The Cryptid Factor - 63: #063 The Paradox Issue

Episode Date: June 23, 2021

Episode 63 is here at last! 'Rapisode 4' kicks it all off with an almighty bang, closely followed by Rhys telling tales of Whales eating Lobstermen,  Dan teaching superhuman 'Batman' skills, and Buttons paradoxing his way to no friends. Lots of exciting (and global!) Bigfoot news to boot!

The Cryptid Factor, with Rhys Darby and Dan Shriver. The hunting man leads us, back to his hut. I take one look outside before the heavy door is shut. Look at these readings, he says to geeky Dan. What sort of readings? Cause I'm not a Bible man. He's not. I button. He's more into Alistair Crowley. There's a hrrrrrr from outside. Yes it's getting really growly. This guy's got computers and an anomaly screen.

I says, what's your tracking Willis? He says things that can't be seen. There's a gateway to their world. They come here for hunting. I attract them with peanut butter scones and I hang up some bunting. Oh wow! We've got to save buttons. I say straight away. But a researcher has actually texted me after deciphering the Morse code from last week's episode and it reads, hey I'm okay. Then we suddenly see a face pop up on the screen.

It's buttons, yells Dan. But what, what, what do you mean? Says the hunter. This can't be so. That camera feed is coming from another dimension, you know. Say what? What you talking about, Hunter? Find out more next week on episode four, dudes. On the way! Oh wow! I'm in another dimension! What is going on? This is so exciting!

I just can't believe we saw you on the screen. I just also can't believe that there's different strokes references in there. Two of them! Not one! Two different strokes references! Oh that is meta! Oh my God! This is, this is, wow! It's weird, right? And now I'm really, really hungry for a peanut butter scone. Yeah, well that's how we attracts them and he hangs up bunting.

Which I thought was lovely. The imagery. I mean when they turn this into a TV series, you can imagine it. I tell you what. It's all designed. You're like a set designer and storyteller at the same time. Yeah, when I go into Warner Brothers and I pitch this by rapping at them, they're going to have a visual feast as to how it's going to be put together. And it's going to be the only rap pitch I think that's done for a cryptozoological drama series. I mean none of those things have been done.

Well it's very exciting to be back together guys. It's been over a month since we sat and did this, but of course in between all of that was a live show. Yes. It took us that long to get over it. It actually really did. It really did. It was amazing. It was an amazing experience. And if anyone is not part of our Patreon, sign up so that you can watch it. It was like a disaster movie, but we brought it home. It was Apollo 13. Yeah, what it really was.

That very much is it. And you know what? The beautiful thing is that the amount of people that after the show came up to me were like all of those technical blunders. They were all pre-rehearsed and planned weren't they? And I was like... Well that's the thing. I was like... Yeah, what'd you say? I was like of course. Of course we're that good.

We can act it out. I think your blunders are that good that they look almost fake. They're too good to be real. And I think that's one of your gifts. I just don't know if that's a compliment or not. No, but it worked. It worked almost. And I think that's... You've got to take your tinfoil hat off to you, man, because we also managed to get one of the great adventurer explorers on the stage with us,

which was a fantastic experience to talk to Peter Hillary. It was incredible when I called him to ask him if he would be part of our show and talk about his father's Sir Edmund Hillary's Yeti expedition. I was fully expecting him just literally to hang up the phone or at least say thank you very kindly, but no thank you. But he was so excited to be part of it and he was so great. And he sent an email afterwards saying thank you so much for involving him and that he had a lot of fun.

So it was really good. And the most important thing is that Dan Schreiber informed him of two new facts that he didn't know anything about. Which was incredible. What were they? They were the fact that there was a comic written about his dad's Yeti expedition, in which he appears in one of the comic frames in French. Then there was the terrible conspiracy theory that it didn't happen or something. And he didn't suffer.

Was that the other one? Yeah, that was the other one. I was really surprised he hadn't heard of that. So this was the idea that a book was published a few years after the Ascent of Everest by someone who claimed that Hillary didn't make it up to the top because the person who reported the news, the only person to report the news back to the UK had done so via telegram, but the telegram said that they didn't make it. The weather was bad, they didn't get up there.

And what that was was Jan Morris, who was reporting on it, wanted to hide the news to make sure it was an exclusive for a newspaper. So it was a pre-written code that was set up between Jan Morris and the newspaper. But obviously, if you look at it as just as a telegram, it says they didn't make it. And England wanted them to make it so that they could have good news for the crowning of the new Queen Elizabeth II. The coronation was happening a few days later. So yeah, so there was a conspiracy.

I'll stop you there, Dan, because what you're actually doing now is just fueling the conspiracy theorists out there. And as a New Zealander, I have to shut the gate on that, even that idea, because come on. We're not allowed that. That's not allowed. But it was an amazing thing. I really hope we do more live shows. I was patched in on a TV from London. I was sitting in the QI offices. You both were on stage.

Peter Hillary was there live. There were about 300 people in the audience. Boone flew in from a different bit of New Zealand. I mean, it was a special out there experience. I loved every second of it. We'll do this again. And hopefully when the world opens up, we'd like to tour properly. Well, didn't we have an idea whilst we were doing that show that because Dan Shriver's really a successful show?

Oh, yeah. What is that, though? No such thing as a fish. He does a tour and he sells out massive arenas like the Sydney Opera House and the Albert Hall and stuff like that. Oh, I don't go on about it. Arenas. Yeah, we all know. The idea is he promoting his other show. He does it every week now.

He's hoping to get on it. Oh, I'm just saying, Alina, I am available. I can see the email look just quietly. Dan, I have been promoting the show quite often on the other show. So it's probably about time you at least give me a small. No, I was going to say, you know how comedians quite often when they're on tour do like a late night gig at some little small venue with an alter ego or something like that.

We could follow Dan's tour whilst he's doing no such thing as fish. And then later night, he sells out, you know, the Hollywood Bowl. And then later that night, we come along and he does like a little gig at a little, you know, comedy bar, comedy club. Yeah, like a little dirty, a dirty club at the end of Dark Street. That sounds great. Cryptid could open for no such thing as a fish.

Do a quick 20 minute podcast. There's no such thing as a quick. Can you imagine us trying to open? I mean, would be absolute chaos. An hour and 40 in and people would be looking at their watch. When's the actual shot? When's the fish coming? These guys get off. And you know, I'd never leave.

