The Cryptid Factor - 71: #071 The Belated Christmas Issue

Episode Date: January 13, 2022

Due to Buttons being busy having a southern hemisphere summer holiday, this Christmas special clearly is well ​late (which he apologies for profusely) but it's worth the wait - not least due to the amazing ____________*1 as well as the ____________*2! In here you'll find news on time travelers from Mars, theoretically Anthrax ridden conspiracy theorists and auto-replicating Pacman-esque xenobots made from frog cells... in a dish non the less! Also; some new Bigfoot footage from Georgia along with some old footage from a cowboy, alien bases below the ice, an expletive ridden speed sighting and a Jelly fish with ​30ft ​mouth-arms... or is it arse-hands... you decide!

The Cryptid Factor with Rhys Darby and Dan Schreiber. Ho ho ho, and off we go. We three guys who you all know. It's the end of the year, and we're still here. The bear is of the weird. You're havin' a three-way, a vibus recap. Back door, side door, premiere, it's still the same. There's nothing in the frame but you.

That's gonna be my new Christmas Carol highlight every year. It's not Christmas until that Carol gets played. Wow, that's amazing. I just wrote that then. You should do more of that. Three-way. That's all I can see. It's just a three-way.

Wow. And did you have a tune in mind? Was that on the fly? I had a couple of tunes I knew could fit in there. Change it up halfway through. Do you know what? That could be the Cryptid Factor's first NFT. Oh.

Okay. Wow. What's an NFT again? An NFT. This is Dan. Work into a 21st century. It's a non-fungible token. And it means that's something you can't funge.

And you can sell it on the internet for lots of money because it's a way to prove that that is the only version of it or the very first version of something digital. Okay. Wow, there's NFTs explained for you folks just in case you didn't need it. Wow. I don't think we're gonna start the show with that.

Merry Christmas. That's the biggest gift you could be given. Oh my God. Merry Christmas, Dan. I'd heard the term and I kind of understood but I didn't fully get it. What is funger word? Fung.

It does sound fun. I think it's a new internet word. It's like fund but funge. It is a word, right? Yeah, it sounds it. It is. Hang on. Have I got that wrong?

Is it fun, fudgeable? Non-fudgeable? Because fudgeable, like, you fudge something. Oh, I fudged that. Or is it fungible? I think they might have created a new word. I think it is. Because it's like a mixture of funding and fudging.

Fudging. I think so. But I don't know. I'm not an NFT guy. There's nothing there. I'm not an internet guy. Oh, my God. We haven't talked for a couple of weeks and this is the...

We're starting talking about funding the fudge. Do you know about the metaverse, Dan? I have. It had its first groping scandal today. Oh, really? What? The metaverse. Yeah.

I didn't read into it yet but, yeah, some accusation made. Some online groping. Within the metaverse. See, that's it. It's all gone downhill. That was meant to be a safe place for people and that's obviously... It's backfired. Straight away.

Shut it down. Well, I'm not going there now. I'm not going to the metaverse. Especially not dressed like this. Tell us how you dress. I have a silk kimono on and a Santa hat and my funky glasses with the blue lenses. And Dan, what does he look like? What does he look like?

Oh, God. I don't know. Like, to me, a sort of creepy uncle who's... Merry Christmas, kids. Is your mother home? Well, I do think it would be a cool look to have Reese sitting in malls. Oh, yes. When you look Santa.

Yeah. I think that's quite fun. It'd be awesome to have that option when you walk into an LA mall and, you know, you go, who do you want to be your Santa? And there's a lineup of Santas there. Well, there'd be a screen, wouldn't there? There'd be a screen and you just tap which one you want. And then if it was me, I'd get an indication on my phone or something, a bit of a vibrate

and then I'd have to go through and to the section. Hello. I'm looking for a Leon Kirkbeck. Has chosen me. A Leon Kirkbeck. Oh, God, it's you. I want to tell you what I want for Christmas. I want to know what an NFT is, please.

Is that possible? I'm sick of hearing your NFT stuff, mate. Wow. I can't believe it's Christmas time, guys. It's like, this is so exciting. Like literally here in New Zealand, it is tomorrow. I get all the Christmas presents tomorrow. Oh, really?

Because you're on the 24th, are you? Yeah. Oh, wow. God, you've just managed to squeeze this in. I know, I know. This is the unofficial Christmas episode, by the way, and I say unofficial because I'm the only one that obviously dressed up thinking to myself,

well, it is pretty much Christmas. Surely the other guys, oh, hang on, Dan now has a crown on his head. Yeah, we three kings. Oh, good, good. Oh, yeah. And I wore my, because it's summertime here in New Zealand and I wore my summertime Christmas bucket hat.

OK, good. OK. But if you take the word Christmas out of that, it's just a bucket hat, isn't it? You made it a Christmas bucket hat by just adding the word Christmas. Wow, I never wear bucket hats, so it's a special occasion. I'm wearing my Christmas headphones, guys.

See? I mean, they're just normal silver headphones, but they're Christmas ones because I've just added the word Christmas. It's a bit Victorian sort of urchin button to his hat. Maybe it's a Christmas carol, like tiny two. Oh, yes.

I'm just trying to help out here, buttons. Thank you, thank you so much, Dan. But also, a bucket hat's supposed to look this awkward, or is it just, is my head not in the right shape for it? I think it feels like, to me, it's too small for your head. Or is my head too big for the hat? Yeah, both. It looks like a lady's bonnet.

