The Cryptid Factor - 46: #046 The Babygrow hat issue

Episode Date: September 6, 2020

Wow! One full earth month of weekly podcasting consistency - and to celebrate we have a big visual announcement! Plus: Zombie carwashes, stinky sea monsters, Croyden cat killer exclusives, Bigfoot horse braiding, Tiny marionette robot doctor swallowing, Buttons reveals his shed in a shed... oh, and Dan wears a baby grow as a hat. How much bizarreness can you handle? **NEW SEGMENT ALERT - 3-Way Vibus Update! The new segment where we check in on each others vibes... and the vibes in this inaugural update ends with heroin in the eyeballs.

The Cryptid Factor, with Rhys Darby and Dan Shriver. Well, put an old jumper on my head and give birth to me on the Friday the 13th. We're back! I have no idea where I was going with that. I had the Jersey Devil in my head, but I never got around to revealing that. This is our fourth week, guys! This is probably a record. I think I might have said that last week, but this is the new record. Four in a row. That's a whole month! It's an Earth month! If we just keep doing them every week, we're breaking our record every week. We could effectively apply for Guinness Book of World Records every week.

And we can keep having this exact same conversation every single week. I mean, we'll have no listeners, but we'll have records. It's worth it to get in the Guinness Book of Records. I might actually give them a call. Because they'll be like, what are you talking about? Well, we're a podcast. We've been going for years, but now we're doing it every week. And that's a new record for us. And each week we're breaking that record. So we're looking at getting into the latest copy of your book. Hello!

I mean, not since back in the heyday of 2008, when we were actually on the radio, forced to go out every week. And we did that for a number of months, of course, on three different stations. But since then, since there's been, like, what, 15 years or something since then, we are now the best we've ever been in terms of turning up. The content of the show is terrible. But we're turning up, guys. Big round of applause for us. Very good you specified that it's a Earth Month that we go by.

We are going by Earth Months, which I think is surprising. Previously, we went by Pluto Months, which explains the distance between releases. That's exactly where we got that wrong, didn't we? We do. We do one every Pluto Month. And then when Pluto disappeared or got knocked off the science list, we're like, oh, that's us fucked. And then it came back.

And we're like, hey, we can come back now. Now, I want to have a quick chat here at the top end for the listeners to describe to you out there, the fans, what we're wearing. And so I'm wearing my Cryptid Factor uniform with the white classic T and burgundy beret. He's not even joking. He is not even joking. Now, Buttons, of course, what's your situation? Hang on, there's a human head behind you.

Please explain that to the audio listeners. It's a young lady's head. What's happening there? No, I have a mannequin's head. Oh, God, that's creepy, isn't it? Who is she? I call her Barbara. That's my mum's name.

Exactly. It was the weirdest thing. There was this old rundown house that Michelle and I bought. As you do? As you do. And I had to sleep this first night there myself, and it was the creepiest place. It was like, it was genuinely pretty rundown. And later night, I'm going around with my torch because the power's not on yet.

And I opened up a cupboard that I'd never, I hadn't seen before. And there's about half a dozen of these heads, these mannequin heads, all just staring at me in my torchlight. It was off putting. X filing moment. Yeah, it was fantastic. Can we quickly address something that we just sort of mowed over? The fact that you have built in your shed, a shed,

your shed has a shed. You are in a Russian doll version of a shed right now. You're in the second layer down. Yeah. Why? Well, because we needed a little cryptic factor hut. So I thought, well, and if I had built it an outside one, I would have had to make it like weatherproof and everything.

Yeah. Well, you've done well. Thank you. More importantly, Dan. Dan, we need to discuss your look. For those at home not viewing this visually, Dan from where I'm sitting, I initially thought he was dressed as a New York City cop.

He's got this weird hat on. But now that I can see clearly, it's not. It's actually a baby grow that you've fashioned onto your head. It's got, please explain. Yeah. It's my little boy's baby grow with a big cryptic factor logo sitting in the middle. Right.

And he apparently is the size of my head. Wow. Because it fits perfectly. It's got the arms. The arms could be used as little wings. It looks like a little bat. So if anyone's watching this video, it's a... It looks like a little bat.

It looks like the Batman. It looks really cool. Yeah. It looks super cool. I think I might wear this out. Well, this is all great audio for the podcast. But what I wanted to round it up with, we are hinting and teasing you audio fans out there

that there is a visual content version of this show, which we will be uploading at some point on the... I believe it's called Patreon. That's correct. That's well done. You got it. Well done. You know, I hate it when I ask something,

but there's a real pause from both of you. Yeah, we both just had to check it in our turnal systems and just check it out. And go... It's Patreon, isn't it? Not Patreon. I mean, I'm... Yeah.

Patreon. Patreon. Patreon. What are the two? Well, but this is the thing. But isn't it funny? Because this show is now, what, 12 years old? We were the very first radio show about cryptozoology,

apart from maybe, you know... Yeah, I mean, obviously you've got Coast to Coast and things like that in America that, you know, do all paranormal activity, and that's over the actual radio earwaves. But yeah. And now it's only... We've been watching all these other podcasts

and they're all making all this. Oh, yeah. Monetizing. Monetizing it. Yeah, it's not even that we want to. I think it's just we feel left out by not doing it. And, you know, we're three geeks that have had our whole lives been taken advantage of.

