The Cryptid Factor - 17: #017 The X Rated Issue

Episode Date: August 10, 2015

In this issue, Rhys has better news than all of us... no surprise there - but this time its actual AMAZING! We also cover Robot Murder, Reptilians - and the ABC's (Alien Big Cats... fyi).

The Quintet Factor, with Rhys, Derby, and David Fadriar Hello and welcome to another episode of The Cryptid Factor, with myself, Dave Fadriar Rhys, Derby, of course Hi, it's Buttons again, hi! Are you still with us? I'd like to know, it took us about an hour to get all the mics set up Buttons had to sellotape his mic to some sort of pole so it's up in front of him Had quite a bit of difficulty even just skyping each other in

Yeah, I'd say, if anything, it's getting worse The longer we've been doing this, the longer it takes to set up I think if we're still doing this in a year's time, we're looking at probably a day's worth of connection But we're in, and it's a struggle, but we do it To be fair to me, there is actually a heck of a lot To organise UNLA, Rhys, right now we're talking across different parts of the world I've got a microphone which is from the 70s and the clip broke And now I can't get it onto a normal mic stand

Can I just say, I can see you guys through my video screen There's a Skype system here, and I'm looking at you buttons And that microphone from this angle, it looks like the head of a terrier It looks like an aging dog I can't even see the end of it, but it's so massive What is that? Is that a merkin? What are you talking into? I got a shrunken head from the, please believe it or not And I inserted a microphone into it

So I'm talking into a little miniature head, a little shrunken head That's brilliant, that's marketing, we could sell those Yeah, we just need more shrunken heads I think the main thing to focus on though, team, is that we're all in Technically or in the same virtual room, we're recording That's exciting Well, let's hope we're recording This is live

Are we recording? It's actually legitimately double G Yes, it looks like it says 255, we've been recording for a few minutes It's 3.34 in Auckland, New Zealand What time is it where you are, Rhys? We're looking at 8.34pm Alright, but we're all in, we're all in This is exciting, eh? We can all read clocks and stuff

And I wish we could have got together earlier But as you all know, we've been busy The people out there in the ethos That's the encampment that the big fans are in It's like a holiday camp, it's called the ethos And that's all you listeners, you're in a trailer park Big cryptid factor fans, we know where you're situated Out there near Area 51

Special shout out to you guys You know what's been happening, you know my big news But before we go into that, let's hear the smaller news From my cohorts, buttons and farrier, what have you got? Well look, it's been very busy Here, I've been working on this late night news show Called Newsworthy It's been going good, it's been going good

We sort of caught ourselves newsworthy So that when we did light silly stories People would go, oh ho, they're being ironic But really, we've noticed people get angry When you've got a show called Newsworthy And you put something light on there Most people just go, you've tricked us This isn't worthy, I've learnt that people in the world of news

Take things very, very seriously But no, it's been a great run We're having great guests coming on And it's been buddy fun, we need to get you on buttons at some point To talk about technology or something What have you been up to, buttons? Well, I've been very busy I went down to New Zealand's capital Wellington on the weekend

And I filmed a DVD with none other than Alan Davies He's a comedian like you, isn't he? Oh yes, he's great, how was he? I saw you on Facebook dressed up in a big, big foot suit No, that was a cool thing I was outside the venue after we were doing our little checks I walked outside and right outside the venue Where Alan Davies was playing in Wellington

A dude in a big foot suit Like begging, like busking But really just begging, because he wasn't doing anything Apart from sitting in a big foot suit I was like, that's amazing At first I was like, this is my dream come true I took a photograph, took a couple of photographs Wonderful dude, apart from the fact he wouldn't tell me where he ordered his Sasquatch suit from

It was a brilliant Sasquatch suit So it was another guy in a suit, wasn't you in the suit? No, another man in a suit But he was gripping you at some point, wasn't he? He lifted me, he was busy there, I gave him $5, gave him a generous tip What to lift you? He must have been a big dude That's pretty big, he was huge, he was a monster

Okay, so you've been kidnapped by a Sasquatch, that's quite good news Newsworthy still on air, that's good You haven't been cancelled yet, I'll give us another month So I guess I haven't really got much to say I mean, I did the X-Files TV show But apart from that Hang on, stop, hang on, stop there What was that show of?

