The Cryptid Factor - 22: #022 The 'There Can Only Be Three' Issue

Episode Date: June 27, 2017

Its been a long time coming, but this is a pivotal issue of the cryptidfactor! Who is Dan Schreiber? And why is there now a battle on who survives the cryptidfactor showdown? Is this Buttons last show? To boot, there's the usual news on the weird, wonderful and hidden - including an orange croc/gator, some senators fighting for bigfoot, whilst others ban him, dolls that are spying on the German public and some ancient life in 'Fairy-hell' caves.

The Quintet Factor, with Rhys Darby and David Fadriar. Well hello and welcome to another fabulous episode of The Cryptid Factor. I'm David. Hi David. And I'm Rhys Darby. Hi Rhys Darby. And there's Buttons. And Buttons, it's your birthday today. Oh is it?

And we've actually organised something pretty special for your birthday. Honestly Rhys do you want to let Buttons know about his little surprise? Yes well I think it's been a long time coming but Buttons I know the one thing that means more to you than anything in the world is to one day perhaps have your name in the titles of The Cryptid Factor. Oh no. So what I have done today is the day we have gone and researched who actually came up with the title sequence and the voiceover. We've tracked him down. Yeah.

And he's Really? Yep. He's living in the UK and he has agreed to add a name to the titles. Oh my goodness. Oh guys this is probably my best birthday ever. This is better than when my dad gave me a sewing machine when I was eight years old. Wow.

This is like, it's a special day. I mean how old are you Buttons? I'm, look at you. You can't ask that question. Do you want to hear the new song? I would love to. The song better not have changed. That song's amazing.

Now the song's here. The titles have changed. So look, let's roll it. This is for your birthday. Happy birthday. Happy birthday man. Oh my God. Thank you.

What the f... Hang on. Yeah. My name's Buttons. It's not even my real name. It's not Dan... What the hell is Dan Shriver? Dan Shriver.

Yeah that's... Well. Oh that's... I don't know what's happened there. I think there's been a communication issue. Oh I don't think he got the instruction right. Well who's... Well who's the...

Oh no. What? Actually guys. Yeah. I'm just looking through the records here and some of the... Yeah some of the... I'm back dating some of the ideas and laws that we put down in the original contract. Yeah.

You're not going to believe this but unfortunately if you're named in the title sequence you are officially part of the show. But... Well but hang on that means I'm not even officially... Dan has got himself into the show. Yeah. Yeah he wrote... What?

He wrote the theme song which is nice but... What? And he read... Obviously Rhee was going to re-jig it with Buttons name but that wasn't the intent. Can look can we bring Dan in on this? Dan are you there? Hey. Hey guys.

What? Dan. Very excited to be part of the theme tune guys. Thank you so much. Oh Dan there he is. Oh fantastic. Well there's been some sort of loophole here. A dimensional rift as it were and it appears you're now...

You've usurped yourself into the show. Oh guys what about me? This is bullshit. I've been part of the show from the very start. Now I'm not even officially part of the show and now Dan's officially part of the show and I'm not even official. Sorry Buttons mate. There's also a line in the contract here.

No more than three people really should be on here. Now we might have to lose you Buttons I think. I knew this would happen. This is a real turn up for the book. This is total bullshit. Oh guys please it's my birthday too. This is the worst birthday ever. This went from the best birthday in the whole world to the worst.

I tell you what we'll ignore the laws at the moment. Let's have all four of us on this show and then we'll work out what we're going to do at the end. Is this going to be a showdown as they say? Let's see how the show goes. At the end of it we'll see who did the best they get to stay. The worst person they have to leave. Oh that's good. But the problem with that is...

You're always so good there's no way you're going to drop off. Yeah but the problem is guys about this Dan Shriver guy pretending to not know who he is. He's actually a freaking amazing cryptozoologist, podcaster, TV star. He's like... I've just googled him now. He's even got his own Wikipedia page. Is he going to Wikipedia page? He's seriously... Wow okay.

Well it is a step up. Sorry Buttons. I told you Buttons you should have got a Wikipedia page years ago. I thought you said MySpace. You can make your own. I got a MySpace page instead. Huge mistake mate. Huge mistake. Yeah but you've got to have content don't you?

You've got to have something to put on there and Buttons... I just don't know what you'd add. What do you mean I don't know what I'd add? I've had like... I know how to fix the brakes on an eight wheeled Argo. I did that yesterday. I could put that on my Wikipedia page. I also know how to mow a lawn and get those criss-crossy lines.

He's one of the South Pacific's most extreme handymen. Buttons I'll give you a mention on my Wikipedia page. I'll say you appeared on an episode of The Cryptid Factor with me. Oh that's nice. Oh Dan. Thank you so much. See at least Dan's a very giving person. None of you have ever mentioned me on your Wikipedia pages.

I've looked. I've gone and checked it out. Thank you Dan. I really appreciate that. Look Dan do you just want to... We all know you well but do you just want to possibly introduce yourself for the people tuning in here? Who are you?

What are you doing? We know you've written the theme song. Yeah that was my buddy wrote most of it. I wrote the voice bit where I said your names. It was my friend Ash who wrote the theme tune. I've known Reese for about 10 years maybe a bit more. We met over a love of Yetis and in the 10 years since I've been on my own adventures trying to look for Yetis.

