The Cryptid Factor - 43: #043 The Returning Issue

Episode Date: August 11, 2020

... and we are back!!! Just like the proverbial Phoenix from the fire, our three cryptid adventurers have risen back to the airwaves at a time when the world seems like it needs a little weird more than ever before.  Tune in for retiring Cats and Wizards, a swinging squatch, a thieving hog, and much more!

The Cryptid Factor, with Rhys Darby and Dan Schreiber. Hello! We are back. Can you believe it? The world was falling apart, so we had to return. In 2020, we're here to save you. The three of us have returned. Woohoo! What is this? After like a year, I've been away. That's our intro. I lost confidence. Just the silence. It was hard. It was a hard intro. If you lose confidence, just give yourself a woohoo. It's the only... I gave a speech at school once, and it went nowhere, and there was a big pause, and I just went, Woohoo! And you won the competition.

People started laughing. And it just spurred on a bit of, yeah, no, it isn't woohoo. Let's do it. Honestly, so many politicians could learn so much from you about how to get people on board in a rally. Not only that, but I then took that woohoo-ness into the army, and as a sergeant in cadets, I would use that as a force to get us through the bush, so when people are a bit down, I'd go, come on, guys, woohoo! And then everyone would go, woohoo! And the enemy would go, I've worked out where they are. Darby's in command. We've got them. He's woohoo-ing. So it was often followed by a, oh no! Get down!

Anyway, we haven't even got on the tracks yet, and we're off the tracks. Wow, it has been quite some time since we've all sat here. So much has happened. Well, so much has happened that an entire other podcast has happened. We have done. Now, of course, you know, Dan's been doing his own thing, many things. I'm not going to speak for you, Dan, but we all know about your fantastic podcast success. Leon and I went and did Aliens Like Us. We did 10 episodes of that, and we spoke to some amazing people about the UFO situation, which is still growing to this day. Disclosure is, that door is almost open. We can literally see the aliens on the other side,

but we can't grab them or put our hands through mainly because of COVID as well. So they're kind of closing the door as well going, nah, you've had your time now. You're kind of, you know, put your masks on. You're sort of peaking through the letterbox is effectively what you're doing. You're flipped up on the inside, yeah. You know someone's home. We've proven they're there. I think that was all I wanted to do with that series. They are real. Whether they are us from the future or not is another, I think, Buttons will say yes to that.

Of course it will. And I see, I think what happened is that with disclosure happening, the aliens are sitting there going, everybody's getting a little too close. And then our show came out and the aliens were like, oh, no, they get a note. No, they've got the experts on now. And nobody's seen a UFO since we did that show, I think. Really? Yeah, because all the aliens... It's a big call. I know that's not true.

But I'll go with it. Yeah. But I think that they just knew that we were going to be the ones that were going to reveal it all. And that's why we only got one series as well, is because the aliens contacted Spotify, I think, and said, you've got to shut this shit down. OK, so hang on, hang on, hang on. We were on the brink of working out that life in the universe existed. We were finally getting the answer to the big thing. And you two...

Well, we were, you were there. You two then have stopped that. You've scared them away and we no longer will have contact with aliens, thanks to aliens like us. Yeah. That's not something to be proud of. Yeah, I think... Well, there's got to be a reason for the sudden shutdown after getting too close.

And, you know, and I think COVID then struck the world, you know, and a serious note that kind of put everyone into a crazy spin. Felt like we all fell into another dimension. Everyone left where they were. They left where they were. It's done wonders for my vernacular and the way I speak. It's amazing. How do you do that?

But long story short, Buttons and I left the states. We fled back to New Zealand, which, you know, as you know, ended up becoming safe after a good lockdown and a well-behaved society. What about you, Dan? What happened to you during the COVID era?

I was sitting in my in-laws' house getting ready to have our second child. Fenella and I were getting ready for our second baby and it hit. So we ended up having our second son during the peak week of COVID in the UK, in a hospital that was a COVID hospital. But he arrived. He's safe. His name's Ted Harpo Schreiber,

and this is a photo from him earlier tonight. Oh, look at that. Oh, look at that shirt he's wearing. Oh, my God. Do you know what he's wearing? Another member. Another member. Buttons.

He is wearing a baby grow that you sent for my first son that took so long to arrive. It never fit my first son. And I had to pick it up. Can you put it up? Oh, my God. You know what? No, I knew that.

