Thunderbird Hunt

Oh that's obviously UAP That's a dragon. The Cryptid Factor with Rich Darby, Dan Schreiber and Button. That's Buttons driving that Thunderbird. That's an actual Thunderbird. That's him putting up a fake Thunderbird. That's us on Loch Ness last year.

That's us discovering Nessie. Yeah! Yeah! That's going to be so surreal for the people listening to this show at home. So welcome everyone to The Cryptid Factor. We're so excited to be here. Edinburgh 2025. We have so much to tell you about.

We got lots of weird news. We have an eyewitness account. We have a prize to give away to our audience. If you think of something weird, we'll give something away at the end. How shall we begin, do you think? Maybe with our favorite segment. Yes. Okay.

You're going too quickly. I haven't got enough time to scroll through the... So we've got a number of segments in the show. We start with one that is basically the weekly world weird news. Weekly world weird news. Okay, so let's do some headlines. What have you got, Dan? I've got...

After spending a year mastering how to do a handstand, a man in China has now successfully climbed. 34 mountains while upside down. Holy jingoes. Yeah. Well, I've got AI proves a 100-year-old theory that plants actually talk. Oh.

Oh. Okay. This sounds familiar. Yeah. When talk is a very strong word. Make sounds, which I call talking. Yeah, I think anything coming out of your mouth with meaning, is talk.

And that's a quote from me. Oh, wow. And that's what they're doing? No. No. But we'll get into it. You decide after my story. Should we start with that one

seeing as it does sound like the worst out of that? Okay, yeah. Well, shall I go first? That's an honour. You could have the first article. Thank you very much. It's very kind. So, a hundred years ago, a scientist...

Wait, what year's that? I'm going to say 1925. Okay. Well, that's fast. Oh, yeah. I was going to say 1822. because my mass isn't so good. A Indian scientist, Jagadish Chandra Bose,

came up with the theory that plants actually make noises at a high-pitch level, kind of like a dog, that we can't hear. And research just now out of the Tel Aviv University in Israel has actually proven his theory right after 100 years and they've had to use AI to do so. it is proving that plants are actually communicating with each other not only through mycelium, through the ground. And the wood wide web.

The wood wide web, as they call it. They are actually making very high-pitched noises and the like as well, which is fantastic for this incredible guy. He was ridiculed at the time. So he was 100 years too early because we didn't have artificial intelligence to help. Yeah, I'm calling him the plant Galileo. Okay, okay. I just came up with that just then.

Wow. Somebody should call him and tell him that he's now... Oh, no, he's dead. He's passed. This is something that we've thought for a long time, right? I think there is a fact that grass sort of screams when it's being mowed. Now, that's a human emotion we've attached to it, but it lets off something sonically, which tells the other grass, watch out. Yeah, right.

But I don't know what you can do, obviously. There's this idea that plants can emit noises to other plants. What have they proved them? because that has been speculation. Well, it actually goes further than that because there is now a bunch of research coming out that plants not only communicate with each other through sounds. They can actually learn as well.

There is some research that has been done, like I was 10 years ago, I was going to say recently, but it was 10 years ago. Well, the history of time, that's very recent. That's very, very recent. That's about a decade. Exactly. What that is led to now is...

I'm just trying to make the show funny. Come on, hurry up. Well, no, but this is the thing. He doesn't go first, usually. Exactly. Guys, it's leading on to the fact that we're now proven that plants can communicate. And that plants learn. Okay.

So people are taking that to the next level now and making plants make music. And there is now a whole bunch of artists using fungi to create music. Oh, I love this. Yeah. And they're plugging in. the fungi into instruments. Are you ready to hear some of this music?

I would love. This is fungi music. Oh, wow. That is mushrooms making music. I don't know how much of this I really want to believe. Much. Because a lot of that looks like a setup with electronic equipment. No, no.

