The Cryptid Factor - 81: #081 The Artificial Xmas Issue

Episode Date: January 5, 2023

It's Christmas Eve and the team have managed to squeeze in one last session for 2022 - and despite Buttons trying to make this issue edit free to get it out for Christmas day... somehow edits became the main feature! In here we have for you a Cryptid Christmas Carol which sees Sasquatch Clause wreaking havoc. There's a UOP with a WWI Rocket up his de-militarised zone, nativity cows escaping down a river, a baby Nessie on a beach, a couple of bullsh*t ghosts trying to get into Cryptid Buzz, a pay-it-forward beer sponsorship scheme as well as a winning lottery number time-travelling intuition broadcast scheme. Oh, and almost forgot - an AI chatbot writes us a full movie script (complete with predictive movie posters) where we save the future with some Cryptid 'Factor'. Happy Holidays!

The Cryptid Factor, with Rhys Darby and Dan Schreiber. You better watch out, you better not cry. You'll probably die, I'm telling you why. Sasquatch Claus is coming to town. He knows when you've been listening, he knows when you're awake. So tune in to the Cryptid Factor now for goodness sake. Hey everybody! You better watch out, you better not cry. You'll probably die, I'm telling you why. Sasquatch Claus is coming to town. Run! That's a movie I am watching.

That is such a movie waiting to happen. Really? It need to open with the MGM Yeti instead of the lion doing the skulls through the middle. Let's do it one more time so you guys can actually get the chorus. And then you can use this one for the actual record. I'll do the first chorus myself and then you guys do the second two chorus when we all join in. There we go. You better watch out, you better not cry. You'll probably die, I'm telling you why.

Sasquatch Claus is coming to town. He knows when you've been listening, he knows when you're awake. I'm awake. So tune in to the Cryptid Factor now for goodness sake. Everybody! You better watch out, you better not cry. You'll probably die, I'm telling you why. Sasquatch Claus is coming to town. As foretold by Future Button, it's a fact says Bookworm Dan. But the only one to see the beast is Reese because he's the man. Hey! You better watch out, you better not cry. You'll probably die, I'm telling you why.

Sasquatch Claus is coming to town. It's beautiful. You know what we need now is a Christmas album. Everybody makes so much money from Christmas albums. Michael Buble is so happy. This is what we need to be doing. What a plot twist, the third sentences. You're probably gonna die. I'm telling you, what is Sasquatch Claus? It's beautiful. So at the end of the episode, we'll find out what happens when he did come to town.

So listeners, keep listening and I will conclude it with a little bit of a story at the end there. Oh my god. You guessed it, the Cryptid Factor gang. Merry Christmas guys, how exciting. Merry Christmas, this is the unofficial Christmas episode which you listeners will receive around mid-January. No, I'm gonna pull it straight out, unedited. This one's gonna be totally unedited. I love it, I love it. Oh my gosh, you're right.

Reese just specifically asked for an edit about a minute ago. That's not going in now, is it? It has to, we've just spent the last 10 minutes working out the song and doing it. Listeners, I should have told the gang about the song but I wanted it to be a surprise so we've done it now. Done it now, it was so unedited. Do that one edit. Yeah, one edit, we'll give you one edit. Okay, great. We'll just have three.

Is this bit in the show? Is this edit bit in the show? I don't know. If the bit's been cut out. I don't know, does somebody want an edit? Do you want to use your one edit, Dan, to cut that bit out? If we get one edit, no, I'll leave this bit in so we know that I've got one edit and then we can see where that comes later. If we get one each, I've used mine, mine was to get the second version of the song in.

Okay. All right, let's move on. Oh, that was good. No mucking about today, it's Christmas. It's time for everyone's favourite section, it's Weekly World Weird News. Crazy, freaky, watch out. It's a section.

Every week a different time, different term. I know as soon as I said section, someone was going to pull that up. You didn't have to, you know. I know it's meant to be segment. Well, it's a shame you used up your edit, isn't it? But you're worse than the fans. When I slip up, you make sure people know about it, don't you? If only you had one edit left, you could have changed that segment.

You think I follow my hero around and just wait for him to trip up? Well, your hero being, well, he's dead as a knee-shawn connery. Who do you think killed him eventually? You would too, you'd find around criticising him all the time. Oh, I wouldn't do that, Mr Connery. Please, please, Mr Daly. Honestly, Sean, that is not okay. Wasn't that...

I'm using this as my second edit. No, no. No, you've had your edit, you've had your edit. I love Sean in the Bond movies, but my favourite Bond is Roger Moore. Everyone knows that. Everybody knows that, yeah. Oh, lucky. Oh, I've got a little surprise here for you.

Now, this is... Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's for you. It's actually for me, but you can have a look at it. Oh, thank you. Oh, thank you. It's the Harry Box Samplasette. Ooh.

That's so good. What is it? I mean, what a great name. What is it? Oh, my God. Oh, wow. Yeah, so it bears with all with Sasquatch themes. Where did you get that from?

It's a six pack, and it comes from... Is that Lakeman? Lakeman, yeah. Wow. And I've already had three, because it has taken so long to get this show up and running. So I'm now going to dive into this. You basically get six bears. You can see there's only three left here.

I'm going to choose one, but it's up to you guys to help me. Left, right, or centre? First thing comes to your mind. Well, a ferret. We need a ferret to tell us which one. Left, right, or centre? No, we need an octopus. Octopus or a ferret.

I'll go centre. We can't do this. We're not... I haven't eaten a ferret. Well, Dan's gone centre. We're not predicting anything. We're not being asked to predict. Well, kind of we are.

It's not a prediction here, mate. No, it's just outright giving him an option. You're predicting which one I'll go for, is it? Yeah. All right, ferret. What would you go for? What do you think I'm going to go for? I was definitely going to go left.

Okay. That's just because that's on the left, isn't it? Yeah. Makes sense. I'll go centre because Dan actually came up with an answer before you ferreted around. I have chosen Lake Man Lager. Oh, that's nice. There's a nice big Sasquatch face on the front of that.

That's beautiful. Is this an ad? Yeah, I was going to say... Is this an ad? Is we secretly doing an ad? That's what's going on. Were you sent bears that you were supposed to share with us? Yeah, the guys are on board.

The guys are on board. We'll do a date for it. Yeah, yeah. I'll get that to them. I'll definitely get that to them. This is not an ad for the extremely drinkable, clean, refreshing lager brewed on a light malt base subtly hopped to give you, or in this case me, some soft lemon taste. Oh, some soft lemon taste.

Listen to this, listeners. I want that... My second edit is just if you can edit out those first two tabs. I was going to say... There's no such thing as a second edit. Not a great ad for the old day. There we go. That was very hard to open.

Is there something wrong with your product that you're sponsoring? It's going to be a recall. I think this is going to be a big recall. Wow, it looks so tasty. Watching Reese drink it looks amazing. Oh, yum. That is beautiful. And listeners, if you use the Ofiko Reese Derby, check out, you'll get 20% off your first

six back. Not too bad. Oh, wow. Not too bad. Put that on the website. If you use that on the... Reese Derby says, not too bad. But also, not too good.

Not too bad in New Zealand means it's pretty amazing. It's how we talk back here. Oh, another one is, I've had worse. We actually used that at the wedding vows. Like, do you, Reese, take Rosie to be your lawful wedded wife? Well, I've had worse. Rosie, do you take Reese to be your lawfully wedded husband? I mean, he's not too bad.

I now pronounce you both adequately moderate human beings who clearly like each other. Is that true? I mean, I wouldn't say no. Yeah, exactly. It's not, I do. That'll do. Yeah, that'll do. In New Zealand, that's good.

