The Daily Show: Ears Edition - A Look Back at Joe Biden's Journey to the Presidency

Episode Date: November 28, 2020

Trevor highlights Joe Biden's early days as a fresh-faced senator, reputation as a gaffe machine, contentious Democratic primary battle in 2020 and electoral victory over President Trump. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You're listening to Comedy Central. Finding great candidates to hire can be like trying to find a needle in a haystack. You might get a lot of resumes, but not enough candidates with the right skills or experience. But not with Zip Recruiter. Zip Recruiter finds amazing candidates for you fast. And right now you can try it for free at Zip Recruiter's smart technology identifies top talent for your roles quickly. Immediately after you post your job, zip recruiters powerful matching technology starts showing you qualified people for it, and you can use zip recruiters pre-written

invite to apply message to personally reach out to your favorite candidates and encourage them to apply sooner. Ditch the other hiring sites and let zip recruiter find what you're looking for, the needle in the haystack. thack. thack stack. the h stack. the hay st. the haystack stack. the haystack stack. the hase. th. the hase. th. tacetetetck. tacetck. tacetack. t. t. to. to. to. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to. Immediately. Immediately. Immediately. Immediately. Immediately. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. t. I. t. t. t. tip, tip, tip, tip, tip, tip, tip, tip, tip, tip, tip, tip, tip, tip. tip. tip. hiring sites and let Zip Recruiter find what you're looking for, the needle in the haystack. Four out of five employers who post on Zip Recruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. Try it for free at this exclusive web address. Zip Recruiter.com slash zip. Again that's zip recruiter.com. Sip Recruiter, the smartest way to hire. Do nice guys Really Finish Last. I'm Tim Harford, host of the Cautionary Tales podcast, and I'm exploring that very question.

Join me for my new miniseries on the Art of Fairness. From New York to Tahiti will examine villains undone by their villainy. Monstrous, self-devaring egos and accounts of the extraordinary power of decency. Listen on the IHart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to the race, but he definitely isn't new to life. Joe Biden, like most old people, wasn't always old. In fact, when he started his political career, he was the fresh face. Biden's Senate career began with him as the fifth youngest senator ever elected at 29 in 1972.

He served in the Senate for three decades. Biden's early years in the Senate saw seismic political change. The end of the Vietnam War, the impeachment of Richard Nixon. Biden never moved to Washington, choosing instead to commute home by train each night. He has a nickname of Amtrak Joe. I take this train, literally. I take it over 7,400 times since I've gotten the Senate.

People don't just love Joe Biden because he's a down-to-earth everyday man. No, people love him because he's an adorable goofball. In fact, the only thing that spends more time in Biden's mouth than those perfect teeth is his own foot. His biggest possible weakness, his reputation for verbal gaffs. As Barak says, a three-letter word, jobs. J-O-B-B-Skobb-Jobs. You cannot go to a 7-Eleven or a Dunkin' Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent. It's a fully... I'm not joking.

His mom lived in Long Island for 10 years or so. God rest her soul. And, um, although she's... Wait, your mom's still alive, God bless her soul. He said this to a politician in a wheelchair. Stand up, Chuck, let him see you. Oh, God love you.

What am I talking about? I tell you what, you're making everybody else stand up, though, pal. Thank you very, very much. I tell you what, stand up for Chuck. That's right. Let's show Chuck what he's missing. Everyone else stand up. Let's rub it in. This guy's got no hands. How about a random applause? Come on. Come on. You know what, in a weird way, I feel like these gaffs are what made Biden the perfect balance to President Obama, you know, because Obama measured every work. Like, you could feel him thinking, as he was talking. But when

