The Cryptid Factor - 40: #040 The Yowie Issue

Episode Date: October 3, 2018

Wow-wee! this episode is(almost) all about the Yowie! We delve into Australia's big hairy hominid - and hear some chilling accounts of close encounters (told by some great aussie accents!). Also, Rhys surprises us all by going pro with Darby's Disclosures, some guy makes a UFO landing pad and the Notice Board gets personal. Enjoy!

The Cryptid Factor with Rhys Darby and Dan Schreiber. Hello and welcome back to The Cryptid Factor. It's me Rhys Darby and of course with me my cohorts. Hello and welcome to The Cryptid Factor. I'm Rhys Darby and of course with me my cohorts. You jumped the gun with it. You got too excited. It's not a buzzer quiz. Let it breathe. After cohorts and Dan's supposed to go first anyway. He's in the titles. He says then you say your name Dan Schreiber. And then there's another pause and then buttons. One more time. Hello and welcome to The Cryptid Factor. I'm Rhys Darby and here with me. I've screwed it up. Take five. Hello and welcome to The Cryptid Factor. Here with me my cohorts and I'm Rhys Darby. Let's just move on. Just say your names and let's just move on. I'm sick of that. I just wanted to quickly ask why I'm still not in the titles because he just reminded me that I wasn't. We've discussed that. The titles anyway. Let's not waste any more time with this dialogue. We are The Cryptid Factor and this is the Yaoi special special special special. That's right. The first of a series of shows we're going to do where we single in on one cryptid and base the entire show around that one. We're going to give it a go. Give it a whirl if you will.

And if we don't enjoy it, I mean we'll pull out halfway through it and just carry on as we normally do. But I think it's worth a shot Nigel. See I told you I forgot your names. But so we're doing Yaois this week and we've got Yaoi news. We've got Yaoi audio eye witness reports, some theories and even a Yaoi poem at the end. That's really cool. The thing that I'm most concerned about is when we do other animals, whether or not there's going to be enough material to be able to do as such a great job as there is on the Yaoi because that sounds like a whole party you just described there. Poems? Wow those are the best sort of parties. And we'll have a book of poems at the end of Reese's. So this could be our first book. Yes, that's the best thing we're going to get out of it. And just going back on what you were saying there, whether we've got enough info on the subject matter at hand. And I think the key is, and I've already established that with this episode, is to spend at least 10 minutes on the intro. And we're almost out of time so we're just going to quickly read a quick poem and we will catch you next week for Mermaids.

But look, we've been doing this show for many years. We've got many, many fans, hopefully, that have been listening to all the different versions of the show. It's been pretty much the same all the way through. And so we're just sort of playing with the structure, if you will, a little bit, just for our own amusement, which brings me to the segment of the year they're calling it, which I don't know whether you listened last week, but it's a new segment that's just come out, Darby's Disclosures. And due to popular demand, it's now been shifted to the start of the show. But I'm excited. Hang on, said who? Said who? We've had some fans report on it and they've said, can you bring it to the start of the show?

Because a lot of people actually tune out after the first 20 minutes once we do the 10 minute intro. And this, from memory, is a show that Rhys reintroduces as his own show. We're not in it. No, you're not in the segment. So now, we're not opening our show within the show that we're not in. We're not strictly part of it, but I'm going to have a go at maybe allowing you guys to discuss what's within the disclosure. Oh, thank you. It's going to be difficult because you can't hear it. It's not for your ears as we've discussed. This is fans only. But let's kick into Derby's Disclosures because, as I say, people can't wait for it.

So here we go. And by the way, there's a new Sting segment within Derby's Disclosures right at the start. So listen out for that. This segment is growing. Very shortly, I can see what's going to happen. Cryptid Factor is going to be just a little part, a little segment of Derby's Disclosures. It's like, now it's time for the Cryptid Factor part of Derby's Disclosures. I feel it's relegated already. Okay, you guys ready? This is the new recording bit that's coming into the start of Derby's Disclosures. You may recognize this voice as the voiceover guy from Ancient Aliens.

Oh, wow. Yeah. Is it possible that Rise Derby came from another star system and has been visiting Earth for millions of years? Ancient astronaut theorists say yes. Derby's Disclosures. The truth is inside here. Now it's out there. Hello, and welcome to Derby's Disclosures. Hang on. We've had the same shitty stings for like 10 years now and then all of a sudden you've gone and made them all professional.

You've hired a professional to do the sting. Excuse me, Buttons Derby's Disclosures is on right now. You're not part of this segment. Sorry, listeners. This week, a man has actually built a UFO landing pad in Argentina desert. That's right, an Argentina desert. I could have said an Argentinian desert, but it's the main desert of Argentina. Now, this strange monument is believed to have been built by a Swiss man named Werner Jayesle. The landing pad is a collection of white and brown rocks placed in the shape of an oven port.

