The Daily Show: Ears Edition - $1.8 Billion Slush Fund Has J6ers Playing Victim & Trump Creeps on Coast Guard Grad | “Weird Al” Yankovic

Episode Date: May 22, 2026

Trump's $1.8 billion slush fund for his allies is here, and the line is already forming: the Proud Boys, the MyPillow guy, George Santos, and even the lectern guy! The Department of Justice insists $1.8 billion is an appropriate amount for the fund, and Ronny Chieng does the math to figure out how much money each eligible American will get. Plus, Trump couldn't stop gawking at hot, muscular men at the Coast Guard Academy graduation ceremony, and the president broke the news that he'll probably be a little too busy to attend Don Jr.'s wedding. American history is complicated, filled with milestones eroded by backlash and triumphs marred by moral failure. But there's still one moment in this nation's 250-year history that brings all of us together: the 1992 Olympic Basketball Dream Team! Boom-shaka-laka! “Weird Al” Yankovic, Grammy and Emmy-award winning comedy music legend, talks to Ronny before heading out on his “Bigger and Weirder 2026” tour. The two look back on Yankovic’s decades-spanning career, from learning the accordion at his parents behest, to becoming the biggest-selling comedy recording artist in history with a discography that functions as a time capsule of pop culture. He also discusses his songwriting process for parodies and pastiches of musical style, why he likes to get permission before parodying an artist’s song, the challenges of parodying in 2026, and his personal quest to make polka sexy again. -- The Daily Show airs weeknights at 11/10c on Comedy Central. Stream full episodes on Paramount+ Follow TDS: YouTube, TikTok, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You're listening to Comedy Central. From the most trusted journalists at Comedy Central, it's America's only source for news. This is The Daily Show with your host, Ronnie. I'm Ronnie Chang. We got so much to talk about tonight. Donald Trump makes crime pay. We look back at America's One Good Day,

and Trump honors the class of 2026 with an inspiring message of horniness. And later on, the legendary, Weird Al-Yancovic. We'll be here. First off, it's graduation season, and I'd just like to take a moment to shout out all the graduates watching. Welcome to the real world. It sucks.

But yesterday, Trump gave the commencement speech at the Coast Guard Academy, and he had a different message for graduates. And that message was Daddy Likey. We also have the only cadet who earned a perfect score on every single fitness. Wow, this guy must be something.

I think we'll have to invite him up. I want to check it out. Thomas, get up here, please. I want to see. I want to check him out. Whoa. Look at this guy. Look at the muscles in this guy.

Thank you, man. Just hit him on the shoulder. I hurt my hand. It's like hitting a rock. Well, we wanted Trump to stop harassing women, and I guess he found a loophole. I mean, seriously, is Trump a college sophomore? Because if you've been paying any

attention recently. It looks like he's been discovering something about himself. You are a handsome devil. He's a good, good-looking guy. Now, if you rip off the jacket, you'll see the muscles are serious. Boy, oh boy, these are good-looking guys. Look at the arms on him. I'll give you a heart of you. It looks so good. We're too good-looking fair fighting. See, I consider all those guys back there with the big muscles, and it's not my thing, but I consider They're really beautiful to me. He's so strong. He's those muscles of, yeah.

Okay, I'm just gonna say it. The president needs to f*** a dude, all right? Like, just go for it, Mr. President. I'm not even saying you're gay. It just seems like something you need to get out of your system, you know, like as a novelty thing. And don't worry about what your supporters will think. You'll be fine.

Your base will love it and your shaft. But Trump isn't just doing commencement. He's got a very busy weekend, ahead of him, maybe too busy. Are you having your son's wedding this weekend, by the way? Uh, he'd like me to go. I'm going to try and make it. I'm in the midst.

I said, you know, this is not good timing for me. I have a thing called Iran and other things. Oh, and now I get why he started the war of Iran to get out John Jr.'s wedding. You should have just told us that. We don't understand. Even the Ayatollah's like, I get it. But to be fair, I also wouldn't want to go to Don Jr.'s wedding

if I was too old to want to do cocaine, right? And besides, this is Don Jr.'s third fiancé. Trump's probably, like, if I miss this wedding, I'll just catch the next one. So fake news media, stop trying to get him with these gotcha questions, like, are you going to attend your son's wedding? The man's got important news about what's going on in Iran, and I want to pay attention. We have total control of the strait of our moves, as you know. with our blockade.

