The Cryptid Factor - 36: #036 The Monster Week Issue

Episode Date: June 1, 2018

Guys! We've done it! We've finally got on the TV! This week see's us host Monster Week on Animal Planet - and as a special bonus, Rhys has managed to interview of the host from one of the awesome documentaries - Fear Island - Fortress of the Bears! Unfortunately Bradley Trevor Greive is an Australian, so just a warning that this issue may be a little bit R rated. Go to www.animalplanet.com/tv-shows/the-cryptid-factor/ to see us on the telly. Oh, also this episode, Hippos in Nappies and Zombie warnings. Whaaa?

The Cryptid Factor, with Rhys Darby and Dan Schreiber. The Cryptid Factor, with Rhys Darby and Dan Schreiber. Hello! Hello! Hello everyone, sorry I, at the last, during the theme song I quickly ducked away, took a risk, you know, and came back slightly late. Is that what explains that awkward pause then? Yeah!

What can you duck away and do in the time of a theme tune? Did you get some toast? He likes to run into the mic. I like the idea that the listeners, after the theme tune, there's an awkward pause, and they're thinking, ah, they've screwed it up already. It wouldn't be the first time. Not even thinking that you're going to edit this. To me, everything's live.

Yeah, it is. That's how you live your life. Everything's happening now, and that's being a perfectionist, you see? That's why I do everything brilliantly, because I'm worried that that's it. You only get one chance, one shot. Yeah. Because I thought that was what life was about. But it's not.

You can edit your life as you go through it. You took the Eminem song, where he says you've got one shot, one opportunity, way too literally ever since that song came out. 1998 or whenever it was, you've been living your life like you've got one shot. Yeah, and that song really influenced me heavily, obviously. I wish you'd do another one, where he says, you've got lots of shots, you can edit your way through, don't worry everybody, don't stress about life. You've got another turn tomorrow and the next day.

As long as you keep living, you can have another go. If you foul up, you can come back on track. Just remember, you'll always be back. Yeah, we'll edit that out. Don't lose yourself. Find yourself. There's many moments. CJ Rumble Strips is really taking off, man.

Rumble Strips is back. Well, this is the longest pre-hello that we've ever done. So now let's go into the hello, hello. Hello. Hey, guys. Hi, Dan, where are you? I'm in Sydney, Sydney, Australia. I'm in Avalon, Sydney, Australia.

That's the full details. Riverview Road, Sydney, Australia. Wow. Riverview Road. So if listeners, if you're quick enough, what number? Yeah, let's say the number. How about you, Buttons, where are you? He's gone.

He's gone. I'm sure he's adjusting some cables somewhere, but we'll carry on. Yeah. This is The Cryptid Factor, a special, special edition, because Monster Week is on right now. As we speak, Monster Week on Animal Planet in the States, and I believe in many other territories. And the big news is that we are hosting Monster Week.

We are on the tally for the first time together in between some amazing monster documentaries, discussing them, being enthused by them, and generally being ourselves, which they were foolish enough to let us be. So yeah. So that's the big news, right? I mean, who would have thunk it? I know.

It's crazy. And it's awesome because it's stripped throughout the week. So we're on every night, and we're basically the hosts of each documentary. So in between most of the ad breaks, it'll be us sort of discussing what happened. And we're there at the end, so we top and tail it. And then we recorded these extra long episodes because they're quite short, all these little conversations that we have throughout it. But we had a super long conversation, which has been put up on their Go platform,

where you can go and see us talking about the whole episode. Absolutely. And Buttons, are you there? He has gone. I mean, this is weird, right, Dan? He is usually. No, I'm back. I'm back.

Here I am. What's happening? I don't know. The technology. It's tough. Tough these days. Did you run out of duct tape? What's happened?

No, I just, I ducked away myself as well to get some duct tape. You did the old risky duck away. I did the double duct. I did duct away for some duct tape. Sorry about that. What a week to be alive. You guys all get to check out, you know, us on the tally, which is exciting. Yeah, we covered that, mate.

Where have you been? Ducking away. At least I ducked away during the titles. Buttons thought, I know how long Reese raves on. I've probably got a couple of minutes here. He'll be talking about himself for the first five minutes. I may duck away again shortly, just to forewarn you. Where are you going?