A monument which resembles... Sorry, what? Sorry, what was his name and what was that called? Oven port. Sorry, I'm going to rerecord. It's an ovney port. Not an oven port. Who's writing this stuff? Jason, you're fired.

No, pack your bags. Just take the ship out of here. Bloody snascwatch. Sorry, I've got special people helping me out here. Now, built in the Argentinian desert, this crazy monument, it's basically a UFO landing pad. His idea is that UFOs will come down and land on it. And he claims that ETs told him to do it. Isn't this amazing?

The larger monument is surrounded by smaller pieces that can be seen from the skies, which would truly be handy for any UFOs driven by aliens as they near Earth. Are we allowed to talk yet? You can have a quick discuss amongst yourselves now. Oh, wow, that's impressive. Yeah, I've just got it up on the screen now, listeners, for these other two buffoons to look at. That's very cool. It's cool, isn't it?

So those are all rocks. It's all okay. Yeah. Kind of looks like the cover art of a 1970s rock band's vinyl album. Yes. Or embroidery on a pair of jeans from the 60s. Yes, yeah. It's interesting that they would need a landing pad. Well, they do.

But so is that a design fault in a UFO that they would have traveled across galaxies, arrived here and realized, oh, we forgot wheels or we forgot. I tell you what, I'd love to land, but there's no, there's no actual pad. Blip, blop, lanya. What? You talking to me? Yes. Are you not blip, blop, lanya?

Yes. But you know I'm busy here just getting the coffee sorted before the landing. What, what, what, what, what do you ask? Well, I was just going to say, blip, blop, lanya, we can't land due to the lack of pad. We'll just land anywhere you dickhead. Imagine, imagine NASA sending up the Mars rover all the way there and it's coming down and to land on Mars and there's stops and goes, ah, can't land anywhere. Nobody's built us a landing pad to land the Mars rover.

Damn it. So look, he says he's been visited by extraterrestrials. They telepathically told him to build this port. Wow. So yeah, that's why he's done it. So he supposedly received messages in 2008 and he's been working on it since then. Wow. So it's a star shaped pad.

It has 36 points on it and it measures 48 meters in diameter. And if you guys want to check this out, we'll put it on the Facebook site, but it's just, just Google Argentinian landing pad for UFOs. And it looks pretty impressive. And what I like about it is, yeah, the idea that you can summon UFOs is not a new idea. It's been around since the 40s, 50s, certainly the 60s. And there's even a group here in LA that do a UFO summoning session. But anyway, I've said too much.

I've said too much that that is all for this week's Derby's Disclosure Disclosure. Just before we move on, can I just ask about the format of Derby's Disclosures? Because there's still some guy out there talking Derbs. Don't be bloody buttons. Just let him go. Just shine the light on them. Are you recording him? Yeah, we're recording him.

We've got, we've got guns aimed at him and the light. Guns? You don't need to fucking guns. Don't put guns on them. All right, we're taking the guns off. Just got the lights now. Where'd you get guns from anyway? Well, you told us you had guns the other day.

I didn't. I said go to the gym and work on your guns. Your stings are actually becoming characters. How is that possible? Derby's Disclosures is quickly becoming a radio play. The sting is longer than the section. What do you listen to the show for? Mainly the stings.

I mean, they are great characters. They come out. Wait till you see the stage play. It's all, it's all, it's all stings. So what does, what does ancient aliens guys say that you've been visiting the planet for millions of years? Is it possible? Is it possible?

And you've seen that show, right? So you know that that's, it's a fantastic show. It's my favorite show really. And it's just a series of rhetorical questions about, you know, ancient aliens and their technology and whether we've been visited many times. And so I have a friend who knows the voiceover guy. So I said, oh, could you please get him to do, you know, a voiceover for me? I wrote down what I wanted.

But unfortunately, he's pronounced my name wrong because he doesn't know who I am. I thought there was a choice of person. I know, I know, but he just thought we might as well stick with it because it's funny. Because I'm called Ryze all the time. And so that's just made it more special. I love how we're now doing a director's commentary on the sting. Very good. Very exciting.

That needs to be your ringtone. We could sell that on the Cryptid Factor website as people's ringtone. Yeah. Well, I don't even know what the legalities of it are, whether I can even, and I have that thing broadcast like this. But I mean, he doesn't mention the show or anything. He just mentions me. That's fine.

It's just a dude's voice. So I think it's fine, right? Yeah. So now our sting is not only longer than the entire show itself. It's got a director's cut to it. It's also going to bankrupt us because we're doing this completely illegal. This new sting thing is really not working for us. Hey, I'm just a bit of news on UFOs.

