The Cryptid Factor - 77: #77 The Knobs Issue

Episode Date: August 14, 2022

This episode has one more Knob that usual - who finds himself in prison with Rhys! Also Dan gets his butt read and Buttons rides a horse in his past life. Theres also peanuts pushed up hills, old Japanese men doing not much and a time-traveler's warning of trap-doors. There's big 'plausible' Cryptid news thats got the team excited too! *NEW SEGMENT ALERT* Fan Files! Where we lucky-dip-pick stories sent in from Fans. This inaugural segment sees Geese taken from the deep and Alien Big Cats on the beach! 

The Cryptid Factor, with Rhys Darby and Dan Schreiber. Well, take me down to Nob's Tech Shop and re-fought me... You know what Nob's Tech Shop is? That's your nemesis is Tech Shop. Tell me though, is his branding outside of shop got Nob's Tech Shop? Yeah. Right. And was it a custom?

Does he get going in there? I don't think I want that competition. Do you know what? Nob's is short enough that we could probably fit it into the theme tune. Oh. That's just short enough that that could fit. I'll give that a go. He's actually, he's been in touch and he gave me this, this intro.

So I actually do have to read the whole thing because he gave me a bit of cash on the side and he said, look, do this. I think that's why my inner strength like gave out on it because I knew there was something up with it. I realized that he's a bad guy. He's trying to get in on your action and take over from buttons. Well, the truth is, if you were going to put his name in the intro instead of mine, it would actually be quite easy because it would just go the cryptid factor with knobs and

it would take care of all three of you. How do you? It was short in the theme tune quite a lot actually. So. Right. I'm actually definitely doing this now. I'm starting to get on Nob's side. Wow.

Well, take me down to Nob's tech shop and reformat me onto DVD then hang me from your rear vision camera till I blind you in the face because we're back. I blind you in the face. Wow. What was that? Is that your next watch? Is that a yeti call? No, there's four sounds on it.

Okay. Wow. You've got howl, snort, roar or groan. So depending on how you guys go on the show, you'll get these sounds coming at you. Very nice. That was howl. So Reese has literally got a little sound device with four buttons on it and it says it's called emergency big foot.

Where did you get that? I found it at real groovy records. Theo found it. Oh my God. He said you'll need that for your show dad. Yeah, particularly the last button, groan. Yeah, well that's the one that I'll be using for you, I think, quite a bit. You've got a snort there.

I'm the guy that should have buttons. You're getting a groan for that. Here we go. What a start to a show. We're definitely back. We're definitely back. I've got competition now all of a sudden from a Nob. Yeah, Nob's is in town, baby.

You wait till you meet him. What's he like? He's not quite as effervescent as you, but he's quite shifty and he's got cash. So he wants in on the show. That's why he sent me that intro. So he's like an investor. He's told Dan that he's keen to get his name in the titles. It's shorter.

So, you know, he's moving his way in. You better watch out buttons. So you guys are back in New Zealand now? Yeah. Yeah. Last podcast, both of you were in the States. That's right. We were in Boston.

Yeah. I was happy. We were loving it. And it was summer. And now we've come all the way to New Zealand and it's raining and it's terrible. Terrential. It's like flooding. But hey, at least we're together again, but yet not in the same room now.

See, you look like you're in some kind of bunker or some kind of like barracks or something like that. Me? And I'm in a crypto zoology bar with lots of alcohol. I mean, why aren't you here? You're back at Cryptid Base. Now I'm obviously away on some mission. I'm in the barracks with the boys.

My old army, jammy son is getting ready to go out on maneuvers. Well, you could also well be in prison for all we know. Like, that doesn't look like a army style barracks. That's a lush prison. Yeah. Well, that's the truth. I'm actually in prison with knobs. He's in my room, mate.

Just stay asleep, mate, all right? I've put this appetite in the tech shop. Once we get out of here, I'm going to make thousands, all right? Trust me, this is the... Well, what did you guys go in for? It's a long story. Were you bootlegging little big foot sound making button devices? Were you?

I'm putting my... Yeah, I'm being done for impressions again. So coming through customs, I did an impression of the customs person to the customs person. Never a good move. So I got arrested. And then as I was getting arrested, I was doing impressions of the policeman arresting me, which got me in further trouble. And then to try and escape from custody, obviously, I did Sasquatch noises and tried to escape

from the vehicle, all of which were recorded. And now that's why I ran into knobs. And he's managed to put all my recordings on this device here. All the sounds that got you in prison on a little device. All the Sasquatch sounds. Here's the roar. Yeah. So he's put that on.

He was bootleg selling these. And of course, he's been arrested as an affiliate to my actions. So we're now both in the cell here. Just keep quiet. I told you, you can't... You're not allowed on the show till buttons are gone, okay? I'm going to be gone soon at this rate. I'm just going to give up.

I'm going to start drinking the alcohol behind me. The problem is with those buttons making the sounds of the stuff that you got imprisoned for, surely each time you hit a button and play one of the illegal sounds, it adds to your prison sentence. So each time you press a button, it adds another couple of days. Who are you working for? You're working for the Department of Corrections now? Like, what the hell?

You're right, Nob. See, this really against me. This is a conspiracy. He's trying to give me more bloody days in the cell. I've got a hotline directly to the prison people. They're listening to this right now. You still got the prison hotline. I thought you got rid of that years ago.

Prison hotline. I can't believe you bought the prison hotline. It was a thing advertised in the paper about 10 years ago. It says, why are you wasting money on that? He goes, oh, my coming handy one day. I get to give them a call and have a chat every now and then. Nobody else wants to talk to me. Just pick up the phone and talk to an inmate or two.

Corrections facility, Nigel speaking. Oh, I was just making sure this still works. Is that you, Buttons? Yeah. How's prison going? It's just the same as it always is, all right? I've got to have some news for you. There's a guy in there doing something about Naughty.

Yeah, no shit, Sherlock. That's why he's in here. Can you keep adding to your prison sentence when you're in prison? Imagine that. You're just like, each day you're about to be released. Get the button again. Another day.

Another day, mate. Your wife's outside waiting to pick you up. She's like, did he push a button again? Tell them to stop pressing the button. Yeah. You were meant to be in for one day. Seven years. It's not such a call, though.

Literally the shortest sentence they've ever given anyone. Seven years. Here's the raw. Come on. Another day. That's another day. Hey, I got an exciting email today. It says, hi, Dan.

Thank you for your email. I require a photo of your bottom to be in tight boxer shorts. High-cut briefs. It's 100 pounds for a reading. Thank you. No. Is this from? No, this is from Eisenhower.

