The Cryptid Factor - 61: #061 The Other Podcasts Issue

Episode Date: April 14, 2021

Well, If you hoping this show wouldn't get any more chaotic - then we have some bad news for you. In here Rhys busts out the worlds first Rapisode, Dan gets fooled by a Schnart, a Badger and a River Walrus, and Buttons reveals his get rich quick scheme - painfully slowly. Theres also intel on how to become immortal, a Squatch thumb bone under a rug in a river, an Uncle skeletal guitar, and questions about Big Cats in Thrupp. All this - whilst the hosts are simultaneously hosting other podcasts! 

The Cryptid Factor with Rhys Darby and Dan Schreiber. Here we go now. Driving through the forest in my 84 landy. Buttons by my side and Dan who's not handy cause he's sitting in the back reading his books. I said you should not bring them Dan so instead he bought his nook. Watch out! Said Buttons, there's something ahead. I stay him on the brakes but it's an old land driver so it just keeps rolling and rolling and rolling on through.

I hate to be the bear of bad facts says Dan but I think we're in the poo. Drive through the poo! Yells Buttons in my ear. We come to a halt and he drops all his gear. Why do you have to always carry so much gear? Shh! Says Dan like he's working in the library. Sorry Dan, I know you pronounce it Schreibery.

I've got a Schreiber ear! Says Dan in my ear. Can you guys stop saying things in my ears? The skat we drove through, it's not from a bear. We lean down and look and pull out a hair. It's long and black with a slightly red tinge. Are you guys thinking what I'm thinking? Oh why are you thinking minge?

No! It's a satsquatch! We look up and to our surprise there's a big hairy beast with big hungry eyes. I say run! We run as fast as we can except Buttons who trips over his copious amounts of cables. Oh no guys! Oh guys wait up! To be continued next week y'all,

episode 2 on twave. Wow! Wow! Huge! Huge! What? That's the first episode. I can't, that was stunning.

How are we supposed to even podcast after that? Oh that's like Mike drop. Might as well play the outro theme now. Yeah that was like Hamilton. We went from like student plays to Hamilton. That's Hamilton the musical by the way, not Hamilton the small town in New Zealand. Oh no I was talking about the small town,

but that's a good point. Oh the small town! That's like something straight out of Hamilton. That's the sort of rap you'd expect from Provincial New Zealand. Wow, you know what's weird about that, that what was amazing was you were an amazing emcee, but then you represented yourself as a bad rapper within the song. It was so meta.

I can't wait to podcast now just because I want to hear what happens to me in this story. It's really exciting. You're not looking good mate. You have tripped over your cables, there's a huge Sasquatch right there, down and I of course running away as usual. What's your emcee name? Well you know I did that DJ course in the early 2000s when I was in London, for real.

I actually did a course. I've told you guys this story. I've definitely not heard this. I was going to be a DJ. So this is back in the day when I was in London, I was obviously doing comedy, doing stand up and things, and I was thinking what else am I going to have as a career. So I saw in six week DJ course,

decided to sign up for it, learnt key mixing, beat mixing, did the whole thing, turned up every week, and at the end you got a certificate and you had to give your DJ name and it was only a certificate. And mine was, I'm sure I've told you guys this. What's your emcee name? It's not that exciting. What was it?

It's DJ Joker. That's awesome. Yeah, here's why the career didn't flourish. Do you need to explain? The guy said at the end, you've got to now get out there, get amongst it and buy as much vinyl as you can. And for some reason in my head,

I thought we would be given all the records. I didn't know you had to then go and buy records. Oh my God! The only records I had, I had three records. I had the soundtrack to Monty Python's Holy Grail. I had a tour of duty, the soundtrack, because I like the Vietnam War songs, and I think I had the Muppets.

So those are the three. And I said, well, how much am I going to get done with this? You can, good luck. You've got to have to buy a lot of actual music. And so I gave up. What a cool idea of going to a comedy night where DJ Joker comes on, but you scratch and mix a bunch of sketches

from various different comedy shows over history. So it's like, dead parrot sketch! And then you play that. And as we hit the end, you suddenly scratch into Mitchell and Webb. Exactly. Oh my God, it's SNL Dan Acroydero! You know.

Well, I did do that with my friend Ryan. We did a few DJ nights at his bar. And I would intertwine music, like David Bowie stuff like that, with comedy sketches. We put in quite a few moments from the goodies. But it was kind of more for your geeky groovers. Geeky groovers!

It's quite a tight subset. The geek set actually want to go out at night. They're a rare breed. You two would be included in that. You'd be geeky groovers. Oh, that's my ideal night. Yeah, so a bit of music, but because too much music,

you're forced to either get out on the dance floor or head off. But if you've got a bit of comedy coming through as well, you can sort of have a laugh and then you feel more comfortable. Absolutely. If I could go to, you know, disco nights or just rave nights and on top of the music

was just a good audio book, that would be my ideal scene. An audio book? That's a great idea! Also, remember, we did do techno info. Techno info boom. Techno info boom, that's right. And there's actually a fan who is composing a song based out of our info facts

and turning it into a techno song. There's a clip of it. I'll find it and check it out. Let's save that for the end. Maybe that's the outro theme today. You think that's the outro, but really what is the outro is, it's my rap again. I'm reprising it.