I can't make it look cool. Anyway, a lot of this will be edited out, so let's move on to everyone's favourite final section. It's... Favourite final section. Oh, is that what I said, favourite final section of the year? Yeah, is that the section we're going into? We're going into the final section,

so we are going to have to come back after that and do the other section. That's the sections of the buys, so if we just quickly cover off the buys now. Oh, Merry Christmas, everyone. Merry Christmas, everyone. Hopefully we'll see you next year at some point. We're aiming for January.

We're definitely going to hit you in Feb. Okay, now, now back to another section. Okay, good, that was a good save. Well done, buttons. So now, let's do the first section that we always do. But when I say final, it's the final one of the year for this particular section. And of course it is.

Weekly World Weird News. Crazy, freaky, watch out. Now, I don't know about you guys, but I found there was quite a lot of weird news in the last couple of weeks. Both animal-related and just general weirdness. So let's go through what we've got and see what we get out of it.

Shall we kick off with some headlines? Because I've got to say, my headline, I think, is probably the best one in the entire year for me. Wow. Wow. What a big call. Not necessarily, just because it's just so many weird words thrown together.

Okay. Yeah, you go first. Here we go. Living robots made from frog cells can replicate themselves in a dish. Brilliant. Living robots, frog cells,

replicate dish. Great. Words that I never ever thought would have been in a headline all together. I have to say, I'm surprised dish was an exciting word that you included in that shorter summary.

Yeah. Living robots and dish finally in a sentence together. It's such a great word, dish. It is a good word. It's very simple, but there's no two ways about it. We know what a dish is. There's, you know, apart from

satellite dish and the dish that you would put other things in. It's still the same kind of shape. That's big news. That's big news for the year. What do you got, Dan? I have a group of people get sick at a conspiracy theory conference.

However, instead of assuming that it is COVID, they think they've been poisoned by anthrax and created a conspiracy theory within their own conspiracy theory conference. Wow. That's amazing. Dan, you've just been sick the last few days.

Yes. Have you been going to conspiracy theory conferences? Is this something you love to share? I would love to share. I think that would be so interesting. This was in Dallas, I believe. So, no, I wasn't there. I was in the local

South London conspiracy theory halls, which are much less glamorous. Yeah, no, conspiracy theory erupts at conspiracy theory conference. I think is a pretty good, exciting headline there. To be fair, that is better than

living robots, frog cells and dish. Well, what do you serve up anthrax in? A dish. A dish! You could have added dish into your headline there and made it slightly better.

So, missed opportunity there. Derb's what you got? Well, I've got a classic Derb's one. Time Traveler from 3812 claims she has photos from Mars. Oh, guys, I finally think I have the best

news story with frog cells and replicate and living robots and both your stories sound freaking amazing. Time travel in conspiracy theory. No, yours is nice too. That's the trouble. When you go first,

there's a lot of pressure, obviously, on the other two of us to up our game. So, we go through our quick list and go, oh, what's going to compete with that? I've just had to make something up in order to compete with that. Oh, man.

Well, go into that because you know how much I love time travel. Derb's what you kick off. This is very new. I found this in the Ladd Bible. Basically, a woman who claims to be a time traveler believes she has been to Mars in the year 3812.

Having taken a photo of what she says is the red planet in the future. The 37-year-old, known only as Mary, spoke about her supposed travels in the 3000s in a video saying Mars had become

very frightening. In the clip, which is on YouTube and we can have a look at this clip in a second, we see her holding a photo that apparently shows buildings on Mars along with the spaceships that Mary and her companions had arrived in.

Now, she explained, so, I appeared on Mars. It looked like a desert with many buildings. I immediately took a photo. You can see the spaceships on which we came and you can see the buildings.

I'm going to pause it there just in case she says all this in the video, because it would be great having it from her own voice. So, let's have a look at this now. So, I appeared on Mars. It looked like a desert where many buildings I immediately take a photo

which I will show right now. What? That's not her voice though, is it? That's a voice in the room. Look, this is the photo I had taken in Mars. Here, you can see

the spaceships on which we came. You also can see buildings. Wait. That's the photo? Mars were very interesting and... What is going on?

very frightening. We wore special clothes and started to have a walk. People found life in the Mars. Reptiles who didn't need

oxygen to leave. Makes no sense. We went to Mars where people found it expensive metals. I should also notice that metals are not like metals of our planet.

I thought people worked at that Mars, but only robots worked. Some of them had intelligence and some were only for hard work. Well, that's like just normal life, isn't it?

Like, some people have intelligence and others just work, just like me. Wow, what do we... It wasn't worth listening to her then. The problem is she's clearly been overdubbed because we're seeing the picture

of it as clearly a woman sitting down outside in some kind of external building structure type thing. Really weird place to film someone. So strange. But blurred out her entire face. But also, the blur is

either they've overblurred or she has a massive head. Because that blur. Yeah, there's too much blur. No need for that. Also, her voice is clearly not her voice because, as you could tell,

that was an overdub of somebody in a studio or in a room. But then she just sort of whips out this photo from behind her. When she was showing a photo, it wasn't shown it on a laptop or a Android camera.

She's got the snappy snaps. Snappy snaps. Do you mind now? Just careful with this one because this is actually a photo from a thousand years in the future. So just, yeah. What sort of border would I like?