Well, you know, we've got stuff to do. He's busy. We should talk about some of the shows that are on Animal Planet because as far as for us, this hosting monster week was really utopia for us, wasn't it? I mean, we got to talk about U-boats during World War One being attacked by unknown sea monsters. We got to talk about some of the most giant bears in the world up in Alaska. We got to also talk about Bigfoot and the Finding Bigfoot crew.

It was really such an action packed week. It was a Himalayan Yeti adventure as well. That's right. That's right. We also went to the Himalayas to try and find Yeti. What we did in ourselves, obviously, we just watched people doing it, but it felt like we were there. We were definitely there.

Yeah. I was there. I mean, our minds wandered into these adventures and I hope that the viewers of these great doggos will do the same and then we'll pull you back to Earth and discuss it with you, not just at the beginning and end of each doggo, but during the ads. We're there. Yeah. We're there.

So animalplanet.com. Go and find Monster Week and you'll be able to find us on there talking about these shows and more depth like Dan was saying. All right. Let's crack into some weekly World Weird News. Oh. Weekly World Weird News. Crazy.

Freaky. Watch out. What have we got? Yeah, I've got an exciting one. There's a big mystery that's been solved this week, which is that there's been a bridge that's on the border between Kenya and Tanzania, where they kept noticing that every time the water rose, dead fish would walk up onto the banks and they would come in the thousands. And it was just this big mystery of like, why is this happening?

Been trying to work it out for ages and they've been looking. Is it pesticides that farmers have been putting in and so on? Finally cracked it. What it is is that hippos are pooing in it so much that all the fish are choking to death on their poo. What? Yeah. It's taking away all the oxygen.

It's getting into their throats. It's mad. And so every day there's about 4,000 hippos that go into this water and they're all just pooing like crazy. So they completely fill up this body of water with all of this poo. Yeah, and nothing stands a chance in there. And if you put like a fishing rod in and came out with a bit of bait, it'd be covered in poo.

That's how much is in there. So yeah, mystery solved, but it took them a long time. Yeah. Wow. You initially said, Dan, you said dead fish were walking up the banks. Did I say walking? Yeah, you did. And I was rather excited because I had visions of zombified fish escaping the rivers, you

know, but then only making it like a few feet before they realized, I hang on with fish. We can't breathe out of the water. Yes, we can walk. I mean, that's great, which I think is a more interesting story. But no, that's good. That's good. I'm glad where it went. And the other thing that I sort of realized was that, I mean, yeah, hippos swim in their

own shit. I mean, that's, that's bizarre. But you never think about that, but they do. But there's obviously too many of them in that river. There's way too many. And it's, it's, it's now officially a scientific paper that's been published. It's called Organic Matter Loading by Hippopotamide Causes Subsidely Overload Resulting in Downstream, Hypoxia and Fish Kills.

How are they going to fix this problem? How do they make big hippo toilets like some sort of big porta potty for hippos further up the river? You got the hippo nappies. Hippo nappies. Genius. Hippo nappies. I mean, can you imagine the size of those?

And also terrible for the environment. Well, you know, are they disposable? Because I don't want, I don't want that. I mean, I'm happy if we're going to make these big nappies out of, you know, proper blankets or whatever, and they get washed. We're going to have to wash them, you know, old school style. Let's, let's, let's not, I don't want these things where you, you know, you pull them around the front and Dan, you know more about this because you've got a little one, but

we've all been through it. It's been so long for buttons and I that we can barely remember, but you know, those ones where you, you've got the tabs and they just stick down, you know. Yeah. Is that what you're using? No, we're using a mixture. We experiment. There's a lot of exciting products on the market at the moment.

Are we serious? Are we seriously talking about nappies right now? There's a whole bunch of people that have tuned in. They've watched the animal planet. They've gone, oh my God. They just, they're talking about. Thank you. You've pulled us out.

That was, that was, that was close. That was a close one. You're right. You're right. Let's not go down that road. The thing is, as you guys know, hippo is extremely dangerous. So it was really hard for anyone to do these studies because who wanted to get near a death pool of 4,000 hippos?