I almost went on a massive world adventure with Brian Blessed. Do you guys know Brian Blessed? Yes of course. Yeah beautiful, beautiful man. Hawk man. Beautiful man. We were meant to go on a world trip looking for Yetis and dinosaurs in Venezuela. He's an incredible guy.

If anyone listening doesn't know who he is he's an actor but he also is an insane human who claims that when he almost got to the top of Everest once that he actually survived an oncoming avalanche by yelling it into another direction. It's his sort of survival skills that he brings to his situation. Wow that is amazing. He does have a big voice. He's the one person I could believe would do that. He's got a huge voice yeah.

He claims to be, he says that he is the world leader Yeti expert. Now I don't know if that's true. I don't know if that's something he's made up but he's full of incredible facts. I've learned so much about Yetis from him. He told me that it's easier to escape a female Yeti than it is a male Yeti. Do you guys know the reason? Is this a well known fact? I'm guessing I think I know.

No. I think it's the boobs. It is the boobs. They have such long dangling boobs. They need to throw them over their shoulders and tie them up like a scarf. Otherwise they might trip on them when they're chasing you. Wow. According to Brian Blessed and Reese has heard this as well.

No. Are you kidding me? This is amazing. It's just, you know what that makes me think of? That makes me think of that song. And he's saying, so do they wobble too? Do you tie them in a knot? Do you tie them in a knot?

Go, Daniel. Sing the rest. I think you're doing a good job. That old classic school tune. Yeah. That's what they were writing about. I think that's probably it. Nobody joined me in for song then.

Look, can I just button here? It's wonderful to have you on the show, Dan. We've always been in cahoots with each other and got up to mischief. Dan was responsible also for my first stand-up DVD. He was a producer on that. And so I owe you a lot, I guess, for getting me on the map with my stand-up. Thank you so much for that. And I think it's also worth pointing out at this point that with our listeners on the show right now,

we are coming at you from three continents. Is that right? I'm coming to you from LA recording. The Los Angeles continent. We've got guys in New Zealand. Yeah, we're in the New Zealand. We're in the Auckland continent. Where are you, Dan?

I'm in Crystal Palace in London. Crystal Palace is right next to the first-ever dinosaur park in the world. South London. Wow. Yeah, it's awesome. Yeah, you win. You win. Yeah, screw you.

We're next to a disused stadium, which used to be used for the hop, skip, and jump nationals. But now they don't do the hop, skip, and jump. So it's down just... I mean, it's not a dinosaur park. I think a lot of people skipped those nationals. And that's just an example of the sort of jokes that come, you know, like just a machine gun off it. I mean, I've got to hold back on the trigger on these kind of gags. You'll learn that, Dan.

You've got to be quick. I mean, I think it's probably quite important after a gag like that, probably to get in cracking to the show proper. Yeah. Probably check out some weekly, some weekly World Weird News. That's a great idea. Okay, so, Dan, just to give you a little bit of a rundown. I'm sure you've heard the show before.

But this is a big competition here. The headlines is where it's all won. But first of all, we need the... The wee sting. Here we go. Weekly World Weird News. Crazy. Freaky.

Watch out. All right. So we have a headline off. I will begin this round. Man spent 25 years searching... Oh, no. That's a different one. Oh, oh, oh.

I really messed it up. He's messed it up. Biologist finds a weird cave life that may be 50,000 years old. Yeah. I've heard that. I read that. And I was like, that's not good enough for weekly World Weird News. Okay, you go then.

Not when there's a headline like... Jip. Hang on. New watch. My online shopping's just come up. Hang on. Sorry. Oh, God.

It's not even. Hang on. Hang on. Wait. Wait. Here comes... Guys. Okay.

German government. German government tells parents to destroy dolls over spying fears. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. It's pretty good. I heard about that. Okay, Reese. I mean, I've got...

There's so much to talk about. Let's go with this one. Dubai will get its first taste of the future this year with self-flying taxis. Oh, yeah. Oh. You heard about that? Hello. We're in the future.

Yeah, that's exciting. I've got one which is that scientists are two years away now from bringing a mammoth into life. Brilliant. I've heard about that too. That's really good. That's really good. Okay.

Well, those are great headlines. Because mine was the most rubbish. I'll just get it out of the way. In Mexico, they found a cave. It's very hot, but it's also beautiful. So it's nicknamed both fairyland and also hell. Fairy hell. Fairy hell.

But basically, there's life inside. There's little cells in there that could be 50,000 years old. So, look, the scientists are very excited about that. Wow. But, you know, I read this headline now, and I think it's actually, you know, I mean, it's exciting, but it's not the... I think we should move on. All right.

There's no... Come on. No, it's good. There's some old life in a cave. Come on. Isn't life in the crystals? Aren't they in these huge sort of Superman-looking Krypton crystals? Yeah.

No, they are. They are cool-looking crystals, actually. You're right. It's gone on my article after everyone's said... Oh, it's a good article, David. They're still active. They might not be dead. That's the thing.

And, you know, when you get into life that's that old and you're thinking about bringing that back, I mean, you know, should we bring it back? You know, should we open those crystals? Should we get that life free? Or should we just leave it in the past? You know, that's what scientists are debating. Wow. They learnt that lesson after the old Jurassic Park, didn't they?

