The Cryptid Factor - 66: #066 The Quoting Issue

Episode Date: July 29, 2021

In this ramshackled episode, Rhys fails to deliver Rapisodes, Dan fails in health and Buttons fails to be articulate. Also you'll find a kidnapped Nanna raised by Monkeys, AI Robots meeting Aliens, and Elon predictions from 1953. Also a Bigfoot crossing a river carrying a deer or two babies and a big(ish) cat let loose by a pig buddy. Enjoy!

The Cryptid Factor with Rhys Darby and Dan Schreiber. We are back! I know we say that every time, but it's obvious when you hear the voices. In fact, you should know from the theme tune that there's definitely a high possibility that we are back. It would be pretty awesome just to play the theme tune for one episode and just have nobody, we're not back. Nothing else. Yeah. Or it just opens with like a janitor doing some sweeping.

Oh yeah, they're not here. They're not here. I don't know why you've chained in. They're not here. Yeah, maybe in a couple of weeks. I don't know. They're pretty busy. They're just popped out.

They're on their way back. Check back in later. Yeah. Oh, sorry. We're not open at the moment. Yeah, just give us another couple of weeks. Yeah, we're just doing some reshuffling. Thank you.

I didn't realise the door was open. Sorry. What are you back? Hey, what if I was going back? Not yet. They're not back yet. Sorry. Hurry up.

Hurry up. Hurry up. Hurry up. Hurry up. Hurry up. Hurry up. Hurry up. Hurry up.

Hurry up. Back foot is out there. We'd better come back, guys. OK. We're back. And we're back. I hate to be the one to remind you, Recie, but I was expecting this episode to start with a bumper back to back double episode of The Wrap звон.

Oh, yeah. I wasn't expecting that. We are back. I was expecting theÖ how does it go? Yeah well unfortunately I ran out of time again because I have this I have this job guys or I'm acting in a show and I'm the number one on the call sheet so there's a lot of work and I just haven't simply haven't had time to sit back and write the double bumper but it's still coming it's you know we're going to wait for it it's a bit exciting I think next week is going to be the

week I've got an extra day off tomorrow it's like delaying something that you know is inevitable like needing to go the dentist and then the dentist cancelling on you and saying no you go come tomorrow you go oh for you the pain's gone one day away what no but if you if you're going to the dentist most likely you have pain that's an extra day of pain that's how our fans see it they want the rappers and also you're likening going to the dentist to listening to my episodes so you know it's I'm not sure whether that works no okay I didn't think that one through well but you know it's going to be the end of the episode so that's going to be painful there's going to be people that are going to be well probably not tuning in anymore well my parents will be gone

for starters yeah but there'll be something new oh what's that famous quote when something finishes something new always begins who's that famous quote by that's the rest of the original I think that's me I just came up with it oh it's now famous now that you said it's now famous hang on I've got to do my um audio signature on that oh looking at copyright it it's 228 on the 16th of july re-starby um doby there we go you actually remember that the audio signature that's awesome hang on it's actually a two-page I've got to um I've got to put my initials on the bottom of this one R&D oh and there's another bit here I've got to sign R&W there we go it's done oh it's all copy

written and what was I've forgotten the quote so I'll go back and listen to it someday and might use it again I think was that was that the debut of the initials audio signature did we have that in the previous no that's new you're right wow yeah if there's a two-pager you've got to initial the second page as well I want to say two-pager I mean audio pages have you just invented audio pages you've now got a copyright okay 229 on the 16th of july audio pages uh as well as initials I'll do a double up on this one re-starby R&W R&D all right let's just fucking get on with the show hey come on stop inventing shit just shut it down no no more ideas okay okay we'll be here all day hey I've um I've just seen that something I've experienced in the last couple of days is

trending on twitter uh which is the neurovirus which struck my family three days ago what it's a projectile vomiting and diarrhea uh bug which hit my whole family you're kidding me this is the first day I've been able to sit up I've been flat in bed for two days Fidella my wife was able to get up she came downstairs with will and she was sitting across the table from him and he projectile vomited all over her from across the table like exorcist style oh my god that's horrendous and we didn't know what was going on and it's been a nightmare in the house and it's just come out that there's this big bug going around that's not corona and we're we're one of the few that have got it so very exciting we're trending throw out a suggestion there has anybody checked

that that virus couldn't possibly start from ingesting eucalyptus oil oh yes did you start a whole new virus by ingesting eucalyptus oil wow and because you went to the hospital you're the super spreader it's it's yeah it's very plausible um it's not it's not a great thing to have done so I'm not going to act all excited if I've infected an entire hospital with a new virus in the middle of the pandemic viruses are so popular these days I mean they're really hot yeah but yeah no it's been it's been hell so it's nice chatting to you guys feeling normal because I've been flat out for the last few days um with yeah there's a lot of projectiles projectile it's fascinating to watch projectile vomit it really is out bogey it's column like all right well let's

let's crack into something more stomachable sorry I've just never trended before and you know not many people have it they're saying watch out for it and I've you know I can go on tv now and talk about it I've been there I've seen it finally you're trending yeah and on that note weekly world weird news crazy freaky watch out all right what have we got guys let me go first oh okay should we let you go first then so I've got always getting stuff sent through from the cryptid knights uh and so this one caught my eye from the daily star a brit gran raised by monkeys in jungle after kidnap ordeal never saw her family again I've got her here what uh no not physically with me

but I've got this this article yeah marina Chapman so I think that'd be fun wow are you trying to one up my man who didn't know that woman existed and has no sexual I think it's not going to be hard to top that one we should choose those two we should get those two together that would be amazing like come on your guy that just had no libido uh because he was in the garden too much that dude okay well excited about that one then uh what have you got Dan there's a new scientific paper that's been published that says that should we meet aliens our AI robots should be the ones that greet them oh and there's a whole theory about how the universe is seeded with AI robots and we'll get into that in a bit wow that's interesting that's future news isn't it really

