The Daily Show: Ears Edition - America Gets a Lifetime Appointment to Brett Kavanaugh News | Bill Gates

Episode Date: September 27, 2018

Spotify announces curated playlists based on customers' DNA, Brett Kavanaugh faces a third sexual misconduct allegation, and Bill Gates discusses Goalkeepers. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You're listening to Comedy Central. Hey, everybody, John Stewart here. I am here to tell you about my new podcast, The Weekly Show, coming out every Thursday. We're going to be talking about the election earnings calls. What are they talking about on these earnings calls? We're going to be talking about ingredient-to-bread ratio on sandwiches. I know you have a lot of options as far as podcasts go, but how many of them come out on Thursday. Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart wherever

you get your podcast. September 26, 2018. From Comedy Central's World News headquarters in New York. This is the Daily Show with Trevor Noah, Ears Edition. Welcome to the Daily Show, everybody. Thank you so much for tuning in. I'm Trevor Noah. You guys are amazing. Take a seat. Let's get into it.

Our guest to- Our guest tonight. thank you. Our guest tonight.. I'm Trevor Noah. You guys are amazing. Take a seat. Let's get into it. Our guest tonight, our guest tonight, you may know him from all of his money. Bill Gates is here, everybody. And he's going to finally tell us what happened to Clippy. I don't care how many diseases you cure Bill. That's your legacy.

But first, let's catch up on today's headlines. This week, the United Nations is having its annual meeting, which means leaders from all over the world are in New York City, which is great for me, because it means I can park anywhere I want, and I claim diplomatic immunity, just like, yeah, prove that I'm not the president of Kenya, prove it! Well, anyway, today, tod tod tod tod tod tod today, tod today, today, today, t Prove it! Well, anyway, today, President Trump chaired a meeting of the UN Security Council. And the good news is he now believes

that foreign countries do meddle in US elections. Yes, the bad news is he only cares if he thinks it will hurt him. Regrettably, we found that China has been attempting to interfere in our upcoming 2018 election. They do not want me or us to win because I am the first president ever to challenge China on trade. And we are winning on trade. We are winning at every level. I love how the one China delegate in the background is like, is this thing plugged in properly? Is this guy saying what I think he's saying?

Because this is genius. You realize that Trump is basically saying that if he gets crushed in the midterms, it's not because he's bad, it's because he's so good, China had to do something about it. And by the way, no one knows where he got this hacking claim from, right? He could have gotten it from the CIA, or maybe he just got a fortune cookie he didn't like. You know? Just like, God damn you, China, you're hacking me! Ah, I'm, yum, I can't stay mad at you, China. In other news, Spotify has just announced the future of music, and it's all about your past. Spotify is teaming up with ancestry.com to offer listeners playlists based on get this their DNA. By signing up through the genealogy company you can trace your family history and

inputs results to Spotify. It will then generate a playlist based on your family tree and listening habits. Uh, I'm gonna say no. Okay, no. Life is complicated enough. I don't need to get racially profiled by my apps. I don't need to be like, I see you're black. Perhaps you would like some hip hop. No, no, I mean, yes I would, but still, no. Like these DNA tests have gone too far, you know, I don't know what's the thea, I'm their, I'm the DNA, I'm, the DNA, the DNA, the DNA, the DNA, thea, the DNA, the tha, tha, the the tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, t, th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, t, t, th........ th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, ttttha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha know what's worse, finding out that you're genetically predisposed to heart disease or to limp biscuit. I don't know

which one it's going to be. But I have to say, I have to say, I don't think Spotify should give you playlists based on your ancestry. Comrots. I think it should be the other way around. That you're like, oh, I'm Korean. I'm part Korean. I think it would rock. And finally, finally, if there's two things Americans hate, it's Congress and airplanes. But if you turned one against the other, well that might just work out. Both sides of the aisle in Congress may soon get involved in the fight

over legroom on planes. A new proposal reveals that Congress is considering an order that would require the FAA to set minimums for leg room and seat whip. One senator says lawmakers from both the House and Senate agree it's time to address the issue of shrinking airline seats and as part of its funding bill Congress may also require the FAA to look into the number of bathrooms on planes. Yes, this is great news and it's also funny to see the range of issues Congress people deal with. You know most of them are like we need to stop the Supreme Court pick others like we need to end the Supreme Court pick, others are like we need to end the Mullah investigation. Then there's one goes like I want more legroom, more