We didn't learn how to listen then because we made Jurassic Park two and then three. Yeah. I think if something can be done, then it should be done. Knock those crystals open. Free that life. Yeah. Okay, what I'm going to do, Rhys, I'm going to bring one of those crystals to your house. I'm going to bring it into your lounge and I'm going to knock it open in the middle

of your lounge and then see how you feel about it. Then have your kids lick it. Well, look, I think this transitions nicely into Dan's mammoth story. So let's hear about that because that's about bringing relics from the past back to life. Very Jurassic Park. I knew when Jurassic Park came out that this was going to happen at some point. Here we go, the latest news. This is going to happen in our lifetime.

I can't wait. What does it say, Dan? Yeah, so this is the idea that they think they can bring a woolly mammoth back. The idea is that they're going to mix the genes of what they have a woolly mammoth with an Asian elephant. So they're effectively creating a mammoth and the idea is that up until now, they've been stopping at the cell stage and they haven't yet created the embryos. So they think in the next two years, they're going to create the embryos.

It doesn't necessarily mean they're going to start growing the mammoth yet, but it means that they think they definitely can and we can bring them back. It's weird because the Asian elephant seems to be going extinct, so they're thinking that by doing this, they'll be able to give it a sort of alternative new life as a mammoth. So they're bringing the woolly mammoth back and they're saving the Asian elephant. Wow. Wow. That's amazing.

What's this thing going to look like? Is it going to be more elephant or more mammoth? What are we talking here? Yeah, it's more elephant, definitely. I think it's going to look like an elephant, basically. It's a bit of a let down. That is a bit of a let down. I was expecting something.

Those massive tusks are just huge and go out sideways. They're like monstrous things. Yeah. Imagine the pianos you could make. Imagine having a piano with the keys made out of mammoth tusk. Just going to breathe these and slaughter them for their tusk. I think you might get the shaggy hair, though, and they'll probably be better in the cold. You can put them in the cold and they'll be like, this is cool.

And their ears will be a bit smaller. So there will be a few changes, but I don't think they're going to be ginormous. Yeah, so they won't be the size of the original mammoths. But that's still cool, and the best part about that is giving further life to the Indian elephant, to a species that is very endangered. Yeah, and they seem to be, because we might get a bunch of these. You could almost start a sort of a Jurassic Park style zoo, because Jack Horner has been working on the chickenosaurus for a while as well.

Jack Horner was the guy who is one of the world's leading paleontologists, and he was the dinosaur expert on the Jurassic Park movies. Oh, wow. And he thinks that we can bring dinosaurs back through chickens and to create the chickenosaurus. So he's working on that while the mammoth is happening. It could be an awesome time ahead. Oh, yeah. Absolutely.

As science keeps evolving, the possibilities are becoming endless, and it's becoming more and more exciting. Wouldn't I say two years? I mean, that sounds quite optimistic, but then this next article that I have here, which people are getting very optimistic with there. Hey, this is going to happen in the next five minutes type scenario, and that's announcing that this year, Dubai are going to have taxis that fly pilotless taxis.

So these are drones that you sit in. Oh, man. And technology is almost moving too fast for us, because we're kind of like, really? Who's going to be the first to sit in one of those? So you sit in it. It's essentially like those drones that we've all seen, and you sit in it.

It takes one person. I think it might take one or two, and there's a little panel in front of you that is just touch screen, and you touch where you want to go on the map, and then it just flies there for you. I mean, I can see how that definitely is happening, but it still seems a little too fast, right? Yeah.

It's exciting. It's freaking exciting. You know the thing I'm most excited about with it is that the thought of dropping my kids off to school, like George Jetson, is just, I want that to happen in my lifetime, and my kids are growing up. They need to, so this is really exciting.

I remember growing up, kind of going, imagine that flying there, and dropping, like, you know, his son Hudson, and they go down to, I always had dreamt of that, and now we're getting really close, close, which I'm really excited about, I'll just put it out there now, I'll be the test

pilot for that if they need somebody, I'll do that. But here's the problem, I've just had a look here, they're going to be single passenger only and they can travel 31 miles at a speed of up to 99 miles per hour. That's super fast. That's really fast. That's really fast. Wow. But they've also, this week, haven't they announced their plans for Mars to colonize

Mars? Dubai, with no space program, has suddenly said we have a whole colony ready to be set up in the year 2117. Who's announced this? This is Dubai. They've released plans saying we're going to colonize Mars. Oh wow. What's up with Dubai?

Yeah, Dubai's going for it this week. What's quite out of the blue? I've got to say, if I had to live on any colony built by any nation, Dubai, living in a desert, see what they do in a desert, there's no water there and they've got golf courses and palm trees and like if anybody could make Mars a kick-ass place, surely it'd be the Dubai land. They'd have to take naming rights, which is fine, but they've got to do something now that there's not the, because all these electric cars and electric powered drone taxis and

everything, they're starting to go, well, there's no money from oil anymore, is there? So they've got to take over Mars and stuff. I may be wrong on this, but that's ... That's good. Cool. They know how to live in a desert. Yeah. It's creating competition and it's making us, as humanity as a whole, get to the future

quicker because people are fighting over who's going to be the one who creates these things because then you get the money for it. I mean, whoever patents these successful drone taxis, then they're going to be distributed around the world and that money is going to be used for, I guess, for Dubai to advance their Mars colony plans. Yeah. So it's good for all of us. I mean, like I said to you, things are moving so fast and here's the problem, a moral aspect

to it all. As humans, our morals, our sensibilities aren't moving as fast as technology because, I mean, what are we doing? Well, we're watching things like Stranger Things on TV and we're kind of going, hey, wasn't the 80s cool, you know, and we're ... Our mentality is we're still kind of rocking around on BMXs and, you know, listening to vinyl, yet we're supposed to step forward and accept that, hey, it's going to be fine to sit in this pilotless drone that takes me at a 99 mile an hour speed.