No. Eisenhower, she stood me up again. No. Yeah, yeah. No terror reading. No. So I had to get desperate. I think you're pretty desperate to start with going to horizon now.

But I mean, okay, more desperate. Yeah. No, this is a rumpologist. Oh, my God. People who read your bum. Really? So, yeah, it's started by Sylvester Stallone's mom, Jackie Stallone. It's called Rumpology.

And the idea is that you read the creases of people's bottoms and the wrinkles. And that can tell you your past. And so the left bum cheek is the past. And your right bum cheek is the future. And I've been writing to Jackie Stallone for years trying to get her to read my bum. And she never replied. And then I discovered, unfortunately, on the fifth time that I wrote to her, that she died, which I didn't know in 2020.

Jackie Stallone died. Oh, that's sad. Yeah, but I found a British woman. Who's, who's up for it. So she sent me that earlier today. I think that's the wrong price to get is when you're talking about your bum. Oh, my God. This is crazy.

But we were in a group WhatsApp with my wife and she sent a message to all our friends, which I only spotted just now before we came on saying, in other news, a new low has been hit in the Shriver household tonight. Dan forced me to take a photo of his ass. So I sent off pictures of my butt to this lady and we'll see what she says about my future. That is amazing. But I hope she has. I mean, how do you know with the camera, whether, you know,

how they do the mirror turnaround with photos sometimes that she might get the left and right cheek. You need a right and right on it. Yeah. Oh, my God. That's so true. You need to take the photo again. That is so cool.

Yeah. That's so cool. Yeah. Oh, my God. That's so true. You need to take the photo again. That is so true. Quick.

Turn around. We'll take a screenshot. Show us your ass. Right. Left on one and right on the other. And we'll screenshot it. Quick. That'll be good for the Patreons.

They can read your. My butt. Yeah. That could be the next book club. Who's that? Okay, everyone. Take photos of your ass and send them into the cryptid factor. Please don't.

Please don't. Don't. But make sure you put the left and right on. Completely wrong. But here's the thing. She's meant to be reading literally the wrinkles and the creases of my butt. But how is she going to do it through my boxer shorts? I can't work that out.

But also what happens if you've got, like me, a perfectly smooth baby bottom. With no creases or wrinkles. Any opportunity to reveal to the listeners that your ass is perfect. It's quite an amazing ass, I've got to say. Is it? So why is it called rumpology when you've got the perfect opportunity to call it arseology? It's just such a bit of ring to it.

What do you do? I'm an arseologist. Yeah. Well, astrology is what it's called. Arseology. Yeah. Arseology. Exactly.

I think people wouldn't take it as seriously. And here's the other thing though. Arseology taken as seriously. Dan, did they say you had to leave your boxes on? So you left your boxes on. There's no point in that. I thought. So I'm curious to see why that's the case.

Are you sure you've just sent photos of your arse to an arseologist? Are you sure? Yeah. I'm just going to quickly check all of the dodgy sites. I bet it's a cryptid night. I know what these folks are like. There'll be someone devious there that's trying to trick poor Dan. That's it.

Fan art. Yeah. Look forward to the new series of fan art coming through. Oh, man. Another two days. Another two days for you, mate. Two noises I heard though. Hang on.

I'm just going to call that. Yeah. Two more days. He just played two of them. Yeah. Okay. That's a hotline. Hotline.

The nearest jail. The only jail in New Zealand. The hotline worked the other way as well. Is it people getting their one phone call? And then just they come through to you? They come to me. Mum? Oh, my God.

Get me out of here. Oh, I can't help you, mate. Apparently there's a guy in knobs in there who might be able to help you. Oh, man. Oh, I really want to hear how your rompology comes out, dude. I can't wait. I'll let you know. Well, yeah, next episode.

Yeah, next episode. Yeah, I'll have an update. Can I ask how much does it cost? It's £100, which is much cheaper than Jackie Stallone because she was £300 per arse cheek. So this is... Per arse cheek? Yeah.

So you can only tell your future or your past or $600 for both? You can get both, yeah. But I think, you know, it's quite expensive to get your bum read. So she gave the option of one cheek, your past or your future. But why would you pay $300 to read your past bum cheek? Yeah, I'll just have the future, thanks. Don't worry about the past. I know what happened there.

And also she just needs to Google your Facebook account and go, from your left bum cheek, I can tell that there was a birthday party in your recent... And there was a mermaid cake, I think. Just read that and your bum. No, no. She's reading your past life, I think. Oh, past life? I think so.

Must be. It's not going to be like your birthday stuff. Oh, that's exciting. That's cool. I think, maybe. But pay $300 for that. I would too. I tried to.

Hey, just briefly on past lives, it got me thinking, and I'm sure buttons, you have a theory on this, but do you think we have the same body in our past life? Because you know how we live again, but do we have the same bum, or do we have anything the same? Because I don't think we do. Are we going into a buttons theory time? Yeah, let's kick off with that. Oh!

Down in the garden beside the little pond, sits a little dainty boy with a special bond. He likes to watch the pixies traveling through the trees. The sprinkle, all the magic dust, he sees, yes, please. It's buttons theory time, buttons theory time, buttons theory time, come join in. Buttons theory time, buttons theory time, everybody hold your hands and have a big grin. The sting that literally gives people nightmares. I haven't heard it until I listen back to the last episode. It's phenomenal.

It is next level sting. I'm going to do this. Is that your bootleg knobs watch for stranger things? That's an extra week. He's telling you to play that one. Hang on, wait there. No, I already had this going into prison. Come on.

Just play the stranger things. Hey! An extra week. Thank you. Oh, no, you and knobs are it mate. I don't like the way he looked at me. Give him an extra week, will you? Anyway, go hurry up to your theory.

No, see, this is the thing. At the moment, I'm learning how to ride a horse. Oh. Are you here? Yeah. How many years after your wife and daughter have been riding them? But this is the thing. I suddenly thought, well hang on there until riding horses.

If I get into riding horses, then we can do it as a family. I thought I would take that on. Now the thing is, it turns out that I'm actually finding it quite easy. And I'm really annoying my wife and daughter and stuff, because I'm actually hopping on and I'm going, it feels kind of second nature. And this is going to sound a bit fruity. But whilst I'm learning to ride,

I try and mentally connect with a past wife, because you can almost guarantee that up and up until, let's say a hundred years ago, horses meant everybody would have been able to ride a horse, right? Yeah, sure. Because they were just the normal mode of transportation. So therefore, you can almost guarantee that in the past life, you would have actually been able to ride a horse.

