The Cryptid Factor - 49: #049 The 7 Issue

Episode Date: October 6, 2020

In an exciting run of 7 episodes in a row, Rhys is enjoying living life as a 7 year old in a Lockdown hotel/prison. We celebrate our 7th patreoner and get excited about the 7th Nessie sighting this year, whilst Dan and Buttons argue over whose news of 7 musical notes is the longest (and enjoy testing the patience of Rhys in the process). All these fun 7's and more... so get amongst it!

The Cryptid Factor, with Rhys Darby and Dan Shriver. Well, well, well, if it isn't us back again for some more hilarity and informative chat. You sound so surprised. Well, well, well, if we didn't organize this Zoom call three days ago. What a surprise to see you. Is it six or seven? I can't remember. That's why I questioned, but I think we were questioning last week.

I think we're going to, every week, we're going to question. I just can't when people be like, oh, here we go. Just fast forward to the pit where they actually start talking about something other than how many episodes I've done. My parents stopped listening after this. This is for the Shriver parents. Are they going to figure it out? Who knows? Who's got it this time?

I think it's always Dan. Oh, Dan's always right. It's seven. It's got to be seven. He's cheating, though. I think I think he's got a post-it note there with the number seven. He looks it up first. Yeah.

That's why this is his favorite part. Me and Fadella, we train. We do like studies just before. She's like, what number is it? Six? No, you idiot. Seven. You've got to get on the top of it, man.

It's got to start in a minute. Goddamn it, man. Your parents are listening. Don't let them down. She's probably more true for me or Reese. Your Fadella is very lovely. She would be more encouraging. She'd be like, you can do it, buddy.

You can do it. What number is it? What number is it? What comes after six? Well, you know, those guys, they've all got baby brains, haven't they? And his household have got an excuse. Leon and I don't have an excuse for being stupid. Or do I?

Because I've got some news, obviously, for the listeners. I am now currently in New Zealand. So I've made the jump. Welcome home. You made it back. I'm back. I had to go through many COVID restrictions to get back into New Zealand. So I'm now currently in a two-week isolated hotel situation.

I flew into Auckland. And then before we got off the plane, a military commander came onto the plane and she said, yeah, I believe she was a major in her full camouflage gear. Is this in America? No, in New Zealand. Do we have them still? How do you?

And she came on the plane and she said, all right, everyone, you're heading to Christchurch. We couldn't even get off the plane. So there was those that were like only those that were on like a transferring flight to somewhere anyway were allowed to transfer. And even they were, you know, taken out individually and, you know, hosed down type thing. But we flew to Christchurch on a different plane.

And I'm here at a hotel next to an airport, the airport Novitel. Being looked after, I get three meals a day. They just knock on the door and I open the door and then there's a bag of food. It's a lucky dip. There is a menu, but I've said, look, I'll eat anything while I'm here. It'll be fun to see what I get. And I've got to be honest with you. I quite like prison life.

It's easy. You know, you don't have to make too many choices. No one talks to you. That's perfect. I've done a lot of reading. Imagine if Rhys goes to actual jail one day. You'd be like, oh, I've done this before. When you get to the cell.

Well, hopefully this is the closest I ever get. Lucky dip, dinner, coming around. But not only that, they put in little sheets of paper with the food sometimes with like word finds and a maze in there. Yeah, things to do. They do. No, they don't. They don't.

That's so cute. Do they think that you're like an unmonitored minor or something? I think there's a seven year old in there all by themselves giving you coloring in books. I think Rosie may have said something to them. Because today I got a model kit turn up at the door with complete with paints and everything. So I've got hobbies that I'm allowed to do. Yes, I had.

And so yesterday a delivery of probably over 25 packets of chips and lollies. What I like. Hang on. Are you getting the star treatment? Everybody else around you is getting peanut butter sandwiches. Or are you accepting the Amazon Prime orders? You know what I might be. Yeah, there's someone right now leaving reviews on Amazon going I ordered this model kit

paint set five days ago. There is an unmonitored seven year old next door going just crying with no chips, no model making cat and his dabs next door going having the time of my life. Look at this. Look, I'm just assuming that these are things from my fans. And by the way, if you are listening folks, I am room 220 at the Novotel hotel. I will accept anything fun. No stick mags please.

