The Cryptid Factor - 72: #072 The Alleged Issue

Episode Date: June 14, 2022

Aaaaaaaaand we're back!!!  This episode begins with a recap on xmas presents then quickly moves onto old pubs closing, spoon benders PR attempts, artefacts found in ice caves in Antartica, fish driving cars and making 90's techno noises.... and hitchhiking dogs (allegedly).  Also, Rhys and Buttons make a plea to be adopted by Dans dreaming Dad, there's a tree swinging Aussie Dogman, a psychic Wimbledon Nessie, and a tiny-tiny Mothman. Enjoy! **NB - This episode was originally recorded back in January 2022, but was thought to be lost to the ravages of bad audio (and bad organisation), but with the help of a wonderful Cryptid Knight (Shout out to Jen Jones!) it's alive!  **NB - This episode was recorded before the war broke out in Ukraine. Our thoughts go out to everyone affected by that tragedy.

The Cryptid Factor, with Rhys Darby and Dan Shriver. Well, they say one does never cease, even though this podcast has many times. But like the mighty phoenix, or in this case a thunderbird from another dimension, you can't keep a good thing down. Out of the vortex, screaming like a magical dragon comes this, the first official show of the 2022 season. And on its back, holding on for dear life, Rhys, Dan and Buttons, who's, let's be honest, always slightly slipping off the tail. We're back! Rhys, just before the theme two started, said, now guys, I've got a little spiel to rant off after. That wasn't a spiel, that was like a motivating anthem.

Oh, okay. It wasn't just a spiel. Well, I think when I used to be a soldier in the army, we'd get up in the morning and just before battle, the commander would come down and during breakfast would go, right before we kick things off today, I've got to have to do my spiel. And so I think anything that's kind of commanding and uplifting is a spiel or a spiel. I don't mind, mate. Is it a German word? Spiel?

Yeah, it sounds it, doesn't it? Spiel. Yeah. Yeah. Can you give us your spiel? Can you give us that whole thing again, but with your German accent? Yeah, I've won! No!

Oh, that was good. It is great to be back. Oh my God, I can't believe it. It's wonderful. It's February. It's crazy. I don't think time has ever moved this weirdly in my life. Like, it's so fast.

2020 seems like a decade ago. 2021's gone. I know. Yeah. And now we're halfway through 2022. I know. Well, not quite, but you know, it feels like. Next week, it will be.

Next week's podcast comes out. What have we all been doing? Why have we been so slapped during January? Dan? Dan's been busy. I can tell. He's always touring or doing live shows, being a dad to two very young kids and whatnot. Yeah, I was in Ireland, which is awesome.

Wow! What was this for? It was for the, you know, the other podcast. Oh, the one that we don't mention. Yeah. The unmentionable. We were on tour there. That was very exciting.

I did get in the time that we were off. I got a message from my dad and actually I just wanted to mention it as a warning for anyone who listens to us as they're falling to sleep because my dad sent me a message saying, Dan, I had the craziest dream last night. I must have been falling asleep as I was listening to the episode because he then told me this dream of the three of us, cryptid factor, with my dad in some Tibetan monastery dream that we had all worked our way into. He said there was a huge house that was built up on a high mountains and we were walking

through this cheeky bedroom on the upper floor, but there were voices coming from down below and the three of us went walking around not knowing what was going on. He was really scared about it. Wow. It was like an abandoned villa. Life clearly was there before, but no longer present. And then suddenly the whole city disappeared and we'd been transported into some other situation and we began to investigate that situation.

He didn't say what the situation was. He then woke up and he had, he had recent new buttons sort of doing yeti impressions. It sounds like he's actually had a premonition of the next series of Reese's Rapposodes for one of our adventures in rap. So warning, if you fall asleep to this pod, you could have extremely trippy dreams. Oh man. Well, I tell you what. Seen as both Reese and I's fathers have sadly passed, do you reckon your dad would

consider adopting us cause he sounds really cool. And he sounds like he could be like the father of the three cryptid factor brothers and that would make us actual brothers if we all had the same dad. But you'd have to change your surname to Shriver. I almost bought a piano the other day that was a Shriver piano. And I was only going to buy it because I want to be part of your family. Oh, that'd be good. And it'd be good for your spills as well.

That's her name, Reese. Yes. Time for the spiel. Shriver spiel. Well, you just run the idea past him. I don't know how he thinks. I think he'll probably go for it. And let's be honest, he's listening now.

Can you be our dad too, Mr. Shribes? Well, come on, call adventures with you, even if it is just in your dreams. Yeah. Now, Leon, we know you have been at home in New Zealand and from what I can gather from photographs doing a lot of home construction on your property with bulldozers and whatnot. Oh, mate, I'm the only one that has no excuse for not doing the podcast. I've just been stuck at home.

I've just been driving bulldozers to pastime. I didn't even need to. The backyard was fine. And I just was like, I'm just going to bulldoze it. Just bored. Totally bored. I'm like waiting for you guys to do the podcast with. And I'm like, I haven't replied again.

I'm just going to have to get the bulldozer out. Michelle. Look, just ask them nicely. I have every day. I tell you what a podcast and they don't do anything. Can you stop ruining the property? I'm not happy. It's my therapy.

It's 20-ton therapy. But that ties into my one other bit of news because we, of course, haven't talked since Christmas because the last episode, although it came out sometime in January, we actually recorded prior to fall Christmas. And then I got busy with Christmas holidays and then, you know, took a while to edit as I sometimes do. But we have asked three haven't talked since Christmas.

And one of my Christmas presents is really important. So you are going to ask us what we got for Christmas. Yeah. What did you get for Christmas? I can't recall. No idea. Oh, really? Tell us what you want to tell us about.

