The Cryptid Factor - 80: #080 The Irreversible Issue

Episode Date: December 9, 2022

Well here we go again! This epically long 80th episode sees the Intro become an outro, Buttons Theory Time become a right royal tea-bagging, there’s a creepy UFV and a USV, Deadpool is busy killing fish, there’s a reincarnated octopus as a football fortune-telling ferret, there’s a hunt for a big bird, Jeremy the Sasquatch ghost clown has been spotted, Vocalisations makes a comeback… then there’s the christian rock-band and Bigfoot 911 call remix! Oh, and apparently Dan has a book out called ‘The Theory of Everything Else’ that he’s like you to subtly know about… Enjoy! Music credit - Glorybox - Sonic Ocean

The Cryptid Factor with Rhys Darby and Dan Shriver Well! Paint me turquoise and dip me in the ocean till I disappear from view. Not only am I here, but so are you! We're back! That was the Cryptid Factor's version of roses are red, violets are blue! Turquoise, I wasn't expecting turquoise given... Turquoise! Listener Rhys wrote that just as the theme tune was playing. As it was playing. I literally had however long that was and I was halfway through it and that's why I was thinking, Wow, now where can this go? And then the theme tune ran out!

But also I had that there and I'm just putting it up to the screen. That's good! And I said, I disappear from view and then I put two legends, which I was going to bring you guys into it. But then I just ran out of time, unfortunately. So I just wanted to show that you were going to be part of it. Hang on, if there's two legends, what's the third one of us? Well, I'm the guy that got dipped in the ocean. So it was another one of those ones where the two dweebs come across the old tree. Yeah.

Remember that one? That's where we left off. I think that was our last adventure. But then the time ran out and then I realised I'm just going to have to rhyme something with view. Should we just sit here just quietly amongst ourselves where you keep writing about the two legends? Because I'm quite keen to see what I do. Look, if we get another break or if you, once you start talking a little bit later on in the show buttons, I'll probably start writing. I'll underline the two legends and see what comes from that.

Yeah, thank you. That'd be great. Wow, man, it has been quite a while. There's been quite a lot happening. Once again, as soon as we try and get more regular, all of a sudden somehow months go by. But there is, to be fair to everybody, there's been a lot going on. Dan, you've had a baby and a book. You gave birth to both babies and books. Yeah, I'm a dad for a third time. He's three weeks old as of this Saturday. He's called Kit. Yeah, I'm knackered. That is so cool.

And so what's it like third time round? Because second time round, you know, kind of what you're doing. And then third time round, are you now just sort of just ignoring it? There is a bit where you're just like, ah, I can't be bothered doing that whole thing again. You do get lazier as you're... So the poor kid is literally going, can someone change my nappy guys, please? Yeah, I think you do get lazier. It's still as tiring, knackered all the time.

Even more tiring, I'd imagine, as you get older. But also you're still navigating having kids, because I've never had a five-year-old before, but that's what Wilf is now. So I'm still learning what a five-year-old is. Ted is fine, because he's two and a half. I've done that. But you've got this book end of ages where you're... Yeah, you do. So yeah, but it's very exciting. It's very cool to have him in the world. And also a book as well. Don't skip past that.

I mean, babies are important, but so also are books. And of course, I've got the book with me here today, folks. Just so everyone knows, I have a copy, my own copy, of the theory of everything else. Thanks, man. I'm so excited that you got a copy. Oh, it's brilliant. I had to search for it. I don't have a copy. Look, I purchased this. Like, it wasn't sent to me. Oh!

I looked in various book shops. I couldn't find it. So then I went to the one of Matacana. It's a great bookstore, and they always have a great selection of interesting, unique, and bizarre kind of books. And so, boom, there it was. It was in the table of new reads. That's very cool. Cryptid Factor gets a mention on the back there in my credits. And both you guys get mentions in the acknowledgements. A little shout out to you both.

Well, I got a little bit of a sneak preview, because as it happened in between the last podcast and this one, whilst Dan was racing to the finish line to finish his book, I managed to pop over to the UK, and the two of us made a little excursion up to none other than Loch Ness. Yeah. It was, like, quite a moment. But the best part of the trip was Dan working on his book.

And whilst we were driving along, I had him reading me chapters, and I was thinking, I'd have the author doing the audio book. That's what I'd drive. And I'm like, this is the only way I want to listen to my audio books from here on in, where I can ask the author. Oh, can you just stop there, mate? I've just got to check the navigation. It was a bit of an annoying audio book,

because the listener kept correcting things as I was reading it. I wouldn't do that. I've changed that bit. Oh, yeah, yeah. That's also the best way of listening to a book is by being able to comment and disagree. Yeah, exactly. It's actually a service I want to now offer authors around the world,

like, you know, if they're about to publish a book, then I'll just come and take them for a drive to a cryptid hotspot, whilst they read the book to me, and I can just give them some pointers and tips. Yeah. And then the best part about that, also, with the button's book read, is that if you do get bored of the book when the guy's doing it to you, you can actually go, you know, when you're driving along.

Actually, that's enough, mate. Thank you. Thank you. Let's turn the radio on, eh? Cheers to a cryptid factor episode. This is how you should do it. I mean, what you've done is good, but let's just get some inspiration for you here.

The Stephen King is sitting next to you going, hey, what are you talking about? What do you mean that's enough? There's a haunted house, and there's a weird blob coming through the ceiling. Yeah, that's unbelievable. Do you know that Stephen King fact about when, back in the 80s, he used to consume all of his books while driving,

so audio book was his thing, but obviously they were on cassette back in the day, right? Yeah. And not every book was available in his local area on cassette. So if he found a book that he really badly wanted to read, but couldn't get it on audio cassette, what he'd do is would take one of his three kids, put them in a room with an audio recorder,

and make them read out the entire book, and then he would listen to them having done the audio book for him. Amazing. For some reason I just imagined him locking them in a dark room with just a candle and a cassette recorder and go, you're not coming out until you've finished the book. Yeah. He's apparently afraid of the dark.

Apparently he needs a sidelight on when he's sleeping. Come on. Really? Apparently. Apparently. He said that in an interview once, and I haven't seen it again since. Oh, so that's not actually in here? It's not one of your ones? It's not in the book?

No, that's not one of mine. No, no, no. I mean, it's what about? That's for the sequel. Is that a fact or a dan fact? It's a dan fact, I think. Something really cool though about doing the book is that, and I say this in the book,

is that it sort of makes me a bit of a magnet now for people noticing the weird things happening in their life that they might have brushed over or forgotten about. So I have this thing where I talk about the idea of a soft rock, which is an impossible thing that happened in your life, which definitely happened, and you swear on your life it happened. But according to what you believe, it's impossible. Like, you may not believe in ghosts,

but you might have had a ghost encounter, and you're like, I definitely saw a ghost, yet I don't believe in them. The guy who did my audio book, he said he was in the pub saying to his friends, hey, there's this idea of a soft rock that Dan's come up with. And they were like, oh, we've got a soft rock. And he was like, yeah, what is it?

And they said, we were driving down a country road in England one night, and we both swear to God, we're in the car, we saw this, a potato on legs ran across the road in front of us. And he went, oh my God. And he said, we swear to God, it happened. Two of us saw it independently as we were going along. A potato ran across the road. That's a plot for Toy Story, isn't it?

Yeah, exactly. It's a total Toy Story scenario. Yeah. And then this new guy who I'm working with, who's just been reading the book, he said this was just as Halloween was going. We were talking about seances when we first met. And he decided on Halloween to have a seance.

He doesn't believe in any of this stuff. So it was going to be fun. They made the seance at home using like a board and burnt ash that they'd done. And he said that he was doing it and he got really into it. And it was approaching 12 o'clock. And he found himself as he was spelling out words from, he thought he had called his grandfather back from the grave, who was sending a message.

And as he was typing out the message, he was rocking back and forth. And then he said out of nowhere, his nose just bled. Just went, pfft. He never gets nose wings, he says. Yeah. And the party ended. Everyone freaked out.

He said that just, that was the moment everyone was like, okay, let's put this away. Time to go home. It's great. They punched him in the nose. It's like, that's old Serbia. Yeah. That's my rocking chair, you prick.

Get off it. I've told you not to whip back that far. Saiyans is one of those things where I think it's like, it is almost a step too far. That and the Ouija board is the other one where I feel like it's all fun and games until someone loses a life. Yeah. Exactly.