I knew you were going to... I can see into the future. I knew you were going to have another son. And I sent that gift early. So... Nice. There we go. So this is my son, Ted Harpo Schreiber,

in a cryptid factor baby grow, sent by Buttons. There it is. That's a beautiful shot. Now, can I just also confirm now, those are available aren't they online at the cryptid factor store? Is that correct?

That is correct. Can I also get a cryptid factor shower curtain, a cryptid factor beach towel, and some cryptid factor socks? That's right. I don't forget the iPhone 6 cover. Just the iPhone 6. Yeah, just the iPhone 6.

That was a great iPhone. It's the most popular iPhone, I believe. Yeah. Don't believe the hype about the 7s and the 8s. OK, so... Well, that's good. Good. Well, I think we've all caught up.

By the way, I'm no longer in New Zealand. I've had to return to LA. I've got to reconfirm my green card situation. But my plan is to return to New Zealand soon and quarantine again and... Yeah, it's a weird life right now. And that's a weird picture. It looks like we're just...

Buttons, that's your gut. What the hell? I just thought I'd show you quickly that I've been eating a lot during lockdown. Not only have I worked on my standby chin quite a bit, but I'm quite proud of how that's coming along. Your backup safety chin is very good. But also, my tummy is...

I've expanded that, so I've done quite a lot of... So New Zealand's been good to you? It's been too safe. New Zealand's been too safe. I haven't had to run away from anybody and get exercise. It's been fine. I love that Reese is telling us something really sincere

and important about his trip to America and how he's being responsible and not going out. And you're like, alright, this is getting a bit dull. How do I save this? Show me your tummy. Show me your tummy, Buttons. I'm bored. Luke, I've got a tummy! I've got a tummy!

Guys, guys, look! No, to be fair, I was just looking over my laptop lid and I just closed it a little bit. So for every now and then... Don't keep doing it! Please, don't keep doing it! Anyway, it feels good to be back. I think there's a lot of listeners out there

that definitely need us right now. They need cryptozoology. They need weekly WorldWare news. And they need the three of us bantering our tails off in three completely separate locations on Earth. Here, here. Here, here.

Here, here, and here. Here, here, here. Alright, well, let's kick into the show. Let's do our first segment. Weekly World Weird News. Crazy. Freaky. Watch out. Shall we do headlines? Yeah, let's rock into headlines.

Let's do our headline off. What have you guys got? Well, I've got... This is something a bit close to home to you boys. But I found this fascinating. And this will probably be very obvious to you guys as New Zealanders, but to the rest of the world. I think this will be fascinating.

There is an interesting dispute about whether or not New Zealand is going to continue to have a government official wizard going forward. Oh. You currently have a wizard. He's paid $10,000 a year. But he's going to have to hand over to another wizard

and we don't know if that post is going to continue. It's all up for grabs. Why does he have to... Why does he have to hand it over? He's 87 years old. We're just doing headlines. We're not going to divulge it when we're going into the news. Oh, God.

But did you just say he's 87? He's 87 years old, so he's ending his wizarding life. This is a Gandalf Frodo moment. Oh, wow. I mean, this... You're literally talking about Gandalf, aren't you? Are you on the Lord of the Rings fan side again? Are you?

I told you, none of that's real. This is... We'll get into it, but that's my headline. What have you got? Well, unfortunately, I've got some sad news. Palmerston has retired. What? Palmerston.

So more about that when we get into the actual story. Oh, okay. What have you got, Buttons? Okay, my headline is very worthy, is Mum inundated with Chewbacca Roars after bitter breakup. Oh.

Okay. There you go. That actually rings a bell, that one. Does it? What's it about? It's a space bell. Oh. That's...

Yeah, that is very spicy. It also sounds like a really futuristic door opening. Well, that's someone who saw you coming to ring the door but got there just as you rang it and opened the door. Yeah.

Okay. Should we go into those newses or do another round of headlines? We can do another round. Let's go into those stories. Let's go into those stories and then we'll do another round after that and pick which one's the best

or how does it work? I can't remember. It's been so long. Yeah, well, we don't have to... I mean, my one will be the best. That's what's happening here. LAUGHTER No, look... Let's go into those ones.

LAUGHTER Guys, I just knew that that one was going to be good enough to... I saw that one and said, I can stop researching now. You know why I said it rang a bell because it's about two years older. LAUGHTER So you have not changed?

No, it's like... It's been about two years since we did the last show, so it's still new. So you just got overflowing news from the last seasons? I'm going to catch up. We're going to do, like... No story left, I'm told, guys.