Well, thanks for asking what I got for Christmas. So what can it, shall I go get it so I can show you? Yeah. He hasn't even got it? No, I don't. He's just downstairs. I'll just go get it. I'll try and remember what I was.

Yeah, you guys try and remember what you got for Christmas. I do know what I'm debating about getting right now. Oh, yeah. I'm in two minds about buying a Donatello Ninja Turtle toy, the 1988 version, which is quite expensive because it belonged to Ed Sheeran. It's Ed Sheeran Donatello toy. And I can't work out if that's a cool thing to get or not.

It's very expensive, but I feel like that'd be a cool thing for my kids. So that's what I'm dealing with at the moment. Okay. Well, that's got two levels to it. It's nostalgic cool and it's also owned by someone of notoriety. What was it? I missed it.

I was running to get my present. It's Ed Sheeran's old Donatello Ninja Turtles toy, the original. That's amazing. I'm debating whether or not to get it for the guy who's got everything. Well, all your cool stuff. You end up just returning. You got all the Spike Milligan's shot glasses and you gave them back to Spike Milligan's family.

No, I didn't. I've got those. I think you told her you're going to give them that. Or you told me you're going to give them back. Yeah. Don't put this out. But then also when we talked to Peter Hillary, you had that French comic book, which he gave to me for Christmas.

And then you quickly packaged it up and we gifted it to Peter Hillary. That's right. And who has it right now? I've still got it. I'm still deciding who's going to get it. It's going to be the same with Donatello for Ed Sheeran. You'll be like, oh, I'm going to give it back to him one day. Maybe.

All right. Come on then. Tell us what you got. Yeah. You got your present? Yeah. I got my present. But from my lovely long suffering wife gave me a personalized license plate,

which is cryptid. Fantastic. Fantastic. Cool. So very shortly there'll be an old Land Rover buzzing about with a cryptid license plate, which means then I get to actually then buy all of the cryptid hunting material to put on the old Land Rover. Because you can't have a license plate like that with our nets and radar

and infrared cameras and all that. Is this your truck that once had a special dog sitting at once? Oh, yes. The red dog. What's it called? Old red. There was a dog that used to hitchhike around the outback of Australia. And it was called the red dog.

And people would just pick him up and drop him off. And he would just stand there, jump in your truck, and let you know when he wanted to hop out. And you'd just get around the outback. And so this old Land Rover that I got from the outback, allegedly had the red dog driving. Allegedly. Wow.

They didn't come with an official certificate. There's no word more powerful to ruin your story than the word allegedly. I mean, why do we even bother with it? You put that in immediately. We're all going, OK, so it didn't. I mean, it's weird. Go and try and prove it yourself.

What's the word for it? Deceit? Or what is it? It's like... It gets you away from anybody checking. No one's going to sue you. Exactly. And that's what they use on British panel shows.

Like, have I got news for you? You can say the gossip and then say allegedly afterwards, which means you're not saying it's a fact. So that's what they do. They'll say in his slip or say a fact, and they'll say allegedly. It's a nice buffer. It is.

Yeah, yeah. Wow, with that, shall we do everybody's allegedly favorite segment? Let's do it. It's Weekly World Weird News. Crazy. Freaky. Watch out.

In a thin month of weirdness, which is odd, you know, I cycled through a lot of stuff today to find up-to-date pieces of information of bizarreness, and there wasn't a lot there. There's definitely stuff from weeks and weeks ago, but trying to stay relevant was difficult this week. Am I right? Yeah, I think so.

Is that your headline? To stay relevant. That's my news. What have you guys got? Oh, wow. It's going to be hard to beat that. Well, I do have one which I think is worth talking about. It's not necessary.

I think he's a category of someone to talk about, but supposedly space aliens are coming. They're on the way, and this is according to Yuri Geller. Oh, yes, I saw this. Yeah, I don't know how much we've spoken about Yuri on the show before, but you know,

he's a curious, curious man, and he believes that this new interesting sound that was spotted by NASA is aliens trying to get in contact. So we can get into that in a bit. That's pretty awesome. And what's your actual news, Ruthie? Sorry, I just looked up Yuri there

because there's another bit of Yuri news as well that I could link to that, but I'll find that in a minute. So try to find something funny, like I always do, that's odd, and this is a nice headline. Britain's oldest pub closes after 1,229 years. Oh, that's not nice news. It's sad, but it's amazing.

It finally closes after 1,229 years. Isn't that crazy that the pandemic closes it, but it survived the Spanish flu. It survived probably multiple pandemics, but it's coronavirus that takes it out. It's crazy. Yeah, it's a sign of the times, I'm telling you. So more about that in a minute.

And what have you got, Buttons? Well, I've got one that's... Okay, it might be... Well, it's from earlier in January, so people may have heard about it, but I'd love to talk about it anyway. Scientists make goldfish drive a car. I think I did have a quick glance at that one

as I was scrolling through today. Yeah, well, I mean, there's no pub shutting down, sure, but it is still pretty weird, so we've got to cover it because it is pretty amazing. Let's do a few more so we can get a few more in here as well if we've got time. I've found one on Curiosmos.com, which is Ukrainian explorers

have found a lost subterranean world in a cave beneath Antarctica. Wow. Okay. That's cool because, you know, Ukraine is in the news very much at the moment, and it's a really cool positive story about a underground world that has been seen before, but has been opened up even further,

and it's just bigger than they ever thought it was, and it's an Antarctica. It's a giant cave with various systems inside it, and they've even found a... Oh, I've said too much. I've said too much. I'll go into it in a minute. Slow down there, buddy, slow down.

Well, I've got one other piece of news to throw on there as well if we've got time, and the headline is, spiders can have arachnophobia. Oh, I love that. That's cool. And I think the headline probably is all, that's the whole story.