This is kind of like, it's just a little bit too close to what I like to call the overfreak zone, where you've gone too far and now you're actually literally scared that, you know, shit could happen. Yeah. That's such a good point. We're fishermen. Yeah.

We stand on the edge of the freak zone and we dip our rods in and we pull out some stories. Yeah, yeah. We don't go swimming in there. No, don't. Don't fall in. No, I think I accidentally fell in. I went for a freak.

Yeah, your batons has fallen in a couple of times. Yeah. I'm like, Obelix. I don't need any Saiyans or any Ouija board. No, you're like water skiing on it. You're not fully immersed, but you're like, oh, he's getting close. It was Ouija board.

That's what he did. Not the Saiyans. He did a Ouija. That's what I thought it might be. Yeah. See, I thought the same as you, Rhys, that I'd never do a Ouija board or a Saiyans because you're messing with stuff you shouldn't mess with.

Yeah. Because you wouldn't want a haunting your whole life. But of late, I'm like, well, actually, now that I'm longer in the tooth, it's like, actually, now's probably the time to start. It'd be fun to experience it. See, I see what you're saying, but I'm going to disagree with the age thing now.

I don't think we're quite pretty yet. We've still got a lot of life to live. We don't want to start getting haunted by some terrible poltergeist at the age of, you know, mid-40s. Well, true, true. I was thinking, though, that if you were unlucky enough to have, you know, a horrible condition nor disease or something like that,

and you knew you only had so many months left, if that happened to me, it would be tragic. But I think I'd just go hard out. I'd want to find a doctor that would flatline me. I'd want to do all the Ouija boards and seances and tarot cards. What's the flatlining? Oh, that's where they, you die and they can bring you back.

Oh. You know, so your heartbeat goes... And then they can just like... So there's a moment there. It can be up to like two minutes or something where you can experience. You go through the tunnel and you see the light and you can, you know, there's the guy at the pearly gate.

So you're coming and, oh, you're moat. I said, I'm not sure. I'm actually doing a flatlining experiment. So I just want to have a look through the bars at this stage, but we'll come on through. The door's open. No, I'm not. Can I just check?

Because I think my guy's going to bring me back in a minute. How far can I go in? And then also, once you're through, you're through. All right, well, can I just have a quick look? Oh, there's Grandad. Oh, fucking hell. What the hell? Elvis! Elvis!

Oh, no. I've got to go. I've got to go. See you in a few months. Yeah. See you in a couple of weeks. And you come back. How was it?

Yeah, this is what I expected. So I'm not actually that looking forward to it now. Elvis, Grandad, the usual. I've never been a big Elvis fan. Yeah, no aliens, no hidden pyramids or underground tunnel systems. Not that I saw. No, but I mean, the guy at the gate

was just some guy from East End London. What, mate? You coming in, mate? Get in there, mate. Actually, my daughter Helena sent me an article. Just see if I can find it. Actually, they're starting to do some serious research about the whole flat landing.

Right. Finally, some serious research. In the past, I've been joking around with it. Guys, let's have a minute. Look, I think we should seriously look at this. Okay. We've had a good laugh for the last 20 years. That sketch that we stood earlier was brilliant.

But look, that's the end of it. I think from now on, we... Yeah, I know that there's good light to be made of it. But honestly, let's just put our serious faces on and work out what's going to happen when we get to those pearly gates. It's true, though, isn't it? Because it's kind of like...

We don't take this stuff seriously, but at some point, we've got to. Well, we do, but we can't, because it's the ultimate unknown. But when it comes to seriousness, it's rather than that phrase, it's the more modern science abilities that we have now. We've got the thought processes and the technology

to maybe actually try and solve it. Way more than we did in the 1700s or whatever. Yeah, well, in here, I've just found this article. It's actually from NeuroscienceNews.com. And this is NYU Langone University. They say one in five people who receive CPR report lucid experiences of death while they are seemingly unconscious

and on the brink of death. The lucid experiences appear to be different from hallucinations, dreams, illusions, and delusions. Researchers found during these experiences the brain has heightened activity and markers for lucidity, suggesting the human sense of self may not completely stop around the time of death. Yeah.

So it's taking it serious. I promise I won't do this of going, I have a thing in my book a lot. Five. Every cryptid factor now from here on in is going to be right here. This is slowly the audiobook. The theory of everything else.

Available now in all good bookstores. And even the crappy little ones. Rhys, go to the Nostradamus chapter. It's got the finest length footnote, I think, of any book ever. Which is the story that I want to tell you guys right now. Wow, this is the footnote to end all footnotes. Unbelievable.

I mean, that whole page is a footnote. You're going for another Guinness Book World Record. Yeah. Biggest footnote. What this is is that it's Gary Busey, the actor Gary Busey. He flatlined in 1988 after he had been motor biking. He flipped over and cracked his head,

brought him into hospital. He's flatlined at the hospital while they're doing emergency surgery to save him. And they managed to do it. He comes back. When he wakes up, he says that he remembers a moment, and he says when he flatlined that he went to heaven and he met the angels.

It was the size of a thin tube. That was his core skeleton that went up to heaven. He saw balls of light, and he was given the choice of staying in heaven or coming back down. And they said, you've got more work, Gary Busey, to do to reach your destiny on planet Earth. You must go back down. So Gary Busey came back down.

So the story that's in the book is that years later, he's making a movie called Quigley, which is about a man who dies and comes back to Earth, reincarnated as a talking dog. And so there's a scene where Gary Busey makes it to heaven. So he gets to set to film the scene. And when he gets there, he's furious because it looks nothing like heaven, and he's seen heaven.

So he says, what the hell's going on? The heaven looks nothing like this. They don't have couches like that in heaven. There's no mirrors on the wall in heaven. So the set design is freaking out because he hasn't been to heaven. And so he's like, well, I don't know. I was just running out of ideas. The director's going, calm down.

We'll try and fix some things. And then another guy on set, who's one of the angels, who's in the background, suddenly said, he's an actor, one of the angels says, I also died and went to heaven. I've seen heaven too. And so Gary's like, see, you know, it's not like this. And he goes, yeah, yeah.

But the problem is, is that this guy has a very different idea of what heaven looks like to Gary Busey. Oh, he's got a different heaven. And they end up disagreeing so badly that they get in a massive argument and eventually a fistfight over what heaven actually looks like. And production is shut down for the day. And they have to stop filming.

Yeah. That's amazing. And also just goes to show that, you know, your heaven isn't necessarily my heaven. And yes, you'll probably go to our own version of what we think it is. I just hope that my heaven's the same as your guy's heaven. So we all end up together.

I don't want you and a heaven down the road. Buttons going, oh, we're slightly different. This is, well, I have a theory on this, but I'm too scared to go there because that will mean that we have to do a button time. Yeah. Can we do a theory without the theory time? No, we have to do a red tune.

Oh, God. Here it is. Down in the garden beside the little pond sits a little dainty boy with a special bond. He likes to watch the pixies travelling through the trees. The sprinkle or the magic dust. He says, yes, please. It's button's theory time.

Button's theory time. Button's theory time. Come join in. Button's theory time. Button's theory time. Everybody hold your hands and have a big grin. It's a real divide of that sting. It's like, I don't know whether or not I love it or hate it.

It's the most loved thing about this show. What are you talking about? It's just got a touch of evil to it. That's what freaks people out, and I think it's what people also like about it. Anyway, the theory is really quite simple that all of us really only have the capacity to have a certain amount of very close friends, right?

Although you can be loved by millions of people like Rhys. Please, please, guys. Actually, let me just check the book. At the moment, it's six billion. Six billion, right. Isn't the population of the Earth? That's two billion short of the actual Earth population. You've still got some work to do.

But after the second series of flag-means-death, I mean, surely it's going to... You'll clock it. I'm hoping. But since we only have the capacity to actually get really close enough to a certain amount of people, if you think about it almost like a squad of gamers playing an online game together, and there's only so many characters

within that game that can also be there. So, the theory is really that if there are past lives and if we are being reincarnated all the time... Sorry, do you say re-incarnated? No, reincarnated. Oh, re-incarnated. That's what you get, so you're reincarnated,

and they go, it's not working for your body. We're going to re-incarnate you there. You're doing the same as what you did last life, mate. You're out. You're out. You're gone. And basically, we're all the same people that are coming back. Yeah, the same group. But the great thing about that is,

is that potentially, you know, when they say, you know, you go up and... You go up and you're small, too. Yeah, basically, whoever dies first, they just have to hang around longer in the gamer's lounge, waiting for all the other, and they can still keep watching people playing and going,

oh, you idiot, you don't even know, bro. You know, like, they can fly around in the game and then somebody comes and crutches down on them and teabags them and, what game is that? What's the teabagging bit? What's the teabagging bit? What game is that? I know.