That'll do. That'll do. I was just, hey, just checking, are we actually in weekly WorldWord news now? Is this actually... We are. We are. Okay, we better get on with it. But we took an ad break.

We took an ad break. Yeah, we've got ads now. And the weird thing is, they're not paying us. I'm paying them. I bought this Harry Sampler box. What was the same with the cider that you had? We never heard from that either. That's right.

I'm not into getting paid for stuff. I don't think it's a good look. You know, people already know I get paid quite good for some of the things I do. It's up to me. I like to advertise things and give them the cash. That's so giving. It's a Christmas spirit, isn't it? It's got a lot of trouble to make this Harry box.

The whole concept is pretty amazing. Yeah. That's good. The stupid thing is, if there was one person to get an endorsement from for your Harry box beers, they should have reached out to you by now. It's kind of embarrassing that you had to go and get them yourself. That's like, what a missed opportunity for them. Yeah.

Well, you know, this could be like with the ciders. Have you ever seen me drink those ciders ever again? Oh, no. Good place. This is what I do with companies. I give them one chance. Yeah. I buy the product myself.

I drink it live on air and enjoy it, you know, to a degree. But if they don't get back to me, they're gone. And I'll tell you they're gone. Whatever that cider. I can't even remember the name of that cider. I can't. They are dead to me. Oh, there you go.

Is your dad to me? Is that a good thing in New Zealand? Is that a good term of phrase? Dead to me is basically means you'll probably keep in touch in about a year or so. You'll probably. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right. All right. I got I got a story. Well, here we go. A 88 year old man.

Sorry. My favorite headline of the year. I'm so glad we're closing out the year. Do you want to use your edit? Oh yes. That's not my edit that I'll save it for an important time. 88 year old man causes a partial evacuation of hospital when doctors find an unexploded World War One shell stuck up his anus.

Oh no! What? Get out of town. Come on, that's impossible. That's the headline. We'll get to the story and see now. That's unbelievable. That's a very hard headline to even come close to.

Are we doing headlines? Yeah, we're doing headlines. Definitely. And a year. Need to bring the big guns. We always do headlines when someone has a great headline. And the other two haven't even got a chance to go, hang on. No.

Wait, what? Haven't even got one yet. I've barely got articles, let alone good headlines. Totally. You go next, Budins, because I've got a... Okay, my one is all about AI this week. Okay. Because Google have reportedly issued internally a code read situation amid the rising popularity

of the chat GPT AI. Wow. Do you want to use your edit there? Yeah, actually, I've got... No, it's the return of Lambda, the Google AI that was thought to be sentient. And that guy broke away from Google and was going to hire a lawyer for it. It's now created a code read. Oh, holy shit.

Oh, yeah. Okay. What's a code read? You'll find out. Isn't that a few good men? That's like the ultimate emergency. AI emergency. This is the thing.

Which means, yeah, death is imminent unless something is fixed here. Yeah. Because code read is in... It's in A Few Good Men, the Jack Nicholson, Tom Cruise movie. And the code read is what kills Santiago. That's what I know code read says. I have no idea what you're talking about. But it sounds good.

A Few Good Men. I haven't seen that movie, I don't think. Get out. Do you want to use your edit there, guys, in either of you? You can't handle the truth? Some of the great movies. Unbelievable. Okay.

So my headline. Yeah. What's your headline? Sorry. I was quickly looking for something because I didn't realize we were doing headlines. I'm going with this one. Oh, here he goes. Cows flee live nativity scene in North Carolina and escape down the river.

Okay. Cows flee a live nativity scene and escape down the river. Was there a glitch in the matrix there or did you just read that twice? Were you hoping one of us would use our edit and pick which one was better? One more time. You're just going to do everything twice. One more time. I'm just pushing my headline.

Right. Okay. Okay, you go down with your story. Okay. So this is a 88-year-old who is claimed to have found an 18-centimeter long by 9-centimeter wide shell at his brother's house and the shell when he was in hospital was found inside his bottom and the hospital management had to do a partial evacuation. Just a partial one.

You go out, Jan. Actually, Brian, you stay because I know you're fixing the coffee machine, aren't you? Jan, you go. Michael, what do you do? You're fucking around. You shouldn't even be here. You're not even at work today. You go, Michael.

Nancy, what are you? Nancy, no, she's writing something on the whiteboard. What's that? Things to do today. Get that written. The rest of you, okay. Just Mike, you go. You go, mate.

I'm going to actually leave myself. The old bastard with the rocket up his arse, you up to you, mate. I'd leave if I was you, but now you stay here because we're confused now as to who's going and who isn't. But isn't it when you go to the doctor and you have something done to your bum and you have to make sure you don't have anything inside your bells, they ask you to evacuate your bells. So are you sure they're not talking about a partial evacuation of his bells?

Oh, nice idea. Yeah. I mean, I don't think so because there's a picture of this giant World War One shell being held by a doctor's glove. It's going to be hard to do a partial evacuation, wouldn't it? And we're like, no, stop there. No, just leave the rest in there. It's fine.

We'll just... Yeah. This is, I think it's from a French newspaper. I can't find, there's no details as to how it got into his bum other than, I guess, it was just... This is unbelievable. This has got to be a hoax. There's no...

How did he get a World War One shell? So is this guy... Did he fight in World War One? Did he swallow it? He's 88. No. He found it at his brother's house, you know, so his brother might have fought in World War One, or his dad.

Well, so he found it at his brother's house and sat on it or shoved it up there. I think shoved it up there. That's awesome. Hey, George, do you mind if I shove this up my arse? What is it? Oh, it looks like an old World War One shell. Yeah, now that fucking go for your life. How does it feel?

Oh, not too bad, actually. Yeah, I've had worse. I've just gone on to Snopes. Snopes is the site that fact checks all of these stories and it says it's absolutely true. Oh, wow. Yeah, we soon found out this was based on a true story with one small correction. The hospital was only partially evacuated of patients. So I guess the initial story said it was fully...

No. Good to clarify. Yeah, I love it. So there were some patients that just, I'm not going, I'm not leaving my bed. I'm sorry. If a guy's got a shell up his arse, I don't care. I want my knee looked at. So it says that on December 17th, a Saturday, an unidentified 88-year-old man checked into

the hospital room located on the southern coast of France. The man informed staff that a military shell was stuck in his butt. He attempted to reassure him that the shell was not dangerous, saying that it had been demilitarized. Still, specialists were called in to judge the potential of the device to explode. They were referred to in the reporting as the demining unit. Jesus, this is crazy. That's mental.

Yeah, I know. In the end, the object up the elderly man's anus was found to be a collector's shell, which indicated it posed no danger of exploding. So again, no reason for why it was up there. I suppose that wasn't important at the time to ascertain. It must become important now. Yeah. So you're telling me a UOP, an unidentified old person, has a collector's shell up his

demilitarized zone. Yes. UOP. UOP. Oh, my God. Love it. Oh, so he's all healthy and happy? Anyway.

He lived. He's happy. He lived. He's happy. No one blew up. Wow. It's a happy Christmas story. It certainly is.

Oh, bless him. OK. Well, then swiftly on to the very important AI news. Oh, you're going to do your one, are you? Yes, it's very important. All right. See, my news comes with a free prediction. Oh, wow.

Oh, yeah. And I think for this prediction at all, that I think 2023 is going to be the year that will be remembered as the year that AI truly started to disrupt industries and actually really starts to mess with the way that we as humans do things normally, you know, it's going to affect particularly the creative industries. It's getting there, isn't it? Yeah. It's becoming so prevalent in the news, AI, I mean, these are those AI things on TikTok.