No probes, man. I mean, there's a lot of trust. You don't even have pilotless cars yet in Dubai. No. A 99 mile an hour drone. They're skipping that. They're skipping that. Just going straight to pilotless drones.

They're like, why bother with cars on the road? No, I think I admit this very weird story, some very weird stories there. I think we can all give those a thumbs up. Well, apart from the fact that you haven't heard my one yet, you can see where this is going. Tell us about your stupid drone. Guys, I can see where this is going. It's his birthday.

There's only room for three. Is there? There's only room for three. We'll only hear your three stories. Oh, I can get there. No, go on. Okay. I'll tell you about my drone.

Bloody hell. Okay. Well, the German government, the secret service people of the German government have actually put out an official request for parents to destroy a doll called my friend Kayla for fears that people could be using the dolls as spies. Wow. Okay. So there's this, I'll show David here now because he's sitting next to me in the...

I mean, it's a creepy looking, I mean, it's a typical doll. It's a bit weird. But I've got to say, there's something weird with those eyes that do look like they're looking at you a bit funny. I'll see you guys a copy of it so you can see how scary Kayla is as well. But Kayla is a present that was a hot Christmas favorite that went out there and there's thousands upon thousands of them in Germany now. And a security expert has found that this doll, which is connected to the internet and

can answer questions by connecting to the internet and then answering your questions. So little kids can say, I don't know, how do I make cookies? And then Kayla, my friend Kayla will perk up and sort of maybe read you out a recipe. I don't know. I haven't had a play with one yet. I'm hoping to get one for my birthday. David hasn't given me his present yet, so there's still a chance. These are going to go like hotcakes.

Yeah. But the problem is, is that the security on them is so bad that they are actually genuinely worried that they've been put out there into the marketplace with the ability for hackers to easily get in. And obviously, the really bad part of it is watching kids, you know, sit there and have conversations with little kids and we can know where that can go. And that goes dark really quickly. Also, they're just really worried that they're going to be used as for spying.

There's a lot of toys that get banned from British government buildings for that exact reason. They think that all these toys that have any kind of talkback feature to them or anything keep getting hacked and they keep bringing them in. So there's a big list of things you're not allowed to take in and Theresa May, Prime Minister of Britain banned smart watches from being taken into any government meeting now because those can be hacked too, they think. So all toys are a big thing for hacking.

Yeah, little ears, hey, little eyes and ears just all over the world, aren't they? The one thing I do, enemy the state, that Will Smith film, we all remember that, don't we? We do, but the one thing I've got to say to all of this is that's fair enough. Be worried about the dolls and destroy the dolls. Burn the dolls. Do you have a hot take? No, but you can go as far as saying the German government, you know, those laptop things

with microphones and cameras, people can hack those and they have done, you know, where they go, you know, people, you know, all of a sudden have people watching you on your little camera on your laptop and stuff because you don't want to put it on your way. I'm always wondering who's watching back at me. I know. That little camera. Yeah. It's quite often me, David.

I've seen you watch pornography quite a bit. Everybody's watching. You're always worried about that, aren't you? You're trying to find things to cover up your camera, you know? Yeah, I did. It's a real panic. I'm actually not, that might, that may just be you. What is that?

It does actually look like a sticker. I always put my, I always cover my camera. That tickled movie really has freaked you out, isn't it? Oh yeah, no, I know. If you've got your camera open all the time, you're crazy. Really? No, I often have that covered up. Yeah, if I'm on the computer doing stuff, it is.

Yeah, I've started. How do you cover up your camera though? Are you mean just put something over it? He's got a sticky plaster or a bit of blue tech. Like a sticker? You always. Oh no, I always. I've got blue tech that I cover it up with.

He's got, he's got. I'm looking at his laptop right now and there is a cleaner part, like the size of a small coin around his camera where, and then grubby bits, sticky grubby bits around there. I mean, it's what we all should all be doing. Like I'm surprised you're not doing it buttons, you know? It's covering up my camera. Who wants to watch me? Privacy.

Who's going to watch me? He's not even on Wikipedia. I'm not even on Wikipedia. No one wants to watch you. I'm not on Wikipedia. No one wants to watch you, mate. He's the most unwatched guy on the planet. Why?

Why am I not on Facebook? That's why I'm on MySpace. MySpace doesn't have any camera watching features, does it? Anyway, moving on, I think your article is very interesting. Thank you. Isn't the idea as well that the dolls, that when they hack it, instead of the doll saying, I love you, they can hack it so that they get the voice

to then say, Putin is powerful and wonderful and you must love him. Like they can actually put in different words into it. That too. All hail the mighty Putin. That was the worry. That was a big worry with him. Guys, how come there wasn't this worry in the 80s

when Teddy Ruckspin was around? Yes, you're right. You know what? You're right. Remember him? Yeah, my kids listen to Teddy Ruckskin and they've all sort of like... Ruckspin. They love Putin now.

They've got posters up on their wall. It's really weird. That's been pretty strange to me. All that spurned was a cool TV show. And cool was debatable. Oh, it was awesome. It was a hot air balloon. Amazing.

The other query is that, you know, where does Alexa stand in this whole debate? Because do you guys have an Alexa? One of those things that is hooked up to Amazon, you know, voice activated... Yeah, I know. You can talk to this woman. Yeah.