You know, we can play those six games. Oh, you know, they shoot them up games, like the... What do you know about the games? Call of Duty, where they kill you, and then they walk over, drop their pants and put their balls on your face. Right, yeah, yeah.

Like that. Yeah, that's effectively what I reckon you can do in the afterlife. I don't think that's a thing, buddy. I don't think that's in the game. No, I think it could be. And then you reset, and then you're all reborn back into the thing.

And then whoever was your husband in this life might be your baby in the next, but whoever dies first just has to sit up there and wait and kind of patiently kind of go, okay, come on, come on, come on, come on. Then everybody comes back up and they all have a good yarn about, oh, so funny you did that.

Right, this time I'm going to be the baby. No, I'm going to be the baby. Oh, nice. I want to be the rich celebrity in his own mess of mention with his own TV shows. And no, you were that last time, Rhys, stop it. Can I ask a question about the logic of this? No.

This is where you fold apart. I think I'm going to quibble it. Oh, you've been quibbled, mate. I'm sorry. There he comes. Yeah, I know. If you're born as the baby, you've still got to live your life, right?

And your life then turns into your own different group of friends and then maybe a partner that you marry and then having kids in your own, like you extend beyond that first group of friends. So what happens to everyone else that's in that further generation? Are they not part of the simulation?

Well, good quibble. Very good quibble. No, see, this is the thing. Like if you sort of start and stop at different timelines, say if there were multiple games going on on the game server and you get killed and you go, ah, I'm not going to wait around for you guys. I'm just going to go jump into another game.

Yeah, you're going to respawn into another game. You start playing that game, respawn. And then as other people kind of get kind of like, yeah, I'm not waiting as well. I'm going to go jump in with that one as well, where Dan is, because it looks like he's having a good time. And then at some point you all sort of jump back.

Oh, yeah, OK, OK, everybody's dead now. Yep, you know, and just jump backwards and forwards out of different ones. OK. So what I do like about that is, you know, you're kind of using simulation theory, I guess is a base for this imagining. And I think the fact that we do create games and technologies

that are based on reality and that we can spawn into things and the way that video games have turned into this massive thing that is so believable. It's like we look at our own life and go, oh my God, is our own life a video game? And that's kind of where we're at right now, you know, with the simulation theory, that it does, it certainly checks out to that degree

that if we do check out, that we can sort of like stay in this purgatory area and then get decisions as to whether to, you know, stick with the same group of people and try again, or if you had a shit life, go, you know what, I'm going to try and roll a dice and go somewhere else if that's cool with you. That's cool.

But so I like that idea. Did we talk about this? I had this theory shot down previously where it was like, I was going to say it's like, you feel like you know people, like when you meet people for the first time. Yeah, it was our last episode. It was so long ago. It was like, have I seen this one before?

We were talking about the idea that what if you bring your enemies and your friends into the next life with you, kind of like Blackadder, so it's sort of like a regenerated... Season two, season three, it's the same. It's the same actors. They're just different characters. That's the best way to explain that theory. Yeah.

Weirdly, the best way to explain it as well is, it's like our podcast where we just talk about the same theory the next episode. We haven't spoken about it. We just polish it up and put a different title on it, but it's the same old shit. All right, let's move into everyone's favorite category. Category?

I don't normally call it that, but... No. Section. You know, we are doing the same shit, but just calling things slightly differently this week. The slightly differently episode. Same, but slightly different. So it's time for everyone's favorite category.

The Worldly Weekly News. Weirdly. The Worldly Weekly. Weekly World Weird News. Crazy, freaky. Watch out. Okay, well, there's only been six months or whatever it is of news. What have you guys got?

There's a whole bunch of bizarre stuff out there. Not as much as there normally is, I've noticed, but I want to kick things off with my headline, and this is just relevant for anyone who's watching sports right now or about to... God knows when this one's going to come out, so the whole competition could be over, but Psychic Ferret predicts how England will do

in the first World Cup match. Oh, here we go. I love these when these come out, but I always choose a weird animal to predict the scores of World Cup, and I think I remember this happening four years ago. It might have been an octopus last time. This time we've got a ferret.

It was an octopus, and I think after it made some majorly correct predictions, I think they then, at the end, went, well, that was good, and then ate it. It didn't have any kind of, like, further study. It's like, well, we're done. Let's cook it. That's why I don't eat calamari anymore, or octopus. The intelligence thing.

Yeah. I thought it was because you don't want to accidentally end up being able to fortune tell. Oh, my God, I can predict things. I accidentally had some calamari last night, guys. Maybe that's the reason why I should start eating calamari. Try and get these magical powers. Like, certainly rather that than ferret, anyway.

So, okay. I got a headline here from The Indie, which is a British newspaper. Death Pool, discovered at the bottom of the sea, which kills everything instantly. Oh, my God, that is ominous. Did you say cesspool? Death pool.

Death pool. Death pool. Wow. When you first said it, I did think of Ryan Reynolds. Seven died. That's why I don't. Surely. Death pool, discovered at the bottom of the earth. Death pool. Death pool sounds better, though.

It does. Oh, okay. Well, that sounds exciting. My news is to do with Queen Elizabeth's funeral, which was only a little while ago. I think it's still within the realms of relevancy. We're still mourning. Of course.

Yeah. The headline is viewers spooked after creepy moment caught during live coverage of Queen Elizabeth's funeral. Oh, yes. I know this one. Cool. I don't know this. It's pretty terrifying.

It's kind of funny. It's funny, but it's terrifying at the same time. Well, let's kick off with the fun one with this ferret. Okay. So this comes from themetro.co.uk. It's a really cute picture of the ferret here. Look at him. That's so cute.

Yeah. His name's Kenny. Kenny the ferret. And he's from Hartlepool. Hartlepool. I've never heard of that place. So how do you pronounce it? Yeah.

Is there anything like the death pool? No. How did they know that this ferret is psychic? And why choose this ferret? Well, these are great questions that won't necessarily be answered. But let me tell you about this mystic animal. Okay. He has predicted that England will not get off to a good start.

Oh. Well, then why did they choose this ferret? Why don't they find a different ferret that got a better prediction? So let's just deep dive into this article and stop questioning. So they won't get off to a good start according to this ferret. England with their first game, which is against Iran on Monday. I like this because we can figure out what actually has happened. See if it's come true next time we chat.

So he indicated his pick by choosing between three food bowls labelled win, lose or draw. Although at first he contemplated the win bowl. So he must have looked at these three bowls and started to head towards win. He eventually changed his mind and plumped for lose. Oh. That must have been a VAR overturn as he was heading to the win. Can you see the picture there? Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, he's howling into the lose. Very scientifically done, isn't it? There's three bowls listeners, one with a win written on a sign in front of it. Another bowl in the middle says lose and then there's one. And they've done it in such a way that I would have thought that draw might have been in the middle. Yeah. That would have made more sense. But they've put win on the left, lose second on the right and then draw over onto the far right.

And he's gone for lose. Well, it doesn't necessarily look like an entirely controlled scientific experiment. He's doing it on a dirty old concrete floor with green corrugated iron in the background. That looks like it's some kind of detention center. You can't even really see what food's in there. You know, the other two bowls might be filled with broccoli and the middle one may be filled with yummy, yummy peanut butter. No, no, that's not how you do it. It's done very professionally.

The same food in every bowl. Well, who knows? It could be one of the other teams are putting it out there. It's the internet, right? You could say it's from England fans, but it might actually be from German fans and they're kind of going, let's get into them psychologically. They're going to lose. And that would make sense because German sentences are structured different to ours. So you can see by the draw being at the end that that's a German sentence instead of putting it in the middle.

I think this could have a very good point to it. I don't think there can be science about it, though. This is a psychic theory. Exactly. And the event hasn't happened yet. Not yet. We can't put science against it. But one day science will answer all of these things like near death experiences.

But if it's a psychic ferret knowing the gig, I think even if there was like broccoli in one bowl and sweeties in the other, if the one that said lose had the broccoli and it's like, I don't like broccoli. I don't think it would just ruin its credentials. Just have a bit of chocolate in the other bowl. That's a good point. It'd be like, suck it up for this one meal. That's a good point. I've got to show them what's going to happen. Broccoli.