No, because they might accidentally go to the seven year old next door. I don't want the mix up that's happened so far reversing. And if somebody could please send a spitfire because you've already got the foker. You've got the mischism and then moving on to tanks. If you could organize yourself fans and all fans starting with the letters A, B and C, if they could send model tanks of all the fans starting with D, E and N. Stop it because because for the time this goes out, I'll actually be released. I don't want packages upon packages arriving at this hotel for whoever ends up staying

in this room isolating once I'm gone. I can't believe they took you to Christchurch. Everyone on the plane must have been like, what? It was a shock to a lot of people because, you know, most people obviously, well, all of them except those in transit, we're hoping to go to Auckland, which was the destination of the plane that was going to Auckland. It's the way he says things. Emotionally, that's how it works for most people.

He's got a way with words. It's not the right way, but it's a way. So anyway, how about you two? What's your sitios? Well, my latest news is that I have become very excitingly a member of a Patreon page called The Cryptid Factory. Oh, wow! Yay!

Button's kept telling us that he was going to be uploading videos and he had all this exciting stuff, but he hadn't given you and me the login. No! So the only way I thought I could see it was to actually become a Patreon of my own show. And, um, yeah. So I'm now losing money on this thing. Oh, that is hilarious. Well, this is why I'm not joining.

I'm not going to be putting money into this venture. I know what it's like. Guys, this is, if you want to be, like, if you want to be a part of it, you can just, you can join in. It's that easy. You're expecting us to pay to watch the Patreons? Yeah! Sure, you create the show, but you don't have to get automatic entry to all the fun stuff,

do you? It's like working at the Disneyland and expecting to go on all the rides for free. Well, they do. Do they? Well, that's it. What do you not know about organisations? When you work for them, you do get to enjoy the stuff for free. Well, you might get a discount.

I'll give you a discount rather than $5 a month. I pity all the people at your work at Augusto. Do they actually have to pay to turn up to work? I love what you're doing here, mate, but I'm going to need a few pingers for that computer you're using. It is my computer! Yeah, I know, but it's on my desk, isn't it? Now, I tell you what, a payment scheme of $3 a week should do it. Well, I tell you what, when it's that much fun, when coming to work is that much fun,

then surely you should contribute, you know? OK, how many members do we have on Patreon? Well, including Dan, we've got... Seven. Seven! It's just seven now! Oh, we've gone up! We've got seven!

Seven! Yep, that's me, Fenella's joined. There's more than our weekly listenership. That's weird. No, it's not, surely. So it's very exciting, and the video is really cool. I mean, it's unedited, so if anyone wants to see proper raw footage of us... An hour and a half of us being complete.

It's an hour and a half. You can see Buttons holding his phone up to the microphone to play the theme tune. All the secrets revealed. You can get the extended COVID update chat at the top of the show. Oh, yeah. My parents so love. Oh, so it's basically your parents and you and me, and then another couple of randoms or the Patreon.

That's pretty good. Yeah. Hey, don't call our beloved Patreon members randoms. Without them, we're not making any money. Well, I tell you, I'm still getting used to this whole thing that people leave messages and you get to communicate with these people. It's really exciting. Did you get a communication from me?

Dan? I think I did, and I think it was a message going, hi, can you all tell me why I should be doing? Yes. I have no idea. I have no idea what's going on. Here we go. Here we go. The email that Buttons sent out to all seven people that I was privy to.

Hey, thanks so much for being an early adopter of us on the Patreon machine. We're very humbled. Please let us know if we're doing okay. We have very little idea of what the hell we're doing. What? Well, it's true. I'm being just honest. Oh, my God.

There's so much confidence in the leadership there. I know. The guy who's literally in charge of the technical aspects of the show. Yeah, well, it's true, isn't it? Well, I certainly have very little idea of what I'm doing, at least I'm big enough to admit it. Yeah, I would say small enough and meek enough. Hi, everyone. I hope you enjoy the show.

We've got any help because we require it. If you've got any hints or tips, please let us know. Honestly, I just wear my heart on my... What is it? How do they say it? Sleeve. Sleeve, yeah. I was going to say I wear my heart on my arm and that doesn't sound quite right.