Wow. Like I remember reading in ancient Egypt, they used to do their laundry along the Nile and it was the most dangerous job because you would go and the laundry people would risk death every day because they'd be washing a shirt and a hippo would launch out of the water and chew them in half. And so it was just a deadly job. The hippos just want to eat. Just want to kill.

I can imagine that when you sign up in ancient Egypt, you sign up for your jobs and they go, what are you doing? Oh, I'm doing laundry. Oh, no. You've got laundry detail. Oh, mate. I'll give you, I'll give you. Your life span's pretty short there.

One or two days. What? It's laundry. I signed up for laundry. I thought it'd be easy. No, no, mate. You should be a soldier. A soldier?

Yeah. What are you talking about? Well, there's no, there's no wars on. All I've got us doing is building these, these triangle things. That'll be easy. What? Are you serious? Yeah.

It's just build a triangle. No. It's the pyramids. That's got to fucking take you years, mate. That's, that's impossible task. And in fact, I bet you're 200, 3000 years time, they'll still be pondering how the fuck those things got built. Stick.

Trust me. Laundry's the way to go. It's okay because these alien guys have come down going to help us build these triangles. Real good and proper. Oh, serious. I didn't know there's going to be aliens. Oh, I wish I wasn't in laundry now. I'll be able to see you jokers working from the laundry area.

Yeah. As you get taken down by the hippo wearing the nappy. They're going to be a lot less scary when they're walking around with a big nappy. In the future, when we're in Africa and we're worried about hippos, just imagine them in nappies. That'll be your lasting thought as you get needed. Any animal in nappies, really? Well, my news very quickly is a really exciting one.

Oh, very quickly. It's going to go quickly. Oh, you're going to duck away again, do you, mate? Just before I do my next duck away, I'll quickly mention a bit of news. I love that for some reason ever since we've been talking about nappies in Egypt, you've taken on sort of like a pseudo British kind of a sounds like you're on eight and a half hot mum. Really?

Oh, okay. I'm sorry about that. Okay. So this is exciting news for me because again, it is proof that the world is preparing itself for the inevitable zombie apocalypse, which I'm sure is going to happen. In Florida, a mass text alert system failed when it sent out a mass text to people telling them that there was serious zombie activity in the area. I heard about this.

Yeah. So there was a blackout, a power out in the city of Lake Worth and residents became very concerned after everybody received a text message saying power outage and zombie alert for residents of Lake Worth and Terminus. Another failure of one of these systems happened recently in Hawaii when there was a text message sent out to everybody telling them that there was a ballistic missile threat heading towards Hawaii, which again was somebody mucking around with the system and accidentally sending it out.

But this one was sent out telling everybody that the power outage was imminent and they were also to expect extreme zombie activity. Wow. And the wonderful thing about this for me is there's one of either two things happen. Either some smart alec was in there and he typed that in as a bit of a joke or he or she hit send and it accidentally went out and he or she's now longer there. There's an automatic system set up and one of the automatic messages in there along with ballistic missiles and swarm of bees and all these different things that are warning about

one of them is zombies. So therefore it's got to be they must know something that we don't know that the zombie apocalypse is actually a real threat. That's one of the protocols. I've got another theory. If I chuck it in there, what if you think about these two situations? What if someone actually has got in there? Because I believe they could have been hacked.

I mean that's what people think. It's a hacking. But what if it's a hacking as a warning? What if someone's come back from the future and is letting us know via the only system that you can put out there that actually mass alerts a huge amount of people and he's come and he's hacked the system to sort of basically give us a warning that in the future, yes, ballistic missile will strike Hawaii. So there's your warning.

And the other one is the zombie attack. Yes. So he's his time traveler. He's some sort of guy that can get into the system and let us know. So let's see if there's another one. If there's any more of these warnings that come out because he's obviously still here letting us know. Oh man.

How exciting would that be if there is a time traveler? Surely there's a better way for him to come back and warn us, but I'm happy with this. Well, how else would you warn people? I mean, he could get on the news, but then no one's going to believe if he's on the news, you know. Well, that happened recently, didn't it? Somebody actually claimed that they had come back from the future and they were here to warn us of stuff and nobody's taken him seriously.