I wanted to throw in about the disclosure's door shut before I could get it in. So this is the post-disclosures chat. The director, Guillermo del Toro, I've pronounced his first name wrong. Guillermo del Toro. Yeah. Yeah. The shape of water. He's the director of Pans Library and Pacific Rim.

He claims to have seen a UFO. He was talking about it in a UFO, sorry, in an interview not too long ago. And yeah. And what's hilarious is he, I don't think he's overly a believer, but he believes he actually saw it. And his main comment was, and this is hilarious, given what a visual, brilliant director he is, he thought it was really badly designed. He was like, that's amazing.

He said it was so crappy. It was so crappy. It was a flying saucer, so cliched with lights blinking, so cliched. I love it. The guy sees alien life is like, too cliched. That is amazing. Yeah. Oh man, that is brilliant.

Particularly, yeah, if it really, if it was a genuine. I wonder what they think of that. If they've seen the interview and they come down and look, listen, mate, I hear you, you've got an issue with our designs. You want to come up and have a closer look on our shop and maybe we'll strap you to a bed and we'll see if we're happy with your designs. Maybe it is the ship ones that they sent to Earth. Look, we're going to get rid of these guys.

If you could just, every few years or months, just fly these crappy tin cans out and get rid of them. Send them down to that trash planet Earth and just drop them in the desert somewhere. Go looking for pads. We need pads. We can't live anywhere. We can't go anywhere. We can't go anywhere.

There's no pads. All right. Well, let's yell weird up. Yes. Now that we've got a couple of minutes left. Okay. The best way to kick into Yowies is to listen to an eyewitness account. We're going to pepper this show with eyewitness accounts and little snippets from long accounts

that people have been interviewed and they've given their account of seeing Yowies. So let's kick off with one of those, eh? I heard the dogs were really upset and they started growling and barking and carrying off. Then next minute there was this almighty thud and banging at this door. And a hell of a racket started up and I thought, of course, the dogs had got in the fight or something. So I flew out of bed and the darkness, I got to the door and there was a light switch

right next to it. I hit the light switch and when I went out in the door, I expected these dogs to be out in the rain, having a fight between themselves and there was a hell of a noise going on. I went out of the door and as I hit the door open a little bit, one dog came bawling straight past me and I smacked him in the legs and then flew into the room and it was all frothed up at the mouth and it tackles her up and at that moment I was yelling out to say, sit down. And then straight outside the door I could see where the wall stepped in a bit.

The other dog, which was a big good pig dog, it was backed up in the corner and screamed and the carol was terrified. And as I started yelling out, sit down, I looked up in front of me and the last thing I expected to see was the lights on out on the brander. There was this thing that was standing only about three or four metres in front of me, right on end of the brander. And it was just standing, it wasn't doing it in particular, but it had thrown some of the chairs off the brander and looked down the timber plate that was against the wall

and it was completely made by the sign. Anyhow, of course, it was definitely dumpy and I just stood there with my mouth open, the dogs were screaming, one dog was back inside the room and this thing took him into the brander, basically just standing there with that spun around, took a couple loops and then jumped off the end of the brander and disappeared into the darkness. And obviously, I was pretty shocked at what I'd seen. And apparently I'd seen or whatever I'd seen, it wasn't holding a hug in the bush all my life and it was nothing that I'd ever seen or seen before.

Alright listeners, well, some of you may not know what the Yaoi is. So before we kick in with the Yaoi news and more recordings, let's give a little intro to exactly what it is and what better intro than the actual intro from the quintessential Yaoi book called The Yaoi in Search of Australia's Bigfoot by Tony Healy and Paul Cropper. Available on Amazon, here's the intro that's given here. Australia's most baffling zoological mystery. During the early colonial era, Australia's Aborigines often warned British settlers to be aware of huge ape-like creatures that lurked in the rugged mountains and deep forests

of the island continent. Their people, they said, had been encountering the hairy horrors since time immemorial. They knew them by many names including Doologal, Thoologal, Thurawara and Tajagara. Soon, the colonists too began to experience hair-raising encounters with the hulking, foul-smelling creatures which they referred to as Australian apes, Yahoos or Yoris. Today, they are generally referred to as Yaois. The list of modern-day eye-witnesses include zoologists, rangers, surveyors

and members of the Elite Special Air Service Regiment. So that's it, that's what we're dealing with. It's basically Australia's version of the Bigfoot, which is exciting because, as we know, these hairy hominids aren't just in North America, they're in Europe, they've been seen all over Asia. And so the fact there's some in Australia is not a huge surprise, but what is a surprise is always when you see one. The amazing thing that I love about the Yaoi is that some of the oldest population on Earth,