It's just called the X-Files, you probably haven't heard of it It's a small cable show I don't think anyone's seen it Oh my God But just in case you have Yeah, they've decided to make six more episodes And I'm the star of one of them It makes it really hard to live up to your standards

Normally it's okay because you get glasses, we all get glasses You get a cool car, we get a cheaper version of your cool car But then you get on X-Files I mean, it's insane though The X-Files is a show that got me into cryptozoology Some of those early episodes, Mothman, Loch Ness Monster, Chupacabra They all featured in the X-Files And now you weirdly are in this new season

Which is just utterly bizarre It's the full circle guys, this is full circle This is the zeitgeist And it's the eventual reasoning and pinpoint Molecular, vernacular, serpentine spirit realm Of why we're doing this That everything eventually becomes the one thing that we believe in And of course if you believe in something long enough

It will happen And I think it's in the title I want to believe And the creator, Chris Carter I read an article, I've got one here actually I'll just pop it up here What it says here, I found it Of course he does believe

And that's not a big surprise He wants to believe, that's his thing He's brought the show back Here's a quote here For the new series creator, Chris Carter But also drawing upon more recent events Including the revelations by WikiLeaks Of government sanctioned eavesdropping and cover-ups

Things like that He says, you can imagine I was the least shocked person in the world He says, it is not surprising to me at all Those assertions and allegations are what I think the X-Files was built on Completely, because I mean the world That's the interesting thing with this new season Because the world's changed a lot since the X-Files was on Like the world itself has gotten weirder

People have gotten weirder People understand how weird it is And this new show exists in that world Yeah, and I think it's a show like X-Files That has let people Invited them, if you will To believe more And to accept more

That weirdness isn't just made up That it actually does happen And this new season Of just special six episodes The fact that I got a part on it For me it was just mind-blowing Because I mean I've done some big auditions before And I go in with an open mind

But really I say open It's pretty closed I'm not gonna get this It's slightly open I'm sort of peeping through The open door of the mind Thinking, oh, any chance of this? And I can see them in there

Through in my mind Looking at me sort of going No chance Come in so we can mock you So I've been in and I've auditioned For things like True Detective Fargo, the series Auditions that have been

For me quite sort of drama Huge drama For a comedian actor You go in and you think Oh, how am I gonna And ones that I've got to put on an accent And put on a sort of a serious scene And I walk away thinking

Oh, there's no chance of getting that And so when I got the X-Files one I thought the same I put it in the same category That this was not gonna happen And I did My hope was bigger though Because I believed with this genre

That it was meant for me That I'm into the paranormal And so this would be perfect Then you give you a little bit of script To read before you do the audition So you don't really know much about it You've got like one or two pages For you to learn the lines of

And then you go in there And I went in and Chris Carter's sitting there Oh my God Just sitting there I know and I'm like, hi And he's just got He's got a great look on his face

It's kind of like It's not like who the hell are you It's kind of like almost like Oh, here he is Kind of thing It's almost like And I said that already Made me feel comfortable

Because often when you go into rooms For auditions They either don't really look at you Because I've seen so many people Throughout the day Or they've got a look on their face That straight away You can sum them up

Where they're going Oh, well this isn't the one This would be a waste of time You know because Quite often it's Those first impressions Right But I must have already had

A little bit of the look That they were hoping for And then Darren Morgan He's the director and writer Of this episode And he's sitting there And before I started the audition He gave me the full backstory

Of this character And he must have talked For about five minutes And in depth about this character That I was about to portray In an audition And I'm thinking to myself Oh man

I hope I get this Because he has revealed The entire Almost the entire plot And I'm thinking If I did a really bad audition And then after his big speech He just went

Alright, thanks mate You know but That's what my great fear was So I'm already thinking Geez, I better get this And so then I did the audition And I did a fairly good job I mean I felt comfortable about it

They enjoyed it They laughed And they also But it wasn't a big It wasn't a big funny piece It was kind of You know there was a couple Of small laughs in it

But it was more of a Sort of a serious piece And so I start to walk out Thank you very much guys It was an honour to meet you I said to you know To both of them And as I'm walking out

The guy who Was doing the off lines Ran out And he says to me Are you free for these dates And I was saying Oh that's an interesting sign You know I like

I hadn't I only just walking down The corridor And he caught up with me Are you free for these dates And I said Yeah without even Even looking at the dates

And of course I will clear the calendar Yeah Yeah basically And then I started I kept walking And then I got outside And heading in like

In the car park And he ran up to me again He just And he said He caught up with me again So he had gone back in the room And I almost felt like You know

The important chaps Had said to him You know Go and check on this So he came And he caught up with me again And he says Are you able to

Lose the moe Because I had a little Moustache going on And like I usually do And I said Yeah Yeah of course This is just

For another thing This old thing You know Of course stupid Stupid thing Yeah it's coming off Coming off this afternoon This thing

Yeah You've actually been Working on it For about ten years It's taking you about ten years Three months To get it to this length And

So I I drove home Thinking to myself I could be in With a And Got home And I think it was that same day

That I got it Wow So So there it was And I'd love to reveal A lot more about what happens Just in a nutshell

No I think we should I think we should tease this I think we should Yeah We've done the audition Throughout this podcast I'll squeeze a little bit more Information now

That's a good idea You keep them listening And in the meantime Let's move on to Our Major first section Of the podcast Our favourite

Section Weekly World Weird News Crazy Freaky Watch out The good thing about Revealing

Your X-Files story Throughout the Hour of podcast Is the lawyers From the Intellectual property Owners of X-Files Will be