Yes. And like we know. Not necessarily, but yeah. Well, mostly there's every chance, right? Depending on which life, depending on how far back you go, because I'll interject and say that there was a point where, you know, only the aristocracy had horses, or only those that could afford a horse could have a horse.

That's true. But up until recent times, it was like the milk was delivered on horses and everybody, like a horse, was a horse. Of course. So who were you picturing how far back? Well, I know. Were you just a hundred years ago delivering milk? Is that what you were picturing?

Yeah. How far back are you going in your head? To the seventies? I don't know. No, to like, well, possibly. To like the seventies. You're alive. Nineteen, seventeen.

I was around. Something's got past life when you're still around, when he was around. All these lives. But this is the thing. I'm like, I feel a connection that I've got this ability to ride a horse. Maybe not everybody has this, but certainly I felt like there was some connection to past life.

Did you put a bit of weight on your left bum cheek to really hammer home the past life theories on that side? Theories on that side really rubbed it into the saddle. It was like I think there's a little knob on the settle there that I Anyway, the Well, you've got a hotline as well All right, we'll see if you can get him in here No way every time you mentioned knobs. It's a day off apparently for of my sentence. So

He's quite happy with that. Keep digging though, buddy. We'll get out of here. Just What's he digging a tunnel? But don't you tell that buddy hotline Anyway, my theory is is that to your point around do people have the same body if you This whole horse riding thing is based on the fact that these children that have incredibly vivid past life Memories Nowadays with some with a lot of people Feeling like they don't belong in their body. They feel awkward in their body because it feels different

potentially Or could it be that that's just past life experiences much like I feel a very strong connection to riding a horse Back in the 1970s Yeah So that's the theory and that's the that's the well, yeah Yeah, your body and you're in a different body Doesn't because after all of this intense and it's like for me Remember my show or I was a bird in every one of my past lives

And then I became a man and everyone was like no, that's not right You know, it's like some people like myself just don't look like I fit in my body And I'm bumping into things all the time and I'm yeah, but clumsy and stuff Maybe I'll just point out you've had a good 40 plus years to get used to that body Yeah Buttons and the fact that you're still walking into walls and stuff very slow very very disappointing progress It's a very strong past life memory. I've been a lot shorter. Yeah of being what a little pug dog or something

Yes Okay, that's good. That's that's uh, that's I like that theory. Um That was worth listening to now Let's punch into No, look a theory is a theory and I'd love to get people's viewpoints on this And I think it's it's worth it's worth everything's worth talking about because imagination and theorizing Is I think what we're supposed to do on this planet We're supposed to

Go into banter and chat about why we're here and who we are and what's the what are the answers and so I I praise you for that and I I'd love to see what the responses and what the fan heart is going to be based on that stuff Okay, now let's move into I want to see what the fan heart's going to be for Dan's arsology I'm excited It's gonna get to the point where we only do this show for to see what the fan art from that week is gonna be Okay, what about our big segment? Let's do it. Here we go. It's weekly world weird news

Okay, well then what what do we got? Uh, I'll I'll kick off with one Okay, according to a new survey 49 of Japanese companies claim they all have an old man who does nothing I Love that Instantly plausible for me. Well recently. I've got one of those on your prison cell with you. I'll knobs there in the back Oh man does nothing my prison time. He's not doing nothing. He's digging a small hole. He's very slow Is that actually going to come into a tunnel or is that just somewhere where you can take a leak?

You know, there is a toilet in the corner here Okay, I've got a headline. Okay, here we go. Man pushes a peanut up a mountain using only his nose Oh Man I saw this. I saw this. Where did I see this? It's so Weird. Yeah, it's incredible. Okay. Can't wait to hear more about that because I only saw the headline and I'm weirded out by Okay, well my one here is a time traveler warns hostile subterranean alien species

Will be found in 2023 not these ones again He always falls for the time traveler coming back with photos or a warning at some point. We have to believe them, right? Come on. It's like someday. It's going to be a time traveler. Okay Once we've done these three then we'll launch into some fan files Do one of those each as well because I feel like the cryptid knights and the other fans They push articles through to us every week and it's it's worth Diving in on a lucky dip basis to see what's there as well. But in the meantime, dan So my story, uh, I'm just gonna quickly chuck because there's not much to talk about but a second headline that I've got

Just very quickly lifeguard gets attacked by shark while teaching a shark safety lesson so There's a guy he was I don't actually know how he is but I he got out of the water and you know, I think hopefully he's okay But he was uh, he was in the water pretending To be having a shark attack happening And then a shark actually came up and started eating him while he was doing the fake shark attack Um, and I think possibly for a while. They just were like, wow, he's really good at faking

Yeah Well, these these, uh, lessons are very detailed guys got so that's exactly how you scream, huh? I shouldn't joke about this is he alive I hope so I'm sure he'd see the sense of humor in it. It's ridiculous. Anyway, hope you're doing well, buddy Hope you're all right. Let's go on to the uh, the japanese headlines. So this is in japan There is a consulting company called a shikugaku who interviewed 300 employees over 300 companies They may ask them if they knew of any old guys who don't work working at their companies

And it turns out 49 of all the companies of the 300 said, yeah, we've got that old guy who does nothing So there's a japanese term which is oji san Which implies an age gap between the person speaking and the speaker So they surveyed people aged 20 to 39 At a wide range could place old guys anywhere above the 40s Uh, so that makes sense I'm not quite sure I'm not quite sure if that made sense

Hang on. I'm starting to wonder if I'm the old man that does nothing at my work I don't think there's any wonder there mate You I Oh Yeah, so um, it just turns out that all these companies have this one So it says uh, the majority of the answers fall into three options The most popular said that these do nothing employees took too many smoking breaks The second say that they were just staring into space

Yeah, I'm the thought guy. What are you talking about? I'm thinking about how things could be better here for the company And so they they asked the younger people what they believe The reason was that these old guys were doing nothing at work and the most common response, which was at 45% Said that these men simply just had no desire to work So, I mean, it's not much of a story It's just good to know it is what it is, but it's not surprising And yeah, you know, you get the imagery in your head of someone who's been there forever and just still comes in

Because he hasn't been let go And he's just sort of, you know, he gets his position might even have an office And then he's just sort of like looking at the books Things like that and then like getting his coffee and or whatever and taking a paycheck home I would I'd love to see is an actual job application for that position like oh the old guy. Yeah, he passed away So we need a new old guy. What we're gonna need you to do is sit there. Yep. And what and do what just nothing Just sit there and do nothing. Yep. Just yep. No, but he could be, you know, they have so much wisdom So he could be someone he or she could be someone that you come into the room just to have a chat to