that's so news it's in the future uh did you say that's so news that's so news that it's in the future I mean I think that could be a t-shirt were you trying to say that's so new that it could be in the future if something's really new it means it's from the future it's so new that it's not even out yet yeah that's exactly it but also you used the s on the end of it because it was news yeah so you use two words new and news yeah put them together as news yeah I'm just gonna quickly copyright that because nobody's ever done that before yeah you better do that I don't know that I think I think you're treading on Reese's here's a famous quote which has never been said before he then says it's fame predates its existence I think this is very similar

it's time traveling fame I might have to go back and check my quote actually yeah to see if yours is uh very similar there buttons well hang on let me just rewind the tape and here's a quote for you uh when one thing ends a new thing begins there we go that's so amazing it's like rewinding the tape change the quote a little bit because I can't remember it being it also it weirdly aged Reese into an old man that's what the quote becomes in the future he actually accidentally fast forwarded the tape and still rewound he fast forwarded to when he's an old man and he's condensed the quote down things change over time I think the quote did because like be honest old Reese he hasn't got

much time left he doesn't want a long quote hang on I might go forward and see how how much shorter it gets even more in the future out with the old and with the new wow did you guys hang on I'm gonna come back guys did you hear that yeah that was that was amazing do you know what in the future you change your quote it boils right down to an actual famous what that one's been done yeah but it's like because you've now you've reinvented it you now reown it it's like you've done a future version of an old thing I think so I mean I wonder if it's still registered because it's literally a different quote now oh well it's fine I'm sure you

copyright it in the future anyway with with out with the old and with the new with my story we haven't even gotten to my head hang on you're just using my quote now I'm using your quote no but hey that's fine in the future you can sue me you can't sue me now I'm just gonna I'm checking my box here that's because we go through in the future it's five dollars an hour five times that yeah you actually owe me 300 bucks but yeah I owe you 300 bucks in the future yeah I fear enough all right I might set my alarm for when that happens and just to make sure that 300 there we go my alarm's gonna go off when that happens when I owe you 300 dollars probably when I'm 78 and I'm gonna come knocking on your door for that 300 smackers right why does setting your alarm sound like you're

connecting to an old modem it's a it's a future alarm okay because it's not like on a normal phone where you can set it like days weeks ahead I've got it I'm talking years so I have to hook it up to what my phone's hooked up to in about 58 years which is a fax machine which is a special system that you guys don't know about yet anyway can I do my headline you're trying okay we're giving you so much time to come up with it well this was lucky because it's taken me a while but this one's again from our wonderful cryptid knights on patreon a button downer has sent this one through bless them thank you um but it turns out it's a little bit old uh the news I mean it's just come out well no it's just come out it's only out last month but the news is from 1953

but it was a prediction made by a scientist back in 1953 that a man called Elon would lead human to Mars I heard about this okay I'm very excited by that yeah that's uh that's coming up okay are we going with Reese's headline first let's go monkeys yeah let's go monkeys okay Marina Chapman credits her beloved granddad with saving her life after she was poisoned at the age of five this sounds familiar right Dan um low blow low blow but the grey-haired chap she's referring to isn't a man at all he's a monkey as bonkers as it might sound Marina from Bradford west York's claims she was raised by a family of capuchin monkeys after she was the victim of a bungled kidnapping in Colombia so here we go I'd like to share this now you wake up and you are surrounded

by 30 or so monkeys I don't know how many I couldn't count too many because I don't know I think there were more than eight and more than 10 and were you were you scared at the time were you scared of the monkeys what was your original reaction to those it was a mixed feeling I was just you feel scared but then at the same time you feel someone's there because when you are lonely for a long time you know you feel a little bit of comfort but then it's a little bit scared because they go power and when they push you backwards maybe they're trying to check if you are in danger or something I don't know the you know seems to be curious they had to go through that process I see was the tribe itself make sure that you weren't a threat and there was one moment that you say

there was a breakthrough with the with the monkey that you said was like the grandfather figure of of the truth that was a uet bark herb that was that burned you yeah it burns me yeah when you swallowed it and oh when you eat when you are who's telling this story mate I was quite hungry I was too many yeah and eventually this stomach you know like what we scripted remember makes you feel really you know whole and heart so you were ill and the monkey led you to he's like one of these cops that's like helping with the witness and so the guy dragged no he didn't drag me no let me just say that again he dragged you didn't he he dragged you didn't he remember the old guy there was the old one there look I don't I don't know how much I'm getting paid for this but I don't recall uh look

told you I told you what we're doing here okay you were raised by monkey it's worth saying just very quickly uh for anyone who's outside of the UK because sometimes these clips play and you think what are these tv shows that they're on you know is it sort of like weird cable channels and stuff but that was holly willoughby and philips gofield who are the presenters of possibly the the most watched breakfast tv show in the uk they are household names here so that's yeah that would have been seen by millions and millions of people presented as a very legit thing as well absolutely and I'm sure a lot of that is legit um it sounds mad as shit well she says at the age of four she found herself scared and alone in the heart of the unforgiving rainforest after being

snatched from her family's garden then dumped a few days later what by the monkeys well she's no she's 71 now no but did the monkeys drug her and kidnap her who drugged her and kidnapped those are bad monkeys don't listen I'm about to tell you oh thank goodness she cannot remember anything about her biological family or her life before she was kidnapped the day she was taken was the last time she saw them however she remembers the other family perfectly she estimates that she lived with the monkeys for around five years in the South American jungle after a few days she says the colony of capuchins welcomed her into their family and helped her survive in an environment teeming with hazards such as killer snakes bloodsucking insects poisonous plants and flash flooding