legroom blades. Now I'm gonna lie, personally I don't really care how big the seats are on a plane. Life hack my friends once the seat belt sign goes off just go just go sit in the bathroom for the rest of the flights. Yeah it's like a private suite sure people bang on the door but that's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. to the to the to their. to to their to their their their their their their their their their to be. their their the the to be. their their. their their. their. their. their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. I that's why you bring headphones. Yeah, all right, let's move on to our top story. The big story today, like every day before it, stretching as far back as I can remember, is Brett Kavanaugh. Supreme Court nominee and the Brettiest guy to ever be named Brett. Honestly, it feels like at this point we've all received lifetime appointments to this story. Every day, there are more developments, including this bombshell, which Kavanaugh hopes will prove his innocence. In an attempt to prove he wasn't at that party with Blasey Ford, Cavanaugh's lawyers are

releasing excerpts of his high school calendar to the Judiciary Committee, details from the summer of 1982, they show chores, trips out of town, and social events. Blasi Ford's name isn't mentioned, but she has said she didn't know Kavanaugh well at the time of the alleged encounter. Okay, first of all, the only thing this proves is how badly people needed iPhones in 1982. Honestly, I was born in 1984 and I don't even know what to do with these things. I don't know how it works. It's just like, is is is is like is today? Is it going to rain? Useless. Useless. Anyway, everyone's been searching through this calendar for clues about Brett Kavanaugh's life. For instance, it turns out this guy got grounded a lot. And I can only assume for going to church too much.

Yeah, I mean, say some church for the rest of us, am I right? And some people are speculating that go to Timmy's for skis in his calendar might be slang for Bruce skis. Yes. And I don't speak duchbag, but I'm told that means beers. Yeah. Oh, and then I saw on July 8th, he had had had had had had had th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, thoom-and, thoom-a, thoom-a, thoom-a, thoomomomomome, thoomome, tho, tho that means beers. Yeah. And oh, and then I saw on July 8th, he had an entry that read, had an appointment with Dr. Strawberry. Yes, which I think is safe to assume was an acid trip. Because I can't imagine going to a doctor named Dr. Strawberry. Like, give it to me straight, Dr. Strawberry is it cancer?

Like, everything in this calendar is suspicious. Like, like here, on June, on June, on June, on June, on June, on that on that, on that, on that, on that, on that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's that's that's that's that's that's that, that, that's that's that's, that's, that's, that's, that. that's, that's, that's, that's, that, that, that, that, that, that, that. I. I. I. I. that. that. that, that, I. that, that, I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, I. th. th. th. th. th. th. thooooooooooooooooooooo. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Like, yeah, on June 16th, it says, he went to see the movie Greece 2, and that must be code for something, because nobody saw Greece 2. Yeah, that movie was so bad, John Travolta turned it down. Do you know how bad a movie has to be for John Travolta to turn it down? That dude did all three talking baby movies, all three, the third of which was talking dogs. That's how bad Grace 2 was. Yeah, but Brett Kavanaugh wishes his calendar was the

biggest news of the day. Because this morning, a third woman came forward with new and disturbing allegations from Brett Kavanaugh's past. The woman says in a sworn affidavits that in high school, Kavanaugh and others groped women at parties, spiked their drinks and their their their their their their their their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, their, their, their, thozy. thoomked. thoom. thoom, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, wa, wa, wa, wa, wa, wa, th.....e, thii, thi, thi, thia, thia, thia, thia, thia, thia, thia, thia, the, the, thr-n'n'eeea, thr-n'eaugh, thr-seea, thr-n'ea, thr-n'ea, wa, wa, wa, at parties, spiked their drinks, and then lined up outside their door to take turns raping them. And honestly, this one is so awful, it's hard to even know how to process it. Like, I don't think anyone really knows how to process this. Like, the Republicans certainly don't know what to do. Part of me thinks they're just going to show up to up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up to to to to show up to show up to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thii.e.e.e.e.e.e.I.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e. And, th. And, th.e. And, th. And, th th th th th th th th th to do. Part of me thinks they're just going to show up tomorrow with a different middle-aged white guy and hope nobody notices. I'm just going to be like, all right, we're ready to confirm Stephen Johnson to the Supreme Court.

