The Cryptid Factor - 62: #062 The IIVI Issue

Episode Date: May 1, 2021

In this jammed-packed, over-time issue we kick off with the next ep of the Rapisodes. Then Rhys gets an annoying internets service inserted in his head - then Dan gets a haunted book - then Buttons brings joystick monkeys. Then we hear of over-loved chandeliers, fireproof artwork fire-suits, misplaced space trees and cryptid croissants. We then get a small tease of a big cat hunt and an important notice in the noticeboard. So just a normal episode really. Enjoy!

The Cryptid Factor with Rhys Darby and Dan Schreiber. Here we go now. Running through the forest, it's Darby and tribes. I've got to be honest, it's a pretty stressful vibes. Button is back. He's stuck by the rover, Rhys is thinking shit, and Dan thinks it's over. The last thing we hear is the roar of old Biggie. Yeah, that's right, it's tricky, tricky, tricky, tricky.

Out of Hum's Way, Rhys dives for cover. It's like his favorite song, 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover. Dan catches up and hides by a tree. He says, I hate to state the obvious, but isn't there usually three? Buttons will be fine. I say, look, if there's one final wish he would have wanted, it would have been that I got away safely. Honestly, he'd be stoked that I survived to tell the tale of his horrific death.

Suddenly from nowhere, a man does appear. There's a gun at my face and he's wearing hunting gear. Hey, who the hell are you? Well, actually, I- No, don't tell me, I see. It's a geek from the library and a dork from TV. Come with me. Quickly.

This place isn't safe. The negative magnetic anomaly readings are off the charts. But I have the charts, says Dan. Well, it doesn't matter, he says. They're actually off the charts. All right, then. Buttons! yells race as loud as he can.

But all he hears back is... to be continued. Rep. 3, next week, yo. Yeah! Wow. Buttons lost. Wow. Will he be found?

Freaky. What about that hunter? Who's he? Who's that hunter, dude? Yeah, who's he? Wow. He's got our number, I tell you, Dan. He seems to know who we are.

Wow, but also, I was worried that he was just going to be there to kill the Sasquatch. But it turns out that he's into the paranormal. He knows about magnetic anomalies. Exactly. Yeah, but I mean, where are you? Did he catch you? Grill you? Get all this info out so that we would feel comfortable when we met him.

He's like, oh, you're the dorky guy and you're the TV guy. Yeah. What if that was from you? What if you blubbered in your final moments? No. Sold us out. Guess who it is? I think I know who it is.

What? I think it's me from the future. I've come back. I've come back. I survive and I come back to be able to help me survive. All right. Well, that's a good theory, but you won't find out until the episodes unfold. Yay.

Wow. So, Buttons, you survive, but then you don't contact us for the rest of your life until you're far in the future and then decide to come back for us? No. It's me now. There's going to be four of us on the podcast now. You guys mean me from this? Oh, so that's Future Buttons.

That's the guy that we quite liked from last week's podcast. Yeah. He's come back to save Buttons and to save the show because the show was about to be terrible and he's come back. Oh, these episodes are awesome. If only you were actually writing them, but unfortunately, unless you are and then you've somehow inserted them into my brain and my sleep because you're writing them from the future.

Wow. I love that the idea that we're now going to have two Buttons because my favorite comment since we've been in between last episode and tonight is from someone on our Cryptid Factor Facebook page saying they weren't even sure that there was one Buttons. So this is a message from Poppy Armstrong who wrote, am I the only person that thought Buttons was just Rhys Darby doing a funny voice? Seriously, it took me a good few episodes to realize he was a real person. Wow.

That's awesome. That is the biggest compliment I have ever had. Wow. Because guess what? I had a friend listen to the show for the first time last week as well and they thought Buttons was David Farrier. Oh, poor Farrier. Hang on, what about poor me?

Come on. Oh, that's terrible. The mysterious enigma of Buttons. Is he real? Who is he? Okay, cool. Well, that's good. Welcome back, everyone.

This is show number 62 or something like that. I'm broadcasting from Nelson in New Zealand. Very nice. Whereabouts? Grandma and Granddad's house. And where's Grandma and Granddad, Rhysie? They are up in my house in Matakana. Which is literally in another island.

It's not like they're down the road. They've come up to my island. I've come down to theirs. They call that an anti-visit, I think. Yeah, yeah. Are you guys going to be away at this point because we might come and visit you? Yes, yes, we're going to be up your way. Right, okay, so we'll come down.

Take photos of yourselves having a really nice time in their house and then put them up on their wall. So don't say we don't ever visit. Yeah, exactly. We're about to you, Dan? London, still London. Not allowed to go anywhere. Of course. Moving.

Yeah, we're still in lockdown here. But aren't things opening up? Yeah, I had a bit of an adventure this week as a result of things opening up. So I went down to Brighton to visit the crematorium where the cult magician Alistair Crowley was cremated. Wow. Yeah, do you guys know Alistair Crowley? He's that cult leader. Yeah.

So I went to this bookshop called Watkins and it's an esoteric cult bookshop. And I bought his book called The Book of the Law, which was dictated to him in 1917 by an alien from a distant galaxy, which he channeled and wrote down the message from. And it's a book that's, yeah, still in print. But I had a really odd situation because I brought it home and I remembered as I got home that Fenella has banned me from bringing in any Alistair Crowley books into my house because she believes that it's cursed and would bring bad spirits in. So I had a plan, which was I was going to sneak it around the side alley and leave it in the garden, out the back in a plastic bag and sort of visit it from time to time to give it a read.

But she caught me in the side alley and she was like, what are you doing? That's amazing. I had to come clean. Yeah. So I ended up having to call my neighbor and say, do you mind if I leave this book next with you because Fenella won't let me keep it in the house. And he said, yeah, sure. So I dropped it over there. And then I bumped into my neighbors two days later and it turns out they started getting scared about the book as well because they were like, if Fenella thinks it's cursed, yeah.

So they've now put it in the shed at the bottom of their garden because they're too afraid to keep it in the house. That is amazing. Yeah. So it's weird. It has power even though, you know, it's a mass produced book, you know, it can't be haunted. It is amazing though how objects can hold such a power that you do actually have a feeling from them. Yeah. Well, everything has energy, doesn't it?

And whether we manifest that energy ourselves or not, the energy is still there. And quite often the manifestation is from us. But yeah, that's how we give things bad juju. We do. The energy comes from us. And so if we say that's bad, then it will be bad if you buy into it. Yeah. And imagine if their house now like burnt down, I feel like that would be put on me at this point.