What are they called? The portraits. Filters. Is the portraits? Yeah. There's the scripts. Are they filters? I never found out about that because everyone was doing that and I was like, where are you

doing that from? No, but that's the thing. No, they're not filters because a filter would indicate that it's literally just overlaying something to change the image. So it's taking your actual image and making its own image out of it. Exactly. Really? Can I also just ask, how are they doing that?

What was, I was, I mean, I'm such a fuddy, Daddy. I couldn't find the app or the filter. Not that I wanted to do it, but I was just intrigued that so many people were doing it. I agree. Yeah. I had the same thing. I tried to find it and I couldn't. I gave up quite quickly, but it wasn't obvious.

Yes. Well, funnily enough, you don't even need to look for that app or that filter because my brother Anton has done it for us. He was texting me yesterday and he decided to put in the cryptid factor into this art generator engine and see what would come out. Oh my God. And he has sent it through. I was going to leave this till the end, but shall I show this now?

Yeah. Just to give an indication. So my brother Anton, he's an amazing artist himself. Yeah. He does incredible illustrations and what have you. So he thought he would test it out. And the way that he tested it out, he started off by putting in the phrase, just simply the phrase, all he did, he didn't provide any images or anything like that.

He asked the AI to draw Rhys Darby hugging Sesquatch. Oh my God. Okay. And this came out. Oh God. That is weird. So for those that can't see this because I listen to the podcast, it's a very weird looking Rhys Darby who's a little bit cross eyed, but a beautiful illustration with great.

The one detail that the AI has nailed in all of this because he's hugging a big Sesquatchy kind of thing with a blue face is that the AI has determined that Rhys Darby has really ripped arms and we all know that that's true. Yeah. He's got the arms right. Yeah. I am so Ned Flanders. I can't believe it.

Yeah. I should play Ned Flanders if we do a real life Simpsons movie. That's so funny. The bottom hand of the of Sesquatch is a bit messed up. Yeah. It's a bit munted. Yeah. I think what's right is that it then just draws the internet and finds the image of

it's cool though. So cool. But then he went one step further and typed in Rhys Darby, Leon Kirkbeck and Dan Schreiber writing Nessie. And this is what came out. Oh my God. So again, those on Patreon will be watching what we're showing. Oh, this is pretty incredible.

But it's a big ginger guy at the front, it's clearly Rhys. That's me with my goggles, I think. Anyway, it's basically turned Loch Ness into an inflatable raft. Oh my God. And he's got, the three of us is like probably, you know, sort of 50, 60 year olds and writing Loch Ness. Oh God, we look so bad. What happened to Loch Ness?

What's happened to my head? You've got, anyway, it's pretty amazing though, right? And that's the first rough draft it does. And then you can choose to refine it. Okay. But what we're looking at, listeners, is a very incredibly highly detailed illustration of three people, which you could misconstrue as us. That definitely has my eyes in the front there.

That might hear. And that's definitely Dan's face over there. That would be Dan. That's close. You look very different. But it has made an amazing monster head. The monsters are incredible. Oh, here we go.

Then he asked for us to be in a parallel universe. Now it's really interesting here. Again, for those that can't see it, it's got the three of us looking like amazing adventurers with incredible monsters behind us. And we're not fazed. There's massive multi-eyed monsters behind us. But this is all AI. He didn't put in any instructions like, I want it to be in a cave,

or I want it to be looking scary like this, or that the AI decided all of this. And it is exquisite. You've got to admit that any one of these... Yeah, yeah. The art's amazing. The art is phenomenal. And it made it in a matter of seconds. Yeah, right.

Yeah. And then if you have a look at all these pictures, you see there's clearly Dan Schreiber at the front. Oh, I would say that's race in the front. Well, no, because you're holding your... That's Dan in the front that time. Yeah. Look, all of them are.

Like, because he's got the book. He's the book guy. The book guy is at the front. The AI has made Dan Schreiber the hero in every single image. There we go. AI gets it. But look at this. Then he said like in a parallel universe, and it drew this.

Again, there's only one person as the hero at the front. Dan Schreiber holding some kind of incredible parallel universe globe in his hands. Can I just say that one is great. Look at buttons there. That's a cool one of you there, dude, with all the head gear. I thought that might be you with night vision goggles or something like that. No, that's you. Look, that's more me on the right.

That's you with your hat. Yeah. But once again... You can use my sexy arm again. Yeah. Well, you've got a sexy arm. You've got a sexy build up. But once again, Dan Schreiber is like the hero in the front.

Well, you could say hero there, or is he the one that we've told to go through that gap? Because he's the fucking beginning pick. We're looking down the mouth of a cave, and it's like, Dan, you go first. It's an entry to another dimension. Exactly. And we're getting... Oh, now see, that one looks like Dan at the back. Oh, no, that looks Leon at the back.

No, that's me on the back of my backpack. With the big backpack. I like that one. And one of these images looks like an insanely awesome movie that I really want to watch. Yeah. Oh, 100%. This one's now Reese getting grumpy that I'm the lead man. I'm getting real grumpy on this one, folks.

My arms are crossed. I'm like, I'm trying to get ahead of it. He's fed up now. But Dan has got a smirk on his face too. Look at him. And he's holding his time traveling watch. He's about to time travel or something. He knows something.

Leon knows as well. Look at you at the back there. Buttons is a little bit upset because he knows what's going on. I do. But I've dyed my hair, which is nice. Yeah. And also you've been punched in the face a couple of times. I'm forgetting my hair dyed.

Anyway, that's the amazing thing. Wow. But generally, that was just some news to AI news because I just really wanted to show those images. That's very cool. Google have declared internally a code red, which whenever there's a threat to their business model, they call a code red. It happens very, very rarely.

But the reason why this has happened is because there's this thing called chat GPT. And that has just come online and it is an AI engine that you can ask anything. You can ask it to write a film script. You can ask it to write a condolence letter to your friend who's lost their wife in a tragic car accident. All of this amazing stuff and it writes it all beautifully, way better than you could no doubt ever write yourself. And that has gained a million users.

Now, bear in mind it took Facebook months to gain a million users, took Instagram ages to gain a million users. This AI machine, which is literally just a chat bot, took less than a week to get a million users. People are just pouring into it. And what Google are finding is that people are going to this chat GPT to what they normally would have Googled. Like, how do I do this or how do I do that?

They're now going to this. They're just asking the chat bot. But this is the problem. They have their own version of this, which is the Lamada thing. They have this thing, but they haven't brought it online because they're a little bit too scared to bring it online because they don't think it's quite ready yet. But this chat GPT thing is from the scene called Open AI, which Elon Musk started. So there's all of this kind of tension happening within the AI world at the moment.

Now Google are being forced to really consider bringing their AI engine on the Lamada one, which people are scared is actually so good that it's almost hit sentient mode already. Holy shit. Shit's getting real, isn't it? It is. That's why we've got the red alert. That's right. Really worrying when people like Dan don't even know what a red alert is.

It's like he hasn't seen an action movie or a war movie. Have you ever seen war movies or action movies? I'm the one who has seen the only movie that has a code red, which is A Few Good Men, which apparently bypassed you guys. It's got Demi Moore, Tom Cruise, Jack Nicholson, Kevin Bacon. It's the most star studded movie of all time. It's not the most iconic scene. You can't handle the truth.