Can I have a white border with a black frame? Don't worry about the anti-glare. So it says here, there's obviously been a lot of complaints and a lot of people not believing this. Someone has claimed

the photo may have been a concept photo from NASA, writing, first she never took that photo on Mars. She took that photo from the internet. It's a NASA concept photo for the colonization of Mars. And a third person says, so you time travel.

You see amazing things and you have a camera and you only take one photo. Someone else has put I would love to time travel 22 minutes into the past to stop myself from watching this video.

So the photo we should describe it for the listener is a bit, it looks very futuristic. It looks like the pods that you saw if you saw the movie The Martian sort of to the left

where the sort of camp would be for where the base would have been set in. There's buildings in the background. It sort of gets a bit more door in the back, you know, giant, spiky towers. But it's clearly just

a photoshopped thing that she's printed out. I mean, my big question is why put this out? Why is this so unbelievable? Is it because they're waiting for someone like me

in a silk dresser gown and a Santa hat and blue funky glasses to push this out into the ethos as legit? Yes! Mission achieved! Yes!

Very tiny thing, don't want to distract from the main story, but I'm interested in her fingernails here. She's gone on one hand three light blue and one entirely glittery silver. And then if you look to the other hand,

it's three and a half blue What's going on there? That's not credible at all. I'm sorry, that's not credible. You know I just looked up the very first claim of somebody being a time traveler

is all the way back in the mid 1800s. When somebody first claimed to have traveled to the future. Yeah, so it's obviously been happening for a long time, but of course unless you've got an old polaroid picture from Mars, which just happens to

be the same picture as what NASA is using for their promotional clip, which you could argue is maybe that NASA has actually made the exact thing that they predicted they would make and they've made it and she's taken a photo of what NASA made, so you could argue that.

But it's like, how do you prove that you have time traveled? How do you, when you come back and say guys, holy shit, I just went to the future. Why did you see all the stuff that everybody expects is going to happen? Can't prove it. Even with a photo

or bringing something back people are still going to be skeptical because, you know, what we can do with technology these days is and then you put your own word in there. You know what I mean?

That's one of my new things and I can't think of a word. I'm just going to let other people put a word in. So why was LabBible reporting on this? How did this story get out there? I know. Well, it's, look,

I've been on LabBible a few times because they do have interesting stuff. Yeah, absolutely. It's just a website and I think it really is it's sort of clickbait headline, isn't it really? Because everyone, I always like clicking on the time travel people

who claim or have some sort of very, very loose evidence and it's never really believable, but it's always worth clicking on just to have a laugh really, you know, and this one is definitely, I feel personally sort of bottom of the barrel

really. Didn't read it before I chatted to you guys about it, obviously. I really like and I think that's the way to go. Also, I think we almost brushed over there the fact that you've introduced a new little thing into the cryptid factor

of where you just leave a vacant pause for people to put their own descriptive word into. I actually really love that. I think you just need to put like a little asterisk and what number it is and then people can write to us and what word they filled in to that space. So they

throughout the podcast you go, at asterisk number one, I used the word hippopotamus. Good. Well, that one I just did earlier then that is asterisk number one. Okay, so when the fans come through, I want to see what they've put in there

in that place. There may be more depending on how my brain works this show. More importantly, doesn't work. The brain doesn't work. Insects. Hey buttons, who was

the 1800 time traveler? Yeah, it's actually a branch. It's called the the Mobili Jordan incident or the ghost of Petit Trinon or Versailles. It refers to claims of time travel and hauntings

made by Charlotte and Mobili and Eleanor Jordan and they published a book entitled An Adventure and they basically their book describes a visit they made to Petit Trinon and

where they claim they saw ghosts including Marie Antoinette and others and their story caused a sensation and was subject to much ridicule just like just like Reese's story. It's not my story.

No, no, no, no, no. Glad Bibles. It sounds like a ghost story that you've just told us as opposed to a time travel. Oh, sorry it was time travel and hauntings. So a little bit about it. Well, every ghost story really

is a time travel story. I think that's exactly exactly. There is but there is so many fascinating like Wikipedia is full of them. There's like and there's all those classic photos, you know, that people

bring up of somebody who looks totally out of place in a scene and there's this one, the 1941 bridge opening. There's a photograph of a guy and authenticity has been proven. It's not like it's been photoshopped or anything like that.

And amongst a whole bunch of people wearing hats very much like mine of the day, there's a dude standing there with sunglasses on, a t-shirt and a hoodie. Yeah, but I would argue that whoever this guy was, was the Reese Darby

of his day because if Reese goes out right now, dressed as he is and someone takes his snap. Yeah, it's so true. He had just finished a podcast The Christmas Special and he had dressed up as somebody like of the

future and there he is. This is the guy, they call him the time traveling hipster. Yeah, I've seen this photo. I love this. Yeah, he's wearing sunglasses on that quite cool little sort of petite sunglasses with the little sun shields on the sides

of them that sort of make them sort of wrap around. Nobody else is wearing sunglasses. Everybody else is wearing top hats and what have you. He isn't and he's wearing what is clearly a t-shirt with like a feels, looks like a screen printed

letter M. Yeah, it looks like he's, it looks like he's wearing a Superman outfit underneath there. That looks like a super and it looks like he's just got the logo wrong. Like he's, he's putting man instead of super. The S, he's put the M but it does look like it. It looks like

he's about to rip it off in a in a Superman sense. But why a bridge opening? Why did a time traveler go back like this, like you've said in the past Dan, that there's theories that the Titanic sunk because so many time travelers all turned up to see the sinking which caused the sinking

which creates this eternal loop of what did have sunk if time travelers didn't go. And then he's turned up to go and he's turned up to a bridge opening. British Columbia. We need to look at what was happening that day. Is that bridge something significant may have happened

with that bridge you see? Or maybe it's about to, maybe it is yet to. Or maybe he needed to cross the bridge to get to the significant event but he stupidly didn't look up that it was the day they opened the bridge and it was going to be packed with people. So he's caught up in traffic on the way.