So farmhand Maddie Cooper thinks Kenny is the ferret for the job saying he's definitely going to be right. He knows what he's doing. He's just a very friendly ferret. He'll give everyone he finds a kiss. Isn't that cute? That's so lovely. What has that got to do with being psychic? Well, there was a line earlier which sort of addressed his credentials.

Here it is. Although staff have not provided specific credentials for Kenny's powers of foresight, they insist he knows what he's doing. So he knows what he's doing. When it comes to going towards a bowl that's got food in it, he knows what he's doing. Thank you. The other thing that I found interesting is like another resident of the farm. I'd see the land previously successfully called a win for Hartlepool United and their playoff final.

So where is that land? Where is OT the land? Why is it OT the land? This is a psychic animals farm. There's a small mammal for every decision. And then just a little bit here, it talks about the incredible record of Paul the octopus who became a breakout star in the 2010 World Cup in South Africa after correctly predicting the winner of Germany's seven matches.

Wow, all seven matches, it got correct. Yeah, that's pretty cool. Where's Paul now? Maybe Paul was the one that got eaten that I was talking about. I'm not sure. I'll quickly Google it, will we? And what about OT the land? What's the bet?

They just get sold off to evil dictators or used in military warfare situations. The Octopi? Any of them. All of them. Oh, right. Kenny's giving kisses now, but very shortly he's going to be recruited by the FBI and be used as an agent. Yeah. As long as he's put in a room where there's food bowls and there's three decisions to make.

Okay, Kenny, you're in there. Do you either steal the information? That's the bowl on the left. Do you ignore the information? Or on the right, the last bowl, is do you seduce one of the other animals in there? But for no apparent reason. Why you go double-o ferret? Dammit, he's gone for the middle bowl.

Oh, goddammit. He's eating the evidence. Paul died of natural causes, so he wasn't easy. Oh, good to know. Thank God. He died of natural causes, salt and pepper. Both are the natural Himalayan song. That's what got him in the end.

But look at this, the 2010 FIFA World Cup Finals. So he had a record of 12 correct predictions out of 14, so his success rate was 85.7%. Wow. His career as an oracle, it says, began during the UEFA Euro 2008 tournament. So he already had one tournament under his belt before he got to the 2010s. And then someone tried to buy him, I guess, after the World Cup. They was a transfer fee of 30,000 Euro, and he was going to be the main attraction at a local festival. But he passed away in his tank.

He was aged two and a half, which is the normal lifespan of the species. The other thing is, is anybody talked about the fact that Kenny the ferret could be reincarnated Paul the octopus? Just come back. He's come back and he needs to predict the found him. It's like hunting the Dalai Lama. Every four years they go find the animal that can do the predictions for the World Cup. Somebody goes hunting. They found him.

It's a parrot. That's so funny. Oh, well, yeah, you're going to have to, Dan, we'll get some Patreon. How much do we say? Yeah. A hundred dollars. Someone's lost contact. Oh, has somebody lost contact?

Is it me? He's lost contact. You guys are frozen on me. What? Oh, he has. He's lost contact. Look at him. How did he predict that, though, before he just lost contact?

How did he know his internet was going to cut out? He's the next Kenny. He's the next Kenny. Does he like kisses? You literally just predicted your internet was going to drop out before it dropped out. Who? You. You went up, someone's lost contact, and we were like, who?

And then you cut out. Incredible. You ate Paul, didn't you? You had the calamari. You had Paul the calamari. This is the big clincher on my news article. I am Kenny the ferret. It is.

Look at us. You two look so similar. Look, I'll do the face of the ferret. Yes, it's exactly it. You are, and you love kisses, and you're incredibly cute. Yeah. And you like eating your food off a dirty concrete floor out of a bowl. It is you.

Let's not go too far. Let's just move on now to the next article. I predict it's going to be yours buttons. Right. Well, again, the headline viewers spooked after a creepy moment caught during live coverage. Of Queen Elizabeth's funeral. So obviously, for those that don't know yet, Queen Elizabeth died a couple of months ago. What?

Yeah. I'm sorry. What? Do you think any listener has gone, what? Oh, what? Well, there are people out there probably that only listen to the cryptid factor and no other news sources. Weekly World Weird News.

That's true. Do you remember I told you that when Prince Phillip died, I walked to Buckingham Palace to see all the floral tributes. That's right. And I stood at the gate and it was really nice because I remember when Diana died watching that on TV as a kid and I thought, imagine being at Buckingham Palace. So I got to do that with Phillip. And I was standing there and a guy walked up next to me and he looked down at the floral

stuff and he just turned to me and went, sorry, has something happened to Prince Phillip? No. Yeah. Oh, my God. You're telling me that. That's amazing. Incredible. So it does happen.

But you did a live broadcast there for us and I love that you did a live cryptid factor from Buckingham Palace for Prince Phillip, but not for the Queen. No way. No, no. She's not worth it. He was very busy sorting his book out and his young babies. Right, right, right. Yeah.

Anyway, she died and has reincarnated as my son Kit, which is very exciting. The exact time. Yeah. That would be amazing. Kit started waving in the back of his hand. Yes. There'll be some telltale signs. Keep an eye for them.

Anyway, UK broadcaster ITV was doing the broadcast live to viewers all around the world, but as they were following the Queen's hearse on its way to West London, a ghostly unidentified female voice interrupted the broadcast. You better put your spooky music on. Yeah, I can't do some spooky music. So there wasn't a lot of talking throughout the broadcast. The announcers were just sort of coming in and just talking about the little highlights and explaining to people what was going on.

And there was a male commentator for ITV who was talking the certain part of the root of the coffin. And the male commentator talking ways, leaving a little gap and then a voice, a female unidentified voice comes into the middle of the broadcast. Not a UFV. A UFV. An unidentified female voice. Hello.

What's going on here then? You said that. Guys, I just heard a UFV. This is a UFV. This is one of the very first UFVs in the world. Here we go. Are you ready for it? Okay.

Yeah. The death is irreversible and the fact that she's trying. As you can see. Wow. That's it. I'm not going to play it once again, but what you'll notice as I play it again, as the voice talks, the male announcer is about to start saying something as well. So he is interrupted.

So he clearly stops his sentence because he hears this female voice coming in from nowhere. Now, accidents happen in broadcast all the time, right? And it might have been somebody accidentally pressing the wrong button on the intercom. It might be something many, many different ways to explain it, right? So let's just listen one more time. And obviously there's proof that it actually did happen during the broadcast because the announcer is interrupted. But more importantly, pay attention to what the UFV says.

Yeah, the choice of words. The death is irreversible and the fact that she's trying. As you can see. Well, as you can see here in London, it is a lovely day. And then you hear the announcer come back again after a good four or five seconds of him going, what the hell was that voice? Where did that voice come from? Yeah.

So the voice actually says the death is irreversible. The fact that she's trapped. Yeah. I mean, that beginning bit of that sentence is the fascinating bit, isn't it? Yes. The death is irreversible. It's like, I quite like that as a sort of general doctors thing, a doctor saying, I'm afraid they've died.

How badly? Well, it's irreversible. It's one of the irreversible deaths. Shit. Can we just confirm that this death is irreversible? Yes, this one, as I'm afraid. We've triple checked. Turns out he's gone through.

He talked to the West London guy at the gates. That actually turns out they've gone through the gates. Well, that's my point. We were just talking about flatlining and about coming back from death. And the synchronicity of the fact that your news article is about exactly the fact that death is irreversible when we know it isn't. It isn't. Or is it?

Or is it? And then the fact that she's trapped. Shrapped. So where's she trapped? Yeah. Wow. In the purgatory. Yeah, she's trapped in purgatory.

She's currently having somebody teabagging her, aren't they? You just bring that back into it. I don't think we can release this episode now in the UK. That's definitely some legal rules. The royal family will be on their doorstep. She loved a good cup of tea, didn't she? That's what I meant. But it's interesting, isn't it?

Because people have come on and kind of like having a whole bunch of different theories on what it is. People have said that it could be a banshee speaking into the broadcast. People are even saying that it is the ghost of late Princess Diana talking into the broadcast. And I love that one because she's like, oh, right, Queenie, cover up my death. What's a banshee? I can't remember what a banshee is. Banshee's kind of like a siren.

Ah, yeah, OK. Generally, a female, I thought there were always females. Here we go. I just googled it. Female spirit in Gaelic folklore whose appearance or whaling warns a family that one of them will soon die. Right. But it sounds like it's more like howls.