Calling you Intermittently Every 15 minutes New case New case Yeah And Just as

I've actually got A little surprise For you guys A little bit later In the show I'm going to Got some gifts Because I went

To Seattle Recently And That's a big foot capital Yeah And I Realise it But

I'm into seeing these Pacific Northwest I went to the first gift shop I went to And there was a whole section On Bigfoot memorabilia And books Soft toys

Magnets You name it So I bought some things Obviously And I bought too many things And I went to The counter

And the girl said You found the Bigfoot section I see And She goes You're sure you don't want The snow globe And I said

What What What snow Snow globe And then Because I've got All these other things And I wasn't

Worried about that And then she And then she Lifted it up And showed me And there it is There is a snow globe With a big

Bigfoot in it I'll take the snow globe As well But So I got you guys some things So I'll show you A little bit later In the show as well

Okay Well that reminds me When I went to San Francisco a few Months ago I bought you two presents as well And I totally forgot about them So I'll bring them

Next podcast And I got You guys presents as well Oh thanks That's cool That's cool As well I don't have them on me now

But I've got them at home What cool city Did you go to To get us those Yeah, Hamilton Oh yeah Okay well look I don't have

News as such It's more of an update And this is something I kind of became a bit obsessed with After I'd read Stephen King's new book And I got to Googling And I wanted to see

How many projects Stephen had Stephen King had Up and coming Because obviously he writes About a lot of weird stuff So you know I'm sure we all

Have a soft spot For Stephen King So I was just going to read These are the titles That Stephen King Currently has in development Or TV or film Okay I'm just going to

List them here Cool All right We've got The mini series About the assassination Of JFK 11, 22, 63

There's something called A Rana The Breathing Method Cell Children of the Corn Creepshow 4 The Dark Tower Firestarter

Gerald's Game Grand Central In the Tall Grass I'm only halfway It The Jaunt Joyland Lysie's Story

The Long Walk Mr. Mercedes The Overlook Hotel Pet Sematary Rose Matter The Shop The Stand The Talisman

I'm not going to keep going on How many? How many? Those are all properties That Stephen King Will have money Coming in from those He's just overseeing them

He just needs to sign over The rights The 10 o'clock people The things they left behind And that's the end Of the list So all those Are things of the next

Two years Of Stephen King We're going to see Either on TV Or the big screen Which I think is Amazing Really respect

And it's a testament to the guy That he's still got all the stuff Going on It's not all great stuff You know, I think under the dome It could have been a lot better But it was entertaining It was great

I guess when it gets out of his hands And then into the hands Of those that have taken Had taken it They then Do what they will with it And often it loses a lot of its Initial

Awesomeness Completely But I'd struggle To find another writer That's got that much Sort of Going on You know, it's absolute madness

So Yeah Does he sleep at night? He's got a lot going on I'd say that guy Yeah, I don't think he sleeps a lot But the funny thing is Is that all of them

You read out Or you're reading out All that list And you go So many of those Are the cause of So many of my nightmares As a child

Yeah, thanks man Yeah This is a guy That's got a lot going on In his head A lot of Nightmarish stuff And he's like

There's so much there That he's got to get it out And Inflict the rest of the world With that With all these Horrible ideas You're coming down with me

You know what I mean Tim Curry, right Is Pennywise in the original That was just That was terrifying You know And it's going to be Remade now

So I mean That's going to be A whole new generation Of kids terrified By a clown Your kids Leon Your kids Reese You know

They'll all be terrified By that stuff David So no They won't But yeah Yeah I'm going to take my

Five-year-old To go and see the new It Let's keep them entertained I don't know Find it on the internet That's the problem Everything's available

To them now They'll be sitting there And they'll just Accidentally Write the word It Because they would Have been

Writing How old is It Or something And then Accidentally Something Yeah

I always preferred Cousin It Anyway Is I think he's better Way better What have you got?

What have you got Buttons? Well We should go to Reese first Because I'm still working on my Okay

Well Check this out guys The US government Reimbursed Buzz Aldrin $33 For his Trip to the Moon

In 1969 Okay An entire $33 Yeah So like Any other American Returning home

From a business trip Out of the country Former NASA Astronaut Buzz Aldrin Filled out an expense Report And a customs form

When he came back From the Moon Aldrin The second man To step foot On the lunar surface Recently shared The paperwork

On Facebook The records Include signatures From Aldrin And a Honolulu Customs Inspector And one of the Most unusual

Itemized Itineraries in history Florida To Moon To Pacific Ocean To Hawaii Then back home To Houston

What? The official travel voucher Also mentions The USS Hornet Which was He misspelled On the form

Idias Idias That's the ship That picked up Aldrin And the Apollo 11 crew After they landed In the Pacific

Aldrin Was reimbursed Exactly $33.31 Which is about $215 In today's Money For travel expenses Likely the costs

Of having to drive His own car To and from Allington Air Force Base In Houston, Texas That is kind of amazing, right? The guy is