Old arm heart. Yeah. All right, well, ladies and gentlemen, this is the end of this week's Three-Way Vibus Update. Oh, yeah. Bye, Mum. Bye, Dad. I hope you enjoyed the show. That's the only bit we like.

All right, let's do everyone's favourite segment. Weekly World Weird News. Crazy, freaky. Watch out. I thought we couldn't go past this week without mentioning Life on Venus. I mean, this is a big one. So, basically, a chemical signature has been spotted in its clouds. It was a microbial signature found in the clouds of Venus that freaked everyone out.

Basically, astronomers have reported the detection of a chemical in the acidic Venusian clouds, which may be a possible sign of life. That's very cool. What did the signature say? Was it, like, best wishes? Aliens? Oddly enough, it was just a simple signature. One of those ones you can't read.

Could be. We don't know who signed it. So, just to let people know, phosphine, I believe it's pronounced phosphine, depends what school you went to. I didn't go to many. Actually, I did. I take that back. I went to far too many schools, and that's why I'm a bit screwed up.

But phosphine is produced by certain types of bacteria. So that's why they know it's from something living. And although it's really just a tiny signature that's been picked up, it is still earth-shattering because, for a start, we didn't think anything was going to come from Venus. Everyone's concentration is on Mars. And, of course, Venus itself, with over 900-degree Fahrenheit temperatures on the planet's surface, there's just no chance of really collecting any data from there at this point.

The Russians, of course, have sent craft to Venus. And, believe it or not, they are actually claiming Venus is their own planet. Right. Oh. I mean, if it's true, obviously they've found a signature, but we've got to, I guess, we have to wait a bit to find out more about what this means. And, you know, there's a bit of me that thinks there's going to be something of contamination from the thing that found it, which will be traced back to human.

Like, this is the big thing about planetary travel and exploration is that most people who study bacteria and so on, the idea of humans going to a planet is the worst thing possible because suddenly we'll be putting our traces all over the planet and you can't discover if life was there before. And I do half-wonder if we're going to somehow go, damn it, it's terrestrial, it's a human sample of life. I hope not.

I mean, this bit is damn exciting. If we found life in the universe, what's it mean? Well, I read somewhere that if it is proven that this is truly alien life, that it will be the biggest scientific discovery of all time, that it will prove once and for all that life can exist outside of Earth. But I have to say, it will be the biggest scientific discovery, but kind of in some ways the least exciting because if you were to ask anybody on the street,

do you think there is like microbial life elsewhere in the universe? They'd go, yeah, of course, duh. Of course, there has to be somewhere. And they'd go, so we found it in clouds and Venus, you know, wicked, but... It's still microbial. And we knew that we were going to find some microbial. There's been speculation of microbial stuff on Mars and meteors and things like that. And for your average Joe that we count for, it's less exciting.

For scientists, they're losing their shit, but for us, it's like, well, you can't even see it. Come on. But here, get this. So this was in CBS News. Russia's space agency chief declares Venus a Russian planet. What? So, yeah, this is from Moscow.

If there's life on Venus, it might want to start learning Russian. The boss of Russia's government space agency has claimed it as a Russian planet. The bold territorial claim comes on the heels of scientific research suggesting life could exist on Earth's celestial neighbor. Ros Cosmos, chief Dimitri Rogozin, who's known for espousing unconventional scientific views and for frequently sarcastic anti-Western rhetoric, said this week that Russia wants to send its own mission to Venus in addition to an already proposed joint venture with the United States called Venera D.

So now the race is going to be on to get to Venus. But this sparked something interesting for me. The space wars that are, you know, looks like they're going to happen at some point where countries are now going to start claiming planets because if you claim it, if you get there first, then you can start mining it for its minerals. Exactly, like, you know. How does that even work?

Like, you suddenly start looking at that and go, how is it that you can go from this globe where everybody over millennia develops their different cultures, their different governments and their different ways of life, different religions and all that kind of stuff, then they start going out and trying to claim other bodies of mass in the solar system. It just kind of, like, surely we're one whole planet, nobody owns the solar system, nobody owns the planets.

How does a country decide we were the ones there first so we get to own it? It doesn't make any sense. But there's money to be made. That's where it comes in. And, you know, as the superpowers get bigger and more technologies are developed to actually reach these celestial bodies, then territorial claims can be made. And I can just see us heading towards that, you know,

spaceships shooting each other in space. That's what I'm looking forward to anyway. That's exciting. That's exciting. I watched Moonraker the other day and I went, oh my god, we are six months from Moonraker happening. I don't know whether you guys have seen that recently, but it's, yeah. I love it. There's astronauts flying in space with laser guns shooting each other.