LAUGHTER There is so much good material that I'm not going to look past, okay? In other news, the iPhone 6 has just been released, and we've got awesome new merchandise in the crypto-factor store. LAUGHTER

What's that? You've gone back to the iPhone 6. Good on you, because we've got brand-new covers. LAUGHTER Hey, it's just that people need to hear these stories. True. All right, well, let's kick in then. Dan, you go first. Yeah, so New Zealand has a wizard,

and this is a wizard that you guys gained back in the... I think it was the 1970s. So this is... We're talking very much pre-the association that New Zealand has with, obviously, the Hobbit and Lord of the Rings. And he's a British guy originally,

called Ian Brackenbury, and he settled in New Zealand in the 70s, and he did it as a sort of joke, but he eventually became wizard after he was invited to a town which was not far from Christchurch, Waimati, and they had a drought on

in 1988, so the organisers of a local agricultural fair invited him to perform a rain dance, and he came and he did, and after a few hours it started raining, and he was just seeing... Wow. They didn't think that he'd actually done magic, but they thought, well, this guy's good luck,

so at the time there was a Prime Minister you guys had in the 90s called Mike Moore, and Mike Moore wrote to him, he gave an official letter suggesting that he should consider becoming an official wizard of New Zealand, and Antarctica as well.

So New Zealand and Antarctica. Oh, including Antarctica. He wrote that in, and any offshore areas as well. So literally the wizard of two continents, Zelandia and Antarctica. Exactly. How could you say no to that? Yeah, so he got given a salary,

and he's had a salary ever since, which has been $10,000 American, so $16,000 New Zealand, roughly, and it's just what a cool thing. He's big for overseas people. When people go over, they visit him. He's on TripAdvisor.

He's got four out of five stars as a human on TripAdvisor. Wow. But he's 87. So there's a lot of talk about what happens when he steps down, and for the last few years he's had an apprentice wizard who's a bit annoyed he's called an apprentice wizard. He thinks of himself as an actual wizard.

He's done it for so long now. And the idea is that it's going to be handed over to him, but because it's a government thing, who knows if Jacinda or however your elections go in September, whoever's going to... So Jacinda.

I think literally the whole world is hoping that happens. Who knows if she's going to continue honoring this new wizard with the agreement of the old wizard. So big times in the wizarding world in New Zealand.

Can I just say this? That Jacinda is the one person who during the lockdown named the Tooth Fairy as one of the essential services. So going on that basis, I would say that she's probably

going to continue with the wizard. If she doesn't, the fairies are going to be really angry. I would concur and just as a side note I know of the wizard when I lived in Christchurch. I had some dealings

with the guy. What happened? Some dealings? Was he selling drugs? I was wanting to cast a spell. I was looking for the Eye of Newt and Frog's Tun.

I was unlucky in love. You know me. I've always wanted to get with a girl and I thought if I had some sort of love potion something that I could concoct and maybe I'd do a bit better with the ladies at university. But anyway,

he didn't really help out much in that regard but I do recall seeing him a lot in Cathedral Square in Christchurch. He had a V-Dub mini, sorry, a V-Dub V-Dub and literally, I joined two cars

there for no reason, but ironically how did he? Because this V-Dub that he had, had had the front half of a V-Dub for the front half of the car and then the back half of the car was also the front of a V-Dub so he'd cut the car in half

two fronts of a V-Dub joined them together and that was his car. It was ridiculous. It was like a push me pull move. Push me pull you. Push me pull you. Pull move, pull move. There's a couple of things with that Rhys

that you just pointed out. You went to get a love potion which you said didn't work. I'd encourage you to never play this episode to Rosie your wife. This is before her time. Yeah, but it clearly worked

at some point. Maybe it took a while to kick in. Yeah. But then secondly, I don't believe that for a second. I reckon you had gone to the wizard to make a pact to become the New Zealand's funniest man and he gave you some

kind of potion. No one can believe that I'm naturally this gifted. Exactly. You're too gifted. It's not plausibly ever possible for one man to be this funny and I reckon you sold your soul to

the wizard and he's got it in a little jar somewhere and I reckon that he is the keeper of your soul and but in exchange you gave you the great gift of comedy and at some point there's going to be like a crossroads movie kind of style playoff

where you versus Satan telling the best jokes ever and it would be like You know what? I mean I'm loving this as a movie idea. See another free movie idea. I think we've got it. That's a great one. I can see the scripting of that.

