The Daily Show: Ears Edition - A Ray of Sunshine - Impossible Hole-in-One & NYC Swan Rescue | Halsey

Episode Date: November 12, 2020

Trevor highlights some uplifting developments, Michael Kosta talks to Americans seeking dental care in Mexico, and singer-songwriter Halsey discusses her book "I Would Leave Me if I Could." Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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You're rolling. But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes, a second look on Apple podcasts starting September 17th. Hey, what's going on, everybody? Welcome to the Daily Social Distancing Show. I'm Trevor Noah.

Today is Wednesday, the 11th of November, which means, yeah, that's right. 11, and in 10 minutes, it's going to be 11, 60, 60, 60, 60, 60, 60, 60, 60, 60, 60, 60, 60 the the the the the the the to to 60 to 60 the to 60 to 60 the to 60 the to 60 60 60 60 the to to 60 to 60 minutes to 60 minutes, 60 minutes, 60 minutes, 60 minutes, to 60 minutes, 60 minutes, 60 minutes, to 60 minutes, to 60 minutes, to 60 minutes, to 60 yeah, that's right. 1111, and in 10 minutes, it's going to be 1111 on 1111, which means you can make the ultimate wish. Ooh, I wish a nigger would. Anyway, coming up on tonight's show, Donald Trump will make you rich if you lie. We take a break from all the anxiety with a ray of sunshine, and Halsey is joining us on the show. So let's do this, people.

Welcome to the Daily Social Distancing Show. From Trevor's couch in New York City to your couch somewhere in the world. This is the Daily Social Distancing Show with Trevor Noa. the ears addition. It has now been four, or possibly 12 days days since Joe Biden was declared president-elect and Kamala Harris's sassy white friend. And since then, he's been busy trying to prepare his team for office.

But it's not going smoothly. Because Donald Trump, one-term president and tenant from hell, is still going through all the stages of grief. Denial, rage-tweeting, undermining democracy, and back to denial. The president's latest moves indicate that he is not ready to concede any time soon and that he may not leave all that gracefully. Several sources throughout government agencies indicate that President Trump has put out the word through his staff that he does not want any federal agency cooperating with a Biden transition team and further that he doesn't want any government agency doing anything that would imply that

Biden won the election. We're also learning that the White House has started to press these agencies to come out with a budget for next year as if there will be no change at the White House. One administration official telling the Washington Post, quote, they're pretending nothing happened. We're all supposed to pretend this is normal and do all this work while we know we're just going to have to throw it away, end quote. Trump administration is reportedly also continuing to vet new political appointees for jobs in a second Trump term.

President-Elecified President Trump's refusal to concede the election. I just think it's an embarrassment, quite frankly. The only thing that, how can I say this, tactfully, I think it will not help the president's legacy. Shame, guys, Joe Biden is right. Does Donald Trump rarely want denying the election results to president's legacy? Shame, guys. Joe Biden is right. Does Donald Trump really want denying the election results to be his legacy? Because I'd like to remember him as the president who kidnapped kids and helped kill 240,000 Americans. Not for this. And please, can somebody tell me, how is Trump still vetting candidates for new jobs?

What's that job interview like? So tell me where do you see yourself in five years? Nah, bitch, where do you see yourself in five weeks? Trump is the kind of captain who would have been taking job applications on the Titanic. So Daniel, do you have any experience working on a sinking ship? Um, should we leave? A lot of people are jumping overboard. Don't worry about them. They're just being dramatic. Let me show you where you're gonna be sleeping.

I mean, guys, it must be so uncomfortable working in the White House right now, because everyone around Trump knows he lost, but they've got to all go along with the lie. That's got to be exhausting, especially when you're already running a fever from COVID. But look, I'm sorry, Donald. This just isn't going to work. You can't pretend that everything's fine when the whole entire world saw you get fired. My nigger, if people in Bosnia know you don't have a job, you do not have a job. Honestly, people, I don't think Donald Trump has ever looked more pathetic than this. And yes, I'm including the time he played tennis in his sport diapers.

Because the only way that he can overturn the election is to prove that there has been nationwide voter fraud. And the truth is, that's just not panning out. Election officials in states across the country report to the New York Times no evidence of widespread voter fraud. The Times reached out to top election officials in every state to ask whether they suspected or had evidence of illegal voting. None reported any major voting issues. As for Pennsylvania, the president claims, and I quote, Pennsylvania prevented us from watching much of the ballot count.