Yeah. But I thought that was quite amazing as well. You got any backups there, Dan? Yes, there's a story, a claim, that a baby that was born very recently in their lifetime are going to be meeting aliens, and they will teach them how to eradicate all diseases, and the lifespan of humans will climb to 220 years on average.

And that is another claim by Uri Geller. I just want to talk about Uri Geller. Oh. God, that's probably the second one I was going to look up in a second, because I saw there was a couple of Uri updates, and wow, either his PR team are really coming on board now. We need his PR team.

Or he's just out of cash. It needs a bit of... Exactly. Attention. We need his PR team for the podcast. Like, shit. Because we come up with claims like this shit all the time, and nobody covers it in their news.

Well, that's the fun part about being someone strange that can bend or possibly not bend spoons is that you can have these wild claims, and they'll make headlines. If any of us claim something ridiculous, people will just go, yeah, whatever, mate, we're not giving you any space on the newspaper for that.

Do a PR release. Rhys Darby believes that aliens are already living amongst us, and are actually working in supermarket aisles across the country. And there you go, dot, dot, down the bottom to prove that this is not bollocks. Rhys just recently bent a spoon with his own mind. That's a qualifying statement to go, oh, no, he's... No, we guys got to publish this one.

He can bend a spoon. Should we get into it? No, let's dive in. Dan, start with you. Well, OK, so recently, as you say, Uri Geller has sort of found this sort of little pocket of PR that's going on. For what purposes, I don't know.

He's got a museum that he's been pushing a lot recently. But he's using his Twitter a lot recently to sort of put out these ideas, and they just seem to be catching. So one tweet on January 26th, a team mapping radio waves in the universe has discovered something unusual that releases a giant burst of energy three times an hour. And it's unlike anything astronomers have seen before.

So this is a new story that happened. Alien intelligence weighs a period than ours. NASA decipheres their messages. Mass landing, question mark. So that's what he's put out there. Supposedly he's got in contact with NASA. You know, don't know if they replied, but he supposedly is saying that he believes

that this is aliens making contact finally. And to recreate that phone call right now, I've just got my giant NASA radio responder unit kit. I'm now Uri Geller. Hello, NASA. Hello, it's Uri Geller here. No. This is a creation of what I believe would have happened.

But yeah, so this is what he's claiming. He's saying that, I mean, there's no evidence from Uri in this case, but there is a mysterious thing in space which has been sending out these, and you know, it's always mysterious, and then scientists eventually crack it. I do find, as you say, buttons about the sort of like, how does he get these stories out there?

The more and more you read about this guy, it's just he pumps out so many bizarre stories. The weirdest one I read recently is he claims to have this little golden sphere that was given to him by John Lennon. But he says John Lennon gave to him after being handed it by an alien. So John was in bed with Yoko,

and suddenly an alien came and walked over and gave him this golden sphere. And it's in the museum. It's displayed in Uri Geller's museum that he has this golden, yeah, alien sphere. Has Yoko confirmed that or anything? Because Yoko, I know, is still alive. So surely she'd be able to say,

yeah, that happened or no. Yeah, I think she's got better things going on, right? Something like an alien walking in with a golden sphere. It's an alien egg, that's what it was. Hey, Dan, not to steal away from your Uri Geller news, but this guy is PR mad, because he's the one that I was looking at earlier today, and I was trying to link it to what you were saying,

and I thought you mentioned it, but it's yet another one. This came out two days ago. Uri Geller says he knows where the Ark of the Covenant is. Oh, man. Yeah, so I'll just quickly read this little bit here. Once again, it's from his Twitter. I know where the Ark of the Covenant is. I will find it, mark my words.

It will be an earth-shattering historical tsunami and an archaeological and a theological earthquake. Dowsing ancient soap factory I located under my museum gave me the inspiration. And then he's linked it to Uri Geller Museum. But his whole statement is kind of inoxymoron, because he goes, I know where the Ark of the Covenant is, and I will find it.

It's like, well, if you know where it is, you don't got to find it. You just got to go and get it. What he wants to say is he suspects he knows where it is, and he's going to go and find it. I know where it is. Allegedly. That should be the name of his museum. The Alleged Museum of Uri Geller.

Years ago, I saw a documentary by him where he sat in, I think he was in Dubrovnik, and there was a bell that he said this bell hasn't rung for something like 200 years. And let's see if we can make it ring. And he holds his fingers to his temple, and he's really concentrating. And then the bell just goes, boom, huge. And he literally leaps out.

And it turns out he was given wrong information. It goes every hour. Literally, he's right next to this giant fucking bell. That could easily leave. He could go to explain just about all of his PR headlines. He's been given bad intel. Somebody's there just feeding him shit. He said, I tell you what, though,

if I could invite him around for dinner and listen to some of these stories firsthand, I would do it in a heartbeat. What a fascinating guy. Absolutely. Yeah, I agree. Recently, I have a friend who told me that he thinks he's dangerous for the world.

It's interesting to explore as well, just sort of saying he's pushing a lot of stuff that he is quite dangerous if you fully believe in it. And I've never considered him in that way. And I'm going to go away and think about that. Maybe because it falls into the line of misinformation, some of it. But I think his claims and his ideas are so ridiculous

that to take them too seriously, they don't seem harmful to me. The one where he's warning that aliens will come down and this could be the big end game, I mean, you kind of go, OK, well, if it is, it is. We're not even going to be able to really fight them. When you said, though, Dan, you know, where he might be dangerous for the world,

my brain instantly just went to all the spoons getting bent, like metal objects just bending out of nowhere. It's like he's going to turn into a supervillain with those metal bends. Especially with the bends while you're eating. So you're just about to have your dinner. All of a sudden, he goes like this with his temples, the side and all your spoons are going.