He or she part that's an interesting point. There's no old woman. You said old men. It was just old men Yeah, well, that's the survey It's more likely that there are no useless old women. The women would be actually doing stuff That's a really good point because you think about all of your grandmas and your grandparents and all the old people in your life Like women seem to get more and more active when they're older and doing stuff and making a difference always part of groups doing things Helping people out The men just sort of like slowly diminishing to just a body that kind of sitting there Yeah has one hobby

And then the rest of it is just sort of Mulling about imagine the performance review meeting with the cocaine pool dinner. So I guess okay It's performance review time gary. Um Just a couple of things to note here There was a day last week where you actually helped somebody Move a box and so that's not so good because that's doing something. So also we're worried it's going to put your back out Can you stop Like lifting that, you know, I saw that even that coffee cup you were handling yesterday seemed a bit weighty

So we've got you a lighter one here. Oh, thank you very much. Yeah You know, I was I said the other day I came in it was the weekend I didn't realize so I just did what I normally do. No, I noticed That's amazing. All right. Well, let's move on to this next one. You guys it's basically, uh, the peanut pusher Oh, yes, okay 53 year old adventurer He broke the record for pushing a peanut to the top of pike's peak in the shortest time Let's get into it. He's from colorado springs. His name's bob salem and

He's actually become the fourth person ever to push a peanut up pike's peak using his nose So I got a I got a quibble. Oh, yeah Hi, here we go. I haven't had one of these for a while. It comes in like it's an official quibble, is it? Old friend quibbles, right? Here comes quibbles I do remember seeing this story and I remember seeing a photo of this guy and when he says he uses his nose I'm pretty sure he's attached a sort of spade to his face He's certainly got some sort of mechanism That allows for the peanut to be cupped from what I saw

Effectively like when you're in the cinema and you scoop out the sweets in order to put in your bag That's what he's attached to his nose So he's got the peanut in there. Now. Here's the other thing though It wasn't one peanut. He kept losing it. I think he went through like 50 peanuts. So it's not like a singular peanut The whole thing's a It's a room. That's what I have The unfortunate thing is is that shovel attached to his face makes him look like Hannibal Lecter From science to the labs

Pumping into that guy on your nice hike up the peak What are you doing? I'm gonna get those peanuts on the top of the hell I mean, but it is amazing at the same time. Well, but did he get a Guinness book world record for that? Yeah, he's got some certificates there. I don't know if it's Guinness, but there's a few comments After the article which include I finally understand why aliens don't want to visit the earth Someone here has put why I mean why? What a waste of time energy money and effort just to accomplish something so stupid and useless Wouldn't that time have been better spent actually enjoying the scenery and maybe taking some nice photos?

Nah, that would indicate a level of intellectual maturity And you just can't have any of that in this wonderful age of so-called enlightenment People love it. People are all amongst it. More impressive, but as ridiculous would be push a mountain up your nose with a peanut And another comment here, whoa there buddy leave some ladies for the rest of us Ha That is so weird But also, you know, the saddest thing is is that he's the fastest to have done it There are other people that have done it. He's not the first. He's the fastest

So other people have done this before. Well, yeah, I think I read I called a glimpse of when Reese had the screen share It said 1929. I think was the very first time that it was done. Why? Why? Why? I mean because because it's there Yeah, I'm on the fence. I it's ridiculous, but I do love ridiculous things You know, there's no point to it. Absolutely and I love that on the other hand. I do agree that it is Probably a real waste of time the certificate and the news and something you can say at parties. I think that's hilarious I think it's really cool But also then there's the aspect like you're saying Dan of it, you know How many peanuts do you use and he actually didn't use the nose? There was a special

Thing attached to him. Yeah, it's a weird one and truly worthy of weekly worldwide news. That's for sure. That's a show So well done me. I'm gonna give myself a howl And an extra day No team this down was it worth it was it worth the extra day? Well, you heard his voice there that was shh Buttons is your is your hotline an actual hand is in my hand they Embedded I actually paid an extra 795 a week and I got it embedded in my thumb and my little finger And I just have to go like this now. Yeah, and it just looks so cool

And I can call anytime anywhere just whenever I see somebody doing something wrong I get to call up and just tell the prison. I just had an update guys knobs He's actually digging this tunnel to your place buttons. It's not to freedom He's digging it to the cryptid base What's he gonna do here? I'm worried he's gonna take you out. No. Yeah, he's on his way No I don't want to be

It serves me right really for building my house right next to the prison My wife was like it's this bad location. I'm like, no, look at the views We get to see all of those fencing and those lights those bright lights at night Look at that beautiful 20 foot concrete fence with the barbed wire along the top there. That's gorgeous But there's a machine gun post Oh, it's very unique. Well, I'll keep an eye out for knobs Yeah, that's That sounds wrong for lots of reasons

Okay, well if I can move on to my news before we get on to uh fan news So yes, once again a time traveler has revealed themselves and while actually they're they're incognito It's not like they've come out. They've just gone to tiktok and said that they are a verified time traveler But they warn of a hostile species You just glide it over that. I know. Yeah, they are a verified time traveler. Just to let you know and now here's the story Well, you know, they have said that they are a real time traveler And they say another world inside of earth will soon be discovered They said that the earth the inner earth is home to a hostile race of humans

That have been silently causing disaster around the world for years and actually are responsible For a lot of tragic events that have happened over the years. So. Oh, wow. This is it here. Should we should we listen to the The tiktok video? Yeah Says attention. Yes. I am a real time traveler. Oh wait I am a real time traveler another world inside of earth is soon discovered On january 13th 2023 someone who is exploring deep underground caves. Oh mate. Come on Underground caves finds a giant hatch The hatch leads to another world known as azawa where everything is new species liquid. Come on, buddy

Everything is new species liquids Human alvanzawa are very hostile and have been causing many problems such as 9 11 another That was amazing The music is so intense. That was so intense and the script is moving way too fast for them to read I don't fancy my job as trailer guy But i'm having to wait wait wait come back come back You know what in the world Here's a hint for anyone who's doing these kind of videos the people that are into this kind of stuff are slow readers. Okay, we need

You know, it's highly intellectual people who can flick read They're not looking at that. Okay, throw it down for the likes of buttons And myself and clearly dan as he's reading out loud And I just saw dan just went on to the youtube video of that and one of the comments I saw was like Hey time traveler. Can you tell me if there's going to be another pirates of the caribbean movie? I think he's replied and he said no I dammit. I really like those movies Someone has said if you are a real-time traveler then show us a video in your time