Biden talks his brain just clicks, I'm feeling lucky and the first result comes out of his mouth. That's it. Now Biden didn't just spend 50 years in Washington going viral. The man has also had some major accomplishments. Biden would enter the race as a foreign policy heavyweight. In the Senate, he chaired the Foreign Relations Committee. 26 years ago, then-Senator Biden wrote the violence against women act. He was a key player on guns in the 90s with the Brady Bill and the assault weapons bear. Biden forced the president's hand on the gay marriage issue,

endorsing same-sex unions before the president's planned announcement. So for decades, Biden's been th the the the the the the the the thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii- thi- thi-hen't thi-hea thi-hea thi-hea thi-s thi-s thi-s thi-s the. the. thease thease thease the. thease the. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the-s the-s the-s the-s thea-s. toea-s. toea-s. toea-s. thea'-s.a'ea'ea'ea'ea'ea'ea'ea'ea'ea- unions before the president's planned announcement. So for decades, Biden's been involved in issues that matter to Democrats. Gun control, women's rights, gay marriage. He was even one of the first to support trans rights, although he probably thought he was supporting trains, but that's still very impressive. But anyone who's been around that long is also going to have some baggage. And Biden, oh man, he's got enough baggage to full a a a a to full to full to full to full a to full to full a to full to full to full a to full a to full to full to full a to full to full to full a to to to full their is also going to have some baggage. And Biden, oh man, he's got enough baggage to fill a whole Amtrak car. Biden is already explaining a decades-long record,

including his role in passing the now-controversial 1994 crime bill, his vote for the Iraq war, skepticism of Anita Hill, and past comments on busing to desegregate schools. Ooh, okay. So on the downside, Joe Biden got a lot of things wrong back in the day. But on the upside, he managed to grow his hair back. Look at that, huh? This guy has the Benjamin Button of Scalps. Now, despite some problematic positions in his past,

many are saying that Democrats are still likely to vote for Joe Biden, partly because of how progressive he's become, and partly because of how good he is at getting under Trump's skin. The press always asked me, don't I wish I were debating him. No, I wish you were in high school, I could take him behind the gym. That's what I wish you were in high school I could take him behind the gym. That's what I wish. Did you see where Biden wants to take me to the back of the barn? Me? He wants to. I'd love that. I'd love that.

Mr. Tough guy. If we were in high school, I'd take him behind the gym and beat the hell out of him. That would not last long. Go like this. He's down. And he'll never get up. He'll never get up. Old man fights. Old man fights. Old man fights. So, will Joe Biden be the Democrat who gets to take on Trump?

Well, we'll have to wait and see. But I'll be honest. Part of me hopes that it does happen just so that we get to be the Democrat who gets to take on Trump? Well, we'll have to wait and see. But I'll be honest, part of me hopes that it does happen, just so that we get to watch the most entertaining debates of all time. Yesterday, he kicked off his campaign with a rally outside Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Joe Biden at the first rally of his 2020 campaign, surrounded by labor union supporters in Battleground Pennsylvania. The major moral obligation of our time is to restore, rebuild and respect the backbone of America, the middle class.

The stock market is roaring, but you don't feel it. I make no apologies. I am a union man. I am a union man. It. I am a union man. It's a good campaign line and a terrible Marvel superhero. How are we going to stop Thanos? I don't know, but I got Marvel to give us free dental coverage. And although Biden may be zeroing in on one voting block in particular,

he's not forgetting the rest of the country. Choose hope over fear, unity over division. We always do better and we act as one America. Donald Trump is only president, is the only president, who's decided not to represent the whole country. The president has his base. We need a president who works for all Americans. Yes. That's where America has gotten to. Candidates now have to promise, if they get the job, they'll be the they'll the they'll the the they'll the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. We'll be th. We'll be their their thi. We'll th. We'll th. Weaughe. Wea. We'll th. We'll thi. Weaughe. We' thi. We' thi. We' thi. We' thi. We' thi. We, that's where America has gotten to. Candidates now have to promise, if they get the job,

they'll be the president of the whole country. It's crazy because thanks to Trump, that's not a foregone conclusion anymore. You realize that? Because he got into the White House, and he was like, California, suck a fat dick. New York. Same to you. All the people who voted for Hillary suck my boss Wisconsin see you Friday, Florida every Friday baby. Yeah Donald Trump has become good friends with Mexico and he's BFF with little Kim, but there's one feud the president is not willing to end and it's with America's greatest enemy Sleepy Joe. Well, I heard Biden who's a loser. I mean look Joe. Joe never got more than 1%? Except. Oh, the that. to end. And it's with America's greatest enemy, Sleepy Joe. Well, I heard Biden, who's a loser. I mean, look, Joe never got more than 1% except