But you wouldn't serve soup, would you? No. If he came around for dinner, you'd be like, no, that'll be a disaster. It's slopping everywhere. Well, my story, you know, it's from earlier this year, but it's still amazing. The headline, the full headline is actually,

Wild Video shows goldfish driving a water-filled car in weird experiment. And there is, I will show the video to you guys, although you may have already seen it. It's pretty hilarious, as you'd imagine, fish driving effectively a fish tank on wheels. And this article starts in a weird way as well. I'm not too sure whether I'm missing something,

but the first line of this article from Live Science starts, fish may not need bicycles, but they seem to like cars. So I don't know if there's a thing about fish. Well, there's a whole thing like a fish on a bicycle. That's like a saying, right? Is it? Yeah. You talk to it.

He took to it like a fish on a bicycle. All right. Meaning the guy had no idea what he was doing. It's impossible. Right. That makes sense. I'm surprised you don't know that phrase. I use it about you behind your back all the time.

I keep wondering that. People are producing shows. People keep coming up to me saying, no, mate, how's your bicycle riding skills, your big fish? That's what you're talking about. I was just talking to Reese the other day. Was it because of my big jujus?

Literally wearing a hat with a fish on it as well right now. And I'm riding a bicycle. No, I'm not. So anyway, there's a supremely weird new video showing a goldfish driving a water-filled motorized car from one end of a room to another, bobbing and weaving to avoid obstacles along the way. Scientists performed the odd experiment

to better understand how goldfish navigate terrestrial environments, which is kind of weird. Scientists must be getting so bored that they're like, hey, fish out of water. I wonder how they'd navigate if they could. So they've gone about doing this. And so obviously in the wild, goldfish, and the other species must navigate to find food

or shelter for survival. It's always clear how they actually learn to navigate a space. And so that's why these scientists have set up this experiment just to find out exactly how fish go about learning how to do that and also just to find the intelligence levels of what people have always deemed the most stupid of animals, the memory of a goldfish and all that. They've had a bad rap, haven't they?

They have, because that's not true at all. Can we see the video? Let's take a picture of how they're driving in there. Well, Yuri Gala's PR team need to get on to fish and give them a bit of rap and clean up some of these misconceptions. Yeah, let's watch the video now. It's from the University of Nagiv in Israel.

I don't know if that's said that right. Apologies if I haven't. Yeah, Israel, let's say pronounce it. A few weeks. I'm still quick. I'm still sharp. Man, you still got it. It's diminishing, but it's still there. I just got it.

It's coming back. It's coming back stronger. But anyway, they're calling this a reverse submarine, which makes sense. Or a fish-operated vehicle or an FOV is what they're calling it. They're giving it an acronym. It's probably going to be the only fish-operated vehicle for many decades to come, but it still gets an acronym, an FOV, which is great.

And it's a plastic aquarium mounted onto a small platform with wheels, which a single goldfish in this little aquarium can pilot by swimming around. Obviously, if it swims to the left, the car goes to the left. If it swims to the right, the car goes to the right. So I'll show you the little video now just to entertain you. It's an hour-and-a-half documentary. You've got to fast-forward to the small moment where they show it.

Oh, there we go. Yeah, so this is driving in the street. So this is where they've got it. Actually, they took it outside and hit the fish drive down the street, which is... Yeah, so what we're seeing is it's like a Perspex tank, a small goldfish tank, which is sitting on top of a platform with wheels driving around like a little,

kind of like one of those hoovers that goes around your house cleaning those robot hoovers. That's exactly it. But where does the fish want to go? Why is it like most fish don't go places other than their tank, right? Yeah, so I think what they're actually proving here, or at least trying to prove, is that the fish can actually see objects and actually maneuver their way around it.

So there's a top-down shot here, where you can see that the little goldfish bowl on the wheels drives up to an object, then drives to the left of it and literally drives around and you see here. The question I've got is like a couple of shots of the thing look like there's two fish in there, obviously, because of the optical illusion that from this box, you know, when you look into a goldfish bowl,

things like bigger or smaller, depending on the refraction of the goldfish bowl, if you're the goldfish in there trying to drive, surely everything looks a bit weird and a bit bigger and a little bit stranger, you know? Yeah. Surely that would make driving harder. If you were driving your car down the road

and it was filled with water and you're having to look through the optical illusion of looking through water and then through your windscreen, surely you're going to crash into stuff more. I don't think, though, that anyone is suggesting this is the future of chauffeuring. This is one of the most ridiculous experiments I've ever seen in my life.

I don't think in 10 years they're going to, in fish shops, go, OK, here's your fish. Now, do you want the fish vehicle as well? You want the F-O-V. Yeah, you want the F-O-V, mate, because you can have your fish in your house, just swimming around and then moving around with you. It's basically what they're trying to do,

is they're trying to make out, like, a fish, which is, you know, let's be honest, one of the most boring pets you could ever have, to make it more exciting so that, you know, when you go from the kitchen to the lounge, a fish can come with you, if it so chooses. Maybe, why would it? Maybe Yuri Geller's PR people are working with fish,

and they're actually trying to repackage them as a better pet. Well, I'll tell you what, it's very possible, because do you know where Yuri Geller's museum is and where he is? Oh, no. Israel. He's in Tel Aviv.

Israel, come on! Yeah, I think that's it. Is that how you pronounce it? Israel. Israel. Yeah. Thank you. I would admit, if you were to train these fish up

and add a little vacuum cleaner machine to the bottom of the little car, and train the goldfish to actually spot dirty spots on your carpet, it could actually be the future of intelligent robotic vacuum cleaners. But you know how earlier, when I was trying to describe to the listener what that looked like,

and I described the existing technology of a robot that cleans your house. Yeah, but it just randomly drives around, doesn't it? It doesn't spot the dirt. This is the fish. This is like early AI for robotic vacuum cleaners. So, fish AI.