And even when your show did go on, Dan, I'd just come back on. Yeah, exactly. Every show during your live tour would have a special guest. Rhys Darby. Well, Rhys has become unofficially the favourite member of the team, including the four of us. When people are like, who's your favourite fish member? I remember that episode Rhys was on.

I think that was, I think he's my favourite. He's not even officially part of the band. Not even in it. Yeah. Oh, well, we just, I mean, look, just let me know. I'm just checking my calendar now. I'm available most days, actually, to join no such thing as a fish. If that was your next question. If that was your next question, the answer, Dan, is most days I'm available.

Cool. I'll let you know when that's my next question. Well, guess what, guys? I think it's time we do what everyone's waiting for. Everyone's favourite segment. It's back after a long break. But here it is. It's Weekly World Weird News.

Crazy. Freaky. Watch out. All right. Well, as you guys know, I've been pretty busy here, so I'm going to jump in with my headline before it gets stolen. Lobster Man, eaten by whale, only to be spat out and live to tell the tale.

I knew you would get that one. You know I like people getting eaten. Wow. Lobster Man. Okay. That sounds cool. I got one here. Humans over the course of 20 training sessions

that last two to three hours long over the course of 10 weeks can become Batman. What? What? So, Lobster Man, Batman. What superhero are you chucking in? Wow. Okay.

Well, that may have just swayed my... There was one article I was going to read, but maybe I change it now. No, I'm going to stick with it. The friendship paradox doesn't always explain real friendships, mathematicians say. Oh. Wow.

Are you a bit worried about how things are going between us all? No. It's a really interesting article. We won't go into it yet because I'm way more interested in whales. Yeah. So, here we go. A man. That's right.

A lobster man. Lobster. I said man and then I said, yeah, that's right. And then I added lobster. So, therefore, when I said man, a lot of people were going, what? You mean lobster? You mean lobster man?

And then I'm like, yeah, I agree with what you were thinking there. As I said, man, that you needed to add lobster. I'm agreeing with all you guys. And what is actually even a lobster man? Yeah. Well, it's something I've come up with to be fair. He's just a man. Right.

But to give him credit, listen to this. He does dive for lobsters. Right. Okay. So, I'm sure he's been called a lobster man before. He's a lobster diving man. Yeah. Just like if you're into cars, you're a car guy.

Yeah. Yeah. This chap, unfortunately, or fortunately for us, for the news, was swallowed by a whale and lived to tell the tale. So, here we go. Let's dive into it. Get it?

So, basically, he's 56. His name is Michael Packard. And he'd been basically lobster diving for years. It's what he does. He's Massachusetts. Okay. Just in the water off Cape Cod. It was his second dive of the day.

And as he reached the seafloor, he encountered something rather weird. And he's quoted here, all of a sudden, I felt this huge shove. And next thing I knew, I was in the dark. I could sense I was moving and I could feel the whale squeezing with the muscles in its mouth.

Without realizing it, that's right. He'd inadvertently been swallowed by a huge humpback whale. Whoa. Hang on. So, he's in the mouth and he's having to go, okay, I don't know where I am now. I'm in darkness. Yeah.

But he's felt muscles going around him. So, he's made the assumption I'm inside a whale now. Oh, yeah. He actually thought he was on a shark. He actually thought it was all over. Wow. Yeah. He says, he thought to himself,

there's no way I'm getting out of here. I'm done. I'm dead. He goes on here that he started, obviously, thinking about his kids. He's got a 12-year-old and a 15-year-old similar to me. So, I'd be thinking exactly the same thing. You know, it's always,

imagine all the things that come to your head, you know, rapidly because you think it's all over. Oh, yeah. His buttons and Dan are going to talk about me as a story of weekly news. You'll be going going, well, it's unfortunate for me, but it's fortunate for our weekly world news,

which I won't be a part of, but it's fortunate. This is going to be the best weekly world news ever. Luckily, great story because he got spat out. So, he says, I saw light, and then he started throwing his head side to side, and next thing, he knew he was outside in the water. So, ultimately, he escaped, and all he got was a broken leg and a few other injuries.

Let's hear it from the chap himself. Here's Michael. Now, to a CBSN Boston exclusive, a lobster man says that he was swallowed up and spit out by a whale off of Provincetown. Provincetown Fire officials tell us that the diver was 45 feet down when the whale grabbed him. The whale then surfaced and let that diver, Michael Packard, go.

He was then pulled back onto his boat and brought to shore. CBSN Boston was the only camera there as the diver left the hospital. No one can tell a story like Michael himself. I'm a lobster diver out of Provincetown, Massachusetts, and I was diving today. I jumped over and I got down to about 45 feet of water, and all of a sudden, I just felt this huge bump

and everything went dark. And I could sense that I was moving, and I was like, oh, my God, did I just get bit by a shark? And then I felt around and I realized there was no teeth, and I had felt really no great pain, and then I realized, oh, my God, I'm in a whale's mouth. Great place to do an interview. What listeners don't realize is there's this giant garbage truck

pulling up just behind him, and it's opening up, and it's about to get... No matter where this guy goes, he's getting eaten. Everything wants to eat him. What a story. I was just going to say, you know, whale watching is quite a popular thing, isn't it? You know, imagine you're on a boat.

Someone goes, oh, look, to your right, there's a humpback coming up. It comes out of the water and just spits a man out at you. Just what a sight. It's an amazing story. But also, it happened in biblical times, allegedly, with Jonah. Right, really? Is that the story? Yeah, Jonah in the whale, he got swallowed,

and then he got spat out. Well, I wonder in that regard, whether there's some sort of religious thing that this guy might be going through. Well, I do have a theory. Oh, here we go. Is it time to play the theme tune? I think it is.

Here it is, folks. Finally, everyone's been waiting for it. It's Budden's Fairy Time. Down in the garden beside the little pond sits a little dainty boy with a special bond. He likes to watch the pecs he's traveling through the trees. They sprinkle all the magic dust.

He says, yes, please. It's Budden's Fairy Time. Budden's Fairy Time. Budden's Fairy Time. Come join in. Budden's Fairy Time. Budden's Fairy Time. Every time everybody holds your hands

and has a big grin. Yeah. So we need to explain that sting a little bit, because people who didn't see the live show, that sting makes no sense whatsoever. All right, let me explain it then. Basically, Budden's asked me to do a theme for him, and he told me it was for Budden's Fairy Time.