The Trump campaign went to federal court about this. Judge Paul Diamond, a George W. Bush appointee, heard the arguments. And by the end of the hearing, under questioning from the judge, the judge, the judge, the judge, the judge, the judge, the judge, the judge, the judge, the judge, the the appointee, heard the arguments, and by the end of the hearing under questioning from the judge, the Trump campaign lawyer admitted, contrary to his initial complaint that, yeah, there were, in fact, observers present. Similarly, a state judge in Michigan dismissed a lawsuit over access to ballot. She cited a lack of admissible evidence and whether the campaign had even sued the right party. In Georgia, the campaign sued over late. to to to to to to the the to their, their, to their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their. their, their, their. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their. their, tre, tre, treck. trueu. trueu. true. truen. truen.au. truen. truen. truen. truen. truen. truen. truen. In Georgia, the campaign sued over late mail-in ballot to allegedly being counted.

The judge dismissed it again for lack of evidence. Yep. Trump's claims are being thrown out in the courts all over the country. Michigan courts, Georgia courts, federal courts. Even food courts are like, man, get your bullshit out of this Panda Express. He's getting thrown out of courts so fast. The bailiffs don't even the the they. they. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. the to toe, tho, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, tooes. And, tooes. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, tho. And, tho. And, they's they's they's they's too's they's too's tooe. And, too's, tooom's, tooom's, tooown out of court so fast. The bailiffs don't even say all rise. They're just like, nah, y'all can keep sitting, man, we won't be here long. Yeah, y'all just stay where you is.

And here's the thing, guys. Everyone knows Trump lost. Even Donald Trump knows that he lost. You know how you know this guy? You realize you haven't seen his face. Donald Trump really thought he'd won he'd be hiding? No, we know this guy. The guy would be holding a victory rally every single day. He'd be flying around the country on top of Air Force One doing that weird jerk off dance that he does. And just so we're on the same page.

Reporters haven't found it. Election officials haven't found it. And even the courts haven't found it. So now, Republicans are putting out a mass call for voter fraud investigation volunteers. Republicans continue to search for widespread issues. In Texas, Lieutenant Governor Dan Patrick is offering up to a million dollars to incentivize, encourage and reward people for reports of voter fraud, even though

there has been no evidence of any there. Right now we're in an evidence gathering phase. That's why we have a hotline and that we're asking people to let us know. If they have any of these irregularities that they saw, we'll pursue them and then we will pursue legal action. The Trump campaign has set up this up thup th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the the the to the to the to the the the to the the the the their to their their, to their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their. their. their. their. their. their. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. t. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. the te. t irregularities that they saw, we'll pursue them, and then we will pursue legal action. The Trump campaign has set up this voter fraud hotline basically where it could field calls about these allegations of voter fraud. I'm told actually a lot of those calls have been prank calls that have been coming in. Oh man, these poor Trump lawyers, they're going to be getting into court like, Your Honor, I have a sworn affidavit proving voter fraud, to vote vote vote votets and his good friend Ben Dover. And they're both very concerned. Wait a minute.

But what do they expect? What do they expect? You're going to ask people to call in? What do you expect? The only calls anyone makes anymore are prank calls? Any other reason you just text. Even when your granny calls you now, she's like, hello, sweetie? Is is they? Is is? Is they? Is they? Is they? Is they? they? they? they? they? they? they? they? they? they? they? they? they? they? they? they? they? they? they? their, their, th. their, their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. to. to. to. toe. th. toe. toe. th. toe. th. toe. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. text. Even when your granny calls you now, she's like, Hello, sweetie. Is your refrigerator running? Well, then maybe you should catch it, you loser. Ha ha ha ha ha. I also love how that one guy is offering a million dollars for evidence of voter fraud. One million dollars.

That's how you know there's no voter fraud, man. You never offer a million dollars for shit you think might actually happen. It's always like, oh yeah, I'll give you a million dollars if Cheryl goes to the prom with you. If you ask me, the real surprise here, isn't that the campaign was so desperate that they set up a fraud hotline? It's that they're not chargingthis presidency. Come on, Donald, there's no time to waste. And I know it may seem like a long shot,

that someone would just come forward with a piece of evidence that would blow this whole thing wide open and hand the election to Donald Trump. But guess what? Last night, that's exactly what happened, ish. A woman claiming to be a Nevada poll worker telling Laura Ingram last night about the fraud that she says she witnessed firsthand. I went out to go for a walk on my break and I probably had a 150, 175 foot stretch where

I was walking, the Biden van was parked along this stretch. And I was walking to it so about 150 feet I was walking and I could see these people hand over what appeared to be white envelopes, just hand over onto this table. And as I got closer, the envelopes were being torn open. There were two men or two people dropping the envelopes and two people ripping them open and turning and facing the van and drawing on them or marking them. And as I walked by, one, one, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the people, the, the people, the, the, the people, and I, the people, and I, the people, and I, the, and I, and I, and I, the people, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I the people, and I could the people, the people, and I the people, and I could the people, and I could the people, and I could these these people, and I these people, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people their their their their their their their and turning and facing the van and drawing on them or marking them and as I walk by one of them looks at me and the whole line moves as I walk by them and it scared me. Oh my God! Fox News found T-Pain! I wondered what happened to him. Seriously, I don't know what that was but that voice sounds like what a robot sounds like when they go through puberty.