Yeah, howls. That should have just been the broadcast of just a... Let's have a listen one more time. One more time. And with the Lady Diana in mind and just listen to the voice. The death is irreversible and the fact that she's trying. As you can see. Yeah, that doesn't sound like Lady Diana to me, but I mean, not that I knew her that well,

but... It didn't sound like a banshee either, so... It does sound a little hushed, like, and just to let you know, then a death is irreversible and the fact that she's trying... Oh, sorry. Now you go, you go, you go. Which is interesting. I mean, the most obvious thing is that it's someone on the other line or someone...

Yeah. But the death is irreversible. It's like... That line is just so weird. The death is irreversible. I mean, it's obviously irreversible. Why would someone say that? It's like, when you're walking, you're going to end up going somewhere, you know?

And I think it's like stating the obvious. What are you going to go somewhere? That's another one of their famous quotes. If you're walking, you're going to end up going somewhere. I think you can find that one online. What was my book for you? Oh, you heard it here third. You heard it here third.

That's what it was. The Wisdom of Restory. I'll get that down in my book. If you're walking, you're going to go somewhere. Quick footnote to that, unless you're on a treadmill, of course. That's true. That's true. But also, the fact that she's trapped is a good one.

But I wonder whether she's actually either A, still alive in the coffin. Yeah. Hence being trapped. But more likely, you know, she definitely has gone and that she's trapped up at the Pooley Gate situation. Yeah. That's what I think it is. Like, somebody's just clicked the wrong button. Oh, whoops, we've gone into the living realm broadcast.

This was supposed to be just a PA announcement for the Pooley Gates. Whoopsie, first time on the job. So when your seed dies and then ascends to the heavenly realm, there's some commentators that are commentating the whole time. They go, we've got another death here. And of course, as you know, folks, it is a reversible. And it looks like this one's going to be trapped at the Gates because there's a decision to be made there.

Do they want to go in? Do they want to come back? Apparently, they're on a flatline scheme. So there is a possibility they could return. It's an experiment going on, although the person is 96 years old. So the chances of returning are slim here. Over to you, Mike. Yeah, thanks, Dave.

Looking at this option, I would probably go through the Gates. I mean, 96 years is a decent time of the earthly realm. Well, the funny thing is, though, when you think about it, if everybody in the living world is really sad to see her go, all of the souls of all the dead humans who love the Queen are excited about her turning up to the Pooley Gates. So whilst their ITV is doing a really solemn broadcast about it so sad, the Pooley Gates broadcast is like,

ah, here she comes, there she comes up. Big round of applause for Queenie. She's with us at last. Elvis is there on stage, ready to welcome her on. And Reese's granddad is also there with a bouquet of flowers. Good evening, Your Majesty. I fought in both world wars, as you probably know. Been waiting a while to see you.

Wouldn't that be true, though? Because there'd be so many people who'd died who'd be going, I can't wait to meet the Queen. I mean, I've got all of eternity. I'm surely going to have an appearance with her at some point if I've got all of eternity. Well, only those ones that are in the gaming lounge refusing to go back down and get teabagged.

Why are you still here? I'm waiting for the Queen, mate. How long's it been? 58 years, but I know it's going to happen at some point and I always wanted to meet her. What about your mates? I went back down and played another game. They've played six games since I've been up here.

I love living in the shaker. I've got to be honest with you. It's fun, different souls coming in every five minutes. Another big busload. There we go, another big busload. Hey, just to let you guys know, you are trapped here. We're trapped. Yeah, it's irreversible, mate.

Take your finger off the button, Mike. You're broadcasting to the living ones. Oh, shit, shit, shit. Is that gone live? On that bloody Cryptid Factor podcast, I guarantee. That was your voice, wasn't it, Judith? Yeah, sounds a bit like Diana. Yeah, great. That'll be a theory.

The Queen's then trapped at the gates going, I can't believe the Cryptid Factor didn't even do a live broadcast. Dan didn't even go to the police. I did it for my husband, didn't he? I didn't do it for me. I'm not coming through. This is bullshit. While you guys have been talking, I've been trying to find whether or not there's a solution to this

because this happened a while ago. Yeah, there's no answer. There's nothing. There's no answer. So it's still open-ended. That's what's even more mysterious than the whole thing because I would have thought, definitely, that it was just someone else on the other line or someone in the studio.

But if no one has come up and admitted that, then... Exactly. That's bizarre. It says it's understood that the sound was a guest of the broadcaster whose voice was picked up by a presenter's microphone, but the sentence doesn't make sense. And it's too close.

It's like it's right up in the microphone. It's not like it is sort of like distant. I find this so interesting just because of the choice of words. That's spooky. That is spooky. That's a proper spooky one for me. Nice. Nice. All right. Good work. Good work, buttons. So, Dan, that just leaves us with your one. Yeah, so this is a pretty astounding thing

that I'd never heard of before, which is the idea that you have dead pools at the bottom of the ocean that any animal enters into it will instantly... Wait, isn't it death pools? Sorry, yes, not dead pools. Ryan Reynolds is down there waiting.

Go on down. I screwed you up by saying the dead pool thing earlier. And now you're on it. So, this death pool has been discovered at the bottom of the Red Sea. It was found by the University of Miami researchers, and it measures 107,000 square feet. I think the number that I've been seeing here

is missing a zero after the comma for three zero. So, it's either 10,700 square feet or 107,000. That's huge. It's been discovered 1.1 miles beneath the surface. And the idea is that they're thought to have been formed from pockets of minerals which were deposited up to 23 million years ago. Wow. And the reason it's deadly

is because the area contains no oxygen. So, instead, it's filled with brine and the salt solution is so intense that it's deadly to the majority of things that enter it. So, the researcher, Sam Perkis, he says any animal that strays into the brine is immediately stunned and killed. He also says among the most extreme environments

that we know of on Earth. So, that's pretty amazing. So, anything that goes in there to hunt and try and eat brine instantly is killed. And what happens is, and this is really amazing, predators who will eat the kind of fish that go in there will position themselves on the periphery of the pool knowing that if you go in there, you're going to die.

But then it waits for things to go in, instantly be killed, and then it feeds on the dead ones that come sort of floating back out. In a weird way, almost like what we were talking about, of us standing on the edge of the lake of weirdness throwing our rods in and pulling stuff out. This is a real-life version of it. We get buttons to actually get on some sort of device

and get in there and probably survive. I do it! I bloody do it! We'll attach a rope to you and give you a decent aqua lung, you know, something from a high quality swimwear store in New Zealand. And then we'll just like, go, go! And if you start to feel a tingle in your feet, we'll pull you back.

But how will I tell you if there's a tingle in my feet? How will I communicate with you? Well, thumbs up or thumbs down once you're in there. Oh, thumbs up or thumbs down! Yeah, Mike! Oh, was thumbs up? He's getting a tingle or is thumbs up? No, he's all good. Keep going.

Oh, no, no, just keep going. I think he's fine. Give us a full thumbs down if you're dying, mate. And then we'll put you... Full thumbs down! Oh, shit, he's flat-lined. Oh, he did want to do that, though. That's pretty good.

He's at the gate. He's at the gate. We'll just leave him there for a while, because I think he'll be having conversation with the East End Londoner, whether he can come in or not. How long do you reckon his confidence... Well, you know, it's buttons. He does talk for hours. Just give him a couple of minutes.

He'll be waffling away. Okay, pull him back now. Well, I have to say, the thing that I love is just that we think we're so smart as humans. Like, gotten to the moon, and we've got things to Mars and stuff.

We still don't know 91% of the Deep Oceans contents. That's crazy. I still think we're pretty clever, though. I still feel like... Oh, we are. We totally are. No, we're not. Turns out we're not.

I mean, we can put out books like this. The Theory of Everything Else by Dan Shriver, available in most good bookstores, but not all. And some of the shit ones. But, like, how come we haven't figured that out yet? It's just so scary down there. The ocean, we just still don't know

what's down there, and the fact that there's these death pools down there that... I mean, there's a really high percentage of what the ocean actually covers of the Earth as well. Like, one third of the planet is different to the other two

thirds. Cool, I got away with that. Thank God. I'm, like, on a life line going like, this is my... Come down, come down, guys. Pull out, pull out, pull out. Now, let's just see where he goes with this. I think this could be interesting. No, come down, come down!