See these little plugs here that's plugged into a music-making machine. Wow. Okay, so I'm just going to pause it there because that's a really annoying music. What's actually happening? It's not like words being a strong word. Music is who's strong and descriptive for that. But what they're trying to do is educate the fungi to be able to remember music and to be able to listen to music.

So they're trying to train the mushrooms to play better music. So in a couple of weeks' time, we're going to do the news. That's going to sound like a symphony. So you're suggesting the mushrooms there are making the music through their mushroomness and that vibe is being put onto the actual instruments

and somehow they're hearing it? Yeah. No. There is. There is. The learning... Well, it doesn't sound great for a start but also do they know what's going on?

I mean, they're not sentient. They don't have a... No, but there's so many questions here. So this is what they are actually getting to. You think about... about it, the proof that they have now that they have been able to teach plants to memorize things. And they did this by this incredible experiment. There was this fern plant called a mimosa. Mimosa, no, that's a drink. I didn't want to bring it up. I did have a couple

before. It's a plant. It's a fern. Anyway, they would drop this fern, and each time it would drop, it would curl up its leaves because it was a fair response or a protection response. They kept doing it over and over again. to the point where the plant just stopped doing it. Prove that it learnt over time that it could actually... You can learn without a brain. Yeah. Exactly.

And you're an example of that. I walked straight into it. I started talking... I don't know if I've said this before here, but I have a plant in my office who's called Baxter, and I talk to this plant now off the back of having studied a guy called Cleve Baxter, who was a person who claimed that you could put a plant

to a polygraph test, to a lie detector, and it could respond. So I've just got into the habit of talking to me. my plant in the house, even though I don't believe it's genuinely doing stuff. But now we've kind of got a good relationship. And to the point where I was stuck in my office one day with my kids outside, and it was work hours. And if I came out, my work day would be ruined. And I suddenly noticed that Baxter was looking quite depressed and dry. And I didn't have any normal water on me, but I had sparkling water on me. Yeah. And I quickly Googled it. Apparently, it's really good

for pot plants. So I gave Baxter some San Pellegrino. Very fancy. And it worked really well. And now that's all I give Baxter. It's Baxter's on a San Pellegrino diet. How much are you spending on Baxter? Yeah, I know. That is middle class, unlike anything you've ever heard. No, it really...

Also, I talk to myself a lot, so I'm thinking to get away with that, I might set up a lot more plants around my house. Yes. I could be talking to plants. And call them all Reese. So when you say, oh, good one, Reese, really funny. They won't know you're talking to yourself, which is what... A touch too obsessive, man.

Do we move on? Let's do it. Fascinating stuff. Thank you so much. Should we do my one? This is a sort of a bit of an expedition update because we did mention this ages ago on the cryptid factor. Someone announced that they were going to try and start climbing

all of China's 50 most popular mountains while upside down in a handstand. That was back in 2023. He's gone and done it. His name is Sun Guo Chan. Shan actually means mountain in Mandarin as well. So that's quite cool. He's a 38-year-old guy. He's been practicing these handstands.

And he's been going up five to 10,000 foot mountains completely upside down. A lot of these mountains have built in staircases because quite often they lead to a temple at the top. So he's been having to do it upside down. If you remember Ace Ventura when nature calls when he... Of course. Yeah, the big old staircase. That's like it, but going up in a handstand. So he's managed 34 out of the 50 at the moment.

My question here, to begin with, is he like constantly on his hands? Or is he like, you know, four or five steps then down? Back up again. I think he takes a break, but he doesn't continue. So a lot of people, if they go on ginormous walks across the UK or the world, sometimes they can't do it all in one go. So they'll do... I think not.

On your hand. No, not upside down. Not outside down, just generally. Like a walk. Oh, yes. They'll do 20 days of the walk, but go, I've got to get back to work, work for two months, and then drive back to the spot and pick up the walk from there. So it technically counts as one walk.

That's a thing. Yeah, that is a thing. Okay. We've got a video. Why don't we see what his actual technique is. So that we're... It's not easy. No.