Say, turn the music on. Turn the lights on. Turn the TV on. Yeah, she can do everything for you. She can order products for you, tell you the weather. I mean, I got one for my birthday. I love it. Because particularly when I go away,

I've got this little thing I can just plug in and it becomes kind of like a companion. I guess it's a first generation of a sort of a robot, I guess, that can assist you or just keep you company. That's cool. You got a robot butler. Yeah, as soon as you say Alexa, it lights up and it, you know, it listens to what you're saying.

And it's quite bizarre. But if you heard about these kids that there's an Alexa in the house and so a kid will come along and just say, Alexa, I want a dollhouse. And Alexa will order a dollhouse from Amazon and it will arrive the next day. And the parents are like, who the hell bought this?

And then there's a little kid in the corner going, yay, thanks, Alexa. You know, $500 handmade dollhouse. So, you know, it's quite bizarre. This is the world we're living in right now. Yeah, that's incredible that a kid can just walk in and just talk to this robot and get them shit. All this stuff, yeah, I mean, food, anything.

And so you have to go into your settings and make sure that, you know, it only does certain things or doesn't connect to certain things. But it does accept everyone's voice. And I thought, you know, with my voice and the troubles I've had, that it would just keep saying, do not understand voice. Do not understand.

But it does. And even from a distance, it understands my bizarre accent. What are you mainly getting old Alexis to do for you, Rhys? What are you mainly ordering? I order products from Amazon and I get the news and weather. And also, I just ask it questions, like who's the most famous? Who's the funniest comedian?

Who's the most good-looking New Zealand actor? Things like that. Does it have a link directly to Wikipedia? Well, here's the funny thing. I mean, Rosie's walked in, my wife has walked in and she's gone, oh my God, you're like snow white in the bloody mirror. You know, what is that, the evil ice queen and the mirror.

That's what you've become. And I'm like, what? A lot of the questions I have for Alexa are just based on myself. The challenge for me, if I had one, I'd probably get it because I have a real problem with nobody listening to me. Like everybody has their say and then it's my turn

and then a waiter will come and interrupt me and deliver the food. And I'll be like, oh, if Alexa's there and listens to me and doesn't interrupt me, that I could get a... Buttons, can I just interrupt? Can I just interrupt here? Because I think we should move on.

I think we should move on to the next section of the show. I can see where this bloody show is going. This is a show. This is a show about cryptozoology. So your crypto buzzer, let's launch into the best crypto news of the last couple of weeks. Sting please, buttons.

Attention, all personnel, it's time for this week's Crypto... Crypto! Help me! Rhys, do you want to kick this one off? Yeah, sure. Let's have a look here. Hang on a second. Are you searching right now?

Ask Alexa. Alexa, can I have some crypto news pronto? Thank you. No, I'm just trying to find my... I'm just trying to open the right tab. That's all right, I've got something here that I almost accidentally said before. My article that I found kind of inspiring

and also sad at the same time on the old al.com was Man Who Spent 25 Years Searching for the Loch Ness Monster. Oh, yeah. And, you know, it's kind of exciting and amazing in a way that this man has committed so much time to looking for this creature. You know, he lives on the side of the lock.

It was his childhood dream to find this thing. And now 25 years later, he's still searching, but, you know, he still doesn't have a decent picture. He's in a mobile home that's not really all that mobile anymore because it's just permanently by the side of the lake on Doors Beach. And sort of to make money, he mainly sells clay models of Nessie.

So that sort of has been his life for the last 25 years. So, you know, heads up, you know, this guy, you know, respect to him, but I kind of also feel a bit sorry for him that I really want old Steve Feldman to actually finally see Nessie at some point. And I hope he gets to. So that was my news for the week. 25 years, Steve Feldman doing his thing.

Good on you. And I hope you've got some better luck soon. Oh, that's so cool. And is he still going strong? Is he is he going to continue on? Yeah, no, he is. It sounds like he's saying to you a little bit despondent about the whole thing, because it's just, you know,

I think in general, the kind of the appetite for Nessie is probably less now than it was 25 years ago. I think people have kind of moved on to other either other other cryptids or other kind of passions, but he remains right. And, you know, you've invested 25 years in something. It's it's pretty hard to walk away after that much time. Yeah, I went I went up to Loch Ness in 2014 because there was lots of news reports

that they thought Nessie was was dead. They thought that and this was this was from local Loch Ness reporters who were who had been searching for years and they were devastated. They said that everyone was getting so skeptical and so on that Nessie just wasn't appearing in any way anymore and they had no credible photos. There's a booking sort of bookies from sports over here

called William Hill and they had a competition each year for the best possible photo of Nessie. And it was the first year in 2014 that they didn't award the prize because none of the photos seem to be in any way legit. There was one, there were three that were entered that year. One was definitely a duck. Everyone, that's just a duck.

The other was a bit of water and then another was another bit of water that wasn't even Loch Ness. And I went up there because I wanted to pay respects because I thought, my God, this might be the end. It seemed like it was dying. But you get up there and there's people looking and there's shops everywhere selling Nessie merch and everyone's keen about it.

So hopefully it hasn't dropped off too much. But my opinion is that you still get news reports. You still get sightings. There's been some in the last year or so satellite images and there was one very recently of an image that looked to be like a giant eel thrashing about in the Loch. So I think the mystery does continue there. But it's such a needle in a haystack situation

that one guy living on the side of the Loch and how much is his research? Is it him just going out onto the edge of the water there every day and having a look? Oh, that's it for today. Still nothing? I mean, or is he putting... You've got to put money in.