Yeah. I think anything that happens in their life from this point onwards can be traced back to you. So I would get that book and move it further away again. Yeah. Penella was furious that I gave them the book. She was like, that's bad neighbouring. Yeah. What are you, that's terrible giving a cursed book to a neighbour.

Wow, really? Yeah. That's amazing. Well, she has a real belief system in this. Yeah, absolutely. Maybe live on air one day if you could take your recording device out and you go out to where the book is. To the shed. And with special gloves on and open it up and do a reading from it and see what happens to us as we listen to it.

Yes. Yes. But also you might get someone of hefty religion might actually get a feeling of it and go, no, this is not good. A bit like the time the Dalai Lama landed in Christchurch. What happened there? He felt there was a bad energy. Many years ago. Really?

And I don't think he would hear he got off the plane and I'm sort of getting this information sort of hearsay from word of mouth from. Like right now you're getting in your other ear. I'm getting it. I'm getting it coming through now. I've got a guy who's reporting on it. Your other podcast, word of mouth. No, no, it's not a podcast. What it actually is and the spoons from last week is I have the technology now.

I get reported information just sense to me directly from the Internet. So as I'm talking, I'm actually getting information now. I don't need to look at things. You don't. Oh, yeah. I've signed up with a new, a new app. Internal info via Internet's. IIVI.

Was it the catchy name that attracted you to the app to begin with? Yeah. No, because I questioned it. I said, why is that? What's so good about IIVI? It kind of even doesn't even make a word. And the guy said, no, come and come and come and have a look at it. So I went into his caravan and he showed me the pamphlet and we went through it.

So what's the first I mean? And he says, you know, I can't remember what he said now. Internal. I have to go back. Can we rewind back to see what I said initially? I said that to me. He says, well, are you recording something now? Yeah.

And he says, see, it's working. And so, yeah, fast forward to where I am now. What were we talking about? The app sounds amazing. I'm just going to say the one thing I know about Alistair Crowley, just to wrap that up, is that he led the first expedition to reach the summit of K2 in 1902. He was actually a mountaineer as well. But he, so I've got helicopters going over here.

Military style. It's Reese. It's just Reese. It's just Reese. Can you guys move on? They did. They actually did. They must be using the app as well.

They're using the new IIVI. Yep. Oh, I'm actually getting, oh, I'm getting signals as to what they're up to. Oh, they're circling your place, mate. Oh, why? Why are they circling my place? Well, I think, because you've been talking about the Alex Crowley book. Oh, right.

Yeah, you've got the government now looking into where you are. No, he hasn't got the book. Hang on, I'm going to talk to them through my system. He hasn't got the book. It's Shriver's got it. In the UK. It's in a shed near his neighbors. Yeah, they should be heading off now, Leon.

I think they've got the wrong... No, well, see, they're after the Alex Crowley book. And actually, I do have that one. You've just got the shitty mountaineering one, have you? There's nothing... I'm just trying to talk to these helicopters. Shriver's got the Alistair Crowley one. I've got the Alistair Crowley, yeah.

Which is the haunted one. I've got the Alex Crowley one, which is just some dude down the road who wrote a history book about the... Helicopters. The helicopters. Well, that's why they're interested. Yeah, they want to have a read. You know, the Alistair Crowley thing where he was climbing K2,

they didn't get to the top because they'd gotten to just huge fights and they couldn't agree on how to do it. And Alistair Crowley pulled a gun out on one of the other members of the team to sort of like insist that he win the argument. And then the guy just kicked him in the balls and disarmed him as a result. So that's... Oh, that's on the side of K2. Yeah.

Do you know what's crazy though? Just speaking about like the fact that Fenella thinks the book is cursed. And I thought, you know, mass produced books. That can't be cursed, right? But there was a story in the UK when I was looking into it. Has anything mass produced said to be cursed? And there was a painting called The Crying Boy, which was by this Italian painter called Giovanni Bragglin.

And it was a painting that people would buy and just put in their house like one of those mass produced things and it was pretty popular. It was a little boy that's crying. And there was a report that came out that firefighters kept saying for houses that they had to put out that completely burnt down, the one thing that they used to find in multiple places was this painting unharmed, this mass produced painting. And suddenly everyone thought, oh my God, is that because it's cursed?

So that became a big story here in the newspapers to the point where people were sending in their paintings to go in a massive bonfire to just get rid of them all together. Wait, but they survive fires? I know. So it's weird, right? Yeah. It's pointless.

Surely maybe attach weights to them and drop them in the ocean. I think let's try that method. Yeah, exactly. Gather all those paintings, they're cursed. They survive fires. Let's put them all on fire. Well, hang on a minute. Hang on a minute, they survive the fires.

They survive. No, we'll get this to be a big bonfire. No, that's not going to work. Hey, I've got an idea. Why don't we make our firefighting suits out of the paintings? Well, you know, that's now we're thinking. Now we're thinking. Cut to a fire actually happening and a fire service turning up

and these dudes will cover in these paintings. They say, hey, you can't go in there dressed like that. What are you talking about? This is fire protected. You should have taken the frames off at least. You've got a frame attached to your head. Yeah, but your eyes are looking through the eyes of the painting. Yeah, yeah.

It's all protective. Oh, God, you look an idiot. Oh, that is awesome. You've got two versions of the painting on your shoulders. Yeah, this is the way to go now, honestly. You couldn't take the frames off? No. Listen, John, me to put your bloody fire out of what?

No, I forget it. I bloody sent the thing on fire anyway. I'm trying to get rid of that crying boy painting. That's why now you're barking up the wrong tree there, mate. You want to sink them. You want to sink them with a couple of rocks. All right. We get in there anyway and try out your new gear if you want.

I'm in here. No effect. No, well, while you're in there, go and grab that painting. It's obviously not burning. It's completely fine as well. Go and grab it. Do you want to keep the house or? Nah, fucking it's gone now.

Yeah, it's all... Everything's pretty much... Oh, hang on. Have you made everything in here out of that painting? Yeah. I see your satay and everything here is made out of... Yeah. Your TV's, mate.

Yeah. Oh, no, everything's fine, actually. It's not a single flame. Yeah, put the house out of the paintings. Oh, no, absolutely fine here. All right, I'm sorry I called you. This has been a complete waste of time. All right, let's get back to base.

All right. Hang on, I'm getting something coming through on the IIVI. Rhys Darby's doing a podcast. He wants a bit of info. He's the only one who's signed up to this app. All right, yeah, we keep getting things from him. What does he want? Oh, his microphone's not working or something.

Just tell him to switch it on. He's got to be on talking. Talking? Talking. Wait, that's a call back to the pre-show stuff. No one's going to get that. It's too late, you've said it now. Man, the people...