Obama took him off the trash sheep and now it looks like he's failing. He looks different than he used to. He acts different than he used to. He's even slower than he used to be. I'd rather run against, I think Biden than anybody. I think the their their their thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi's to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to Biden than anybody. I think he's the weakest mentally. And I like running against people that are weak mentally. I think Joe is the weakest up here. Really, Donald? You want to compete with a mentally weak loser? Well, then maybe you should hold a debate with a mirror. Now it's no coincidence that Trump is going after the former VP. Ever since the polls came out showing Biden beating Trump all over the country, Trump has aimed

all of his attacks directly at his number one threat. And Joe Biden is loving it because it's setting him up as the presumptive nominee, which is why yesterday in Iowa, he delivered a 40-minute speech that was all about Trump. I don't think the president really gets the basics. He thinks these tariffs are being paid by China, just like you think Mexico is Bill on the wall. He thinks windmills cause cancer. Now look, you think I'm making this up? I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, the the the the the the the the th. th. thi. thi. thi. He thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the, he the, he delivered thi thi thi thi thi thi the, he delivered the, he delivered the, he delivered thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, he thi the, he the, he the, he the, he the, he the, he the, he the, he the, he the, he the, he the is the is threate is threate is threate is threate is threate is threate is threate is threate is threate is threate is threate is the is the is threate is the is think Mexico is building a wall. He thinks windmills cause cancer. Now look, you think I'm making this up, I know. Quote, I have complete power. No, you don't, Donald Trump.

Or only I can fix it. Fix yourself first, Donald Trump. Okay, that was weird. I feel like Joe Biden turned black by the end of that speech. Only I can fix it. No, fix yourself, Donald Trump. Mike Pence, you better come get your man. The second night of the Democratic debates ended just moments ago.

I don't know if it was Swalwell, or if the sharks could just smell blood in the water. All I know is, Biden had a target on his back. I was six years old when a presidential candidate came to the California Democratic Convention and said, it's time to pass the torch to a new generation of Americans. That candidate was then Senator Joe Biden. Joe Biden was right when he said it was time to pass the torch to a new generation of Americans 32 years ago. He's still right today.

If we're going to solve the issues of automation, pass the torch. We're going to solve the issues of climate chaos, pass the torch. If we're going to solve their kids to school past the torch. Vice President, would you like to sing a torch? I would. I'm still holding on that torch. That's right. Biden is not letting go of that torch. Even though that torch is really uncomfortable and told Biden that it does not like the way

that he's holding onto that touch. When they brought up President Obama's record of mass deportations, Joe Biden probably wished that he could have been deported out of this debate. Vice President Biden, I didn't hear your response when the issue came up of all those deportations. You were Vice President of the United States. I didn't hear whether you tried to stop them or not using your power, your influence in the White House. The President came thi a a that that that that that that that that thi that that thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii's the guy that came up with the idea first time ever of dealing with the dreamers. He put that in the law. I don't hear an answer from the vice president. I'm confused.

Mr. Vice President, you want to be present in United States. You need to be able to answer the tough questions. I guarantee you if you're debating Donald Trump, he's not going to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the to the the the the to to the the to the the the the to the the the the the the, the the, the the, to be a the the, the the, the the, the the, the the, the the, the the, the the, the the, the the, the the, the the, the the, the, the the, the the, the the, the the, the the, the the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the trowneoomrowneoomeoomeoomorrow.eoomorrow. truemoomorrow. truemoomorrow, truemeaqqqqqqq. truee. I am not the president. I keep my recommendation in private. Unlike you, I expect you would go ahead and say whatever was said privately with him. That's not what I do. Oh, hold up. Did Joe Biden just called Bill de Blasio a little ass niche? That's what he said, right? Yeah, I didn't realize Biden was so true to the streets. He's like

Mr. Mayor, unlike you, I protect my neck because these bitches ain't loyal. That's what I do. Going into Super Tuesday, the Democratic field had been narrowed down to four main candidates, which is a long way from the original 6,000. And as the dust began to settle, it became clear. There were two winners and two losers. Elizabeth Warren, one of the Knights' losers. You see, she failed to pick up a single state. And to add insult to injury in her home state of Massachusetts, she came in third.