You know, you've got to go underneath the sea. Yeah, that is it. He's really at the lakeside just looking. And you've been, Rhys. You've been as well, haven't you? I've been three times. Have you? It's massive.

Like, I didn't appreciate how big it is. It's so huge. It's ginormous. Yeah, I really thought I would be like, oh, this is just going to be a small body of water. Like, obviously big enough to hold a monster, but I didn't realize that it's like an ocean. It's ginormous.

You can't see the other side, really. So it's shaped in such a way that it's very long. And of course, so, so deep that I think there's just so many theories as to what the creature actually is. And it's many different types of things people are seeing. And it's not one particular plesiosaur that pops up every few years. I mean, that's just not happening.

I think it's just, you know, it's fun to think there is something there. And I think there is something, but it's not necessarily what we think it is or what we'd love to think it is. But look, I've got some cryptid news. And mine is bigfoot related. It's about the state funding of bigfoot hunts being outlawed. This has happened in New Mexico.

Because a teacher took his students on a bigfoot hunt. And it was funded by the state. And he's this guy, he's called Dr. Christopher Dyer. He's head of the University of New Mexico's Gallop campus. And, you know, I say good on him for going outside the box and taking his students on something extraordinary and what an experience to look for something that may or may not exist.

But is certainly out of the ordinary. And it was state funded. I think there was like a tax bill in the thousands, maybe, of a hotel cost and things like that. And so then in the end, the law makers had to jump on board and say that, you know, this can no longer happen. So there's been a ban on any state funded searches

for what they call mythical creatures. And it's just came out. I've got a bit of audio here. Listen to this. Mr. Teens, Larry Barker first exposed a UNM expedition to find bigfoot back in October. A foray into the forest paid for by you. Now a lawmaker wants to make it illegal for New Mexico taxpayers

to fund colleges to go hunting for mythical creatures. Mr. Teens, Madeline Schmidt is live at the roundhouse in Santa Fe with that story, Madeline. Yeah, Dean, the bill comes from a senator from Gallup who Larry Barker spoke with during his investigation. The bill would stop trips like the one Dr. Christopher Dyer of the UNM Gallup campus took last year. There was a field trip and taxpayers paid for that.

So if you went to the Sandias to look for bigfoot, right? We took one day and we went up there, yeah, walked around. Did you see bigfoot? We didn't know what we looked at habitat. We didn't see it. That trip for Dr. Dyer and his friends cost taxpayers more than $7,000 in hotel rooms, meals, and mileage costs.

In response to what happened, Senator George Munoz is sponsoring a bill that would ban public funds from being spent on, quote, looking for or catching a fictitious creature. It's sad that we have to do this, that they don't have the ethics. The UNM doesn't have the ethics to stop this. So now we have to draft bills to stop something that we know is not morally right.

The senator had a little bit of fun drafting this bill. It also bans publicly funded searches for Pokemon, leprechauns, and even the boogeyman. Now, Senator Munoz says what Dr. Dyer did was unfair to students. They pay a lot of money to go to school, and it should not be spent on this. Back to you.

Hi, Madeline, thank you. Outgoing UNM president Bob Frank previously told News 13 that the Bigfoot expedition was inappropriate and would not happen again. That is amazing. So there we have it. I do find that really challenging, because did they get outside?

Did they get outside with students? Did they engage with science? And did they work on their imagination, and their hope, and their excitement? Of course they did. What more do you want out of schooling? I think that's a real shame. Yeah, exactly.

It's an incredibly unfair framing of that story, because they did get out of the school yard, and it's the equivalent of like, is it a waste of time to go camping overnight? That would be expensive, but I mean, it's what these kids are learning. So a very unfair framing of that story, I'd say. Exactly.

And it's opening. It's broadening their horizons. So it's kind of like, this is one of the school trips that you will remember for the rest of your life. That time, we all went on that Bigfoot hunt. I mean, God. It's because it's a pseudoscience, and therefore, are they wasting their money?

But I mean, I really hope that one day, this happens again, and they do come across something. And then who will be laughing? The thing is as well, is that some of the best explorers we've ever had are people who've gone after looking for things that were the mysteries, the mysterious animals of the world, and ended up finding not necessarily the Bigfoot,

or the mammoth that was said to still be alive, but discovering a species of elephant that no one had ever discovered before. You use it as a reason to go looking for interesting stuff in the world. You use it as an exciting jumping off point to discover things. And most likely, if someone somewhere is saying,

we saw a mysterious thing here, there probably is something mysterious there. It might not be the Bigfoot, but it'll be something amazing. And everyone's just too strict about curiosity and excitement for discovery. It's really odd. Well, the other thing is that what does it cost to pass a bill like that within the Senate?

Probably tens and tens of thousands of dollars to do all the legal documentation and the wording and that could have funded another probably 10 or 20 Bigfoot hunts with kids. But, you know, it's $7,000 for a Bigfoot hunt. Sounds quite good on, but it sounds quite cheap, to be honest. There is good Bigfoot news, though, in America at the moment,

which is that there are two states currently in a race to make Bigfoot the state's official cryptid. Dan, you've stolen my news. That was my news. Oh, look, David, haven't I got this open on my thing? Oh, sorry, mate. Oh, God, that's it. I'm out.