And we'll be like, what happened to Brett? And I'll be like, who's Brett? Was he in Greece too? But as of now, even with all this new, they're still planning on going ahead with a hearing tomorrow, so hear testimony from Kavanaugh's original accuser, Christine Blazy Ford. And to their credits, the Republicans have realized that 11 men questioning a woman about sexual assault is not a good look, which is why they've brought in a pro. Republicans on the Senate Judiciary Committee, all of whom are men outsourced the questioning for Thursday's hearing to a woman outside

counsel. The lawyer who will be doing the questioning, veteran Arizona sex crimes prosecutor, Rachel Mitchell. Republican Bob Corker says GOP senators on the committee need to protect themselves from themselves. Inadvertently, somebody will do something that's insensitive. I would not be wanting to ask questions about something like this. Wow, kudos to the Republicans. They're like, you know how we are with women. We can't, we can't do this.

Like, we know. We know. Yeah, so kudos to them. They're getting a woman who's sensitive to these issues to question Christine Bresi Ford. And some people may not like this, but I think it's way better than their original plan, which was just Mitch McConnell pulling a Mrs. Doubtfire. Oh, as a fellow woman, I think you're lying. We'll be right back. John Stewart here. Unbelievably exciting news. My new podcast, the weekly show, we're going to be talking about the election, economics, ingredient

to bread ratio on sandwiches. Listen to the Weekly Show with John Stewart, wherever you get your podcast. Welcome back to the Daily Show. My guest tonight is a Microsoft co-founder and one of the world's leading philanthropists through the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, which just released its goalkeeper's report on youth population growth and how it will affect future world progress. Please welcome, Bill Gates.

Welcome back to the show. Great to be here. First things first. When the interview ends, don't get up and leave immediately because people think like we're fighting and we're not. I don't want to overstay my welcome. Yeah, you just like, I know that you have places to be, but everyone was like, Trevor, did Bill Gates, did you offend him? I was like, no. That's what Bill Gates does. When he's done, when thi, he's done, he's done, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, Gates is like, I'm out, I'm done. That's how you become a billionaire. Welcome back to the show.

Congratulations on another successful year of the goalkeepers event. Talk to us a little bit about goalkeepers because people know that you're involved in the philanthropy. People have heard of you and goalkeepers. We see fantastic names like Yarra Shahidi being involved, but what is your intention and people? Well, all the countries in the United Nations made a set of commitments to improve the state of life, to get rid of disease, to fix climate change, and those goals, sustainable development goals, we need every year to sit down and look at are we making progress. Right. We need to celebrate the heroes who are inventing new tools or doing work in the field and we need to see if people are falling behind, how do we double down on that? And. and the the the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the the, and the the th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and thi, and thi, thi, and thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, the, the, the, theateateat, theat, theateat, theateat, theat, theat, theateateateat, theat, theat,. And we need to see if people are falling behind, how do we double down on that?

And this is the one week of the year, because the UN's coming together, that we focus attention on these super important long-term issues. What I enjoy as well is I was lucky to be part of the event last year. And what I enjoyed was it's not an event that's focused solely on on the leaders of the countries but it's on the people in the countries who are leading themselves. So you you have an event where I think this year was over 400 people predominantly below the age of 40 and more than 50% of them are young women who are doing amazing things in their countries. What are

some of the projects that they're undertaking that really impress you? Well on the ground, the idea of getting new seeds to farmers, educating them so they can deal with climate change and have more productivity. There's women farmers are educating other women farmers. Women are creating women's groups where they come together, educate each other, educate each other about avoiding childhood marriage, talk about is the government, is the teacher showing up, are the vaccines there, and that kind of accountability really grows up

from the community level, particularly with women as they band together. And so that's the kind of movement that we want to scale up, and in fact, we'd love to see it all over Africa. It's something that's growing in Africa. And one thing that has struck me is you're one of the most optimistic people I've met and part of me goes because you're a billionaire. I mean I would look up and be like yeah I'm optimistic because of

that but but you've been on the ground for a long time and you've seen massive changes predominantly. the world to the world thr-s. I I I I I I I I I the the the the the thrown. thrown. thi. thrown. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. thea thea' thea' tho' tho' the. the. the. the's the's the. the's the's the's the's the's the's the's the's the. the's the's the's thi. thi. thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's the is the. You's the. You's the. You's the. thean thean thean thean thean thean thean thean thean thean thean to the thean. the said to me, the world is getting better progressively. It doesn't mean we can stop, but the world is getting better. But then I ask you, Bill Gates, why does it feel like the world is getting worse? Well, the nature of news is that you're going to read about a plane falling out of the sky or a natural disaster. If we go three years with no plane wrecks, when do you put that headline there? Extreme poverty has gone from 36% to 9%. And so every day for 25 years, you could have run a headline, 137,000 moved out of extreme poverty today.