Yeah, which is pretty rough. It's like if you came home to find your parents had replaced you with another child. Just be like, sorry, honey, we'd like Joe Biden to be our daughter now. The night belonged to Joe Biden. They don't call Super Tuesday for nothing. The former vice president with a massive comeback on the biggest night of the primary so far. A fired up Joe Biden celebrating his historic night, racking up a string of commanding victories, including a clean sweep of states in the South,

and a stunning win in Delegate Rich, Texas. The press and opponents are declared a campaign dead. Tell that to the folks in Virginia. North Carolina. Alabama. Tennessee. Oklahoma, Arkansas, Minnesota. Hey, that's a Joe Biden we haven't seen in a while. Look at him, huh?

to be smiling, full of energy, naming states that actually exists. Hey, because let's be honest, let's be honest. We were all waiting for him to give a shout out to Pencil Chucet! states that actually exists. No, because let's be honest, let's be honest. We were all waiting for him to give a shout out to Pencil Chuce It. I'm serious, I don't think I've seen Biden this happy. Since that time, Obama taught him how to ride a bike. This has been a while. I mean... The vice presidency. It's America's assistant manager. And today, Joe Biden announced who he's picked to be his VP.

We're coming on the air with breaking news. Democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden has made his choice. NBC News is confirmed that Biden has picked California Senator Kamala Harris to be his running mate. The first woman of color in history to be chosen for such a position. So the Democratic ticket is Biden Harris. That's right, people. Joe Biden has officially picked Kamala Harris to be his running mate. Say what you want about Joe, but the man went black and he's not going back.

And I gotta say, I'm impressed that Biden picked Kamala even after she destroyed him at that debate. In fact, part of me thinks he only picked her so that she can just never dust his ass in public again. This isn't a VP pick, it's an insurance policy. And I'm really interested to see what the Trump campaign's line of attack is going to be on Kamala. Because they're going to have a tough time. Everything she's done in her career appeals to Trump's base. Crafty Camilla spent her whole career locking up criminals and filling up California's jails. She's even friends with cops.

Hold on, that actually sounds pretty cool. Mike, is it too late to change you? Finding great candidates to hire can be like trying to find a needle in a haystack. You might get a lot of resumes, but not enough candidates with the right skills or experience. But not with Zip Recruiter. Zip Recruiter finds amazing candidates for you fast. And right now you can try it for free at Zip Recruiter's smart technology,

to their to-sci Recruiters' powerful matching technology starts showing you qualified people for it, and you can use Zip Recruiter's pre-written invite to apply message to personally reach out to your favorite candidates and encourage them to apply sooner. Ditch the other hiring sites and let Zip Recruiter find what you're looking for, the needle in the haystack. Four out of five employers who post on Zip Recruiter get a quality to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, the th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, the th, the th, th, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. tog, tog, toge. toge. tip. tip, tip recruiting. tip recruiting. tip recruiting. tip recruiting. tip recruiting. tip recruiting. tip.ruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. Try it for free at this exclusive web address. Zip Recruiter.com slash zip. Again that's Zip Recruiter. The smartest way to hire.

It's been said that nice guys finish last. But is that really true? I'm Tim Harford, host of The Cautionary Tales podcast, and I'm exploring that very question. Join me for my new miniseries on the Art of Fairness. We'll travel from New York to Tahiti to India on a quest to learn how to succeed without being a jerk. We'll examine stories of villains undone by their villainy and monstrous self-devaring egos and will delve

into the extraordinary power of decency. We'll face mutiny on the vast Pacific Ocean, blaze a trail with a pioneering skyscraper and dare to confront a formidable empire. The art of fairness on caution Cautionary Tales. Listen on the IHart Radio App, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. But that's all about to change.

Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes a second look on Apple podcasts starting September 17. The only part of last night that really mattered was Joe Biden's big acceptance speech. And because Donald Trump has spent months trying to portray Biden as a senile old man who can barely string a few words together, the stakes for the speech were especially high. But Biden rose to the occasion. We have a great purpose as a nation

to open the doors of opportunity to all Americans, to save our democracy, to be a light to the world once again. For love is more powerful than hate, hope is more powerful than fear, and light is more powerful and dark. This is our moment. This is our moment, this is our mission, and this is a battle we will win and we'll do it together. I promise you. So it's with great honor and humility.

I accept this nomination for a president of the United States of America. I'm not going to lie. Watching Biden give this speech was nerve-wracking. It was like watching the quiet place, one wrong step, and the whole thing is over. But honestly, he nailed it. He showed strength, he showed emotion, he made a powerful case for a more united America. And I actually think that Trump did Biden the biggest favor by making it seem like he's incompetent and senile. I mean, the bar has been set super low. As soon as America saw Biden had his jacket on the right way around, they were ready to

give him a standing ovation. Biden speaking in complete sentences was just the icing on the cake. And last night, also reminded us how different these candidates are. I mean, you've got the presidential candidate who's casually quoting Danish philosophers and Irish poets, and then you've got the president whose morning read is the back of a cereal box. You're right, Tony. They are great. Not as great as America, but so great. Let's really sit down and talk about what we learned.

You know, take some time to analyze the policy disagreements. Think through the important issues. Pass the nuances of... The question is... The question is radical left. Would you shut up, man? You graduated either the lowest or almost the lowest in your class. This is so unpresented.

Hunter got thrown out of the military. He was thrown out dishonorably discharged. That's not the the important the important the important thrown out of the military. He was thrown out, dishonorably discharged. That's not true. He wasn't dishonorably. Wait a minute, you get the final word, Mr. Mr. Lank. Well, it's hard to get any word in with this clown. Excuse me, this person.

Hey, let me just tell you. Oh snap! These guys were bickering so much Canada called the cops to complain about the noise. I have never seen a debate like that in my life. To be honest, I've never seen anything like that in my life. Honestly, it seemed less like a presidential debate and more like a fight that you over here in a booth at Denny's. Well you shut up, you clown, you got no class. I got no class. You got terrible grades and your son's a coke hand. You piece of shit, you don't talk about my son. You listen.

Yeah, hi, can I get the, uh, the moons over my hammy with the orange juice, please? Yeah, that'll be all, though. Thank you so much. You got drunk and you hit on your own daughter! I wasn't drunk. I mean, some of these insults were way more personal than you ever seen a debate, especially Biden calling Trump a clown. Which guys, I'm sorry man, that's not fair to Trump. All right. Clowns wear weird makeup. They have clothes that are too big for them. They're deeply sad even when they don't show it. Does that sound like Donald Trump to you? Now, let's just be clear. The reason that this debate was such a colossal train wreck is because Donald J. Trump was throwing grenades on the tracks. And usually in a debate, the moderator the moderator to prevent things from getting out of hand. And the their their th. And their tre. And tre. And tre. And tre. And tre. And, and tre. And, tre, tre, tre, tre, tre, tre, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to you, to you, to you, to you, to you, to you, to you, to you, tr. tr. tr. tr. tr. tr. tr. tr. tr. tr. true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to prevent things from getting out of hand, but last night's moderator Chris Wallace was about as successful at stopping Trump as the popular vote.

The country would be better served if we allowed both people to speak with fewer interruptions. I'm appealing to you sir to do that. Well, and him too. Well, frankly, you've been doing more interrupting. I'd like you to... Mr. President, I'm a moderator of this debate. And I would like you to let me ask me to to to th me th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. the the th. th. the th. th. the th. the the to the to th. to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the th. to th. to to to to to th. to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their their. their. their. their. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. to. S. to. S. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. S. their their it. I'd like you to know. Mr. President, I'm the moderator of this debate, and I would like you to let me ask my question and then you can answer you. Go ahead. Wait, wait, wait, sir. Just a wrong state. No, I understand. You've agreed to the two minutes, so, theymea. therelease. The second subject is COVID-19, which is an awfully serious subject, so let's try to be serious