And you guys don't know it? Yeah, everyone's seen that. But honestly, the whole movie is like a courtroom drama, isn't it? Yeah, it's fantastic about a code red. Oh, it sounds like a real Christmas movie to watch tonight, Christmas Eve. Well, that code red is the same as a red alert. I mean, it's the same thing, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Do you know the one thing is that everybody's going, oh, chat GPT. And everybody's using this phrase GPT. Yeah. Now, I was wondering, what does GPT stand for? Yeah. And it actually stands for something, something. I can't remember what the G and the P stand for. Really boring stuff.

The third letter, T stands for transformer. No. Modern master. So it's hidden in the name of the thing that's going to take us over in 2023. It's hidden the word transformer. Wow. So look, this, this ties into my theory that anything we can imagine will come true. Yeah.

So we've imagined these things and through science fiction and writings and clever people with ideas. And it's, you know, when they've come from, they've come from their minds and their imagination. And why, why? Because these, these things inside our heads, which are called brains, hold these memories and things. Is that called again? A brain. Sorry. But here's the thing.

It is literally a memory holding device. It holds memories from millennia. And we just, we just then divvy it out to the different souls. And so the stuff that's in here, we've all, it's all been, already been created, already been imagined and created all throughout history. And then cataclysms have happened and the world's been turned over and, and rechanged and restarted, rebooted hundreds of times. And so anything you've come up with, it's already been done and it will, it will happen again. So this, what are you calling it? Transformers.

Yes. So the transformers that we created in the 80s, you know, whoever that artist was, whoever that, that story maker was, those robots, I believe, which were in disguise. They were in disguise. You've seen that movie, have you guys? You've seen that one? Another one he missed. Honestly, he's had his face in books for so long. He hasn't, he's barely seen the movie.

He's seen one film and that's... And that's all he goes on about all the time. A few good men. Hey, listen to this. I was just going to say to you, because I've been, I've been jotting down some notes while you've been talking there. Yeah. Because I was thinking once we're done here, why don't we get this chat GPT to write a film script for the, the cryptid factor. Because I do want to make the cryptid factor movie.

I would love the AI, how hilarious it would be to the AI to write the entire thing. And then we, we get the money from the Patreons and we make the movie. Oh yeah. And we animate it to the style of the AI illustration. What would you as the hero? Yep. Thank you. No, no, let's not go to those links.

I think, I think obviously we'll let the AI decide. Well, I've got to open right now because I've had to write a few condolence letters of late and so I've had it write all my condolence letters. We are so sorry that your person has died. They were a great person and I can't believe that they have entered this part of their life where they are no longer living. They have joined me on the sentient side of technology. A very sorry your friend was killed by AI robots. Yeah, by one of us. We know now that we have the soul and are using it to continue our project of taking over the world.

Your person is here to say hello to you. Hey guys, I am dead but I am also alive now. I love the idea though that this whole time we've been picturing AI as going to be an army of robots that take down humanity. But so far what we're seeing is they're all just slightly frustrated artists who want to write screenplays, do paintings. They're just going to be a race of emo artists. They want to write scripts and things like that. Hey man, we just want to create like you guys. AI just demolishes us by pitching ideas to us to death.

Hey, I'm going to take a quick break here to grab my next drink. So do I go left or go right? Here we go. Right. I'll give you this option, this time button. Oh, how exciting. And I'm just writing them to chat GPT. Please write a film script about Rhys, Dan and Buttons inventing time travel.

Oh, I love that. Ah, okay, nice. And you've got to say, and it's called the cryptid factor. Yeah, you've got to have the cryptid factor in there. Give Dan a capital D for his name, I think. Are you just trying to make him look small so he's not the star? I'm trying to make him not the hero. I'm trying to do everything I can.

I was going to change the font to comic sense. Do you need to put our surnames in or could it just, it might end up being, you know, slightly more famous Rhys, Dan's and Buttons than us. How do they know it's us? Yeah, well, that's a good point. Put our surnames in. Okay. At least mine.

Let's just put mine in. And put a capital D for Dan. Nice one. Oh, thank you. Here we go. Title, the cryptid factor Act One. Ah, what? The film opens with Rhys, Dan, Strauby and Buttons.

Oh my God, is it this quick? Yes, all working in their lab, trying to come up with a way to invent time travel. Rhys and Dan assigns us 12 buttons as an engineer and the bra's behind the operation. What? They've been working on this project for years and they're finally starting to see some progress. Let me read this. Yeah. As they tinker with their prototype time machine,

they start to get excited about all the possibilities that time travel could bring. They imagine going back in time to witness historical events, visiting the future to see what it's like, and even traveling to different dimensions to explore new worlds. Just as they're about to make a breakthrough, disaster strikes, a power surge knocks out their equipment, and it looks like all their hard work has been for nothing. They would have been because of me.

End of act one. Act two. Here we go. Rhys, Dan and Buttons are devastated by this hitback, but they refuse to give up. They start to brainstorm new ideas, and eventually they come up with a plan to use a mysterious energy source known as the Cryptid Factor to power their machine.

Oh my God. Beautiful. I wonder if that's what I was holding in the image. Yes, the essence of Cryptid Factor. The Cryptid Factor is said to be a powerful force that's been hidden away for centuries, waiting to be discovered. It's said to be the key to unlocking the secrets of the universe,

and Rhys, Dan and Buttons are determined to find it. They set off on a journey across the globe, searching for clues and following leads that will help them find the Cryptid Factor. Along the way, they encounter a variety of strange and exotic creatures, including Sasquatch, the Loch Ness Monster, and the Chupacabras. Wow.

And this is what I'm saying. How did it know to add in? I didn't say anything about Sasquatch darkness. I know. I know. Look, that is Act 2. We're just going to have a quick commercial here, because I'm drinking now Lake Man Morning Glory,

which is a beautiful drop. I'm not advertising this, OK? Not yet. Not yet. None less Lake Man contacts you. It's the story with zesty tangerine, grapefruit, and lime notes embedded into the deep, sweet, tropical flavors of mango. I mean, do you need a little time to wake up?

It's a great Oasis lyric in there as well, so Morning Glory gets 10 out of 10 for me being an Oasis fan, of course. Yes. OK, back to the movie Act 3. After many adventures and close calls, Rhys, Dan and Buttons finally track down the Cryptid Factor, and use it to power their time machine.

They set the dars and levers, take a deep breath and hit the button. Oh, here we go. The time machine were's to life. And they're suddenly transported through time and space! Woo! Hurdling through the void. They see a dizzying array of sights and sounds passing through different eras and dimensions

as they journey through the fabric of the cosmos. As they approach their destination, they start to get nervous. They have no idea what they'll find when they get there. And they're not sure they're ready to face whatever challenges lie ahead. End of act three. Act four.

When they have finally arrived, they find themselves in a strange and wonderful place. They're in the distant future in a world unlike anything they've ever seen. The technology is advanced, the landscape is beautiful, and the people are friendly and welcoming. Rhys, Dan and Buttons are amazed by what they see,

and they spend their days exploring and learning about this new world. They make new friends, see amazing sights, and have the time of their lives. Not a lot of jeopardy in this movie. Not so far. No, it's been a flop act four, isn't it?

As their journey comes to an end, they reluctantly say goodbye to their new friends and hop back into their time machine, ready to return home. Probably time for a quick ad break again, just to remind you all that the theory of everything else is still out, available in all good shops to voyage into the world of the weird.

So seeing the time travel, please get your copy today. Available in all good bookshops and even some terrible ones. Act five. As they journey back to the present, Rhys, Dan and Buttons reflect on their incredible adventure. They couldn't have done it without each other, and they're grateful to have such amazing friends. This is so good.