It's a bit like Pick of Destiny and also all of the Lord of the Rings films and crossroads and crossroads not to mention crossroads but yeah well you know my secrets will not be revealed but yes that wizard he's a very famous

and you know I was just saying to my wife the other day who I met and fell in love with due to a magic potion that whatever happened to the wizard and we were thinking about that and so you've just enlightened us it's something I think we need to stay on top of is this going to happen?

Is he going to get the 16,000 New Zealand every year to continue wizarding? Let's all write to Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern Guys you don't need to write. Let's be totally frank here you two know her so well you could literally text her right now

Everybody does. Everybody could text her right now in New Zealand Everybody gets given her number. It's like do you want something changed in New Zealand? Just text this number Text me now What about her 0800 ads in the morning her infomercials

Are you happy? If not, text me now Or just come and see me. I'm just outside Because we can go outside No masks required It's so true That's so amazing. Can I ask quickly Reese about his V-Dub V-Dub When he's driving

it's only obviously got one direction. He hasn't put two engines in that can go both way presumably I don't know the exact details they are presumed. Only one half of it's got the engine in which will be probably still in the back

It drives normally I haven't seen it for years. I don't know what happened It would look like he's reversing If he was in front of you he'd be reversing away from you That's incredible. Can I just point a couple of things out? I'm sorry to be just such a, you know, First of all, the engine in a

Volkswagen Beetle is in the back So effectively he has two fronts with no engine in them So it's probably more likely it's like a Flintstones car and he's running underneath Yeah, maybe there's no engine Yeah, and then secondly

I think it's when you're going the other way towards, I think that's called reverse You could probably just, the engine probably has the ability to like go in reverse and then it looks like it's going frontwards even when it's in reverse So reverse wouldn't

actually be called reverse. It would just be called the one gear forward that way and then the other way would have four gears forward Show us your tummy again Wow, that's interesting stuff There you go

There we go Oh, you've actually lost weight in it Yes, yeah, I've been very stressful for the last 20 minutes Is that where you store your bullshit and then when you get rid of it I've lost about 3 pounds of

bullshit in the last 20 minutes It's been amazing Guys, by the end of the show I'm going to be so fat It's honestly Well anyway That's a mystical start to the show Now, let's move

into some sad news. Palmerston has retired Now, I'm not talking about Palmerston North the city in New Zealand, which let's be honest retired back in the 70s I'm actually I'm talking about Palmerston

the UK's top diplomatic cat and official chief Mauser who until recently worked at the UK foreign office So unfortunately or rather fortunately for him he's decided to retire this beautiful little cat

apparently had such a good time during lockdown that he has decided to leave the sorting out of internal foreign affairs to the humans So not only did this cat retire, he

sent an official letter So an official letter was sent in his name to Simon McDonald the office's permanent undersecretary which explained that he wanted more time away from the limelight I have found

life away from the front line relaxed, quieter and easier a letter signed with two poor prince said and it was posted on on Twitter Boris Johnson having such a bad time that even the cats are handing in

designation notes in this country I want to show you a cute picture of this cat there he is he's beautiful look at him awesome does he look so cool

he looks really young he doesn't look like he's retirement age how old is he he's been there for ages Palmerston who was named after the longest serving British Foreign Secretary Lord Palmerston arrived in April

2016 as a rescue cat he had plenty of company though sometimes less than smooth diplomatic relations with Larry, the cat in residence at nearby 10 Downing Street the two were sometimes seen fighting on the street outside the British Prime Minister's

home that was big news here I remember him and Larry having problems that's having issues Larry and Palmerston that was sort of headline BBC news here when that happened so just to finish off the story

John Benjamin director of the department's diplomatic academy wished him a very happy retirement he left us a slightly chewed dead mouse next to my desk at UK DIP Academy once

he tweeted adding we were of course not very grateful but he's doing his job I can see a movie coming like a 00 poor sort of a cat spy movie I know they've done Cats vs Dogs

which was a spy thing which was you know do you know the movie and here's another free movie idea for the world to take we need one every few minutes a cat that is there as the official

mouser but actually late at night when he's got free run of entire parliament it's going in and changing everything around and changing policies and moving bits and pieces around that actually make a real life effect

on the country so he's going into the computer and opens up a file on the keyboard and changes like key parts of policies that then get passed in parliament and the world becomes a better place

or worse place if it's an evil cat I've got the title pardon me pardon me pardon me pardon me the worst title ever created oh no that's really good