Maybe it's that guy. Yeah. So he's thinking, how else can I get out to these, how can I warn these people? Okay, I'll hack into the system. I know how to hack in because I'm from the future. I have these old systems are easy to hack, you know, in the future. Toddlers are hacking into these kind of things. I love that just on when the Hawaii one happened, the governor tried to sort of like say, this

is, this is a false flag. It's not true. He tried to do it on his Twitter, but he couldn't get into his Twitter because he forgot his password. So he was knocked out of his account. Oh no. Trying to remember before he finally went. There is no missile threat, but yeah.

Wow. Isn't that just classic human error? I mean, who can remember their pin numbers or their pass codes or whatever? I mean, it's past word, I believe is the term. You can even remember the word. Who can remember the term? Let alone what it actually is. So true.

Has anyone done that? Has anyone called up Twitter? How can I help you, sir? I've lost, I've forgotten a thing, but I don't know what it is. I've forgotten. I can't, I've forgotten that. And then once I remember that, what that is, I can't remember what the, it is. We're very busy here.

We're very busy here, mate. What is it you're after? I don't know. I don't know why I've called. But there's a zombie attack imminent and you need to know. We've got that future guys called up again. Forgetful. He's been sent back from the, from the future, but he's very forgetful.

He's useless. That's a, that's a good movie plot. Hey, do you guys want to, um, a quick call zombie movie IMDB kind of trivia thing? Yeah. Yeah. World War Z. Yeah. Okay.

So in it, Peter Capaldi is in it. Uh-huh. Dr. Who. Uh, for those who don't know him, he played Dr. Who. He plays a doctor in it and he's a doctor with the world health organization. Oh, you're joking. Yeah. So in the credits, he's credited a WHO doctor.

This was before he was announced as the doctor. They had inside knowledge and new. Yeah. So that's genius. Yeah. Two months before the film, after the film was released is when they announced him. Isn't that weird? Dr. Who.

I love those guys. I love those facts. That's a great fact. And you, and you know, one other quick thing about that Florida zombie alert is that. Well, hang on. Is this a quick thing? Let's make sure it's a quick one because I haven't got much time. I've got to duck away in a minute.

How quick is this fact? Is this a fact? It's a thing. It's not even a fact. It's a thing. Make it quick. It could have been over by now if you hadn't. I'm afraid we've run out of time, but.

Quickly do it now. Quickly do it now. Okay. Well, in Florida University, there is a part of the laboratory there that is specializing in DNA replication. Genomics, gene therapy, gene therapy, molecular basis of disease and the mechanisms of viral and bacteria. I've got to say, this is not quick.

All I'm saying is that there's a whole bunch of conspiracies out there that the University of Florida is working on zombie viruses. So that can give us, that's why it's going to come from Florida. Yeah. And remember back on the day with that, the bath salts. Remember the bath salt situation? I think we talked about it on one of the shows where a dude was caught eating some dude's face off.

He was. Wasn't that in Florida? I think that was Florida. It was. Oh my gosh. That's got something to do with it. I think you're right. If this is going to happen, this zombie thing, which your life's work or at least your life's

want is for that to happen. I know you're obsessed with that idea of the apocalypse of the zombies. That's where it's going to come from. I'm so into it. Yeah. Well, you're right. It was in 2012. The zombie attack in Florida where a guy, 31-year-old Rudy Eugene went and ate the face of a homeless

man who did survive, luckily. But the cops came and it took about four or five shots to take this guy. That's right. He was completely naked and eating the face of a homeless man. It was Florida. You're right. Whoever's in Florida right now, run. Yeah.

Just get out of there now. Actually, it's quite a nice place. I'm sorry. It's a nice place to die. Nice place to die. Hey, Sonya. What news have you got, Rhys? Look, you guys know I'm the king of weird news.

Well, I was up until recently when my researches, as you know, my researches, they've sort of given up the ghost a bit. They've let you down. Yeah. Nothing's really come through. But I tell you what I have done, guys. Instead of getting some weird news for you, I have actually managed to and you'll be impressed by this.