I want to meet the people at the other end of this app. They just must be chaos. What the hell's he talking about? He's talking about some fire-retarded painting uniform. What? How do we... I can't even Google that. What the hell do I write for that?

It's Alex Crowley. I've never heard of the guy. Who's Alex Crowley? We've got one guy that's signed up to this app, and he's an absolute idiot. He's making up words. He's nothing makes sense. I can't help him.

Why did you get a normal person that we can actually Google things for? We've got to find out what happens in Rappasode 3. We can't give up on that. Well, funnily enough, for your app, IIVI, my piece of Weekly World Weird News, which we should get into now, is pretty much that app. Oh, wow.

All right, let's do it. Let's chuck the sting in and let's do this. Okay. Weekly World Weird News. Crazy. Freaky. Watch out. Okay.

Here's my headline. Elon Musk's brain implant firm teaches monkey how to play pong with its mind. Oh, yes. Wow. Read about this. Love it. What have you got, Dan?

Mine is a headline that has emerged as a result of the passing of Prince Philip. A lot of stuff coming up about him. And it turns out that Prince Philip was an amateur UFO hunter. You can't use that news. That's going to be my UFO news. It's going to be my UFO news. I could play the UFO sting that I made.

You should have, you know, we could talk before we start the show, you know. No, it's okay. Dan, you can use it. I'm cutting through here with my power of attorney. You said the power of attorney. Who signed that over to you? Yes, because guess what?

Darby's disclosures is back. Oh, I get to play that sting. That's why the helicopters are flying around. That's why, because they must have heard me through my IVI. They know what's going on. Not only, you know, through my verbal head, but my internal head,

because they knew I'm preparing for it. So there is going to be a Darby's disclosure coming up in this episode. Therefore, UFO news has been sideshipped. Anyway, your headline, Rhys. Well, mine's truly bizarre. A woman has fallen in love with a chandelier and plans to marry it.

That's coming up very soon. Oh, wow. Including a little audio clip. So that'll be a bit of joy. But until we get there, let's dive into yours first buttons, because I'm getting a little bit of a buzzing in my ear, like the guys are ready to play it.

Oh, this is your IVI. It could just be called six. Because Roman numerals, one, one, II, that's two, and then five, which is V, and then one is take away one from what you've just added up. Is that how that works? I think so.

I think the Roman numerals IIVI don't equate to six. No. Don't they? Also, why suddenly subtract the last number? Where's that law? Or is it the other way? You subtract from the,

you start the biggest, but if there's little ones in front, so it's actually four. What? No, like if four would be IV, and six would be VI in Roman numerals. There you go. So IIV would be three.

And then add one more I after the V. No, three is just three. It's just like three, six. Very good point. This app is never going to take off with branding like this. Hang on, I'm still, I'm getting information coming through from my team. Can I have the Roman numerals?

Are you listening? Can I have the Roman numerals for IIVI? Right. Oh, those are the Roman numerals for us. Hang on. Hang on. No, I need to know what, yeah, I need to know what IIVI is in Roman numerals.

Yeah, I know they're Roman numerals. No, but what are these? Whoever's in the van, can you get your manager? Because I don't think you'll clue it up. Are you on Google? Okay, airplane mode is on. All right.

Forget it. We haven't got time anyway, mate. God, honestly, I don't know whether I've, I shouldn't have signed up to this. We can't get it out now. It's implanted, aren't you? You're stuck with it now. Well, this is the problem.

Now, can you go into your article buttons? Because I want to figure out if there's a release mechanism. So, I don't know if everybody knows, but a quick update. Elon Musk outside of SpaceX and Tesla, he also has a couple of other interesting companies, one of which is Neuralink. Neuralink is there to be able to connect computers

directly into the brain. What the Neuralink is, is basically a wireless implant that is attached to the skull with thousands of tiny wires, and they get right there into the brain, and they say it's like a Fitbit for the brain. The implant's only a coin size,

doesn't say what size coin, but it's a wee small coin, and he refers to it as human's best chance at fighting against AI. That's further down the track. At the moment, their goal is to enable a person with paralysis to use a computer or phone

with their brain activity alone as well. To prove this, they have gotten a monkey, and they have implanted a Neuralink into a monkey. And so, what's the most fundamental way you can show that somebody's controlling a computer is the game of Pong. And if we fast-track a little bit,

this is obviously what is in Reese's head at the moment, enabling the IIVI. So he's playing Pong with his head, the monkey. Yeah, he's playing it. There's a little video. Do you want to see the little video? Yeah, please. So just to clarify, there's no joystick.

He's just literally thinking how to move the cursor bat to hit the ball. Hit the ball. And as he thinks, it moves where he thinks. That's exactly right. And they trained him with this by using... See, he's sucking on a straw. Yeah.

Which is filled with basically a... Caramel milkshake. Hang on, he's got a joystick there. Yeah, he's got a joystick. Yeah, he's got a joystick. Okay, so he's not using his mind. They've released the uncropped video. They should have cropped that, yeah.

And now he's just eating a banana. So what I've seen him do is suck a straw, use a joystick, and eat a banana. And how much are we paying for this? But there's a screen there. Hang on, I'm talking to the guy in the trailer here. All right. So why didn't you show me that in the pamphlet?

Right, because it's a video. Okay, but you could have talked to me about that before you inserted it in my brain. All last night while I was sleeping, you could think about it was playing pong. I'm not even interested. There's better video games than that. It's the same one you've put in the monkey's brain, yeah?

Well, you could have upgraded. I mean, I'm not as thick as... What sort of chimp is that? Is that a Reese's monkey? Literally you. Can we get to the bottom of what sort of monkey this is? Because I think it's the same species as me. He's literally using a joystick.

Don't get it. He's still using the joystick. What is the mind coming to it? That was a different one. He's like, why don't you get it? I thought I had a great history. He's like, oh, man. And you had a good solid like five minutes

of awesome explanation that just had me and Reese's grit. And then this. No, it's a different one. Look, the text on the screen says that it's the monkey's brain that coordinate hand and arm movement. That's how the brain works. That's how it works, yeah. No wonder when I signed up to IIVI,

the guy gave me a joystick. I was like, what do I need that for? He said, trust me, when you use your mind, you might want to plug this in as well, because it'll actually make it work. Oh, man. I'd be fully head. Wait, so has Elon Musk just worked out

that you can move your hands because the brain tells you to? Is that his latest discovery here? There's a coin on the back of the brain to make it happen. He's just like, sellotape the coin. And he goes, no, it works real better. You put the coin on and the joystick moves better. This is yet again just another way

of people trying to get rid of their coins. What's that coin on the back of your head? Oh, yeah, I'm a big gamer. I'm into gaming. Play Pong. Get your coins. Coins and joysticks. There must be a reason for that. It literally says, Elon Musk says this monkey is playing Pong with his mind

over a video. He's just taken the piss now. He makes remarks. Yeah, we are in some ways. Well, this is the thing. Elon Musk just shoots from the hip right and he just says crazy shit. With his laser guns.