And, you know, I, for one, I'm sick of it, you know? I don't get invited to parties. I give you all this free entertainment. You have a good laugh. And then you head off and go and hang out with your cool mates. Well, what am I doing? Oh, I'm just sitting here, reading the next, you know, Dungeons & Dragons book

till you can let me turn up again. That's not true. None of that's true. That's really true. It's a little bit. It's a little bit true. The cool thing though, right? Patrion, Patrion, what's going to be cool about this

is it's not just going to be the video of what we're doing. We're just going to start uploading, you know, I'm going to the world's first dinosaur park very soon. I'm going to make a video while I'm there because it's got an incredible history and all the dinosaurs look ridiculous. Wow. They got it completely wrong, but they're perfect.

It was the ultimate original cryptid example of dinosaurs when no one knew what they were. It was a new concept. The man who coined the word dinosaur was the person who helped design these dinosaurs. Wow. No one had any idea what they were. So it'll be packed with stuff like that.

I'm excited for it. We're going to create a channel. That's awesome. We get a channel. Yeah. All right. I'm bored of talking about that. No way.

Really? Bored about talking about money. Come on. But the other thing that we are looking to do is to start sending out little treaties. We want to send out treaties. What are you talking about? Treaties.

We want to send out little badges and stuff. Little treaties. Stop setting up your own little club where you can send out sweets to kids. I'm not being part of that. Just make sure it's a treaty and not treaties. We don't want to send formally concluding ratified agreements between states.

We don't want to get political. Buttons is accidentally sent out treaties. Are we going to be the first official podcast that bridges the gap between the United States and Russia through some sort of peace treaty? Only if they both listen to our podcast and pay for Patreon. That's the thing.

Our Patreon account wants to bring people together. Okay, cool. Let's talk more about that when it actually happens. It could be a couple of years away. In the meantime, we've got a new segment. We're going to kick things off with this one. It's called Three Way Vibus Update. What?

It's Three Way. It's Vibus. It's a whoop update. Three Way. So basically... That sounds really dodgy. We're in three different continents. I want to get an update on the virus,

but also the vibe. It's called the Vibus Update. Where you are, what's the vibe like in terms of how people are because of the current pandemic? It's pretty simple. It's a dodgy name. I'll give you that.

I was wondering. It sounded a little bit sexual. Now that you've explained it, I wish it kind of was. It sets you up, gets you excited, and then you realise, oh, no, it's actually not worth listening to. Anyway, so we'll quickly run through it.

What's New Zealand like right now? We've let the cat out of the bag again. Unfortunately, there's been a couple of virus cases. We went for about three months there with no virus. And it was weird because you sort of went straight back to normal life and it felt like you're in this kind of weird little world

separated from the rest of the world because we could just get around and hug people and go to restaurants and all that kind of stuff. Almost felt guilty, didn't we? Yeah, kind of felt guilty. What about London? How's that feeling? Terrible. London's perfect.

It's like post-apocalyptic. I actually went into Central London the other day and I got the London Underground, which felt like I was properly taking my life into my own hands. But there was no one on it. So I sort of acted all brave when I got out on the other side. And it's empty.

But yeah, we've all been pretty good at isolation. I saw a friend who's been particularly good at isolation. He, since it broke out, has not hugged a single person outside of his wife. But unfortunately, that same day, a friend of ours came to see us who had recently lost someone and he immediately gave him a hug.

And then he said, you're the first person I've hugged in four months. And the friend who lost someone said, well, you've hugged the wrong person because I've literally hugged about 600 people in the last week. Oh, God. You've just sucked in 600 hugs

off the back of your head. Yeah. And LA just briefly, you know, it's pretty much the same. So many cases. I think they're slowing down the numbers. But the only thing I would say here is people are sort of living this life

like it's the new normal now. So it's masks on, distancing, but people are going to restaurants. And when I say go to restaurants, it's all eating outside on tables that are distanced. And you can choose, you know, which restaurants you think are the safest.

And then you go there and the waiters have like big plastic face shields. No. Are you kidding me? No. Plastic face shields and masks. Like they wear in like literally a zombie apocalypse movie.

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, that's it. Because otherwise people aren't safe. So it really takes the fun out of socialising when people are walking around you with big face shields and stuff like that. Yeah. You know what, though?

This is where robots, we've been doing all this work. Boston Dynamics have got the dogs. You know, there's all of these upright walking robots now. Yeah. Robots don't sneeze. They don't breathe.

They don't carry viruses. Exactly. And surely this is where the robot companies should be getting these robots out to serve, you know, pastor at an Italian restaurant or whatever. You're right.

You're right. And also it does warrant the age of AI sort of transitioning. I can see now that, you know, the humanity because of this pandemic is slowly disappearing, you know. We now cover our faces. You can't even see our human expressions.

And we have people are wearing eye masks as well, like goggles and things like that because they're worried about spittlets coming in there. Come on. Yeah. People on planes in the States are wearing goggles as well as...