wow that's incredible she has vivid memories of these tree swinging creatures i.e monkeys teaching her how to forage for fruit and nuts helping her find fresh water and grooming her as if she was one of their own wow this happened in 1953 I think I saw buttons when was your prediction story my prediction was 1953 wow oh my god we've got two news articles from 1953 what is that that's weird the book is called uh the girl with no name which is uh the story of how she was raised by monkeys so yeah bit weird because her name is right under that marina Chapman well it's always weird isn't it this this whole idea of being stolen by monkeys well not stolen by monkeys but raised by monkeys because what she's four years old five years old so I mean

if I popped wilf into the jungle right now at his age he's he's turning four I I can't see how he would survive I can't see how he would have any understanding of how to do anything other than ask the monkeys to watch dino daner on amazon prime like there's like how how does that happen you really need hands-on monkeys to to go what's going to keep this thing alive because there's very different priorities to keeping a child versus a monkey alive I imagine yeah but here's where you're wrong we're very very similar and look I've had experience firsthand with the primate world when I visited the silverback gorillas mountain gorillas in Rwanda you know what I just watched that TV show the other day in trepid journeys well put a link up oh we should because

it's a really great series and I was gonna ask you about that because they seem so nurturing and I know that's mountain gorillas not capuchins but I'd love to hear about that because it seemed like if you left a four-year-old child with them they would genuinely care they would absolutely look after it I mean I was six feet away from this whole group of gorillas and I got to see the interactions which were very human I mean the male gorillas were actually giving the little baby gorillas like horsey rides and things like that and they were cuddling them and they were showing them how to poke a stick down an ant hole to pull out all the ants so they would lick it and then stick it down and then pull it up and they'd be covered in ants and then they're just like it

would be like a little candy stick for them and they were the adult was showing the the young ones how to do it and the young ones were just like fighting each other and they were getting told off and things like that and said no pay attention to you got to work out and put the stick down the hole you know just they were just acting like little toddlers and the dad was like getting angry and and then eventually they did it and I was you know I was watching that kind of stuff and I was amazed you can't really explain the sense of like likeness that we have and how you really felt like you were looking at bigger furrier humans it was in their eyes as well when they look at you they have this really deep sort of gaze at you it's a stare that has a lot of warmth

behind it and there's absolutely no menace there's nothing there and it makes you feel and well you know fall in love with them instantly and and you know it was a magical experience that's for sure so I can see how going back to the story that monkeys especially with a little tiny kid would do the same thing would especially the older ones and she spoke about that the granddad being the one that really helped her out actually treating her like she was just one of the regular monkey primates you know and just finding nuts foraging looking knowing where water is and and she would have been kept with them in their group and kept warm and all you got to do remember is just eat and drink to survive yeah yeah it's amazing I mean it doesn't serve the Hollywood movie that

well that she then relocates to Bradford in the UK like that is a cultural shit do we find out at what point she was sort of rescued or no I think gotta read the book still nothing in the article I think I think you got to read the whole book there for that and once again that book is for sale it's available it's called the girl with no name written by Marina Chapman who is the girl with a name but back then did not have one of course yeah exactly I don't want to cast shadow or doubt on her story or her book but I wonder what proof there is to it she actually underwent a series of tests including bone density scans which showed signs of severe malnutrition between the ages of six and ten which led to her growth being stunted

which matches the timeline of when she claims to have lived with the monkeys and they also hooked her up to a lie detector which proved that her subconscious brain registered images of capuchins with the same strength of feeling as pictures of her human family members wow so that worked and then as part of a special documentary they even took the five foot tall nana to the depths of the Colombian jungle where she actually scaled trees nored down palm fronds and cracked open a coconut with her teeth and she did all this at the age of 71 so you know it's looking like a no-brainer to me going for a walk in the bush with your grandma and she just starts cracking open coconuts with her teeth you'd be pretty awesome yeah can you can you

settle down and just get a bit embarrassing just if you could stop with the coconut cracking yeah imagine her on the monkey bars at the playground for the grandkids just owning it all right well that's that anyway oh that's great yeah great story so cool that she's talking about it as well and that she got out of it because i just quickly read the rest of her story you know when she was taken out of there it was by hunters who then sold her on as a sort of child to sex slave kind of territories and then she was rescued by someone and taken out of spoiler alerts spoiler alerts i mean hang on i've already put my order in for the book i'm gonna have to go back i'm afraid she was out with the old in with the new he's gone forward again oh no oh no

oh too far too far oh no oh no mama oh heck fuck whatever i don't know where i've gone now all right mate i'll be back soon i've just got to do the podcast okay i'm back guys i'm not sure sorry i don't kind of remember where i was going or why but don't that is literally the first time that you could legitimately say and we're back thank god what's what's been happening with the show i've i've completely honestly there was a great news article uh you did it and it was it's all over now so you don't have to bother with that

we can put that to bed so thank you for your contribution yeah well done you did great you did real great oh great it was exciting it was uh so exciting oh we laughed didn't we then oh we laughed yeah very good laugh was it so news that it was from the future oh sorry that was yours that was your copy written oh no that'll be 300 bucks thanks mate you didn't copyright it we talked to you out of it i don't think you did oh i didn't thanks oh i can't i can't even remember my audio signature anyway i'm quickly copywriting it now it's three minutes past three on the 16th of july so news it's from the future rsdabi rmw there we go it's not fair just because i couldn't remember my stupid audio signature