With his laser guns. But the company comes out and says, you know, it's for people who don't have the use of their body but need to have control of their mind. Then Musk comes out at the end and he says, oh, also it's feasible to use it as a save state for the brain. And it's like, what's a save state?

He says, so it's if you were to die, your state of mind could be returned to the form of another human body or a robot body. You could decide if you want to be a robot or a person or whatever so that it takes all the data from your brain. Yeah. Brilliant.

Immortality. Immortality. So that's like your saved game. So if you're playing a video game, which is what we all are, let's say that this whole world is a matrix that we're playing. It's like a checkpoint in a video game. So when your character dies,

you just reboot and you come back to that point. What an amazing idea. And you can choose whatever tower you want to be. I'm sick of being this human body. I want to come back as a dragon. All right. Well, that's fine. But just to let you know, your save point,

you were in a library. It's where you hit your heart attack. You're going to come back to that very same point. All right. But you're going to be a dragon now. It's going to be quite horrific for those around because you were actually reading stories to the little kids in the library.

Why did I die doing that? You were shocked by the book. Must have been a very shocking book. It was Alex Crowley's book. Alex Crowley. That's a terrible point to reboot because once you reboot and then you go, I'm back.

What was I doing? Oh, I was reading this great Alex Crowley book. And then you have a heart attack again. And you're just in a loop every time you come back. That sometimes does happen in video games. Well, no, but do you know the even worse thing that could happen? You have one of these inserted,

the little coin on the back of the head and it saves all your information. And you die in the hospital. And you know, the nurse comes out and saves all the effects. You know, here's the clothes from your father buttons and his is coin for that has all his neurological data to reboot him.

And on the way home, the coin gets lost. It like falls off the old jacket that you had and bounces on the road. Look at the supermarket. You put it in the trolley. And then for the rest of your life, people don't realize this coin they're using

to buy their groceries and pay for their parking and what have you is actually your brain. And they're going to spend the rest of your life jingling around in people's pockets. So what they should do buttons and I think you should email Elon Musk about this is make sure the coin isn't minted

in a way that looks exactly like a New Zealand actual coin. That's a good idea. 20 cent piece. That's a good idea. Yeah, you want to come into this nightclub it is a gold coin entry. Oh, well, I've actually,

the only coin I've got is buttons brain. Do you mind having that? Absolutely no probes. I'm just going to chuck that into the soda machine. All the information in his brain. Two bucks. But that's an amazing idea because there will be so many coins

after, you know, hundreds of years where families don't need them anymore. They give them away and there would be like a trading thing, kind of like Pogs. We're like, I'll give you my three coins for your one Alex Crowley's coin. I love his books. And what you could do is whilst you're waiting

for the robotics to be good enough, you could just put it into a Tamagotchi and it'd be like bleep bleep bleep. Dad wants feeding. No, he's shouting himself again. Try not to kill them. Oh, he's getting bored. He wants to play a game.

Bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep. Oh, he's, what's he saying? Bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep. Oh, he's annoyed that I'm at his place. All right, now look on that note, let's get into something even more ridiculous. I have this story here about a woman who is planning to marry a chandelier.

I mean, would you believe it? So who names Amanda Liberty and she previously had a relationship with a drum kit, but now she intends to marry a chandelier. Now I've got a little video here, so check this out. Hello, my name is Amanda Liberty. I'm in love with chandeliers and I'm making a commitment to my favourite one, Lumiere.

Love you. Wow. I first fell in love with chandeliers three years ago when I walked into an antique shop and saw a lunar over there looking at me and then just had to have her. And from then my love for them has blossomed into something totally amazing

and something I never realised or imagined could ever happen to me. Wow. When I first saw Lumiere, she was in Germany on eBay in Germany and it was the shape of her arms that first drew me to her. I love everything about her, she's so unusual. Now over my three years and before that

I've seen thousands, tens of thousands of chandeliers and not one of them comes close to her in terms of how they look, you know. I've not found another one that looks like her. Wow. So why I think this is important is because as we evolve as humans, we are now, and I'm seeing this more and more,

we are falling in love with inanimate objects, which leads me to believe that this could be the way things are going in terms of us getting confused about what actual love is and also finding love coming back from something that really can't give it, you know, an object, which means that the closer we actually get to becoming robots,

this is more relevant. Yeah. God, it's suck if we get down that road and you know, if you've got a jealous partner, like usually you need humans in the room for them to feel jealous of, but if you're walking into a room and every object is something that they're like,

are you flirting with that cabinet? Are you giving an eye to that kind of coke? Yes. That's the thing and how do you, like if she does walk into another store and sees another even more gorgeous chandelier. What happens? Yeah.

How do you divorce the other? She's fallen in love with the personality of it now as well, right? Like probably when she first saw it on eBay, she probably thought it was a lustful thing and that love's turned into love. It's a love, but then can you have an affair if you have lust for a different one? I think so.

You know, there's a real worry in her going to some fancy castle or a beautiful mansion full of chandeliers and light fittings that are quite extravagant. I mean, her eyes are just going to be wandering and that's a dangerous zone for her. So I recommend definitely not doing that, but also I wonder, can she take the love of her life with her?

Oh, that'd be so dangerous. Oh yeah. And also what if she trips over and it's more mobile than the woman who fell in love with the tree. She married a tree. She did. At least you can tell you.

But imagine, you know when you're calling a hotel and you've got requests like, can we have a baby cot in the room? We've got a baby. Her request of like, look, my partner and I are coming. Just wondering if we can have a hook that can hold about 12 kgs of weight

in the centre of the room. It's the only way he can sleep. Is he a vampire? No, no, he's not a vampire, but he does hang from the ceiling. But also, Rhys, I think there's a great opportunity here for your app,

if you could just have a chat to your IIVI guys, because if they're looking to develop another app, a dating app for humans and objects. And so it's basically just stuff, objects to fall in love with and get married with, like Tinder. Are you guys hearing that? So yeah, a dating app for humans and objects.

Oh, right. Yeah, they're Amazon. Okay, that's already there. But think about it. They might have a point like Amazon. Yeah, well eBay. That's where she met the chandelier. Trade me Etsy.