Hilarious How by the book is he? He's so good You hear about the stuff By the book It's much less extreme But my mum Who's sort of pension age

Now She lived in Canada For a year And there's been all this Paperwork and phone calls Going back and forth From the Canadian government Saying she's got this pension fund

Now She got a check the other day From Canada After all these calls And all this paperwork Was a dollar In two cents And she gets

She's going to get Some people just Are by the book And they fill out forms They love forms But I'm I'm not one of those guys I can't stand it

I can't I couldn't care less What you owe me Or what I owe you I shouldn't be telling The world this It's a raise that I'm very by the book

I Now let's be honest My wife is By the book And so that's why I I haven't even seen The book

I've got to be honest with you She's got it somewhere It's got everything's written down Everything's We've got all the receipts But really I can't go near it Because I'll just

I'll have an anxiety attack And that actually brings me To another story I had an anxiety attack While I was on the X files Oh, God So here's the thing I mean, it's a high pressure job

And I'm in this hotel And I'm learning 50,000 lines Like never before Have I had so many Dialogue lines And voiceover lines Because I'm telling a story

In the episode And there's a lot to say And usually when I do comedy And stuff You know, I look at the scripts And I'll do a few lines Like they want But then I'll make the rest up

And Which is a crafty way Of getting around Having to learn the script, right? Exactly I'd learn it if it's any good But if it's not I'll just change it

So I wasn't going to do that On this Because this was a big job And I'm trusted As an actor here Then I'm not being hired As a comedian So, you know

It was stressful And here's the thing I don't know whether you guys Have had an anxiety attack I mean, it's I didn't know what it was Because I woke up In the middle of the night

1.30 a.m. Which, you know Is not the middle of the night But if you go to bed at eight It is And I felt I was in the hotel room And I felt really dizzy

And I didn't know My head was not right And I heard some weird noises Almost like Stuff like that And I think, what's wrong With my head? And the first thing I thought of

Is I've got to get some air So I ran to the hotel window And I was one of these ones Where for safety Because I was 14 floors up They don't open very far No Like, I don't know

About 10 inches Slide open slightly about that Yeah, shove your nose out I'll shove my face out of that window And I was 14 stories up And I shoved my face So if anyone was looking From a distance

Or a cleaner Or someone, you know From another I'm sick of this Shut up the window And me just with my eyes wide open I'm like breathing I'll just try

You know I never I just thought I needed air And my head was telling me Get some air So I did that And my head then was jammed Slightly

And I couldn't get it back in Oh God And I started to panic And now I can't My head is now stuck In a 14 story window I'm breathing Like, trouble breathing

I can't get my head back in the room And finally I get it back in After quite a bit of force And I sort of fall over Scream And then my next And this is the weird thing My next thing in my head to do

Is to call reception I just went to I was either going to call them Or go down to reception And tell them that I wasn't I wasn't right Because I've never been not right You know

And I thought I can't do that Why can't I get down to risk What are they going to do But that was my So I just I said to myself

No No Do something else Mind off what's going on Read Read something So then I just Started reading

A book It was one of the My cryptozoology books So I'm still I'm still struggling to get through This latest one It's you know It's not that great

But You know It's a bit of data About giant levers and things And I'm sorry And it was perfect For taking my mind off the situation Anyway

So then I went back to sleep So I managed to get back off And then the next day I told the doctor Because I said to him I had another complaint And I'll be telling you about this But later on

But I said to him As an aside Also last night I had a weird situation Where I found I wasn't myself And I stuck my head in a window And couldn't get it back out

And then I wanted to Call reception And he said It's an anxiety attack And I said What? Have you been feeling anxious lately? I said

Yes That's what it is So anyway That was it He gave me some pills And Pills fix everything The thing is

I've been fine ever since But that That was That was a real Imagine Imagine Imagine if you didn't turn up To set the next day

And everybody was like Where is it? And then you got canned from the show Because your face is stuck In the 14th You'd have a great story I was supposed to be on X-Files Yeah

I also Just got a 14 story window So quite like that It was going to be a podcast With some little X-Files teases But it's more Like Reese's medical complaints Throughout the show

Yeah So anyway No But you know what I'll tell you what Just quickly To help you with your anxiety If ever that happens again

And this is a public service announcement It's because you're shallow breathing And that's why you put your face out the window To try and get more oxygen Because you're shallow breathing And you're not taking any Real big deep breaths And getting proper oxygen

You're just going Like a little puppy dog And then you Like if you start feeling that You just go You breathe in And you go And you count to three

You go One, two, three And then you breathe in And you count to three Two, three And that's what That'll fix you right up Fix you right up

Oh, okay Okay Oh, thank you very much Yeah Anyway And that's been the cryptid factor For another one Well, it's good

That we're dealing with medical complaints now Yeah, it's good It's good Okay My turn For news My weekly WorldWare news Is quite sad