Alright let's do another story. Yeah Dan, your turn. Okay yeah so my story got this from Vice this week. A group of conspiracy theorists got sick at a conspiracy theory conference and I convinced there's a conspiracy theory that made the mill. So

this is, it was a conference that was held in Dallas. It's called the Reawaken America tour. Very big. You know Eric Trump came and did a talk there, Roger Stone. These sort of big names on the right. And basically a bunch of people there

suddenly it was about a dozen people started getting a cough you know, getting a bit ill all the symptoms of COVID-19 but they're convinced that it's not COVID-19. So what they said is that they believed that they were poisoned with anthrax

and they think obviously someone did that on purpose. Wanted to stop them from getting their messages apart. So there was a guy who was called Joe Altman and he has a conservative daily podcast and in a recording

he's coughing, he's sneezing on camera and he said there's a 99% chance it's anthrax 99% 99% chance it's anthrax even though it's very high that's quite high and even according to the article

no one had tested positive for anthrax poisoning and none of the other 3,500 people claimed to have any side effects or any effects of all of anthrax he still thinks that that's what it was but he says that he didn't get as sick as he could have got

because he happened to already be taking an antibiotic which he was taking as a result of impaling his leg on an arrow in an incident in his brother's garage a few weeks previous I want to know that's the story

screw the anthrax how did he injure himself with an arrow in his brother's garage wow and why was he taking antibiotics what was on the arrow that gave him an infection yeah well it must have been rusty or something yeah it must have been a

gangrene situation so he claims that he had anthrax off as a result of this there was another person who had more severe symptoms he was called Jovan Pulitzer and Pulitzer is an inventor he invented a barcode scanner

which has been listed on a big list as one of the 50 worst inventions ever so he was another guy involved in the situation here do you know what that's actually a conspiracy that's why he was at the conspiracy theory conference

his invention is actually supposed to be one of the 50 best inventions of all time his barcode scanner well barcode scanner sounds fantastic doesn't it yeah well we use barcode scanners every day in retail so how does that exactly does his one not work or maybe it was already invented

and then he turned up with his one maybe that's why yeah that's a bad invention we've got that we've already got that I'm afraid it's great but we have we have got it so we're gonna have to put that on the bad list no but they stole it from him there's a that's another conspiracy to see all these layers of conspiracies

they stole his idea of a bar scanner and then released it and then he came out said no it's my barcode scanner and they're like no it's not conspiracy see it's easy to be a conspiracy theorist you just disagree with everybody yeah it's easy it's fun it's very popular

how do you the thing is all I know of anthrax is that it kills like it's how do you have a little bit of anthrax poisoning I thought it just kills you I thought you had just sniff it and then you like nerve damage and like how do they all

have a little bit of anthrax poisoning yeah exactly I think that's where the the idea falls a bit flat that's where Dan's news article falls down we've had two failures here so now let's set it up

for buttons as big piece of news that can't go wrong we've done you a great favor here by having a couple of shit ones oh thank you thank you guys it's so good that we made up on the spot what can I give you one last detail about Pulitzer the barcode man

that I've just read Pulitzer claims we've written 300 books on history his books include how to cut off your arm and eat your dog plus other recipes to survive what oh my god

I've are you kidding me can I order this I'm writing this in right now we've got to get it to Pulitzer this is his one line biography on wikipedia Pulitzer says he began in marketing age nine selling rabbit meat to restaurants

he is divorced that's it that's in the personal life section of his wikipedia do you know what I reckon we should start an award ceremony called the other Pulitzer prize

you know if you win the Pulitzer prize it's either you've done something great that there's a big conspiracy around it or you've written a book with the weirdest title ever and you can win this each year let's see the encrypted factor the other Pulitzer prize

yes one of the 50 worst prizes you could ever win we've already got a Pulitzer prize it's on good reads it's got three out of five there's only two votes for it but it's a three out of five rating it's amazing

okay I'm in I'm all in for the Pulitzer prize okay can I just read the little the thing for it the cover the colour that's so funny because the title again is how to cut off your arm and eat your dog plus other recipes for survival

the artwork on the cover is a picture of a gorgeous looking dog a doberman or something and in its mouth is a bloodied cut off hand the dog is eating the hand so they've kind of screwed up there because how to eat your dog it's actually how the

dog eats you is effectively what they're showing with the picture well no when it came down to the the pitch for the drawing the guy would have said look okay so you want the dog in there yep because you've got to eat the dog and also you want your arm cut off how about

just to save room on the space we put the arm inside the dog's mouth I mean it's not going to work out for what I'm talking about yeah but artistically it's going to look good and it's going to fit in the space that's all I'm offering you but that's not it doesn't work out with the book but the idea looks listen mate I'm going to be honest

with you I've already drawn it and it's coming to you shortly and you know you're out of time here so I think that's what's happened so on Goodreads it says could you cut off your own arm so you could live