So you really can't even... No one looks even human anymore. Does that happen? Do you get a spittlet in your eye? Of course. You know, when somebody talks and, you know, you see the little spit projectile.

Yeah. Well, us three are lucky that we are so specky, you know, that we have glasses. Yeah. That's the best place to probably get a virus into. Like, if you were shooting, you know,

heroin or something, if you could go through your eyeballs, I imagine that's... that would get into your system way quicker. I think people do do that. Well, three-way Vibus update. Exactly.

You're up and through the eyeballs. And that's it for this week's three-way Vibus update. That's right. We ended with heroin injected into the eyeball. I'm so excited that the dreaded robot uprising is going to begin

with robot-serving pasta in Italian restaurant. It's not what the movies told us would happen. That's how it all starts, man. Yeah. We didn't see it coming that way. Then that's how they're going to do it. That's how the robots are going to do it.

They're thinking right now, going, how will they never notice? Would you like some pasta, sir? Oh, yes, please. Thank you very much. I noticed you don't have a face shield on. That's because I'm a robot. Oh, I'm not fair enough.

Fair enough. Hey, you look very human. Talking about robots. Let's move on to this week's weekly world weird. How we do that again? Talking about robots, I've got a bit of an update.

So it's tight. Oh, no. I'm not doing this again because last time I did three edits and you've kept them all in the show. I kept them all in the show. I edited myself. And I said, you know,

I did three takes of something and you put all three of them in the show. That was pretty funny that way. Yeah, it was funny. It was good. Once I got through my furious anger. That sessions of therapy. Okay, let's do it.

Let's do everyone's favorite segment. Weekly world weird news. Crazy. Freaky, watch out. Okay. Should we build out some headlines? Yes. Shall I go first?

Yeah. The Croydon cat killer has struck again. Oh, no. This week's show is really starting out as a bit of a downer, isn't it? People dying mess virus to the cat killer. I imagined it was a bloke dressed up as a cat just killing people.

What's darker for the cryptic factor? Exactly. A man killing cats or a man dressed as a cat killing people. Oh, my God. Boy, you're under arrest. Hi. Hi.

Come with me. Hi. Look, Mike, we know you're dressed as a cat. You're not a cat, Mike. Hi. So cute. We can't arrest this pussy cat. Look.

Oh, so just scratch him under his chin. Give him a little scratch under his chin. Oh, no. Where you go, Mike? Where you go? Oh, cute little cat. All right, come on. What's yours, Leah?

Buttons. What's yours, Buttons? Oh, my one. Yeah, that's right. I've got one. Well, on the back of a three-way Vibus update, the pandemic has started

a whole new cottage industry of zombie horror shows to help people unwind from the stresses of the COVID pandemic. Oh, really? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah.

That sounds counterintuitive to me. It does. Same. Same. Okay. Well, also in the robot world, check this out. Scientists create an army

of tiny walking robots. Oh. Cool. That's going to help us out. But first, let's get to this killer cat. Yeah, I can't wait to hear about Mike. Okay. So, for the last few years,

there were cats that are being found, decapitated, and this has been happening all over the UK, but it started in Croydon where this was noticed. And it's a weird thing because a lot of people will say

that if it was a fox that was doing it, in which most people believe it is, Fox is doing it, Fox's don't have jaws that are strong enough to decapitate a cat's head off its body. No, true. The Croydon,

cat killer is someone who is supposedly doing this. He's doing it to scare people, to make enemies, get revenge on enemies. So this has been going on for a long time. We have no idea who it is if it is a person, but there have been investigators

investigating this for years on end, and you constantly see news stories in the UK. Croydon cat killer strikes again. So there has been a new Croydon cat killer case that has just happened, but you won't read about it in the news yet because it only happened a couple of days ago and it happened in the garden of my neighbors,

whose house I'm looking at right now. What? I can see the garden where this happened. Yeah, so, Holy. Fresh case. Wow. The investigators came round,

who've been following this story this whole time. They've concluded that it is in fact the Croydon cat killer. Oh my God. I actually, before we recorded tonight's show, I went over to my neighbors to get the full story, so I've interviewed them for it, and I haven't interviewed on me if we'd like to hear it quickly.

Oh, this is outstanding. Oh my God, you've gone into the field. This is journalism. This is live journalism here at the Cryptid Factor. We're going to get another Guinness Book of Record for this. Oh, wow. So what you're about to hear are the voices of Kate and JP, who are my neighbors,

and Hugh, who they reference is their son. So here we go, and again, trigger warning, apologies to anyone who finds this disturbing. So Hugh and I were playing football, and I looked over to get the ball, and in the bottom of the garden, I thought,

oh, there's a cat asleep. And then I looked further and thought, hmm, too many flies to be a sleeping cat. So then I went to get John, because obviously there's no way that I could touch the cat. And then I was looking at a dead cat without a head, and I Googled it and turned out that the official guidance is to contact a local vet.

But in the meantime, Kate was advertising it on Facebook and descended on very, very swiftly by an organization called SNAL. So I posted it on the group for our area and also the WhatsApp group for our road. There's a WhatsApp group for our road? Yeah, you're not invited. Are you on it?