I don't want to work it works for me I think it only works with that title because you have no confidence in the movie whatsoever with that title and then you'll be blown away by how average it is

okay well then on to my story with the fantastic title of Chewbacca a mum inundated with Chewbacca Roars a bitter breakup so this is kind of a little bit of

a terrible story and I'm not encouraging this kind of activity at all but it is Australia and we know how Australians can be quite frankly they can be a bit bitter, they can be a bit revengeful and basically what's

happened is there's been a bitter breakup between this lovely woman and a bit of a psychopath boyfriend and to get his revenge this ex boyfriend has put notices up all around their local town

that say Chewbacca Roar contest call this number leave a voicemail with your best impersonation of Chewbacca and win a hundred dollars and so people just will not stop calling this woman

and leaving their Chewbacca noises which is terrible for this woman, like how petty what a stupid thing but can I though just quickly play to you the news article from Australian media

channel 9 I think, here we go Akan's mother has been forced to block dozens of calls after her ex-partner allegedly took her phone number and plastered on polls here around the CBD telling people to call up and impersonate Chewbacca for a chance to win

a hundred dollars this would be the most childish breakup I've ever had all you had to do was be mature and go I don't love you anymore, I want to move on the calls have been waking her and her three young children up at odd hours in the evening and they're yet to stop

I won five hundred well I'm getting phone calls at really strange hours of the night about one o'clock till four o'clock I'm going to call up three Wookiees and tear down the posters so those two Wookie calls one was actually fantastic

but also I think that actually deserves a hundred dollars I don't condone the activity it's terribly juvenile but it was a great Chewbacca call the first one really good almost like it might have been off Star Wars

oh that's a good one that's actually a genius idea why wouldn't you just call the number and play a Chewbacca call from the movie well why would you do that anyway why would you do any of it

after winning a hundred dollars I suppose yeah but if you thought if you thought it was legit and if it was legit if there was like a strange Chewbacca call competition did she say she was calling them back at the end of that piece

so she had to determine which one got the hundred bucks this this gives me an idea though we should have a line that people can call for us and they could do their best Yeti or Sasquatch impression

oh yes and leave it on leave it on a line for us and we can play them in the show why don't we do that it could be a nice positive I'll give you the phone number I've got the phone number here hang on we better not give them my phone number give them that ladies phone number

oh no okay well that's a good first round of news do we want to do another round we could do quickies let's do a couple of quickies I got a super quickie which I just think is a very fun bit of advice that's been issued by a national park

which is US government issues bear advice friends don't let friends get eaten that's good advice the very basics of it is that they've warned against sacrificing slower friends of a bear attacks

they're encouraging people if you're running away from a bear and you know your friend is slower to not sacrifice them even if the friendship has run its course that's great that is brilliant you know that when we're all out camping

and a bear is chasing us we should probably take a little vote right now as to which one of us gets sacrificed well it's easy it's just you it's buttons because you're the closest

to being the size of a bear and on your no honestly when you're on your hind legs you're quite bearish and I've seen you especially when you get excited and wave from a distance your front legs

when you wave your front legs your paws are quite big and so I think the bear might like like you and not eat you and just say oh he's a brother so I think that's the best option that's exactly what would happen we'd see buttons half an hour later as we're crying

that we'd left our friend guys I've got a guest for the podcast we would have you would fully have made buddies with him you can get on with any species and I think that's one of your skills that's why I'll be invited on the campaign trip just as a

bear protection and I was also thinking with this new rule I was thinking that maybe it could be a hot thing to do maybe well no hot's probably not the right word but a popular thing to do for couples who are gonna break up

go into the woods to break up you know the relationships run its course were you taking me oh we're just going into the woods I told you I'm not interested in you anymore yeah neither am I with you let's go into the woods and do this for final why are we going into the woods and then

a grizzly bear suddenly arrives and then the you know the survival of the fittest what happened to your boyfriend I dumped him in the woods this makes the Chewbacca voicemail look so tame in comparison we just left you you got people leaving

Chewbacca voicemails my fucking guy had me eaten almost and there's definitely a link there hey have you heard about these mystery seeds no so there are packets of mystery seeds are being sent to people all around the world

and yeah small bags of seeds turning up in various countries reportedly all sent from China that's one of the you know ideas but apparently these seeds are turning up in the US Europe Canada the UK and even New Zealand come on

they're coming through customs marked as earrings or earbuds so that they avoid biosecurity and they just turn up to random people yeah and they're just and so people don't know how they get in the addresses of random people and also they're the governments

saying to people do not plant these seeds because they don't know what's the story with them the idea that you're getting a mystery packet of seeds you open it up because you know in this day and age with all this weird stuff going on