Pull out, pull out, pull out! Seventy-one percent is water covered of the Earth. There you go. Seventy-one. I like how they add a one, eh, just to make it look... Like, 70's too perfect. Let's just add a one, mate. Seventy-one, alright?

But it is 70, George. I don't care. People aren't going to believe that. Add the one. You know that that was the story with Mount Everest? Oh, really? The height of Mount Everest? You're telling the exact story. The guy who calculated it was this incredible mathematician spent ages working it out. Finally got the number and it was... I'm making up the number now,

but it was 28,000 feet and he thought, shit, it's exactly 28,000 feet. No one's going to believe me. So he added two feet to it just so that it made it believable. Oh, brilliant. Amazing. See, that's what we do as humans. So how many of these death pools are there?

Is there one... You're talking about one major one, or is there... There must be more. Yeah, it's not the first that they found. They have found others. And I mean, that's just... Imagine us having that on land where this is just fish swimming in their natural environment. If we just walked into a spot, you know,

if we're down the road in where I live in London, there was just an area of air that would just kill you as you walked into it. It's mad that that can just be the case. That's pretty terrifying. It's freaky. It'd be really bad if there was one at the bottom of a swimming pool or something like that.

Hey, don't... Look, the deep end. I'm just going to tell you it's a little bit... Just when your kids go for just that little corner down there, don't go down there. That's actually a death pool. But, yeah, just... I keep meaning to ask the guy to tidy it up when he comes and does the chemicals. Could you put a rope around it? Could you put some flags or something?

No, no, we don't want to get too close to what you see. So, it's just sort of word of mouth at this stage. It's the right-hand, rare section there. Oh, fuck it. Someone just fell in it. Why is Buttons in there with his thumb down? Is he all right over there? He's been in there for a while.

He's constantly doing an experiment there with his Crypton Factor team. He's got four-two thumbs down. What's happening? How many times has the guy died? Oh, it's okay. It's got the classic reversible death. He's all right. He's doing the reversible deaths.

He's done 91 of those. 91. I thought it was 90. No, more believable if it's 91. I still love that quote. I can't remember who said it, but it's an awesome quote. It's like, looking for creatures in the deep ocean

would be akin to trying to find all of the creatures in Africa if you could only do it at nighttime with a flashlight. Wow. Imagine that, China. You go now at cataloging all of the stuff in Africa going, okay, today I'm pretty sure

I saw a flash of what could be a lion. Yeah, okay, cool. Hey, just a quick question. Why don't we do this during the day when we don't need flashlights and we can see everything? No, not too easy. Do it at nighttime. It'll take us a lot longer. And we did get sponsorship with Ever Ready. So I think what we're really pushing

for here is to use the flashlight situation. It's in the contract. Okay, well, that's a hell of a weekly World Weird News, guys. That was awesome. Very nice. Very nice. Very cool. Very cool. Cute and freaky and

disastrous. Freaky and disastrous. That's the measure of a really good weekly World Weird News. Sounds like our three nicknames. Yeah. Well, I'm just glad I'm cute. Now. Okay, can I just quickly, before we go further,

there's a segment that I've been wanting to do for a long time. Most people won't even know this thing because even when we were a radio show when we first kicked off, this thing was only played, I think, a couple of times.

Wow, okay. Are you ready? Why is there so many pictures of me on your desktop? What? What's going on? What's going on? That's a bit freaky. Oh, whoops. Oh, whoops. No, quick.

Shut it down. Shut it down. How do I shut it down? Stop it. Oh, no. I do have a lot of pictures. I love you. What's this one say, my favourite boy? Wait, what? Times I'll Never Forget.

Screenshot one. It's funny, isn't it? No, it's from the book club and I took screenshots of all the books you held out. So I could get them. And I look at them every now and then when I feel a little bit sad.

That was like five months ago that we did that. I haven't cleaned up my desktop because I just don't want to lose that magic time that we had together. Okay, here's the sting. Are you ready? All right. No, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. What? Vocalisations. Vocalisations! That is an old sting. That's from back in the BFM days. Even earlier, the George FM days

and that was David Farrier's little voice here at The Insane Vocalisations. We probably have to pay a copyright or something like that. That actually sounded eerily like uh... Since that was a reversal, it was David Farrier doing it.

What a creep. Listen. The death is irreversible. Vocalisations. Yeah. Farrier is Diana. Oh, my God. Diana's ghost.

Either that or he's one of the commentators on the Bean Uprising channel. So, this little piece of audio comes from a bigfoot hunter who claims he caught Sasquatch screaming

in the dead of night in the Rocky Mountains. Well, at least his profile on YouTube is Rocky Mountain Sasquatch organisation. So I don't know where he actually recorded this. Doesn't actually say, oh, sorry, it does. British Columbia in Canada.

Oh, yeah, that's Sasquatch Country. So I'm going to play the clip now that has both his voice and the screams from Bigfoot. Let's see if you can determine which one is the screams. So, can I just confirm this is not a UFV?

This is a USV. An identified Sasquatch voice. Um... Okay, here we go. I hope you can hear this all. Wow.

It's crackling. You're invisible. That's awesome. Did you hear that at the end? He said it's irreversible. What did he say? He did say that. Yeah, play it again, Buttons.

Okay, here we go. Surely not. Irreversible. Did you hear that? Wait, are you messing with me? What? Who's messing with me? What?

Missing with you? No. I wasn't looking at the screen. I wasn't looking at the screen. I wasn't doing that, Rhys, were you doing that? Okay, try it again. Look at the screen. Okay, here we go. We're going to look at the screen. So no one talk after the clip.

Just give it five seconds at least. Okay. I feel like I can see Darby already ventriloquism. I feel like I can see the mouth position in place. Isn't that obvious? All right, I can't be bothered with this.

Let's move on. Wait, so what happened? It was one of you. You're going to have to watch back. It's too painful him trying to play the bloody thing back. Well, unfortunately. Well, then someone admit to it. There's someone saying reverse. The really sad thing is that on Patreon we're going to put this video up,

but you don't pay for the right level to be able to see the videos. This is just a thing for me to get you to pay more Patreon money. I'm going to pay the extra money on there. I'm going to go in and listen. It's worth it, mate. Guys, honestly. Oh, it's so good.

Okay, so that was vocalizations. Okay, that's awesome. I actually love vocalizations, and it's been so long since we've done one. They're a big part of cryptozoology. What do we think it was? That was definitely a Sasquatch. You can hear the primate kind of

massively deep almost howl-a-monkey style power in the guttural voice of that creature coming from down in the valley there. And I love it because that's the kind of stuff that if I was hearing that, even just hearing it

through a computer, the hairs on the back of my neck stand up because I believe it, you know? But I was one of the very early guys who had the vocalization CD. Wasn't that a button? That was the great thing. We only had this one

CD. On the radio, we would play the vocalizations clip and play one of like about four vocalizations, which, to be fair, were vocalizations, but were recorded from a very, very, very far away microphone.

And it wasn't quite as clear as that one. But then there was also the weird sort of deep Japanese sounding guttural voice. Remember those? Yeah, don't do impressions of that one because you might get into trouble, but it would... I know the one that said it was

Japanese sounding. It was though. It was like it was definitely a sort of yeah, you have to go back on our early tapes, our early shows to find those. I wasn't part of the show back then, just if anyone cancels us off the back

of that old episode. If you do listen back, cancel Farrier. It was definitely Farrier. It was definitely Farrier. The other, actually just for the sake of it, the other thing that we used to play all the time, just

whilst we were reminiscing, was the 9-1-1 call. And so as a special treat, if you listen to the end of the podcast, after the theme tune at the end, I'll give us a little reminiscent treat of the 9-1-1 call. Oh, that is awesome. What a treat! What a treat! What a treat!

It's a goodie. It's a classic, yeah. Okay, well let's move faster into the wrapping up zone now with some more cryptid buzz. Attention, all personnel, it's time for this week's cryptid

I've got something here. So this is a recent Sasquatch sighting. I'll just play the little article here. Seriously, look how big it is. See it? I don't think it is a human. I think it's a Sasquatch. It was a bluebird January morning here in the

foothills of Northeast Provo when a group of guys saw a figure on the mountain that looked like something they've never seen before. You can't just see something that's maybe a once in a century discovery and go do your 9-5 job. You got to go look for fur or footprints

or some kind of evidence. And the camera was rolling as Austin took to the mountain with a buddy on a search for the elusive Bigfoot. Their findings were inconclusive. Is it a bear? Maybe. That's plausible. What is a person? Also plausible? Was it something else?