Oh, great! Because I've actually recorded it because I've, you know, practiced it and I have a recording of it as well, which I'll play at the end. You've recorded an album! For the geeky groovers out there! Wow, that is cool, man.

All right, let's kick into everyone's favorite segment. It's Weekly World Weird News. Crazy, freaky. Watch out. Okay, headlines. Let's do it. We missed out last week. Let's give it a whirl. All right, I'm going to chuck one in. Man builds guitar

out of his dead uncle's skeleton. Whoa! Oh, my God! That is hideous. Metal musician, he now plays with his uncle's actual skeleton. And we'll see some pictures very soon.

Patreon people. Oh, that's so good. Okay. My headline. Woman wins lotto. What? There's obviously more to it. Are you serious? No, but this is how she won lotto.

And it's going to lead into a very exciting get rich, moderately fast scheme. It's very exciting. Doesn't sound it. I've got to admit. This is the reason

there's been a push to drop the headlines bit. You're not supporting the claim that the headlines are the funniest part of the show by saying woman wins lotto. There's nothing in that. But it's how she wins lotto.

Yeah, but that's what you're meant to craft into the headline. But no, but they don't just give the whole thing away. That's fine. We're going to hear it in a second. Well, you'll see. You'll see. I'm giving what I think is the way

for everybody to become millionaires. Okay. All right. Here's mine. Humans to become immortal by 2600. That's a headline. There you go. That buttons. That is a headline. Let's put those two together next to each other.

Okay. So what did you have again? Just remind us about your headline again. My one is woman wins lotto in a way that might make you a millionaire. No. That's not what you had. Can I change my headline? Mine's now man plays guitar.

Is that okay? I like what you've done there. Okay. Well, this is the story of a metal guitarist. His name is Prince Midnight and he decided to re

a purpose his uncle Philip who passed away in the 90s in Greece into a metal guitar. So originally Philip or Philippe donated his skeleton to local college and he was prepared for the school. So after 20 years, he ended up

in a cemetery and his family had to pay rent on it. This is the quote like literally in a wooden box. It's a big problem in Greece because orthodoxy religion doesn't want people cremated. So Prince Midnight proceeded to contact the authorities and he repatriated

his uncle's remains. Now he's a metalhead so he's turned him into an actual guitar. He's created the guitar and the rib cage is the bit where he strums. So I'll play a little video here so you can hear him

playing his uncle. Oh dear Can you guys see that? Oh my god that is so insane. Is there not laws against that? No. No because he donated it to science.

All right. What you're about to hear a listener is a man playing his uncle. I can't tell if he's crap at playing guitar or if his uncle's not a good guitar. I can't tell which way

rare. Wow. That's so weird. I mean that truly is crazy tricky. Watch out. Is that the future though? Is that where we're heading? That we repurpose our loved ones? I think

so. I think there could be a company that you go and see and you go look, you know, my dad's just died. What are the options with him? And they say well, you know, you could have a stool, you know, you could have a gazebo. How big was he? A gazebo! I want to be turned into a gazebo

when I die, please. You can stretch out far enough to have a small family shelter underneath you for sure. I think we should make you into little buttons. You could literally become button on all your family's clothing. Yes.

Or an umbrella. I think I'll be the umbrella stand because I've always had to hold you up basically. And Dan, I think you could possibly be a couple of deck chairs. Oh, thank you. Yeah. I could see.

Variants of that. Because that'll be handy for anyone who wants to have a read, you know, and part of you could be a deck chair and also perhaps a bookshelf that might suit you. That would be great. See, look, I'm already the guy that's selling the options for the

dead body skeleton parts. Yeah. Okay, guys, I've got you down for a bookshelf and you also want to be, you want your uncle who's also hasn't passed away yet, but I see he's in the room with you. You know, I'm actually okay. Yep.

Dan says you're on your last legs. Now you're down to be a deck chair. Oh, I don't want to be. I don't want to be a deck chair. Well, unfortunately, you're unable to have any say on the matter because you are over a hundred. I'm okay. No.

So, in fact, if you could just get into the deck chair position now, because it looks like you're on your last legs. I did a deck chair position. I can now just see it. Oh, my God. Old man buttons. I see you're bending over there.

You're listed here as bike stand. You're going to be a bike stand. Yeah, your family have put you have put you down for that. Is that all right? Well, it depends how I am the bike stand though. Well, here's the position you need to get into.