That's the first two rules. Don't tell Dan Shriver about the WhatsApp group for our road. And you don't tell Dan Shriver about the WhatsApp group for our road. I'm guessing they're talking about you a lot on this Facebook group. That weirdo that lives down there, he wears baby groves on his head. Just broken the two most important rules. Basically, two people turned up at about 11 o'clock.

So it was a woman who was wearing a t-shirt about four sizes too big, which said, I'm a crazy cat lady. You're kidding. What? I mean, that's literally what it said. So they came in, I offered them a teen copy. They seemed very surprised that I would offer them that,

but they did. Because it was pandemic-esque that I had to get them to sit outside. So they sat outside in the chairs. Then they said, OK, so examine the body. And I said, have you heard of the Croydon cat killer? And I was like, oh, here we go. So they said, oh, we think it's this, but we're going to have to get the boss involved.

So that was about 11 that they came. That's totally. Then maybe about one o'clock, Tony turns up. So Tony turns up, comes into the back garden, but then for maybe an hour, they don't do anything. They're just sitting chatting. They're just having like a conference in our garden. Yeah.

Which was really... Yeah, yeah. And the cat is just... The cat's just still in the corner. The cat's fine. You know, he's not bothered. But I have heard. There's an initial examination to see if there's no head.

Yeah. Fairly quick examination though. Very, very quick examination. Is there a head? No, there's not. By about three o'clock, then they come in and say, actually, I think we're going to get a journalist involved. You're right.

So at this point, I'm still thinking, oh, God, there's so many people in the garden. It's not a big garden. And there's already three people in the garden. Then half an hour later, a journalist turns over the door. It's amazing just like the madness of the times that we're in, but you're more worried about three people. Yes.

It's a pretty capitated cat that may have been murdered by a serial killer. It was weird how they got here at 11 o'clock, and they left at 4 p.m. It took them five hours to decide that someone had scaled our wall to decapitate a cat that didn't belong to us. They decided that as soon as they arrived.

Yeah, but they stayed for the tea. They stayed for the tea and coffee, which I was serving them. God, it's hardly Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson, is it? Have they been following the case? Have they been on top of other... Yeah, so basically, Tony said, look, I get that you would just apply logic and common sense to this, which is, you know, you're prerogative,

but trust me, there's this shadowy guy out there, and sometimes he comes back and he puts the head and tail back. And sometimes he presents it on... He presents the cat on a table in people's gardens just to hurt people's feelings and stuff like that. Do you know the maddest thing of all, this whole story, is that there's a goddamn WhatsApp group for us three, and I'm not on it or haven't even heard of it?

This is unbelievable. That's the biggest mystery. What's going on in this secret WhatsApp group that neither my wife or I have invited to do? No wonder whether or not you're the Croydon Kent killer. I know. I'll tell you what. I did, when I walked out of the house that day, a few days ago when it happened,

the journalist and the investigator were standing outside, and they were asking about the house that was immediately next door to us, and they said, do you know who lives there? And I said, oh, at number... And I got the number wrong of the house. For some reason, I just said the wrong number. The investigator looked at me like, hmm, you don't know the numbers on your own street.

You don't know the numbers of your... And I felt this like, I didn't know who they were at the time, and I know that I was immediately put onto the suspect list as far as they're concerned. Oh, my God. That is amazing. So anyway, isn't it just wonderful to know that, you know, when you think of Mulder and Scully, and you think of all these like little pockets of people

investigating certain things on our behalf that out there, there is a group of people that will sit in a kitchen for five hours who are mulling over a mystery of cat decapitations throughout the UK. There's to be a documentary following those guys. We need to get a crew out. That is hilarious. It's like Sherlock Holmes, the office version, you know. There's a case out there for everybody.

There's, you know, there's someone on the case. And, you know, the reality of this thing is it's very horrific. And as a cat lover myself, you know, it's hard for me to stomach, but I understand that this is happening. I really hope this guy gets caught. And I really want an update on this because it's so bizarre. Yeah, just bizarre to be so close to Urban Legend as well. You know, happening next door.

It's, it's mad. And also, most importantly, it's a cryptid factor exclusive. Exactly. The Guinness World Records are going to explode. That's our first ever cryptid factor exclusive. I'm so, I'm so proud of you, Dan. So thank you. I'm sorry.

It's a horrific story because there are a lot of cats that are dying, but they're dying as part of, you know, I'm on the side of it's a fox. It's it's nature. And unfortunately that stuff happens, but some people are making a connection that it could be an elusive slender man type character out there. And the internet is jumping on board with it. Tell me with those guys, did they seem, I don't mean to be nasty or anything, but did they seem normal, the investigator guys,

or did they seem a little bit kooky? We all see ourselves as detectives. We want to know what's going on. Why are we here? What's going on? And anything that comes up that's a mystery, we naturally tap into a bit of our brain that goes, I'm going to solve this.