Yeah, yeah. The only way I can see this getting more exciting is if the fish is bigger. If you imagine it was actually a shark, okay, a great big shark, and it's in a special big long tank, just the right size for the shark, and it can be your pet shark,

and you can go down to the shops with it, and it just comes along with you. Yes. Then you're going to start turning your heads. Like your experience at the aquarium, it was a bit more like dodgems, where you're sort of walking through, and the shark's literally chasing you.

You could have a guard shark. Yeah, it would be like the ultimate laser tag obstacle, wouldn't it? You're running through playing laser tag, and then there's all of a sudden, you've got to watch out for the shark in the car that drives past you, and you get out of the way of it. Maybe that's why they're developing that.

Maybe the laser tag association went to them and said, we need to make laser tag more thrilling. That's what they came up with. Before you derail this poor fish any more than she is by kicking her out of the bowl, where she's lovingly heading into walls at the moment from that video,

I do have a linking bit of information with Goldfish if you want to... It seems to be my thing this episode. I've got another tip bit of fish information, and it's that they can talk. So this came out, and I was going to use this in my news as well, but I thought my models will link it to it now.

So basically, they've discovered that fish can make noises. So they actually have a lot of things to say. They can croak and chirp, and you just can't hear them. And I looked at this thing, and I thought, oh, yeah, well, please just give us a recording, because I want to hear what fish actually sound like. I want to be blown away when I've got my pet fish

in its little tank next to me as we're heading down to the shops together. And I've got a little speaker set up that goes from through the water, through the other side of the tank, and amplifies out into the real world. And then this is what the... An actual fish, this is a real recording,

what it sounds like. This is the Long Spine Squirrel Fish. Cute name for a fish. Here we go, here it is. That's it. Ah, that is so cool. I know that sound, because that's the sound that I hear when I've left my friends inside the rave,

and I'm sitting outside reading a book, and just, you know, the bass come through the wall. Winston! Winston! Do you guys remember that there's a toy from the 90s, that really weird toy, called Flat Eric? Yes, yeah.

Well, let me show you. It's basically the same sound as Flat Eric. Have a look here, remember this? There was a song called Mr. Oizo, and it was, and they had this thing called Flat Eric, and it was used in a Levi's ad, and he talks, like, it's crazy how much it sounds exactly like it.

Okay, here we go. It's the spine fish! Right? Oh my God. Isn't it? What is this? Have you done seen this? Wait, that's Dan outside the club!

Dan? When are you coming back inside? Dan! Am I right? Isn't that the spine fish? Yeah, yeah. It is. Isn't it?

Basically, can you play your, can you play your spine fish again quickly? Yeah, sure. Let me see if I can look at mine. Dan? Dan, come on! Honestly, I've got the shots all lined up, the flaming and everything.

Put the salt on your back of your wrist, Dan. On the one you've gone outside, you've got buttons on there. I'm standing next to him. Look at his shots with salt on the back of your hand. He's got it all wrong. I look forward to that night. That's an exciting night.

And me going, it's Flat Eric, guys! No, it's not a spine fish! Guys, this sounds exactly like a spine fish. Honestly, they can talk! Fish can talk, I tell you! Who brought their fish into this nightclub? You keep bumping into my legs! That way!

And the bartender's trying to mix our drinks with his spoon and his bending in his hand. He's got Yuri's here, isn't he? Get that Yuri guy out of here! I can't miss any of the cocktails! I found it! That's my fish tank, you bastard! It's a reverse arc!

It's got lots of water in it! It's not keeping water out, it's keeping water in. Here we go. Britain's oldest pub closes after 1,229 years. And she's a beautiful, beautiful old pub. It's called Ye Olde Fighting Cox. And it's in St Albans.

That's in St Albans. And so, apparently, yeah, it's been running for that long and it announced it's closing down due to financial problems, worsened, of course, by COVID-19. So, yeah, it's a little sad, but the pub's website states

the business first started pouring drinks in the year 793! I mean, isn't that out of town? Especially if you're not in that town. I mean, 793! It's crazy, right? So, they can't let that go.

So, I think what's going to happen here is someone's going to buy it and the doors are open again. I actually went to... Remember, I said I went to Ireland earlier in the show, but I didn't have anything interesting to say about it. I just remembered. So, let's make up for it.

I went to Ireland's oldest pub while I was there. And it's called the Brazen Head. It was established in the year 198. So, this isn't even an older pub, yeah. Wow. And it's closing down too. It closed that night, yeah.

11pm. You were stuck outside with your goldfish. Not having that guy in here with his weird remote-controlled fish. Well, that's the saying is to be open for that long. And the saddest thing is for them not to actually... I'm sure they had really

big things for their 1,230th birthday, which would have been next year. What a shame! I wonder how many things... Like, in the toilets where the graffiti was like, you know...

Call your mum on, you know... It'd be so nice to know what survived all those years. For a good time. Meet me by the tree next to the river. Out with the old and in with the new.

The other piece of news I have is, of course, this amazing subterranean world in a cave beneath Antarctica. Oh, yeah. This is a little bit more positive. Yeah, so the 24th Ukrainian expedition members

to Antarctica have managed to trace down a cave that had long been lost. The subterranean formation is three times larger than previously thought and features several lakes and a river as reported on September 10 by the press service of the Ministry

of Education and Science of Ukraine. The subterranean world is found inside the cave of a remote place, the island of Galandaz. The cave was actually found long ago when the first Antarctic expedition took place through time, experts lost track

of the cave and was Antarctica everywhere looks the same, and it was white. There's a sort of an area which is mainly just white. Yeah, it's a cold section. There's a hole and then you know, I can't see it.

Anyway, they've got lost. Ukrainian expedition has revealed that the Antarctic cave was actually three times larger than previously thought. Wow. So the entrance at the time was on the opposite side of the island and under the top of a glacier

near the Vernadsky research base. However, the glacier collapsed and so the entrance was sealed. So this is what happened and now they've found another entrance and so they've gone in and worked out it's even bigger than ever they ever thought. Wow.