I know you're very, very old now and if you could just you know, when you start a swimming race and you're at the edge of the pool and you're about to dive in and you sort of bend over and you touch your toes ready for that ready for that on your marks. Dive in if you can get into that position

bend right over there. There we go. And so that's where we're going to park the bikes. Right on the jackseed. Oh, here we go. That's it. Bend right over. That's good. Like that. That's it.

Okay, now you can just dive here. That's it. Dive. No, he hasn't died. He's walked away. But yeah, do you know there was that business where they used to take the remains and crush them into

diamond rings so you could have your family member to the motto of the company was diamonds and grandma forever. But that feels boring because that's reducing to ash, whereas this person has actively made a practical bit of furniture.

I feel like Reese's business is legit now. I feel like we could do this. I'd definitely buy that guitar and I'd buy you as a dick chair, Dan. It'd be awesome sitting on you. I know your accents but it does sound like you're saying dick chair and then when you say I'd love to sit on you

it just sounds... There's no more dick humor this week. Oh, a dick humor. Oh, my God. Don't let it happen. I'd love to sit on you, Dan, as a dick chair. It doesn't. Reverse out of there, guys.

What would the company be called if you're making furniture and objects out of bones and reusing recycling? Well, that's Reese's company. Reese Cycling. Yeah. Well, no, that's you turning

bones into bicycles. Yeah. It's a double play on words. Oh, yeah. That's... Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well done. Sorry, I'm a bit off at the moment.

I was looking at a different news article. I think I got bored. Yeah, Reese looks so confused. I was like, are you okay? What's going on? You look like you were lost in the wrong podcast. You're like, what am I doing in this?

So, I'm a bit off today. Are we recording the other one? Yeah. No, I'm still doing this one as well, but I just want to make sure that the actual one I'm doing is streaming live now. Yeah, okay, cool.

Hi, fans. I don't have a news factor as well, but I'll be with you very shortly as soon as we go into some news from one of these other guys. I'll slip out and have a chat to you all. Buttons. What is your news article?

I'm really excited because someone won a lot of... a woman, I believe. Okay. I'm not selling it very well, but I like a... I don't want to oversell it at the same time, right?

Because the story is effectively just about a woman who won lotto, but the key part of it fits into a belief that I have that all of us can become incredibly wealthy by using our premonitions and tapping into premonitions

because this woman won $60 million in a lottery. She said she got from winning numbers from her husband's dream. Wow. This woman, her name is Ding Prova Todom and she has, for the last

20 years, been used a set of numbers that her husband dreamt about 20 years ago. In December, her dream became a reality when the wife playing those numbers won $60 million jackpot in the Ontario

lottery. $60 million. Not to be scoffed at. Not to be scoffed at. $60 million. Did the husband wake up and go 20? Did he say his numbers as a thing? She wrote them down.

He said, I saw us in the future and we were incredibly wealthy and it was because of these numbers on a lotto ticket and they wrote them down. For 20 years, I've just played them every week and then they won. He's not getting a lot of airtime

in your story here, given that he was the one who... He's a good point. That's a very good point. But I guess she is the one and this is exactly the point, Dan, is that she was the one who went okay, there's a premonition.

We have to take this premonition very seriously and act on it. He would have never bought the tickets. It may have just been one day that those numbers that he dreamt about happened and if she wasn't buying the tickets, it would have meant nothing. The interesting thing here is that

you don't know what time is, right? You certainly don't. The amount of times you either haven't even turned up or you've been ridiculously late. No, that's not in time. Okay, sometimes.

But this is my get-rich-quick scheme, okay? And it's based around the fact that we still don't yet understand what time is and if there is a scene called Block Time, thinking about things that have happened in the past and memories,

theoretically, looking into the future, premonitions may just be memories of the future that we have. It actually hasn't happened yet but we're actually having like I remember that time when I won Lotta. Yes. Very nice.

Yeah. So is that what Block Time is? Everything's already in place and we're just in the middle of it and we've got things before and things after. Yeah. And sometimes we get memories of things in the future. So what is the present buttons in that theory? What is now?

Well, the way that I like to think about it is... A waste of time. Waste of time. We're currently in the shipment. You'd think if I had remembered this happening yesterday, I would have gone, oh god, let's not do it.

Well, this is why you need to practice your premonitions and this is my get-rich-quick scheme. Yeah. I should have called you up this morning and warned you not to do this bit. But unfortunately, I was in the present at that time and I thought that was the shit bit. But this is it.

This is the problem. Here's some advice. Hurry up and get through it so it can be in the past and we can forget about it all. Okay. What I'm saying is that I'm going to start practicing my premonitions by sitting down once a week

and think about memories of a week's time of me sitting in the same spot and trying to get a premonition of what the lotto numbers will be the following week. Yeah, but if you're sitting in the same spot in the future, it means you didn't win.

What you need to picture in the future is you sitting in the Bahamas with your millions going, glad I used those seven numbers, but if you're still in that seat, you're not doing well, mate. Yeah. No, but if I sit down and I memorize the numbers

from the week before, then I sit there and try and connect with my memories of the future of a week's time where I have remembered the numbers from the week's time in the future.