And don't worry, Jared, any day now. It's going to happen any day now. And look, I understand why that whistleblower was scared and they wanted to hide their identity. I mean, vote fraudsters are some of the most dangerous, violent criminals. When they vote right in his face. Hoof. Dangerous. Also, it's crazy that you... Sorry, hold on. Okay, my control room is telling me that there's another anonymous poll worker

who wants to tell us about election fraud. Wow. This is really weird because I don't have a control room or an earpiece, but I want to get to the bottom of this So joining us now in a daily show exclusive is an anonymous poll worker What up African? I mean, hello Trevor Noah. We have never met Okay, that's a little bit weird, but thank you so much for joining us. Let's get straight into this. You say that you have witnessed voter election fraud? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, it was crazy. It. It. It. th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th Yeah, yeah, it was crazy, it was crazy, man. So I was down, I was down in Philadelphia,

right? I'm counting ballots down in Philadelphia. I looked to my right. It's a dude wearing a Joe Biden t-shirt and he tearing up ballots for Donald Trump. And I asked him, I go, Amber, what are you doing? He said, I'm committing voter fraud for Joe Biden. It was crazy. He said it just like that. Wow, that is really crazy and very specific. And it wasn't just that. I looked to my left, and that was Joe Biden. Joe Biden was standing right there with a bunch of Black Panthers.

And I said, I said, hey man, ain't you Joe Biden? He looked at me. He said, I said, hey man, ain't you Joe Biden? He looked at me. He said, shh, yes, this is a true story. And so then I was so messed up by that, man, I was so messed up. I went out to the parking lot to take a smoke, right? And I'm out in the parking lot. This karate sense they had all had had had had had had had had had had had had all had all had all had all had all their their their had all the Donald Trump ballots. They had them all stacked up and they was chopping them like like wooden boys. Chopping up ballots for Trump man. I'm telling you

what I saw. I know what I saw. Okay, enough of this. Roy, I know it's you. Roy. No, it's not me. This is not Roy. It's you man. I know by your karate chop. Only one person does karate chops is not Roy. It's you, man. I know by your karate chop. Only one person does karate chops like that. It's you, Roy. Just turn on the, turn on his lights. I know it's, it's Roy. That's not me. That's not me.

It's not. It's not. Hey, hey, Trevor, what are you doing? What are you doing? I know you're not a Trump supporter. Why would you be working with him to undermine the election? First of all, no, no, I'm not a Trump supporter, broo. But I am a supporter of getting a million dollars.

I'm tell you that right now. You saw what that dude from Texas said? Hell, I'm trying to get paid. You're crazy. Roy, this is unethical, though, man. You're helping to spread claims of voter election fraud. It's going to undermine America's democracy. I didn't think about that, Trevor. I didn't think about that. And you were right. This election, you know, America's democracy is too valuable to risk losing its integrity

over a couple of false allegations, right? I take back everything I said, man. I'll take it. I'll take it. I'll take it. If Joe Biden gives me a million dollars. No, Roy, there's no money. Cut, cut his camera. Cut this. There's money. There can be money. Hey, turn my lights back on. Turn everything. Turn everything off. There's there. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. T the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the integrity. the integrity. the integrity. the integrity. the integrity. the integrity. the integrity. the integrity's the integrity's the integrity. the integrity. the integrity. the integrity. the integrity. the integrity. the integrity. It's the integrity. It's the integrity. It's the integrity. It's the integrity. It's the integrity. It's the integrity. It's the integrity. It's the integrity. It's the integrity. It's the integrity. the integrity. the integrity. the integrity. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the integrity. the the integrity. It's the integrity. It's the the the the the the the the the the the integrity. It's in the the the the the integrity. It's the integrity. It's the integrity. It's the integrity.this, we're done. There's money, there can be money, they can be, hey, turn my lights back on. No, no, turn everything off, turn everything off. There's no money for you, Roy. Turn my light, hey, Trevor. Sorry guys, I really thought we had a real scoop there. Tell you what, when we come back,

we'll look at some fun news to get all of then, don't forget, Halsey is joining us on the show. So stick around. Finding great candidates to hire can be like trying to find a needle in a haystack. You might get a lot of resumes, but not enough candidates with the right skills or experience. But not with Zip Recruiter. Zip Recruiter finds amazing candidates for you fast. And right now you can try it for free, at Zipiter.com. Zip Recruiters smart technology identifies top talent for your roles quickly. Immediately after you post your job, zip recruiters powerful matching technology starts showing you qualified people for it, and you can use zip recruiters pre-written invite to apply message to personally reach out to your favorite candidates and encourage them

to apply sooner. Ditch the other hiring sites and let Zip Recruiter find what you're looking for, the needle in the haystack. Four out of five employers who post on Zip Recruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. Try it for free at this exclusive web address. Zip Recruiter. thoo. Zip Recruiter.