Here we go. Oh, yeah. So there's a... Okay, so he is good. He's good. I mean, it looks ridiculous. I'll tell you what I would have done. I would have put a balloon between my legs with a smiley face on it.

And I ought to put an outfit on that looks like I'm upright. So by all accounts, he just keeps going. There's no... Like, if he falls over, does he start again? No, he said... So he said that the... the most recent one that he did, he almost fell close to 100 times, and that was

99 steps that he did. So, yeah, it's tiring and so on, but it just makes you think, what are we doing with our lives, you know? What the question is, what is he doing with his life? Something extraordinary. It is rather astonishing, though, isn't it? Look at the smile on his face. He said,

I'm winning at life. I've taken life literally into my hands, literally. And I just think if you can go to a party and say, oh, what do I do in my spare time, and then say something like that, life is better. Wow. For everyone at the table. You think the blood rushing to his head can't be good for you?

Yeah, see, I can't do it. I can't be more than 30 seconds upside down. I pass out. Do you know who does five minutes on top of their head every day, as in is doing it right now when they get up every morning? Paul McCartney. What? Paul McCartney wakes up and he flips upside down on his head. He doesn't use his hands.

He does a headstand for five minutes. For what purpose? It's a yoga move. He does that and he does eyeball yoga for five minutes and eyeball yoga is where you just try and put your eyeballs the other way around of your head.

But what does that do? It strengthens your eyeballs I guess It's You don't see wearing glasses Look at us lazy bars Well I've always felt I've had weak eyeballs That's one of my things, yeah

But you've got very movable eyeballs Oh they're good Yeah I mean they can do stuff But I think when they're when they're in rest mode, they do slack. They do slacken. Well, you need the McCartney five-minute eyeball maneuver.

Yeah, but I'll be worried I'd be like too intense the whole time. There is this trick, though, I've only just learned recently about getting yourself to sleep, using your eyes, doing effectively eyeball yoga. Oh, yeah. And if you're having trouble sleeping, which I have, is that you close your eyes, and you look all the way up and then all the way down, and then all the way to the left and all the way to the right, and then around in a circle, and then around back in another circle,

and then go cross-eyed, all with your eyes closed, and by the second or third time you're doing that, you're asleep. I had to stop myself doing it then, otherwise. So your eyes are in charge. Sorry, I've got a bit... You're essentially tiring them out. Yeah, but it's amazing. But just sort of give us a little...

Something to try tonight? Yeah, and you're having trouble sleeping. And if you wake up in the morning, you do want to get them really going, you can try this one. Oh, wow. I can only see one of the eyeballs And it was really great Well, that was fun

And really great for the audio Podcast as well Okay, well listen Time is getting away from us So we need to move on to our main feature mystery Of the show And Reese Yeah, so I've decided to be this week's feature

You're the feature mystery Not me personally But are you guys familiar with the company It's been in the headlines recently called Colossal, who are doing the de-extinction of various animals, and it's very Jurassic Park. If you haven't heard of it, they came out recently in the news headlines with the dire wolf, which hadn't been seen for 10,000 years, unless you watch Game of Thrones. And they're bringing that back, so they've got genuine puppies of that.

We all saw that on the news. The same company are also, they're going to bring back the woolly mammoth, and they're going to bring back the thylacine or the Tasmanian tiger, which is the Australian, the one that's extinct. And now they're going to bring back the New Zealand creature that we all know and love if you're a New Zealander called the Moa, which is our giant 12 foot tall, 12 foot tall bird. Now that's been extinct for 600 years. For thousands of years, the wingless herbivore patrolled New Zealand, feasting on trees and shrubs until the arrival of humans. Today, records of the enormous animals survive only in

Māori oral histories. That's our indigenous people, as well as thousands of discoveries of bone, mummified flesh, and the odd feather. So, colossal biosciences really want to bring it back in conjunction with Peter Jackson.