It's just, it's natural to us to do that. And and if you find your niche and you find the way that you can explore that on your own, then great, someone's got it covered. How wonderful is that? We're all taking little pockets of detective work. We're all PIs. Yeah. And cryptid factor is that we're adding to the discussion of mystery.

Yeah. I mean, you know, we're not going to be finished on this planet till every mystery is solved. And unfortunately, most of them never will be, but we've got to keep trying. And then, you know, when we pass through to the other side, maybe someone will be there and they'll say, oh, you didn't do too badly. You, you picked up on that cat thing. But you're way off track with the Loch Ness monster.

You guys. Oh, my God. Imagine that the debrief. Yeah. The post life debrief. Yeah. So can we go back and we have another go? No.

Unfortunately, you didn't do well. But we had a podcast for like 20 years. Yes. But you didn't solve much with it, did you? Because it was mainly joking around. I mean, what was with the outfits? One bloke had a baby grow on his head for one of the episodes. I mean, come on.

All right. I tell you what, I'm sending Derby back. He can have another, another whack at it. Oh, thank you, sir. Thank you, sir. Well, you go. Woo. Woo.

Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. That's me being reborn. Now to the microphone. That's a weird first words, honey, for our son.

He said he's back. Apparently he's got a successful podcast. He should really monetise this. It's been off for a while. About one Pluto. All right. Well, that was, that was, that was revolting and interesting and bizarre. Well done. Yeah. People who love cats. Yeah, but it's a bit of a turnoff. But

speaking of turnoffs, what have you got Leon? Oh man, have I got something to turn you off. Okay, so COVID-19 has obviously been a big challenge for a lot of businesses and one of the ones that have had the most challenges, theaters and you know, theater shows you can't go to a theater in most countries because obviously people can't all sit there in the theater together. But there have been some very clever and innovative companies that have sort to overcome that. And one of them is a Japanese production company called the Scare Squad. And so what they've been doing is that they've been organizing COVID safe scare shows if you like or horror shows that you can go to and have these sort of interactive experiences to be able to scare yourself silly. Now, the way

they look at it is that they see this as like a therapy for COVID and for the thing. And I'm not entirely sure how this, how that actually works given that they... It's like healing a wound by giving you another wound. Very much, very much like that. Or I guess another anomaly, no, analogy would be, you know, when they pull a bullet out of you or something and they get you to bite on something and so you've got to concentrate on something else. It's kind of like that. I think is what they think, screaming is therapy, right? Screaming, getting something off your chest by just going, ah, is a massive thing in Iceland right now. I learned about this the other day. There's a website where you can scream into a thing and they blast it over speakers. There are

seven speakers placed all over Iceland at the moment. And this is done specifically for COVID-19 to get stress off for you. So it must be the same thing. It must be by being scared and screaming. You're like, oh, good. I've released all that pent up tension and anxiety. Well, I also, that's interesting. I know now that if Rosie gets really angry with me and she books two tickets to Iceland, I know she's going to really scream at me through seven speakers on a continent. So I've got to get ready. Race! Do the dishes! Well, that does make sense. And, you know, that probably is what they're gutting at because they say here that you can unwind from the stresses of the pandemic with a zombie horriso where you are literally locked into a coffin.

I know. You're in a perspex covered coffin and then these zombies, they then come up and they, you know, poking them with fake hands, you know, sawing off hands and squirting with them with water that says here, which kind of, I don't know how that works when they're inside a box. It might be an open casket. Yes. Well, no, that wouldn't, that wouldn't be very safe though, would it? What do you mean? When I die, I don't want to be in an open casket. It's not very safe, or you're dead. But you'll have one with a perspex lid. Yeah. Oh, wow. So it says they say here, the pandemic is stressful and we hope we can get a bit of relief by having a good screen. The group are trying this 15 minute show by basically putting people in COVID safe coffins

and having these actors scare the living daylights out of them. Now this same scare squad, they've got another little side hustle going on as well, which I think this is genius, is a drive through horror show. Oh yeah, I've heard about this. That's even safer. That's way safer. Because you're in your car. Yeah. Yeah. But I kind of worry, I kind of tried to figure out how this would work because if you drive in and you have to drive through like a little, because that's what I imagine would be amazing if you have to drive down a little street with people jumping out at you. Yeah. Once to stop, you're not flooring it and just running somebody over. Could turn into a proper horror show. So what is it? What are you actually experiencing?

Presumably it's not like a proper drive through. Well, it is. Apparently they take 14 cars at time and they all take the turn at passing through a scary tunnel. Right. And they say that you go through there, there's blood curdling screams, chainsaw wielding zombies, and there's all manner of stuff jumping out at you through this tunnel. Well, I concur with your worry that if you got scared, you put your foot on the throttle suddenly and next thing you know, you're killing one of the actors. Yeah. That's interesting because I imagined it would be more like a car wash where you drive up, you put it into neutral, you put your handbrake on and then the machine takes you through. There you go. Oh, yeah. But the spinny things are like knives or,