The blockade's been 100% effective. Nobody's been able to get a place like to steal a wall. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I cannot pay attention. I don't want to tell the White House how to do that job, but is it possible that when the president is speaking in the Oval Office, we don't have a giant protruding belly button five inches from his face? I can't believe I'm saying this.

but this is beneath the dignity of the office, and it's a low bar. Like, can you at least blur it or something? Like, I know it's technically not indecent, but it's making me very uncomfortable. I mean, a tie would solve this, or maybe a sweater, or like, 19 sweaters. Wait, wait, hang on a second.

Let me try something here. Oh, shit, it's coming right at me. All right. Okay, but let's move on. to something even more gross and harder to ignore, the Trump administration's corruption. This week we learned about the new $1.8 billion slush fund for Trump allies

who have supposedly been targeted by the government. And now we're finding out who's lining up at that MAGA slot machine. Proud Boy's leader, Enrique Tario, said he plans on applying for a payout. My Pillow CEO, Mike Lindell, says he also is planning to file a claim. Former Congressman George Santos

and ex-Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich. Maybe Peter Navarro, maybe Steve Ben. Adam Johnson, known better as the lectern guy, says he will submit his claim as soon as this week. Wow, that list is a real who's who of, oh, yeah, that fucking weirdo. All our favorite characters are back.

It's like the final episode of Seinfeld, except this time the soup nazi is just an actual Nazi. But the money is not going to just big-name losers. Some of it is going to losers you've never even heard of. Brandon Fellows was sentenced on felony and misdemeanor charges, for entering the capital on January 6. Seen here in a red beard costume. So the number I've put in is $30 million.

Yeah. $30 million for wearing a mop on your face to Gen 6? How did you arrive at that very reasonable number? According to Chat, CPT and GROC, I'm in at least the 3% to 5% upper tier for how terrible and also how strong the case I have. Oh, okay. Grock told you that.

I see. It's the AI that's banned from coming within 500 feet of a school, and it's giving you legal advice. All right. Well, open and shut case for me. Anybody else have a claim from January 6th? Rachel Powell, a mom of Ace and a grandmother, two-Ase, spent three years under house arrest.

Okay, three years of house arrest with eight kids and eight grandkids. I don't care what you did. That's cruel and unusual punishment. I mean, look at her. Look at this sweet lady. Look at she's like rolling some dough. What was her crime? Did she bring unauthorized muffins into the Capitol? I want to hear her side.

A lot of people don't agree with what happened on January 6th. But when you step back and you look at somebody like me, for example, my major felony had to be struck down by the Supreme Court. It's my crime that day of breaking a window. technically that's a misdemeanor charge. Yes. When I see this woman trying to break into the Capitol with a battering ram like an orc in the law of the rings,

I think that's someone who deserves a payout. She was just in the wrong place at a wrong time with the wrong battering ram breaking the wrong window. It could happen to any of us. And I like how she's trying to pretend the window she broke was just some random window. Like you're removing some pretty window. important context, ma'am.

It's like John Wilkes Booth saying, oh, so what, I'm getting a firing squad just because I interrupted a play? America's cooked, man. Is there any voice of reason who will call out how wrong this is? Like any normal, not crazy person? One person, though, who says he won't file a claim

is Jacob Chansley, the so-called QAnon Shaman. He called the fun, quote, blood money. Okay, I guess even a broken. brain is right twice a day? I mean, seriously, imagine if on Jan 6, I ask you to guess, who will be the voice of reason on

this? Would you have said, uh, the guy dressed like a stripper who's also a buffalo? But I guess this is a lesson to the rest of us, that we shouldn't judge a book by its cover. Maybe the QAnon Shaman isn't as delusional as we thought. Jacob Chancellor, aka the Q&M shaman, told CNN that he isn't going to participate in the fund because he's still suing the government

for $40 trillion dollars. No. That's the last time I trust a shirtless man in a raccoon hat. But if you're that angry that your taxpayer money is going to go to people who did Gen 6, let me reassure you. A ton more people are going to get your money too. In a memo released today, the DOJ said $1.8 billion was an appropriate amount for the fund, quote, given that literally tens of millions of Americans could be eligible for payments.