I imagine receiving seeds and then thinking oh well I'll plant those that's the first thing I'll do with them but you would you would want to see definitely yeah you know what I would do I would get a glass house

and then build another glass house on top of that glass house so it's like a double insulated glass house and then I would put the seed in there and I would like spray weed killer all around the outside so it couldn't like if it started growing too much

you know like there would be a point that couldn't grow anymore like just basically like create like a laboratory to grow I would desperately want to see what these things are like imagine it's freaky though it is freaky but you definitely want to see what it could be Jack in the bean store

type stuff it could be magic beans it could be you'd hope so but listen to this Florida has recorded more than 630 instances with one man claiming to have received three shipments in a week of these seeds

a woman in Texas said she had received seeds in April and planted them mistaking them for a gift but no results as yet it's really weird right I mean it's very that's a really cool

it's a cool idea for an alien invasion because you know we don't know if any kind of alien that's going to visit the earth what kind of material is going to be based off ET I don't know if you guys know this but he's not animal he's vegetable he comes from a vegetable planet he's made of vegetable that's the

backstory of ET so imagine sending seeds to an entire planet and you're planting the army that's going to take over backyards all over the planet have planted the enemy that grow I've actually got some shocking into this story

because I have received myself no you haven't no and I'm going to do this live on here right now I'm going to why not I'm going to actually eat one of the seeds no what yeah I mean what could possibly go on

don't do it don't do it but you're not is that not really a seed what is it what's it taste of it's like a sunflower seed it's weird they just look like

sunflower seeds I'm just going to eat a couple and just see if anything happens to me over the show are they actual did you actually get seeds you've actually eaten them I'm feeling like I probably shouldn't no shit

have you what's going on feel okay this is classic behaviour for someone who approaches a New Zealand wizard to get love potions but he's now eating Chinese seeds sent to him in the mail what could go wrong it's 2020

no fear well more update on that after this I'm going to have to go and get a drink actually I'll be back in a second okay oh god it would just be like him for to be the person where the alien invasion starts from

from inside his stomach he would be effectively recreating the alien movie he gets all the luck wait hang on the guy in the alien movie who has it burst through his chest no one else was going he gets all the luck but he became famous

like you know he's like he lived in pop culture you're right you're right actually they made figurines of him I mean we've all got to die why wouldn't you want to die with an alien bursting from your stomach are you alright

I'm fine are you sure I'm fine we were just saying that it's just like you to be the lucky guy that gets to have an alien burst from your stomach just like the movies I want an alien to burst from my stomach

I was arguing that that's not that's not necessarily like the cool thing in the movie you're not going damn I want to be that guy Sigourney Weaver no guys

these are just nuts by the way they weren't really the seeds typical I didn't receive I didn't receive any seeds these are mixed nuts I mean it doesn't need to be said but 50% of us knew that they were not the nuts

why I wouldn't I wouldn't put it past him I'm a good actor and now and again I've got to prove it and keep proving it to you guys it's a lot of disbelief well I was there I was believing it was right on you think that the

wizard cast a spell on me to make me such a magical brilliant genius well I'm the same you could have been I say nuts to you what's amazing is Buttons buys all of this he buys the china seeds

he buys the wizard potion when he doesn't buy is a VW cut in half slab together that doesn't make any sense there's no engine in that guys there's no engine there's two luggage compartments you can't drive two luggage compartments

let's replay that really dull moment where Buttons described how the car can't possibly work that was a stunning piece of comedy there he is now I'm just saying backwards is actually

going forwards so it's just one backwards gear and then you're doing it again hahahaha attention all personnel it's time for this week's cryptid well

there as you can imagine has been a lot of cryptid news while we've been away now of course we can't catch up on all of it but you know now is a time when people are locked down when people aren't working

so much when the world has changed when perhaps the creatures are coming out more what do you think guys? I think yeah you know the way that foxes in London are like retaking over the streets I feel like cryptids this is their time to sort of just

let loose and not have to have to worry about being hunted yeah well there's definitely less of that sort of thing going on although one could argue that more people are taking to the bush more people are getting out of the city

because there's less virus issues as in nature and it feels better there's more wind there's more air however I've got a report here of a woman being chased by Bigfoot in New York Park

now when I say that you're thinking Central Park in New York and I'm thinking of a concord's moment where I go A Central Park in New York whatever it was on the show I can't remember that I can't remember what I said