So I made that sting for him. I spent a lot of time on it because I know he likes fairies. I do. And I thought each episode he was going to talk about fairies. Turns out he said fairy time. But anyway, there it is. So what's your fairy news this week? And how does that relate to whales?

Dude, every time you have a theory, that sting is being played. Oh, my God. And we're going to have to explain it every time. No, we won't. So my theory with this one is, is that whales are incredibly intelligent animals, right? And what was this guy doing?

He was a lobster diver. He's diving down and killing other sea creatures. And why would a whale not be really pissed off at that? And this whale is going, you know what? I'm sick and tired of this guy coming along. I'm friends with the lobsters. The lobsters know.

Do we know that whales are friends with lobsters? I don't want to cut your theory. Wow, that's in my theory. You said that quite confidently. In my theory, this is exactly what this is. One of the things with Budden's Fairy Time is that we can't interject. Oh, my God.

That's a great rule. We have to let everything fly. Every detail. That's part of the rules. Yep. Okay. If he takes too long, a bell goes off and it's over. Oh, shit.

And then it's like that movie about the car wash with the whales, you know, that animated cartoon thing. And they're all friends and finding Nemo and... What? Oh, yeah. The car wash. Sharks tail? Sharks tail.

Yeah, there you go. And they're all the sea creatures, the little buddies. And so this, this guy's going, I'm so lucky that I'm alive and that the whale didn't eat me. The truth is, he should be going, oh, the whale was serving me a lesson for going down and killing all of these huge, big, beautiful lobsters. Yeah.

And he should look for a new vocation. That's my theory. I like it. Okay. And that's this week's Button's Fairy Time. Good one. I like that. Yeah.

If we became friends with the whales, that seems like a really interesting new form of transport because if you can survive in the mouth of a whale with your breathing apparatus, but travel at the speed of a whale inside its mouth, that's, that feels quiet. It's very much a one-way relationship though, isn't it? If you, if that's a friendship where you're like, hey, hey, mate,

I just need to go down to Florida. Can you, would you mind just like, yeah, okay, cool. But I've taken you for three rides this week already. There's no, what are you doing for me? I'm leaving the lobsters alone. I promise I won't touch the lobsters. I had to do some whale sounds recently on, I can't remember what it was for,

but yeah, they were quite impressed. Was it for one of those little sleep sound devices that play different sounds? Car map. Restarby bedtime story on the car map. Did you also have to do the sound of rain falling on a tin roof or wind blowing through the trees? You know what?

They should do one of those little sound things that you get like, it's a key ring and it's got the buttons on it and you can play different sounds. I mean, I could market that. Yeah. And what have different whale sounds on each button? Yeah, three different types of whale. Really, really bad idea.

Really, really bad. What are the other two buttons there? Whales as well. So you've actually got a whale. Yep. And what's this one? That's another whale. But it sounds similar.

Yeah, but it's a different whale. And what's the third one? That's a whale. So three whales. Yeah. Cool, man. I'll think about it. Well, not even different breeds.

This one's Andrew. This one's Mary. They're all humpbacks. All humpbacks. Yeah, yeah. It's a shame he didn't go further in, though, with the apparatus. You know, if he got swallowed,

would he still could have been regurgitated if the whale didn't take to him? Yeah. But usually at that point, you'd be dead, wouldn't you? Like 30 to 60 seconds in with the panic. Yeah. Air would have left your body.

You would have died. They'd be swallowing a dead thing. But that could have been a living human swallowed by a whale. I mean, what an adventure. I think, yeah, absolutely. But also great that the whale clearly felt that there was something in its mouth

that it didn't want. And you know, we all get that feeling when you take a swig or something and it's like going back to me and my old ashtray skulls in the army. And, you know, there's an ashtray in the bar. They fill it with beer. It's got smoke butts and ashen it and crap.

And they hand it round. Well, I say hand it round. They give it to Derby and he, and he, and he swigs it back, you know, he doesn't even ask. He's like, he's because he can see the other soldiers. He sees particularly the hefty sergeant looking at him and he knows he's got to do it if he wants to,

you know, have that sort of initiation into the signals core. And then he does it. And now he does it. And he feels the cigarettes in his mouth and it's horrible. Hey, hey, you're in a safe space here. Hey, that's a new segment.

It's called Reese's Counseling Time. Reese's Counseling Time. Okay, live back on the couch, Mr. Derby. What would you like to do with this week, Mr. Derby? The laughter, you know, it's just the laughter of everyone around me. They laugh and I don't know. I mean, I like laughing.

I think, oh, this is great, but they're laughing at me. They're laughing at me. They're laughing with you. They're laughing with you, Mr. Derby. But I'm not laughing. That old adage of, oh, they're laughing with you. You've got to be laughing for that to happen.

That's a good point. Okay, they probably are laughing at you. I scrapped that. Mind you, one of them did sort of give me a nudge and say, laugh, laugh. And I'm like, and then they can, you know, they can really say that they're laughing with me

at that point, I suppose. That's true. That actually happened, didn't it? Yeah. Yeah, I did the ashtray skull. I mean, it's pretty bad. I don't think it happens anymore. No, I hope not.

I did the old boot skull. It's just old army days, you know? I mean, I've lived through it, guys. I've been the boot skull is easier. Depends who's booted it. Listeners out here, when I say skull, a lot of the listeners will be like, what are you talking about, Willis?

Oh, third. Third reference of the show. The reference is well, no, that's the reference. The skull reference is in New Zealand. And I think the Commonwealth, we, the term skull means to like, chug back liquid.

So you, you. And so that in New Zealand, the crystal skull has a completely different. Oh, yeah. A lot of us turned up to that fourth Indiana Jones movie expecting to all be about heavy drinking of crystals. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Everybody brought along their grandma's finest crystal mugs and glasses and with, you know, bottles of beer ready to skull from the crystal. We did. Remember before we went through after the, you know, we were in the foyer of the theater there and we got our snacks. Yeah.

And we're all sort of like ting, we're all tinging our crystals. And maybe just because a lot of the guys couldn't afford crystal and we, and they'd go, don't. Oh, not crystal, mate. Not crystal. Okay.