It's the first recorded Murder of a robot In the world Oh, no Yeah, robot murder Has now officially happened Which is really sad And unfortunately

Happened in the city of Brotherly Love In the States Philadelphia Oh, silly Bloody, bloody, silly So this is what happened To give you the background

A little while ago A robot was created Called the Hitch-Bot And this Hitch-Bot Was a little bit of a Social experiment Put together by the Associated Press

And what they did Is they set up this little Robot with its thumb out Here's a little picture of it Here Oh, it's cute It's a cute little robot But I guess it's child size

Yeah, and it says San Francisco or bus Can you see that there? Race Oh, yeah Look at him Very cute What a cool dude

Yeah, it's kind of Between a minion And the robot from Lost in Space Anyway, this little Hitch-Bot Successfully travelled Around Canada

Germany The Netherlands Got all the way around Got all the way to Philadelphia And was heading on its way To San Francisco And people had been This little thing

Has basically sat there With its thumb out And people would come along Pick it up Drop it off And it was basically Hitch-hiking its way Around the world

So, and then if you see here There's people taking Pictures of them Whether they're on Overseas Oh, airports And everything Journeys

Yeah, translations Or on the place Lots of pictures of little Kids with it You see here And there's pictures You know, people started Writing messages on it

Everything And then it gets to Philly Got to Philly What happened? Bloody Philly Vandals got it Vandals were The bastards who picked it up

And then This is what happened to it It got damaged And vandalised beyond Repair Look at that sad picture there, Rhys This would be up in our Facebook page It's unbelievable

What do these vandals Have against robots? I love this tweet Canada's hitch-hiking robot Lasts just two weeks in the US Before getting decapitated Robot murder America

You've got to, you know You're great But you've got a few issues Occasionally That's the problem is They've got too many issues And a lot of them seem To be involved with violence

No So the amazing thing With this little Hitch-Bot Is that it wasn't just Like it was a junk can Full of GPS tracking Obviously it had GPS

So, you know The Associated Press Could keep track of it But it was talkative too It was basically a travelling companion It would toss out little factoids And carry out conversations You could talk to the thing

It had a little camera That randomly snapped photos About every 20 minutes To document its travels That's cool And it's now No longer It's in pieces

Who left it alone for long enough That vandals could come up And do No, but that's the thing It's on its own It's the whole experiment It was basically on its own Oh really

And people would pick it up in cars Take it and then just leave it On the side of the road Sort of propped up With its thumb out Yep And it would just carry on And someone else would get it

I may sound pessimistic But I'm surprised it lasted As long as it did really Can you imagine If they did that in New Zealand I mean, you leave anything Anywhere And within minutes

Someone's gonna shove A road cone on it And there there is That's so true Kick it It's got a little face It's got like a little happy face Which isn't so happy anymore now

It's got a little smile And like somebody's written there I can't lie I'm devastated by the death Of little hitch spot RIP little fella You know, people have moved About this

It's really sad There's also probably A conspiracy behind this If you think about it They're putting out a robot there To see as a tester What we're gonna do with it What we're gonna deal with it

How we're gonna deal with it I should say As humans And to a certain degree It was loved It was handed on Particularly in Canada I believe

Which is, you know Some of the most friendliest people On the planet Canadians, you know They certainly, you know Too friendly Yeah, they're lovely And they're, you know

They're nice with it And they pass it on And, you know, as you would do And gets to the States Smash that fucker up Get rid of it You know, it's, you know Who's is it, you know

It's kind of like It's sad But it's perhaps A good sociological experiment I'd like to see the same thing Happen in every country And see how long these things last That's true

That's a good point Because, you know This could just be The start of it I mean, now they might Next year We might find What if you're

They just distribute 250,000 of these things That was just the beginning It's true, that It's true Yeah, also If you don't smash one up How do you know that

In the future It's not going to, you know Have an explosive device In it or something So if you go to graffiti it Remember, they used to Be the case with Kit When you try and break

Into a Knight Rider's car Yeah Well, these alarms went off And he He distributed some smoke Or something Yeah, I think he had A few defense mechanisms, didn't he?

Evil Kit was worse Evil Kit Evil Kit Okay, so this Not as bad as Evil Buttons What was his name? Zips Zips!

When's he coming back? This is my favourite episode If you guys are just listing in We did an episode where Buttons wasn't here But Zips turned up He was like the Leather jacket

Wearing Cool dude Badass version of Buttons He turned up looking so badass one day I even had a Leather little Biker hat Like they were in gay clubs

Did we take a photo of Zips? It's so weird What were we doing that day? Never again No, that was in the early days That was his That was his alter ego I was finding myself

Back in those days It'd be good to get him once If we get the TV show We'll definitely have to have Zips appear one week I can fight myself Or do one of those green screens Yeah

There's something slightly off About Buttons It's Zips from another realm How did you do it? It was this gay little Leather biker hat That's how I gave it away Yeah

That was terrible But he was good He actually did all the work Like all the Computer work was done on time It was competent The show was produced perfectly Yeah, but what would you prefer?