Yes. It's interesting because we, with all the satellites that are around Earth at the moment, there's so many and if something bad happens and they break up, they're like bullets in space, basically just orbiting our planet. And so there was a few instances where China blew up one of their satellites in space, basically creating debris to the point where the International Space Station still to this day has to sort of alter its movements if they can spot, because there are people back on Earth who are monitoring these big bits of debris

and whether or not they're getting close to important stuff. And that's a kind of act of war that that was deemed as. That was almost the first space war because that's an intentional littering of space. And we've got so many of these pieces going around that there's a worry that we might get to a point where we can't actually exit our planet because we'll be taken out immediately by all these rogue bits. All the clutter. Yeah.

All the clutter and the clutter can be everything. Sending out feces and urine into low orbits like the International Space Station, because if a poo goes flying out, it turns into a solid and that can take out one. One rogue turd could take out the International Space Station. So very dangerous. We do kind of have a weird space war going on outside already. That's a different kind of a moon raker storyline, isn't it? James Bond is in space trying to stop the rogue turd taking out the, you know,

the International Space Station or creating like the terrorist attack of turds. You've heard of space ships. Now it's space shits. We've got a space ship right up ahead of us. Oh my God. Jetpack out. Everyone jetpack out. Oh, not this again.

No, stop it. Stop it. But it's huge. This is huge. Yeah. If it's true, it's what we've all wanted confirmation of. We all know it's, we all know there are aliens out there. Obviously there has to be life in the universe if it's here,

teaming on this planet. But, you know, there's a thing that some people say, which is this whole solar system, there might have been countless civilizations on different planets like Mars and so on. But the one thing that goes against us is how long the universe has lasted for, what is it, seven billion, I don't know, years. I don't know how long the universe is meant to be. Yeah, but you know, how long have we been communicating with space? It's been about the last hundred and something years that we've worked out how to either put something up,

send something out, hundreds, even two generous, it's less than that. Right. You know, that's nothing in space time, right? There could have been a civilization that lasted for a billion years and they're gone and we just missed them. And so this is incredible. That's true. That we found on a neighboring planet. Yeah.

It's awesome. Going off the back of your, your shit talk there. This discovery was unexpected and a potential game changer. The presence of airborne phosphine is a little like scat stumbled upon in the desert. That's what they're sort of looking at as a, as a, yeah. This is, this is from the CBS article I'm reading here. Hey, did we, I can't remember. Did we talk about NASA staking claims on the moon and getting private companies to start getting up to the moon and mining the moon?

No. Did we not talk about it last week? No. Do you have another podcast, Leon, about space that you're not telling us about? That's my cool one. Button moon. Buttons, the space inside spaces, the shed show. This is my Patreon.

I've actually got about three and a half thousand Patreon followers for that one. So the cryptid thing was just a little bit of a pain in the ass that I just, you know, seven. I mean, why would you bother? No, no, this is, so this was big news over the last couple of weeks where NASA is challenging companies to mine the lunar soil. Right. So what they're doing, they're encouraging, much like they have with Elon Musk to, to start, you know, developing rockets to be able to get up to the International Space Station so they don't have to take care of that themselves.

What NASA have started doing is started to encourage private companies, private American companies to get to the moon to start mining the lunar surface. Now, the interesting thing is, is that they want that to be a commercial enterprise, but they don't actually want to send any of the lunar soil or any of the mining back to earth. They're actually wanting these companies there to start mining it so they can stake a claim and have ownership over areas of the moon. And it's really interesting because over the years, there has been a website called lunarland.com. There has been? Yeah.

Well, it's still there. And it's, it's tagline is Earth's oldest most recognized celestial real estate agency. And for $29, you get one acre of lunar land and a deed and a map and their pledge and a registration with the IAOHPE, which is the International Association of Human Planetary Exploration. Okay. That sounds, sounds legit. Wow. But the thing is that people have always laughed and bought it as a birthday present, you know, I use an acre of the moon that you can have.