the Aborigini, have such a fantastic oral history and they have kept their stories and their history alive by passing it down through generations. And the Yaoi, under many different Aboriginal names, has survived all of those stories. And so there's a great oral tradition to be able to actually trace back to this huge hairy hominid. And then there is just so many eye-witness accounts, there's just dozens and dozens. I mean, we found it not hard at all to be able to find all these audio recordings of people who have amazing eye-witness accounts of seeing these creatures up close. And they share as well. Interestingly, I've read that if you were talking to the Aboriginals

through the stories of what the abilities of the Yaoi is, very similar to how Bigfoot or the Yetis have been described, there was that great fact that I always loved about the Yetis, which is that they had the ability to take their feed off and put them on the other way around. The Yaois are said to have their feed on backwards. Really? Yeah, the idea is that it means that you would be able to not track them because they look like they've gone a different direction when you see the way that they are facing. And that's something that is shared by the Bhutanese about the Yeti,

their belief of what they have the ability to do. So it's quite interesting, the parallels that exist in two separate continents that are sort of very drastically similar to each other. And these figures are often depicted on local cave art as tall hairy figures that are standing next to smaller Aboriginal figures. That's cool. And the theories also exist of the, you know, dimensional travelling beings that they come from another dimension,

and also there's UFO theories as well. And that stands in the same law as the North American equivalent. There are researchers in Australia. You've got YaoiHunters.com, which is the official Yaoi research site. That has a lot of really good, enjoyable eyewitness accounts. Cool. I like Kilkoi. Have you heard of Kilkoi? No.

No, who's he? It's a, that would be a cool name for a person, but no, it's a town. Oh! It's a small town in Queensland in Australia. And it's turned itself into, imagine, you know, if you go to Roswell, Roswell is the place of aliens. Oh, yeah. Kilkoi in Queensland is the place of the Yaoi.

So they've transformed themselves into a little town where when you go, they have a statue of the Yaoi. They're on their third statue because the first two disintegrated in weather, I think. So they've replaced it three times now. They should make it out of a bit of material, really. I mean, making it out of soap is probably a bad idea. Yes. You can see that town meeting.

Okay, listen up, guys. This is the third time we've had to redo the statue. Should we change the materials? David? Nah, look, we've still got so much soap here, mate. I mean, none of us are using it for anything else. All right, good point. Let's just keep making it.

What about the ice sculpture? Yeah, that melts as you're making it, Peter. Well, I've got a business here that's gone out of business. Even the ice truck melted. Okay, so let's now kick into the latest Yaoi news, which kind of really got us all excited about Yaois again. And this came out earlier this month. There's been a Yaoi sighted north of Roma.

So on the Carnivon Highway, Australian Yaoi research has shared details of a reported sighting, and it is understood the eyewitness was driving slowly to avoid kangaroos about 15 to 20 kilometers north of Roma when they noticed what appeared to be a large rock on the side of the road. But when she approached the area, a hairy creature of about 152 centimeters, which is about five foot tall, stood beside a dead kangaroo. She described it as an Orban-haired creature. I love it when they're Orban.

I mean, not only because I'm Orban, but I think Orban just gives it that more, it's more believable. Yeah. I think because, you know, sometimes things are black and white, you know, but if you go in the middle there, if you go Orban, it's like, oh, okay, no, I'm taking interest now. So the witness submitted a sketch of the creature. By the way, the sketch is really good.

Oh, yes. Because when you're just showing these guys the sketchlessness. What character does that sound like? That sounded like one of the Wombles. It's going to show you the sketch. Silas Greenback from Danger Mouse. Well done, Dan. Yes, you're never going to get away from me, Danger Mouse.

No. You're never going to get away from me. Hang on. Wasn't he trying to get away from Danger Mouse? No, he was, he was luring. It's like bringing Bond in and keeping Bond. Yeah. He's blow fell.

But then he always escaped. Well, he always got away in the end. Yes. But at that point, he's never getting away from him because he's captured him. He's safe captured you now. It's sounding less and less like him the more I do it. All right, let's go back to this article. Especially all the people in America who are listening are thinking,

who the hell are you, Danger Mouse? Isn't he a DJ? Okay, so. He's a British DJ, isn't he? Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. So the witness did the sketch. The sketch available now shared on Facebook with a skeptical audience.

Why do you share it to a skeptical audience? I can't believe this. Here's one for you. What have you got, Buttons? Well, funnily enough, I'd seen the same story about Katrina having seen this just north of Roma in Australia. But then I saw another report that on the same day at around the same time that she had that sighting,

numerous eyewitness accounts of a very, very strange green fireball moving slowly through the sky. So there's now a great number of people who are linking the two together or wondering if there is a link between the two and wondering whether or not the Yaoi is actually an alien being and that she came down in that green light in the same area.