whose idea was an audio signature anyway stupid hey hang on looking at my claws here if you're to bring me down with my ideas particularly those ones there that's another two handy no i'm gonna be future bankrupt people be like oh i think you're only three days away from being bankrupt mr cookback you better better have fun now you got all those debts from that podcast you did you know 30 years ago come and do tomorrow so what yeah you look at the app on your phone and the pending is from 30 years ahead no that would be horrific we're gonna make sure i've got no money by the time you turn 75 yeah uh should i do my story yeah okay so this is the story that a scientist thinks that the extraterrestrials that we meet will be not biological so he believes

that once we are visited we're going to be visited by ai robots from other civilizations that have sent them so we need to train up our ai robots to be ready to meet them so that they can understand the same language as they're talking so right well this makes total sense makes absolute sense in in that respect you know you've got to have an algorithm that can take in immediately all of the the noise and information that they're putting out try and learn it really quickly and be able to basically reset a stone it just try and crack whatever it is and and talk back to them and this is an idea that has just been published in a scientific american article by a guy called avi lobe oh this is avi lobe avi lobe yeah we know him he's the uh oh moa moa alien theorist

exactly yeah as well as a doctor and all the rest of it yeah yeah so this is him he's the physicist who has been basically putting forward that idea that oh moa moa was a it was the first item that ever visited our solar system from out of the solar system that we've tracked and known about and there was very odd happenings with it and he believes that that was sent by extraterrestrials basically yeah so he says that we have to basically seed our civilizations into the universe via AI and his ideas are that we can do that by if you sent out 3d printers and they were able to copy themselves and print out the AI robots that we needed and they could teach themselves and become smarter along the way and evolve as they're going so because space is so ginormous that the idea of

us even getting to a local star would take millions of years we can't do it as humans so the idea is that if we can't do it we need to create the AI versions of us that can do it and seed the universe with that makes total sense because we can't get out there in the first place you know we just don't have the capabilities and we've got AI we're working on it let's create these things and send them out there but you're also you're suggesting that the aliens will be sending their AI and and that actually fits in with the the reports of people who have been abducted contactees sometimes believing that the creatures that they're dealing with are actually AI that's what some people believe there's there's people believe that the the grays in fact are definitely AI that they're not organic

creatures really you haven't heard that okay hey while you were talking about that dan also reminded me of an idea uh i say reminded i mean i came up with the idea as you're saying it so reminded me of myself as i was being reminded um about AI and and space and and how we could project ourselves as humans forward into deep space for exploration via the process of sci-fi robot ranges it's sci-fi robot ranges episode one this is the latest report we are entering near Neptune Roger that we need to go down to the uh source area to get our suits to get ready to get down on to the planet Roger Nigel we need to get our suits on

so that's just a small excerpt to wow is this earlier when you promised us that once episode has ended that's something new to be bought oh that's the teaser that's the teaser for the next oh man sci-fi robot ranges oh my god do you know do you know what i really want to do just really quickly yeah as Leon Kirkbeck um today's date is friday july the 16th 6 o 9 p.m just buttons how long is your contract that you got to set up to copyright things this is a thing i'm never going to get to own anything in the future page two initial rmd page three initial rmd page four initial rmd page five initial rmd page six rmd page seven rmd seven page contract this is going to be a big deal i think it's a big one so close dude you're so close and sci-fi robot ranges

but that means i'd have to actually write the series which we all know is would be a mess would be terrible so i'm glad you've helped me written it now you've got to do all the work to write the stupid hey i've got plenty of time as we all know any more on your article dan no i just think he's an interesting guy that we just should stay on top of his ideas because yeah absolutely he's he's out there and he's you know there's stuff about umo amor and the idea that maybe it was passing our son and energizing itself like a battery basically like a solar battery before it travels onwards hence all the odd movements and you know it's i don't know i haven't looked into any of the sort of evidence that he's claiming but the ideas

are just fascinating to to look at so this guy's building a big theory right now and this is his next step the idea that yeah the ai robots we keep looking at them as serving humans but actually what if what if that's what's going to seed the universe that's you know humanity's legacy potentially is a pretty fascinating idea yeah it's quite interesting i've been listening to a great podcast called the end of the world with josh clark if you haven't listened to you should listen to it it's quite a fascinating look at the existential crises that we as humans might face and one of them is ai coming online right and us creating this effectively a god our own god and there is a couple of famous quotes one of the guys at bletchley park that helped design

the enigma code crack Alan cheering no one well one of the people that were on it i can't remember the name of it because my memory is not very good but he had a quote that creating an ai to the level that it can actually create other creations will be the last invention that humans will ever have to make because once an ai is clever enough that will be the thing that does all of the creating the problem is that it'll start creating stuff that we don't even understand as humans it'll exceed our knowledge wait is this still the quote it's quite a long quote what was the what was the quote again in the future there'll be ai and it'll be the last invention something okay it's not a bad quote but it's not as good as this one hang on i'm just

gonna go find it out with the old and with the new wow wow that's that future question i can't wait till that i gotta come back yeah he's not back yet oh no stop going back oh shit there you go mate thank you guys what's happening and we're back oh god thank you we're back we'd i just get back for the start yeah you saved the audience from having to listen to me try and explain some quotes that i didn't quite remember about ai it was amazing well done yeah thank you i was just in the future that you'll never guess the biggest

show on television why are they uh oh did you just say really i thought you said you're the biggest show on television he paid to be in that wow i'm asked i'm telling you i'm about to tell you as i said you'll never guess the biggest show on television and then you went really high-fives high-fives space race yes yes sci-fi robot ranges sci-fi robot range 15 seasons they made of it so hopefully we're involved somehow i might have sold the idea i don't know i didn't have i didn't stick around too long had to come back get into this boring show again try and get through i just can't wait until you fast forward to the future and your quote is just boiled down to old new