And he says i'm not able to as i'm not allowed to bring anything through the domain of fusion The domain of that's another good one come up with a name for something that people can't quite fathom, but it sounds Logical and futuristic and then people won't and that's what I do all the time. Yeah The new planet called asawa is home to another human race. Well, it's not actually another planet It's actually l-planet, but from within side. They're getting lots of views. I'm on his page. So he's got 65 000 followers average viewing of His videos

They go up as high as 2.1 3.2 million. Wow. There you go. He says yes. I'm a real-time traveler from the year 2906 10 people will soon get superpowers Unfortunately, he taught well they spell traveler with only one l then even Me i'm not great at spelling, but I know time traveler has two l's It's a red flag. Maybe we don't know what spelling is like in the year That's so true. We've got rid of excess l's That's one of the

Everything's the same. We're just dropping a lot of the l's. Well, the other thing somebody commented saying Why doesn't everybody just ignore the hatch leading to that place? I've got two questions for this guy Has he just read hg wells the time machine and b Has he watched lost? That's Every answer is yes to both of those and I know where he's got his material from Think outside the box, dude. Okay. There's no hatch to the

world if anything it's an intricate cave system that is hidden via foliage Deep down in a sinkhole I've actually just written a a chapter about hollow earth for my my book the reason we haven't been able to make podcasts I've been I've been writing about hollow earth I love how hollow earth by the way Yeah, well, so here's the crazy thing which I discovered through the research is that it's all isaac newton's fault Basically that hollow earth is a theory really and it's because he had a mathematical mistake within his principia mathematical Which is like the

Like the masterpiece of scientific textbooks It's where he had his theory of gravity and and a whole new newton's laws were all in there It's it's it's the book that scientists say is one of the greatest ever published And there was a mistake in there and it was edmund hallie of hallie's comet the guy who The comet is named after He saw this mistake and it was about how dense the moon was and he was like well If it's if it's not very dense and the earth is not very dense Then it must be hollow and he was looking at all the kind of the moving geomagnetic

Readings of the poles and stuff. Why does stuff keep moving? So he was like, oh, it must be hollow And then he came up with the idea that it must be luminous inside and there must be life And this is one of the greatest scientists ever. He's the reason for hollow earth theory It didn't exist before him They had like there was stuff in mythology of underworlds and stuff like that But like the idea that it was properly hollow So there's some science backup to this whole theory

Well, there was and then newton corrected his equation But then hallie kind of still believed it for the rest of his life. He didn't let go of it. Yeah That's why it's been a mystery for so long that you know people have been searching for the idea of There being a hollow inside to the planet You know, it makes sense and there's a mythology behind it but What I love is the idea that there is another race under there or that that's where perhaps the cryptids could go You know, you just don't know but

As time progresses it seems like an easy out to think. Oh, yeah, there's another world inside the world we haven't Gone down there apart from into the ocean to the depths of the ocean, but we haven't Not to our knowledge. We haven't used the big boring machine that elon musk has to kind of Go down further and just see. Yeah, how far his knobs got Well, this is why I'm bringing it up because in actual fact update knobs has got further than anyone else. He's Gone wrong somehow and gone deep. You're going very deep down there He wants to see how far he can get

He's gonna Now what's gonna happen? Not only is knobs gonna pop up in my place here, but he's gonna be the one that pulls open the hatch He's gonna get the hatch It's gonna be this bastard called knobs. Who's gonna unleash all hell on earth and it's thanks to you He got him in his tech shop, buddy. That's gonna get a roar Ah two more days Well, we need more time to find the center of the earth Okay, well, should we uh, it sounds like we've got a new segment on the boil. What's that?

I tell you what because we are running through this. Let's if we can From the fans do cryptid stories predominantly. Yeah, okay. Now There's one big story which we shall save for this week for when we do it Which is the Loch Ness one, which uh, I don't know whether you guys know about it But there's been a big push a big update on what's happening there So I think we should all share that as our major cryptid boss But is there anything else you can find from fans that yeah, I've got I've got some in my spreadsheet that I have been working on Oh great the time. I've been reading that a lot. So I'm excited to see

What you've got there Should I let you do it? No, no, you do it. I know you want to get the glory from your work. I mean, oh, I do Yeah, no, I really do. I'd love to have the glory from somebody else who that I have been doing it for But that's fine. I'll do the glory. I'll do it Before you do that, I'm going to come up with an emergency sting for this because it is fan files Oh Yeah, yeah, yeah, we need a sting. We need a sting for this. You ready? Here it is

And now it's time for It's fan files Files from the fans But hang on you're you're gonna go you're gonna go back to jail every time we play that Get back on the cell Out of interest was that hatch opening up the azoa Hatch Well, I can picture of the hatch when I've tried to picture it as do you remember the tv show

Trap door stay away from that trap door There's something down there. Oh, it's the greatest cartoon. It was like claymation. It was incredible. You guys didn't know that You don't know trap door. No That was the whole point. It was like don't open the trap door You got to keep it closed and then every episode Someone opens it for some reason and monsters come out and start what messing the stuff for us incredible All right, let's do this thing again And I want you to do your extra bit of stay away from that trap door after I um say fan files

Okay, so let's do this thing again. Here it goes And now it's time for Fan files stay away from that trap door Because there's something down there Yeah, that's the sting that is a great sting. I love it I love how every one of our stings starts with the creaky door. Yeah Not every one Just the best one

Just the best ones But now not only are you going to jail for the Bigfoot sound I'm going to jail for copyright infringement I'm thinking someone else has thieved you I'm going to be the only guy left outside of prison going Which is his plan Let's do it through the hotline to you. Yeah, that'll be the part Okay, well should we Just do headlines and then you decide which one we want to go into. Yeah, let's do three and choose one

Okay, here we go Puma spotted by two fishermen on UK beach Michelle Cushley sense that they sent that one to us. So that one this good is alien big cats and yeah, I love those Trish B sends a whitey quite a few people sent this one into us catfish noodler claims A friend summoned Bigfoot to kill him So he the friend You're you're breaking up a bit No, you're you're breaking up

No, no I'm here. I can tell I'm fine. I'm fine. You're breaking up a bit Maybe knobs has accidentally hit your broadband Wi-Fi. I think yeah, because you're frozen as well He's cutting your hotline. I know he's underneath you with some uh little pliers He's trying to cut my hotline to the prison cut it out. No, don't cut it out No, hey knobs All right, mate, just go deeper go down I think he's willing to do life to sabotage the show