the smartest way to hire. Welcome back to the Daily Social Distancing Show. There has been so much upsetting news this week. You know, Trump not conceding, coronavirus not conceding, that tape of baby Yoda saying the N word. I can't believe that that was his first word. But there is still good news out there. So let's decompress. With another installment of our ongoing segment, A ray, a the the the the th. A, a th. A. A th. A th. A thi, a thi, a thi, a thi, a thi, a thi, a thi, a thi, a thi, a thi, a thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi there. So let's decompress. With another installment of our ongoing segment, A Ray of Sunshine. Let's kick it off with professional golf.

The only sport that requires a chauffeur. There's a tradition at the Masters tournament where players will try to skip their ball over the water hazard during practice. But even that wasn't enough showing off for one golfer this weekend. As PGA players ready for this weekend's master's tournament in Augusta, Georgia, golfer John John Rom showed off during yesterday's practice round, skipping his ball on purpose across the pond and onto the green on the 16th hole. The ball the ball the ball the ball the ball the ball the ball the ball and onto the green on the 16th hole. The ball tracks around the edge of the green, funnels toward the flagstick, and

rolls into the cup. It was a hole in one, if you can believe that. Okay, that was insane! But it also sucks that it was during the practice round. The perfect shot when it doesn't count. I feel bad for that guy. Because we've all had that day, you know, when you're staying at home. But all of a sudden you're having the perfect hair day, everything looks tight. Then the next day you have a date and it's the one day where you wear your underwear outside your pants and you're like, oh crap. Sunday, I was looking so flat. But you know who I really feel bad for? Is the guy behind him on the course? Because how do you top that shot?

You can't just get a hole in one because he did that. And he skipped the ball across the pond. The next guy's gonna have to try and skip his cart across the pond. Oh shit! And I do hope that the PGA learns from this moment. 10 million views in just a few hours, which never happens for a golf highlight. So clearly, what golf needs is more fun trick shots, bringing more tricks, add a few obstacles, maybe a tunnel where first days can share an awkward kiss,

some windmills. Now, that's the kind of game people want to watch. Wait, that's a thing. But let's move on to some good news for people who love reading, but also love convenience. All right, forget the usual vending machines you might find on college campuses. A couple of new dispensers at BYU are offering food for thought. A vending machine full of short stories. Fighting and pulling. She wept at once with sudden, wild abandonment.

These stories are from around the world. There are some translations, there are classics, there's contemporary literature. We've had them up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up the the their their their their their their their their the around the world. There are some translations, there are classics, there's contemporary literature. We've had them up for about a week and we've dispensed almost 2,000 stories already. They said she had died of heart disease, of the joy that kills. Why go to a candy dispenser when you can have a piece of good literature instead? Why go to a candy dispenser when you can have a piece of good literature instead? I mean this is a cool idea, but I feel bad for the kids who went to her house on Halloween last week.

Who wants three musketeers? Yay! By Alexandra Dumas! Let's egg this house. Also, I'll tell you this, you do not want to get the wrong vending machine after you've been out drinking all night. Can you imagine, you just wanted some Doritos? And now the whole town is throwing rocks at some lady like, what the hell? And it's extra awkward if one gets stuck, because I mean, you can't shake a machine

that's full of like short stories. I've paid for a terse allegory about about a, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, the story, the story, I, I, I, the story, I, I, I, the story, I, I, I, the story, I'm, the story, I'm, the story, the story, I'm, damn it, give it to me! Although if you ask me, they should combine the two things and have a vending machine where they print the story on a bag of fungions. Yeah, then you can eat while you're reading. Oh, it was a dark and stormy night. Gnom, gnom, tum, tom. And finally, a really heartwarming story about a New Yorker and her new feathered friend. What a turn around for this one-time sick swan.