Get out. Get out. No sculling for you tonight. That was a big evening. Yeah. Then we saw the film went nice. Fucking aliens. This is bullshit.

Well, let's just get drunk anyway. Yeah. We were drunk by then anyway. Let's go. Let's go. No. Please. No guys.

You can't smoke in the theater. Take your boot off. Take your boot off, mate. Take your boot off. Take your boot off, mate. Take your boot off. Boot at this tree. No.

No. Laugh. What's going on in there? It's all right. We're laughing with him. Is he? Are you? Oh, yeah.

He's laughing. All right. All right. Good. As long as you're all laughing again. Good movie, isn't it? It's crystal scull. Yeah.

Yeah. Ting. Ting. Ting. You really should actually see somebody about that episode of your life at some point recently. Oh, my God. It might be time to open up that wound.

Oh, there's many other wounds as well. Please. I just quickly Googled it. A humpback whale couldn't swallow humans, so. I had nothing to worry about. Oh, well, that's that. More evidence for your theory, though. Yeah.

Lots of lobsters were saved that day. Cool. Shall we do mine? Yes. Yeah. is in as few as 10 weeks, researchers have been able to teach 12 participants how to echolocate. Oh, wow.

So when I say turned into Batman, I don't mean turned into a vigilante who can save the town. You're talking real bats. Well, you know what? For me, that's even more exciting. I know. That's still a superpower. Exactly.

As we all know, it's how bats, without being able to see, are able to tell where things are by sending sound and hearing it echoes coming back. And so if there's a tree there, I can hear that that's six feet away or whatever through the echo coming back. So these researchers, exactly. Wait, there's crystal nearby. Oh, I'm holding it. Let's go throw into the cinema.

Sorry. So over 20 training sessions, which lasted only two to three hours each time, they had these 12 people, some were blind, some were partially sighted, and some I think were sight was OK. They were old. They were young. All of them. All of them had the same responses, which were they were able to navigate virtual mazes,

zigzags, U-bends. And they were doing this by using mouth clicks. You know I'm going to do it. I know. I mean, it just makes so much sense coming home late at night, just little mouth clicks guiding you through the woods. Yeah. So in the final two sessions, participants had their navigation skills tested in a virtual

maze that they'd never done before. And even while blinded in this environment, collisions were way fewer. I mean, there were still collisions, but there were way fewer than at the start of the program, which means that they had trained their brain to understand the distances and so on. So I mean, it's just a crazy thing that I can't believe we're capable of doing. There's so many things that I feel like we don't know we're capable of doing as humans that we see animals doing, going, well, I guess that will never be us. But it turns out if we just like learning the piano, train ourselves a bit, then we

can become Batman. It's the 10,000 hours thing, isn't it as well? So if you, particularly with music, if you put in 10,000 hours, you're going to get there. If you put in, what is it? Ten weeks of 20 sessions. 20 sessions. Two to three hours each. Wow.

So it's interesting how long that they, how they work that out, how much time they think they really need to get you to that point. And of course, if they continue that, you're only going to get better. The Bat people are going to be even more precise. I'm trying to think about the times where that is actually going to be really helpful. And it'd be like, don't get me wrong, it'd be great if like, imagine if you're like, there's some kind of natural disaster and you're stuck inside a building and you've got to get out or it's filled with smoking.

You can't see very far, but obviously, you know, you can echo like that would be amazing. You're inside the mouth of a whale. Yeah. How big it is to make the size of the whale. You quickly take your apparatus off. Yeah. Yeah. But I'm trying to think in a practical sense, when, when are the times that I would actually

want to be able to use echolocation. And the only time I can come up with is like, you know, when it's early in the morning, you've got to get up early in the morning to go and do something and your partner is in bed still trying to sleep and you're trying to creep around and you can't find your undies. Well, you know, and you switch the light on on your phone and it's way too bright. How early is this? So it's still dark. It's like 4 a.m.

You know, you're going out to like go do something fun. Do a shoot or something. Yeah, do a shoot or hunt for an animal or something. And then rather than switching your light on, you can walk into the bedroom and go. Well, you've got to be able to do it for a start. But that again, that was almost. But is this with the new mic? Because you've got a new mic as well.

I've got a new mic. No, this must be something in the transmission. What? It's like a wet fart. It's I don't know what that noise is. It's not. Maybe it's just like your mouth is missing itself. Maybe it's like you're trying to do it and it's missing.

Maybe it's a normal sound, but I've got a wet room. Maybe I'm in a very wet room. Well, anyway, it's if I'm in my bedroom at 4 a.m. Walking around and going. Yeah, it's better or worse than an iPhone light. I think I would stick to your phone light. Really? Personally. But honestly, do the do the six week course.

You need to get the noises better. Michelle will wake up going, are you doing wet farts and bed again? No, I'm trying to find my undies. Did you do a wet fart in your undies? Is he trying to find you undies? I want her to wake up and see you like in the dark, like this figure of a man like naked. It's sort of between the bathroom and the bed going.

What are you doing? Oh, go back to bed. I'm trying to find my undies. I've got to get I've got to get my get. Just turn the light on your dick in. I've done the course. Going by Reese's sounds, though, I reckon Rosie Reese's wife is going to have sort of weird, random ping pong dreams.

Just sounds like a game going on. Those are my extreme ones, but I would I would take it down to more of a. That kind of thing. Oh, yeah, like radar, like actual radar in a submarine that. Oh, yeah. Why can't they do that? I mean, why do they have to do the? Why can't they do the?

Yeah, maybe that's the second course. A list of people here who have graduated and you go through to level two. We've got Reese Derby, Dan Schreiber. And that's it. OK, you guys have gone through. No, I'm afraid not. So I'm going to go through the virtual most. No, no, but you are the two you can go through.

You'll be doing the ping class, OK, which is just it's it's an hour session. Do you know what, though? I have seen a couple of videos of blind people locating and it is actually really quite incredible. There is a guy who does bicycle trips. There's a guy who does. There's a guy who does bicycle tracks. It's not related, but he does bicycle trips.

So it's nothing to do with what I'm talking about. But just I just want to get this in here. I'm going to squeeze in this because he's got a trip coming up in July. And there's and there's a couple of positions still available. His name's Larry Fogman, and he rides at 20. His phone numbers available. Thanks, but it's thanks for putting that in there. I know you're busy today.

