The Daily Beast Podcast - The Orange Lives Matter Coup Won’t End This Trumpist Chaos

Episode Date: January 7, 2021

After inciting a mob of his drooling followers to sack the Capitol, President Donald Trump proved he’s too dangerous to hold office, even if it’s just for another two weeks. But don’t count on his cabinet to do the right thing, not even after the first attack on the Capitol since 1814. “These people are gutless, spineless, chicken-shit, horrifying, boot-lick traitor scum,” Rick Wilson says on The New Abnormal. “Even if Donald Trump had his finger on the trigger and was saying, I'm going to nuke Peoria,’ … these people would not pursue the 25th amendment. Everyone's just fooling themselves.”  This was a day that was stupid and pointless as it was dangerous. A day for a thousand self-owns. Molly Jong-Fast wonders why these people are protesting the electoral college when “the greatest irony here is the electoral college is the only thing that gets Republicans in office. And yet they're coming out against it, right? I mean, we'll go to a popular vote. Let's go, bitches!” The crew muses about what would have happened if Mitt Romney had gotten his hands on Ted “Fat Wolverine” Cruz today after shouting at him across the rotunda. Does the shirtless, horned “Q-Shaman” supply Q-Anon with psychedelics that explain why they believe the wacky things they do? How does one wax Roger Stone’s Richard Nixon back tattoo? Is Mike Pence planning on starting his own gang of “Prude Boys” with his new-found free time? And what exactly were those Trumpist morons really trying to accomplish? All of this on this special bonus episode of The New Abnormal. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Well, folks, welcome to a special edition of the Daily Beast, The New Abnormal. Molly and I are recording this on the Evening of the Great Insurrection, the evening of the first attack on the U.S. Capitol since 1814, during the War of 1812, when the British invaded Washington and burned our capital. And didn't they burn the White House? Yes, that too. These people were much less well-dressed, but just as intent on causing chaos, havoc, and fuckery, everyone's been going to have been talking about this all day.

There will be a million stories written about it. I just want to lead off the show tonight with a couple of quick observations that this is all Donald Trump's fault. It's also all Donald Trump's fault. And also fucking Trump, it's all your fucking fault. This man went out on the mall today and incited a group of protesters and rioters and insurrectionists who stormed the United States Capitol. They took over the U.S. Capitol building today. They vandalized it. They threatened people.

They threatened their lives of people. They took selfies. That of having one of their own shot under circumstances. We don't know the whole story yet. Right. They took selfies with the Capitol Police, which is a new law enforcement tactic I'm not aware of. But folks, I don't mean to sound flippant about this. This was an unbelievably serious moment in our society, in our nation's history.

It is not over. And this is one more example why this president not only should never have held office, but should literally be removed from office today. Do you think it's going to happen? No. No. Do you know why? Why? Because the total testicular diameter, sorry ladies, of the entire Trump cabinet, all of whom you would have to get the majority of the Trump cabinet,

their entire testicular heft and diameter is roughly the size of a BB. These people are gutless, spineless, chicken shit, horrifying, boot lick, trader's scum. They could not bring themselves. Even if Donald Trump had his finger on the trigger and was saying, I'm going to nuke Peoria. You have truck drastically, we'll get my family out in time or whoever the fuck was my. But these people will not pursue the 25th Amendment. Everyone is fooling themselves if they think it's going to happen. Pence is not going to do jack shit.

You know, he's trying to skate up the middle right now. I will say that the insurrection is all Donald Trump's fault. Right. This attempted seizure of our seat of last. legislative governance is Donald Trump's fault. Yes. But there were people who physically opened the gates, the Capitol Police, a matter we will discuss at some length, I'm sure, at a later time, but who metaphorically opened those gates.

And those are people like Ted Cruz and Marsha Black and Josh Hawley and John, and John Kennedy of Louisiana, and Ron Johnson of Wisconsin, and on and on, 140 members of the fucking House of Representatives, Jim George. Ted Cruz. I mentioned fat warring earlier in my ramp there. And I also think that we really saw today a lot of, you know, the morning started with Josh Holly, you know, offering a clench fist to the protesters. Let me say a thing about Josh Holly. I already held Josh Holly in a kind of vaguely amused contempt before this because I looked at Josh Holly as one more of these guys who's a creature of his consultants.

who's been told, you have to be cool and young. And you also have to be stern and constitutional. You have to be edgy and funny. You have to all that shit right out the window. This guy is one of these little pissant Leninist revolutionary types. He is well-educated and well-groomed and well-dressed. But is he really a Leninist or is he really just whatever he thinks will get him to be president in 2020? What do you think Lenin was?

Right. He was a guy who had. He was a guy who had the pure acquisition of power and the execution of control. Marxism, Leninism was just decoration to maintain control. So this is a guy who comes from that branch of the shitty fucking tree of governance. And he, as the leader of this fight, until Ted Cruz tried to bogart it from him, he was one of the people, beloved of the Magi, who was inspiring this. And it is only, by the way, by the grace of God, that a smart Senate aide,

they had to clear the chamber in a matter of seconds today, grabbed the paperwork for all the electoral college certifications. Because they wanted to burn it, right? Yeah. These people would have, these people would have, look. But don't you think the greatest irony here is the electoral college is the only thing that gets Republicans in office? And yet, they're coming out against it, right? I mean, we'll go to a popular vote.