Oh, now they're just literally, yeah, you're just Googling these, are you? Etsy, yep, there's all these. So basically what they're saying is any app where we find objects, like Edmund Hillary's new store. What, Whitkills, just bookshops. Okay, you're just rattling off anything now.

Supermarkets, okay. Anything where there's objects. You know, the reason, let's take Amazon for example, we click on there more often than anything really. Especially if they can deliver to your country. You're basically falling in love with things that you find on screen and you're just like, order it, you know, and it comes to you.

And there's a sense of love there. There's a sense of what? Yeah. That is love. That's true. You know, it's a small version of it. Yeah, if you're a collector, say you're collecting old toys

and you find a new old toy. That's love. Yeah, and you put it in your cabinet and you go, there is a real connection there, right? And you go, ah, there's no reason for me to love this rusty old toy. No practical reason. But just no difference to the fact

that that spooky book is something that you want out of your house because it's got bad juju, something with good juju you want in your house. And this woman's just taking it one step further and going, I love it so much. Yeah. I'm going to marry it.

Yeah. I think that's brilliant spot by Reese about the floor in your Tinder app for objects is that in order for a match to happen, the objects need some kind of sentience to be able to swipe right or left themselves. So you would just be on this app having swiped right on so many things

and just no one's matching with you. How awkward would it be if you're fallen in love with a lamp, but the lamp has said no? All the lamp photos, by the way, like a lamp petting a tiger, a lamp on a beach. Yeah.

Snorkeling. Yeah. And then you go out on the date and the bright snow is as bright as what it was on the photo. It's like, I've been catfished by a lamp. Yeah.

It's got a red bulb in. Oh, it was a prostitute. Damn it. Look, I don't want to be picky, but look, if I can take you away from prostitution lamp, honestly, if I can just unscrew your bulb,

put in a regular bulb, something with a soft glow, whatever you want, but just honestly, you don't, you want to keep doing the tricks. Okay. Well, I'm going to drop you off

down in that dark alley then. Yeah. I know that's where I got you from. Movies of the future. Pretty lamp. But that's what Sting was singing about with Roxanne.

With Roxanne, yeah. You don't have to turn on your red light. Roxanne. Roxanne. Yeah. He was singing to his lamp. He was dating a lamp. Yeah.

Roxanne was a lamp. Didn't know that great fact. Hey, by the way, you know, speaking of you mentioning that a lady married a tree. Yeah. Just today,

I met with my family to queue gardens, which is this awesome garden in the UK and London. And as we were walking along, her arms wrapped around a giant tree, hugging it for two minutes solid. She looked so in love with this tree. And then she moved away from it

and she was staring up at it and she started stroking it with this big smile on her face. Wow. And I was like, I want to do that now. I want to go and give it a hug. It just felt so full of love.

You know what you should have done though? You should have gone up to that lady and gone, excuse me. Yeah. Excuse me. Are you that? I'm married to that tree. Do you mind?

Get your hands off my wife. You can't just go up to my wife and put your arms round her like that and start stroking her. Yes, she's in a public field, but this is my wife. We're looking at her here. Oh, man.

It is interesting. As you say, you know, is that where we're headed? Yeah. I think more and more because also, you know,

human relationships are really tricky and they more often than not, these days, you know, don't last. It's hard work put into it. Some do survive and all of ours are fine, but, you know,

as these younger generations are coming through, you've got to question whether they will fall for objects. Do you? No, I'm just getting a little signal

here. No, you don't. You don't. So I've gone off track. Oh, these guys and the guy in the van is just telling me to be quiet there. Well,

why do you get an opinion on what I'm thinking? Is you a part of me? Well, that's, I don't remember signing up to that. My opinions are mine. Yeah.

Okay. No, all right. Well, it's under a copyright. Is it? Okay. Well, I'm parent. I have to think what he thinks now, too.

He's taken over just your general thinking. No, I don't want to play Pong right now. No, I ain't even got the joystick on me. All right. So I just had a quick game of Pong here, guys.

You carry on. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

What is going on? What's the point of signing up to this thing if it's not even genuine? It's not even valid. It's not even valid. You've signed up to a non-valid service. Okay, you go, Dan. Yeah, so my story this week is about Prince Philip and the fact that post his death a few stories have been revealed that he was in fact someone who had huge interest in UFOs. And in fact, an official biographer called Philip Eid wrote about this in his book saying that he was struck by the revelation that Prince Philip once sent off his right hand man to go meet an extraterrestrial humanoid at a house in Ealing London. And what supposedly what his interest was is there were a lot of UFO sightings that RAF pilots were reporting.

He used to subscribe to a magazine called Flying Saucer Review. Anytime books came out on UFOs, they would be sent to him and he would have them in his library. So there's apparently a big library of ufology books sitting in his shelves in Windsor Castle or wherever he kept his books. This is all what we're told, but it feels like there's a lot of people talking about it. I can hear a lot of them in my ear now. Oh, now you're now you switched on. OK, you're interested in what Dan's got to say. Carry on, Dan. Sorry. So he used to bring people to the palace who had these encounters to tell him directly what the encounters were.

And his thought was they would buckle if they were lying because they were speaking directly to royalty. So he would almost believe their story more when they told him in person. What I was really excited about this story is that one of the people who's come up in all these stories as someone that he had correspondence with is a guy called Timothy Good. And I actually met Timothy Good years ago when I did my UFO documentary for Channel 4 and interviewed him. And he wrote a very seminal book called Above Top Secret. Oh, yeah, that one. And this was a book that kind of set him out to be the Fox Mulder of the UFO world. He kind of exploded the idea that you could be an amateur reporter, basically a sleuth trying to uncover documents and so on.

That's a great book. So he's the guy who told me that Jesus was an alien and that he believes that there is green fields on the far side of the moon. And he had a photo of it up on his wall. And he always said in the interview he has correspondence with high top level people. What he didn't tell me at the time was one of those people was Prince Philip. And so he actually included in this book. So, you know, we're saying this is sort of revelations, but this book was published back in the 90s. And page 39, H.R.H. Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh, there's a whole section about his interest in ufology.

And then it goes on to a section about Lord Mountbatten, who wasn't his dad. His uncle. It was his uncle. Yeah. Yeah. And his mentor. He was massively obsessed with it and also recorded a staff member on his land reporting that he saw a UFO come out of the sky. And Mountbatten actually wrote it down and submitted that as evidence to the field of ufology.

So there's a huge within the Royals. There is a lot of people who were basically investigating the UFO phenomenon, including Prince Charles, apparently, and even William has an interest in it. That does not surprise me at all. Good to hear, though. And I wonder if they know some secrets that the regular public don't. Well, there are people out there who are saying that he had interest in it because they're lizard people and that they are actually aliens themselves. I wonder what he thought of that. Yeah.