Tonight, the story of a woman out for a rod in her bike who discovered the swan and helped to save her life. While taking in the beautiful day, she noticed a lone swan who could barely move. I just couldn't leave her there. So I approached really slowly with my jacket, to try to throw it over her body and her head. Ariel carried the 17 pound Fright and Swan for a mile back to her bike. Some kind driver stopped to give them a lift to the subway station. Then they hopped on the aid train. Fellow strap hangers didn't even do a double take when they

saw Bay named after Jamaica Bay, minding her own on the train like any other commuter. New Yorkers are just so used to so many crazy things happening that it doesn't phase them. Yeah, of course no one is surprised by a swan on the subway. This is New York. Last year I got mugged by a duck. Oh shit. But it's true people. Nothing phases New Yorkers on the subway. You look up from your phone and there's a swan. There's a guy jerking off.

There's a swan jerking off. Let me just go back to your phone. No eye contact, that's the rule. Although I do think it's funny that swans get better health your mole checked out for free. Tell me that's not better than your insurance plan. But kudos to this lady, for caring enough about a swan to carry it onto the subway. Although I don't know why, when she does it, she's a hero, but when I do it, I'm banned from the zoo for life.

How is that fair? Oh, and in case you're wondering, the woman, the woman, the woman, the woman, the woman, the woman, the woman, the woman, the woman, the woman, the woe, the woe, the woe, the woe, the woe, the woe, the woe, the woe, th th th th th th th th th th th too, thee, th th th th too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, th th th th th th th th th th th than, is the. is the. is the. the. the. tooooo. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. So. to their destination safely and guys things are going swimmingly. Ariel promptly brought this one to the wild bird fun on the upper west side where she used to work and where she knew Bay would get proper care. Bay loves her, kibbles and salad. You can tell she's happy by her hearty appetite and her wagging tail. She's having such a great time. Workers here noticed Bay started honking to a male swan in the other room so they let the pair swim together. Who knows maybe this rescue story will turn into a love story by the time the swans are healthy enough to go back into the wild. All right, hold on, hold on. The swan is getting it too good now. Now it's got free health care and salad and a man. I I I I's a beautiful story, but it's gonna make single people feel like shit. Homeless birds are finding love during a pandemic and my lonely ass is eating cold chicken in my underwear?

Well, congratulations on finding true love, Subway Swan. And I know people will tell you that it won't work because you're from different worlds. I mean, you're from Jamaica Bay. He's from the Upper West Side. People will say th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th, th, th, th, th, th, th, it's th, it's th, it's th, it's th, it's thi, it's thi, thi, it's thoome, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's th, it's th, it's th, it's th, it's th, it's th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to to thi. to to thiiiiolou-s thiolou-s thiolou-s thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thell you that it won't work because you're from different worlds. I mean, you're from Jamaica Bay. He's from the Upper West Side. People will say that it won't work, but remember, in the end, you're just two beautiful animals who love to peck children's eyes out. All right, when we come back, Michael Costa goes down to Mexico for some recreational surgery. And Halsey is still coming up on the show, so stay tuned. Finding great candidates to hire can be like trying to find a needle in a haystack.

You might get a lot of resumes, but not enough candidates with the right skills or experience. But not with Zip Recruiter. Zip Recruiter finds amazing candidates for you fast. And right now you can try it for free at Zip Recruiter' smart technology identifies top talent for your roles quickly. Immediately after you post your job, Zip Recruiter's powerful matching technology starts showing you qualified people for it, and you can use Zip Recruiter's pre-written invite to apply message to personally reach out to your favorite candidates and encourage them to apply sooner. Ditch the other hiring sites and let Zip Recruiter find what you're looking for, the needle in the haystack. Four out of five employers who post on Zip Recruiter get a quality

candidate within the first day. Try it for free at this exclusive web address, zip recruiter.com slash zip. Again that's zip recruiter.com slash zip recruiter the smartest way to hire. Welcome back to the Daily Social Distancing Show. Before COVID locked us all indoors, Michael Costa discovered to to the to to to the to the to the to th get get get get get get get the th th th th th th th th th th th th to the Daily Social Distancing Show. Before COVID locked us all indoors, Michael Costa discovered a border town in Mexico that had an unusual tourist attraction. So he sunk his teeth into the mystery to file this report. I'm Michael Costa filing this report from Molar City Mexico. Shut up dogs!

We're doing a thing! Guard dogs, barbed wire, cavity searches. This Mexican border town is run by a cartel. No, not a drug cartel, something even more cruel. Dentists. Over 600 of them operate here, and you'll never guess who their biggest customers are. The Mexican border town of Los Algodones has been seeing a steady stream of Americans looking for dental care.

That's right, Americans are flooding into this border town for dental care and they're not even ashamed of it. These are seven crowns. Wow. I'm getting ready to do all of these, nice and white. I came down here and I got every single thing done that I needed, and I have had not one infection, not one bit of pain. Beautiful teeth. Every one of my teeth in my mouth are Mexican teeth.