Why are you bothering to remember the numbers from the week before? No. Forget about them. That's already happened. All you're doing is remembering readily available numbers that were published because they've happened.

But I'm creating a future memory except for me to hang on. I made more sense in my head when I thought about it. Can we just do a normal woman-women-wins-lotto story? I'm just remembering

I'm remembering myself in about an hour's time down at the beach having a gin and tonic. And finally, I'm in my happy place and this actually isn't happening. Guys, when I become a millionaire... Wait, so sorry, Buttons, you want to remember

a week ahead remembering backwards is what you're saying? Yes. That's interesting. So, I'm sitting there going in a week's time, I'm going to remember the numbers. So, I just have to connect with that memory

that happens in a week's time and then write those numbers down. So, each week I sit there and memorize the week's numbers before for the person a week ago and then write down the numbers for the lotto next week from the memory

of the person that's going to sit there and then a week at the beach. Alright, I'm going to buy a British lotto with that. We'll buy a New Zealand lotto. Let's all reconvene next week. And next week if there's no cryptid factor next week

you all know why. And it's going to happen that quickly, instantly. As soon as we win that set, drop everything. Yeah, but I think if we found some people to do a research group where we all sit down and do this lotteries memory.

Yeah, odds are someone's going to win something. Cool, great story, man. Okay, so let's have a chat about the future of humankind. So, this is from the Daily Star which is a

reputable publication in the UK. Humans to be immortal by 2,600 and time travel to raise the dead inevitable, says experts. Hang on. Yes? So, read that one more time.

Oh, yes. To raise the dead, inevitable, says experts. Right. Okay, let me start again. Is this on? Are you on your other podcast? Sorry, are you still recording?

No, I'm doing the cryptid factor right now. I'm doing the cryptid factor. I'm just going to quickly go through this article and then we'll get back into our stuff. Yeah, come through, have a seat. Reese's other podcast, apparently, is just talking to his producer about other things he's doing.

No, I'll be with you in a minute. Yeah, they want to hear it again. They're so thick, they can't hear this article based on the headline alone. Okay. Humans to be immortal by 2,600 and time travel

to raise the dead inevitable, says experts. So, Alexi Turchin, who is a transhumanist, academic, has published an immortality roadmap which details how humanity will one day be able to live forever

and even bring the dead to life. And not just as an electric guitar. I think I'd prefer the electric guitar, but actually. Okay, so there's a video here with the chat talking. Listen to this.

I think technology is very predictable and it's quite easy to make a timeline and get it right within a few years, certainly even at the 15, 20 year horizon. At the moment, we can already see how we're making primitive links to the nervous system. There's often accidents that can now get links

to robotic limbs, for example. We're doing very simple stuff. You can draw timelines as to how this gradually gets closer and closer into the brain. IBM has just announced a brain chip. They're doing neural network type stuff and all sorts of other things.

We're seeing progress coming and we can see where that progress is going and you can see roughly how fast it's getting there. So you can make predictions on the timelines as well. The reason I don't normally talk about that sense is because when you go that far ahead, you're talking about immortality technology

and stuff which you really associate with something beyond the other side of Star Trek. That's how fast things are moving and people then think you're just being wacky. But really in a 50 year time frame you can put an end to death. You can just download your entire mind going through a computer, store it forever.

That's 50 year sense. If you just want to connect your nervous system and store sensations, that's much, much easier. So run us through it. This is about living forever and he basically says there's three plans. Plan A is simply surviving

until technology becomes advanced enough to artificially prolong life. In the meantime, humans who want to live forever must simply stave off death by replacing their organs with bio-engineered ones or simply staying alive in a nanotech body.

As these methods are mostly unavailable or unsuccessful, he then recommends Plan B which is cryonics or freezing the body until a solution is developed. A service already apparently offered by several companies.

Now Plan C is digital immortality which involves preserving data about a specific person so they can be reconstructed in the future by AI beyond current capabilities. It's also known as indirect mind uploading.

So that was brought up on that series Black Mirror. You might have seen that episode called Be Right Back in which a woman recreates her dead husband in a cyborg based on his social media history. So this guy, Turk,

he's already committed to this idea ensuring his preservation in internet history. He's recording every minute in detail so he hopes to one day pass on to a super intelligent AI

all the information about himself so a digitized version could be downloaded into a host body perhaps even cloned from his own body. Yeah, so it's all about people are getting excited about living forever and with technology

being at the precipice of that enabling function now. Well, William Shatner just did a thing where he's recorded himself as an AI respondent so it was with a company called Storyfile

and he's sat for hours and hours just answering questions that I guess most Trekkie fans would ask and the idea then is that you can sit down with William Shatner and be like in that episode where Spock was really pissed off with you and you did what

and he'll have the answer and they record so much that they can I think create original answers based on the theme of the personality via a sort of algorithm of analysis of how he might answer based on previous answers.