So you all know Sir Peter Jackson from the Lord of the Rings. He's getting behind it. He's going to make a movie on it? And one of the Iwi in New Zealand, one of the Māori tribe, Naitahu Research Centre, are behind it that local indigenous people wanted to come back and that was a really important thing

that had to be like if they don't want it then it's not done you know so there's other tribes though in New Zealand that are like no we don't want it so it's a really interesting dilemma so let's ask the audience

in a moral perspective do you think this is a good idea or a bad idea who says bad okay all right there's a lot of you who says good okay less people interesting now the bad

types that you're not bad but you're you know what I mean why do you think that hang up with your mic because I've actually I've got no more information on this you could pull us in I think if it's become extinct by natural causes then it's clear that it has kind of gone through its evolutionary cycle but if it was hunted to death then that's a different thing and presumably most of these things weren't hunted to death as far as we know yeah great answer and everyone heard that and I I think I agree with you. Now, in terms of the moa, it was hunted to extension.

So do you agree that maybe give the mower another go? Yeah, okay, great. It's a big question. It's a big moral dilemma. You're bringing back an animal into a world that doesn't have an ecosystem ready for it. We don't know how it's going to be placed in the world, how it's going to mess up things. We've seen new animals being integrated into areas that are not meant to be and wiping them out. I love exciting stuff.

So for me, I think the opportunity of giving it a go is. good, but I'm worried about it. Because I'm a big Jurassic Park fan. Well, I was going to say. And everything we create, we go guys, we imagine this. And it didn't turn out well. Like, what's next? Okay, they're not

dinosaurs. They're pretty close to being, but these things could easily kill you. Because they're so huge. Like, you know what it's like when an ostrich comes down and wax you on the head? Maybe only I've had that experience.

but I was in Jumanji But when a 10 foot or 12 foot thing Like it would literally It's neck alone Or its foot would have enough strength To kill you in one swipe Mentioning Jurassic Park I read something just this morning

Which is that Michael Crichton Who wrote Jurassic Park Was taller than a velociraptor No He was 6 foot 9 Can you imagine if we were here and the author of Jurassic Park came in, you would naturally be like,

he'd look like one of the brachiosauruses walking in, six foot nine. That's quite extraordinary. No wonder he put a lot of brachiosauruses in there. It'd be awesome if they revealed that he was dressed up as one of the velocaries. He was the raptor in the kitchen, yeah. This, by the way, I wanted to show you guys this because this is a bit of a celebrity photo

because not only have you got the moa here in the photo, but you've got Sir Richard Owen. Sir Richard Owen is the person who coined the word, dinosaur. Wow. And he's the one who made the connection that dinosaurs were a thing altogether. So there was a bone

that was in one of the British museums that was the first ever found dinosaur bone. But because dinosaurs weren't a concept then, we didn't know what to call it. It was a guy called Robert Plott who found them. And so he thought that it might be

a giant Roman war elephant, but then he thought, no, that's not plausible enough. What it actually must be is the thigh of a giant human from the Bible days. Yeah. goliath so he thought it was a thigh bone and then it got put in a book with an illustration but someone under the illustration said humanum scrotum because it looks exactly like a pair of testicles and so it was then believed that these were the giant's testicles because some people misread it but then richard owen found this drawing and went hang on no this is a different species altogether and with two other bones when i think this is all part of a new thing and he called it the megalosaurus and that became the

basis, these giant testicles were the basis for the first ever built dinosaur, which you can still see today in Crystal Palace in London. The original dinosaurs we ever had were because of this guy right here. Just goes to show you, when you want to create dinosaurs, you've got to have the balls to do it. There you go. There he goes. Can I just quickly show you this? This is the colossal website. You can sign up to a newsletter here. If you're, if you're, if you're, if you're you're really cool. But look, I just as a company marketing yourself for doing this really scary thing, look at their

website. It's like it's a supercut of an evil movie about the bad things that are going to happen. Imagine this is a trailer for a movie where humans get taken over by this company colossal. They're really pushing that one animal that I've done so far.