about it. Stop. You're going to have true. Gentlemen, I hate to raise my voice, but I see it seems to be, why shouldn't I be different than the two of you? No, you've been talking back and I'm asking you. You know, if you want to switch seats, we can do that. Oh, man, that is so sad. Trump was being such a child that Chris Wallace actually had to pull the,

do you want to switch seats move, that English teachers use with their students. And honestly, I'm glad that Trump didn't take him up on it. Because if Trump takes over Wallace's to to to to to to to to the job, to to to to to to to to the job, to to to the job, then Wallace has to take over Trump's job, and I don't know if he has it in him to kill 200,000 people. Now, this is all happening after a chaotic, nerve-wracking election night that featured all types of weird moments. Predictions flipping left and right, ballots being delivered with a police escort, Steve Kornaki's khaki butt.

But maybe what's weirdest is that after all of that, the night actually ended up going mostly as everyone expected. You know, Trump jumped ahead early in a lot of states because Republicans mostly voted in person and those votes got counselled first. And then, as the Democratic mail-in ballots came in, Biden jumped ahead, which is what everyone knew might happen for weeks. Well, everyone, except the President of the United States.

We were winning everything, and all of a sudden it was just called off. The results tonight have been phenomenal, and we are getting ready. I mean, literally, we were just all set to get outside and just celebrate something that was so beautiful, so good. We had such a big night. You just take a look at all of these states that we've won tonight, and then you take a look at the kind of margins that we've won them by. We won states, and all of a sudden, I said, what happened?

And all of a sudden, it's off. And we have all all the the their their to the election? It's off. And we have all these announcers saying, what happened? And then they said, oh, yeah, dude. Because first they counted your votes, and now they're counting the other guy's votes. I mean, I knew that Trump didn't like science, but I didn't realize he had disabouboubts. I mean, maybe this explains why he's always in debt. This is just a level of stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid from Trump that I did not expect. He always exceeds the levels of stupidity. I don't know you could go higher. Sometimes it feels like Trump is an actual toddler.

First I had a nose, then suddenly my uncle stole it. And I had no nose. What happened to law and order, folks? I don't have a nose anymore. Although, Trump could be playing four-dimensional chess here. Yeah, maybe he's laying the groundwork for his legal defense over his taxes. Your Honor, as you can see, I have no idea how numbers work, therefore I cannot be held accountable. Case dismissed.

Case dismissed. the case. to dismiss your own case. I also don't know how the law works. Double case dismissed. But yeah, needless to say, Donald Trump was upset. the more. thiiiiiiiii. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. toe. to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be thi. to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be th. th. to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. to to to the. to to the. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to less to say, Donald Trump was upset. The more votes got counted, the more Biden pulled ahead of him. And for Donald Trump, there could only be one solution. Stop counting the votes.

Something just breaking in the last couple of minutes as well. Things are moving fast and furiously with the president's campaign. The campaign manager Bill Steppian announcing that the Trump campaign has filed a lawsuit in the state of Michigan saying President Trump's campaign has not been provided with meaningful access to numerous counting locations to observe the opening of ballots in the counting. Is guaranteed by Michigan law. We have filed suit today in the Michigan Court of Claims to halt counting. This is a fraud on the American public. This is an embarrassment to our

country. We were getting ready to win this election. Frankly, we did win this election. This is a major fraud in our nation. We want the law to be used in a proper manner. So we'll be going to the US Supreme Court. We want all voting to stop. We don't want them to find any ballots at 4 o'clock in the morning and add them to the list. Okay? It's a very sad moment. To me there's a very sad moment and we will win this. And as far as I'm concerned, we already have one. Wow.

I know everyone was expecting it. But still, can we just take a moment to admit that it is insane that an American president is just demanding that they stop, that they stop counting votes while he's ahead. This is a textbook authoritarian move, which is impressive coming from a guy who's never read a textbook. And I gotta say, for a guy who hates shit-hole countries, Trump really likes to jack their style. CNN projects Joseph R. Biden, Jr. is elected the 46th president of the United States.