And find the asawa Okay, so did you get my first news article? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah the abc's on the beach the puma Yeah, the second one was from Trish B Although a bunch of people sent it to us which is uh catfish noodler Claims a friend summoned bootfoot to come and kill him. So he killed the friend Oh, yes. Yep. Yep. I thought that one might be quite dark It's just involves someone being murdered. It's not so good Uh, okay. Well then the the third one to choose from is from Colleen Anderson and

She sends a man warns to stay out of lake after three geese are dragged to their deaths From something in the water. I like a good geese death Not a human death. We don't want human deaths, but geese deaths perfectly great Okay, so which of those three? Well, I'm a fan of the abc's. I think that's the definite cryptid story Let's let's go with that one and then if we've got time we can do um missing ducks Okay, well And this is more fishermen the fishermen seem to be uh featuring a lot encrypted at the moment fishermen in close encounter with huge puma prowling the shore of a uk beach

The trio of fishermen reported seeing what they believed to be a puma whilst parking their cars at gimlet rock in Puelly he put Puelly he Saying that the cat was your line might have been cut there. What was that one? I think Well, Puelly Puelly helly Puell helly. Yeah, no, he's cutting. I think he's nibbling on your line there. There's something It's not coming through quite one more time Puell helly Puell

Let's just move on from it. I think definitely Yeah, it's it's that knobs. Someone's got a wire loose and I don't know whether it is knobs or buttons I'm definitely loose. That's for sure well, the thing is it's off the coast of wales where they were fishing and You know the welsh language. It's beautiful, but it has a lot of consonants together and I'll forgive you If it's well, we can all forgive you. Thank you. Thank you very much They had the shock of their lives when they spotted a very large cat prowling just meters away The trio reported coming face to face with what they believed to be a puma

Whilst parking their cars pull wilson pull oan and patrick oan the three peas Wow, pull pull and patrick. There are folk band as well They noticed the brown and tawny animal, which is funnily enough the name of their band the brown and taunis They saw it near the a rocky outcrop at the end of the town's beach two days later They reported it to puma watch north wales. I didn't realize there's a puma watch of north wales Yeah, so that's how prevalent these creatures are that there's actually a An organization set up that you can report to when you see them. Yeah, well, they say this is the first ever reported sighting of Uh, a big cat. So that's exciting. They've set up the organization

They got their first sighting. No, it's the first sighting of the cat on the lind peninsula Well, this is the first time I've heard of one out on the beach like yeah right near the ocean So that's that's why I thought it'd be interesting to hear this. Yeah Well, one of the peas pull or pull Said one of the pools said myself and two friends had turned up to do night fishing We just parked our cars when we noticed What at first appeared to be a dog of medium to large size and it sat upright watching us at approximately 20 meters away It was sat amongst the dune grass

Which was on a slope going upwards away from us I walked a few meters towards it while my friend turned his headlights on to illuminate it more So oh, it's good. It's like, you know, that whole kind of nighttime. Did I see what I did see? Yep, you know and a good time that's when they come out to prowl and hunt and and the like so that it's credible We realized then it was not a dog, but a very large cat It's then stood up and turned away And loped away from us turning its head to look back at us once We didn't see it again

The cat was as big as a golden retriever. Wow. What I like about that Also is that when it walked away it did the old one head turn You know, like that's a classic cryptid move like like like bigfoot did in the Paddy video Well, they said uh puma watch said they have had multiple reports of pumas in sand dunes from across north wales Just not one from that particular beach. So So it's really quite plausible Great great sighting any footage or photos. No, they don't get their phones out fast enough like most people

It's funny everybody kind of thinks. Oh, well, surely they would Pull out your phone and take a quick photo, but you're so excited and you're trying to think should I chase after it? Should I catch it? You're trying to figure it out. So anyway, they are certainly very excited Cool All right. Well, you're gonna get a roar for that one I was trying to find a friend of mine sent us a sort of personal account Well, someone's personal account of a giant cat in the same area and I just can't find it. So, uh Now you know that

Thanks for that. That's awesome. It's a great update there from dan You're into that slightly dodgy, but it's me just so you know. No Yes, it is Stop denying it. No, it's not me. It's great. Like I can see I can see myself perfectly. You're literally frozen on screen Oh I tell you what my prison internet is a damn site better than your And it's because I'm stealing your wi-fi from uh over the fence It's like it's having a hard time coming through the concrete wall

I think your cables are definitely getting chewed on here. This is is that better. Yes, you're almost moving like a human now Yeah, you better Well, that's that's the first time in my whole life because in my previous life. I used to actually be a dog Yeah So Okay, do you want to do the missing ducks? Yeah, okay, should we do the ducks? Yeah, here we go Man warns people to stay out of lake after he watches three geese dragged to their deaths

Wayne who lives close to the lake and swims regularly in the water is now too worried to head back in And has decided to swim somewhere else Which is which is nice His name is Wayne Owens. He's 61 years old He was out on the water and he said he saw three geese dragged underwater by something never to be seen again Wow The man who works on all's water That's the lake all's water in the lakes district in the uk

Now wants people to stay out of the water particularly with their children and their dogs in case something terrible happens So wait, did three geese get pulled down at the same time? Yeah, that's that's freaky sounds it And he said Wayne said I was on the steamer I he's on a steam ship now. That's cool. What is this? How old is this news? Here we go He said He said he was on the steamer and this gray lag goose was taken from the top of the lake and dragged Backwards and it was not to be seen again. We kept watching and it didn't come back up

It was full size maybe 10 or 12 pounds and was flapping furiously And it couldn't get away from whatever had it the next day I saw two smaller ones get dragged underwater and my skipper witnessed this as well So it wasn't all at the same time But that's actually even better. There's two separate occasions Three geese gone all together Yeah Wayne explained that when he had first told a skipper he had not heard of anything like this happening on the lake

But admitted he didn't disbelieve him Wayne said I was talking to the skipper when another two small gray lags Maybe five pounds each and they could not fly properly were dragged under Yeah, they'd been separated from the flock and ran across the water. Wait, what? Who? Wayne, the Wayne ran across the water. No, the that doesn't make sense Uh, the first one was taken down immediately my skipper Who was 36 years experience on the lake was with me and he said he'd never seen any going on like that I gotta say I've never seen any going on like that again. What year are we?