I think I might even have some. I think you've got, you've got a deed in the way there somewhere. But what does this now mean? If people have put that, I am, here's a big prediction from me that I reckon that at some point that website that has been selling all of that land is going to win all of this kind of land grabbing of the moon comes up. There will be in a court of law, there'll be a big court case where these people go and say, no, we own these acres of land and people are going to actually own a piece of the moon for $30. Yes. I think it's, I think, and it's a pretty safe bet. It's only $30.

And so I think everybody should go and buy an acre of moon for the fact that it may in the future actually be legit. And if you do that and put in buttons as the promotional code at the checkout, you'll get 15% off. And I'll make sure all proceeds go to the IAOHEP. The world's worst acronym. If you can all remember the IOUPTQ950, it's easy to remember. I will put all my proceeds towards the Save the Acronyms Club. It's like, you know, acronyms, they're just not getting used as much these days, you know? Look, you've got a good point there.

And I think we are getting closer and closer to, you know, getting to Mars. Sorry, the moon. The problem is, by the time this happens, all those owners of land who will stake their claim, they're going to be in their 70s and 80s. They're not going to be able to go there. They're going to be like, give me a chance. Now, they can probably give the land to their children, but that's actually a great movie idea. Yet again, the cryptid factor have come up with a fantastic movie idea of all these regular humans, you know, 500,000, however many have probably more than that, who have got their little Acre squared claim on the moon.

Yeah, this big court case and then a giant spaceship where they all fly there and they all get let out and they get and they get to go and, you know, get their segment of the moon and put their two man tents up. It's like a glass debris. Glass debris. They're just all camping. Moons and debris. Hey, do you know, I found out the other day, I found out that when Armstrong and Aldrin landed on the moon, they went out of the eagle to go down. The door to the eagle didn't have a door handle on the outside. Oh, yeah.

What? Yeah, no door handle. So they couldn't shut the door because if they shut the door, the pressurization of inside might have sucked it shut. And that would have been stuck on the moon. And they'd been stuck on the moon. My God. Really? Yeah.

Did they do the old jam and old slipper in the door or something like that? How do they keep it open? Well, finally enough, yes, one of the things they had to take with them was an old slipper for that very purpose. Don't forget the slipper. What's it? Michael Collins, that would have been the one little joy of the third man that gets very little mention. He'd be up there circling around going stuffies and hit the go home button and just leave them down there trying to jimmy their door open. The go home button.

I bet they do have a go home button these days. It's just a simple one touch. There must be sat nav voice as well. Take a left on the dark side of the moon. Head straight for 360,000 miles. Heading towards Venus. Watch out. You are now in Russian airspace.

What? All right. Okay, my headline this week. A church organ that has been playing a single chord continuously for 2,527 days has just changed to another chord. What? Wow. What? That's weird.

This is really cool. There's an artist slash musician who passed away decades ago now called John Cage. And John Cage is perhaps best known for his 1952 composition four minutes 33, which was pure silence. And he was this kind of composer who had these big plans for how you can stage artistic songs. So four minutes 33 is not actually silent. It's about whatever noise is in the room. That's the composition of the song. And he wrote a bunch of pieces like this.

One of the other pieces he wrote was called organ to slash ASL SP. And that stands for, you know, back in, you know, lover of acronyms. He was as slow as possible is what that meant. And the idea was you had eight sheets of music, but there was no time tempo to it. So the idea was the person playing it had to play it for as slow as they could make sure an audience could tolerate it. And that was the challenge. How slow can you go? So in 1997, this is after John Cage's died, there was a conference of musicians and philosophers, and they talked about that instruction to play it as slow as possible.

And they came up with an idea that on a single organ, playing the notes continuously, starting from 2003, I believe it was, they are going to play this one song, eight pieces of music for 639 years. Yeah. And yeah, and we're now, you know, it started in 2003, 2020, they've just changed cord, the next chord changes in 2022. And it's going to end 639 years from 2003. So I'm not sure the exact dates. 2,640 the year 2,640 is when this is going to end. And they built this organ specifically in this church for it to be playing these notes. And there's this sort of system underneath the organ that keeps the sound going and they've had to put sort of prospects boxes over the organ to stop the noise because it's pissing off people because it's just one droning note.