We're heading into that territory aren't we and that was crazy thing that Kanye West did for Kim Kardashian before they broke up where she did an AI, he did an AI-esque hologram of Kim Kardashian's dad

which was so freaky, he was 3D and he was there going hey Kim, I'm so proud of you and then Kanye added in a thing like by the way you met the most incredible human in the world with Kanye West, like it suddenly was like praising

but it's crazy, we're in that territory where we're you know, this makes my skeleton guitar look old school really comparative it certainly more fun but I wanted to touch into the reality of how things are going

in that regard, it does all tie in I love that he had Plan A Plan B and Plan C, I love that Plan A was just lived to the year 2600 Plan A, don't die for 600 years. The worst part was there was also Plan D which I didn't even

mention, I sort of got bored of it okay the problem I have with this whole thing is he's forgetting in my opinion the soul, you know it's all very well putting all your information on a supercomputer, everything you've ever said or done

our lives will live forever because you look at the internet and facebook you know, everything we've ever done is still out there and once we pass away and become deck chairs or Leon of course had gazebo you know, our old life will carry on

as long as the internet lives forever we live forever but even past people our favorite movie stars and rock stars from the 60s and 70s comics, they're living forever and they're being manipulated into new

adverts where they're suddenly saying new words Tupac is making new rhymes on stage as a hologram I actually had this idea the other day and I'm sure somebody's probably working on this imagine when computers are clever enough to be

able to look at the trajectory of an artist's career, like say John Lennon who obviously died before his time imagine an AI computer being able to look at all of his musical progression from the Beatles all the way up through every

song, the way that his musical abilities were developing and his tastes and styles and get it to predict the type of music he would have kept writing if he was still alive and basically have a computer write John Lennon's

unwritten albums that sort of stuff has to happen, sure well it will now that you've mentioned it it's become official and I think there's a premonition was this Future Buttons channeled into the podcast wow

he's more interesting than present buttons I like it when future buttons turns up and actually says something that has some poignancy this is all that fortune tellers are fortune tellers are people like me that can see into the future and can actually tap into future memories

and go oh you know what's going to happen to you let me just think about it no you're definitely going to meet a man who's going to be tall dark and handsome I mean there's something in this we can just as much as we like but I always had visions as a kid

of where I wanted to be in life and what I wanted to be doing DJ Joker I wish to register and complete hahahahahahha because, dick it is hahahahha you know you can project

there's a difference between dreams and having there's something there that you can imagine Imagination is strong enough, but you You feel as though it could happen somehow some way then It will it will You know what happened? It actually happens to my sister Lisa all the time

She's she will have a feeling and go like oh that's something that's definitely gonna happen And then sure enough a few days later some of it would happen and it's happened in like quite remarkable ways clearly Present buttons is back and he's nowhere near as fun Or as insightful as future buttons, so I've got to tap into future buttons more. I've got to figure this out. This is what it's like Future buttons. Oh here we go. This is You can tell you can always tell because he struggles with his sentences. He looks off to the corner of his eye The present button has got nothing going on

I'm hoping that future buttons is going to turn up He is always looking off screen as if like Michelle's just trying to help him out with some written words on a page see No, I'm just Steering off trying to see if I can conjure future buttons Ah, right what I'm thinking what might help is if we start doing this podcast every week From my local lotto store I think this was actually past buttons. This is the first time we've seen him turn up and he's even worse than present buttons

He's talking about stuff that he's already talked about and trying to bring it up again I think it's time to do some cryptid buzz. Let's do some cryptid buzz Attention old personnel. It's time for this week's cryptid Oh, help me. Well, I've got I've got some good bigfoot news Once a bigfoot hunter finds fossilized thumb bone of creature twice the size of humans in florida Wow Ah, so a fossilized thumb bone. Yeah So this isn't bigfoot news. This is just a bigfoot hunter finds separate

Is that what you're saying? It's he's not saying he's not saying it's bigfoot's thumb bone He's saying it's a just crazy massive thumb bone Yeah, and he's sort of like he's he's convinced that it is a sasquatch bone Okay These these obviously got no proof of that apart from the fact that's a thumb bone twice as big as a human's one Uh, which makes sense Where's the thumb bone? What what is the thumb bone? Is it the top because there's a few there's a few separate bones, right? There's a lot of bones

What's he saying? Is it the is it the top the top bit of the thumb or is it the I don't know the thumb bone It says he says, okay. I'll read this. I'll read the story then It's a bigfoot researcher and author coniflin Says that he's found a giant humanoid thumb bone fossil He's which he's compelled is the evidence of the bigfoot. So he's he's making big claims that this is The evidence this is the missing link as it were Not the missing link. This is the missing evidence that's needed. It's the missing thumb bone We're just missing the thumb. We've got the rest of the missing link. It's just that the thumb