would you eat your own beloved dog if your survival or the survival of your family depended on it the human condition is to learn only in tough times what? but who wants to learn when the chips are down and their very life depends

on their decisions so they're basically saying learn now before the tough times kick in I don't know that I want to learn this stuff until the tough times kick in I just I want to learn whether I can do that at the point I have to do it that's the only time you'll have to do it you don't need to learn to do it now

and then and you know when the tough times do kick in you know there's a disaster or something and you suddenly you've gone oh I've got to eat the dog and I wish I'd prepared for that I wish I'd read a book that told me that I'm going to have to eat the dog I know I've got to eat the bloody dog okay it's a mental shift that you have to

make when there's nothing else you can do that's why he's only got three stars exactly as soon as he's got two ratings I can't believe two people have bought it and read it he's better off in that book teaching people how to do Morse code at least that's something that you can prepare yourself for in a disaster

if you know Morse code it's not something you can suddenly switch on when the disaster happens unlike eating a dog or soaring your arm off like that movie shit I soared my arm off look at this this is Amazon page amazon.co.uk

here are his books that you can get so the patent the patented works of J. Hunt and Pulitzer and it's patent number 8,712,835 so specifically that patent number which is methods and apparatus

for linking a web browser link to a promotional offer that's the book it's 134 pages long how much is it it's £6.81 I'm buying it right now I'm buying it right now

that's amazing you're the first sale he's ever had this is the same guy that's putting out these articles on the red bible knowing that I'm going to click on them he's like how do we get down to click on something I know wow

he sold in the mid-2000s bottled rain water under the brand pure rain pure rain oh that's great yeah he claims to have filed over 100 patents to be the most prolific inventor since Thomas Edison I'm in love with this man

I guarantee you he's doing NFTs on the metaverse oh shit I'm bored with that now tell us about these dishes well I really hope I can save the weekly world news this week I'm feeling a little bit anxious

about this this is from newscientists.com the title once again living robots made from frog cells can replicate themselves in a dish swarms of tiny living robots can self-replicate in a dish

by pushing loose cells together the xenobots made from frog cells are the first multi-cellular organisms found to reproduce in this way so these xenobots that were first created only as recently as last year

and so they're only just figuring out how to use these little xenobot things which are obviously microscopic how are they different to nanobots I want to know these ones are cooler because they've got an X in their name

but it sounds like it's a Z are they even smaller or are they just like more capable these are really tricky questions sorry man I didn't mean to interrupt but just a fan here was a couple of questions

so xenobots are named after African clawed frogs which are xenopus labvis some Latin they're synthetic life forms that are designed by computers to perform some desired function and built by combining

together different biological tissues so it sounds like they have an organic nature to them this is why they were able to replicate living things this is a really interesting final sentence here whether xenobots are robots, organisms or something else entirely

remains a subject of debate amongst scientists how interesting is that? I reckon I know what they are here we go guys get the trumpets out I'm going to show you a picture of what one of these xenobots do

I'll finish because what they've effectively done is they've created these little cells they come together and they start creating other cells so they start replicating themselves which is of course

the theme for so many science fiction movies where they create these tiny little things and they put them inside people and then they become a fish human or whatever the movie might be this is what they're working towards and so what's happening is that these little cells

actually go around and they push all of these all of the insert word of your choice here that's asterisk 2 oh man you can actually probably do insert paragraph

of your choice I don't think I'm winning this news article I think it's the opposite I think it's edit out paragraph of your choice here oh my god well okay

so what they've done is that they've made these things basically push around the organisms to a point where they start making more of them and start replicating and so they've started messing around with what they're calling the parent

cells and helping them to generate the child cell which doesn't sound like that's how sounds actually kind of terrifying there's not much love involved but there's certainly a lot of rubbing by the looks of it a lot of pushing a lot of pushing they actually

they actually say here though that this the amazing thing is is that it's the first time multi cellular organisms have been found to self-replicate in a way that doesn't involve growth on the organism's

own body so how do they what are they doing wow this is the thing the quote from the scientist who's been running this says this work shows there was a previously unknown way that life could self-replicate

that they previously didn't know about that's huge so much there's a wife just running through in the background out of the shower wow there's

I'm doing a podcast in our bedroom and she's running so you don't end up self-replicating with her quick we're going to push themselves into a corner this is God the night's going to get a real treat this week I tell you what it's worth

the subscription if you haven't already things are really heating up here in the video world of the cryptid night you certainly wouldn't want to pay to get the news articles this week because even my most exciting news article of all year

I can't even figure it out myself as soon as you said the headline I thought none of us are going to be able to work out the science of this actually oh god it's too I shouldn't go to new scientists to get my news I knew

I saw the link and I knew I shouldn't have clicked on it you need like a child lock thing on it like kids can't click on certain sites I gotta show the reason why it caught my attention so if you see here the screen there's a big red blob yep with a little cut in it it's like