So it's really sort of like cool, cool news, literally. Yeah, that's amazing. I want to see a photo of it. Is there any in the article? Yeah. Oh, yeah, that looks like Antarctica. I mean, I've never been there. Yeah, as you can see from the photo it's white

and there's cavey bits. And it's cold. It's definitely cold. Here's another photo here showing you you know, stalagnites and things like that. If any of you watch like Star Wars or The Mandalorian,

you know, when they land on that hoff planet, did you ever see the Mandalorian? No. Some of the listeners will be knowing what I'm talking about. I've actually got a model of the ship here so I'll just get it so I can act it out. Hang on, I've just got to plug my headphones back in because I can't.

Oh, we've crashed into this ice chamber. Actual lines from the show and then the reef comes off. Oh, we've got to get out. And there's the Mandalorian Let's see if that's a little guy. Hang on. Why is Donatello driving The Mandalorian? You've got Donatello

Muppets there. These are the correct characters. And then these anyway, in the show these X-Wing fighters came in and they crash landed in there as well and they had to get out. It's a great episode. Do you know the funny thing is with this,

if people are watching this or listening to this wondering whether or not Rhys Darby is actually a geek, this is confirmation beyond confirmation. He's literally flying a Lego Mandalorian ship around in his room that he built himself

that he's got literally with an arms reach of his office desk for pride of place. I think we can, if anybody was like, yeah, that Rhys Darby I don't think he's a real geek. I think he actually is putting it all on. He's actually a real cool dude.

And he's probably out at night clubs and stuff like that doing shots of flaming But no, he's actually really is a real geek. Got very sidetracked there too. Sorry about that guys. Don't be sorry. It just really reminded me. Here's another photo here. Wow.

Is it more Lego you made? This is my Lego collection. You need the Lego from the Tactic Subterranean base. Yeah. I just love subterranean life. I really do. And I think

here we go. A little bit more here. The unexpected find. In addition to what they the cave and everything researchers claim to have discovered the plume of a bird that they say is definitely not that of a penguin. So this

unexpected find was recovered and sent to Ukraine for further testing. And as well as they've taken samples of the frozen river for hydrochemical analysis yada yada yada with everything that's going on in the Ukraine at the moment. I don't know

that sending a very rare and strange specimen from Antarctica and sending it to Ukraine where there is almost all out war bordering on falling out that needs analysis. When you find something rare that you want to analyse

the best thing to do is keep it on ice, right? I should just leave it there. It's unbelievable. We don't want it back here. There's going to be more happening here, please. Just leave it in the fridge. We're in the big ice fridge. Have you got any fridges there?

Can you put it in the fridge there, please? Yeah. I love though that if you were the first person that came across that subterranean base, that subterranean underground I mean, you would, because that's where everyone was looking for the hollow earth, right? They were looking at the poles.

You would for a second go, oh fuck it's hollow, isn't it? Shit. Yeah. We don't know that that's not the entrance way to the actual hollowness of the earth, so further down like they already said it was three times bigger than they thought it was.

This is only, dare I say it, the tip of the iceberg. And I think the reverse version of that. So if they keep like exploring down there and find more caverns, who knows where these could lead. And if anyone's seen Alien vs Predator

I think you'll, you know, agree with me that there's definitely an alien base down there. Oh yeah. I haven't seen that one either. Have you got any Lego demonstration? Don't do that. Don't do that. Oh actually, you know what?

I do have another one here. Hang on a second. I'll be back in a second. Oh my god. Thanks Dan. Thanks for asking about his Lego collection again. God, we'll be here with that. I just wanted to see. I could have been a fluke. Take it off, take it off and wreck the scale.

He's literally going to bring out now Alien vs Predator. But playmobil. Here we go. So here it is. So you're going to enjoy this. Oh cool. Hello. Wait, what's happening?

Wow. So just to give you some context Recessing UFO that literally just started abducting a cow. A cow. And what's the cord? Is it one of those new hybrid cars

that need charging? Hybrid UFO! It's a lamp, yeah. So at the end of the day. Just again, to confirm your nudity your bedside lamp is a UFO abducting a cow. Yeah, I bought it on Etsy.

Wow, it is amazing. Yep, you're a geek. You can do it in the evenings. Allegedly. Wow, did we cover all of the news articles? There were so many, I can't even remember. You've done Yuri Gala. I mean, I did have the one that

spiders can be scared of spiders, but I think that sort of makes sense. Some scientists found out that spiders can be scared of spiders. It's like humans are scared of humans. Exactly. Any animal is scared of any other animal. But they've just proven it.

So somebody can use that when they're out drinking and they run short of conversation. Apparently, spiders have a retinophobia. Cool man, I might just grab an Uber. Ha ha ha! Is that the time? Yeah.

Okay, well then shall we move on? Yeah, let's look at the cryptozoological animal world and see if anything jumps out at us. Literally. Yeah, that's a cool sentence, right? Attention, all personnel, it's time for this week's cryptid

GRUH! Help me! Okay, so do we have any news to speak of? I've got this kayaker that claims to have seen the dog man. Oh, really?