Earlier this week, I caught up with one of the stars, the host of one of these great dockos that is on Monster Week. This week, yes, I spoke to Bradley Trevor Greve, who is the man himself, the living legend, who is the host of Fair Island Fortress of the Bears. Expert interview. Expert interview. These experts, OK. A very special guest on this week with us.

Bradley Trevor Greve, ladies and gentlemen. Greetings. I'd say it's a great pleasure to be here, but it's more of a moderate pleasure. And no, fan of you cryptid fanatics and delighted the cryptid factor were hosting the week. And I reached out to say, hey, by the way, if you ever want to talk more about giant bears, mythological and real, I'd love to chat to you because I enjoy the show as inept and bumbling as it is. I love it.

I love talking about these things because what I've learned, and it's been six years now, I've been in the field studying these bears and living with the Klingit. And what I've learned, the seeds of discovery are sewn into stories that are incredibly ancient. Often, you know, it's these gossips and rumors and so forth that if you just studiously take them apart and then go into the field and do the work, you'll often find the seeds of great discovery there. And I found that true of these enormous bears.

And for those of you who are not sure who Bradley is, I'm sure most of you are. But if you're not, here's a little rundown on which Bradley actually sent me. And it's very impressive. So I'm just going to read it out. Some of his credentials, New York Times bestselling author, 26 books and counting, wildlife expert with 20 plus years of international wildlife conservation experience, former Polynesian rock lifting champion, former paratrooper commander in the Australian Army. That's a no brainer.

Russian cosmonaut program graduate. Yes, this is what he sent me. Also voice actor and finding Nemo and regular American late night TV guest. Upcoming deep water cookie cutter shark. Oh, that's secret. That's all secret. That's secret. Not revealing that.

And so forget I said that. His documentary is called Fair Island, Fortress of the Bears. Now, I guess we don't want to give too much away. We don't know when this one's going out. We don't want to put any spoilers out. But let's be honest, cryptid factor. This is probably going out in a couple of months. So look at looking at buttons.

I know he's got dreams of coming out this week. But what can you tell us about this fantastic show? Well, the premise of Fair Island, Fortress of the Bears is simple. My belief from years of observation was that this remote Alaskan island was home to the largest land predator that's ever lived in the modern era, a relic of the last Ice Age. So basically we went out to capture the largest bear ever recorded on film. And there are giant bears around much of the North Pacific.

Everybody talks about Kodiak bears and they are. They're very, very big bears. So are the bears of Kenai Peninsula. So are the bears of Katmai. So are the bears of Kamchatka in Russia. And so are the Manchurian brown bears in northern Japan and southern Asia. So there are some giant bears all in this crescent, as you will. But one of the most overlooked places of the island of Kutsunabu,

which is not really on anybody's radar. They've never made a big documentary or a nature film there. And that's where I went because I wanted to learn about the Klinger culture. And I wanted to study these giant bears that no one's really paying attention to. So it's been six years now. And no one really spoke to me in the first year that I was there. The second year, they acknowledged that I'd turned up again and I respected that. The fortunate thing for me is that in Klinger culture,

it's considered appropriate that every male serve in the military. They're a warrior culture. Oh, wow. Perfect for you. It was. And me. And yeah, well. I'd be respected there too, guys. To a degree, sure.

Yeah. Well, actually, because you were a singular, right? That's right. Yeah. A radio op. I was a paratrooper. Let's move on. Let's move on.

We haven't got time. It's quite funny because we... Paratrooper versus radio operator. Without me, the messages wouldn't get through. Yes. Where would you be dropping? No. And your expertise has proved absolutely essential to today's podcast.

And I appreciate that. I don't know how... I should know what we're doing, but I've moved on. I'm more of an actor now. No, I appreciate that. But it's... So in the Australian Army, and it could be different in New Zealand. I'm not judging.

In the Australian Army, we call signalers chooks or handbags. That's perfect. Anyway, I forget where we got onto that, but... I digress. I digress. So once it came out that I'd served in the military, I was... You wouldn't stop going on about it. And so they eventually said, look, can you leave the village?