it's just not even gonna exist i think it's gonna slowly transform into your amazing quote which was uh so news that it's from the future okay come on do your story okay well people on the podcast won't know this but you know lovely cryptid knights will know this from listening to our preamble that we were talking about the upcoming indiana jones movie yeah number five number five and that it involves the nazi story about them developing the v2 rocket and those scientists coming to america to help develop all of the rocket technology here is as part of the operation paperclip yeah funnily enough my story is exactly about that as well one of those scientists one of the more

famous ones was a guy called von braun yes of course the most famous the godfather of rockets yeah that's right and so werner von braun actually wrote a book and it's entitled mars project a technical tale now in this book from 1953 von braun has a statement in there at which is now seen as a prediction that's not a quote can we just confirm this is the station it's not a quote it's a quote of his prediction is he not good with quotes never no i'm i'm struggling to figure out what i am good at at this point but it's certainly not but to quote werner von braun's book oh so you're gonna do a quote now though he's quoting the statement i'm gonna try i'm if you give me a second are you gonna quote the

statement i'm gonna try and quote the book that all right werner von braun you're gonna quote the whole book get yourself comfortable i told you weren't good with quotes oh man i don't even know where i'm at now i'm lost hang on we'll go back go you just go from there from where now from here ah hey guys guys so there's a great story that i've got here and it's all about elon musk and he predicted back in october saying that in 2024 humans will set foot on mars 2024 okay which is not that far away no three years as it is but he didn't even know that an essay published in 1953 by werner von braun if you've heard of them have you heard of him he was part of operation paperclip yeah i mean he's the grandfather of

of rocket science yeah it feels like we've been over this territory before it's weird recently it's weird yeah it's like i've been boring people previously with this that's so unlikely so unlikely uh elon musk obviously ceo and founder of spacex his name is elon yeah which is kind of a weird name in itself quite unique don't know many elons while chapter 24 of dr werner von braun's book is called how mars is governed one of the sentences says the martian government was directed by 10 men the leader of home was called elon hang on a second but this book is that this is a prediction or is this a fictional well it is now idea well it's entitled mars project a technical tale is written by werner von braun it's a non-fiction

book right is it i mean that didn't sound that sounded like fiction how can it be non-fiction when he's talking about the future yeah so he says it says here wait is this is this new this book's news because if it's so news it could be from the future this is so news guys that's a quote from somewhere i can't remember who came up with that one but there's something that i'm i mean i've bought into it i've copy written it myself but it's it's an amazing quote i've got to keep this remind me to buy one of your t-shirts but that with your quote on it because honestly i want people to know how news i am i'm very new but look when this when braun's book came out in 53 yeah it must have been so news then when it came out that that it was from the future what was

so therefore i guess i'm what i'm asking is what are you talking about no i don't know i'm gonna it's a non-fiction book but he's obviously written a sort of fictional account of the future within it well it's they call it a non-fiction book that's not a standard it's an essay but he uses the narrative to explain to the average reader how a trip to mars might look in the future yeah wow and how we will get there to colonizing mars and it's just complete coincidence maybe or perhaps a foretelling of the future that he calls the leader of the trip to mars iwan that's amazing it's bottom line because you know you can use the word coincidence people use it people love using that word or you can use synchronicity you can use intelligent design you can say that

you know we are all living in something like the matrix that is already foretold and that's i'm starting to feel more and more like that's the vibe of this big snow globe that we all live in and it's little pieces of proof like that in some ways yeah deja vu's or reverse deja vu's you think i should probably copyright there but uh i'll let you have that one if you want i know you thank you yeah i'll copyright that one later once i remember what my audio signature is okay cool well here's here's something that's cool because you could imagine that maybe elon musk read all this kind of stuff as a kid and maybe that's what inspired him to think that mars is somewhere to go right um i've just brought up an article on it and december 30th 2020 so literally

on the brink of this being this year's news um elon musk wrote destiny destiny no escaping that for me on twitter and someone replied to him saying speaking about destiny did you know that von bronze 1953 book mars project referenced a person named elon who would bring humans to mars pretty nuts elon musk writes back are we sure this is real so he has never heard of it so he only learned about it in december of last year wow through somebody who went to a tweet that's incredible so that's pretty cool like that's that's new knowledge to him as well i just have to say dan in the future what i might actually do is send my news articles to you so that you can actually just make my stories a bit better because that's what i was trying to say you seem to say that

really well really quickly i took me like 15 minutes there's another word i've heard you know bandied around which might come uh of use to you just even just the thought of it and that is the word articulation ah is that like to to articulate to what does that do talk about and describe what you're talking about in a particular way that is easy to understand um i don't know if i can i'm not following you there sorry what anyway back to my news article um the one the one thing i do love about elon the whole reason why he wants to get to mars which i completely agree with this is that he wants to set foot on mars he wants to get people to mars for the sake of saving humanity and saving human life because the way that we're going now it's almost guaranteed that the world

is not going to be habitable for humans if we don't get humans out into space and start you know populating the universe then what were we all thought like we were sort of out in a flash in the pan and and so i i actually do really respect what he is doing and i think it's a really noble amazing he's an amazing character and he's he's polar to a lot of people they some people hate him some people love him but you know he's he's currently living in rented accommodation second richest man in the world is living in rented accommodation um a tiny little movable house you know like a trailer almost crazy one issue though we're going to mars so soon astrobiologists don't want us to do that because we still haven't yet worked out whether or not

life was there and as soon as life lands on there we're going to infect the chances of us understanding whether or not their once was other life in the universe and so they're desperately trying to stop these billionaires from setting foot there because as soon as that happens if we've not done a real canvassing of it we may never know if we were once joined or maybe even came over from there to begin with you know that's possible as well yeah that's one of the big theories for sure yeah so it's interesting if 2024 is when he's thinking we could do it there's going to be a lot of people in the science community sweating over that going no we may never find out so what's the issue with humans now stepping foot on there in what way will that