Yeah, so unfortunately this is from the Ladd Bible. I remember I had issues with that last month. I put out a Ladd Bible. Well, I like to call them the Ladd Bible Letdowns. Ha ha ha! So here it is. The man had been out fishing in Australia when he captured this image,

which I'll show you in a minute. Is there a dog-like hominid stalking the wilds of the Australian outback? One man who has been identified only as John certainly seems to think so. The story goes that John had been out fishing in his kayak on Boxing Day and then he had an encounter

that he has since likened two reports of a half-dog, half-man creature. That's been cited, of course, in the US state of Michigan. It's where the dog man's famous for. As far back as the 1800s, the dog man, it's one of those famous cryptids. We don't speak of that much,

but it's definitely a known cryptid. So he goes on John, if that's even his name, and he says, I notice that every time I took a stroke with the paddle on my kayak, whatever this thing was, it was taking a stride

to each paddle I was taking. So I'm thinking, well, stop peddling, mate. But he kept peddling. Stride for stride, stroke for stride. He's spoken on this podcast, not ours, but one called

Believe, Paranormal and UFO podcast. Apparently it's no good and you shouldn't listen to it. That's what I heard. Yeah. I mean, they talk to the actual sources. They don't just get articles from like Lead Bible and stuff. Boring, you're boring me.

Get your team in, quick. I'm kayaking. He was kayaking. Yeah, every stroke I made. Every stroke he made. The dog man took a stride. Can I just grab that Uber? So, the creature,

I actually got it on film, on the photo. He says, he was confused whether it was photo or film. I've spoken to a few people and I reckon it's dog man. This is what he says. So, what do you think?

Well, he goes on. After that, I couldn't go back to the area to check it out myself. I was petrified for probably a month and I was waking up in the middle of the night and seeing this creature in my dreams. He says, he legit believes he's seen something terrifying,

which you've got to give him credit for. I've kind of done that once or twice in my life and you do keep thinking about that thing. So, that's got to mean something. Now, unfortunately, the photo is a bit of a let down, but I'll share it with you.

Okay, so let me just go to... There's the photo. So, it really is just trees. Yeah. I mean, what is he taking a photo of there? I guess it's the dark mass in the middle of the trees, but that

could just be a gap in the trees. That is just a gap in the trees. It kind of looks like it could be a monkey swinging. Yeah, I can see that, yeah. But also, he was saying that as he was kayaking along, it was like taking strides,

like it was running along the side of the bank rather than in trees. If it was in trees... You're looking at a monkey. Where does the dog come into it? But also, it's Australia, so there's not going to be monkeys in the trees there. You know?

But anyway, here's the other good side about taking a photograph that reveals nothing. It means that it could be the photograph he took and that's what he actually saw. And it was just a bad photo. So, if there was something that was clearly a little bit more like it could be someone

in a costume or something, but this photo reveals diddly squat. So, I think it's probably more legit than fake in that regard. Does that make sense? Yeah. Yeah, it makes total sense. Because it doesn't reveal anything.

But also, the article doesn't do a zoom in. You know how some articles would then go, okay, let's have a look. Yeah, exactly. So, the Bible articles need the word inserted allegedly.

That's the classic allegedly site. Somebody needs to hack their site and just automatically insert the word allegedly. If it's a gap in the trees, as it says, it could be a gap in the trees, it is

quite dark to be a gap in the trees. You think that's sort of a dark colour. It's like a physical something rather than just a space, you know what I mean? There's a branch there on the left and you can tell what

that looks like and then over here you know. I have to say, it's pretty dark over there on the left. Yeah, but also much like the amazing Time Traveler news from the future that we did last week.

The news that was so bad, it broke down the podcast for a month and a half. It did and there was that whole thing of that woman who came back from visiting Mars in the year 2500 and she came back with this one amazing image of humans living

on Mars and somebody nailed the comment which is so relevant to this. You've got a camera, something amazing is happening. Why are you taking one photo? Take a whole series of photos. Show us, take a video. There's no excuse

to just, you know, you're capturing dog, man. Don't take just one little photo and go, yeah, I think I got it. Keep going. This is what I say. It adds to the legitimacy because he was literally terrified and so he only took that one.

He was like, oh my God, I got to get out of here. I'm on a kayak. That guy's way up in the trees, he's going to get me. I don't know. You can't think what people are going through in their head. I mean, I would be scared, I think, if I saw a dog man in the trees. I wouldn't be like, oh, let me go in

and do a photo shoot with the beast that might rip my head off. Who knows what dog man's motivations are. Can I quickly just say that I can see on the right-hand side of this, this is taking us away from a strict crypto here, although it's to do with aliens,

is your buddy, Rhys, Georgio. Georgios Lucas. People listening will know him as the guy with the meme that says Aliens from Ancient Aliens, the History Channel show. But the headline here is the Aliens guy has a surprising connection to Arnold Schwarzenegger.

And I've just been thinking, what can that be the entire time? So could you possibly click on it? Because if he's a first cousin or something, that's an amazing story. That would be amazing. So Georgio was a bodybuilding promoter. That's how he met Arnold back in the day. It was a long time ago

before he got into Legendary Times magazine and then became a Ancient Aliens explorer traveling all over the world. There's a quote here from History Channel just to give more cred to Georgio. Georgios research expeditions have taken him around the world and he is one of only a few people to have visited and explored nearly every

mysterious ancient site on planet Earth. So you've got to give him kudos for that. Yeah, totally. Just back to dog man though, people kind of going, oh god, people are making a kudos. Giving kudos back to the dog man. Hey kudos, come on.

Get off the trees. What a great name for a dog. Get off the trees kudos. Somebody needs to call their dog kudos. If somebody's got a puppy out there at the moment and calls their puppy kudos, then I will send out a free t-shirt because that needs to be a dog's name, right?

That's genius, Rhys. He could start a company giving puppy's names. Yeah, what does he do now? He just names dogs, does he? Yeah, he did really well one time. He said the word kudos and then his mate said that would be a great name for a dog

and now instantly he set up his own company naming dogs. He shut down the Lego trading company. He just ended up keeping all the Lego. He didn't even sell any. That was a flop. And now he's just naming dogs. What do you call kudos?

Please, when you go on this promotional tour for our Flag Beach death, would they say, so what are you up to next? What's the next project? I named dogs. You've got to give me kudos for that, surely. That's all we've got time for. Thank you.