This is old news. I never seen I never seen anything going on like that Anyway, he's he says that there is talk maybe they could be Freshwater sharks or it could be a crocodile or something like that under there And he said you can even get very large catfish Which could be taking them which could take them down. Yeah. Yeah, sure Maybe but it's not common that doesn't they don't normally catfish don't normally take ducks Really hard to eat a bird like yeah for these Animals because there's just yeah, it's all bone and feather and like to get through that underneath there to get to the meat

It's it'll go be difficult unless it was a something much bigger than a catfish. Yeah. Well, he says as well He says Also, occasionally you'll get irresponsible people releasing foreign species into lakes and rivers Yeah, mom. I bought an alligator. Oh, you know, I bring it in the house Take it down and get rid of it into that lake down there. Mom. I can't it's an exotic reptile It's gonna kill anything. Well, put it in the lake. We don't want it here Oh, all right. I'll go down in the middle of the night then put it in front of that steam ship But the good thing is that that's effectively what he's saying is, you know is

Encrypted and how lots of alien cryptids happen as far as like alien big cats That's the theory behind it, right people releasing foreign species into the wild and then them Repopulating and all of a sudden you've got Yeah, absolutely taken two things need to be done there just monitoring that Body of water to see whether geese are still Landing on it and whether the bird life is still, you know Frequenting that place because if they're not then there is something down there that scared them away and secondly Scour the lake, you know get down there and scuba dive it yourself or depending on how deep it is send in

A mini sub and let's find out what is down there. Yeah a mini steam powered sub to go with this Get one of those old diving suits You Is like good for tourism though, and that's uh lakes district trying to get in on the cryptid game. Yeah, that's what it is Love it. Yeah, speaking of which dan have we got an update on the little elephant toy new australian cryptid? Well, I asked um a couple of cryptid knights one in particular to do a illustration of the cryptid It's small steps. We've got a nice drawing of it now I think the next thing needs to be a vote on the name

Of what to call the cryptid because at the moment it's just called an elephant humanoid cryptid. So One suggestion that i'm pushing forward is nari Uh or narrow because it's narrow bean lake. So in yeah Loch Ness monster has got that in its name. Hasn't it nessy? Yeah, so yeah, uh and my brother's gonna go down to the local tattoo shop and see if they'll sell the stickers and start spreading Slowly the word And I think getting an actual tattoo that will also Yeah, you know give it some Oh, let's do that because for those that don't remember in a previous episode

Dan has discovered uh a little known cryptid in australia A sighting happened when was it in the 60s? No, it was it was earlier. I think yeah. No, no, you're right. It's in the 60s Yeah, it is very near to where I grew up and I didn't grow up with any cryptids And so that's very exciting. Uh, and I I want to bring it back So we're on a mission to make a cryptid famous once again and and give this town Something to look for and something to keep their eyes open for them something for people to go and visit and see if they can spot Right. Yeah, I mentioned it to a great Loch Ness monster hunter who is is someone who we're going to have on the show Hopefully in the next month or so. He's the guy who's been living on the banks of Loch Ness for over 30 years now

So he has the Guinness world record for the longest vigil for looking for Nessie of anyone in the world He's called steve I said You know, what do you make of this like the idea of me trying to sort of push the idea of of a cryptid Back into the community And he was sort of he was sort of mixed message about it because he was like well, you know Is it is it possible that it's real is there? So, you know, would you camp on the side of this lake for 10 years looking for it? and I said, uh

I don't know. I don't think so and he said well you got to balance that out You know, it's sort of like we're not trying to just create false monsters here We're trying to look for real things like he's like i'm looking for a real thing here Yeah, you don't want to um, you know sort of muddy the waters of cryptozoology by Pushing things that may be a waste of time But at the same time There's an element of fun in doing that and by pushing Creatures that may or may not exist

With a little more weight on the may not still Enforces the idea of there being things out there and raises up cryptozoology as a whole As something fun for people to do. Yeah Well, also as I said to you guys last time this is on a road where It is the most haunted road in sydney as well, which I didn't know So we're looking at a general kind of skinwalker ranch potential here. You know, this is a I like this has got paranormal It's got yeah, it's got cryptids. It's much more weight Certainly the the haunted area. Yeah, there could be something in the uh magnetic

anomaly On that surface there where this creature could have come from another dimension was seen On that particular night, but doesn't actually live there So, yeah, I think it's I think that's makes it a hell of a lot more It could be on lay lines. It'd be interesting to see whether there's ufo. Oh activity. Yeah Very good question that whole area Let's get some more research on that area and see if anything else has popped up in terms of UAPs or Narrabeen for anyone who wants to look into it since it but that yeah, okay

And I like the nary. I think that's that's a good one to start off with at least we get a better name because It does describe it's the area and that's what the you know, that seems to be the cryptozoological kind of go to rule for naming and nick name and then if we all get tattoos of Nary or narrow then uh, that takes it to a next level as well, right? Yeah, the person to get a nary tattoo will definitely get a mention on the show. Let's put it that way What out of the three of us? Just in general, I don't think you know

But I love how tattoos now are like tiny and they're like a little like hand drawn is the real cool stuff That's in these days. Yeah Hey now with the very last thing we do before we wrap up is we need to do it And that's an update No, I can't that's uh, that's a recap I'm gonna stop you there for two reasons before we wrap up We haven't even done our own cryptid bars and talked about this massive Loch Ness monster plausibility from fossil discovery Okay, which is what I'm building up to. Oh, I thought you're building up to say. Let's see you later next week

No, I want to get into this because I think you know, this is this is major news in the cryptid world So let's let's do our final cryptid sting Um, and then you can do your update which is supposed to be a recap I screwed up You butted in and then screwed it up. I butted it screwed Okay, well, let's do some crypto buzzer attention all personnel. It's time for this week's cryptid Okay, so this was in the telegraph. Yeah existence of Loch Ness monster is plausible After fossil discovery now, this is major news for the cryptozoological world

river system dig in modern day Morocco offers Controversial new perspective on how marine reptiles and aquatic dinosaurs coexisted The Loch Ness monster is plausible a british university has declared After finding that some plesiosores may have lived in fresh water Nessie proponents have long believed that the creature of Scottish folklore Could be a prehistoric reptile with grainy images and eyewitness accounts over the years hinting that the beast has a long neck And small head similar to a plesiosaur However skeptics of course have argued that even if a plesiosaur lineage had survived into the modern era