Okay, hang on a second. So tens of millions of people means at least 20 million people, right? Because it's tens of millions. It's not 10 million. So at minimum, it's 20 million people. So divide $1.8 billion by $20 million. And that's like 90 bucks a person. That's not going to help these people.

That's barely two bags of crystal meth. I'm telling you, when these people find out how little they're getting, they're going to be so pissed at the government. and you know what happens when they get pissed at the government. The cycle continues. It's a... I guess it's an infinite money glitch, but as it stands now,

the people who did Gen 6 could make a life-changing amount of money. And already, there are companies out there looking to help them manage their assets. Wealth management can be as complicated as breaking the lock on Nancy Pelosi's office store. But here at J6 Financial, we understand the challenges that newly rich capital rioters

from taxes and alimony to Mara Lago membership dues and Kid Rock tickets. We'll make sure your money lasts well into the fifth Trump term, and we're here to answer any of your questions. Can my slush fund pay for the child molestation charges I'm facing? We get that question a lot. Like a lot, a lot. And the answer is yes. What about my retirement?

We can help Jan Sixers build toward all their retirement goals, whether that's Don in a shootout with the cops, being blackmailed by an only-fants model, or overdosing on a supplement you heard about on a podcast. So call us today. And no matter how much you've saved or what frightening number of guns you have hoarded in your home, we'll manage your money. Wait, money management. How do I know you're not just a bunch of Jews? J6 Financial. The only capital we'll keep safe is yours. 150th year birthday is right around the corner, and President Trump is celebrating it

with a ballroom, a reflecting pool, and an arch. All stuff that was not on our Amazon wish list. America asked for health care. God damn it. We send you a link and everything. Now technically, Trump is not really allowed to build most of these things, but when has that ever stopped him? The Washington Post is now reporting

that the Trump administration is planning on building the arch without Congress's approval. The administration argues that it doesn't need Congress's approval because lawmakers, a century ago, authorized a somewhat similar project that was never built. Man, I just can't figure this administration out. They're not looking for congressional approval for a war with Iran, but they have lawyers going through all the old laws doing a control F for the word arch.

How did they find this? I mean, but Trump isn't the only one commemorating America's birthday. We here at the Daily Show are celebrating as well, and there are so many great moments in history to look back on. Although when you think about it, maybe not as many as you, you think. America's history is complicated. Our once proudest moments, now problematic,

our triumphs morally gray, milestones eroded by backlash. Our beloved heroes are now gross. But there's still one moment in American history that brings us all together. The 1992 Olympic Basketball Dream King, Bang! The most incredible basketball players ever assembled.

And also Christian Leitner. It's literally the last thing all Americans can look at and just say, That was awesome! Boom, Shakalaka! Americans must forever reckon with stealing the lands of indigenous people. But we'll never have to apologize for Barclay, stealing the rock four times against Brazil. One, two, three, four, pro! Walking on the moon now just reminds us of the conspiracy theories destroying the fabric of our nation.

But how about this fabric? The big head t-shirt of the Dream Team. Man, that sure was cool. I had six of them. The end of the Cold War collapsed our political consensus. But the Dream Team collapsed everyone's defense. Mr. Gorbachev tear down this backboard. The Dream Team has no dark pass to revisit. No statues to tear down. Just absolute dominance by the greatest basketball players of all time. And Christian Leitner. Were they perfect? Was their top competition Valderamas Comichus of Lithuania?

Did some of them have a gambling problem? Did Michael Jordan's son end up dating Scotty Pippen's ex-wife? Which sounds even weirder when you realize she must have known him as a baby? Well, shut the fuck up. Okay? Don't take this from us, too. Just enjoy this American exceptionalism. So, happy birthday, America.

Thanks for the Dream Team. The one thing we all agree, we can be proud of. And Christian Layton. We join me on the show so don't go away. A Grammy and Emmy Award-winning musician, who's the biggest selling comedy recording artists in history. He's hitting a road again very soon for his bigger and weirder tour of 2026. Please welcome.