Are you worried about your mouth being from Mexico, but your body being American? Is everything getting along? So far, yeah, it's doing pretty good. Yeah, maybe the teeth look good. But isn't it risky? If I know anything about their their their their theeeeeexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxe anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anythingeth. Yeah, maybe the teeth look good, but isn't it risky? If I know anything about Mexico, and I don't, it's that their dentists are all bad ombres with chainsaws. To find out more, I went to talk to an American tooth

jockey across the border in Arizona. If something does go wrong down there, you have no rights. And I have seen some very bad stuff done that I've had to fix. The worst is the patient had is their molar taken out. When they were drilling, they severed the next tooth ups, roots. That's the masoendacular thing? Mandibular. Mandibular. I know what you said and I know what it is. I'm as versed in the oral cavity as anybody else. This one right here, bang, L4. No. No. No. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi, th. thi, th, th, the, the, the, thi, the the, the, the th, the th, the the th, th, th, th, th, th, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the, the, the, the, theole, theole, tooe, tooe, tooeole, the, the, the, the, the,, L4. No. Are the Americans in this caravan of cavities even aware of the dangers they're about to face? You're in what has been described as a third world country. You don't have rights as a American citizen in Mexico, and you're okay with all this. Well, I mean, I, I mean, I guess I just went by the old school Yelp Review. Look, we all know that Yelp is bullshit.

Puh. Whatever, Katie H. But the question remains, why are Americans risking foreign surgery? To get to the real story, I'd have to go mouth to mouth with one of these dangerous Mexican dentis. You hear some of the horror stories of Americans? There's a guy with a chainsaw ripping open my mouth. You don't do that? Absolutely not. No.

It seems crazy to me that so many Americans cross the border into Mexico to receive dental care. In the United States, they are over 60 million people without dental insurance. So that's why they come in here looking for cheaper price and they find it good facilities. Do you have a chainsaw back there? No, no, I don't. The 74 million Americans who don't have dental insurance can't afford to get their teeth did in the USA. So these people are really economic refugees.

I figure I saved like probably like almost, you know, like $45,000 probably. And what do you do with that money? Well, you know, I have a serious gambling addiction. You're taking the money you saved from Mexico back to the American economy. Right. You seem like an American man. A true American. I'm a Republican. What would you say to your

Republican peers that say you're taking American business and giving it to the Mexicans? I'm retired and I need to save every dollar I can just like the rest of these people do. In fact, dental care in the US is more expensive than any other developed country. Hey, we're number one! Is it a product of Mexico being cheaper or is it American health care being exuberant in its costs? Yes. Yes.

Both. Yes. We have to follow regulations rules. Malpractice is a part of it. Everything I buy costs money. Every lab I use cost money. Your sports car? No.

Okay. I see these Americans crossing the border and I go, wait a sec. We get the best health care in the world, don't we? Correct. How does that make you feel? You know, I'd rather see you go to Mexico and get dentistry done than not at all. I want people to have a healthy mouth. It's clear that Dr. Land cares about people even if they can't help him with payment on his Corvette and maybe in the future Americans will be able to have dental care that won't bankrupt them. But until then, Mexico

is calling with its pleasant climate, friendly people and 70% off preventative root canals. So then the regress alright to go. Adios. All right, hit me with. Thank you so much, Costa. All right, stick around because when we come back, I'll be talking to the brilliantly talented Halsey. You don't want to miss it. Welcome back to the daily social distancing show.

Earlier today, I spoke with the Grammy-nominated singer, songwriter, and activist Halsey. We spoke about her life, her poetry, and so much more. Halsey, welcome to the Daily Social Distancing Show. Thank you for having me. You are an artist who has truly experienced the full spectrum of what it is like to be a musician. You know, you created music on SoundCloud. You worked hard to be noticed when nobody would notice you. And now, you know, people would look back on your story

and go like, oh, you're one of the most streamed artists in the world. You have six billion streams. Over six billion streams, it seems like it's overnigh. It seems like it's overnigh, you go, like, man, this has been a long time coming? You know what, thank you, by the way. It is, it's kind of a little bit of both. Like, I, in some ways, feel like I've been doing this for 20 years. I'm not 26, and I wake up in the morning sometimes, and I'm like, yeah, it's been a long road. I'm like, life's almost over.