Let's go, bitch. I mean, I have, I have, I have, we've had this conversation before. it is non-trivial to try to get rid of the Electoral College. It is a constitutional situation that you have to overcome. I will say this, however, when Texas goes blue, all those Republicans are going to be like, well, the Electoral College is obviously a holdover from a bygone era. We need to reassess how we do it. And double count people with a Fox online subscription.

They'll figure something out. But look, we are right now in a, we are right now in a point where mob violence, has come to our capital. Right. And it's also the first time we haven't had a peaceful transfer of power. Right. Correct. You know, there's a story that when George III was asked about George Washington, after he had been reelected as president, George the third said, you know, what will Washington do at the end of his second term? He will obviously do it again, right?

And they said, no, he has told everyone. He has no plans, no intention of retaining power. he is going to, you know, go back to Mount Vernon. And King George III said, well, you know, this is obviously he would be the greatest man in all history. And because no one ever gives up power voluntarily. And that was for 240 plus years, the magic of the American system where we had a peaceful transition of power, where no matter what your ideological differences were, you shook hands, you passed on the knowledge you had gained to your, to your successor, and out the door. And again, you know, look, George W.B. Bush. Right. He came out today.

You know, we, you know, he did, he did come out. It was a very strong statement, by the way, considering that his philosophy as a former president, which is also, you know, was also the sort of traditional philosophy of former presidents, was to stay the hell out of politics. Yeah. That was a pretty strong statement. He used the word insurrection. Yeah. What did you think of that? Were you involved in that? He used the word insurrection, which I thought was striking. You'll notice it Relson did not answer that question. Continue.

A striking and powerful. I have nothing for you on that. I enjoy when famous people refuse to answer a question, pretending they didn't hear it. Well, I'm not famous, so there's that. Anyway. But look, his decision to do that was telling the fact that you have such notable people as Ted Cruz and Josh Hawley and Jim Jordan and Paul Gossar and Kevin McCarthy and Devin Nunez on one side of the equation. and every other fucking human being who's smart on the other. My favorite thing today, and I really hope I someday see some video of it,

was apparently when the chamber had to be cleared and the rioters had arrived, Mitt Romney apparently looked across the chamber and yelled at Ted Cruz, this is what you got. Wow. Oh, my God, really? Yeah, I heard that today. I heard that today, and I'm like, please God, let me video. I would love, I really want to see Mitt Romney, like, you know, fight Ted Cruz.

Well, let me tell you, Romney maybe. Romney, Romney maybe. I don't know if we want to see that with how much weight he's put on. No, I know. Well, I feel like Mitt could really. Robby's got reach and speed. Romney's got reach and speed and he's got, he's got lung capacity. Yeah.

He would be panting in about 30 seconds. And Romney would just like broke up. No, my money's on Mitt. Oh, my money's on Mitt for sure. By the way. That's 20 years. But he's still got it. He still got, he still got him.

You saw that Mitt was harassed on a commercial. flight last night, too. Welcome to Maga World. Right? In which Matt Greenfield and I had a long conversation about why Mitt Romney is flying commercial, but... Well, let's not forget that he was flying commercial when he got in that fight with the guy from LMFAO that one time. That's right.

Poor Mitt. Mitt needs to be like going in cars, but don't put the dog on the roof rack. Anyway, continue. Oh, God. Sorry. So, yes, it was, but it was also democracy crushing. This was an attempt. by the president and his allies to subvert a legitimate election.

We shouldn't even debate about what it is. It is not a debatable matter. This is a president who actively encouraged, positively encouraged, the storming of the United States Capitol by armed insurrectionists. I noticed today they were putting up a cross on the southwest face of the capital today. They erected an enormous cross, which is, you know, their First Amendment right to do so. Right. Look, this is a country that is being stress tested.

Right. This is a country that is being pushed as hard as we can't, as hard as it can be, that is being dragged to an edge that is difficult to return from, that is being, that is putting us into political and moral peril in ways that hasn't sunk in for most folks yet. Will they certify tonight? Yeah, they're going to, they're going to certify tonight is what I have been told. I don't know for certain if that's going to be logistically possible because everybody's going to want to take their dick out and swing it around about a speech about what happened today. Right. And, you know, they're going to, they're going to want to all have their say. And I declare, this is horrifying. And then they're going to, then we'll have the other people who come out and say,

like Lankford just did a few minutes ago. Well, you know, fraud is very serious. And my constituents deserve the answer's plot. But since you tried to come in here and kill us today, I'll go ahead and let you have a pass. People were hiding in their offices. Yeah, people were locked into their, into their offices and their hidey holes. I spoke to a Senate staffer today who was in their boss's hideaway room. I said, so I don't think I've ever been in that particular hideaway. And this person said to me, well, it's like down a corridor, around a corner, like behind some file cabinet.