I think that's also plausible. Who knows? On the other hand, I spoke to a curator from the Natural History Museum of Utah who says... So this is the bit that pisses me off. This guy from the Natural History Museum who just shuts it all down completely. It only is that figure in the video

not Sasquatch, but it's safe to say that Sasquatch is not something that would even exist. What's the likelihood that there are big animals that have gone undetected by scientists and by trained observers? Dr. Eric Rickhart has spent much of his career exploring places

people have never gone before. Piss off, mate! Dr. Eric Naysayer. Get on your buddy. Yeah. So far no bigfoot or anything like it. There are lots of undiscovered things, particularly in the natural world, but they don't take the form of

giant apes running around. Yes, they do! Yes, they do! There you go. It's a bee. He actually, look at his mustache. He looks like he's a shave down yeti who's just missed the top lip. Oh, yes. That's why he's saying no that they don't exist

because he knows that they do because he's one he's trying to hide. He's been sent out to live amongst us to try and take us off the scent. It's a red herring. Yes. That's quite herring. He's out on a rope giving back a thumb up

or thumb down in the reality world. I think I've convinced him that we're not real, guys. Pull me back! What was the name of the first guy? I want to talk like him. I just love that little is it this? Could it be that? Or could it be that?

That's how Chad should have it everywhere. Oh, yeah. And the fact that he's out actually looking for Sasquatch and gets that video footage and then doesn't zoom in or they don't sort of like try and analyze it by you know, normally a piece of footage like that you'd crop right in and zoom

and try and sharpen up the image and all that kind of stuff and they're just like oh, what's that over in the distance there? What could be anything? It's like, well, why don't you try and figure it out? I was reading about this phenomena that happens

quite often up on the mountains they call them sky ghosts but it's actually a natural phenomena where I don't think that that video footage necessarily was at. Oh, James knows about this. He was telling me about this. Oh, does he? Yeah, he was wanting

me to bring it up this week and I was like was it? No way! Yeah. Funny. It's really funny that you've just started talking about this. That's crazy. I think it's called the Brocken Affair. Yes, that's it! Wasn't he talking about it? That is freaky. Yeah, this morning. But he's listening right now.

Yeah. Get him on. Is he there? James, just turn your microphone on and tell us. Yeah. Oh, here he is. Yes. The fucking Brocken Spectre. The Brocken Spectre! That's it! Are you kidding me? You were talking about this morning. I've been talking about it all weekly on. But can I just say, what an intro?

What an entrance to being a voice on the Crypto Factor. Yes! The fucking Brocken Spectre! The fucking Brocken Spectre! Welcome, James. Welcome, James Moran. That's good. I'm going again now. Hey, James! That was good. Wait!

Do you have any more info on the Brocken Spectre? You were telling me about it this week. What is it, exactly? You know, it would be great if it actually was some form of spectre, but I'm going to be really boring now when it's just an optical illusion caused by

sunlight going through mist and it catches another walker or hiker at a higher peak, hits them and then projects their image through the mist up to, can be up to like a hundred meters, so it can look like someone's walking next to you

through the mist. That's bizarre. Yeah, this is thermal stuff. There's a great thing I saw recently where people on I think it's Lake Michigan are looking at the lake and they can see the skyline of Seattle but it's not there. It can't

be seen because it's over the curvature of the earth, but the thermal inversion means it projects a mirage and you can see the city because it's bent the light. So a city is there that they can see that does not exist. That I think is a different weather phenomenon.

That's the same one that is used when there was that famous photo of a ship which looks like it's hovering above the ocean. Yes. I think that's the same thing. There's a photo of exactly that in a very good book that's come out recently called The Theory of Everything Else.

I knew you'd come round to it. Here it is. Yeah, we got stymied. Wow. It's in the Titanic chapteries. Okay, let's have a look here. There we go. So there's the ocean liner hovering above the sea.

Is that a footnote three pages long for the one photo? Is it? Actually, the whole book is actually just one fact and then the rest of it just a really long footnote. Yeah. Wow. How exciting.

The reason why I looked up a broken spectra or tried to figure that out because I was over on the Faroe Islands, which are these islands that are being out of the water between the top of Scotland and the bottom of Iceland. Right. There's a population

I think of about 80,000 people or so. It's a tiny little fishing village type place. And I was there, believe it or not, with a Christian rock band being their sound engineer, taking them on tour of the Faroe Islands

of all things. It was amazing. Some beautiful people. Amazing. Beautiful, beautiful islands. No trees anywhere. There's actually a wee little grove of trees that is cultivated there so that school kids can go on school trips to go and see what trees look like because

for the entire rest of the islands, it's just all grass covered rock. It's crazy. Anyway, I was sitting in a car outside one of the venues where the band were going to play and I swear I saw this creature or something running and bouncing along the

top of the ridgeline sort of late afternoon, early evening. It was sort of dark and shadowy and there's this shadowy figure that looked like it was sort of running and jumping on top of this ridgeline. So just recently, I've just come back to me and I've been trying to kind of

explain it away and trying to figure out what it was. And also shout out to the band that I was on tour with. The Christian rock bands name was Glory Box. They were called what? Glory Box? Glory Box? Yeah. It's a bit on the nose, isn't it?

They were great. They're awesome band. Wow. So you're thinking that that might have been the Brock Inspector? Well, I was trying to look up ways to explain it because I suddenly was like, hang on, that's right. I saw that thing and I never really, it just sort of came back to me in the memory

and that's how I found about the Brock Inspector because it was like looking up creatures that run across the top of mountains and it was like it could be this phenomenon. Interesting. Wow. Yeah. Anyway. Glory Box. It's a hell of a name.

And if you listen to the second tag of today's episode, there'll be a song from Glory Box. So that's a little extra, little treat for you as well. Little right after the 9-1-1 call. Maybe we do a remix of the 9-1-1 Saswas call

in Glory Box. So my cryptid news this week. I was going to do a Sasquatch thing as well. A little bit of Sasquatch sighting, but actually, I'll just do this instead even though it's not 100% news. Just as we were starting I got a message on Facebook

from someone I haven't heard in a long time. Now, I swear to God guys, this will be the last mention of my book however, in I swear to God I don't buy it for a second. This book here, The Theory of Everything Health by Dan Shriver. So

in the book, in the intro, I talk about how my wife, Finella is a bit of a magnet for weirdness and how when a plumber came over to the house, she was chatting to him for about 5 minutes while I was in the kitchen. She was showing him the problem. Then she came into the kitchen

and she said, what an interesting guy he's from Kazakhstan and I was like, oh yeah, cool. And she went, yeah really weird. When he was a kid, he was sitting in a field and an eagle swooped down picked him up by the shoulders and flew away with him and I was like, what? How did you get that in 5 minutes of chatting?

Anyway, it turned out he gave me the rest of the story. His mum beat the eagle down with a stick and I said in the book I actually believed him instantly because a lot of people say that eagles don't do that. But I happen to have met an eagle who steals children expert a few years back at a 14

times conference and watched him hand over a file. He just messaged me as we were starting our show. I haven't heard from him in ages. Yeah. And he said because he's got the book and he said I thought this might be interesting to you.

So he's just sent me a link to what's called Thunderbirdphoto.com and it's all about and he doesn't know that we went looking for the Thunderbird. I don't mention that anywhere. And it's the sight of someone who's trying to track down. I've just had a quick look.

It says the missing Thunderbird photo and then he gives a little quote in the year 1886 the tombstone Arizona epitaph which helped make Wyatt Erp famous published a photograph of a huge bird nailed to a wall. The newspaper said it had been

shot by two prospectors and hauled into the town by wagon lined up in front of the bird with six grown men with their arms outstretched fingertip to fingertip. The creature measured about 36 feet from wingtip to wingtip. Wow. That's what he said. So he writes underneath and this is

not my friend. He's just passing on someone's sight. He says if you think you've seen this picture described above you're not alone. Going back more than 50 years witnesses believe they've stumbled across this haunting image in newspapers, magazines and books and even TV or online although there are many fakes

invariably when they trace their steps back to locate the source of the photo it's not there like it's been wiped from the pages of history. Wow. The illustration at the top of this page is just one come helling example of the image seared in people's memories and there are many variations.

Did this photo really exist? If so, what exactly does it depict and what does it mean for our understanding of the natural world? Have you seen the missing Thunderbird photo? Contact me at editoratthunderbirdphoto.com Wow.