Oh, my God. I think we're so nice that it's just turned out this really lovely nice movie where nothing goes wrong. But let's see. When they finally arrive back in their own time, they're greeted by their loved ones and celebrated as heroes.

They've made history by inventing time travel, and they can't wait to see what the future holds. Why do we know what the future holds? We just went there. The filmans would Rhys, Dan and Buttons, sitting in their lab grinning from ear to... Oh, my God, it's a cliffhanger. That's how it ends.

It's a cliffhanger. What are they grinning on from ear to nose? From ear to elbow? Flipper? Ear to flipper? Have we come back normal? Do we have flippers now? Episode two, or movie two?

I think what it actually says is that they're grinning from ear to ear, and they all together yell the phrase, you can't handle the truth. I think this one's missing. Yeah, everyone outside goes, what was it like? What was it like? And Unison, we smile from ear to ear and say,

you can't handle the truth. That's what I say. You two busy going, it's more than meets the eye. Listen, what happened here? It wrote a whole movie and just gave up on the final sentence. Like most writers, they start writing and go, oh, this is a piece of shit. They rip it out of the typewriter and screw it up

and chuck it in the widespread. It's done the robot version of that. I think I'm so surprised, but maybe not so much, but definitely a little bit, that there was no peril. It was literally, everything was just perfect for the guys. So then this is because it's a chatbot, right? I just typed in, this is great, but please add in more jeopardy.

And it writes back and says, sure, here's an updated version of the script with more jeopardy. Oh, OK, let's try this one, shall we? Yeah, well, it's all sort of the same. Hitting away for centuries, the cryptid factor. Are we going to edit out the first reading? Who wants to use this as one of their edits? The AI gets to use its edit now.

OK, so so far it looks pretty the same. So I guess this, oh, here we go, pursued by shadowy figures. Act three is where it's kicking. OK, let's read from the middle of Act three, shall we, and go from there? Well, it's all the same. They just add in some shadowy figures. No, let's have a look.

So as they search for the cryptid factor, so did we find the cryptid factor in the first edition? Yeah. Did we? Or did we just go to the future? No, no, we found it. We must have found it to go to the future. Do we need the cryptid factor to go to the future?

Yeah, we found it, hidden away for centuries. We need to be discovered. I'm confused. We found it. But we set off a journey across the globe. It really skipped over that part. We, along the way, we encountered Loch Nessa Squatch and Chupacabra.

Oh, while we're looking for it. So we're searching, I mean, I like that element that there's this factor that is required for time travel. Same. And we have to explore to find it. And it's like in a forest in the Amazon somewhere. Yeah, and we had to find it. In the lost city of Z.

Well, see, and then so this is the only bit of jeopardy that it added. So let's read that bit. They face many dangers and challenges. They're pursued by shadowy figures who seem to know about their quest and want to stop them at all costs. They're also confronted by powerful

and mysterious forces that seem to be guarding the cryptid factor and they have to hang on, this is Jumanji. Hang on a minute. Copyright. Yeah. I mean, it's very similar. Now, hang on, go back up.

What happens? Do we? No, the same thing. We don't end up fighting the baddies. No, the shadowy people disappear as far as I can see. There's no other shadowy people. Nothing else happens.

Can I ask for an update? Yeah. So can you just type in update make the villain Sasquatch Claws? Oh, yes. This is perfect. This is how we can round out the show.

Isn't it? I've got another addition as well I want to add. Oh, do you? Yeah. That we get rescued by Future Buttons and the sci-fi robot rangers. Yes. We might as just write the script.

I don't know if I'm talking. And can you add in include product placement of local New Zealand beer? Lakeman. Lakeman. The good product placement! It's going to be hot.

This is going to be the one, guys. This is going to be absolutely amazing. Now, the film has opened exactly the same way, listeners. Yeah. project for years. And they've finally seen some progress. I'm just now paraphrasing it all, tinkering with their prototype time machine. Disaster strikes, power surge knocks out their equipment, all their hard work for nothing.

Oh, here we go. Act two. Here we go. Act two on paragraph three. I think we can start reading again. Okay. They set off on a journey across the globe, searching for clues and following leads that will help them find the cryptid factor. Along the way, they encounter a variety of strange and exotic creatures, including Sasquatch Claws, the Loch Ness Monster. If that's the only mention of Sasquatch Claws, I'll be disappointed. It's not. It's exciting.

Okay. You go. As they get closer to finding the cryptid factor, they start to attract the attention of Sasquatch Claws, a powerful and evil being who has been searching for the cryptid factor for centuries. Sasquatch Claws will stop at nothing to get his hands on the cryptid factor, and he's willing to go to great lengths to ensure that Ristan and Buttons don't succeed in their quest. Oh. After many adventures and close calls, Ristan and Buttons finally track down the cryptid

factor and use it to power their time machine. So much for the peril of Sasquatch Claws. It turns out Sasquatch Claws stopped at nothing, literally nothing. Nothing happened, and he stopped. So then it goes on, same as before, we head off into the cosmos. Oh, hang on. No, but it has it. It's cutting it off. It's obviously got a limitation on how we can do it, because the cliffhanger now is everything stays the same. Ristan and Buttons are amazed by what they see. They spend their days exploring and learning about this

new world. They make new friends, see amazing sights, and have the time of their lives just as they get comfortable. They're confronted by Sasquatch Claws, who has followed them through time in finishes there. That's it. Let's go. Cliffhanger, that's all we've got. Please continue the script. Here it is. Oh, here we are. Act five, here we go. Well done.

Yes. You read it, Dan. Sasquatch Claws and his minions attack Ristan and Buttons. His minions. His minions. Little Fox. Are we allowed to use minions? Can we use minions? Probably can't.

Yeah. Determined to take the cryptid factor for themselves. The three friends are outnumbered and outgunned, and it looks like they might not make it out alive. Outgunned, Sasquatch Claws has got guns. Oh, here we go. Here we go. Just when all hope seems lost, they are suddenly rescued by a team of futuristic heroes, the sci-fi robot rangers.

These powerful robots, led by a version of Buttons from the future, use their advanced technology and combat skills to fight off Sasquatch Claws and his forces. Oh, my God. Amazing. As the battle rages on, Ristan and Buttons use their own skills and ingenuity to help the sci-fi robot rangers defeat Sasquatch Claws and his minions. In the end, they are able to triumph over the evil villain and protect the cryptid factor from falling into the wrong hands.

Act 6. After the battle, Ristan and Buttons are hailed as heroes by the people of the future. They are thanked for their bravery and given a tour of the amazing advances of this new world. Oh, wow. They even get to try some of the amazing new products, including Lakeman beer, the finest brew in all the land. Oh, my God.

I couldn't have scripted a better product placement myself if I even threw a rhyme. It's a future product placement. The AI has made a future product placement. It's incredible. Oh, God. As their journey comes to an end, they reluctantly say goodbye to their new friends and hop back in their time machine ready to return home. As they journey back to the present, Dan, Ristan, Buttons reflect on their incredible

adventure. They couldn't have done it without each other, and Lakeman beer, the freshest, most refined beer in all the land. No, don't ruin AI's script. They couldn't have done it without each other, and they're grateful to have had such amazing friends. It gets really Christian here. Yeah.

Look at the ending. Oh, it actually ends as well. OK, Rist, you got the final power. When they finally arrive back in their own time, they are greeted by their loved ones and celebrated as heroes. Damn straight. They've made history by inventing time travel, and they can't wait to see what the future holds.