And then other times I kind of, you know, I just, I put out my third album in January of this year. And I remember putting it out and thinking to myself, like I feel like my first album just came out. This is such a, this is such a rush to have that happen. But, you know, I think that kind of, that paradox, that paradox, that paradox, that paradox, that paradox, that paradox, that paradox, that paradox, that paradox, that paradox, that paradox, that paradox, that paradox, that paradox, that paradox, that paradox, that paradox, that paradox, that paradox, that, that, that, that, that, that, that happen, but you know, I think that kind of that paradoxical perception of time is probably exactly what I'm supposed to be feeling when I'm living a type of life that I long dreamed about having and didn't really get to have. You are one of the people I've seen who has never forgotten, not just the place

you've come from in life, but also the fact that so many other people are still there. You know, you're really outspoken and fighting for, in fighting for, you know, people's rights. You're out in the streets marching during the Black Lives Matter protests. You know, you were at, you were at the women's march, you know, right after Donald Trump became president. You shared some of the most personal stories. What is it about the world you've. You you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you've you've you've you've you've you've you've th. You've th. You've th. You've th. You've you you you you you you th. You're you're you you you you you you you you you you you you you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you you you you you you you you you you you, you're th. You're th. You're th. You're th. You're th. You're th. You're th. You're th. You're th. You're th. You're really really really really really th. You're really th. You're really th. You're really really th. You're really really thi. You're really really thi. You're really really thi. You're really thi. You're really the the the the thi. You of the most personal stories. What is it about the world you've left behind that you never leave behind? I witness a lot of that dichotomy living in LA because it has some of the most successful, comfortable, richest people, and then some of the absolute most impoverished and

displaced and unhomed. And watching those two walks of life coexist in this bubble is a real eye-opener because I've been on both sides of it. You know, I work at a resource center for unhombed young people in LA who, the facility reminds me of one that I used to visit, when I needed razors or I needed deodorant. I was like, you know, carving artist in New York. And I think it's about keeping yourself immersed in your communities and interacting with those people instead of just kind of living, only interacting with people who are of your class or of your race or of your, you know, that's like brought on your horizons, get to understand other walks of life and that gives

you perspective that I think is really valuable. And I'm still learning stuff every day that I don't know about people, you know. That's probably one of the things that draws people to you is, it stems from the music, but they will have a different reason for why they they they they they they thap th..... th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. And thi. And thi. And thi. And thi. And thi. And thi. And thi. And thi. And thi. And th. And th. And th. And th. th. And th. th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thee. to theee. to theee. toe. the. thee. the. theee. the. the. the. the. the. th you. I mean one of those has now been you know your new book, you know a collection of poetry and I'll start by talking about the cover. I was like this is a beautiful piece of art and I was like oh this is cool I wonder what this was I didn't know who and I was like oh you you did the art as well. So then I wondered how much art do you do the music so it's the music and then you paint the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th you the th I the the the th I the thus the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the c.eaug. the coo. the coo. the coo. the coo. the coo. the coo. the coo. the c. the c. the it's the music and then you paint and then you do poetry as well and then like what else? Juggling? What else is there? No, I, well gosh, it's funny, it's like all of my hobbies keep ending up becoming part of my job because originally, originally painting was kind of just the thing that I did for me for fun and then I started incorporating it into my work little by little. The poetry was kind of just the thing that I did for me for fun,

and then I started incorporating it into my work little by little. The poetry was kind of just like, I write all the time and I was like, some things you can't sing, you know, and I just wanted to put it out there and let people, let people have it and get to know me a little bit in this time where it's so difficult to connect with my fans the way that I'm used to. Because you know as a musician I really don't know when I'm going to be allowed back on a stage again. It makes me very sad. I love that you say that because when people ask me why I wrote my book I said well there's some things I can't say in my stand-up. There's some things that don't really have have a punchline. There's some things things that I that I thinks that I thinks that I thinks that I that I th. I thinks thinks that I that I th. I thinks thinks thinks thinks that I just that I just thinks thinks that I just thinks thinks that that that that that that that the the the that I just that I just that I just that I just that I just that I just that don't that don't that don't that don't that don't that don't that don't th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the the the the the the the the the the the the an the an the an the an the an theeeeeeeeeeeeeeee an theee an the an the an the an the an th people about. And that's what I wondered when I was reading through this because some of it felt like it could have been lyrics. There were some moments in these poems where I went, oh, this could have been a lyric to a song, but the poem itself is the poem. When you share what you share in your stories, you know, whether it's talking about going through a miscarriage, whether it's talking about some of the things thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, in thi, in thi, in thi, in their, in their their, in their, in their, in their, in their, in their, in their, in their, in their, in their, in their, in their, in their, in their, in their, in their, in their, in their, in their, in their, in their, in their, their, the. the. theateateateateateateateat, theat, theat, their, their, in their, in their, in their, in their it's talking about surviving sexual assault,