What would you prefer? Let's face it, come on He didn't hug us He was quite cold Which one would you prefer? Okay, let's take a vote Definitely Buttons Definitely Buttons

Thank you Okay, well, shall we move on to Yeah, the cryptid buzz Attention, all personnel It's time for this week's cryptid Help me I think the most important thing That's jumped out at me this week

There was a lot of news going around That this Loch Ness monster Fanatic Had given up on Nessie entirely Because he basically thought That it was probably just a big Old catfish

Do you remember seeing this story Floating around? Yes, certainly did All I wanted to do was a little Update on that And that he has Come out in public and said No, he has not given up on Nessie

At all He got misreported a few times And he thought that Sure, it's a theory It could be a giant catfish But by no means was at the end Of the story And he's definitely going to keep

Looking for Nessie And looking at other theories And exploring it So he definitely wanted to say On the record That he doesn't think that Nessie Is definitely not An unknown creature of some kind

No He was just giving a theory Which I think is a good theory He was But the news media latched on to it His quotes sped around And by the time I reached CNN

Or wherever it was It was basically That's amazing World's most dedicated Loch Ness monster To see his Loch Ness monster Does not exist Isn't it crazy? It's a great fish

So you gotta double check the news Don't always believe What you're hearing Is it less than that? Go to the official cryptid sites They're not going to lie to you Cryptozoology.com Cryptomundo

No, keep with the little guys They're honest They're keeping it real So that was the bit of news I really wanted to put out there You can trust us We don't You can trust cryptid factor

Our news is legit We're the most trustworthy Reese What's been catching your eye This week? Well, there's a new video Has surfaced about Bishopville's

Lizardman He has returned We don't hear about Lizardman Very often Yeah, the fabled Bishopville Swab creature Known as

Lizardman Appears to have surfaced again So we've got Sarah A Sumter woman Who says She went to church With a friend

Sunday morning Which was lovely to hear Stepped out of the sanctuary To see the Lizardman Running along the tree line A bit of a shocking sight Quite intriguing that For her, obviously a churchgoer

You know, was at church Sunday morning Left, obviously, you know Went through the procedures of church And all that happens there Singing, praying That's a wonderful experience Believing in the Lord and whatnot

And then out you come And the first thing you see Is a Lizardman Running through the trees So that's going to be A bit of a juxtaposition for her There's nothing, I mention Of those in the Bible

But there you go She did what anyone else would do She took a photo with her phone Good honor And here's a quote from her My hand to God I am not making this up So this is great

Because she, you know She's put her hand to God there So I'm Very moral She's, you know She believes that This is for reals She's put

She sent an email to ABC News So excited She says They were just a mile or so From a scape or swamp That's scape or O-R-E Swamp

The sight of a similar spotting Of what may also be the Lizardman In May So this is a recurring vision A man who asked Not to be identified Submitted a short video And we'll put this up on the side

Of what he thought was The Lizardman Monday morning I've looked at this video And I looked at it many times Could only see trees But there's something There to have a look for yourself He said he took the video in May

While Coon hunting But kept its existence quiet Until he saw the reports of Lizardman's Lizardman outside a church I saw your Lizardman story And it's given me the courage To send you a video I took in early May

Though my wife believes me That it's real She said she would be embarrassed That everyone would think I was a loon So I kept it secret It's always the old adage isn't it The old nervous that everyone

Will think you're crazy Adage Can't we move on from that And this is the thing I reckon we could probably prove that Bigfoot is real by the amount Of sightings that would be had by If everybody came forward

Who had actually seen it But of course there's a stigma against Coming out and saying you've seen it So I imagine there's probably Thousands of sightings If you're sitting on footage of a Lizardman Or a Chupacabra A Mothman or a Bigfoot

Come out Come out Come out We're living in 2015 My point earlier in the episode here Where I'm talking about What X-Files has done for the world They've proven that it's okay

To speak up these things So these things do happen They are real And you know That's why that show was You know Arguably the most popular TV show Completely

In the world At that time Because we do want to believe We want to believe You know that's why The cryptid factor is so popular We've got over 100 listeners now I mean this is the

So I've got those figures wrong 98 listeners now And I think You know this proves again and again That we're on the right subject matter This is really what's happening He heard noises Turned to see a seven foot beast

Charging at him So he ran for the safety of his car The Lizardman jumped on the roof As Davis tried to drive away There were scratch marks on the roof And one on the side mirror And the legend was born The Lizardman

And that's an early sighting 17 year old Davis Back in the day 1988 The summer That was the first sighting In the summer of 88 The Lizardman

Are they getting you to do The music on the X-Files with that? Yeah, I've been brought into a booth So that's actually a bit of a giveaway there That's one of the In the show But as I said I'm going to give little bits away

As we go through tonight's podcast Hey so Just with that story Turns out Who believes that Lizardman is actually Alien Life form