you know, those circular swords. Yes, exactly. Now we're developing something. This is another cryptid factor idea that people are going to monetize. Ah, damn it. The horror car wash. Yeah, girl, that's exciting. But you come out and it's just bloody to your door. It's covered in blood at the end. Well, and I'll take it a step further. We could even do a cryptid one. So you come through and then you're being attacked by giant spiders. There's like a yeti that hangs down and the feet like just kick the windscreen of the car and then like sort of blood comes down and you hear these blood curdling Sasquatch screams and then maybe a lizard man's hand comes up to the side of the windscreen and just starts grabbing

you and starts pulling on the window wipers, you know, that could be quite cool. Love it. That's awesome. And then in the background you hear, don't forget to tune in to the cryptid factor. Guinness World Record setting podcast. Bought to you by Baby Grow Hats. Don't let your head grow like a baby. Yeah, you know, I kind of like the idea of a drive through horror show being that you still have to stop and order what horrors you want at the front with some king. Yeah, could we get the three zombie attacks and a what do you want again? Sweetie, what do you want? Well, yeah, she wants a Frankenstein hand to break through the windshield.

That'd be cool. Chain saw axe wielding murderer. Now you can only have the chains. We're out of axes, so you can only have the chainsaw. No, I can't forget about it. I only have my chainsaw motors with an axe. Actually, sorry. The family in front of you actually hooned it out of here and killed one of the actors. So we're going to have to remove one of the zombies from your order. I knew this was going to happen. I told you. We should have gone to the cryptid factor car wash. They never run out of zombies. Nobody's ever scared in there. So lame. By the way, this is just another example of how the movies have lied to us about post-apocalyptic

futures. We've got robots serving pasta in Italian restaurants. We've got zombies. Zombies doing immersive theater now. Yeah, this is not how I thought it would play out. Tough times, man. Tough times. Well, you know, the other thing is that there is the opportunity in your neighborhood, if on your street you wanted to set up a car wash, then you could have the quoting cat killer horror show. Why would you even bring that out? The tumblers are just like cat tails that come and wash your cars. Oh, so that's what he's been doing with them. I'm a cat fan. I can't deal with these decapitated cute heads. Come on, let's move on. I've got some positive news here, which it does sound weird and freaky, but actually

is positives. And that's about these tiny, tiny robots that scientists are making, which can be injected inside you. And they walk along and they fix your diseases. So that's kind of where we're at. They walk along. Yeah. I love this. So the objects are the first microscopic robots that are made out of semiconductor components that allows them to be controlled and forced to walk with standard. That's forced to walk, by the way. It's not not asked. So they're obviously slave robots, but they're forced to walk with standard electronic signals, allowing them to be integrated into more traditional circuits. The researchers behind the discovery now hope that they can be built into even more complex versions

that could allow for future robots to be able to be controlled by computer chips, produced on mass and built in such a way that they could travel through human tissue and blood acting like surgeons. We've seen this before. This is science fiction, leading science fact though, isn't it? Because there's so many movies. What's the one where they shrunk down that? Honey, I shrunk the kids. No, no. They inject the journey through the body or journey. What is it called? No, it wasn't called that. It was in the earth or in something, isn't it? Yes, in a space, is it? In a space. Yes, exactly. That was exactly what this is. And this is the thing about science fiction. It actually surely is responsible for encouraging or at least inspiring

technicians and futurists to actually go, you know what? We can do that. I mean, there's so many good examples. I think it's amazing with the nanotechnology, how small they're getting now. And this article is from The Independent. This has been all over the world on big publications. These tiny, tiny robots will be injected through hypodermic needles. And then they can be told to walk along and they walk on in such a weird little tiny way. You guys see this? Yeah, really quite weird. That's it there. See, that's actually, that's some moving along. Wow. Come on, how small is this? I know, I know. Is there a matchstick you can put next to it? No, but the scientists behind the study claimed that the robots are the first to be created

that are smaller than 0.1 millimeters. Oh my God. So that, yeah, it's like the width of a human here. Oh, that's crazy. And it can be controlled. Yeah. Like it's literally radio-controlled. Yeah. And so they can then just send them down and to fix, you know, that's still a fair distance in the future than being able to fix things that make them autonomous. At the moment, it says as such, they are more like marionettes at the moment rather than fully autonomous robots. They're marionettes. Marionettes are by strings. Yeah, they've got just... How do they got strings inside you pulling them along? That's not a robot. Some of the, some of the words they use here are just not accurate with our imaginations.

It's like, it's like thunderbirds. We've just got this. Yeah. Hey, don't go down that way. No, you're heading towards the groin. I need you to get to the brain area. Oh, hey, robot. Oh, God, there's a whole army of them down there now. Who's in charge of you guys? Oh, he's can't even speak. That's not, that's not language. What's he doing? Yeah. Get the rest of you to come up the other way and go through the veins. You need to get up to the brain and figure out what's happening with this guy. All right, here they come. Here they come. What's going on in my body? It is so bizarre, but then what if someone injects a whole bunch of robots to fight those

robots and there's like these tiny robot wars going on inside your brain or in your veins? I have a two year old and a four month old and when they're, you know, 15 and 17, I can imagine a point where we've sort of turned this into gaming territory and it would be like, okay, dad, swallow these two robots and they're going to race them through my body. You know, first, first to get out of dad's bum hole will be the winner of the race, you know. They'll be sitting there outside the toilet door going, which one came out first day? Which one came out? Oh, one again. But they slowly grow as they're inside you. So you've got a, you've got limited time to eject them out the other end before they become quite massive. Before dad explodes.