Exactly. And whoever is doing their marketing. Everyone that comes true is basically just a wolf. Here's the mower. Long legs, but it's still very woefully, isn't it? What sort of genes are you putting in these? I'd say we're worried about how they're going to reintegrate into society. They've just got a shit ton of acting work straight off the back.

You don't have time for anything. You're a star, mate. Given that we don't have it yet, is that Andy Circus inside that Moa? That is Andy there. Anyway, we do need to move on to our next segment. Now, one of the things that we have found as champions of the weird is that sometimes a lot of amazing stories get out there, but they don't make it to the bigger world, because on

paper, in black and white, they're a bit too boring. What if they were accompanied by the vocal talents of a star from Jumanji? Oh! And so, we have collected together...

Oh, that's a different movie. We have collected together some of our favorite eyewitness accounts, and we're now going to read one through with Mr. Reist Arby on the vocals. So have we got our sting? No, I haven't heard this, so I'm... Okay.

Oh, what have you got there? Oh, great. Another eyewitness account. Account. Account. Okay, our story today takes place on October the 11th, 1973. It was told by Fred the sheriff from America.

I'm the sheriff around here. You can tell by the badge. So here we go. This is what Fred said about two men. Charles Hickson, and Calvin Parker 19, who staggered into his office at 6 p.m. in a distressed condition. Hello? Help us. They reported to me that they had been fishing along a river when they cited a strange silvery craft,

about 100 feet long, which descended from above from about 30 feet within them. Holy shit, bring the rail in. I think I caught something. Don't worry about that. What the hell is that? It hovered above them emitting a blue light. They stated... Blue light.

Emitting. Oh. Is that blue? Get that fish sorted. They stated that... They stated that... One more. How much of these?

They stated that a hatch in the craft then opened and three gray-looking aliens floated out. The aliens appear to have wrinkled skin, claw-like hands, and a single slit for one eye. I'm getting old. I don't you think we're down here or no. We'd be better down here. We'll live our days down here.

Oh, okay. My eyes, I can hardly see. Parker said he then fainted, but Hickson stated that he was... Hickson stated that he was... Hickson's... stated he was immobilized before being floated aboard the craft where he laid face up on the table.

Oh, I'm immobilized! No! Hickson! I'm on a table! I'm on a table! Hickson! Hickson, where have you got? These fucking things won't die. A huge electronic eye then examined him from head to toe at close range.

That's close enough. Human. Both men stated that about 20 minutes later, they found themselves outside the craft once again. God, it's been about 20 minutes. I'm back. X-N-you-O-K-K? Yeah, I was really closely examined.

Got that fish sorted? I think so. Fuck. At first, I didn't believe this statement by Parker and Hickson for obvious reasons. I continued to interrogate them to try and break down their unlikely story, but they insisted on what they had seen.

The first thing they wanted to do was take a polygraph test. I'll take a polygraph test. Straight away? Yep. Before anything else, I'll take a polygraph test right now. Okay. Book you up. Okay.

your name. Hickson. You're out. Charlie appeared badly shaken. You don't see a 45-year-old man cry unless something terrible has happened. Also, I heard Calvin praying to himself when he thought nobody could hear. Please, dear me,

make these things go away. I'm not sure that the fish was dead when we put it into the cooler. I can still hear it. I can still hear it. Hickson was examined closely, but I don't believe it. He was gone at least 20 minutes. I see these things in the name of myself.

Ah, me. Both men appeared to be ill and were taken to a local hospital for suspected radiation poisoning. However, upon examination, they were found to be free of the radiation and were well enough to return to the local shipyard. You're free to go. What about the radiation? No, you're fine. I think I've got a cough.

No, you're just out in the cold too long. But we're worried about you. Go back down to the ship area. What was it? Department. I don't know. Ask a reception. I forgot where you were supposed to go. Okay.