ruin what was already there or our chances of working out whether we were there in the past it's kind of just like contamination so it's germs it's bacteria it's yet any bit of life so the stuff that they send in to mars has to be so scrubbed clean that nothing is on there yeah but do you know right now there's a possibility because it was a chinese ship that was crashed into the surface of the moon and on board that was tardigrades they can survive anything basically like they're they're the real cockroach and it's possible that they survived the landing and they can survive on the moon so it's possible that there is life on the moon right now multiplying and by the time you get back there it's exciting yeah like that's pretty nuts how small are these

things they're like yeah they're microscopic almost i think right right yeah imagine next time a human lands on the moon and they're climbing down the ladder and they're about to like have a fantastic quote to to match armstrong's you know small step for mankind you're not writing the quote you're not you're not having anything to do with the quotes when they come through you're not going to say them as i hop off this ladder into the space realm of the moon there are things that i hate is he started quoting is this a quote or is this him talking you can't tell you don't know when the quote start when they stop with him oh that's not fair hang on i'm just looking through my sci-fi robot rangers scripts here i bought them back i bought managed to get

bring some back from the future and episode three yeah is actually about the moon and they're being life on it and that the the rangers discover it so that's just a little bit of a it possibly is these organisms that you're talking about dan maybe we did write these scripts maybe we are involved in this project i think we are no i think he's just stealing our ideas i think we've got to stop giving them all these great ideas who darby yeah is that who you're talking about no ask you and me he's taking all out like he's taking your who you're quoting now is this a quote this is a statement okay you're a statement guy but sort of more of a bank statement well how cool is that that elon's journey right now has been

as you say possibly predicted for time yeah by the grandfather of rocket science yeah i mean that's mind-blowing by the way at the same time this young kid was being raised by monkeys marina Chapman yeah von well she didn't have a name back then that's but but von brawn wrote their book yeah so cool so is there an argument that someone who knows how to live in wild circumstances and survive should be possibly the first human to set foot on mars should marina Chapman be sent as our opening astronaut because she knows how to survive the wilds she's been there that would be amazing she gets down off the ship you're right out there grud

there's a quote in here what what was that i did out with the old in with the new what you find how good would it be if she climbed down off the ladder and her quote was out with the old and with the new it's not quite small step for mankind but it'll do it'll do i think you're missing out on what actually did happen there uh buttons and that she found a quote inside a box on mars it was sealed yeah she opened it didn't you hear that yeah well no i heard her eat all the chinese microscopic bugs oh yeah she ate a lot of those bugs yeah tardigrades yeah one millimeter just as a fact check they're one millimeter wow they are tiny yeah yeah i mean you'd have to get

quite a few of those on your stick to have a meal you know i mean i wondered where you're going with that all right let's let's get into some cryptozoology attention old personnel it's time for this week's cryptid help me you guys got anything yeah i got one story which i think possibly you guys might have found as well is uh some bigfoot footage that has come across from michigan oh wow there's a quote i'm gonna read a quote here that's all right um here we go as long as it's not buttons doing it it's buttons territory do you want me to do it for you don't you'll ruin it my cousin was kayaking on the cass river here in michigan when he took this picture not sure what it is but i've sent it to a few people to see what they say some say it's bigfoot carrying a baby

bigfoot others say it's a bigfoot carrying a deer and so maybe i'll share a screen yeah please i saw this i'd love to have another look at this this is brand new yeah or is it from 1953 i'm not sure okay so what we're looking at here is a photo of potentially bigfoot with i don't know what that shadow is it looks like a bit like he's wearing swimwear sort of y-front swimwear um and it's just shadow oh is it shadowing okay so what's interesting is there's a picture but then there's also video as well of this bigfoot but it's really oddly put together video now what is going on there it's the it's oh wow yeah it's oddly put so what we're seeing here for the listener is this is someone's clearly sitting in a kayak traveling through um a river and in the distance

there appears to be something crossing the river there's definitely a a a figure and then what's this you've cut to a mountain shot yeah i don't know why it keeps cutting to mountain shots nice mountain shot this video footage can be likened to one of uh buttons quotes it's all over the place you can't tell where the starter is something in the middle there i mean that is absolutely it looks very convincing i mean it doesn't certainly look like a human and you know clothes and what have you it looks yeah what is he carrying he's carrying something so people say a deer but what i can't i can't make that out from the for a small unnamed child that it's gonna rear that oh i'm just saying i think you could be onto something there do we know what date this was

it's definitely recent wasn't the fifties now i would say yeah but look at the body it's definitely a sasquatch in my opinion and i think it then comes down to is it real or is it someone in a suit now you really need to and i would recommend all the listeners check this out michigan bigfoot video crossing cas river is what you're searching for check it out see what you think it's as clear as day the object and you can actually see there that he is carrying something on a shoulder and yeah you can see it's a baby deer you can see it's the size of the deer yeah that's really quite cool that's convincing to me yeah so the in this blog which is rmsobigfoot.blogspot.com so it's obviously a lot of people who want to work out what's going on here so the comments

looks like possibly carrying two young ones looks like an arm going around the thigh also as well as one on the side and shoulder i'm thinking that i also see what i think are three faces one being mum dad question mark and medium face and smaller one question mark so not many people saying reckon this is a hoax they're they're all sort of engaging with it really wow someone says here it looks like a guy carrying a dead deer so yeah there's a couple of people there's another one here it looks like a guy in a costume unlike patty so you know you've got a couple of naysayers yeah there always is that's true right at the bottom there but i i think it looks legit i don't think it looks like a costume because it's it's got sort of quite a good girth in the thighs and stuff