And that it's an alien sighting more than it is actually a hominid sighting. Well, this excites me because I believe that. I think it's actually, when you think about it logically, more believable that they appear from the skies in a craft of some sort. Then they're already here and are just hiding, especially on the side of highways and things like that.

Because to just notice something out of the blue like that, it's more likely that they have actually appeared out of the blue whether it be through some sort of dimension rift or through some craft that's come in the middle of the night. The sightings of this object were numerous. A great deal of people had seen it and they all described it in a really similar way, which was that it was like nothing they had seen before.

Some people have said that it was moving in such a way that sort of implied advanced technology due to its maneuverability. Probably the most interesting one, somebody said, it looked like a dark rectangular object leaving a jet flame in its wake, which just makes you think of 2001 Space Odyssey. Of course, the astronomers are coming out

assuring everybody that it was almost certainly an Aquarian or Capricornian meteor shower. I didn't even know that star signs could have their own meteor showers. Have you ever looked at a meteor shower and gone, I tell you what, that's a Taurus. That's a Taurus one, that one. Actually, I take it back. It's Pisces. You can tell the way they're connecting.

They're coming in pairs. That's one big one. That'll be Aries. That one looks like it's going to have a really great week and meet somebody who is going to change their perspective on themselves and are likely to win the lotto if they choose the numbers 19, 2, 5 and 7. I'll share those lands with a skeptical audience. You know, there's a big Australian Yaoi Hunter that we've not mentioned just yet.

Oh, yeah? Tim the Yaoi Man. Have you guys heard of him? Yeah. Yeah, Tim the Yaoi Man. Very exciting. What's amazing is that's his actual name now. He defaults into it. He's called Tim the Yaoi Man. Yeah, he's originally called Timothy Bull,

but he's changed it by D-Pole. And he is quite funny because he is this sort of cryptozoologist, but he also is just a general writer for the newspapers. I think he just happens to be a good journalist. So, you know, you'll see articles about Yaois, but then you'll see the Ski Lodge you won't want to leave. It's just like a review of Ski Lodges. Brilliant.

I like that by Tim the Yaoi Man. I think it was close to being Tim the Ski Lodge Man, but he got more positive reviews on his Yaoi stuff. You know what? He'd be really in the running to become the mayor of Kilkoi. What do you think? Yeah, that would be amazing. What better character would you have?

He's got a YouTube channel here, and it's called Tim the Yaoi Man, but of course the acronym of that is TYM, so it's Tim. Going back to something we were talking about earlier, he, back in 2004, after years and years of fighting a legal battle, won a case against Cadbury for their Yaoi chocolates. Because, yeah, when he trademarked his name as Tim the Yaoi Man, they said that people who love their chocolates

might confuse the chocolate with this guy who writes about Ski Lodges, and they didn't want that association to happen, and he fought it, and he won. Yeah, got on. I've got a trailer here for series one of Tim the Yaoi Man YouTube series. Should we just play that and have a quick look into it? Yeah. This is coming soon.

The year's most anticipated online series. Is it? It's a big call. Have you guys heard this year's most anticipated web series? It sounds like something I'd claim. Who's saying it's the most anticipated? Well, everyone, literally everyone I've met. And how often do you go outside?

Well, I can't at the moment. Why not? Busy waiting inside anticipating. Yeah, most anticipation happens inside, I've found. But I'm telling you now, you guys, you should get inside now. You inside, get in there now, and anticipate the hell out of this, because it is gonna be huge.

So I've just got another call here of someone who's anticipating it. Hello? Yeah, can I have a mate? Are you inside? Yeah, I've just come inside. You seeing what I'm seeing? Absolutely. The anticipation is killing me, I tell you.

When's it coming out? I don't know. I've got to go outside in a minute. I'm not looking forward to that. Have you played it yet? No, here we go. Here we go. Here we go.

Here we go. It's so far there's just been shots of him eating pies and being on a hovercraft. I think you're watching the wrong one buttons, because I've got a list of his documentaries here, and you have the options of Haunted Tales of Burnima Homestead, or The Mysteries of Lake George, but you've picked the Great Aussie Pie Challenge.

Oh, God. That makes a lot more sense. I mean, there's always a disappointment. There's one guy who never gets it right. Such good intent. The thing is, it looked a lot more interesting than the yowie adventures that he was having, to be fair, you know?

At the last minute, I changed my mind. And then it's been black, tall, really built. Then came out, and for a second, I thought I had immediate pain in the jug, in a suit, and then I looked closer, and you could just tell that it wasn't something in a suit. Yeah. And I just jumped on the brakes, and I shat myself.