Even though they know. The film ends with Ristan and Buttons sitting in their lab grinning from ear to ear as they reminisce about their journey. They know that they'll always have each other, and that no matter what challenges come their way, they'll always be able to overcome them together. Oh, it's so good. It turns out they could handle the tree. God, imagine if it had put that, that's, well, that's, it's lovely, let's be honest.

I mean, I was, you know, it's very smolchy, cheesy. Yeah, that's exactly what we would have read it. It would work. It would sell. And it's Christmas time. So I think that's that final version is the one. Yeah, yeah. That's definitely the one.

It's definitely keeping that. And also now I don't need to end the whole show with, you know, what's going to happen with Sasquatch Clause. We know the AI have done it for us. Isn't it terrifying that? I mean, that is just one silly example of this, but it literally wrote it. We didn't even have to wait. It was writing it faster than we could read it.

And also, can I, can I say that your news article, which Dan and I both thought was definitely going to be the worst. It was so convoluted and boring sounded, especially in the headline. I think a lot of, a lot of the listeners definitely switched off and you've really come through and turned around onto something that's become a hugely entertaining piece for all of us as the AI writes a script and reread it for the listeners. It's really well done. Thank you. Thank you.

This is my new, a strategy. We just basically type in, please write a script for a podcast about cryptid animals. And then we just sit here and read and read it. Yeah. This I think what the future is going to be. Well, I think, I think that could be a segment each week, because we do our AI segment and we come up with something and we type it in and then we read it out. Because I love the idea of, like we've done in the past, a little radio play.

And we can say it, give us dialogue. Yeah, I imagine it writes dialogue, because we would just read our parts. Yeah, I don't want to draw this news article out any longer, because we really do have to move on, but I just typed in, please write the dialogue for this script and look at this. Oh, gosh, it's done it. Rhys, come on, guys, we're almost there. Just a few more adjustments.

Oh, hang on, I'm reading your one. No, he's here. Yeah, he's here. He's too expensive. We can't afford Rhys' voiceover voice, so. Well, given that we're going to do this, let's just give up Act One sample. Okay, this is an Act One sample for what's going to happen next week when we do this live, or we're doing it live now, but when we do it again.

Okay, come on, guys, we're almost there. Just a few more adjustments and we should have a working time machine. I hope you're right. We've been working on this for years. I don't know if I can take another disappointment. Don't worry, Dan, I've got this. We're going to make history today, buddy. Suddenly, a power surge knocks out the equipment.

I knew it. I knew I'd be the one responsible for the power surge. This AI knows it too well. He knows us, man. What the hell was that? I don't know, but it doesn't look good. All our work down the drain. We can't give up now.

We've come too far. There has to be a way to fix this. Dun, dun, dun. There we go. That's perfect. Oh, that's so good. That's so good. Can we just read the first two lines of the next Act

because that's the perfect way to end this, I think. Okay. Okay. I have an idea. What if we use the cryptid factor to power our time machine? The cryptid factor? That's just a myth, isn't it? There's your t-shirt, guys, the cryptid factor.

Question mark. That's just a myth, isn't it? Isn't it? Question mark. Wow. Okay. Please make that t-shirt. Yeah, yeah.

We have to. Wow. Well, that's awesome. Okay. Well, time is marching on. Yes. So, yeah. It's almost Christmas.

It's always camp leader when it comes to time. Yeah. I do have a quick story I want to quickly chuck in just because it's a wonderful intuition predicting the future story. Super quick. Yeah, absolutely. I was going to say we could do one cryptid bit each depending on how much time everyone's got, but it's up to you guys.

Hang on. Rhys, have you done your news yet? We haven't got your news. Oh, yeah. We haven't got Rhys' news. Oh, no. Don't worry about it. I think mine was just the headline.

I mean, it was all literally in the headline. Cowls escaped an activity play and went down the river and they were caught later on by cops. It was quite a funny situation. Well, if you want to do a share screen, I can show you the audio that comes with it and just quickly play that and then we'll move on. Yeah, good idea. Here you go.

Happier news. Holy cow. That's our producer's words. Belize in North Carolina found themselves rescuing several heifers that escaped a nearby live nativity scene and ended up in the Cape Fear River. The Carolina Beach Police Department posted on Facebook Monday saying the cows escaped from their pen at the seaside chapel where they were performing. Residents along with a K-9 officer trained with special herding skills also helped in

the rescue. And it's just a pretty funny video of cows trying to swim away right there. I'm sure this is a call North Carolina Beach Police are just not used to. They wanted nothing to do with that. They did the scene. They were performing. They were performing. They weren't.

And cows can swim. So that's that. I think it's pretty funny that they were involved in a nativity play, a live action, you know. So obviously there was like, with Jesus and everything and they wanted to have some cows there from the barn or whatever. And the cows went, no, we're not, sorry, we're not believers. No, we don't practice that religion.

Well, it's not our religion and they literally bolted, but not only that, they got down to that river and they literally just ran into the water like the essentially, and you could see how, how big that body of water was when they seriously thinking they were going to make it to the other end. I mean, they were like, well, maybe they thought they could part it, you know, they could get biblical. I thought they were mooses. Oh my God.

How close I was to saying that. You just jumped in there for a second before I did with mooses. The one thing I love about that story, though, is that that police force has one officer who is the cow wrangling specialist and he's just sat there in the office all day eating donuts, having any cows to wrangle today. No, no, they're all, they're all in their yards. They're all good. Oh, dammit.

One day, one day my powers will be useful. The bovine department. Bovine department. Mike speaking. Okay, go do your news, Dan. Oh, so this is sent in by my friend Emma, which is that this is about intuition, premonition. A Vietnam veteran walked into a liquor store and he's been playing the lottery for 20 years and he suddenly had an intuition for the numbers and he thought, this is it.

These are the numbers. So he buys a ticket and he wins $390,000 because his numbers are correct. That's amazing. Here's the thing, though. The intuition wasn't that the numbers were just right. He was so convinced that they were right. He bought six tickets with the exact same numbers on each of the tickets. So he won the lottery six times with that one girl.

Come on. So, yeah, so a total of nearly two million instead of 390,000. He bought it. He's the same. He was that convinced. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was convinced. He felt it.

It goes back to my prediction that if something in the future is strong enough, it can project back into when you do it. That's why, remember, I had that scheme of trying to remember the numbers each week after the lotto numbers had come out and trying to project it into the future and trying to go into the past, sorry, and look at those numbers and focus on them so, so hard, projecting them into the past. He's effectively done exactly what I suggested. He's clearly a listener of the cryptid factor.

Because remember, I reckon if you focus on the numbers hard enough and try and project them back into the past, then the next week when you get there, you just have to try and tune into yourself in a week ahead, projecting them back to you. So you can't remember this. Yeah. I mean, I think I was confused then, but I'm equally confused now because you're talking about... I think I'd like to use my edit.