Can you just go out with a bear's heart? Yeah. And eventually, three, four years later, I was adopted by one of the clans and given access to some areas that no other living person has seen. In fact, there are plenty of places that even the Klingit haven't been to for more than 400 years. In some cases, more than 500 years. It was incredible.

So that's how I got access to this incredible part of the world. Wow. And then I've just spent all that time observing the bears and studying them. And that's what led to the discoveries that led to the show Fear, Isle and Fortress of the Bears. This territory is so untapped that it lends to reason that if these giant bears are out there, they'll be in this area. And that's why you went in there, right?

It is. And I mean, there are basically three ingredients for any kind of giant creature to live. OK, you've got to have great genetics. You've got to have access to an enormous food supply. And you've got to be beyond the reach of human interference and meddling and killing and pollution, all the rest of it. And this, the Isle of Kutsunabu, certainly is that. Yeah.

It's about 1,600 square miles. So it's about half the size of Yellowstone National Park and has twice the number of bears. So it has more bears on this island than all of the lower 48 states of the United States combined. Wow. And that's the highest density of bears in the world. It works out to be just over one bear per square mile. So you have to be very careful where you tread.

I set out to show the world two different things. Firstly, a part of the planet they didn't know existed. And secondly, to capture on film the largest bear that the audience has ever seen. And I think that for so long, we've been blindfolded and we've been kept to lead to believe that there are only particular big bears in Kamchatka and Kodiak and they've ignored all these other mega bear species. And the connection between the Klingit people and the great bears of Kutsunabu, which as I mentioned, means fortress of the bears in Klingit.

This is a bear realm. The Klingit believe the bears are half human. And when we meet them, we greet them as family every time. If it's a female, we say, you know, hello, grandmother. We don't mean any harm. And if it's a big boy, we say hello, grandfather. You know, we're just visiting. We don't mean any harm.

And that respect is extraordinary. But this is a wild place. This is not like Katmaya or Kenai, where everybody or Brooks Falls, where everybody and his uncle goes and sees these bears every year eating fish. This is a wild realm and the bears don't hang around and they're not tame and they're not there for you to look at. And after I captured a photograph of a bear, I think on year two of a bear, we call Sheisha, which means blood mountain in English.

And he was colossal. He was as big as the hump as I am. And on all fours. Wow. General rule of thumb, you just sort of double the height from four port of hump times two is standing. And I just went, that's a 12 foot bear. Wow.

That's 11 inches taller than the largest recorded bear in history, which was a polar bear shot in the early 70s in Kotsubiwi Sound in northeast Alaska. A polar bear. And this is a bear that by my guesstimation is almost a foot taller and 50 percent heavier because it's built like a wrestler, not that streamlined polar bear look. So I just thought it was so astonishing. I thought people wanted to know this.

And that began the quest that four or five years later became this documentary. How close have you come to copying it? I've had about half a dozen close calls where there was just a little bit of pee at the tip of my wiener. Just a driplet. Yeah. Just enough. One I mentioned, we stalked a bear quite a distance, almost half a mile.

And we got within about 60 meters. And that was probably too close. And he was an adolescent male, still a big bear, still taller than I am. And, you know, many times my size, I'm much stronger than the two of us. And he did a false charge. And a false charge is when it's a charge and a growl, but the ears are up. So they're testing your resolve. Right.

And he was so surprised that was his initial reaction was to false charge. Ears back generally means it's really coming. And that has never happened to me. I've seen them do it to each other, but it's never happened to me. So keep a close eye on the ears. Yeah. But I have to tell you, here's the honest truth of it. I'm pretty good in frightening situations.

I'm not going to. It's not false modesty to say that, but I'm scared a lot of the time with the bears. I mean, like I am a member of the Antarctic swimming club. Okay. I swam in the Weddell seal in the Weddell Sea with Weddell seals in swim trunks, which is basically freezing. So I know about shrinkage. When I first got close to a Kutztner with a brown bear, it wasn't so much shrinkage.

I actually heard my penis gasp. Wow. I mean, it was really... The only man on earth that's heard his own penis gasp. It was just... Oh, we have a turn of phrase. I couldn't believe how big it was. And...