Pac-Man exactly it's Pac-Man eating a little green thing yeah eating a ghost well he's a little dot anyway oh yeah the dots course yeah yeah I just found that basically science looks like a Pac-Man game

it was a terrible news article I'm so sorry so that that was your big finale just showing us that Pac-Man picture what I was just I was so excited I mean it is amazing news and most people out there know about this news it was it was quite

a big deal a few weeks back you know and it is freaky and it takes us further into the field of the future and you know the haunting prospect of what we can expect and most people worry that yeah robots are gonna

start making other robots basically but it's just not that simple so not only was this your big story of the year after having tried really hard to tell us about it Reese is now saying what everyone's heard about this weeks ago and guess what I had a follow-up

news story to link into it because talking about the you know the threat of AI and all that and these robots that are self-replicating themselves yeah my follow-up little supplementary news story is human brain cells in a dish

learn to play Pong faster than an AI oh wow so we got Pac-Man and Pong I was trying to get to that news story through another news story and I should have just gone straight to this news story I think if you try and explain this one

we're gonna come up against the same problem again do you get this on a science website again you know you're not allowed on that well that's interesting that you're basically saying that the human cells can are better than the the AI cells that playing Pong

so we're still number one as long as we're in a dish the dish is the key part here because it says there are many teams around the world have been studying networks of neurons and dishes often growing them into brain-like

organoids but this is the first time that many brains have been found to perform goal-directed tasks so there you go unfortunately I can't read any more of the news article without paying to get unlimited web access

you run out of your run out of story so that's unfortunately that's all I've got for you on that article I wouldn't have understood what it was being talked about anyway hey listen I've paid the extra can I speak to the manager please

I can't understand the story but I've actually paid the yeah there was a bit at the bottom there asking me to pay which I did but I can't I want my money back because the story for me is well you can insert a word here but I certainly can't

mmm asterisk 3 yeah the manager's away or what do you want to do because I'm not I'm not happy with the story I don't understand it I'm not now I'm subscribed to the damn thing I'm gonna click on it again next week and have the same bullshit thrown at me okay well look

we're rocketing towards the end of the show now but let's do some cryptid news and finish off the year insert segment to sting okay are people doing that themselves or do I actually do that is that a new thing

is that a new thing asterisk number 4 sting insert your own sting there okay no okay attention all personnel it's time for this week's cryptid

help me so who wants to read the headline of the month well I've got a good one here yeah um well actually I might have to edit the headline to make it better hahaha

you can't do that giant jellyfish found with mouth arms mouth arms hang on is that the real one or is that you edited it yes that's not fair

I'm gonna redo my news article if I can redo it my writing is so good it could actually be the actual headline yeah it's true it's very true mouth arms that's amazing yeah okay

observed deep in the ocean this is from I got this from Nerdist basically research is from the Monterey Bay Aquarium Research Institute or MBARI that's the audio signature

MBARI MBARI observed an ultra rare giant phantom jellyfish the giant phantom jelly which is on display in this video that I'm gonna show you in a second here is simply stunning

now I've added that word simply it actually says quite even though it couldn't actually stun you as it's 30 foot long mouth arms are just there to trap prey rather than sting them it's got 30 foot

long mouth arms okay you guys ready to see this yeah yeah 30 foot mouth arms yeah he just replied to a text right now I'm just looking at it myself

I'm just gonna play I'm just gonna play it from this thing oh my goodness wow that is beautiful yeah that's stunning look at the material that looks like the fabric on my sofa it's like a really nice

fabric what is it glowing on the inside can you see is it it's like a red glow it's amazing so it looks yeah it looks like the the main body looks like buttons his hat to an extent it's a sort of kind of dust

it's gorgeous it's gorgeous and then and then you've got these wow look at those arms the mouth arms just look like ribbons out there like the olympic thing yeah like the olympic ones yeah that looked amazing so if you want to check this out

you can check it out on Nerdist or this on the YouTube channel the MBRI Mabari I've posted it on the on the YouTube channel the research institute notes

researchers were exploring the ocean off the coast of Monterey Bay California a remote operated submarine when they eyed the creature the submarine came across the aquatic alien at about 3200 feet below sea level

that's very very deep wow how do they get mouth arms they're just clickbait yeah that's because they're not eating with the arms are they they're just grabbing it and putting it in their mouth well unless they do unless they eat through the top of their mouth and it travels down like a slide

you know travels through they could be hollow arms so like really long necks straws big straws you could be straw hands is that a mouth arms let's call them straw hands

I mean I'm no scientist listen the giant phantom jelly uses its mouth arms to entrap prey and subsequently reel them up to its mouth well that's not mouth arms they are so are you creating the mouth arms

that's what our arms do our arms aren't attached to our mouth they're attached to their mouth well here's the clincher these mouth arms which come out of the mouth grab the prey and then they roll the prey right up to the mouth now they suspect

that the prey would probably die of fear before it even got to the mouth because of the journey of when it's heading towards looking at that thing that it's heading towards the big clincher is that in more than ways than one is that the mouth is also its anus

oh my god why aren't they calling them ass hands then at least they've got it all right imagine that you're using your arms to bring the food and get something it goes actually I've got some I've got a little perturbed I need taking out as well do you mind taking this out

it's like things go in and out of the same thing yeah what a design they're very rare explorers have spotted these jellies before only 110 times in the last 100 years wow

their sparse record of observation is especially strange considering the jellies near worldwide distribution they got worldwide distribution wow that's good they got a worldwide distribution deal so did your latest DVD didn't it Rhys

you and ass hands have got something in common well I do talk a lot of shit but I don't think other than that there's no relation you talk a lot of shit and then your hands kind of like deliver it out to the world look here's another

final clincher on the article all these clinches so despite the worldwide distribution of these strange creatures it really makes us wonder where are these things hiding all the time and are we sure

they aren't just preparing for an invasion what what lead them to think that they're going to invade us it does I have to say I'd say it does look very alien. It does. Actually, it does look slightly War of the Worlds,

doesn't it? It's got the, yeah. That is cool. It is your hat, Buttons, that is your hat. I like War of the Worlds too, don't I? Look, let's put those side by side. Look, go closer so we can just see your head. Oh, like our hands too.