To complete the jigsaw. We couldn't prove it until we had the thumb bone Oh, anyway, he found this fossil in a local creek in Mariana, florida There's actually a little video Here if you want to so do you want to me to play? I'd love to because I'm still I still can't picture Which bit of bone it is it'd be good to know. Well here. I'll show you here. All right. This is a fossil I found in local creek here and Mariana, florida

um, it's definitely a hominid thumb bone it's Belongs to something that would have been much bigger than what I am And from what I know that there was no hominid species other than homo sapiens on in florida at any time um They just didn't evolve here. So

anybody wonder what's Why they never found any remains of bigfoot. Well, they did they just They swept it under the rug swept it under the road And we're pretty big guys six foot two six foot three and this is about twice as big As our thumb bone. Okay. So that looks like the sort of video you and I would put together if we found something in the garden And if you're wondering why they haven't found any remains well, they have here it is here It's just been swept under the rug. Yep swept under the rug, man It's like come on guys

Do you honestly believe that the government has found all the bones and have been hiding them from us because they don't want to prove That there was a hominid that is a missing link between uh Great ape and homo sapiens I think what he's saying is that when they were in the river there was an old rug that was there in the river So I literally found that under the rug. Yeah, but also why why do they think it's the thumb? I mean, surely each of the phalanges looks very similar that first bone Before the knuckle or after the knuckle. I should say yeah, I'm going to go out on a limb myself here

A human one and say let's let's move on to my news This is real deal stuff. It's big cat news Gloucestershire Gloucestershire news in the uk a really good abc sighting here So i'm quite excited More than one researcher has sent this to me big black cat spotted prowling fields outside Sprout this for me is a slam dunk on the picture. I'll put it up here so you can see yeah, that's pretty I mean that is not a dog. No, has that been verified as a photo by the way as in

Do you do you have any questions about that photo or do you think that's that's legit? Any questions I didn't know you suddenly we're now going to start asking me if I have any questions about it Are you a reporter? I've actually switched into my role now. Are you taking over on this news? Do I have any questions? No, I'm happy with it I was just really inspired by you having a second podcast. I've set up a second investigative journalist podcast while we're doing this podcast And i've set up a lotteries number podcast you've got a future podcast Your podcast has already been released a week ago, but you're recording it now

So I'm about to tell you this news and you're already asking me if I have any questions about it No, I don't have any questions. I'm producing this news now And not for your second podcast by the way, this is going out to my second podcast over here Yep, take a seat, mate. Well, the sad thing is is he dance third podcast He's there's every chance he's doing no such thing as a fish now on the other thing I'm talking I'm talking to Stephen Fry right now. I'm raising money for comic relief So he's got some questions has he and you're asking me if I can answer them

Can you ask me if I've got any questions about the photo to dad because I've actually sort of got a couple I'll get to you Go back to the past please and try and figure out how you can get your present buttons Back and then promote the future writer who was quite intelligent Now a long black Tail a distinctive feline movement and not as wide as a Labrador Could this image show a large cat roaming the countryside Gloucestershire? The creature was seen in fields just outside Stroud yesterday

And when I say yesterday, I mean, you know a good week and a half ago At around 11 a.m This was march 24th and the man who captures it on camera is convinced about what he saw So the mystery animal was spotted near ham mill lane So if there's any listeners out there that are in this area The village of Thrupp. That's thrupp Just outside the town walking through a field which is surrounded by trees Yeah, he says unsure what the animal was but it was certainly feline in its movement

My first thought was that it was a family dog That maybe got out So initially I wasn't scared at all once he realized what it could be i.e a big cat He quickly snapped a couple of pics and then retreated He says it seemed to be playful and completely unaware of me in the minute or so that I observed it What what I love is that he I think he really did take Some good pictures of it. Here's another one here, which isn't quite as obvious as that first one But you can still see it's a feline object. It's definitely

Yeah, it's there's definitely I was gonna say there's no question about it, but there are questions Questions about it, but it definitely looks me like that's cat and then it just comes down to okay So is it a regular cat? How do we but look at the stretch look at the length of it so big cats Are almost elongated in there in there in their size as opposed to your domestic moggy Which is normally quite sort of shorter in stature and sort of squashed these big cats

are Obviously big can I can I just quickly Ask both of you if they are out there. Why are there only photo evidences? Why isn't anybody found a carcass? Why hasn't anybody you know actually captured one incredibly hard to get I mean one of the trickiest animals out there is the cat because it can lurk. It can be silent. They are apex predators They're not easy to catch. I mean also on my property here. I have A lot of wild rabbits

I would love to capture one of those haven't even thought about the idea of how you would capture a rabbit You go back to I know I've moved on to rabbits now, but The old water brother's cartoon with the capturing that pesky wabbit. You know, what was that character with the shotgun? I'm gonna get you you pesky Never does he because it's so hard to get these animals that how Agile not getting caught is their way of life for them to survive Well, you've got a phone call coming through on your other podcast there Dan Is steven fry got any questions for me based on? Yeah, we've got some questions coming in. Yeah