And yeah, like I said, there's just a couple of seats available. I mean, it is a tandem, after all. So what does he does bike trip? Well, no, let me show I'm going to show you this guy. So here you go. I'm going to play you a video of a guy here. Well, this the video says it all while we're waiting for it. You're right.

Blind people have learned how to use canes and so on, like by hitting their cane to the ground. So it's the same process? Yeah, because obviously their senses are a hugely heightened via sound. Well, I feel like I've been taking the mickey. I hope no one thinks I have. No. Hey, I just like making noises.

What I tried to say there was I like making noises. But if we go back and listen to what I actually. You can't you can't go back and do it. If I can't go back and do bicycle trips. All right, let's see the. OK, here we go. We found other people possessing superhuman powers. Daniel Kish is like the superhero daredevil

who's blind, but uses heightened senses to fight crime. Daniel lost his sight as a child, but he can still ride a bike. Hedling down a street, he somehow avoids cars. He can even sense when to turn corners, much like a bath that uses sonar to navigate. How does he do it? Daniel makes clicking sounds that act like a form of human sonar. He calls it echolocation.

The sound bounces off objects. I'm hearing the reflection of sound as it comes back. Daniel showed me how he navigates the streets. The passageway between buildings. And then we have. Stuff, basically, in the way, tall stuff, posts or something right in the middle of the walkway. When people say you have superhuman abilities, how do you respond?

I'm human. I haven't been bitten by a radioactive spider or anything. So that's exactly it. It's like you were saying, Dan, we, as humans, are capable of so much more than we give ourselves credit for. And this guy's put in the hours he's put in the training, self trained, no doubt. And we can do it. So I think as future continues, because let's face it,

well, future will continue. I think we're going to see more and more. All things going well, future will continue. Although that is a bit of an eerie subject with the world away. It is still at the moment. But let's say future does continue. That's not even a sentence. Life, let's say life, it is scrubbed future.

No, it's not scrubbed future. It's a dodgy word, you know, you know, you can be delicate with the word future because if you get rid of future, you're gone. But you could change it to life and life's fine. So I've just got a call here, guys. Yeah. No, no, no, I'm not interested. I've not I haven't got time to go on your bloody bike trip. What's that?

No. No, I'm not going on a tandem with it's just you, isn't it? It's it's a you've got. It does link into the whale story, of course, because as as as whales use echolocation as well. Of course. Of course. Yes. That's a very good point.

Well, you guys are my friends, right? That wasn't a rhetorical question. You guys are my friends, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yep. Good. Just checking. Good. Thank you. That's good. Because we now just have to work out with our friendship. Who has the most friends?

And it turns out scientists have deducted that there is actually a paradox around friendship called the friendship paradox. Now, the friendship paradox, it's been around for a while since 1991. There was an article in a journal released titled Why your friends have more friends than you do. And it's based on the fact is your friends on average are more popular than you are, according to this phenomenon. This is an email you got personally, wasn't it?

I'm this is the don't make I read this article. And it's it's not an article. It's an article. It's an article that is entitled your what? It starts your friends. Dearly, our honor. No, it's a paradox. And now a group of mathematicians have come up with a new theory on it.

And they found out that their equations describe real world popularity differences amongst friends. So I just thought that we could quickly figure out our friendship paradoxes and the popularity differences. So the general idea is based on a simple calculation that the number of friends a person's friends friend has on average is greater than the number of friends of that individual person. So say again, a person's friends friends, the number of a person,

the number of a friend's of a person's friend is on average greater than the number of friends of that individual person. So it's just one step away. Yeah, not to not a friend's friend. I heard from a friend's friend. Well, that's from a friend that comes into. OK, does it keep getting bigger? The friends, friends, friends, well, friends.

This is that. Well, this is this is this is this is exactly what they are now saying. The postdoctoral fellow at the Santa Fe University Institute in New Mexico says that some people are less popular than their friends and others are more so. And so they're saying that the averages are more often highly misleading or can at least fail to describe people's experiences. So I tuned out there for a second.

What was that last bit? It's so confusing. Well, let me go on. It says to understand. That's why you don't be friendly. OK, settling this story. OK, so I knew this would be hard. I knew this would be hard, but try and stick with me.

OK, to understand why, think about a person with just two friends. OK, think about a person with just two friends. All right, just two friends. I'm looking at him. Yeah, why? Who's in the room with you? No, it's not in the I don't I'm not revealing who it is, but I can see him on the screen.

OK, OK, OK. Think about a person with just two friends contrasted with a person who has hundreds of friends. So are you doing that now? Good. OK, now imagine entering this social. There he is. Reese is looking into a mirror just for the the list. It was very subtle, very subtle.

OK, now imagine entering into the social bubble. You are more likely to be friends with the social butterfly than the wallflower simply because there are more chances you are one of hundreds. Go back there. Who's OK, the social butterfly is the guy with a hundred hundreds. And the and the wallflower is the two people. And you're more likely to be friends with the person with hundreds of friends

because there's more chances that you're one of the hundreds of the social butterfly's friends than of the wallflower's two best buddies. But it's still possible for you to become friends with the wallflower and focusing on averages that can obscure when that might happen. I don't even understand what this is saying. OK, so now this guy and his colleagues have developed. What do you mean now? This is how you lose friends, is it?

OK, I can get this. I can bring this back. So you're going to lose the two friends you have. Because you're harping on about the story. Well, it's made sense. Which refers to Dan and I with all our friends. It doesn't make any sense anymore. Hang on, I'll just read this part.

And then if this doesn't make any sense, then we'll just I'll just. OK, it's not to be no point of it. What was the point of it all again? Was it us to figure out who was the most popular? I thought there might be a calculation. I thought they might give us a formula of who has the most friends. I thought there was some sort of experiment we were going to do or a formula to be reviewed.

OK, let's see. To understand why. So you haven't even read the article to the answer, there is one. No, I've got most of the article. I just I thought maybe it might send something about social media networks. And I thought that we could quickly do a calculation. OK, here's the thing with people who have friends, OK? They read their articles, OK?

And they tell their friends about the article before they go on here. I read most of it. I read my I read the good bits. I read the summary. OK, so now this guy and his colleagues have developed this new mathematical equation to make the friendship. Paradox, wait, well, this guy, this guy, this guy, OK?