Look. Ah. There you go. He just flushed the toilet. There you go. Oh, is that a muffin, is it? Oh. Well, I think we've just lost a few more Patreons.

Wow. What a new story. That's, that really, that brought it back to life. Thank you. We see that it was great. That was really good. What else have we got? Well, I'm just quite surprised.

I thought the very first article in our crypto buzzer would have been the new Bigfoot footage has experts admitting that it could be real. Yeah, of course. I've got that here too. I was hoping one of you would bring that up. Oh, well, I'm a few wee. That's lucky I did.

So this is the classic footage that we all know, the Gimlin footage. And they've done some new analysis on it, I believe. Is the story? No. No, that's a separate article. Well, you've got another story. That's great that you've got that as well.

But no, there's new brand new footage of a Bigfoot and experts have looked at it. That's really good. Yeah. And they sort of saying, well, actually, hang on, this one, we're struggling with this one to prove it to be a fake. It's a clip of a large ape-like creature

filmed through the treeline in Georgia. And the footage is, once again, it's shaky and a little bit out of focus. I call crypto footage should be. But it has a lot of people kind of going, well, this one could be the real one. One person wrote, best footage I've seen. In a while, I understand the shakiness.

I would have been pooing in my pants. Wow, that thing was huge. That wasn't one of the experts, I don't think. That thinks it could be real. In fact, it doesn't say here who the experts were that think it's real. So I think maybe that was just clickbait as well. But let me just share the video with you

so that you can see it for the first time, Dan. Yeah, please do. So what we're seeing here is obviously shaky footage looking through, but there is a dark figure. It stands up. It's sort of like got the classic sort of no shoulders, huge form. Played again.

Did the creature hit off there? Yes, yeah. Yeah, it looked like it. So it's like it's down on a sort of a ridge line, and it's like it walks up or stands up. It's so huge. Yeah, and turns around. It literally turns around and then darts off.

Oh, yeah. What I really love about this one is that it really does look like a gorilla, a lowland gorilla, speaking from experience of seeing the mountain gorillas in Rwanda. With that shape when it's crouched down like that and when it slowly gets up, the rounded shoulders and how it goes into the head where there's no neck.

It's just the head and then sort of, you know, goes into the shoulders and that kind of shape. And just the sheer bulk of the size of that creature just really resonates with me. So I think it's really believable. Well, check that out if you guys, if you fans and listeners want to get that footage, we'll put it up on the site as well.

Facebook or the Metaverse. It will be a drawn NFT. That's the only difference, but a bit on it. That probably would be worth a lot of money. Imagine the Patterson-Gimlin NFT. Yeah. I'd buy that, I'd buy that one. Well, speaking of the Patterson-Gimlin footage,

that is another one that came up recently as Dan was chatting about briefly there before. It's been put on another show on the History Channel called The Proof Is Out There. And it's season two and it's the Sasquatch episode. I checked it out the other day. It's only just come out in the last few weeks and they reanalyze the footage.

And they've done it with very, very modern technology and overlapped it like hundreds of times with each moment to get a much crisper definition on the footage. And then they've put it brought in experts and it's now even more likely that it's not a hoax. Wow. So it's really strengthened the case for it being real,

which it's still yet to be disproved that it isn't real. So that's worth looking at as well. Yeah, where do we find that? Can you show us that now? No. It's... I already just told you at the start. It's on a show on the History Channel

called The Proof Is Out There. Season two is the Sasquatch Revealed episode. I like the new buttons doesn't listen segment. It's basically happening each week now. Insert listening here. Asterix 525. I was just, I didn't, I clearly didn't hear the bit where that was.

I knew, I just didn't know that what... I just didn't know it wasn't available on YouTube already. Like people normally rip that stuff off and put it straight up. It may well be. It may well be. Absolutely. And you know, it's just the same footage. Is it?

Well, true. It just looks a bit clearer. Oh, thank you, thank you. You look at it and you go, oh, I've already seen this. Yeah, that's not the... This is from the 60s. No, but there's not the point of re-evaluated it

using digital technology to prove yet again that it's still real. Yeah, but I've already seen it. Yeah, I know, but look, forget it. You'll copy of it? No. Tell us about the time you met Gimlin. Bob Gimlin.

Yeah, it was a few years ago. I went to AlienCon and he was there. And I was just obviously there to meet some of the ufologists and things and it was in a big... It was like a conference, obviously. And in one of the large rooms, you walk in around, people everywhere, way before the pandemic, signing things, having a chat about things.

And in the corner, there was Bob Gimlin. And he had his own store. Wrong con. Can somebody point me to the big fun area? I can point you to the alien abduction, but no. Well, no, these things are linked. Crypto, zoology and aliens and everything. So there he is.

And I got to meet him and get a photo with him. And then he... And I bought the famous print of the moment where Paddy, as they call the famous Sat Squatch, it was a female one, obviously, and it turned around and it's got that amazing movement. And so that frame of that film was blown up and he sold it and signed it for me.

And so, yeah, that was a cool moment because he's not going to be around forever. And I think he's in his 80s now. Yeah, I think so. Yeah, easily, yeah. That's awesome. And what was he like? Is he like...