No, no, no, he's no he's explained it with the whole elmer fudd thing. No, no it makes sense. Yeah Elmer for you can always boil everything down with Warner Brothers cartoons. It's a great medium for explanation Wow, that's that's exciting. Yeah, I mean, I feel like I'm more excited by the photos than you guys are I'm trying to work out the why you're both hesitant to that looks like an absolute slam dunk to me Well, I've seen them before Yeah, this is why I didn't have any questions for myself because I I had seen these photos in the build-up to doing this show I'm like someone like buttons who would literally just

Click on the article for the first time as he's talking about it. I've done some pre-research well, I just think that you know, it's it is Clearly a cat like this is the thing. This is why I ask how we feel about what you know what they are and What the story is with them is because it seems to be now that it's almost apart from proving them by capturing one Or finding a carcass They are just so proven In my mind and I wonder if there's any groups out there doing anything about trying to track them down in a real sort of zoological

way Yeah, I don't know. It's it's weird, isn't it? I know what you mean. It's sort of like it's almost Remember when we did one of the very first podcasts that I was part of with you guys when I first joined cryptid factor And we were in LA and there was an escaped monkey which was just down the road And you're kind of like this surely is a bigger deal There must be escaped monkeys all over the shop. But and that's kind of what it feels like it's sort of like if there is a giant cat No one seems to be really bothered. I don't know why it's it should be a bigger deal

Well, if if they're not attacking children and ripping humans to shreds, then what's the problem? Yeah, you know cats cats are silent hunters, you know for the amount of abc's that are in the uk there's got to be some sort of No, I've lost it Are you getting distracted by your other podcast now it's coming through now it's coming through it's coming through

concern So if you can just edit between where I said the word there's got to be some Some sort of some sort of and then just come back in with the word concern there I might just fill that space with what I think your brain was actually thinking about I might just narrate what that silence was. You can hear it. It's kind of like recent his own break going. Hey, boy Oh my god, what is it? What is what's the word? Oh, thank god. All right sit down All right, uh concern guys

Well, yeah, I I just I just think that for the amount of Photographic evidence there is of big cats in the uk as opposed to the amount of photographic evidence of bigfoot in america There's a lot more people that seems hunting Bigfoot and the vast amount of forest and bush in The u.s. Then there are people in the uk going to try and prove this other cryptid. I think it's That's a genuine genuine question And I know you're probably we're gonna ask me down if I already had these questions, but I think

Surely there's got to be an organization out there in the uk that is setting up traps or is trying to capture Physically capture some of these big cats so we can first of all prove that they're there and second of all Just repeat the last sentence I've got I've got nothing on this one just repeat the thing you said they won't They won't they won't because they don't listen that intently Well, there's a risk here. There's a risk here. They might could take the piss again and do that thing where they Call in the Thought no, they won't do it. They won't if they do just go straight into this bit again

What this bit here Where you talk about the two thoughts and just reiterate it and make a sketch out of it You're quite helpful to prison race Yeah, but future future east is apparently only 20 seconds ahead of the future My future Is very close to my present which is why I'm successful because I can literally see Where I'm supposed to go now, unfortunately buttons your future present I'm supposed to be able to see where I'm supposed to go

I'm supposed to be able to see where I'm supposed to go Now, unfortunately buttons your future buttons is years ahead Far too far you can never reach them. You can never reach them When I do it's really exciting because I get glimpses of you know, what future is going to be I know but you're closer to your past buttons And that's why you love nostalgia and you always go to those antique trade fears because you're trying to grab buttons from a few years back And that guy was never any good in the first place when he was present buttons

He was annoying He didn't know where he was at How far ahead is future buttons? Is future buttons on his way to being alive to 2600 with plan a? Oh, he's he's way up there. He's hundreds of years ahead. I'm done immortal. Yeah He's immortal and he's also hundreds of years in the future. That's why he keeps Trying to bring him back in time machines and saying he's an alien and stuff He's still making cryptid factor apparently

That's the thing guys, I don't know. I'm half the time thinking about what we're talking about in 10 episodes time And thinking that what we're talking about now is like all old news. Yeah, he's the guy who's famous for bringing up old news Here it is again. It's It's past buttons really dominant Your past guy is so dominant He gets right up in the grill of present buttons and actually takes over present buttons half time All right, is there any more is it any more cryptid? I have a quick story breaking news Alleged Loch Ness monster sighted in lake mendota. Oh

This is reported by the badger herald and I'm gonna stop you there. Do you have any questions dan? Wow about what you've just said I I actually I actually do Because dan cryptid factor dan is about to tell you the story But investigative journalist dan has already spotted a flaw in this story, which he's been investigating on the sidelines So cryptid factor dan would like to say that late wednesday night multiple individuals reported sightings of a strange creature