whether it's talking about some of the things that most people hide from even the closest human beings to them. You've shared with the public en masse. I know that it's therapeutic for you, but what do you hope it will do for others who hear your stories? Well, I mean, I certainly initially feel like I have a sense of responsibility because I do find that people in my position very often only share the good, you know? So I do feel responsible to share kind of my transgressions,

and my traumas, in a way. Obviously, I still keep some things to myself, because I have to have some boundaries. But I was kind of an open book from the start, so I, to to th., to to to th....., to to to th, to th, th, th, th, to th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to to to to keep to to the, to to to the the the the to to to the the the the to the the the to the to the to to to to the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the toe, the the, toe, the, the, the the the, the the the, theateateateateatean, tean, tean, tean, tean, tean, toean, toeateateateate, their, their, their, their some things to myself because I have to have some boundaries. But I was kind of an open book from the start, so I wanted to keep being that way. When I was growing up, I just, I grew, I was born in 1994. So you know, the pop star generation that I grew up with was very tailored and very sterile. And they were, everyone was incredibly talented. It was one of the greatest crop of, you,, musicians we've ever had in that era, that kind of like late MTV era,

but everyone was also very polished, you know, we saw what the record label wanted us to see. We saw images that were published in magazines and obviously that stuff started changing when the paparazzi era really evolved and then all the dark stuff was being shared when the artist didn't want it to be. It's so to get spent in it. So I think now it's about kind of finding a nice balance between pulling back the curtain in a way that I have control over. And also learning to keep some stuff to myself because it's healthy to do so, but I think my fans just deserve it. And also, like, it's getting increasingly harder to let people really get the way the way th.. And th. And that that that that that that that that that th and the and the and the and the and the and the way, the and the and the and the and the and the and the and the and the and thi. And, the and the and, the, the, the, the, the, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the way, the way, the way, the way, the way, thi.. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thin, thin, thin. And, thean. And, toean. And, thin. And, thean. And, thin. And, thin. And, thean. And, thi. And, just deserve it. And also, like, it's getting increasingly harder

to let people really get to know you with the way that social media is evolving. Like, I think you kind of have to keep adapting to let people in in new ways as the world changes. And this was one for me. When you talked about being bipolar, it was really interesting because many people have shared the story. Not many people I think have created music or created art whilst in a

manic state. I mean you said I'm manic and that's what that's what you called the album. Walk me through what that's like. What would you hope people understand about being bipolar that they don't get? My main goal in talking about it bipolar that they don't get? My main goal in talking about it was to get people more comfortable with the idea of talking about mental health because I find often that the conversation around mental health is very supportive in theory. And then when someone actually starts displaying symptoms of psychosis or anxiety or depression, everyone kind of goes like, ooh, that's a little, I don't know, that's a little too much. Can we go back to just talking about all the good parts, like the things you've overcome and how strong you are?

And it's like I don't always want to talk about how strong I am. Sometimes I want to talk about how weak I am because it's not always about what I've overcome, it's about what I'm still trying to overcome. And I think that's really important, because I just, I find that happen a lot where people will say like, you know, we need to be more accepting, we need to normalize this, we need to make this part of the conversation, which sounds good in theory, but it's like that's pretty performative if you're going to chastise or outcaste people their. ththeir symptoms. And that makes it harder for people at home who are struggling with mental health problems, watching you chastise people in the public eye because they go, wow, that's how they're reacting to that. I'm never telling them about what I'm going through.

So I try to, you know, I guess make it so I have a long way to go for figuring out what the exact science is for discussing mental health in a palatable way. And if I figure it out, you know, maybe all them being for a new career path. Well I'll tell you this, whether it's Halsey or whether it's Ashley or whether it's whatever other name, the talent's going to stay the same, so I don't think you'll be stuck anywhere. Congratulations on your success. Thank you for sharing everything with us and we'll see you next time on the show. Thank you for joining us. Thanks, John. Thanks so much, Halsey. Don't forget, Halsey's Poetry Collection I Would Leave Me If I Could Bea the show for tonight, but before we go, remember the thanks-and-I's, thin, thin, thin, their, thin, their, thin, their, thin, their, their, their, their, their, thanks, their, their, their, their, tho, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, to, to'' is to' is to'a, to'a, to, to. too, too, too, to to to to their, their, remember that because Corona is still a thing, there are a lot of seniors who are stuck at home who are greater risk than ever before, especially those who don't know where

their next meal is coming from. Now luckily, Meals on Wheels is out there in the streets, delivering meals to elderly Americans every single day to help keep them safe and nourished in communities across the country. Until tomorrow. Stay safe out there there. there. there. their their their their their their their their across the country. Until tomorrow, stay safe out there. Wear a mask. And if you see two swans out on their first date, then mind your own business. Love is love. The Daily Show with Trevor Noah, Ears Edition.

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