I'm gone. No, I'm gone. I've lost him. I can see what's happening here. I can see what's happening here. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. I think, you know, happy birthday to you, Bastards.

I can see what you're doing. Now, Dan, you know, you bought that up first. So I think you should you should get to report on your story. No, no, no, I'd love to hear from you. I'm going to hand it to Buttons, because I've got an orange alligator in South Carolina, I want to mention in a bit. He's got an even better one.

I've got an even better one. No, no, you do that one, because I've got another one as well. Let's do them all. Jesus. We haven't got time. You do this one, Buttons. OK, OK, OK, oh, God.

This is where I feel the pressure. I'll start it off. I'd say there's an extraordinary number of sort of horny pop-ups that pop up on your news sites that you go to Buttons. I'm seeing a lot of bums and tits and ars. So I just thought I'd have that. OK, now go on to your story.

No, just because I'm looking up. I'm researching the dolls. Tell us just what story. I'm sniffing a new nickname for you, Buttons. Horny pop-ups. Oh, you bastard. Well, OK. They know you go down.

I can't. I can't do it. He's busted. I've got a different one. You go down, go down. No, no, no. OK. OK, Dan, I'll tell you what. No, you read it. You tell the story,

and then I'll read the letter from the boy. OK, cool. So basically, Senator Anne Rivers has put forward the idea that she would like for, I think it's Washington state to recognize Bigfoot as the official cryptid. Oregon is trying to do it at the same time, and it's a Senate bill that has been filed

called Bill 5816, and it originated from a second grader and Buttons. This is the greatest thing. Is that Senator Anne Rivers is the only reason why she's championing it, and the only reason why there's now a big race is a third grader wrote to the senator, and I've got a fax copy of his letter here,

and it is unbelievable. Typical third grader letter. Beautiful. You know, all the writing and messy and stuff. We'll put it up on the Facebook page so you can read it. But it basically says, Dear Senator, my name is Caleb. My handwriting might be terrible,

but try your best to read this. I am a third grader at your Colt primary school, and I love science and watching YouTube videos about Bigfoot. It says, Washington state is the leader in Bigfoot sightings. I have started an online petition with my dad and granddad asking people to sign it so that Washington state can have Bigfoot as the state's cryptid symbol. And he says, what can I do to make this happen?

Isn't it a lovely letter? Yeah, it's really delightful to be here writing. I mean, this is encouraging to be reading this. But to Dan's point, now it's sparked off this huge big race between Oregon and Washington to get it recognized as their official cryptid, which is completely amazing, given your last story, Reese, about another senator banning the hunting for critters.

Yeah, America at the moment. It's a crazy place. It is crazy. And you know, this molds straight into my next piece, which is all about a weird croc. Actually, I say croc. That's actually a croc of shit. It's an alligator.

I always get my gators and crocs mixed up. This is my story. This is what I abandoned my story to give buttons. Oh, sorry. Oh, god. See, clearly, there's not enough cryptid news in the world for four people to be reporting on this. One of us has to go.

Well, I'd like to report on this eyewitness account. And this is an orange alligator, which has been dubbed the Trumpigator. Oh, genius. It's the only one of its kind in the world. I believe South Carolina. And I have a report here. Listen to this.

We all know that South Carolina has its fair share of alligators. But there is one in hand-to-hand that has the entire neighborhood talk. He's probably going to go sneak out on that bird over there. He's probably going to go sneak up on him. Families keep coming back to get another look. This is the first time we had seen it on this side. Because they've never seen one like this.

Never orange. An orange alligator. It looks like clay. Or at least a color it shouldn't be. I mean, if we're getting technical here, that's not an orange gator, right? Reddish brown, maybe. Neighbors say the gator keeps growing.

And every year, it gets more orange. So we went to the only other place we could think of with an oddly colored gator. Albinos are extremely rare, probably only 50 to 100 in the world, all in captivity. The South Carolina Aquarium has an albino one. Herpetologist Josh Salibach says this gator was born this way, the one in Hanahan, not so much.

It's a beautiful looking animal, but it's definitely not a natural color for an alligator. Probably chalk it up to some kind of environmental factor, like algae, maybe even some pollutant in the water. But it's hard to say. I like your name, mister. Scientists say if it is algae or clay, it'll likely shed its skin and go back to normal

in a few weeks. It's awfully suspicious because Hanahan's school colors are orange and blue. Yeah, I got a feeling that could be it. And what would the neighborhood gator be without a nickname? Somebody so-called him the Trump Gator, so... The Trump Gator?

The Trump Gator, yeah, orange. Or is it some sort of devil manifestation, a spawning of an interpretation of the Antichrist, their version of Trump through the animal world? Yeah, probably just a crocodile, but that is... We already established it was an alligator. Here, catch up. It's not, it would be so...

Yeah, there's all these reports about why it turns orange. It was cool to see it because I'd read about orange alligators before. Have you guys heard of the orange alligator of Gabon? No. Oh, okay, so this is the same thing, and I think it might be the answer to why this alligator is orange as well.