This is so insane. It's so bad. It's so wonderful. And yeah, so they changed it recently and a bunch of people came to see the chord get changed and I watched it on live stream. So you can, everyone can watch this online. And if you can't hear it annoyingly because of my headphones and the way we record this, but I can tell you that when the chord changes, I really couldn't tell that the chord changed at all. Luckily, you've got me here and I can do great reenactments. So I'm going to do that now.

This is basically what happened. Okay, guys. So basically the the chords going to change any minute now. If you listen carefully, you can you can hear the chord now and you'll be able to notice the change. Here we go. Oh, that was amazing. Did I change? I don't know that if that changed.

Yeah, like Dan said, it's very subtle. Oh, see, I'm not good with subtlety. Did you not notice the change there? No, I know it's a change. Yours had more to change than it had a change. Yeah, you didn't hear the change. Wow. No, I did a little bit, a little bit, a little bit.

So this, this reminds me, I don't really, I don't want to trump your piece of news, Dan, because it just, I know how much effort you put into it. But here we go. I just, it just reminded me of another piece of news about a composition. How many years was your one playing for? Well, it's been playing since 2003 and in two thousand six hundred and forty. Oh, that's cool. That's cool. No, that's a cool.

That's a cool piece of music. No, that's I'm not taking away from that because that's a big achievement. You know, that's a good news story. It's just, I have this one here, a story about a thing called the long player, which is playing a piece of music for 1000 years. So I just, it started on the 31st of December, 1999, and it is going to keep playing this one piece of music or at least this one composition until the very last moment of 2999. Oh, wow. So you're, you're trying to say you're outstripping Dan's news. I mean, I mean, that's not on purpose.

What's the buttons? What's the, what's the bit of news in your news story? Oh, okay. It's not, okay. Well, it's not strictly news then. It's just spot. Because they've just changed chord in this song. That's why it was in the news.

Oh, good point. 1999. 1999 news. Oh, so you can. Oh, okay. I think we've had, we've had a new tone here ourselves, folks. And I think it's having an argument over the most boring news you could ever imagine. Trying to outstrip each other from news about a tone that changes slightly that's been playing for thousands of years.

I mean, I, I'm falling asleep trying to listen to this. That's the sound of all the listeners hanging up. No, no, no, Reese, you don't understand. It's all part of the strategy. You see, what we do is we move all of the really interesting, fascinating stuff to the Patreon podcast where people have to pay for it. And we make this show as boring as batshit. So people are like, oh, it's not quite what it used to be. And you go, nah, you got to pay $5 a month now.

And you get actually what it used to be before Patreon was invented. So I see. I see the strategy. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you've certainly lost me. Yeah. I'm heading over to Patreon now.

All right. Well, this is all very fascinating. Okay. Well, hang on. No, but if Dan got to play the sound of the, the 600 year piece of music, do you guys not want to hear the thing playing? Right then. Reese. Reese made the sound.

Sure. Look, look, Buttons, if you want another reenactment, this time of your sound, I'll be willing to, I'll be willing to push that boat out. Well, just. Come on then. Play your actual audio. Play it. Let's see what it sounds like. Well, the point is this is, this thing is, is going to play for a thousand years and it's not going to repeat the same chord in a thousand years.

So it's not going to, it's not, there's one composition that is never, ever going to repeat itself in a thousand years. And it's playing right now and you can listen online. I just hope that the story doesn't repeat itself for a thousand years. Okay. I'm not going to play it then. I'm not going to play it. No, play it. So this is, this is a tone.

No, no. Is it a key? What is it? It's only like six or seven notes, isn't there? No, no, but the combination of the notes, you know, it's going to play, it's not going to play the same music. On behalf of the listeners, please play this, play this tone and let that be the end of this article or whatever you want to call it. And I, I pray to God this is only on the Patreon and I'm so sorry for you listeners. If you're having to listen to this, this will be a good out.

This will be a nice finish to this debacle of a new story. Well, the truth is I've just found that you actually have to pay to listen to it. So we're not going to listen to it. There it is. We could, we could use our patron money. You know what? There's only one thing that can save this and I'm going to go into it now. The weird thing is people don't even realise that

that was actually me. I just paid to listen to this composition. That wasn't even Rhys Darby singing. It turns out this thousand year old composition is just slight tweaks on the Benny Hill theme music for a thousand years. And you can pay to listen to it. It's really exciting. I would pay to listen to that. And I would gather in a church with a bunch of other people to hear the Benny Hill tune play for a thousand years.