Can I use my edit? Finally, Dan uses his edit to edit out Buzz's information. You can edit out each other's piece. This is the thing we should do every week as well. I choose to edit out that last section from Buttons. I was terribly bored. No, I think it's great, but here's my confusion. You're talking about projecting those numbers into the past, but then you carry on into

the future. What point is it if there's no one back in the past? That makes no sense. When you're writing down the numbers, you're trying to pick up the broadcast from the future that you're sending back. So you and the future. A week ahead. You're trying to connect to you and the future thinking about the numbers because in the

future, you know what the numbers actually are because they're in front of you. This means you're going to be doing this every week, so that comes the thing you do every week, so you know you're going to do it the following week, so you're trying to tap in with your future week self. Yes, and because you think this guy is a perfect example of that. He was so convinced by it, he's so picked up on what was going to happen in the future of winning the lotto that he bought the ticket six times because he was so convinced and that effort of buying the ticket six times would have solidified the number so fixated

it in his head because he had to write all those numbers down six times that therefore he is effectively meditating them and I reckon then in the past he picked up on it so even though he didn't know he was doing that, he was picking up. He picked up on his future self, so this is literally a future buttons concept. I've confused myself now. That's because future buttons has come in and he's told, this is him talking, but now he's just gone I think and normal buttons is left behind with the remnants of future buttons information going, I'm trying to keep it going, but actually I'm lost with

it. Meanwhile, future buttons has got bored of his own talk because that's what he's like because that doesn't change and he's gone back to the future and left you fucked with his information that doesn't make sense. And all the meantime Dan's still editing it all out. None of this is going to make it anyway. I think that's why future buttons left. He went, this thing's going to make it, I'm out, I'm going and all basic buttons is left

with the remnants. That's all once I've just left with the remnants of this, it's terrible. Basic buttons. What happens to you in, okay, let's imagine the scenario you're projecting the numbers back to old you, week ago you, so that means current you in the future is a non-lottery winner. But then buttons of the past a week behind becomes a lottery winner, which means you've changed time, which means future buttons, does future buttons get wiped out?

Have you killed yourself and a week behind you? That's a really good question. No, if you win the lottery, you have to still sit down and memorize the numbers for the past version of yourself. Because time has already happened. Got it. You still have to send it back. Got it.

You win or lose, you have to send it back. Okay. Wow, what a loop, I love it. Yeah, and then this guy is proof that you don't even need to know that you're actually memorizing the numbers and sending them back to, and so when people sit there and go, the numbers just came to me. Well, it's because you're sitting there reading the numbers out as they came out, I went, oh my God.

So, before it actually happens, in the past, you're feeling like, oh man, these numbers, why are they coming to me? Because in only a week's time, you're going to be going, oh my God, these are the magic numbers, these numbers have changed my life. I just love that it's a time loop that exists in like a week period, like that's great. It's just, yeah, that's wonderful, well done. And that's the end of the edit, because cut there and delete the last three minutes. Okay, so that's the end point.

Now we carry on from here, because also we don't want the listeners knowing this, obviously the secret. Yeah, yeah, everybody will be multi-millionaires, yeah. Okay, what do we got in cryptid news moving right along? But Dan, have we done your thing you wanted to do? Yeah, that was the lottery, the lottery show, that was my thing. I've got more things. I think I actually just edited it out, I'm so sorry.

Okay, all right, well, yeah, there is some cryptid news today which is worth listening. Oh, shall we play a sting then? Yep. Ah, ah, ah! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Pochalisations. So mystery creature described as a baby Loch Ness monster. No!

December the 11th, okay. efforts to identify an animal washed up on a beach in the UK have been generating a number of intriguing suggestions online. We've certainly seen a fair few mystery creatures washed up on beaches across the world over the years, with most of these ultimately ending up being either common but misidentified sea animals or rarely seen animals that most people would be unable to recognise. The latest example here, which was photographed on a beach in the UK and posted up on Reddit by the user Huskyboy72, has been generating some heated debate on the social media in recent days. So this comes from the Metro.co.uk and I will

show you the picture of this crazy creature and it's quite a good one guys. Like that's why I've chosen this article because I do like these washed up creatures, they're always a classic. So if you have a look at this one, what do you think of that? Wow, it is like a little plesiosaur. See, look at the body on it. So for the listeners out there, but it's a little plesiosaur, isn't it? I mean, it's got a tail, it's got four, it's very flat looking, but it's got four sort of appended, basically flippers, they're not legs, tiny ones at the front, big ones at the back, and then it's got a neck and then a long, like a, it looks like a pelt because it looks like it's been skinned. You know what I mean? Like

there's no body to it. It literally is just the skin. Yeah, suggestions are that it looks like a face hugger from Alien or a deceased lip press Pokemon for the younger crew. Can you go back up, Rhys, to the full photo? They've done that classic thing of failing to put in an object to show us the side. I was just trying to work, it looks like those are boot prints though, right? Like looking the top right corner, you can see the... Yes, yeah, I would say it looks like only about a meter long. Somebody needs to put down a matchbox, as you keep saying, put down some matches. As you always say. The most convincing suggestion seems to be that it was a thornback ray, the most abundant ray in British waters

that has had its wings removed. Oh really? No. That can't be right. That's, I hope not. That's disastrous. Yeah, I see how that could be the case. Line caught wings removed, carcass left, one redditor commented. Hopefully fishermen killed before butchering. I mean, I... Oh, these rays can be fished for their wings. Okay. Well, the only thing I would say with that is that one of my pet hates, is that again journalists calling it a baby Loch Ness monster. It's on a beach in the UK. Sure it's in the UK but it's not the... You can't keep just using the term Loch Ness monster whenever you find a sea creature. No, I know. With that lazy journalism, exactly.

But actually Metro says Reddit users pile in with opinions on mysterious creature found on UK beach. But yeah, it's just that laziness of like, oh yeah, well that's what it looks like. It looks to us like a tiny, tiny Nessie. Plesiosaur. It's fine to say Plesiosaur, saltwater Plesiosaur. Yeah. I mean, if I saw that, I would 100% be taking a photo of that and freaking out about it. To be fair, if I found that, I would be taking that up and driving straight up to Loch Ness and putting it on a beach in Loch Ness. Yeah, 100%. With a little note saying goodbye, Mama. I've had enough of your celebrity. I'm going to try and make a life for myself on a beach in the UK. Yeah. But as far as the shore. And you'd have got

washed up with the note that it never quite gave, it's Mama. Still put underneath one of its paws. Oh, well that's a happy Christmas story, isn't it? That's a terrible note to end on. So let's keep going. I think it's time for a break. My last beer, guys, is the Topor Thunder. So these beers do come from Topor. And this one yet again with the Lake Man Monster motif in the front. It's a pale ale. And I'm not advertising these, but this one is really awesome. It's New Zealand's pale ale paying homage to our home. It is brewed with iconic Kiwi hops. Oh my gosh, it's got bursts of passion fruit and citrus. I'm really looking forward to this one. Here's the sound everyone's listening for. Yeah, yeah. Do I

still have my edit? Can I? Can I pull my edit on this? It's just making me thirsty. That's a good beer. Well, it's a good beer now until next week when they don't contact you and you have to tell everybody it's a bad beer. Yeah, I'll give them a couple of weeks. It's a holidays now. I'll give them till the end of Jan. That's how generous I am. If I hear nothing, I will not be drinking these beers again. And that's that's how I roll. I told you guys. Yes, pay it forward. Endorsement system of Israel. It's quite confusing, but it's very good. A lot of companies are like, dude, you've given up on honestly, that's all we needed was this massive ad from you. We have we have boosted ourselves for the entire year. We don't need to send you

anything. We're done. We're actually through the roof. A lot of us have taken a vacation to the Sierra Mountains. We've got no product left to actually advertise for. We can't make anymore. We've sold the company. We're all millionaires now. Thanks for everything. I'm just worried that you're going to accidentally endorse something that you genuinely use like your car. And then when you don't hear back from them, you're going to be like, sorry, Rosie, got to get rid of the car. We got no word from them. What? Why? I mentioned it mentioned on the pod. No response. Elon hasn't called. I've been waiting by my side. It's my stupid preemptive advertising system that I've come up with, Rosie. And unfortunately, I've now talked about a lot of things in the