I wonder if he brought into that idea. Yeah. Well, we're lizards. We're lizards people. Well, I do believe in the lizard people. And the lizard people. Am I one of them? I think I might be.

I think I might be. What am I, 1999? There was a recording there. Is that a recording? That's amazing. Yeah, that was just that came through my IIVI. Oh, well, that's incredible. It was one of his last recordings.

Your research team are doing incredibly well. That was a good quick pluck. That was a real quick pluck. I'm just letting him know. Yeah, no, nice work there. You could have had a better ending to it. Oh, that's when it just right. They ran out of internet.

You've now got no more information for the rest of the month. They hit their data cap. This is fascinating. And I think I think, Dan, if you don't mind, I'd like to go into Darby's Disclosures, which I think a lot of the listeners are very excited to. Welcome back into the show. And for those new listeners, this is a segment that actually ended up shutting down the show a couple of years ago. So it's, it's, it's quite dodgy. And the fact that we've had helicopters out admittedly in the wrong location today, but certainly listening in does make this a big rest.

It's a big rest, but also there's a couple of rules about Darby's Disclosures. First of all, it's Darby's Disclosures. Dan and I aren't allowed to be a part of Disclosure. It's sort of like now we're leaving the whole show. There's a new show starting. This is the cryptic vectors over. This is a whole new show that's about to begin. It's great to catch up with you guys anyway.

And you might be around after this. I don't know if you're not. Maybe I won't be either because anything could happen in the next five minutes. Exactly. And the other part of Darby's Disclosures is it has a professional voiceover. Oh, yes. Or is it from Ancient Aliens? Yeah.

Voice of a guy. Your show, within our show, is way more professional than the show that your show is a part of. I know you're a big fan of Darby's Disclosures. You guys, it's your favorite show. I love it. I think you should set up a Patreon for it so we can. All right, let's get into it. Good luck with it, mate.

Have a good show. What are you guys going to do now for a while? You're just going to sit back. I'm going to go get a neurolink. I'm going to go just quickly to the IIVI shop. There should be a van outside on your street because I used my mind to tell them. It's an old Bedford van with IIVI on the side of it. Okay.

And make sure you grab the joystick because I didn't get mine. All right, here it is. Is it possible that Rise Darby came from another star system and has been visiting Earth for millions of years? Ancient astronaut theorists say yes. Darby's Disclosures. The truth is inside. Now it's out there.

Hello, listeners. I'm Reese Darby. Welcome back to everyone's favorite show, Darby's Disclosures. Well, here's the latest. The Pentagon has now confirmed that a leaked video of a UFO that recently surfaced is legitimate. That's right. I'm talking about the flying pyramids taken by a United States Navy pilot

off the coast of San Diego back in July 2019. The 18 second long video shows three pyramid shaped UAPs. That's right. Yeah, you know me. UAPs. Flying. Wait, I can hear some laughter there. I hope those guys thought I heard someone.

What's that? Is this still on? No. Hey, I can hear a voice. So yeah, the 18 second long video shows three pyramid shaped UAPs in brackets, UFOs flying in a peculiar manner. Okay. I want you guys to check this out.

Which guys? You want which guys to check this out? Because we're not here. My audience, not you two. I know because I'm not even here. I'm not even here. Now, I'm going to edit a lot of this out. I'm going to get my team to edit through this.

Who's your team again? Because I might get them to edit the cryptid factor as well. Hang on. All right. Check this out. Let's release this video that was taken by the U.S. Navy. He says that this is the best UFO video that has ever been released to the public. But there are a lot more questions in our answers.

Who are they? Where are they from? And what is their intent? All questions that immediately come to mind with a mention of UFOs. We are now at a tipping point. It is time to let the public know what is known. No matter how big or small, what is known about the UFO presence on planet Earth? LA based investigative filmmaker Jeremy Corbell recently released this video

taken by the Navy, showing what he describes as pyramid shaped UFOs flying over the USS Russell off the San Diego coast in July of 2019. See those? UFOs are real. They're flying with impunity within our restricted airspace. They represent an advanced and sophisticated technology. And it's a technology that requires scientific scrutiny and study. The Pentagon has since confirmed that the video is authentic.

It's part of a recent data dump by Corbell, an investigative reporter George Knapp. These pictures were taken by a pilot in March of 2019, apparently showing three different UFOs. Two have since been dubbed the metallic blimp and the sphere. Corbell says these images from a Navy ship show a UFO seamlessly traveling through air and water. The astonishing thing about it was its trans-medium characteristic. Meaning it was able to breach or penetrate the air to see barrier without destruction.

We don't have vehicles that can do that at high velocity where it can go from flying into the water. The goal is to expand the conversation about UFOs and demand transparency from the American government. I don't know what it is we're seeing, but what I do know is that we should find out. And this is the role that the Department of Defense needs to play. The script has flipped.

And people are now taking this seriously and eliminating the unnecessary ridicule that has stigmatized the UFO topic. And you know, we may get some answers very soon. The U.S. government actually set to release a report. The thing I love most about that article. We're not in this. Sorry. Just on UFOs this upcoming June,

some people believe that it's going to show there have been a lot more sightings than have been made public in the past. We're putting live in El Segundo, Chelsea Edwards, Alex Christine. Back to you. So there we have it. And also I did pause it there just to see if anyone else was listening in. And they were. So Buttons, you've been caught.

I wasn't listening. I was just watching something else. Trying to take part in my show. Trying to comment. And you're doing it now. This show is still going. You're not supposed to be here. Sorry listeners.

So there we have it. And that of course was from Fox 11. And no doubt some of you have seen these pyramid shaped UFOs. UAPs. Here's my question. Why pyramids? And why was that lady doing the report from outside of an apartment complex?

Is that what your question was? Excuse me. Sorry listeners. Buttons, is that you butting in again? No, I'm just talking to Dan about a different video that we just watched. Okay. And then she was in a car during the interview. And she was in a car in the interview.

Listen, and I'm letting you guys back into the show now. Here's the thing. Maybe she went to the Buttons Kirk Beck Journalism School where you do things on the fly on your way I know we don't want to be part of the show. We're doing our own show. I don't want to be part of the show. Our show is a commentary show on your disclosure show.

Okay. I'm just going to go back to my show. Hang on a second. Okay. I love it when he does the noises. Oh, it's so good. It's always a good episode when the noise is coming. Oh God, he's lost again.

Look, are you guys in the van just playing games? Because I'm doing this is one of my most successful shows here. This is Derby's. Yeah. Yeah. You've got it. All right. Typical.