No, well, I just need to give some kudos to the dog man and the fact that we're sort of glossing over people who may not have heard of the dog man. The original sighting of the very first reported dog man encounter was 130 years ago in Michigan.

A couple of lumberjacks saw the creature they described as having a man's body in a dog's head. And then lots of other people saw it after that. Most of the original reports came from logging camps in the 1970s. Michigan was sort of like, started getting inundated

with the dog man. There was a report that a dog man ran out in front of a car causing it to flip over. There's been, like, 1970s. There was a video captured of what was dog man. Dog man's been about and around. There's a movie called Dog Man.

So this guy's report, we don't want to poo-poo it too much because there are legitimate sightings out there that people have had of dog man. Yeah, except he's in another country. I mean, he's in Australia. But, you know, there's

hairy hominids in all these different continents. So who knows where these things come from? It could be from another dimension and therefore could land anywhere. And the only other piece of crypto news that I had found was that somebody has taken a photo

of a lake monster in Wimbledon and the only reason to bring it up, Time Mountain has reported on it. And, of course, they've done the really frustrating thing of saying, stop the presses, the Loch Ness monster has been spotted in Wimbledon. It's like, stop calling it the Loch Ness monster.

It's a lake creature of its own right. You don't need to call every lake monster that it's Loch Ness and that it's somehow found a cave system from Loch Ness down to Wimbledon. Give it its own name. It's lazy and it's because it's the most famous one and say, oh, and he's moved,

he's on holiday, you know, he's gone down there now. It's so ridiculous. The only one thing of this is the photo is actually ridiculous and I doubt very much that it is actually but it was captured by a construction site manager

Eric Tross in his morning stroll through Wimbledon Park. He saw a mysterious shape in the water and he said, as soon as I spotted it, I thought of Nessie and hence I snapped a picture and he said, if a real Nessie exists, it's got to be some dinosaur that refuse to go

extinct and I think it does exist. So he's certainly not sort of sounds like he's not having a prank but certainly the photo doesn't look legit. I've been reading up on Nessie for a thing that I'm writing at the moment and I found out that there was a guy called Ted Holiday

who lived by the lock and he was convinced that Nessie was telepathic to an extent because the idea that Nessie kept being seen by people who didn't have a camera on them and who weren't quite ready for it to gather the evidence

so Nessie could sort of sense that there was either technology ready for the capturing and could avoid it. So what Ted Holiday used to do is he used to face the other way to the lock and jump around suddenly to catch Nessie.

I'm funny. The other thing he would do is he would say out loud that he was going one way when in fact he was going the other just to confuse. I'm just going to go to the car now and just and then have his camera ready turning the other way. The idea

of someone trying to outwit someone's telekinesis is ridiculous. I know that you can tell what I'm thinking but I'm not thinking that, am I? I'm not actually going to do that so I'm facing the other way and then Nessie's thinking, I know what you're thinking

because you're thinking it. You can't... I'm not thinking that. You might be a good actor in your head, mate, but I know exactly every thought that's going through it. No! And by the way, stop talking to me. I'm very busy

swimming. I'm very busy doing anything but looking for you. So just know that. Well, the other thing, the final part of Loch Ness News is that a property has come on the market with epic views of Loch Ness ideal for Nessie hunting

and going back to that brilliant business idea that we had of having properties around the world they're an iconic... Cryptid hotspots. Cryptid hotspots here. The Cryptid hotels. Yes! We got it and it's on the market

for only £385,000. Oh! And there's beautiful old stone cottages and lots of land and it's right like the views like straight at an area where lots of sightings of Nessie have been. Wow!

If you guys want to go and talk to your mortgage brokers and your bankers and stuff and just see what money you can scrape together and we'll see what we can do. I love that because that would be another property we've got that one. We've got the one out at Area 51 that was to sale. It's going to walk a ranch.

You found that ghost one buttons, the pointed church. The one, the church that the Dracula was first. But yeah, that one there. That's a g... Why aren't people investing in these ideas

of ours, guys? It's so weird! You could stay in each one, you get a stamp. Stamp your little book! Stamp your little book! Stamp your little book! I've stayed in five of the seven ones. I've got the little special Cryptid passport. Once you've got all

six stamps from the places then you get your gift, which of course is a goldfish in a bowl that moves down the street. That vacuums your lounge! You go straight for the dirty spots! It doesn't just drive everywhere!

Fish intelligence! Genius! Just very quickly, Buttons, you just mentioned Mothman. There's a newly discovered insect that resembles Mothman. Wow, I love this! That's the size of a human!

Fortress! Well, this is the issue. This is where you think did this inspire? Maybe it was like a particularly big insect that made people think. You know that thing where things are bigger if you're scared of them?

They seem much bigger. Unfortunately, this creature, this insect is 6.5 millilitres and millimeters in length. You've got a picture there? You've got to be very scared! Actually, remember Mothman? The very first sighting of Mothman

was around an army base where they think that they were doing some weird research and what have you. There was an ammunition base. Wasn't there a massive magnifying glass there as well? People were getting confused. Have I got that story right?

No, you're right! Right on top of the bridge that was built poorly. Yeah, that could answer a lot actually. This is it here. I see Mothman because it's got red eyes. It's got the red eye. Silver back.

It does actually look terrifying. If that landed on you, you'd freak out. You'd probably see it so tiny, right? Now, does that come with the giant magnifying glass? Because that's truly terrifying then. That is. Okay, that's amazing. I think the only thing

that could possibly top that would be this. Alright, that's all we've got time for this week. Oh, Dan, come back into the club! Dan, come back! I've got a Guinness! I've got a bunch of Guinnesses!

Who's this fish? Who's this stupid fish? Alright, it's in the arc! It's on the bloody arc! Get out of here! It comes... Stop beaming out spoons! You want your leg back, Mike?