There was jubilies as people flooded the streets today, celebrating from the White House to the West Coast. Celebrations in the streets in New York City, the Tri-State, and across the world. On the streets of the largest cities, today, a party. In President Trump's hometown, New York City, Biden supporters shouted out their windows. There were bands and champagne. Costumes and tears. An impromptu dance party broke out. We had sweet Caroline sing-alongs and nah-na Nah, Nah, Goodbye, sing-alongs. Oh yeah! What a day, what a day, what a day.

Now, people were out in the streets, dancing, they were partying. People were singing Sweet Caroline, which was genius, because any celebration that's singing Sweet Caroline isn't gonna get broken up by the cops. For real though, people, this was an amazing weekend. It was such a festive atmosphere. The Saturday was amazing. Everyone was so happy.

Even coronavirus was like, man, you guys have fun. I'm taking the day of. No, I'm kidding. I'm joining in. N'am, yom, y'am, y'am, y'am. But yes, that's right, people. This weekend, Joseph Rianna bio'a, was was was was was was was was was the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thuic'll work as hard for those who didn't vote for me as those who did. Let this grim era of demonization in America begin to end here and now.

Wow. I don't know about you guys, but after four years of having to listen to Trump, a normal presidential speech was almost weird. I was listening to the speech like, wait, so we're not blaming anything on Hillary? Nothing? And let's be honest. At this point, I bet even Trump's people want Biden to lower the temperature. I mean, mainly because half of them are running a fever from COVID. Still, though, I'm sure that they were happy th that that that that that that that th that th that th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to have have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. thr. thru. thru. toe. toe. toe. true. toe. to toe. toe. to toe. to to the. the. I mean, mainly because half of them are running a fever from COVID. Still, though, I'm sure that they were happy to hear Biden say, let the grim demonization begin to end. Although I do like how Biden didn't say, let's end it.

He said, let's begin to end it. You know, like it'll be too dangerous to just stop demonizing all at once. We've to to to to to to thoine to thoine thoine thoe tho, we've tho, we've tho, we've tho, we've tho, we've tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, the, the, the, tean, tean, tean, tean. tean. tean. tean. tean. tean. thean. thean. to stop being mean to each other in this country next week. But for now, what the fuck is going on with Mitch McCarroll's hands? You see that shit? Looks like he's got baloney fingers. But the truth is, Biden was calling for healing. And he was promising to work just as hard for the people who didn't vote for him as the people who did. And after these last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last the last the last the last the last few the last few the last few the last the last few the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. few years, man, I think that's a nice sentiment.

Although the truth is the country is so divided, I don't know how that would work in real life. You know, is Biden really going to try and cater to both because everyone is so far apart? I'm going to listen to Dr. Fauci, and then, of course, I will behead him. And to reach across the aisle, I will find my sonn, th up. Am I a good president or what? The point is, people, it's genuinely going to take some time getting used to speeches that sound like speeches. But otherwise, for Biden and Harris, it was a flawlessly choreographed evening. Well, except for one moment, when a confetti cannon went off,

and based on the candidates' reactions, it doesn't look like they were expecting it. Geez, that was terrifying. I don't know about you. But when I saw that, the black part of me in the movie theater came out, I was like, get out of there, Joe! They're try to take you out. Come on to get down! This is actually something I think we need to address as a planet, people. We have to stop celebrating with things that sound like gunfire. Fireworks, confetti cannons, popping champagne corks, all of it. Half the time, I'm like, whoa, did something good happen or a shit going down? I don't need to be. At this point, Joe Biden's campaign should be wrapping him in bubble wrap and storing him in the attic until inauguration day. The Daily Show with CoverNoa, Ears Edition. Watch the Daily Show weeknights at 11th, 10 Central on Comedy Central and the Comedy Central app. Watch full episodes and videos

at the Daily Show. Follow us on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and subscribe to the daily show on YouTube for exclusive content and more. Do Nice Guys Really Finish Last. I'm Tim Harford, host of the Cautionary Tales podcast, and I'm exploring that very question. Join me for my new miniseries on the Art of Fairness. From New York to Tahiti will examine villains undone by their villainy. Monstrous, self-devaring egos and accounts of the extraordinary power of decency. Listen on the IHart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever

you listen to podcasts. When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes, a second look on Apple Podcasts starting September 17. This has been a Comedy Central Podcast.