Well, you know, the other thing this will be good for is, you know, those medical TV shows where they're like, you know, they show them, you know, surgery, you know, reconstructing stuff and all that. Just imagine when they get them, they have little cameras on them and they're going inside the veins and you're literally watching the surgery from the inside where there's little robots doing a little surgery on the inside of reconstructing something. That's what they're, that's what they're hoping to get, get to. And it's called swallow your surgeon. And basically what it means is that that's what they're calling it. And no. Yeah, that's what that's in the article for that. And that's what it says. And it's where the little robots go in and they, you know, it puts

doctors out of a job in terms of the fact that they, you know, they don't hesitate because you when you think about the hands-on stuff with tools, it's, it's quite archaic, you know, that ripping the, ripping the body apart, going in. Could it not be a better name than swallow your surgeon? Could they not come up with a better term than swallow your surgeon? That's what they voted for. They had a bit of a meeting. And it's sort of, I don't know. I like it. I like it. It sounds, it sounds like the same team that came up with the threesome Vibus. You mean three-way Vibus update? From the people that brought you three-way Vibus update brings you swallow your surgeon.

Look, until you come up with your own segment, you can't mock my new segments. All right. Well, let's move on to some, some cryptozoology, eh? That is brilliant. That is brilliant. Attention, all personnel, it's time for this week's cryptid Help me. I got a new story here. Horses in America are having their hair braided by Bigfoot. What? How does that work? That's the headline there. We've never done headlines for the cryptid buzz. Oh, sorry, of course. Of course. Yeah, yeah. Oh, he's trying to make his own segment out of the segment. You can't reuse a segment to make your own segment. What are you calling this one?

This is a shed in a shed. I'm doing a segment in a segment. So, yeah, this is, this is a story that popped up on a site that all three of us tend to visit, Mysterious Universe, and it was written by a guy called Paul Seaburn. So, he himself, Paul, has been going around the internet and he's found that in Nebraska, a owner of a museum, a Bigfoot Crossroads of America Museum, has said that she believes that Bigfoot activity being spotted via the way that horses are having their hair braided in really odd manners. So braiding is in, like, if you can imagine little girls sitting and braiding their hair. Yeah, as you would with a human here, yeah. Exactly. Horses in Nebraska have had their

hair braided in a slightly odd manner that suggests the use of human hands. And she believes, without, I would argue, too much evidence that Bigfoot is responsible for it. Yeah, so. That's really interesting, though, and I can actually imagine it. And so these are obviously wild horses here, or are they horses that, no, they're horses that have owners? Is that right? Yeah, I believe so, yeah. Wow. Yeah. She's, she's tied it in with this other thing where they've noticed there's been a lot of shredding of American flags. And one flag in particular, she's convinced was braided, so sort of shredded and braided by Bigfoot as well. And she's actually got one of these flags, which is going on display in her museum. So this is how much she believes

that this is the, the work of Bigfoot. So yeah, so she thinks much like talking about the immersive zombie theaters and the, the car washes that Bigfoot does it to let off steam as well. Right. Interesting. Wow. I like, I like the idea of them sort of just plating, plating the main of a horse in the afternoon, you know, in all the stories, you don't usually hear the sort of downtime, the, the, you know, the spa like treatments that Bigfoot might engage in. And this is quite nice, quite nice that they would sort of, I'm thinking really giant foot spas. I mean, you know, that'd have to be, there's got to be a market for them now. She should put that out on her website. Well, I tell you what, here's something that we, we didn't bring up

in any of our previous shows this month, but it has in fact happened this month and it's a mysterious fur covered sea monster which has washed up on the beach in Britain. And there's some belief it could be an ancient creature. Now I chose to get, there's many articles on this. I went for the Fox News one because it was the latest because I, when you get to different articles and then you get the next one the week after and the week after, you know, normally updates come and more is revealed. So it's kind of worth doing that. Sometimes it's not worth just getting the first article that's come out on that because, you know, developments do occur. Let me just screen share this with you guys. Look at that. That is out of it. It's huge. Yeah. So is it the remains of a woolly mammoth or

a decaying whale? Those were the questions on Beechgoa's minds as they gathered around a giant hairy sea creature that was beached in Siberia. Wow. Hang on. This isn't the one I thought it was. I thought it was Britain. I've been looking at so many of these articles this morning. Anyway, I'll carry on. This could be quite old. What's the date on this? Oh yeah, this is, this is 2018. Oh, hang on. It's not the one I wanted. Hang on. I'm just gonna, I'm gonna go back to where it was. Yeah, this is, this is this. Let's have a look at this one. Now this, this happens quite often, not me screwing up, but you know, things arriving up on the beach. Now this is the latest one here. This is from the sun. Okay. So you know it's the real deal.