I'm just looking at it going, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what is that. Then from my right, two other ones came out, and the one that, the first one that came out

was sort of smaller than the other two that came out, or they all ruled that they were even bigger. Yeah. Like probably, oh, 7, 7 foot, 8 foot, or they all ruled, big and they all ruled built. They just all ruled, like, one of them stood there, like, on the rows, and the other two were sort of still half in the bush looking at me,

looking at each other, like, they all looked at each other, they're plottin' somethin', and they, like, that's sort of half pointed at the car, like each of them, and they look at each other just like, is it they're plottin' somethin'? Like, I was just freakin' out by this stage, and so I just buried my head between my knees, and then I looked up again, and then I still stand there, and then they started walkin' towards the car, buried my head, and I was just yellin' and it taught me a voice, like, F-R, and like, just yellin' at anything. As you would.

Yeah, I was, like, I was into shock, I, and, like, I had my head down through a while, and I looked up, and I walked around the car, pretty close to the car, like, say, one and a half meters away from the car, and that's, like, I was shooting myself hardcore by this stage, but they just kept walkin' around, sort of doing a U, around the back of the car, because they wouldn't walk in front of the light. One of them's walked around the right side of the car and jumped the headlight, like, with his back facing towards the front of the car, but just kept circling around, just like a U-shape, like, from passenger door to driver's door to passenger door

to driver's door, so they just put their hand out near the window, they didn't touch the window until I couldn't really see how many fingers they had, because I was, like, like, I was sweating, and I had, like, water in my eyes, and I was almost crying my eyes out. I've got air horns in my car, and I thought, oh, yeah, bit of these, and then, um, that'll scare them off, and, like, I sat on the air horn for a while, and then they just ran off, like, as soon as I jumped on the air horn, they just ran off. That was it, I was just sitting there, thinking, Cam, I like you to host. And then my girlfriend picked me up, because I, I couldn't, I didn't really feel

a drive at that, at that point, so I just, my girlfriend picked me up. It's been a, it's been a yaoi show, hasn't it? It's been a waoi yaoi show. Have you guys enjoyed it? Loved it. Ah, I loved it, loved it. Because, guess what, we're coming, uh, to the end, but it's now time for, um, for some, for some verbal art, because I tell you what, doing the research for this yaoi stuff, and as you can tell, I've done a lot of it. Uh, there's a lot of yaoi poems out there.

Like any, like any, uh, cryptozoology, uh, theme, people love to do, um, fan art, and, and I looked at the poetry, and I thought, I should read, you know, some of this poetry for this, uh, for this episode. And then I thought, no, go one step further, and I have written my own poem, guys. That's very cool. You've written, literally written your own poem. Is this your first ever poem? No! I'm quite the poet, had you known me years ago. Uh, yeah, no, it's not my, it's not my first rodeo, but it's-

No, your first published poem. It's certainly my most recent. Um, well, I'm not sure if this is going to get published, but I guess it will now that we're doing one a week, and I'm going to write a poem for every, every creature we discuss. And now this is, this is the yaoi one, so, so please sit back and enjoy. And first, let's do the sting. Let's do the sting, Buttons. The sting we haven't done since, we haven't done it since 2000, and probably eight or nine. But this, and this is how stings used to be, guys.

Ten years ago, they didn't used to be as complicated as they are today, stings. They used to just be nice and simple. Oh, they didn't, they didn't get celebrity voiceover artists coming in, and recording, and getting the main trot. It's like the early Beatles albums, you know, they just got their guitars, and they just sung their songs, and everybody loved them. Then later on, they started getting into techno, didn't they? When the Beatles got into techno, that was, it all fell apart.

Yeah, so this is, this is in mono as well, isn't it? This will be a very early steel recording, found in a tent during the, the early cryptid factor days of just a whole bunch of dreams and ideas, and one mic, a mini disc player, and a, and a half a pair of jandals. Is this thing? Isn't the ad segment, it should have been called the ad, so it sounds horrible, it's got ad, and then it's about ad. This is called The Cryptid Finder's Fee by Rhys Dabi.

Yowee, yowee, where are you? Why do you exist? I saw you once and told my mate, but he thought that I was pissed. Do you seek us out for observation? Only pick a few? Then evade our cameras, freak us out, and return to dimension two? What's in your world that you need to leave it and scramble about in hours? And isn't you in UFOs mutilating cows?

Yeah, a bit of jaw, just a blood and eyeball for your broth. Reveal yourself, I'm like yourself, we're cut from the same cloth. So take me back to yowee world, your kind can discover me, and I promise we'll split it down the middle, that Cryptid Finder's Fee. Wow, there you go, that was great. That was beautiful. That was awesome. I feel quite moved, that's really nice.