it's hard to replicate that kind of stuff it's the muscly legs and arms that always give it away for me like if you can see definition um then it's a go and i hate to say but that's quite a good quote actually i might probably like that if you see definition then it's a go that's quarter to four 16th of july re-starby rmw the good thing with that quote is you can actually use that for quite a few different things like if you're a photographer and you're taking a photo you go yeah i can see definition it's a go guys it's a go it's also good for um so we can use it for photography also for the dictionary yeah uh if you see the definition it's a go um so yeah i might might down a list of things that go with it on page two of the book

here isn't that similar to the quote that you had for me if you hear articulation it's a go i think that wasn't a quote that was just a word people bandy articulation and then i defined it for you because i don't think i think that was just advice i think that was genuine good advice that was open advice right not signing required you'll take that to heart that one yeah you won't owe me three handy for that in a few years because i know you won't you won't go anywhere with it your articulation is not going to change hey i may not have articulation but i've definitely got definition all right so yes i'm like high definition high depth low articulation i'm gonna buy these headphones what's the articulation like on these

not too bad actually now you want to these Kirkbecks aren't too good if i was you i mean put them on i mean what are you listening to an audiobook yeah let's listen to it wait what is this audiobook oh this is um oscar wilde's greatest quotes okay let's have a listen oscar wilde and he had some he had some quotes uh no i what other headphones are there i mean it's it's coming through clear but there's i can't understand what what he's saying but how's the definition the definition oh god it's so sadly so true what's okay it was what other crypto news that we got um okay this from the standard man sees large black cat with yellow eyes while driving along the m 56 near chester services yeah this is just come out 10 hours ago so very hot off the press

where was this race did you say on the m 56 near chester services and it rings a bell for me because i've definitely been to the chester services en route to some gig back in the day um i've been to chester many times for live comedy back in the day when they used to do that uh the witness called howard saw the creature while traveling along the inside lane of the motorway at elton he reported the sighting to puma watch north wiles the group set up to investigate and document such encounters in the region the group has received more and more reports from over the border cheshire and shropshire howard said i was traveling to work from flint on the m 56 uh i was on the inside lane at approximately 60 miles per hour i spotted the animal in a farmers field to

my left it jumped out of a drainage ditch in the field and lay down on its belly like it was in hunting mode classic cat behavior it was looking at the sheep in the field as i passed it i got a very good look at it it was the size of a large dog but was unmistakably a large cat which you do have to say straight after you've said it was the size of a large dog because then people are as a dog wouldn't but if you immediately go but it was unmistakably a large cat then you've saved yourself there uh it turned its head as i passed because how many times have we read these kind of things and you've both said oh it looks like a large dog yeah every time it turned its head as i passed and i could see the yellow in its eyes i mean i'm thinking like how

close was this guy to it because he was driving along the motorway and saw and but he reckons he saw the yellowness in its eyes i mean either this guy's got amazing eyesight or he was quite close he added i kept it in sight in my wing mirror as i went by and saw it turn and go back down into the drainage ditch seemingly spooked by the noise of the traffic i did consider going to try and find the farm that the fields belong to so i could warn the farmer but was unable to work out where the farm was north wales guys it's really becoming a hot spot for sightings yeah um and i know we get big cat reports come through almost weekly um from from the uk it's really getting more and more constant isn't it the abc reports so yeah so yeah there we have it is it possible

that maybe just cats are getting bigger that's good i like that like we just haven't acknowledged it yet but there's just a lot of big cats now i mean my two are looking a bit on the large size i'll be honest but that's just a lack of exercise their bone structure is still the same as your normal domestic tabby you're just feeding them too much i think so yeah they're the moany bastards yeah there's so many reports from the uk about big cats and just to back up your story and for all of those naysayers that go no there can't be big cats out in the wild where how on earth would they get there my little piece of crypto zoology news uh ties very nicely into this in the fact that a serval which is obviously a large cat uh has just recently escaped a north carolina petting zoo

and they've caught it and they've they've got it back into captivity which is great and obviously servals they're not that lethal to human life so they obviously wasn't that big a scare but the interesting thing with this escape the big cat was helped with the help from a pig what what happened apparently according to the owner of the petting zoo the cat called king sparta was released from the facility with distinct help from its friendly pig so it's there's the king sparta and the pig are friends and the pig actually helped the cat break the fence so that the king sparta could escape okay wait so go back a bit so who's king sparta the cat okay no no name for the pig no name for the pig doesn't get a name i'm sure it doesn't and look they haven't provided that many details

with the story to be fair how did the pig help him help break open the fence wow on purpose yeah wow inclusion it has to be right because they're friends and so he was like i know how i know how to get you out of here mate i've seen a witness you sure it wasn't like they were gonna gonna sort of go in cahoots together and the cat and the pig allow us we're gonna do this mate you and me what i need you to do um fatty is just to really push down on that fence yep as quick as you can and honestly the two of us are going to be out of here in no time all right i'm away spot you you can't quite get through gany big pig is it the pig not get through is that what we're saying

he was sort of accomplice but yeah the pig didn't escape the pig was still back at the zoo oh no that's how i see it the cat used him how are cats alike oh cheeky buggers if it was a dog if he had to help the dog escape the dog would have waited yeah but no not the cat right why is the dog escaping well if i'm just saying if it was a dog because dogs are more loyal aren't they and so if the pig helped the dog escape dog would have hung out and waited yeah he would have like helped him get through yeah but the cat was just like nah i'm out mate thank you i think he felt like he used him that's how i imagine it was this a big cat buttons or was it just a cat so they're not that big they're quite big they're bigger than normal cats right yeah they're a big