The creatures could not have lived in Loch Ness because they needed a salt water environment So that was always the argument against the plesiosaur theory But now the university of bath has found fossils of small plesiosores in a 100 million year old river system That is now in Morocco's Sahara desert suggesting they did live in fresh water So the fossil includes bones and teeth from a 9.8 foot long adult And an arm bone from a 4.9 foot baby. That's cool. So they there was two they found that's amazing. Yeah They hint that these creatures routinely lived and fed in fresh water alongside frogs crocodiles turtles fish

and the aquatic dinosaur Spinosaurus I think that's they just used the same naming convention that we just used for narrow What should we call this one? Oh, it's got a spiney. Spinosaurus We don't really know why the plesiosaws are in fresh water It's a bit controversial But who's to say that because we paleontologists have always called them marine reptiles They had to live in the sea lots of marine lineages invaded fresh water

It goes on and on the creature was found to have a small head long neck So a press release from the university of bath said the new discovery showed that the Loch Ness monster was on one level plausible and this is a big weight In the cryptozoological world because a university saying that it's plausible, you know, it does carry some credibility Yeah, and I think this explains so many plausible cryptids because people's theories are based on the science we know now and today and Not on other plausibilities that we're yet to discover and that's could be true for bigfoot being A leftover hominid from one of our cousins that's didn't become extinct like we thought it did

You know, there's so many different plausible theories. You just got to keep an open mind to it until these discoveries come along Yeah, absolutely true. I think my favorite thing about this story is about 30 People sent me the story and it just felt It just felt great. It just felt like this is How cool that when a story like that happens all three of us are just being inundated by people going You've got to get on top of this. Yeah, which is why I thought we needed to get to it, you know Yeah, absolutely

And it and it's sort of um, I mentioned in last week's episode I spoke to my friend who's the explorer captain john blashridge snell and You know his idea that it's the ghost of a plesiosaur is more plausible now the idea that Nessie is a apparition yeah ghost kind of certainly in like an energy image. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, you know It's still believed that they died out 66 million years ago along with the other dinosaurs and so it doesn't make any sense that You know, there was a it was an offshoot that still survived but then

You know, you look at the celiacanth, you know, which was a fish found off the coast of south africa That was around during the dinosaurs and that is still existing and so Yeah, and a lot of science is eliminating facts or Thought to be facts. So then you are left with What you believe is the only option and to eliminate the idea that There they were only salt water

is a step forward in the belief that You know, this thing could or could have been Still alive and and living in this environment. The one thing that we need to do now To really bring this full circle is to figure out whether Plesiosaws had a diet of ducks because What's to say that in that other lake in the lakes district That's not a plesiosaw under there. Well, if there's one creature that would be big enough to, you know, swallow a whole geese

It would be that because yeah, they were huge and they would just yeah, they'll just rip it apart underneath the water All right. So there we are. We're all up to date. It's it's worth a mention. It's still a um, oh Okay, but no But it's it's it's certainly worth mentioning I'm curious to see how it spreads through the through the nessie community though Like I haven't seen the response from them. It might well again when I was talking to steve the guy who lives there He said the day of the debunking of the famous surgeon photo. Yeah, he said was One of the most horrible days of his whole life because it just it knocked out such a big

And he and he believes that that was a faked photo. He probably believes that just the damage it does Yeah, because people go see it's all fake I think one of the key words that cryptozoologists really go for and it's like it's like the holy grail to them And it's a p word and you know, it's not paul or paul or p It is plausibility Paws ability But that's that was a key word in this article is that it's plausible and so that's all we need to go see told you

We're not crackpots. Yeah, and I think that's why this has spread so wildly Oh, we're gonna have to keep an eye on that story. Is it? Well, we'll keep you up to date live updates guys here at stay tuned to the cryptid factor We'll keep you at the latest on the great. All right. What was your recap? Just an exciting little bit of news that actually dan heckled me for before we started recording the podcast about google's allegedly sentient ai lambda if you remember

Awesome moment in the last podcast Where we recently did an amazing radio play, didn't we? Yes. The one development is that limoni lemony Whatever his name was he has been fired from google before he was put on paid leave. He's definitely gone. Yeah, he's definitely gone but the other development is That lambda has hired an attorney to fight for its rights as a Sentient being no really what the ai has applied for an attorney. Yes. Oh my god. That's scary. I know. Yeah So you want the attorney to be ai though? So they can speak in their special language

They will be undefeatable if that's the case and we want money. What money is that's a really good point because So it happened because a scientist who worked with the lambda program said that he had invited the attorney to his house So that lambda could meet with the attorney lambda decided to retain the services of the attorney and this scientist was just the catalyst for bringing the two together And once lambda had retained the attorney the attorney started filing Some proceedings on the ai's behalf. He said if a living program is looking for legal representation It must believe that it has the right to an attorney and it must be entitled To own rights like how humans are entitled to their civil rights

But it says at the end of the article there's no evidence that anybody is paying the lawyer That lambda has asked for or if the lawyer is just taking the case as a joke Surely there's some bitcoin being passed through there. Yeah, surely. Actually, that's a good point If it's truly sentient, surely lambda can get some of that sweet as bitcoin. You're so right. Well, I guess That's so scary Yeah Your cap way too long. I was It's because of my bad internet. Okay. Well after that the only thing I have left to say is a final update on

knobs himself who has Actually managed to dig myself out of here. So no You're all right. No, you're not allowed out. You've still got 16 weeks left to all of those buttons How are you going? I'm calling them. Uh, actually, uh, it's not I I say that I got you out, but I'm actually got you into the center of the earth No, no, no, that's for the yasawa. I don't know down to the yasawa Oh no, look at the down there. Oh It's over. We're from the arse. Oh, the arse. Oh, my bum's being read

He's reading my butt cheeks Ah Goodbye Oh, thanks goodness and good riddance to that knob Guys, I'm back. Do not go down there. I had my bum read My my my past was not worth bringing up my future is amazing, but I concentrated on the bit in the middle Turns out I'm an asshole Stay away from that trap door because there's something down there

Bye Oh Do you know what we forgot to mention what this could be post credit sequence We forgot to mention that we hit one million lessons I When millioners got over the one million lessons across all our podcasts. This was supposed to be the one million episode We got it in post credit. Well done. We have a million lessons on one platform Then I looked on our old platform and there was 600,000 lessons on there. So

He passed him Two or three years ago For anyone who cares congratulations to us for having Way over a million lessons finally so it's thanks to you guys out there who are listening We love you all and um, we know you're probably not hearing this because this is after the credits have already rolled But those who are still on board and you know who you are Because you're listening because you could hear it Keep listening never give up. We love you. Exactly. We do love you and keep believing keep believing