I joined up with IIVI and the guy's not even into UFOs. He's not interested. It doesn't matter. I don't care that you're not interested. This is my thing. I'm into it. So you better get into it. Softball.

I'm not interested in that. All right. So I'm just having a little argument with my bloody guy inside my head here. You've become a co-joined brain. It's not good. I'm going to get out of this. I'm telling you, this is the last time I'm using IIVI. This is like a Black Mirror episode within our podcast.

It's great. Yeah. Okay. Now he wants me to carry on, finish this other bit. All right. So there we have it. Why? This is the first time that I know of that we've brought up flying pyramids.

Because we've had triangle craft. We've had cigar-shaped craft. We've had, obviously, the sources. But pyramids now? Why are we suddenly now getting flying pyramids? Well, the video was very much 2D, wasn't it? We saw a triangle, basically. So I couldn't work out where they sort of saw the pyramid-y bit of it.

Because it's sort of in your head, it sounds ancient Egyptian, doesn't it? These flying pyramids. I know. It gets exciting. But it also is like, oh, what are they going to want? Hey, let's go. We haven't had any bloody pyramids flying yet. Let's get those going.

Let's get the pyramids going. Yeah. Oh, I wouldn't think of that earlier. Well, we did the triangles. We've now got the software where we can make them look more pyramid-shape. When we throw those down into the matrix of the Earth. Yeah. Hey, look, one of those UFOs is in the middle of the video right now.

Exactly. It's two. It's a pyramid. I want you to play that video. Do you mind hitting the pyramid button? Hit the pyramid button. I'm going to hit the stop share button because you're mocking one of the best parts of my show, which is the accurate video footage.

But we're doing our show on top of your show. This is Darby's Disclosures exposures. Darby's Disclosures exposures. Oh, that's brilliant. You should hear the sting for that one. Oh, man. I can't wait. Who are we going to get?

William Shatner. Yes. Anyway, just to sum up, just before we finish this segment. So news is going to come out in June. June's the big month, guys. We're going to get more exposure from Darby's Disclosure. And I've said this before, and this is what shut down everything initially. It was that this could be the year.

And I think I said this a couple of years ago. But I now am going to say that this is the year that the truth comes out. That's like the Mayan calendar people going, oh, no, no, no. No, there was, sorry. Well, I know we said last year, this year, but no, it was, it's next year. It's this year, next year. Yeah. This is what happens.

It's like, no, it's flood. Yeah, everyone's in the water. And people say, well, is this the flood? I thought you said it was going to be next year. No, it's now. This is it. Are you on the boat? No, I'm just, I'm hanging onto a tree here because I thought this wasn't the big one.

No, this is the big one. You should have built the boat like I did. Oh, no. It's off. It's only animals anyway on my craft. So this is the actual flood. Yeah, this is the one. This is the actual flood.

That's an actual recording. Shit, IIVI, you've done well there. How old is that recording? That's biblical, man. That is biblical. All right, back to our normal show. We're going to squeeze in some cryptozoology before we get out of here. Attention, all personnel, it's time for this week's cryptid.

Help me. Okay, what do we got? You got anything? No, I can't find anything. I had one thing, but I can't. Hang on, I've got my link shut down. Let me try and bring it back up. All right, I've got some.

Oh, what do you got? Okay. Nothing? Yeah. No, I'll do it. I just want it. Uh-huh. You can't find the joystick.

Look. You've only got the one. You've set up this app. Oh, because I'm the only guy who's bought into it. And you didn't even give me the joystick. You've got it, but now you've lost it. God, hang on. Why isn't this link working?

Well, we do have to quickly mention a story that's been sent to us by multiple people, which was a supposed cryptid upper tree. Oh, yeah. Yeah, we've got to mention this one. You're right, Dan. Mystery tree beast turns out to be a croissant. Now, this was sent to us by many of the cryptid knights. So we've got to chat about it.

When animal welfare officers received a report of an unusual animal lurking in a tree in the Polish city of Kraków, they were not sure what to expect. People aren't opening their windows because they're afraid it will go into their house, the woman reportedly said. But a visit to the area showed the creature in question was not a bird or even a reptile, but a croissant. I mean, the fact that this happened, this is crazy. And this has reached all news networks, including the BBC, which I'm reading it off right now.

It's amazing. Yeah, the Kraków Animal Welfare Society said the incident was genuine. Writing on Facebook, the organization said its officers had asked the desperate caller whether the unidentified animal, which had been in the tree for two days, could be a bird of prey. The woman responded that it looked more like a lagoon, which is similar to a lagooner, Polish for lagoon. What?

A lagoon? Before remembering the correct word was leguan. So she got the word wrong. Leguan means iguana. So she, but first of all, she's telling the people that it's a lagoon. So she's got a word, so people are thinking, so you're telling me there's a body of water in the tree that you think is a creature? No, no, leguan, iguana.

Okay. So although the inspectors knew that it was unlikely that a reptile would survive the cool spring temperatures in the southern Polish city, okay, there's no, there's no reptiles there. And they wondered if the animal could have been an unwanted pet, you know, abandoned by its owners. Arriving on the scene, however, the inspectors found the headless and limbless object in the tree, a pastry, probably thrown out of the window to feed the birds.

That is, it's clearly such a slow news week for crypto zoology. We're in the biz that not only the guys at IIVI, but also all of the tribrarians, the button-downers and the research, the best that the BBC can come up with for monster news. There's a croissant out of window. Wow. That's so funny. That has to be said, because that was a very, very funny, just the headline alone on that. And the fact that it really did spread around the world on all the major networks.

It's a goodie. Now, of course, there are many other cryptid sightings, as is the way every week. A lot of them get reported, a lot don't. There's more big cat sightings. Two big cat sightings reported on an abandoned golf course, guys. Wow. It is described as a large black animal with a very long tail. And the witness says, I can tell you now this was no dog.

Yeah, because it was a cat. Yeah. So there's a couple of sightings. The first one took place on the evening of March 23rd by a man walking his dog. So I'm sure the sighting wasn't of his own dog. This chap says, in the light, on the brow of the hill, I could see a long, dark figure. My dog is a doberman, and that must have sensed something, but it cowered. It wouldn't move.

Okay, so the dog that he was walking just suddenly froze. Wow. As quick as I got my phone out, it ran over the other side of the hill. I was close enough to see how long the tail was and can tell you now this was no dog. I can't quite believe it. Never believed in this stuff, but I know exactly what I saw. I definitely saw a black cat. So that's exciting.