If that was the, if that was the other thing to notice the slight changes, particularly if it was Rhys Darby draped under a cloth while everyone is around. I think that's Rhys Darby under there isn't it? No, no. I don't recognise that tone anywhere. I heard it on the Cooctin Factor. It's Buddy Hymn. How does he change it so slightly every time?

The trick would be you doing it exactly the same every time for a thousand years. Mutton's is out the front with everybody going, don't forget to join our Patreon account. $5. Date your claims. You'll get a piece of the moon. You get a piece of the moon. Keep going, Rhys. Keep going.

I'm running out of breath buttons. Just keep doing your right. We've got seven extra members so far. It's only been 300 years. Whatever happened to Dan? He's been touring the universe with no such thing as a fish for the last 20 years. Never seen the fucking guy. That's how mad we've gone.

That's what's going to end up happening. I think it's time to talk about some creatures. Attention, all personnel, it's time for this week's cryptid. What have you got? Well, as far as crypto news, I'm excited to say that there is an official Loch Ness monster sighting in the seventh one for this year. Seven Nessie sightings in one year. What does that say?

Hang on, hold the thought train. I think doesn't that match up with seven episodes of the cryptid factor? Now that is synchronicity. And seven Patreon listeners. Wow. This is freaky. And I'm going to have to go in about seven minutes. I don't even have that excuse anymore because you guys know I'm in an isolated hotel room

because you're busy stealing stuff from the seven-year-old next door. Okay, so there is actually an official Loch Ness monster sightings register. Oh, that's cool. It's LochNessSightings.com. Go and check it out. And so this is showing here. This is the latest one here, 29th of August, 2020. Mr. Van Schubeck on holiday in the area with his family spotted an unexplained phenomenon

when he looked back at his pictures. This was taken near Point Clear at 222. And so you see it says it's in the distance off to the left of the point of the land. I like how they have to point out where it is in the text. So if you're looking at the picture now, please look to the left of it and zoom in as much as you can and you'll see almost something there. Something almost there. Can you see it there?

It's like a little black blob in the water. It's definitely not something that can easily be explained unless it's a silhouette of a fisherman or something. I've got to say it's not the clearest picture though. It's classic cryptozoology. What's the little black thing right on the edge of the screen there? Because that's sort of disconnected in the same way that that's disconnected. Yeah, that. I think that's either just the point of the land or it's the fisherman's mate.

It could be a seal, but look, it is certainly a photo of an anomaly in the lock. But has this register said, yeah, we will accept that as potential proof? Or does it just mean that seven people have submitted a thing? I think they go through a very stringent process of checking that the photo is real. Actually, I'm making it up. You're making that up, but it does sound good. If I was running the site, I wouldn't take any old photo with the amount of Photoshop people do these days. The reason it looks genuine is because it's not great.

The one good thing on this website is they do actually have a bunch of tabs down the side. One of them is fakes, jokes and hoaxes. They give credence to the fact that there are a few photos. Can you take the photos over to that section at what point? After the two-week mark? Okay, just letting you know that your photo has done pretty well. It's got a few watches, but we are now moving it over to the hoax and jokes section. Okay.

Thank you. Thank you. I take it it was a joke. Yeah, I'm just glad it held on to the official section for so long. Thank you very much for wasting our time. What happened there was the organ music, the holding music. Exactly. That's a 600-year ringtone.

I'm just going to put you on hold. Yeah, put you on hold for 600 years. All right. And if you could just wait for the tone to change and then you'll be put through to Rachel at reception. Hello. Oh, God, thank God the change came. Yeah, about 600 years ago I filed a photo. It's been put straight into the jokes section.

Sorry. Oh, you fuck. That's great. Leon, thank you. Now, do you have anything, Dan? Yeah, I found this story. Thousands in China swarm to hunt for a mysterious creature after they hear a dragon's growling from the mountains.