August 3rd, 15 foot smelly creature. And let's have a look at this video here. Heavily decomposed animal discovered wreaking and covered in flies in Ainsdale Beach, Merseyside on Wednesday. So the weird thing about it is if you have a look at this photo here, you can see it's got a few things going on. It looks like there's legs, hooves, a head of some description. It's a real monstrosity. It had no identifiable head, but is furry with flippers and stumped experts have suggested it could be a species of whale? It looks like it would stink. It looks like it would smell so gross. It had four flippers, which made it look most weird. And it was furry 15 feet long and really stunk.

Now when it comes to the stinking things, and this is one of the theories that it's, you know, well, no, I think it's something that an ale, an ale, a whale has thrown up. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Well, it is interesting because furry with four flippers, that doesn't describe any animal that I've ever heard of. No. So it's like it has to be, like if it has those features, if they definitely identified flippers and here, then it has to be something that we don't know about, right? It has to be a cryptid. Some people think it's a cow or a horse. Cow or horse? Yeah. And there's even a theory here that it was a woolly mammoth or a crash-landed alien. It almost looks like an elephant too.

This is just quotes from the, from the article. What's that bit there? Can I just say, I did really enjoy Buttons, you just now looking at it and going, looking at a rotting carcass going, oh, I bet that's stunk. And then when Rhys read out the quotes, they get stunk too. You go, yep, I was right. Like, yeah. Of course you're going to be right there. Talk about detectives. I mean, that's probably the smartest guy I've ever met. Well, I tell you what, I'm just observational guys and I put myself there in the, you know, in the situation. And I wonder what would it be like? These things that end up on the, on the beach now and again, you know, it's quite, quite a common occurrence. It's almost worth trawling

your beaches from time to time to find something like that because they're quite mind-blowing. And the fact that it stinks, I feel like it's definitely, you know, it's, it's been vomited out of a massive whale and, but what is it eaten? You know, because they, they don't, they don't eat anything but krill. So that makes no sense to me at all. I take, I take back everything I said there. It's not going to suddenly eat a giant alien horse, is it? Well, I would be surprised. And that's what I'm saying. It's like, it's something, can't eat something that big. So it has to be the carcass. It has to be in the animal. So, and if it has flippers in here, I tell you, well, no DNA stuff's been taken on it, but that's what we need

really. I mean, I know the scientists, they know that either locked down or can't be bothered to making, too busy making tiny robots. I think that's, I think that's, I think they're scared. Scientists are scared of the truth, aren't they? Because once they realize there's more to life than what they're stating, they're sort of out of a job, aren't they? I don't know. I'm thinking more of a job. They discover the new thing, there's more. Scientists, you're all fired. There's more going on and we can't understand it. So we're going to get rid of all of you. Okay. You've given it a good bash. But honestly, you're not going to be able to deal with this. This is like a

woolly mammoth horse sea creature that's been washed up. So it's been nice working with you. He didn't even know it was stinky, like buttons there. Not one of you suggested that it might stink. Come on. And buttons, would you like a job now? Oh, you're just bling. Can you just get these tiny robots out of my van? That's what's going to make me a better scientist, you know? Yeah. Swallow your scientist. That's the next one, isn't it? Well, my piece of crypto zoology news is very, very brief and simple, but it's very exciting that there has been yet another Mothman sighting in Chicago. Oh, great. And it now makes something

like the 53rd sighting of Mothman since he started popping up in 2017. So this wasn't during a horror car wash or anything like that? On his way to the Cryptid. The Cryptid drive-thru. That's part of the drive-thru, isn't it? As you're driving up to it, you get a sighting, a free sighting. You've heard of Mothman. Now stay tuned for Wash Man. He's going to bubble his way up. And he'll also wash your car, which is great. So he'll be scary at the start. And this is another service we should add to the Cryptid Factor Horror Car Wash. Is that you? Yes, it's horrific and a bit scary, but you do get your car washed by a dude dressed as Mothman. It's actually scary how unbelievably successful that would be.

I think it would be. You actually go through, you get horrid. And then at the back end, Yeti is there. Oh, my wife's calling. Oh, no. Oh, here we go. What's this? Does she want to scream at you? It's Iceland. Hello. We're still on. Oh, she's laughing at me because I've got my beret on. We're still, we're still on air. What do you want? Oh, sorry, I forgot about it. I'll be, um, I'll just wind things up with these bloody guys. They're wasting my time here. Another five minutes and I'll... Have you been recording for hours? There's not that much to talk about. Yeah. Well, don't give, don't let the cat out of the bag. Um, if you do, it'll be headless. Uh, we do record for three or four hours to make a good half hour, half hour of stuff that actually

makes sense. People don't understand how much work goes into the editing on these things. We should put out another podcast with the stuff that wasn't in the podcast and it's probably really normal and sensible. What on earth is Dan wearing? He's wearing a baby grow on his head. A cryptid factor baby grow. We've all gone completely bonkers. I'll be back to your important work. Okay, I'll, I'll speak to you soon. Bye. Uh, okay. Well, that's what, what a great point to, um, to end the show on. Yes. Very, very exciting point to end on. What was the point? I can't remember.

What did we end on? The point was I've got to go. Oh, yeah.