The next incident occurred in the early morning of March 29th. Stuart Evans was walking along the canal, approaching the Country Park near Mollington Bannister Hotel, and there was another sighting then. Wow. On the Big Cat News, whilst I have been here in the South Island, I managed to go to the place where a big cat was seen here. In Hamna, we reported on this a few shows ago. Oh, yes.

In Hamna, Big Cat. Yeah, so there's one here in New Zealand. So I went to the very location with my good friend Mike Boone, who's a contributor to the show. So he was keen to go on this Big Cat hunt with me, and I actually, I'm going to put the video up on the Patreon because we did walk on the same tracks that the eyewitnesses of the Big Cat walked upon, and we found a couple of things. So that's going to come out on the Patreon, but just for you guys here who are listening

to this show, I'm going to give you a little, little excerpt. So here we are, just about to enter Dogstream Reserve, and we're going to find the location where a Big Cat was seen earlier this year. Rhys Darby and Mike Boone. Oh, hello. On the case. Are we here? No.

Our area. There. Okay, we're there. So we want to get to up into the trails here somewhere, don't we? Now, which road, did you say, was where the cat was seen? I think it was Perseverance Track. So if we turn right and go into the track, we might be. Lost.

Yeah. We want to start keeping our eyes open now. I mean, this is perfect sort of terrain for cats. Hungry Big Cats. Lots of kids. I think we're not quite deep enough into the bush yet. Have you guys seen any cats? No, if I was there, I wouldn't have talked to strangers.

They did the right thing. Oh, look at this. We've just noticed right here is the track Perseverance. And this is the one where the sighting was those many months ago. So let's might not take the same track and see if there's, you know, cats often return to their own hunting grounds. I may have just made that up, but it sounded good. Last chance.

There. There. What is that? That's a cat. Come on. Oh, it's huge. It's amazing. It's so blurry.

I love it. Yeah. And look, you can see how huge it is compared to the bins. Yeah, those bins are tiny. Bits. Yeah, the new tiny bit. Yeah. Oh, thank God.

So that's all of that's going to be up on the Patreon. There's the exciting visuals there. Mike Boone and Rhys Darby's ABC Hunt in Hamna. Wow. That's amazing. I mean, I have to say it's worth joining the Patreon just to see Mike Boone's face. What a cool dude. That was a rockin' look.

If anybody can pull off a crypto zoologist look, that's Mike Boone. Oh, absolutely. Very cool. Wow. Yeah. And just to finish the show this week, we are going to go to Notice Board, which is something we used to play. Oh, yes.

I've got something for the Notice Board too. Great. Notice Board. Did you notice it? No, I got board. Notice Board. First on the Notice Board, and this is very important. We are doing a live show in the New Zealand Comedy Festival.

Yeah, that's the three of us. Dan will be via Skype. And so those of you that are listening in New Zealand, please come to the actual show. It's on the 12th of May, and it's at Q Theatre in Auckland. So it's a rather large theatre. We're hoping there'll be a couple of people in the seats. It doesn't really matter if there's no one there because we are just broadcasting it live. It doesn't matter.

We're recording a podcast. We're just doing another show. But it would be a fantastic opportunity to fill those 300 seats. And we're also going to live stream to the Patreon people. Our lovely Cryptid Knights. You Cryptid Knights, you're going to be able to see that show on the Patreon. And for those who've just got the podcast, of course, we are going to be recording it. So it will come out as a podcast the following week, I imagine.

Something like that, right? Yeah. May 12th, everyone. Put that in your calendars now. And should we put a link on the Cryptifactive Facebook page and the Patreon to buy tickets, right? Yeah, there's already a link up there now on the Instagram site. As I say, it's in New Zealand. So only our New Zealand fans will be able to come to their live show.

But the rest of you will be able to hear it and see it via the internet in some way, shape or form. Yay! Very exciting. This will be the first gig I've done with you guys. Very excited for that. Yeah. Even though I won't be there. The first gig that you haven't done with us.

It's awesome. It'll be great not to see you there, Dan. Did you have something else for the NB? Super quick. So that was for New Zealanders. This is for Englanders. And this is Noticing. This is the Noticing Board.

I noticed something. And I'm asking for the listeners to notice as well. Which is that British scientists have called out to the public to try and help them find 15 lost trees in the UK. Somebody dropped them. You sure these aren't just trees that have just left their partners? They've been married to humans and they've just gone, I'm baggering off. I'm sorry. A lady came up to me the other day and gave me a big hug.

I quite like her. I'm going back to her place. These are 15 trees that would have been grown from 15 seeds that were part of 400 to 500 seeds that were taken to space known as the moon trees. These are trees that circled the moon 34 times, came back to Earth and were distributed to different countries where they grew them to see how they would grow having spent time out of gravity and in outer space. Now 15 of these are said to be in the UK. It's worth adding that there's no evidence that 15 ever came to the UK. So what British scientists are asking is to look out for trees that they don't even know if necessarily have been grown at all in this country. It's a big ass.

That's like going to the Lost and Found and saying, now look, I lost a watch. I'm just wondering if you've got it, but I'm not sure if I ever owned the watch, but I'm pretty sure I lost it here. Can you check your Lost and Found? Look, I've looked in the bucket. All I've got is a joystick here. Hang on, it's got something on it. I-I-V-I. Auckland, New Zealand.

You can have that, mate. Does it enable me to be able to control Rhys Darby by any chance? Yeah, with your mind. I'll reply that into him, and he's all yours. Yeah, so that's the news. There's the Royal Astronomical Society and the UK Space Agency. Supposedly you're trying to find them. Wow.

How would people go about looking for them? How would they look different, I wonder? So the trees specifically are a sycamore, a loblolly pine, and other varieties. So if you just look for those three. What? You want to- you want to plug into him? Oh, okay. Dan, my I-I-V-I team have sick of me. Oh, sycamore.

I'm getting confused here, but they- They're sick of you more. They like your tree thing, so they're asking if they can plug into you. This is for you. G'day, guys. Hello. You got some dude in a van talking to you now? Yeah, I do love Pong.

Oh, no, that's cool. He's big fan of Alex Crowley, too. No, we're going to get on great. Oh, great. I'm really glad. Great to pass that on. Well, fantastic show. Why don't you give him to me?

He didn't want you. He wanted Dan's mind. He wasn't interested in yours. He asked for me. Well, but I had really good news, too. No, it was the tree- it was the mindfuck with the trees, the seeds that weren't seeds. I think he liked all that shit, so he's gone to Dan. But I created him with my Neuralink story.

He only exists because of my actual news. He doesn't like the news that created him. No, he's- I've got to be scared of you, because you created him. Dan is gone. All right, guys. See you next week, guys. Bye, guys. Bye, bye, bye. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.