So they found, they were in these caves in Gabon, and they're full of bats, and they suddenly found these cave-dwelling crocodiles, sorry, alligators, which they'd never live in... Oh, sorry, sorry, crocodiles. They'd never live in caves, these crocodiles, ever, and they couldn't work out why they were there, and they were completely orange,

and basically it's, I think they were eating the bats, and so it was a good space to go, but they would eventually leave the cave. And what they discovered was that all the bat poo that was going into the water was releasing this kind of chemical, and because they were spending so much time in the water, the poo was turning them orange,

just turned their body completely orange, so they'd come out, and we'd see these orange cave crocodiles, and it was actually just bat crap that was doing that, and I think that's what they think about this alligator as well, that it's in a bit of water where there's a lot of rust, and the rust is coming off onto them,

but who knows, they might be the spawn of the devil as an interpretation too. Well, that's interesting, and it definitely does give a good reasoning for it, but my mind then sort of wanders towards the great president, Trump, and I wonder whether he lives in a cave and eats bats, because that would make a lot of sense.

That would make total sense. I mean, Billy now, he's very Bruce Wayne-ish. He might have a bat cave. That doesn't make sense. Are we saying he's possibly Batman? He's both Batman, and it has gone wrong on the other side. He wasn't expecting the bat shit to color him in the daytime activities.

Maybe, yeah, he tried to spend his life being Batman, but it went wrong, and he ended up, who he is. We're just about ready to wrap things up here. Yeah, well, betcha, but to do so, I guess I have to say my goodbyes. I mean, I've clearly read the theme of this whole thing, and even though it's my birthday, it seems like this might be the last show for old buttons, so.

No, look, buttons, come on, look, rain this back in. Oh, no, no, no, no, guys, it's been a lovely ride. One thing you listen to to know about buttons is he's a real drama queen. It's bullshit! I am so not a drama queen. I'm just like, I just know when I'm not wanted. I know when I've, you know, like, I've been usurped.

I mean, like, there's a couple of things I've got a couple of issues with before I get, you know, before I get pushed aside. You know, I've been patient and waiting for my name to be in the titles, and now it gets replaced with Dan. And Dan is a bloody lovely guy. I love Dan. Thank you so much for being on the show today, Dan.

And it's lovely to hear your voice at the front of the titles. I've got a problem that sounds a little bit Australian. I just wanted to see if there's anything you wanted to disclose about, you know. You live in London, that's good. But do we hear a little bit of... I do live in London, but I am a nosy. Say, I told you!

I'm very Australian. Say, I told you, so I just want you to... Yeah, I know. And the other thing is, Reese, I noticed that you pointed out that Dan's... Oh, yeah, yeah. Just very quickly, did you see the news in Australia this week that the number one name associated with crime in Australia is Leon?

Did you see that? No! What? What's with the crime? Yeah, it's in this week's news. That's kind of the first name for criminals in Australia is Leon. And that's so funny. You buy stuff, OK.NZ. So you're only in this paper.

I like paper. Look, I haven't visited Australia for like a good couple of days now. And so I just pop over there, do a bit of crimes, and then I come back. If any crime happens in the South Pacific, people just go, yeah, it's probably Leon. But, Reese, the other thing just before I go, and before I get pushed out, which is cool,

I'm good with it, I'm coming to terms with that, is that you pointed out lovingly that Dan produced your first stand-up DVD. And I just like wondered at what point you're going to talk about the fact that I made the second, third, and fourth ones. I'm just, I'm cool, no, I'm cool with it. But I just thought I'd leave that before... I was saving that news for next week. I'm saving that.

That was going to be one of my big pieces. It's time to get real, guys. It's time to get real. Look, buttons, you're not going anywhere. To be perfectly honest, there's a little secret project that I need to go and fiddle around on a little bit this year. What? And I'm gonna... A secret project you need to fiddle around with?

Yep. You'll be putting some blue tack over the camera on the laptop, that's for sure. Little secret project. So I'm taking a little vacation this year. So actually, Buttons, you and Dan and Rhys can all fit together as a trinity. And I will just, I'll be around.

I'll be there in the background. But I think you three can lead the show for a while. And I will fiddle about with this other thing. Is that right? And I'm keeping an eye. So Buttons, happy birthday. Oh, thank you. We're shaking hands right now. It's really awkward. Oh, I get to stay, guys.

This is great, isn't it? Yeah, so... Congratulations. And we'll move forward. Congratulations, Buttons. Guys, well, to be honest with you, I'm actually quite glad about this because I was actually just leaving

because I didn't actually enjoy working with David anymore. So... I did work with him. I was like, wow. And it's fine for me because it's just so... Dan and Rhys and our listeners know it's quite hot where we're recording this podcast and Buttons has just taken off his pants.

So... Oh, no. It's going on as well. It's a good time to round this up. I have actually taken off my pants. It's a good time to round this up. Thanks for listening. Any parting words? Yeah, just want to quickly say thanks for having me, guys.

I was hoping it was a one-off, but there's bad news on my side. But I also just want to say quickly that Farrier, you're the god of this world. And I like hearing you talk about crypto on this show every week. So I think it sucks that you're going to be stepping away for a while.

I just want to let you know I love you. Oh, that's nice, man. Well, that's what I was going to say too, Dan. Thanks, Farrier. Also, from me, Farrier, I just want to say best of luck with your new projects. And I know you've always got something on the go and you have to go underground for a while

and do some investigations. And we wish you well. Dan, welcome on board. You, myself and Buttons will keep this cryptozoological train heading to the station that is wonderfulness. Farrier, keep checking in and let's keep the cryptid factor rolling

with new, old and exciting talent and the wonders that is the world of the paranormal. That was amazing. I actually feel like crying, guys. Ha, ha, ha.