What? Wow, that's cool. Awesome. This is a village. Yeah, Guizhou is how I think it's pronounced in China. And basically there was this noise that was just being emitted out from the mountains. It was kind of low kind of noise and no one knew what it was. And this sort of rumor started going around that it was a dragon or a mysterious animal

of some sort. And all of the villagers got together to go and capture it to hunt it down and find out what this thing was. So there's all this footage that's emerged online of them appearing on the top of mountains. I'll share the screen here with you guys. This is them all sort of climbing the mountains, trying to track it down to see what it is. And they did eventually find what it is. And I'm going to show you the picture of the beast here.

It was, in fact, this little thing here. What? It's a yellow-legged button quail. A button quail. Oh, it's a button quail. No wonder I felt an affinity. Your namesake animal. Yeah, and if you listen to the noise, it really does.

It sounds far bigger than what this animal is. And it was humming two to three times every six to seven minutes. Oh, what's happening here? More packages. Oh, Reese's got more packages. Reese has just walked off. We can hear other voices in his isolation room, which is... He's interrupted Dan's awesome story about a button quail.

And he's just walked off to go and get some more air-fix models from his buddy Fanbase. Well, it might be the Lucky Dip Dinner, which you might say. Oh, Lucky Dip Dinner. Yeah, cool. Let's see if we can hear. Well, I can't wait to get home. All right, thank you. Sorry, guys.

What was that? That was my medical check. I had to quickly... Are you sure it was a medical check, or were you getting more presents? No, well, look, honestly, I thought it was more presents. So that's why I went to the door. But for the Patreon viewers, you can see I've got my mask on here. One of the rules is when the door opens, you've got to wear your mask.

And it was my daily medical check-up, so they just take my temperature and they ask all the questions. Yeah, they just want to know whether I'm feeling OK. And so I said, of course, yes. I just want to know whether or not that was more important than the button quail in China. So, I mean, your health is important to us, but this is a button quail. I'm so excited about the button quail. Can I just intercept by saying, when the world gets right again,

can we please go on an expedition to find the button quail? Because it's clearly... It roars like a dragon. You know what? It actually reminds me of you, Leon. It's got a big, massive voice, but when you get up close to it, it's a useless bird that you barely notice. And well, it is very much like me because my legs are looking quite yellow as well.

Really? What the hell's wrong with you? You've got a bit of jaundice. You've got a bit of circulation issues. And so maybe I am actually part button quail. I think you definitely are. So the thing that I like about this story, because obviously it's... I was sort of hoping they didn't find what it was or they did find something and it was cryptid in its nature.

But I just love that at the drop of a hat, all these villagers went on a group monster hunt. And it just sort of shows that they've got the capacity to believe that the mysterious is out there and get together and go, let's find this thing. No fear. Let's do this and see. Let's get to the bottom of this mystery. And sure, it ends up it's this little button quail. And the police did arrest a few people, apparently, for claiming it was a dragon. Because apparently in China, that's an illegal thing to claim.

But yeah, I just love that. Look at those photos. All those people go and you need to find this monster. I know. Amazing. But also look at the province that it is in. China looks beautiful. That little village looks gorgeous. It does, doesn't it? Yeah. It's a bit of excitement. And in this world where there's so much doom and gloom,

it's absolutely that want for something positive to happen or something to take your mind off the shit world we're living in right now. So I can see why so many people, I mean, if it happened here, yes, we'd drop everything and walk up a hill together to hear what this crazy sound was as well. All right, we better wrap this up because I feel like... Well, do you know the biggest reason we have to wrap this up is that I'm at 7% on my laptop. No!

Wow. All right, guys. Well, next week will be the final episode of me being in isolation. Is that the last Vibus update? Well, possibly. And one thing I will say, and it's a pleasant surprise for the listeners out there after listening to last week's episode, Button's new segment did not rare its ugly head.

Oh, hey, we haven't finished yet. Hang on. What was it again? You can't even remember it because it was not worth remembering, but it, like a virus itself, it distributed itself throughout the entire show last week and turned the whole show into complete nonsense. So I dare not mention its name, whatever that stupid segment was.

Oh, no, Dan came up with a great title. I can't even remember what it was. No, it was your title and it was wrong. We have to dismantle it because it was all dismantled because it didn't make any sense. And on that note, it is time to go. I say that note, but what is that note? Well, it's this note.

Zarekip! Rekip! Rekip! It's Zarekip, guys. It's time for Rekip. And now it's time for... Rekip! Bye!

Bye! You