cat but they're on the smaller side of big cats how big was the pig that's the most important thing yeah it was huge because the reason i say that is because i worked with pigs recently and massive ones and i'm talking gigantic they can be so big like small hippos really the ones i worked with well you're gonna be careful with you making quotes like people could clip that out and be like Rhys Darby says i was working with some real pigs recently and you could they could be kind of like frame that is that you like your co-stars well they will now you've told people to cut it out that's my career done i'm over it's over i know i've been trying to bring you down for years i've finally finally got you that story was just made up i just wanted you to say that quote that was a

great quote by the way i'm gonna have that on a t-shirt and everything what was my quote again i've worked with some real pigs lately Rhys Darby 2021 hey you can't copy what my stuff with my own name you won't know my audio signature anymore you can't you can't do it Rhys Darby no that's not it that's not it it's pretty good bootleg i don't say Rhys Darby i would i would have bought that on ebay thinking it was a t-shirt oh it's not it at all i don't even say my first name in my signature don't you no haven't you been listening how does it go again well let's go back and let's hope we can listen to one of these examples of it hang on hang on with the old and with the new oh hang on fuck i've gone forward again granddad yes Rhys uh yes but i'm i'm i'm Rhys how could this

be oh no oh god i've given myself a heart attack fuck this is gone horribly wrong i'm just gonna grab these i'm just gonna grab a couple more scripts and get back all right mate thank you cheers and we're back who's in the car i'm so curious who's driving i've got some horrible news guys why i accidentally gave myself a heart attack in the future by revealing myself to myself what did you reveal do you know what that's the complete reverse of the time travel paradox the grandfather paradox you've gone instead of going into the past and killing your grandfather

you've gone into the future and killed yourself as a grandfather you've got it all wrong it's typical of me you know never quite gets it right oh i gave myself such a shock i don't even know why i went there again i had to get the signature there's no signature at the end of it yeah also the way it works is when you get there to be him it's going to be you from a previous timeline coming so you should have expected that you would be there oh yeah you should know the you now knows that that is on the way it should have been it should have been like oh Rhys at last i remember this oh yeah yeah i'm so forgetful though i think people don't take that into consideration

into what you just there's a little bit of a problem with your articulation there take it take it into what and to what's that mate am i being belittled by the king of articulation oh i don't like when mum and dad fight this is stomach oh my god oh well from the king of articulation to the king of definition oh this has been a wonderful time guys yeah we actually did some cryptid news this time it's yeah now we've got to do more cryptid stuff because you know that is the heart and soul of the show although i think it's safe to say that weekly world weird news really is the heart and i also think it's safe to say that the true heart is the three of us and i'd even go deeper and

saying that buttons is the actual beating heart of the show and dan and i are nothing but very very important organs that are connected to you well that's lovely of you to say but that's only possibly true because this is my simulation and my matrix and i've created both of you guys for this very much like i created von brawn and the elon musk and created that so and the in the cfu which is the cryptid factor universe that you've created yeah you're you've created literally everything you're you're in the middle of it yeah this is i created everything everything that we do is pre-ordained by you yeah which really surprises me because of the amount of flak i give you you wanted this you've written it you love it why have you made us articulate

but left yourself or flabby what's that's weird because i'm generous guys i may not be articulate but i'm very generous with my figments of my imagination okay that's true yeah all i can say is thank you thank you so much for creating us yeah it's the least i could do i look forward to seeing where this is going and in the meantime i've got to write two bumper issues of the uh wrap and now i've got a new uh show to create uh and get that up up to speed sci-fi robot ranges you may have to call the television show that you're working on and just tell them that just put it off for a week can you just hold this is great but i've got you know i've got uh double bumper wrappersodes to write and i've got this new thing the sci-fi robot ranges as well which uh

you know it's not going to write itself let's be honest so any chance i could maybe not come in this week i mean it's just all part of because i'm in the cfu so uh i don't know has his buttons written this part as well i'm not sure whether the this pirate show is actually supposed to be happening is it whose universe is that part of i feel like i'm being torn in many directions here what's that out with the old and with the new fuck i haven't heard that before i see whoever's written your family life things are definitely fallen off by the way side you haven't seen your family for days you're trapped in another country you can't get back it's like what happened to dad hey and that's another proof point that this is my matrix and i'm writing

my own story yes it's blissful oh i'm stuck in america without my kids who would have written that into their story oh my gosh what a shame by the way your story earlier how was that a cryptid story there's a cat we knew about playing with a pig and escaped probably guys i've just got to write into my matrix i've just got right into the story that we've got to wrap up now because i'm just writing into my matrix that i'm going to go have some dinner so sorry we're out of time to answer that question for you very very sorry we're out of time to answer your questions dad but in my little matrix we're out of time he's written us out what a shame what a shame oh try and remember to write that answer into the next cryptid factor universe episode okay okay yeah that's

hang on my driver's back oh hey hey man are you getting in yeah i think we're just wrapping up now i just better check with the writer is it this is done this is yeah you can tell him that you're you're finished now thank you okay yep now i'm good to go who are you by the way hey me it's um my i shouldn't really say but um i'm you from the future what yeah quick get in get in yeah you you know get in now out with the old and with the new okay sci-fi robot rangers coming soon all right he's written himself into sci-fi for the race and it looks like the whole cast is him

and on that note goodbye goodbye see you next week definitely two episodes coming so fuck i've got a lot of work to do i'm gonna start i'm gonna start now okay um boom boom i can't even remember how the beat goes right beat check out the beat continue on with story wrap it up check with buttons as he's actually writing everything oh you guys are still here yeah i'll call you back later once i've written the wrap for you okay yeah