Weird Al-Yat! Just give you a standing ovation for the whole interview, because you're a legend. Thanks for coming on the show. It's so great a meal. My pleasure. Good to see you. You're one of the guys who, man, people, you know,

like there's like five generations of people who love you. I think they all came here for you tonight. Thanks for coming on. I mean, you know, and you're one of the few guys I can ask this, because you've been around for so long now. So long. So long. You have seen, like, entirely different, like, multiverses from the end.

80s to 2026, it's like every decade was almost like a different timeline. Yeah. You know, I actually started in the 70s because my first single, My Bologna, came out December 79. So six decades, actually. Six decades, yeah. What format was that on? Well, originally I was recording in the bathroom. So, you know, my recording technique got a little better over the years.

It was on top of the, yeah, yeah, yeah. But, yeah, so, I mean, can you help us make sense? So can you give us any perspective on this? like for 80s to 90s to the 2000s to now like... Well, for me, you know, I based a lot of my work on what pop culture is. And I talk about this a lot in interviews, but back in the 80s and 90s, there was more of a monoculture because, you know, if something was in hot rotation and MTV, everybody knew that song.

Top 40 radio is more of a thing where people were really focused on what the hits were. And now everybody's into their own, like, sub-genres and their niche, you know, musical taste, which is great. It's nice to have music on demand. it's a little bit harder to define who the superstars are, what the huge hits are. Right. So even you have found it difficult to parody

what the hell's happening in 2026. It's a little bit difficult, yeah. So how do you approach it? I mean, have you tried to, have you looked at the top 100 and tried to figure it out? Have you just given up on this, like, I'm just... Well, you'll notice I haven't put out an album for 12 years. That's one, clue.

So that's the mark of when society starts to disintegrate. Yes. I give up. Yeah. When weird, I'll get it. No, I'm actually more focused on other things, because I had a record deal that I signed in 1982, which last, I fulfilled it in just 32 short years.

And after I finished the record deal, I was like, okay, I'm just gonna take on to take a break, and I'll just do other things for a while. Oh, so you're indie, you became an indie artist. I kind of am, yeah. And I mean, people don't know the, maybe, probably they do know, the full extent of what you do. I mean, you do parodies, you do pastitious,

which is where you kind of make fun of a genre of the genre, music. Right. So it's not their original songs. I get full song writing credit but they're inspired by other artists. They're sound-like style parodies as well were, so I take an artist that I really like that has a very unique

style like Frank Zappa or Brian Wilson or Beach Boys Taylor Swift even. Yeah, that kind of thing and just study their whole oeuvre and figure out like kind of what makes them tick and then write a song in their style but make it a little bit weird I know, but that's insane.

That you're, you kind of, not just the parody stuff, which is already hilarious and musical genius, but you figure out a way to like Eddie Murphy, the... You make a... Is that a herb? I mean, I guess, yeah. It's almost like you listen to someone for... If you listen to a musician's music for like five minutes,

I feel like you could do them. Well, you know, I probably could, but I'm kind of anal in that way that I really like to study for a long period of time. Like when I did Frank Zappa, I listened to his catalog. literally for a month before I started even writing something because I wanted it to like infiltrate my brain. Right.

And I mean, I don't know. I was going to ask you which one is harder or more fun, but it sounds like the pastiche is way harder. It's way hard. It involves a lot more work. The parodies, you know, back when I first started out, I would like dash off a parody in like 20 minutes because I figured who cares, you know,

nobody's going to even listen to this thing. And now that, oh, people are listening, so I better spend some time. And the other aspect, what you do is polka. music, which is where you play the polka, you do a polka, but you insert people's music into it.

I learned a long time, well, first of all, the accordion is my main act, so when you grow up taking accordion lessons, they don't teach you lead-up, when they teach you like polka and, you know, some classical pieces. And I learned a long time ago that most rock songs just sound a little better done polka

style. So I based a lot of my career around that. And have you found any type of music that you are unable to translate into accordion poker? Gregorian chants are hard. I'm working on that. And whaling songs, those two things. But just those are.