What's dimension two? Is that a 2D dimension? Does he go into like some sort of flat Simpsons cartoon? It's just another dimension, dimension two. There's millions of dimensions, that's where the yowee's are from too. That's a beautiful poem, that's a very beautiful poem. Thank you, well and of course next week as discussed we're going to do... What?

Oh sorry, I looked up yowie poems and I found a little girl who's written a yowie poem as well. Well don't put that on because it might be better than mine and so far. Reese was plagiarised, it took six-year-old girl. I just wanted to quickly check to make sure I hadn't written it before. Now we haven't got time to check that now. For an instance, I thought there was a bear caught in the fence. Just for an instant I thought, what is this? And I thought it was a bear, it sounded like a bear caught in the fence.

What, it was still making a noise at the time that you saw it? It was not a calling, it was a distressed noise. It was, it was a distressed noise. And it was, I mean as you came close upon it and saw this figure, it was still making the noise. It was going, later it was going, but very stressed, screeching. When the headlights of the four-wheeler first hit this thing, I thought it was a bear.

It was facing the fence and it was in between two poor paws and I saw it back and it was bent over and I saw it back. And I thought it was a bear because it had quite shagged hair. And it was a light brownie, pretty brownie colour. It was pushing the fence down, down into the ground, like crushing the fence down. For an instant I thought it was a bear until it stood up and it wasn't a bear. Well when you said it stood up, what was it doing first off? It was crushing the fence down and making this distressed noise like it was caught in the fence,

but it didn't appear to be caught in the fence, it was just screaming about something. I don't know what it was screaming about, but it was crushing the fence down. It didn't look, it didn't look my way, but when it stood up, I screamed. I screamed and I swung the four-wheeler around so hard I nearly flipped it over and I screamed. As I turned sharp when it stood up, it started to run down along the fence. It was a reddish brown hair, it looked to me about seven foot. Thumbs were very long, they were longer than they would have went down to its knees. Okay.

Thumbs were long, they were long, there was no neck and it had no shoulders as in the shoulders, we had the shoulders which is like sloped. I was screaming all the way back, just screaming and screaming like hysterical. And when I got back, the dogs were still, they were howling and crying and they weren't locked in though, this is the thing, they could have come up with me but they didn't. This night they were in their pens screaming and carrying on like idiots and they're quite vicious dogs, there's one there that's an attack trained dog, it's quite a very good guard dog, quite vicious. I was really scared so I drove right to the stairs and ran up the stairs and I actually

locked the door and then I locked the veranda and I shut all the windows and I turned most of the lights out and then I ran into the bedroom and I actually, we've got a big lock on the bedroom door, I locked the bedroom door as well. Well that's it, that is Yawies, that was the Yawies special, did you enjoy it? Yes, thank you very much. Good, nice one lads, as long as we enjoyed it. Yawies was brought to you by the letter Y because you know, why not, it's a bit of fun. And now just to finish things off, who can forget one of the latest segments that's

been brought out, people have been talking about it, it's the notice board, the cryptid factor notice board. It's a notice board, it's a notice board, did you notice it? No, a little bit but then I got bored. Notice board. Yeah, all right now, fantastic notice board news this week and buttons, you're going to be excited about it because it's my first children's book is coming out, Buttons McGinty. There it is, for those of you at home that can't see, I'm holding up my new book, this is a children's book, my first book that I've written for children, basically the ages of eight to twelve and it's a journal of a boy called Buttons who goes on this crazy adventure, he's sent to this school called Reefglam, which stands as an acrimon, an acrimon.

That's an acrimon. It's an acrimon and it's... What sort of a school is that? You find out about it in the book, I won't reveal too much but he goes to this, I'm not really selling this very well and I'm too tired. Well, apart from the titles, amazing, where did you get the idea for the title? It's a funny name, it's a funny name for a kid, it's a cute funny name. Was it inspired by, like, I mean, was it inspired by anybody? I'm just wondering. People that we sort of looked into and things like that, but yeah, I kind of think there's definitely inspiration there. In fact, you might even be written in the front here, under the, yes, the thank you to the two Leon, you're in there.