Come here Good question Well I think More than likely Yes Because obviously You've got your reptilian

Aliens That people There's seven different types of aliens You've got your You've got your grays You've got your insectoids Which are the ones that often look like Praying mantises

And these are just from abduction stories From eye-witnesses Who have been either captured Or seen various different types There's reptilian types There's other really weird ones With really long arms and legs That don't make any sense whatsoever

Are you sure this is from eye-witnesses Or from men in black? Either way Either way You know I'm talking movies Fiction and non-fiction You've got to take everything into account So yeah

I mean it's certainly not Of this world is it I mean it's not It's like To be some sort of hybrid And I say the same thing With your tubercobra That it originally came from outer space

And in bread without reaches And I think If we believe in aliens And we believe they are coming here From different places That some of them are being left behind Like the story of E.T. came from You know I mean it's kind of

One that got left behind And all of a sudden Is you know Fucks a goat or something And then you fuck goat It could be that It could be that Well it just makes me remind

It just makes me remember The TV series Which seems to have faded into obscurity But the TV show V Remember that It was pre You know they made that In the 90s

They remade it They made V Yeah the reptilian's coming in And taking over the world Yeah they remade it Did they remake it? It definitely hasn't even gotten Yeah it was on TV in New Zealand I think

It didn't rate that highly It wasn't as good as the original The original was amazing The original was really good I've got it on DVD I'll give it to you for a little present I've got the collector card series From the 1980s version

That's pretty cool I've got the whole set The whole collector card set I'll bring it in That's really dope actually That's awesome Look just really quickly My final bit of crypto news

And it's a cheap shot And you know I don't want to go into sort of Smutty news But there's a headline That caught my eye Woman claims to be in sexual relationship With Bigfoot

Trying for a baby Yeah I read about this We should talk about this I mean we'll tick it off Nancy Hoggett A resident of Washington State Surprisingly not Florida Where a lot of these stories come from

Claims she's involved with Bigfoot sexually She's apparently being in a romantic relationship With the mythical Sasquatch Since 2008 The article said mythical Not my words there And they're trying for a baby Now it gets interesting

She said that she first encountered Bigfoot While tending to her Marijuana plot It gets bigger It gets bigger I pointed Credibility there She could have changed

That part of the story She lost a few points With me there Yeah First quote I pointed my shotgun at him And he put up his hand Scared

That's when I looked down and noticed He had a huge erection between his legs Oh god It's always getting erection When you get a gun pointed at you Always Always Bigfoot erection

I actually have never ever thought about that before That's the first time my brain has ever Considered Yeah Bigfoot getting an erection I don't think I want to go there again I mean it's got to be a huge appendage Yeah I mean the article goes into sort of

I mean the article to be honest It's from thehollywoodgossip.com I don't know whether really We should believe it to be honest But they are expecting a child This show has covered off actual Dolphin sex in the past And that was real

That was real That was real I think look We should follow this up If they're having a child I mean I think it's worth Maybe investigating Like getting her on the phone

And getting this out of her Yeah When I say that I mean the baby I mean I want that thing I want to see what it looks like And if it comes out covered And fur

Then yep Okay you're telling the truth Could just be a hairy human baby You know You never know I was quite a hairy human baby apparently Oh god You probably don't need that

All right Okay my piece of My piece of Well my piece of Crypto news Which I've been relatively excited about Is as usual An old piece of

News So it's new news No but it's old news That has just come to light So it's news Turning back the clock Olds We call that

It's old It's not news Classic stories with buttons Oh This is definitely not news It's not that stories are old It's just that his computer Is from the 70s

And so when he When he logs on Which takes a day and a half These are the These are the items that come up And he's also back on Criticalbelievers.proboards.com Shut up

All my mates are in All my mates are in this All my mates are in this What have you got What have you got Okay So 2012 Piece of news

That has just come to light Because Oh it's just come to light Well The police officer Who is reporting this news Has been Was been too scared to come forward

And acknowledge this Because this is exactly What we're talking about for For fear of being You know judged Or Being criticised Or even losing his job

So he's finally just come out now And admitted that in 2012 In Edinburgh Whilst in a helicopter Assisting with a search and rescue For a missing woman Spotted with his own eyes A big cat

And he is Unequivocably said He saw this big cat It was three times the size Of a female police officer And I thought That was a really strange use of Measurement

Yeah He obviously had one of his fellow Cop buddies on his mind But somebody's got a crush on And he was thinking about Susan Oh it should look good in a cat suit How big is your backyard That's about

Four and a half female police officers About Yeah New form of measurement Is a particularly dodgy form of measurement No But the reason why he Has permitted this dodgy form of measurement

Is because While he was up in the helicopter He saw first of all The heat sensor You know The infrared heat sensor Equipment Show up

What he saw was Thought was a human So He had a female police officer On the ground Oh right So he started guiding this police officer In towards this heat signal