And I mean, even the accordion is an interesting start to this whole thing. Was your parents, I guess what I read was that you were given the choice between an accordion or guitar. They give my parents that choice. Right. And your parents picked accordion. Yeah, my mother wanted me to be really. really popular in high school. That was sound logic.

Right. But it was true, right? They did pick accordion. Oh, Chick-Magnan. Absolutely. That's not even a joke. They thought the accordion was cooler. They did.

Well, you know, they're big Lawrence Welk fans. And, you know, actually, you know, the accordion was extremely popular. Like in the 50s, like Dick Contino was like a sex god. He played the accordion. And you look at his album covers. And, unironically, here's a guy with an accordion. And there's women draped on his arms and legs on the way. Oh, I love you.

your accordion. So I'm just trying to bring sexy back to the accordion. And so he'd be like shirtless of the accordion. And that was a thing. And the 50s was weird. And why do you think that didn't, why did that die?

Where do we lose the appreciation? Well, you know, I hate to diss Lawrence Wuck, but it was 100% him. Right, but that's, I think, from what I've read, that's kind of how you started on this because you were given this accordion, which is a very specific sound. Yeah.

And I guess you were trying to play the music of the time with it. That's how you kind of, that's how well all this started. Yeah, I couldn't get anybody to join my rock band when I was a kid. And, you know, I just played along with the songs on the radio. I learned how to play things by ear, and I just, you know, it just kind of

gravitated in that direction. Yeah, you just skipped over this whole thing. You're a freaking musical genius, man. You're a self-taught musician who freaking plays by ear. It's crazy. And speaking of musical genius, I mean, your live shows are spectacular. Oh, thank you. You know, and I'm not like, when you go there, the musicians on stage are amazing.

Where are you finding these guys? Well, you know, I've had the core band since the early 80s. I met my drummer on September 14th, 1980. I met him on the Dr. Demento radio show because he was the guy that happened to be in the... Dr. Amano, yeah? But I came to remember the date I met my mom. How did you remember that?

That's our anniversary, so I have to remember that. But he happened to be in the studio, and I got this new song, another one rides the bus. Does anybody want to bang on my accordion? case for percussioning. He said, I'm a drummer. Oh, you got the job. And 46 years later, he still got the job. So this band's been going around. And, you know, have you found it difficult to kind of make sense of, you know, this 2026? I feel like you, again, I hate to keep talking about how long

you've been around. But the 80s was a long time. It's so old. Like, you are before the internet, like, way before the internet. You're like, you predated internet by 20 years. That is, the longevity is truly insane. It's kind of crazy because when I first started out, nobody wanted to sign me to a record deal because they thought, oh, novelty music, right? It's like the domain of one-hit wonders. And we want, you know, artists that are going to have a career

and going to stick around for a while. So I'm sort of a novelty dinosaur. I've bucked the odds. You've bucked everybody. There's no one who's been around for this long. No one has been around this long. I guess it's just like, do you feel like, you know, when you started in the 80s, you were kind of weird Al Yankovic.

I still am. Yeah, well, I feel like the world has gotten way weirder than you now. That's true. You're almost like normal, Al now. I've been told I'm, I've been told I'm a... You're like a lot to remaining... It's kind of ironic now, you know? The world has gotten...

The least weird guy in Hollywood now. Yeah. You've hanged out long enough. And the other thing is that you've had to kind of deal with over the last, I guess, you know, 35 years maybe, is the Internet and this remixing culture. And, you know, it's kind of a given on the Internet that people, we have copyright laws, but nobody really respects it or even knows what it is. But you were always a guy who I feel was like a model, ethical collaborator. Because you would seek out the artists you were parody and ask for permission. Yeah, the internet is sort of like the Wild West, you know,

sort of people just doing things and, you know, without permission and hope they don't get caught kind of thing. Yeah, yeah. And, you know. Yeah, you were, you kind of proved that you could do it by asking for permission. Yeah, and legally, I've always said it's a great area I could get away with doing a lot of these things. But I just want to respect the artists and the songwriters and make sure they're in on the joke. And I, you know, I don't want to step on anybody's toes that way.