This guy and his colleagues, and his colleagues, even their friends. He's calling them colleagues. I've gone up to him. Look, if you're going to write this article about friends, don't include us, OK? We're not your friends. We are your colleagues, OK? But I'm writing. It's not even an article. It's an email to your only other friend, isn't it?

No, it is, and we are not going to be part of it. We we've got hundreds of friends. Don't you include us as your friends, where your colleagues and you could just you and your mate buttons could deal with this. And don't you let him bring it up on here. This is your elaborate way of trying to get more friends. This reeks of a scientist who's gone. You know, he's worked his ass off on all the things he's done.

And, you know, like scientists do. And at one point he's gone, why don't I have any friends? And he's gone, you know what? Like scientists do because they're big, brilliant nerds. And they go, I'm going to work that out. I'm going to work out why I haven't got any friends. This is what he's done, hoping that this would actually get him more friends. Oh, well, it's not working.

This is just for him to explain to his parents, isn't it? Well, it's a paradox. Really weird paradox. It's a shame your son hasn't got many friends. Well, it turns out it's actually a paradox. Yeah, so it's not his fault. OK, he's got plenty of colleagues. And when he went to sort of get with one of these friends

and sort of hang out, by the way, the guy he was going to hang out with had hundreds of friends, I might add. So he's one step away from friendship. He's very close to hundreds of friends. I mean, I've got my I've got my one friend. But unfortunately, he is away because he's gone a bicycle trip. He's trying to he's trying to convince me to go with him. I'm not keen.

He knows I don't have a bike, so he's gone and bought a tandem. And I'm just not interested. So I've written this article. OK, well, can I listen to the cryptid factor again? Haven't you, darling? Yeah, well, it's been four weeks since I've come up. My other friends, my three other friends, my virtual friends. My other. Those are your only friends, aren't they?

We are. We're friends. Yes, we're friends to people with paradoxes. If you've got a friendship paradox, we will be your friends. Yeah, just have to join our Patreon and then that solves the paradox. It's a simple initiation. It's just join the Patreon and do a quick ashtray skull. And then, honestly, I don't ashtray skull to be your friend.

That's for sure, Mr. Derby. As long as we're all laughing with each other, life goes on. Can I read? Can I read a couple? Yeah, yeah, give us the end of this. OK, so this guy is a bathroom. Now, you carry on. OK, so this guy and his colleagues have developed a new mathematical equation

to make the friendship paradox better match the range of situations found in real social networks. They base their equations on two assumptions from real world studies. There's a significant degree of variation in how many friends people have, depending on their social network. And popular people are more likely to have popular friends, whereas unpopular people are more likely to have unpopular friends. I've got to get back to the podcast.

I know there's hundreds of you. Honestly, guys, I've got to I've got to deal with these two colleagues. No, yep. No, wait, wait outside. Oh, there's so many of you. Just no, I don't want to drink right now. Yes, yes, it's a funny song. I'll be back in a minute. Guys, obviously, I've just got to find I've got a couple of these guys here

that are just colleagues. Yeah, it's a paradox thing, honestly. Yeah, OK, just shut the door. Sorry, guys. Oh, my God, we are your colleagues. That's exactly. That's really concerning. My only two friends just became colleagues by me reading this article.

That's so shit. I knew this was a bad idea. Oh, you've blown it. You have lost your only friends. Exactly. I paradox them into colleague. OK, so. It's your own fault, buddy.

I know, I know it is. That's the sad thing. OK, so this is the part I've got to read. The research has also developed a new mathematical theory, which states that, on average, your friends are not only more popular than you, but also richer and better looking. This is a really depressing paradox. That's based on when we started the show with how hot Dan was looking.

I know. Oh, man, this is a really terrible article. I've got to say, I haven't understood anything from what you said in the last 20 minutes, but it's I have no idea. I'm no further down the road of understanding. What a friendship paradox is. I just have no idea what. Like it's basically.

It should be called the button paradox. This is the button paradox. Button has read you an article. It has all the information in there, but you come out the end having no idea what we said. How's that possible? He told you everything. It's a paradox. The button's paradox.

What was it? What was your other stories? Give us a headline for one of your other stories. Just have a curiosity. Let's see what we missed out on. OK. Human like robot creates creepy self portraits. Oh, that would have been amazing.

Brilliant. I would have loved that. That would have been so good. Well, get a while. What else? What else did you have? Did you have any others? Yeah, I also had 1947 alien autopsy film frame is up for auction as a non fungible token or an NFT. Oh, that's

something cool to hear about that, too. Stunning. That's cool. Oh, sorry. Did I I thought maybe I chose a bad article, but man, this is classic buttons. We just spent 35 plus minutes talking about nothing. That's what I'm here for, guys. I bring it everywhere.

The one thing you think I can guarantee is that I can talk about nothing for a solid 30 minutes. Well, Reese, you said a random thing earlier to saying the chicken or the egg, what came first? And it made me remember a thing that I was reading earlier this week, a really cool theory. So chicken or the egg, what came first? That's a paradox.

Because, yeah, well, it is, yeah. Please don't start. So the thinking is, is that two prototype chickens that weren't modern day chickens got together and then that led to a chicken being born and then gradually that spread. And that's how we have chickens. So the egg, most likely, obviously, is the first thing to came. It was just through different species evolving into the chicken.

Right. But I was reading a philosopher, Alan Watts, and he was talking about the fact that the chicken or the egg, it doesn't matter what came first. As far as we know, the chicken is in control, right? Chicken lays an egg and then creates a new chicken. And he says, what if it's the other way? What if it?

What if a chicken is an egg's way of making more eggs? Wow. Wow. What if the egg is in control here? And that's the way that it gets spread. Oh, yeah, that's a little bit better than the friendship paradox. That paradox is a lot better. And that only took, Dan, you know, less than a minute to bring up and chat about.

And already we've walked away with something way more mind boggling than an hour's worth of friends who have friends. You know what they say, a fast paradox is a good paradox. And, you know, if I've learned anything today, I have learned that a fast paradox is a good paradox. That's good. So now you've got your own takeaway. That's a good one. That's good. You've redeemed yourself a fast paradox is a good paradox.