now but I fooled the guys I said A Central Park not the it's A in New York not New York New York I have trouble describing things

but anyway this is actually from Hyde Park in the Hudson Valley so according to the report which was received by Bigfoot researcher Gail Batey a woman

who wishes to remain anonymous was chased through the trees by a creature so this is very different the story because it's the first one I've ever heard of whereby we have a singing

a swinging a swinging Sasquatch from Tree to Tree so this is a basically the creature jumped up in the tree above her and branches and leaves started falling on her

and then the creature started to move from tree to tree and we're sure this isn't some kind of escaped ape or gorilla well that's one of the theories this is known about the encounter however it was considered sufficiently

interesting by local station News 12 Westchester to prompt a TV segment and I've got that here so let's play that yep I'm going to share my screen

okay that some claim is the loud ear aching sound of the creature known as Bigfoot this is one from Hyde Park Gail Batey the Hudson Valley's lead researcher of Bigfoot says a woman

she estimates it at between 6 and 7 feet tall told her she had a violent encounter with a mysterious creature on July 2nd in Hyde Park this creature came running towards her she heard that the bushes were parting

and she heard these heavy footsteps and then the creature jumped up in the tree above her branches and leaves started falling on her and then the creature started to move from tree to tree

she said it was terrifying Batey's team and others have submitted photos like this large footprints found in parts of the Hudson Valley large hairy figures in the distance and videos capturing this mysterious sound wow that is out of it

it's pretty cool so there's some people believe that this could have been an orangutan apparently what she saw was a brown but also reddish here but that's also that also fits into descriptions of Sasquatches

but the most unusual thing is the swinging because being a big creature and they're hugely strong they have long arms but they have never been reported before very rarely of them swinging through trees because that to me you'd have to have a slightly less weighty

undercarriage and body to be able to do that and that mysterious sound which I love that is a classic Sasquatch cry very loud very piercing so yeah it's intriguing I also think if it was

an escaped orangutan even if it was that I would love to know just how many escaped orangutans that are around the world or any kind of primate because it's like that's New York state just there's I just don't like the idea of an orangutan

in London roaming it's so that as bizarre as finding Bigfoot to me the idea that so I wonder if anyone's done a study on that has anyone reported a missing orangutan and is it no

not that I know of this is the problem would you even admit to losing an orangutan if you had one because inevitably you'd be having it illegally and if you were to go to the cops and say hey my orangutan just escaped they'd be like hang on you had an orangutan

let's come and have a chat with us well in America I think you can have these kind of exotic pets they're trying to change the rules so that you can't I don't know what the rules exactly are but we all watched Tiger King didn't we on Netflix and

you know I think rules definitely have changed with big cats we know about all the big cats that are out on the loose the alien big cats the ABCs that we see a lot of them in the UK sightings here and there there's actually too many of of great apes

being out on the loose and they tend to be captured easily or are not released at all but you know there was that story of the New Zealand great ape that became the hairy mohow that's right remember Buttons and that was that was

reportedly from a circus at the time wasn't it down your way in Thames yeah my dad saw the hairy man of mohow yeah your dad saw yeah yeah and it's in this place called the mohow ranges not far away from our home in Thames

our old family home and whilst driving late at night he saw this hairy figure running into the into the bush there's a real difference between the movement of a chimpanzee a great ape

like an orangutan and the very obvious bipedal humanoid movement of Sasquatch you know very different and so quite scary a scary encounter seeing something in the trees coming towards you to me that sounds like chimpanzee or orangutan

for sure but it could have been a baby one and there has been sightings of smaller Sasquatch in trees and you know they can use them that's so interesting I've never in all the time we've spoken about Bigfoot, Yeti, Sasquatch

I don't think we've ever spoken about toddler ones that could get my baby grow yeah I don't think we've ever yeah smaller ones cause of course you would have very different abilities as children do to adults we lose certain abilities

and how interesting should I bring my story? alright well the story I read this week this is a bit of a breaking news in the world of cryptozoology there's been a new

sighting in fact quite a few new sightings of the monkey man of New Delhi oh yeah so multiple news sources five cities in India have been covering this there's a mysterious creature

that's been appearing on rooftops at night in yards at night outside the front of houses not doing anything majorly sinister all this mysterious monkey man is doing is knocking on the doors and then running off

yeah it's pranking basically as far as I can tell at the moment it's knocking on windows it's knocking on doors and then fleeing and it happens after 9pm at night but the thing is in the past last few weeks it's been happening a lot multiple people are reporting it