Why? I don't want to be involved in a drive-by. Yeah, but so, I mean, that's a... Do you feel that that's a lesson the world needs to know? Are you, like, let the kids do what they want, and it was the good old days of the 80s, and we asked for permission before we made fun of your song, and, you know... People are going to do what they're going to do.

I think when sampling became more of a thing, like, you know, rappers getting permission for samples, then people, like, kind of understood more like what I did, because when I started in the 80s, and I was asking to borrow people's music, that was a whole alien concept. Like, you're gonna do what? Right.

But now it's sort of like, oh, it's sort of like you're sampling the whole song. I get it now, yeah. Well, not only that. I think now people want you to parody them because it's almost not, it's harder to get, like a weird out parody song. It's harder to get than a granny right now.

It's like a true mark of, it's a real credit. People want the Yankevick bump. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, they do. No, they do. And you're, maybe you're too nice a guy to talk about this, but has anyone actually come up to you and been like, hey, can you, you know, maybe like someone called Duolipa, maybe?

I don't want to mention any name, but every now and that, I don't know if there might just be just being nice, but like parties will say, oh, what are you going to do one of my songs? No, they'll be nice. They want it. Okay. They want it. It's a problem.

And have you, have you, I mean, without getting to specifics, have you, have you, have someone come up to you and you've been like, I just can't do it? Have you declined them to their face? I always say, interesting? Let me think about that. So now we know that's him saying no. He's on the record with that.

Yeah, and it's a real bum. And I feel like looking through your music, it's like this cultural archive of what was relevant at the time. Like when you look at your albums, it's almost this like... It's a pop culture capsule. So if you haven't listened to pop music in three years, like, oh, just get the word owl record and you'll be all up today. Yeah, yeah, you'll be on today. Right, I mean, that's cool. That's really cool that you're the arbiter of it.

But you're also, like, a nice arbiter. You're not... I mean, I guess what I'm getting at is, like, a lot of people now are very... A lot of old-timers now. I'm looking at all these people in the crowd. These old-timers, I feel like they're very down on what's current.

We always look at the past with these rose-scented glasses, and I don't know if you can kind of speak to that, whether you agree that everything now is terrible Or, no. Certainly not. I think the kids would appreciate. I understand that. I think you kind of go for the comfort food.

Like, you know, when I just want to listen to music, now I kind of listen to the kind of music I listen to in college, you know. Because for the longest time, my job description involved me, like, studying the billboard charts and knowing exactly what was happening in music, which I enjoy doing. But now that that's less of what I'm about, I find myself gravitating chords, like, the stuff I listened to in high school, you know. Right, right.

And I guess they're saying that. There's nothing wrong with that. Let's know what you want to listen to. I mean, you know, it's, uh, music today is as good as it ever was, but you heard it. You heard it here. Without giving his time of approval. Yeah. Um, yeah, and I guess I also feel like because you're such, you're such a musical genius and you were the first guy to,

I popularize remixing things, and you remix with such love and you make things better, and you ask for permission, I was hoping that maybe you could just, you know, become the, head of AI because... Well, people assume when they see my name... Who's weird AI? It's already in the name. Yeah, might as well. I mean, if you could take over AI and just teach these computers how to...

Heart pass. I'll pass. Yeah, but... Let me think about that. Yeah. Wait out. You're the best, man. Thanks so making everyone happy for so many decades.

Your music is amazing and you're very cool and I hope you keep making it. So thank you so much for making the newsday, everybody. The tickets and tour dates. The bigger and weird of 2026 through. Go to Weird Outlaw. White House correspondent for The Daily Show. Will the president be available for one-on-ones?

He will not be available for one-on-one with the Daily Show. Could you at least ask? We can check. Make sure he knows it's Stephen Colbert, not Stephen Correll. Okay. Though I may never have won a Peabody or the respect of my peers. I'll always have my memories.

When we started off, we didn't know what we were doing. Me and Wolf Blitzer and Helen Thomas. We were just kids. I mean, just trying to learn about the news business and about our own bodies. Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by searching The Daily Show, wherever you get your podcasts.

Watch The Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central, and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount Plus. This has been a Comedy Central podcast.