And you've even got now in recorded proof of how bad a slow paradox can be. The friend paradox is the slowest, worst, you know, most painful paradox anyone can ever discuss. And we've got through it. Only just that's quite an achievement, actually. You guys are the only see two of the best colleagues I've ever had, honestly. And this was my favorite moment when Dan said,

I have no idea what you've been talking about for the last 20 minutes. Oh, man. OK, let's do some cryptid news. OK, let's do cryptid news. Attention, all personnel, it's time for this week's cryptid. Help me. What do you got? Well, I've only gone and got a bombshell. Oh, British Bigfoot bombshell,

proof of ape like humanoids thriving in the UK. Sheared by expert, OK, from the Daily Star. So, you know, it's true. This is an exclusive. They're calling it over the past decade. There has been a huge increase in the number of giant ape men, sightings in the UK. Beasts of Britain author Andy McGrath is one of the handful

of British Bigfoot researchers tracking them down. He believes that there could be communities of Bigfoot living in the UK. I mean, this is the first time that I can recall of ever hearing such a thing. If you guys ever heard of the idea that there's Harry Hominids in the UK, I mean, this is. No, not really. It's news to me. So he says, while they're not as infamous as the US counterpart,

Sasquatch, Andy says there's plenty of evidence of their existence. If you know where to look, he said the idea of a British Bigfoot is not very accepted worldwide, even among the Bigfoot community. But our history mainly relates to the legend of the Green Man, hearing man like creatures that are depicted on ancient heraldry like crests and carved into our ancient churches. The water was what can you tell us about about them, Dan? Well, the great.

So water woos were almost kind of like a Bigfoot like character, a sort of feral Hominid. And you can see them in gargoyle like carvings throughout churches and so on. And kings in the past used to wear them to fancy dress costume parties. And they were really predominant in in the mythology of Britain. And the Green Man is a real new agey kind of thing that you see a lot here. Very much a part of the mythology of the British Isles. I don't know actually too much about it.

What I do know is it's not a Bigfoot. It's not it's not a sort of separate species. I think it's I think it's meant to be feral humans that have just kind of continued being feral, I think. OK, so that's a bit of a non story, but I still thought that was worth bringing up. If there's anyone listening in the UK, as we know, there's hundreds of you. If you've had any sightings, please let us know.

If you typed into Google Bigfoot Sightings UK. I mean, there's a lot of things saying is this Bigfoot man captures image of Sasquatch in Britain. Is this a photo of a UK Bigfoot? The day Bigfoot stalked workers in a Cornwall forest. So there are stories there. There are accounts. But that's interesting because he's saying that Bigfoot experts don't see Bigfoot.

So maybe there are stories, but none of the Bigfoot experts see it as legit stories. Yeah, that reminds me of a paradox. Please no more paradoxes. Because like they're saying, OK, we don't believe you guys in the UK that you're seeing them. We're seeing them here in North America. You know, we have. Well, how come you guys are seeing them? What are you? What's your evidence?

They're out there. Yeah, they're out there. We've got the knocking. We've got the the footprints, you know, and we've got the eyewitness accounts. And we've got the odd bit of here that doesn't classify as human. So what have you got? Well, we've got the stories. We've got the we've got them in the coats of arms.

You know, there's been there's been the odd account. There's someone's heard something. So you've got a sort of way up the evidence to go, oh, yours is heavier than yours. So yours is, you know, unless you get a single footprint, you know, you're out or, you know, it must be the war between the communities would be interesting. So it's proof. OK. Well, then moving on to real bigfoot news. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

There's a woman reports a Sasquatch encounter outside a gym in Ashland in Colorado. The 20 year old woman was walking out of the warehouse 24 hour gym in Ashland around midnight after finishing her workout. She turned to the right and headed to her car in the Will Litt Car Park. There were no other vehicles on the lot. She as she turned around the corner, she heard a twig snap. She looked and saw a creature seven to eight foot tall and covered in gray fur. Oh, great. And then it just raced back into the woods about 30 yards away.

So it just sprinted 30 yards. It was far too large, likely several hundred pounds, she says, and moved too quickly to be a man. Shaken and in tears, she called her parents from a nearby restaurant, asking them to come and drive her home. She had likely encountered a Sasquatch, according to nationally acclaimed bigfoot investigator, Matthew Moneymaker. There he is from BFRO.

The sighting was reported to him by this woman's father. And she doesn't want to be identified because even the friends that she has told this to have started mocking her and what have you. But she is Moneymaker says that she is very, very shaken. He's talked to the father and and he says that this is definitely not a hoax report, he says. So wait, this was in an urban area? Yeah, urban is urban area.

It's right near the woods. And it was just standing there looking at it. Yeah, that's right. And it was dark, right? It was dark. It was midnight. But she definitely was light enough. It was well lit areas in a small town. So it's not like it's, you know,

it was very likely that she was anyone around. And you wouldn't report something like this if it was a possible misidentification of someone in a big gray tracksuit or whatever. You know, you wouldn't even bother. No, and you wouldn't be mentioning it. No, and you wouldn't be in tears calling your parents from a nearby restaurant, you know, freaked out. Moneymaker assigned the the citing as a class A rating, he calls it,

the highest of his three tiered scale. According to his website, the difference between the classifications relates to the potential for misinterpretation of what was observed or heard. A given witness might be very credible, but could have honestly misinterpreted something that was seen, found or heard to your point, Rhys. Thus, for the most part,

the circumstances of the incident determine the potential for misinterpretation. And therefore this classification, he says, is a class A rating because it involves clear sightings and circumstances where misinterpretation or misidentification of other animals can be ruled out with great confidence. In this case, there are only three possibilities, he says, either the witness is lying, which I am sure she is not, he says, or she saw someone in a Bigfoot costume, which makes no sense at all. Ordinarily, in a hoax, the person reporting the sighting

or taking the photos is in on the scan, or she saw a real Bigfoot as the third option, which he believes is the case. After a while, a fourth option. No, there's just the three. Oh, I do it. I'm proposing a fourth. Yeah. Could it have been a British Bigfoot?

Because I'm on holiday. And it was it was in the wrong place at the wrong time, was confused. Good point. Very good point. Yeah. And then suddenly ran off. But back to Britain. Yeah. I mean, what what were the final?

Was there any words from the Bigfoot as it took off? I'm thinking something like, telly ho. You know, anything that might have been a little British as it as it left. Yeah, toodles, toodles. Yeah, toodles. That's cool. And what I interest me also is the grayness, like it was obviously. An older creature.