Yeah, okay, along with a few others. Yeah, so, you know, it's definitely an inspiration on this. As I say, correcting myself from earlier, it goes to Reefglam, which stands for rank twerp island, education fortress for gifted lame unruly minors, and that's the school he's sent to, and it's on an island, it's a bit like Alcatraz, if you will, because his parents have gone missing. Yeah, his parents. You really have, this is all stuff that happened to me in my childhood. This is my story. So this book is coming out October 1st, and it is in the style of a journal. I've done all the artwork in it myself. So it's basically all his notes and scribbles and all the drawings. And it's kind of like an Indiana Jones notebook, basically. And there's no book

out there like this for kids. It's kind of really great. It's got lots of Morse code in it. There's a Morse code code at the back, and there's heaps of messages that you can figure out and you figure out the plot thickens as it goes, and you work out how he solves this mystery. And it's only, it's book one, and there's going to be more. So I'm excited to announce that. Well done, bro. That's so good. It's so cool. And we've read a very, very early chapter of the book when you started writing it, and it was just, it was unput downable. It was awesome. I can't wait for my little boy to be old enough for me to read this to him. And yeah, the full title, just everyone's got it, the top secret undercover notes of Buttons

McGinty. Yeah, that's it. And great character development in it, guys. It's really good. The character's really sort of like come alive. And it's just, it's like you know them. It's like reading the characters. And it's like, oh, that might just be me, but it's like you're reading the character, and it feels like you're in the book. It feels like you've been written about. Oh, well done, Ray. Like writing, I have no idea how you like make a cryptozoology podcast, act in the odd movie, TV show, commercial, and write a children's book at the same time. To be, that's stellar effort. Oh, thank you. It keeps me busy. It keeps me young. And I look forward to the kids getting

this and sort of doing a tour. It's going to be everywhere. You'll hear about it from October 1st. You stopping at Killcoy on your Australian tour? Yes. And finally enough, there is possibly a Yaoi in the book. There is a, without giving too much away, there is a hairy hominid. Obviously, it's my book. So there's a creature does turn up. So possibly a Yaoi. Hey, well, just while we're in the notice board. It's quite a long segment now, isn't it? Notice board is going on. And I've noticed that notice board is really just an opportunity for us to sell our shit. So I've actually got a second hand pair of skis that are 185 centimetres tall. They're well used, but still got some good life for them. I'm after 120 bucks.

I'll probably, I'm open to offers. If people want to reach out, that'll be really good. I've also got a second hand dog blanket, which I've got most of the hair off, but that's going for $25. So. Oh, that's sort of a, that's the question, what happened to the dog, isn't it? It's sort of a sad giveaway there. Yeah, a ski accident. Yes. Are you the guy that owned that skiing dog? Because I saw there was a horrific accident last year. This idiot who thought his dog could ski. No, my dog, my dog. Push him down a mountain. There's nothing left of him. He's never seen again.

Trying to sell the any of the evidence that existed. No, I just, I just, you know, the dog, I just, it's, it just doesn't want the blanket anymore. Okay. He's just finished with the blanket. He's moved on to a duvet. He's, he's now got a duvet. All right. Well, we've done it. Let's go out. What better way to go out on the end of a fantastic Yaoi special than with one final Yaoi eye witness account. Get ready to have your hairs on the back of your neck raised. Let's do it. Bye everyone. Bye. Bye bye. Bye. That pad was worth it. We decided to go for a drive out to Dengar Falls to have a look.

I decided to go for a walk down to the head of the falls. Yeah. And I was walking down the path. They've got a fairly well-made path. And after me, right, something caught my eye. There's a track and I looked down and I could hear rocks being thrown. And I, I looked and I could see it sort of black, very, like great big long arms, very tall. And it was back onto me. It was all black and covered in hair and it's picking up rocks and throwing them at these kids, these kids were down in the creek. Anyway, and then it took off and I just kept going to the head of the falls and on the way back up the path, I'm thinking about what I saw and the kids are coming down the track of their parents and the father said, oh, it's just your imagination. It was just your imagination.

You're seeing things. They weren't seeing things. So that's basically what I saw. It was probably about eight foot tall. I guess that's what, when I thought, oh, there's someone in the bush chucking stones, when I looked at it, no, no person. It's too tall. It was just really tall and just black, black hair basically. And how, it sort of, how far away was it from the path? Probably about 15, 20 meters. And you, so this thing was actually moving around? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's throwing rocks. Okay. So you saw it for when you first saw it, was it throwing or was it just moving around or like moving around when I first bought it? But I could hear, I could hear it pop, pop. There's

something, so like not little stones, rocks. I could hear them. No, that's what, that's probably one of the main things that caught me caught me attention was the sound of the rocks being thrown. And when it throwed, it did it throw overarm or underarm? How did it throw it halfway between? I guess. How many rocks did you see it throw? Yeah, quite a few. And how long were you looking at it for? Quite a while. Probably half a minute. So sort of describe it, was it, I'm looking at the back of it, was it like looking at the back of a human? Very long arms, very, very broad back. If you're looking at the thing, I mean, how tall would you say it was? I'm at eight foot. And how wide across

the back? Oh, it really would. A lot wider than any person. Did it look like a muscly thing? I mean, could you see muscles or was it just big? Big and airy.