and what they're seeing is when they're opening the door they're seeing something fleeing at speeds that they can't explain and jumping over fences that are far faster that if they were attempting to chase after them the so far could never manage to do this so they think

it might be this is the sort of thought is that it's the monkey man of New Delhi I had not heard of the monkey man in New Delhi before so monkey man in New Delhi appeared first in May of 2001 and

reports much like what we were just talking about in New York State there was a sort of very tall monkey like character that was running through now the thing is this is one of those cryptids where the details are so ridiculous about it

from all the reports that no one takes it seriously in any kind of way because the monkey man of New Delhi has been spotted with glowing red eyes covered in thick black hair but also he's seen to be wearing a metal helmet

with there we go with three buttons on his chest and really? yeah so anytime there's a drawing of it stop now man you got me

is that your costume you've been trying to sell people on the website? but then I knock on their door to sell them the costume and then I get scared and I'm just like ohhhh you're not a confident daughter to ourselves no no I'm just a bit worried but so apparently

this extra bit of detail is really odd the metal helmet and the three buttons because anytime someone is describing it to someone like a police artist to draw it that's the moment when they put the pencil down and go piss off because

a monkey with a metal helmet is that's the moment when you stop but apparently so many reports have been happening and this is reported by CNN that police have said they've run out of police cars to match the number of call-outs for the monkey man

yeah knocking on their doors so um and genuinely some people have died off the back of panicking and running away from what they thought was the monkey man in New Delhi so actually it's got a bit of a fatality attached to it

and the other side of it is kind of like Slenderman the story itself has erupted into something whereby people are now pretending to be the monkey man they're wearing masks

and they're going out and they're exactly it becomes a cultural thing so it's hard to tell at this point whether or not there's anything to be investigated or whether or not it's now become a cultural Halloween-ish kind of thing to do well when I think of the helmet

I think of an extra extraterrestrial level to it that if it is a creature from another world he may have a space helmet may have a helmet that he uses for whatever reason when he's left his ship and also the three buttons I mean they could be you know escape

emergency and party time I don't know what the buttons are but party time I didn't call you get away from my door party time? no

let's go let's go do you want some seeds? no get off I think it's very weird and you know this is one of the things

with the paranormal is that it starts with one sighting two sightings then gets into folklore people start to love the idea of it start to emulate it start to copy it start to want to be part of it start to you know

what happens across the field with ufology and cryptozoology to that point where you got the big foot hoaxes and things like that because we try to you know we want to be we want to be involved in it and it gets really dangerous because then it's the boy who

cried wolf isn't it or monkey man because you don't know what's real and what isn't and that is the hardest thing to tackle with with the naysayers in this whole field is because people say ah it's all bullshit because one or two elements of it have our bullshit

and um you know we're not encouraging those elements by the way we're encouraging the real elements of the bullshit we're encouraging we're encouraging the bullshit that's believable but isn't it weird because you get you're telling us there that you know there's been

fatalities and things and so you know there's real serious in this and people's families are affected so it's it's really quite scary too at this time and we're talking about a very guessing new deli very covert heavy situation

where people are just you know dropping like flies anyway and anyone knocking on your door in this day and age is quite frightening no matter where you are because you hear a knock and you think who's that why is someone knocking on my door it's 2020 you know shoot us a text

that I can ignore unless you've got some seeds in a bag mate I'm not coming so I've got to do a little plug here for this this book it's called Somewhere in the Skies Ryan Sprague do you have to do a plug for it because

he got it for free yeah he sent this to me and I haven't read it yet so it's not a review but if I was to review the cover awesome love it looks good so he's when we started doing our

UFO podcast I got a few the UFO guys interested in communicating with me and he seemed like a real nice guy this Ryan so he sent me that book so that's really weird because I was on that UFO show too and nobody's communicated

with me or sent me any free stuff at all sooo it's even weirder as I wasn't on that show yet I've received so many free things from listeners of your show

well there we have it and we're going to try and do this every week we're going to bring you the show in video and audio formats and we hope you are having an okay

2020 I know it's not a good one it's a pretty awful year but if we can do anything to bring a bit of comedy a bit of a smile to your face a bit of interest a bit of wow I didn't know that that's weird we'll try to keep it light

and yeah we're here for you and for us and for humanity and that's where that sentence ends we're here for you and we're here for us and humanity and humanity

and we're here for you we're here for you for us oh yeah and for literally every human these scenes are good guys you've got to get into them oh oh

oh oh oh oh