Yeah, cowboy. Big hat on. He had his belt buckle, his jeans. Hey, I'm going to meet you. You know, that kind of southern charm. I don't know. I just don't know that the word to describe somebody who's taken incredible footage that nobody believes

or at least people find hard to believe, the best word to describe him is a cowboy. It's not like, yeah, he's like a lawyer. He's like... He's like, total cowboy. Total freaking cowboy. Honestly, he was trying to sell me a packet of bootleg cigarettes.

He was like, honestly, no, but no, no. He saw me coming. He saw me coming. You know, a mile away. And anyway, it was a big moment for me. Very cool. Love to meet you guys. You guys are just jealous.

You're just real. I'm totally jealous. Yes, we are. Have you got any encrypted news, Dan? Well, nothing. I mean, there was a sighting in... Where was it? Central Illinois.

That happened the other day. But to be honest, it's just a very quick sighting with a very quick description. It's nowhere near as interesting as the last two stories that have just come up, which I think are just awesome. It was a guy, he said basically he was... So the creature, he spotted outside the small town

of Chandlerville, which is northwest of Springfield. And he said it was fast, athletic, massive. It covered two lanes of road in two quick strides. It had incredibly long limbs. It was covered in shiny black hair. And it was almost gone before he could even register it. So he sort of, he obviously got a glimpse of something running across the road.

And he thought to myself, he said, I said to myself out loud, expletive, bigfoot. And the article, which they've put in the headline as well, have put in brackets the word expletive, which is quite unusual, because you would usually have a couple of asterisks inside your word, usually, wouldn't you?

In this case, it's just expletive, wow. Well, the other thing that a lot of people are doing these days is just leaving it blank and putting an asterisk and a little number next to it. So maybe the newspapers could pick up on that. And people fill it in themselves. They get it given a Sharpie each time they buy a newspaper. And they get to fill in the expletive, you know,

that's the new way kids are doing it. Insert expletive here. What's happened to Dan? Dan, are you frozen? He has frozen, hasn't he? Yeah. Dan, actually speaking of frozen, I think we should end on this.

This came through from the sun, alien radio, mysterious sounds heard underneath frozen lake, sparks, bizarre, alien-based conspiracy theory. Wow. Yeah, this is the 6th of December. Science may have a more mundane explanation for it, but I'm going to skip past that and let's see what else it says.

We don't want mundane, we don't do mundane. Recordings taken from Steamboat Springs in Colorado were recorded by an employee of the Colorado Parks and Wildlife Service on December 4th. And then the staff member posted them on Twitter, which has subsequently been shared to UFO sightings daily, where they have been described as strange Star Wars sounds. Analyzing the audio, Truthseeker Scott C. Warring said,

white sphere UFOs have been recorded and eyewitnesses by thousands of residents of Colorado over the last few years. The signals point to there being an alien base deep below the lake, which amplifies the sound below due to it being frozen. It acts as an amplifier. What?

That is incredible. Isn't that the most incredible thing you've ever heard, Buttons? It is incredible. Wow. And we're going to end on that this week, folks. Wait. Oh, hi, Dan.

Hi, Dan. You missed something really incredible. Wow. Wow. Oh, what? I guess when you listen to the podcast, you'll be able to check it out, man. I thought we were done.

That's why I went. We already said bye at the beginning of the show. That's a very good point. We did, we went into the final thing first. I just didn't know how we would end the show, so I thought if I just cut it out, we'll just say bye. Oh, yeah, brilliant. Brilliant.

Now, you were right, and we can still do that. I just wanted to end on a bit of a high, as opposed to a mundane, big foot crossing the road story with no visuals. An everyday classic old speed sighting. Speed sighting, yeah. Well, this story sounds great. Yeah, they think it's an alien base.

Alien bases are never small. Most are three to six kilometers deep, and cover an area of about five kilometers, and even have their own weather system with chances of rain. This is 100% proof of an alien base below this lake in Colorado. 100%. I don't know where these quotes are coming from.

What? I love it when they say that's how they usually are. No, all the ones that we have documented have been six kilometers deep, about five kilometers big. No, you can't say usually they are. It's like you've got no proof. It's all speculation, but they go on to say, a loud enough speaker placed in a dugout,

one meter deep ice hole at the center of the lake would be sufficient to send them back a sonic signal. What do you send them back? What are you going to send them? A sonic signal. That's exactly what the next bit is. It says, but what would you say? What do they sound like?

Have they got recordings of the sound? Surely if they've heard it, they've got recordings of it. Exactly. We need to find this recording and we'll go out on this. OK, so let me just find it. I'll have to Google it. OK, I found it. Oh, here we go.

It says here, make it to the five second mark to hear incredible sounds of the ice in this Colorado lake. How boring is the first four seconds? Oh, my goodness. If there's a treat for you, if you endure the first five seconds, there's a treat for you because it's actually what you were playing the video for. But try and get through those first five seconds.

In this day and age, five seconds is like five years. People have such a low attention span. You've got to say, hey, look, I'm going to play you something. But honestly, you've got to at least get to five seconds before you give up. You promise me? No, I don't, mate. You know, I've got a few things on today.

I've got to do an NFT in a minute. Now, here we go. We've already said goodbye, so this is how we're going to finish. Here it goes. All right, OK. OK. They're not wrong. That first five seconds is Duh-oh.

Merry Christmas, everyone. I'll see you next year. Merry Christmas, everyone. Merry Christmas. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do