Yeah. And if it's an older one, was it interested in maintaining its youthfulness by going to the gym? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Is it looking for a workout? It's a 24 hour gym, probably the perfect gym for a Sasquatch because you get in there when no one's in there.

There was only one car in the car park. She's probably he was probably waiting for that car to leave. Yeah. And in he goes, three a.m. Workout. Yeah. For the British Sasquatch on the treadmill. Do you imagine how completely munted all the gear would be after Sasquatch has been in? Can you? And like, it would lift everything really easily.

It was just real. Things are smashed and dumbbells are falling off. It's like a scene from Harry and the Henderson. Yeah, it goes to get one of those little cone drinks, you know, those little cups that are in our cones and you can't put them down. It just crushes it. Water. Water.

And the three a.m. thing. I mean, that could be jet lag as well, if it's a British big. Oh, absolutely. Yeah, it's a very good point. It's a very good time. It's on it's on UK time. It's like, let's let's work out on board. No, it runs. Oh, there's one person there. Oh, wait, wait.

OK, here we go. Oh, she's seen me. She's seen me. Shit. Toodles. Well, the interesting thing is, is that in this little place called Ashland County, this is actually the sixth official Sashcroft sighting dating back to 1943, where a man recalled being picked up by a bigfoot as a child.

And then more recently, in 2015, residents at a campground reported seeing a tall, perhaps eight foot tall creature in the shadows before it bolted away. So there's a lot going on there. Yeah. Did I tell you guys that I recently met a man who was he came to do our garden, who was stolen by an eagle when he was a child in a field in Kazakhstan?

What? Wow. Stolen by an eagle. Yeah, he's from Kazakhstan. He was a baby. He was in a field and an eagle swooped down, picked him up, carried him away and his mum chased after it with a stick and beat the eagle with a stick and he got dropped. What a shame. What a shame she did that because imagine if he was raised by eagles.

Oh, yeah. You know how wild people get raised by the animal that they get kidnapped by or left with. Yeah. That'd be incredible. He comes out squawking and talking like an eagle. I don't think the eagles are stealing babies to raise them. I think that's that's the issue I have. That's a very good point.

That's a very good point. OK, so they're not going to raise them. I've got your back to the nest. I'm going to raise you now. OK, right now you're going to be a bird. Get your arms out. That's right, because, oh, God, you've got many feathers. Have you?

Who's this new baby? That's a new one I want to raise. Oh, no, come on, Madri. Well, we've got kids. Stop going and picking up humans and raising them. You can't adopt these humans. The nest isn't big enough. Oh, come on, Brian.

I'm sick of it. I'm going on a bike trip. I imagine as well, just like that little nudge that the mummy bird gives the little birds to make them fly, you know, force them to use the wings. Go on, I can't, I can't, I can't. Go on, just go, go. Oh, shit.

You've got to go and steal me a new one. It's a waste of five years' worth of raising. That little shit can't even fly. I got a quick story. Shall I check in a final story? This was news from May, which is that there is a woman in New York who claims that Bigfoot has been stealing her garbage cans and moving them on her behalf.

So this is she's found footprints and she's convinced that she's seen this happening a lot. She said, I saw the eyes that stood about 10 to 11 feet tall and my heart was racing. So her name is Jane Vesper and she lives in Highland in the Ulster County of New York and Highland is in the Hudson Valley. It's home to lots of Bigfoot sightings. So it's not as if, you know, when you say the words New York

as a foreigner to America, I picture the city. But obviously this must be Woodland area. I mean, the state of New York. Yeah, exactly. So according to local media reports, says the article, Vesper has seen Bigfoot in her yard at least four times since January, often enough that she's both scared and ready with her cell phone that paid off on the last sighting on May 6th

when she captured a video of what she claimed was Bigfoot's glowing red eyes in the dark. Oh. And so she's posted up that video to if you got it there. I'll see if I can find it. The news has still been coming. So actually, we might have a latest update here from her. Here we go. Oh, wow. May 6th. These are the footprint activities that she found.

How do we feel about that? Because what we're looking at is a mossy ground. Yeah. And the footprint is like the moss has been removed. Yeah, it doesn't make any sense to me. It doesn't happen. Yeah, you'd squash it down. You wouldn't make it dissolve. Unless when you squash it down, it you actually dies and then disappears.

That doesn't make much sense either. No. Well, let's see. Let's see more photos. And then, yeah, look. All right. But again, why? Why is the grass gone? It doesn't make sense. No. Unless unless Bigfoot ran through a puddle of roundup.

And everywhere it went, it killed the vegetation. Yeah, but that would be a good idea, wouldn't it? If you just put big pools of roundup around. So when it runs, it runs through this. This could be another button's fairy time. This is a general ideas, ideas worth sharing. Oh, there's a growing. Oh, there we go. There we go.

Oh, there we go. There we go. So this is a video that we're watching right now of glowing eyes sort of moving like a UFO. That is ridiculous. Well, you know what? Either she's holding the camera still and the Bigfoot is like his head is bopping all around the place. Yeah.

Or she's a terrible videographer or the other brake lights of a car that somebody was filming in the distance in a foggy night. It's two red lights in the distance. And then someone's with the well, let's be honest, perhaps Jane has got the camera and has just moved left, right, left, right to make it look like shaky. But it's clearly not eyes. They don't blink much.

If this stuff, Bigfoot, say favorite, whatever. Look, honestly, you know what, though, this is this is the good thing. In a couple of days, I'm going to be back in New York City. I'm pretty sure like I can get up to where she is. And so maybe I go and have a look myself. Yeah, you could meet Jane and meet Jane. And then whether or not she will show me the footprints or the plaster cast. I think a bit more research should be done before even embarking

on that journey personally. I think buttons has seen an opportunity of how to expand his friendship group here with Jane. Well, she just may be wealthy and good looking and have lots of other friends that I can tap into. So I think we should warn Jane that you're coming because she might want to head off on a certain bike trip that's available. And on that note, that is it.

What a journey. It's so good to be back amongst colleagues. Oh, absolutely. As soon as we get off here and I can join my friends, it'll be fantastic. OK, see you guys. Toodles. Toodles. Toodles.

Toodles.