And so what follows is a huge blog of all the encounters of Thunderbird but his latest blog published just yesterday November 18, 2022 is Man Eating Birds of New England and it's all about eagles in part this article

that swoop down and steal people real accounts that have occurred and they include in bullet point form in September 1899 an eagle attempted to carry off a four-year-old Anna Haritz in the village of Girleville Girleville?

Girleville? That's a different that was a different type of bird Is that where you were brought up, Dan? Yeah it's honestly this ginormous bird came down. She carried me away, mate oh god, had to pay extra

for that but you know, Girleville it's a village of Girleville, do you know where it is? No. It's in Mansfield Mansfield Are you sure this is a legit website? Did he just come across this site?

I think we should fact check this this seems like one of those classic I know, if I create a fake website about Thunderbird photos he may just talk about it on the cryptid factor we'll wait until he starts broadcasting then we'll send him the link so he can't fact check it

so Girleville pull down out cancel him he's giving it thumb down he's giving it thumb down pull him out oh man, that was close you were just about eating alive there

people started taking your books off the bookshelf no, is he cancelled? no, take them down he's talking about Girleville no, he's fine again he's fine for a little bit but he came out it's spelt

G-U-R-L-E-Y Girleville that's the one, I've heard of that place Connecticut Mansfield, Connecticut I'm not far from Connecticut right now it won't only be a couple of hours to drive up there I could go for a quick hunt

get to Girleville get a photo of you outside the sign sorry hun, what am I up to I'm just actually going to Girleville tonight no, no, I'm going to go look for a bird it's all above board anyway, that's kind of cool to see

that someone's out there hunting when we were out in St. Louis where we met the late great chief Huffer who actually managed to capture on film a giant bird of some sort I thought we saw the photo in his archive I've definitely seen the photo

I've definitely seen the photo as well but I wonder if that was because I think there was a few fakes there's one legit one but then there were people who recreated it because they couldn't find the original anyway, just quite cool Eagle who steals children expert that's in contact as we start recording

that's very cool we're back there's been a lot of weird synchronicity in this episode which is always cool it means that we're back on track and we're doing the thing that we're supposed to be doing and that's why the universe has gone alright, let's see

we can make them realize that they're on the right path again which we are, and so listeners thank you so much for being on the right path with us, we are sorry it's taken us so long to get back but we have been very busy as you know

so this was a little special treat for all of us and I hope we can do the same thing again very soon so on behalf of everyone here what about my krypton use what you did yours what did I do

vocalizations that was a different section I'll keep my news this is actually good buttons, you do yours because it'll give me time to finish writing this piece here about the two legends but that means you won't be able to listen

to my awesome news because you'll be concentrating on something else trust me darling, I'll be listening like I always do with a half an ear open super quickly Bigfoot, ghost or killer clown question mark person pictures

some creature lurking in terrifying woodland photo was that Bigfoot, ghost or Bigfoot, ghost well it could be either but they've written it Bigfoot, ghost or killer clown so here's a photo that was captured

a terrifying picture of a shadowy figure snapped in some woodland has the internet and a frenzy, many suggesting it could be a ghost, a clown or even Bigfoot two images, one of them zoomed in we're posted to Twitter

and caption says took this on my walk, what the F star star star is that I'm scared and I'm just going to show you the picture now shows what appears to be a figure crouched behind some shrubs with its head and left shoulder visible

it's quite cute whatever it is it's definitely a shadowy figure with the sun coming behind it it does kind of look clownish it does look a bit like a Muppet or something you know what it looks like to me and Fragile Rock, whereas those guys

that are looking after the trash heap up the top, he's got the face of one of those guys it's the son who always sees the Fragiles and the mum and dad go no there's nothing down there he looks like that dude I think to me he looks like

this will be a very obscure reference but Jeremy from the Yellow Submarine animation Jeremy what the hell are you talking about I'll show you an image of Jeremy for me it's definitely Jeremy from chapter 4

of my latest book coffee tables are useful I got a second Jeremy's not practicing to be a clown is he well he kind of is, he's half the furry thing that we've just seen look that's Jeremy there oh yes

it does look a bit like Jeremy it's very much like Jeremy oh look at him there yes then showing us what is effectively like a Sasquatch cartoon but with a clown mask on yeah it's literally the mix of what the two descriptions are

can you put that picture up again buttons and let's put Jeremy's photo next to it ok here we go oh there's the trash heap as well so I've put up my guy there Dan the trash heap is spoken that's what it is

that's actually the dead, the son the son guy oh yo remember him yeah yeah remember these guys that's really cool that's clearly what it is that's awesome I think we've just about done

what we usually do the only other thing to do I guess is wrap up with me finishing the thing at the start which I obviously wrote during your very interesting piece there just the thing it just gave me another couple of minutes of free time it's the longest padding

you say I'm good at padding you padded a whole show just to get the rest of your intro out hang on, hang on, do a couple bit more padding I've got a little bit at the end here oh ok I'm going to say I looked up actual Faroe Island cryptids

and it came up there's one called the Nikaer I don't know if that's how you pronounce it probably it's N-Y-K-U-R it's grey a black head like an ox's seal like flippers or hooves

that have been reversed also appears in human form appears as a centaur-like combination of a horse with one red eye a rider with a massive head and transparent skin either moose or loaves like a cow

or nays like a horse likes to entice human females underwater so if ever you're in the Faroe Islands just watch out for that one the Nikaer looks terrifying I was going to say it's a bit of padding

just before we get to Reese that for any listeners and I'd like to take my relationship with this podcast further I'm going to join the Patreon we did a pretty fun thing the other day which was for Patreon members only which was the first ever cryptid factor

book club where we managed to go through a book which was Andy Weir's Project Hail Mary and then Buttons myself and Helena who is the moderator we brought 70 cryptid knights into a big zoom conversation

we spent two hours discussing the book and we're going to do another book really soon so if you get into the discord via the Patreon very soon you're going to be part of the next book club and it was awesome, it was great and the video is going to go up over the book club session it was wicked

I now want to re-listen to the book because I got an education on what the book was about I got it totally wrong I thought it was some religious thing and it turns out it's about space or something alright, it's time to wrap up and... Oh, here's the intro

just in time to get the intro as we finish Well, paint me turquoise and dipping in the ocean till I disappear from view two legends are coming from down below Atlantis prophets from long ago

they tied a rope around his body give us a thumbs up when you've done your potty help me I'm trapped I'm trapped it's reversible he's back

oh, thanks guys oh, shit what's going on down there? I'm just saved by these two guys what? there's no one down there wow came back from the dead pool

I don't know, it was fun thanks so much for everything guys and don't forget the book is out but when is it out in America, Dan? June next year, but it's going to be an American edition so it's going to have its own new cover I'm going to come over to America do some promotion

until it comes out no you're not, you need to get back we've got the Thanksgiving Day Party next Saturday oh, yay hopefully we'll see you all again next week or maybe in a few weeks once I finish this show

live from the Thanksgiving Party next Saturday you never know with the emphasis on the no bye oh what are you reporting? ah, I got a strange going on out here, something just killed my dog

something killed your dog my dog went flying through the arrow with a tree I don't know how it did it okay I'm really confused all I saw was my dog coming over the fence and he was dead when she hit the ground I didn't see any cars

all I saw was my dog coming over the fence and he was dead when she hit the ground I didn't see any cars what are you reporting? we got someone or something crawling around out here can you see what it was? was it a person or an animal or

I can't tell all I know is that my sensor light came on and I just happened to glance and see this thing running across the yard a good sized man or something looks like a man I don't know what it was I don't know what it was

I don't know what it was or something looks like a man I don't know what it was just that it ran across the yard okay you've had problems in the neighborhood before yeah my dog was killed here just recently I don't know what it was, whatever it is I couldn't catch it if I was going to chase it

so whatever it was it was standing up I'm out here looking through the window now I don't see anything, I don't want to go outside Jesus Christ you better hello get somebody out here this son of a bitch is about 6 foot 9

I don't know do you see him now sir? yes I'm looking right at him okay hang on is he in your yard sir? yeah he's big okay what's he doing in your yard? he's looking at me

and the guy is on foot I don't know it's a big real big person that's all I can say okay but it is a person somebody really big but he's all in black is he a black male or a white male?

did you actually see what he was? or was he just wearing black? he's all in black can he's big? he is big you I am a monster inside myself I am a monster

inside myself a cruel monster inside myself I am a monster inside myself inside myself inside myself inside myself

inside myself it's irreversible