A kin it says in the report to the scottish folklore of Loch Ness monster in lake mendota And uh, they received a call the mpd, which is the madison police department saying a dark serpentine creature Strange and melancholy was making noises off the western shores of the lake 253 from picnic point as it is known people were hearing it couples were reporting it calling it in a weird creature that was moving through the um Through the uh the lake so there was all sorts of um calls that were made in one call with the this is the quote from the call Yeah, bro. It was making these weird effing noises and flopping around in the lake outside our house I was like get the pledges out there and see if we can catch it

So the um the pledges the pledges. I don't I don't know what a pledge is but that's um They're doing a telethon. Yeah Go bring the pledges in man until we get five hundred thousand dollars. We're not going to go get that monster. So pledge now Hello, I'd like to offer two hundred dollars If you could get out there and find this thing that's 200 New Zealand dollars. All right. Thanks Thanks, Mary. So william schnart. Who's a professor in the department? Do you have any questions william schnart about what you've just said there?

I've got a couple of questions about that sounds awfully like william schart It does apart where poo comes out and i'm starting to wonder if is this You're talking about pledges and sharts. Is this a real story? Well, investigative dan was still on board with my other podcast as I was as I was hearing this story read out And then I discovered the next name. So william schnart has uh said that it might be a river walrus Because they could be confused for it Um, but then the next person appears in the stories So i've got a couple of questions

A graduate student from Celtic studies department of uw called Howard buts Are you what? What come on? I'm what? I'm telling you this is reading this from well the badger the badger herald but My other podcast which is listening in and recording as we speak The investigative journalist has just noticed that the Date to which this article has been published

Is april the first 2021 Dan shriver cryptid factor has been conned by april fools But fortunately Dan shriver investigative journalist was listening in as we were recording this to bust this wide open. Thank god I think what actually was actually happening is that you needed some content for your investigative podcast

and so you thought I put a fake news article and ruin the cryptid factor a little bit It'll make your other podcast better. I see how this works. Yeah for questions questions questions Questions with dan shriver. I've got lots. I've got lots of them That's right folks all questions no answers with this week's dan shriver podcast Oh, but can I ask you a question? I know it's kind of your forte. Yeah, but um Is this the second article that the shriverians have given you because you so find out on a track record with bigfoot dick

And william schnart And the schnart hoax Well, congrats mary magneson you you got me Almost almost and no questions been recording at the same time Hey, I have found the little sample that has been sent through by one of our Wonderful cryptid night patreon members of the info techno boom song. Oh cool. Yes So before we go into it. This is our our three part outro sequence where we're going to play Uh, a little bit of info techno boom then go swiftly into a bit of re starby's

Rappersode a reprise a reprise and then the outro theme. Well before we do this, that's also a goodbye and See you all next week. Oh, we don't want to well should we say that after this because we might want to react to the song No, I've already said it Are you doing a goodbye already? I might do another goodbye a bit later. This is my main one No, this is you you only get one shot at a goodbye. No, when you're not allowed to say it after this It's a new rule. I'm gonna do mine after the theme tune Wow Like a bonus track, you know when like it's silent for six minutes and then just suddenly

Oh god, yeah, and I'm gonna drop my goodbye at a random point. Okay I just want to remind everyone my goodbyes already happened I'm glad I've already left because this is terrible. This is present buttons at his worst Hey, I'm just trying to I'm finding stuff. I'm down at the beach I've already cracked open my eski and I've got a nice cold beer in my hand Okay, well whilst Reese is down at the beach Dan, and I are going to get to listen to excitingly mica bell Has sent us this little intro for info techno boom. So here we go

Oh Wow Pruising through the forest in my 84landy Buttons by my side and dance feeling randy because he's sitting in the back reading his books I said he couldn't bring them. So instead he brought his nooks. Watch out buttons There's something up ahead. I slam on the brakes, but it's an old land driver. So it just keeps rolling and rolling and rolling on through I hate to be the bear of bad facts says Dan, but I think we're in the poo Drive through the poo yells buttons in my ear. We come to a halt and he drops all his gear

Why do you have to always carry so much gear? Shh says Dan like he's working in the library. Sorry Dan. I know you pronounce it shribery I've got a shri dear says Dan in my ear. Look, can you guys just stop saying things right in my ears? The skate we drove through it's not from a beer. We lean down and look and pull out of here It's long and black and slightly red tinge. Are you guys thinking what I'm thinking? Why are you thinking men? No, it's a sasquatch We look up and to our surprise a big hairy beast with big hungry eyes I say run we run as fast as we can except for buttons who trips over his cables

To be continued It's so Next week yo If only Reese was here, I would tell him that was really remarkable. It was genius. Oh, this is the part where you put the theme song on now Goodbye There was my random goodbye there What at the moment where you you would normally say goodbye? Well done on your randomness there

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