It was a large gasp. I say gasp, it yelled. It had a little tiny megaphone. Yeah. Now, I couldn't believe the size of this bear. I took a photo of its footprint next to my boot and my size 13 boot, which is a decent size for it. Yeah. And it just looks like a toddler.

Oh, that is scary. And I just remember thinking that was so shocking because all my life with bears at least, I've always been behind a zoom mode and a wall and some bars or whatever. Yeah. And suddenly I realized there was nothing between it and me. But 10 to 12 seconds of hard running from that. And just remember this. The fastest man in the world in history, Usain Bolt, can hit 28 miles an hour.

Yeah. Can't even hit 29. Right. And these giant bears at 35 and change. Yeah. So that's why another reason why you should never... It's the same thing, they can go that fast. They run down deer.

That's all you have to know. It's on all fours, like just going flat out. I remember I was trying to explain something to one of the cameramen about how the first 15 feet of the forest is the most dangerous because almost every forest bordering a body of water in Kutsunwu has a bear trail between 10 and 20 feet behind it. Right. So in actual fact, you think you're just... You can go under the edge and you can have a pee or whatever and you can't.

That is the very place that you can't do anything. And I said, look, let me explain to you this way. Four giant paws with claws, one giant set of teeth, you're five ways fucked. And you need to stop. But I will say, I want to... You've got to put a poetry book out, man. I've got to. That's right.

Five Ways Fucked in Other Palms by Brad and Trevor Green. Absolutely. All I can say is it's nature at its wildest and that's what Kutsunwu is. It's bigger, it's faster, it's more ferocious. You are a spectator and you need to respect the... Yeah, have respect. And it's there. And that came off in the show as well, that you had respect and it was...

And kudos to you. Or kudos, I think it's pronounced correctly. Kudos. I always say kudos. That's a New Zealand thing. Or could be just this bad school I went to. Edgewater College. I think it's an enunciation issue, yeah.

It might be a cleft palate. Well, it's nothing to do with the moment. I mean, physically, I'm perfect. So it's definitely the schooling. But look, I digress. Thank you so much for being on our show, Bradley, BTG, as you're known. It's been an honour and I shake your hand, sir. That was just me and Bradley clapping.

That's super awkward. Well, there we have it. What do you think of that, guys? What a guy. He's got an Australian mouth on him, hasn't he? You know what they say about people that Kuts or Kurs? Yeah. It's a sign of intelligence.

Right. And I don't hear you swearing much, Buttons. Oh, bloody, bloody... Oh, come on. Too late now, mate. That's the only word you know. You're googling them. All right. Well, that's it.

That's it for this week. As I say, get off the... Well, we're online. Turn your radios off or whatever you're listening to this on. And turn your TV on and watch these dockos. Watch Monster Week, because it's happening right now, depending on the time. And, yeah, see us actual...

See our faces. See what Buttons looks like. Oh, you lucky guys. That's the big one. TV debut button. This is so exciting. This is my big TV debut, guys. It's...

Yeah. Everybody gets to see my... Watch out for the fact that Buttons has just noticed that no one told him that his glasses were on an angle. Wankily on his head, though. Was that a thing? Did everybody make that happen? Was that...

Like, maybe they've changed that in post-production. Maybe they were on perfectly straight. CGI. CGI'd my glasses on wonky. Yes, you're very normal. It's just... It's beautiful. It shows the shambolic nature of who you really are.

Oh, thanks. Oh, thanks, guys. That's the other fact on the internet, is the swearing for intelligence. But the shambolic-ness, that's genius. Thanks, guys. Thanks so much.

Thanks, buddy. Okay. Okay. And if everything goes well, and enough people go into Animal Planet Go and watch our stuff, then maybe they may actually give us their own TV show. Imagine that, guys.

Wow, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's a good point, guys. Everyone out there, the fans who is listening to this right now, please get out there, spread the word, watch all our stuff on the Animal Planet,

and yeah, you'll help us to get out... to get our new show. That's what we want. A little just quick, a little shameless plug there. Yep. No shame on that one.

Thanks for listening. Have a great week. Have a monster week, everyone out there. And we'll catch you again very soon on The Cryptid Factor. I can't help myself. I just can't help myself.

It's lovely. It's really lovely. It's lovely. It's lovely.