It's practically like a secret room. I'm like, well, you guys should stay there. You got snacks? Were they scared? Yeah, they were scared. They were scared. Because look, there were thousands of these people out there. It was a coordinated effort.

It was a planned effort. There were maps that people had to find Pelosi's office, for instance. Right. Well, they clearly Pelosi was a target. I don't think so. I think the Senate was actually the target. I think the Senate was the target. I think the idea that you ended up with these people

in, you know, sitting in the speaker's private office in her chair, stealing her mail for fuck's sake. Come on, grow up. Yeah. Well, he left a quarter. And people in the, you know, people in the capital and sitting in the, you know, at the dais with their feet on the table practically. You know, I'm not being some like delicate, nervous Nancy like, oh, that's such impropriety. Oh, it's horrible. No, it's. It's motherfuckers with Confederate flags and pipe bombs in our capitals.

Well, and there were two pipe bombs, right? There were two found so far, but I think we have to talk about something else, though, Molly. Something very important. I want to talk about the guy wearing the giant Viking helmet. Can we talk about him from him? The Q Shaman? Yes. If you haven't seen this, there's a guy today.

Can we put the photo in our show notes, which no one can ever find, which may not exist? I'm going to confess something to the new abnormal audience. I have never found the show notes. I don't think there. Okay, I can clear this up. When The Daily Beast tweets out an article, that is the show notes. And that's where we put things. Okay.

I didn't think anyone even knew. I didn't think there were shown up. So that guy, I would just like to describe him for a minute. He's not wearing a shirt. He's covered in tattoos. Indeed. He has a sort of beaver-tailed cap on, but with beaver-tails on both sides. He was carrying a bullhorn and wearing a pair of pants, but not really wearing them.

Yeah, I think he was more pants adjacent. I read today that allegedly he's known as the Q Shab, not just for his dress, but also for the fact that he likes to hand out the psychedelic drugs at the QAnon things, which explains a lot. I think that says a lot. I mean, that says an awful lot. The other thing I really to talk about with this whole thing today is the organizers of the Stop the Steel Rally. I'm just curious why Ali Alexander, formerly that's Ali Akbar. Who is he? Well, he's a guy who was a, he's got a criminal record down in Texas for like check fraud and credit card fraud.

It sounds very crumpy. He's reinvented himself several times first as Mr. constitutional tea party Republican and then as. Of course. Then as hardcore trumper and now as Roger Stone wingman person of, you know, person of wing. to Roger Stone. Because, you know, there's nothing that says, I'm looking to up my status in society, like being a, I can't say, I can't say,

I can't say, I? If you're worried about it, then that's a sign. Right, I'm worried about it. To be one of Roger Stone's backwaxers. Yes, that's makes. Is that technically a Nixon tattoo polisher? I believe he may be in, I think he may have shaved the Nixon tattoo

periodically. I should not have brought that up. Earlier tonight, I tweeted out that Steve Bannon was in his pudding tub tweaking his nipples and instead of over the coup. So what we didn't get discussed on Monday's episode was that letter signed by all the Secretary of Defense's warning Trump to not use the

military. Including those notable far left extremist, Dick Cheney and Jim Mattis. Yeah. So do we think this is the last gasp of this, or is there still another ramp to go up on the roller coaster before he leaves office in two weeks? Oh, I think, I think we've still got a bunch more ups on the roller coaster to go. Is it another two weeks exactly? Yes, it is another two weeks exactly. Look, I think he's going to do everything he can in the next two weeks to continue this bullshit. I think he is going to try

over and over again to reset the clock, to buy another day. And there's one thing you can't buy. You can't buy another day. There's no more time left. Right. This is true. You know, Mike Pence tonight went out on the podium and said, you did not win. Blah, bra, bra, bra.

All I could think it was, man, Trump's tweet is going to be vicious. And then I realized that for the next 12 hours, Jack from Twitter has stuffed a ball gag in Trump's mouth. And he's not going to create a goddamn word on Twitter. I think Mike Pence should go like buck wild on Twitter, except that Mike. Mike's actually incapable of tweeting, I think. I think he has to Twitter. I don't think he's allowed to tweet without mother's permission. She has to be in the room.

Probably not. You know, he is, of course, the leader of a secondary radical group called the Prude Boys. That's a prude boys. On that note, we'll wrap up this episode of the new abnormal from the Daily Beast. In future episodes, we'll be talking with smart folks from the Daily Beast and beyond from media, culture, politics, and science. who will help us understand what's happening to our country and the world. We hope you'll subscribe to us on your favorite podcast app and share the show on social media.

We're just getting started and don't want you to miss an episode. If you'd like to follow us on Twitter, I'm Molly Jongfest and he's the Rick Wilson. Thanks so much for listening and we'll see you again on the next episode. Want more great listens? Check out our comedy podcast, The Last Laugh, and our star-studded The Daily Beast podcast at thedailybeast.com slash podcasts. If you enjoyed this episode, consider becoming a Daily Beast subscriber. Subscribing is the best way to feed the beast and support all of your podcasts as we cover what might become the darkest timeline. Head to the DailyBeast.com slash membership slash podcast and sign up today.