What's in that cooler? There's something alive in the cooler. Let's go quickly, Hickson. Rachel, reception Yeah, hi, we've got to go somewhere where we can't remember the guy I couldn't remember where we're going Oh, that'll be the shipyards

Thank you Oh, if you go What's in that cooler? Never you're mine Come on, Hickson I reported the incident To the federal authorities For further investigation

In my opinion, and for what it's worth Parker and Hickson Are just two country boys And neither of them has enough imagination or intelligence to concoct such a tale or enough guile to carry it off. Enough guile! Hey, asshole! We heard what you said there.

We're smart as hell. Yeah. And we even did the UFO thing ourselves. You've got to have brains to do that, knob rot. Come on, Hickson, let's go. Okay. What about the cooler? No, fuck I don't. Don't open the cooler. Do you not open the cooler Do you not open the cooler?

The end. Reese Harvey, everyone. I just want to challenge that 45-year-old men only cry if something very serious has happened. Yeah, that's true. I keep forgetting to say, Reese hasn't heard these stories,

so that's completely fresh to him. We've got one last thing to do before we wrap up our show tonight, which is we need to find out how weird you lot are. Now, if you think you have something weird, two sentences or less, please raise your hand

and we will... Something weird that's happened to you, yeah, in your life. Two sentences or less, that's one. I know my maths hasn't been great tonight, but I'm pretty sure it's either two or one. If it ends up being three, that's fine, but no more than three. So let's... We're giving bonus sentences. Let's have the chat at the back there first.

I was out on the Porto River near Sydney. I? And I was with a man who thought that was Loch Ness wants to in the river there and while we're out in the boat it surfaced and came out but it may or may not have been a breaching whale's pairs. Wow. Interesting. That bonus sentence you used really deliberate.

It was really good. That was really good. Just qualified for seven sentences. A good story. That's amazing. That's good. So there's this idea that when whales are mating, they mate. in threes and they mate at the surface and quite often usually two males one female with

certain whales and because it's one go at a time basically there's a spare penis that's waiting and that often yeah that's the waiting penis that you see sort of just pink yeah was it pink either that or a clams foot could it have been a clams foot no possibly A nice callback. Call back to a show that we did live yesterday, but there's no way you can know what that means. Okay, so you either saw an amazing Sydney cryptid or a giant penis getting ready for a threesome.

Either way, win-win. Okay, good. Can I just quickly just say, in looking over here, I've just noticed two incredibly young children sitting front row, and I am so sorry to the parents. Oh, they know what a whale penis is. Choose another one. Do you choose one button?

Okay, over this way over here? Last year, I drove to a bedroom for the Cryptist Factor show, and I was... You've won. No, carry on. I was definitely not holding asleep for legal reasons while driving, but I saw something on the road that looked at like a monster, and it made me wake up and not crush a die. So I was...

Oh, wow. You saw something on the road as well? corroborated. So, driving from where to where? It was from North Yorkshire to... To hear. To hear. To hear. It was very late at night, and I saw, like, a shape with the trees and the lightning looked

like a very big monster. Wow. Passing in front of you, and you both saw it. Was that going to be your story as well? No, I had a different one. Oh, you had a different one. Oh, we might as well hear it, given that you're... So, last year, she rang me to say, like, hey, cryptic activity going on sale.

Okay. Where Paul was, at the same time, I was listening to the podcast, and you were talking about a lazy code at that time. Yay! Oh! Lazy code, the idea of synchronicity in the universe making things happen. Okay, what a power couple of weirdness, yeah. Monster hunters. That's very good. Okay.

What do you think, guys? Who do you think you should win the tote bag and badge? Look, they're all great stories. I reckon those guys have already got tote bags and badges. I like the Aussie guy at the back It's gotta be A whale penis Yeah

Give my hand Bring him back down Come down and win your thing Thank you all for Coming to our show We hope you enjoy it We're back for three more shows

Come along to the mall If not We'll see you next time Good night everyone Good night Good night Come again tomorrow Bring your mates

More weirdness new stories. Love you guys. Enjoy the fringe.