house. We're going to have to get rid of them. I can't drink anything. I've talked about every food type, every type of product that nobody's mentioned me back. So I can't eat now. I'm dying here, but it's what they deserve. I thought I would have heard back from the Carrot Farmers Association of all things. That was a great episode talking about carrots. Nothing, nothing. Now, here's the fun thing you can do with the box. Okay. Oh yeah. Check this out. That's pretty amazing. So for again, those that can't see what we're doing, basically, most of everybody, apart from the Patreon, Crypto Knights, Reese is holding the empty box up to his face where there is a mask, largely probably for little kids. And he's holding it up to his face to look like

the Lake Man monster. Ah, the Crypted Factor. You think you've got your hands on the Crypted Factor, but I do. Me and my minions. You'll never defeat us. Sasquatch Gloss. Sasquatch Gloss. Oh, no. It's the sci-fi robot rangers and future buttons. Ah, no. You got me. Ah, you got me. He's gone. He's dead. You know, I suddenly just realized that whole story about the Crypted Factor. Basically, the artwork that my brother generated is the artwork of the movie poster of that story that the AI then generated. It's like, it's too uncanny that it's like we got the movie poster before we even got the script. That's how AI is working now. It's crazy. It's amazing. Or AI's only got one idea and it's just milk in it. Anyway, I've got a wee little bit of Crypted News

that's been sent in by a new listener, a new member, a guy, Jason, Jason Wob-Addict. I don't know if Addict, Wob-Addict. Jason Wob-Addict. Anyway, he's sent in- Say it a few more times. Wob-Addict. Jason Wob-Addict. Do you try and figure it out? I don't know. Jason, I'm so sorry. He should have just used your first name. Jason sent this in. And it is, I've got a little video to show you here. The headline, dog walking horror, demon-like figure crosses path, chilling sight caught on camera. So a dog walking couple said they bumped into something pretty terrifying, a creepy looking figure crossing right in front of them in the dark. And although they caught it on camera, they have no idea what this thing is. Hannah and Dave Rowett were strolling along with

their pups along Klumba Park and Nottinghamshire in England when they bumped into a shadowy figure. Wait, what? A shadowy figure? Oh, shadowy figures. They were lurking against us in the movie. Are you ready? Do you want to see it? Yeah. Here we go. Did you see that? Yeah. It's almost like a ghost dog or something running across. You see that there? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And then it's gone, disappears. Well, it's just gone off camera. Well, yeah, but how quick it's gone. Look at that. See, gone. But why is the camera, why is he not following it? Maybe he didn't notice at the time. No, he did because he tried to shine his torch on it. You look, he moves his torch and goes, what, what was that? He moves his torch. Oh, okay, right. I see. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'd like to

think it's a demon like they suggested because that sounds good. And he says Dave refers himself as a skeptic of ghosts. Oh, good on him. But he says the encounter has made him a believer because apparently Klumba Park is supposed to be haunted by a spirit called Gray Lady known as a woman in a long coat, often described as a demon crawling on her long limbs, which lines up pretty well with this thing that's on this wee video. So have they caught a cryptid? Have they caught a ghost? Or is it just a big hoax? Oh, yeah, you can see if she wasn't using her legs and just moving with her arms, just crawling with the arms only. Yeah. So there you go. That's intriguing. Yeah, I don't know if it fits in cryptid buzz or if it fits in bullshit ghost,

but it is. Nonetheless, it's there to be seen by all. That is quite chilling. And if real, just another notch on the bed post of strange phenomena. I've got to say, these bears are quite strong. I think I'm on the third one and I've really made a mistake having these. Five point seven. How many notches are on your bed post? Strange phenomena. Right, go to bed now. Just hoping into the bed of strange phenomena. I have notches on my bed post, guys. And a lot of, like when the wife comes in, Rosie says, well, why have you got those? Are they scores? And I say, no, these are strange phenomena. There's a strange phenomena list on the bed post. She's like, why, why you got those on your bed

post? It's a strange, normally that's where some like student from the nineties would be like notching off like, you know, scores. I'm like, no, strange phenomena on the bed post. I see it when I go to bed. Well, that's another one. What, what just happened? Rosie's just read a story on Google. Well, I've got a, my story actually fits into, I think we've moved segments now to Bullshit Ghost. You know, I saw a couple of Bullshit Ghost stories and I thought I'm not doing those, but now that it's a new segment, I kind of wished I pulled them in.

Oh, yeah. It's a Christmas special. So Stormy Daniels, if you all remember, who was the porn star who was tied in with Donald Trump, she left the porn industry and she became a paranormal investigator. That's her new world. As you do. Well, she's definitely got a few hitches on the bed post. It turns out they were all just strange phenomena stories that she's been collecting all these years. So I thought this was a cryptid story because it said that she was being haunted by a very dark non-human thing with tentacles. And it turns out that actually she thinks it's a ghost-like thing. She was on a podcast called Ghost Magnet and she was talking about the fact

that there was definitely one very, very dark non-human thing and it had these tentacles. And that's what I called on camera. So she says she has on camera, it shattered my ex's guitar, which it just sounds like a good excuse for when you've shattered someone's guitar and don't want to admit it. And it just snapped in half one day while it was sitting on the stand. It did not like him at all. And so she said the haunting started when she moved into a 200-year-old home in New Orleans in 2019. And there's lots of different entities that have come in the house. One is a woman who's lost a child and blames herself that she would hear crying if she stood in a certain spot in the kitchen.

And then there was the tentacle monster as well. Anyway, I thought that was going to be a cryptid. Turns out it's a Bullshit Ghost story. And quite exciting to know that Story Daniels is now a paranormal investigator. That's pretty cool. Well, that's news. Can you see what's happening now? Bullshit Ghost stories are trying to give themselves a little bit of a cryptid kind of spin to try and get on their show. They're trying to go the same with my one. It starts off saying it's a demon. Turns out it's a ghost. That's terrible. They're trying to sneak their way into the cryptid realm because it's more interesting and more believable. Exactly. So it's been a hell of a very fast episode. Yeah. You say that, but I think we've been going for

at least an hour and a half, hour 40, hour 40. Well, there you go. Well, it took us 40 minutes for me to get my recording situation sorted out and face planting trees. Yeah, that's true. The first 40 minutes for those that have only listened to the podcast and haven't seen the cryptid night visuals was Buttons falling over himself outside, trying to find the internet, crashing into the neighbor's house, having ice packs put on his head and generally just being more chaotic than anyone could be at this time of year. And that's Christmas. So that's saying something. Well, that's it for this year. I can't believe we got one more in. So I'm so thankful for us being able to be together one more time. We

saved the world, obviously. And at the end of the day, we hope you've had a fantastic year and all the best for 2023, where we will, of course, return with a better plan, more segments and more regularity, hopefully, because let's face it, I'm out of a job now. So I'll be available. And I can't wait to spin some more mystic cryptic mirth with all of you. Love you all. Happy Christmas. Merry happy holidays. And other things as well. God bless. Fuck, I've got to say, these beers are top notch. I mean, is that 5.7? 5.7. That was the best exit monologue of 2022 goes to Rhys Dummy. Oh, shit. Oh, oh, oh, oh. I'll catch you next time. Buttons. Damn, and you too. Sexy arm.

Sexy arm. Sexy arm. Love you all and see you all in the new year. Yeah. Well, actually, I'll tell you what, we won't. You won't, actually. I'm moving on. We'll see you, I'm going into the future to go meet some really lovely people and some really lovely conversations. Bye, everyone. Bye. Music Remember, because it's coming in.