Oh yeah He then swicks the heat signal off To see what it was Saw a big cat Huge big cat He thinks it was a puma That he's making an estimate That it was a puma

But he said it was definitely there And it was definitely huge But the worst part was He was guiding this Female police officer Towards that And so Once he realized what it was

He told this Female police officer To stay calm And stay exactly where she was Without telling her Exactly what was down there Because he didn't want to freak her out And then he said

The cat was very very close to her He says He estimated about three times The size of her It was huge He just told her to calmly stop Where she was And turn around and walk away

Which she did And the cat bounded off Never to be seen again Unfortunately They weren't rolling the video cameras That they had in the helicopter So they don't have video footage of it Well that's

That's exciting That could have ended very badly Very badly But then at least Would have proof Yeah Well I know it would have proof That a female police officer

Was torn to shreds by a puma But Yeah I mean there's no doubt That these Alien big cats If you want to call them that These ABCs

Yeah Exist They're one of the best cryptids Because There's not really There's not a hell of a lot of mystery About them We know that they're cats

That have been released At some point Throughout time And are living in the wild On their own And they get sighted Quite often And it's good to have a police officer

To see one Now Yeah But see the interesting thing With that is right Is that This is a really Great proof point

For all the other cryptids For the O-ring Pendex And the And the And the And the And the

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of all animals. They are aware of us. They know where to hide and when to prowl. They only come out at night. I mean, they're silent. That's where the term, you know, was swift and silent as a panther. Of course. And of course, creatures like, you know, you can't put that past something like a Bigfoot, because of course, Bigfoot no doubt hides as well, you know. Yeah. Exactly. Bullshit anyway.

Just a quick bit of X-Files. A quick bit of X-Files. Something else from set. Okay. I fought David DeCophany. We got into a fight. It was all part of the show, but I've never, you had done an action kind of fight situation. And I cut myself. And I ended up, I had to get stitches. What? This is day one on the show. Oh my God. What sort of fight? Tell us about it, but we want to know what it was.

Just the Festy Cuffs, you know, just a, this year classic pull and shove. Suddenly you're bleeding. Yeah. There was a weapon involved and I got, I cut myself. I got, I got two into the roll. And did you actually have like a stunt guy come and show you what to do? I had, there was a stunt woman who sort of briefly sort of said, okay, when you, when you push him there, he's going to roll there, pull and push like that. But I was expecting, you know, a bit more tuition. I was a bit expecting maybe someone would jump in and do a body swap, but it's not how it rolls, man.

So you were rushed, you were rushed off for medical attention. Well, no, no, it took about half an hour to someone to eventually turn up with a band-aid. But I was strongly advised. I tell you the funny story is I didn't really need stitches. I was like, it'll be alright. That'll heal. But the doctor came on set and I think he was, he was, I think he got paid extra if he actually did some work. So he took me into my trailer and he says, I tell you what, you know, you don't need stitches, but I think I'm going to give you them anyway. And he injected me, hurt like bloody hell if you've ever had been injected in your fingers. And then, and then he started sewing, sewing me together,

you know, and then while he's doing that, I'm looking at this freaking out, you know, if I don't, we've had such, you know, look quite close up stitching my skin together with a needle and stuff. And he goes, so how's it all been going? You know, how's your day been? You know how my day's been, man. I've just cut myself. I nearly died. But I said to him, look, actually, I'm ex-army, you know, this, this happens all the time. I was a soldier and he didn't believe that. He says, well, why did you, if you were, if you were ex-army, why did you even bother getting help, you know, for, for, for what's virtually a nick, a slight nick? Anyway, I got, I got, I got fixed up and, and he's the same guy that

I spoke to the next day about the, my, my anxiety. And I tell you a lot of my army buddies will laugh at me for, for being such a pussy. But, you know, I was in another realm. I wasn't myself, you know? You're in another realm. Well, look, Reese, we so look forward to seeing these, these new ex-files episodes, one of which we'll have you and it, our friend and podcaster. And this is just, I'm so excited for you. It's so cool. I'm excited for me as a fan of the ex-files to watch this. It's just incredible. And it's big for the cryptid factor. You know, we need to, we need to get out there now into Hollywood. We need to pitch this show because it's so hot right now. You know, we want to, we want to, while the iron is hot, while I'm on a show

like the ex-files, we, we, we want to make this, make, take advantage of this and get our show on air as well. And we need you to fans. We need you to, we need all your support. We need you to come with us for the, the pitching sessions. We need a queue of people outside dressed as various cryptids with signs. Look guys, thanks for tuning in to get another episode of the Cryptid Factor. We hope to be back with you shortly. We've got crazy schedules or mainly Reese's got a crazy schedule. But we hope to be back soon. Thanks for listening. I've been David. I've been buttons.

And I've been Reese Darby. Thanks everybody, everybody. Thanks everybody, everybody. Bye! The Cryptid Factor with Reese Darby and David Fatterer. The Cryptid Factor