That would be real news. And yet, it would feel kind of weird. And so improvement is this gradual thing. We've cut childhood deaths in half over the last 25 years. We've raised agricultural productivity. And there's a lot of amazing heroes behind that. And so really understanding this framework that we focus so much on what's not done, that we can miss the lessons of what really works extremely well.

That's an interesting paradox because it feels like that's the space that not just the general population is in, but also the president of the United States. Because Donald Trump has not been afraid to say he's not a fan of giving money to other countries, he's not a fan of foreign aid, he doesn't understand why America pays for any other country. I read an article in the Washington Post about how they asked you to come to the White House to explain to the president why foreign aid is important. And like, I would like to know, like, if you were explaining it to a toddler. How would you explain, how would you explain, not that the president the president the president the president the president the president the president the president the president the president the president the president the president the president the you were explaining it to a toddler, how would you explain, how

would you explain, not that the president is, I'm just saying if you were, how would you explain foreign aid to somebody? Why would you say the United States should help any other country and give them money? Well, it's less than 1% of our budget. When you ask people, they think, it's $30 billion a year. That $30 billion is keeping over 14 million people alive with HIV medicines. And if we keep them alive, eventually we'll have a vaccine and then we'll stop people from getting infected.

But for now, we need to keep those drugs going out there. It's something America should be very proud of. It started under President Bush, but it's been very bipartisan called PEPFAR. And so most people don't get to see these things in action, see how many kids are surviving from malaria, because those bed nets got out there, or those vaccines got out there. Melinda and I get to travel to Africa.

We get to look at this data. And, thank God, that that American that American that American that American that American that American that American that American that American that American that American that American that American that American that American that American that American that American that American that American that American that that that that that that that that that data, and thank God that American taxpayers are so generous. This is what can get countries out of poverty. Allow those countries to be self-sufficient and stable. That means we won't have to send soldiers there. We won't have epidemic starting there. And the world economy will grow and will all participate in the middle income or better life that everyone on the planet should have. When you look at philanthropy, you have to look at it through a very specific lens because a lot of people have a

misconception and that is those who have the money can just give it to those who do not and then the problems of the world is solved. But the truth is, philanthropy cannot fix these problems. So what are you looking to do? Because because because because because because because because th because th because th because the the the the, because, because, because, even, even, even, even, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, i, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, and, and, the, and, the, and, the, the, and, and, and, the, and, and, and, and, the, and, the, and, and, the, and, and, the, the, the, the, the, and, the, the, the, thi.e, thro, thro, thro.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e. And, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the truth is philanthropy cannot fix these problems so what are you looking to do because even if you gave all of your money to a charity the truth is it is a drop in the bucket compared to a government's budget any government in the world so what are you actually trying to do then? Well philanthby is able to take risks like inventing a new vaccine you know we can pick scientists and get behind that so we can add to whatever the government's doing there. We can understand these community organizations, give them some money and show they get

results and hope that the government will get behind those new approaches. The idea of improving seeds, actually the Rockefeller Foundation funded the Green Revolution that saved hundreds of millions in Asia because the cropseller Foundation funded the Green Revolution that saved hundreds of millions in Asia because the crops were so much more productive. Now we need to do that again to fight against climate change and the smallholder farmers will suffer from that. So we can make risky bets and if you come up with improvements, then you've really got to go to the governments. Because as you say, of the world economy, philanthropy

is 0.1%. Not gigantic, but enough to back scientists, enough to back pilot studies, enough to try and change the culture of some of these delivery systems so that they really work well. Over time, we'll get digital tracking in. So you can say, when you went to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the primary to to the primary to the primary to to the primary to to their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the the, the the, their, the the, to, to, to, to, to, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the world, the, the world, the world, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, they.... Ande. And, they. And, they. And, they. Ande.e.e.e.e.eck.coomeck.eck.coomeck.eck.calau.calau.e.calaugh, tooomeck.c.e.c. Ioome. Ioome. Ioome. And, to we'll get digital tracking in. So you can say, when you went to the primary health care system, were the vaccines there, did the teacher do a good job? So we need the governments over time to take on new ideas, including these accountability systems.

It's always exciting speaking to you. I know that the goalkeepers event is moving forward. I know this year you celebrated 100 years of Nelson Mandela and how he inspired goalkeepers. Looking at his legacy, looking at the people you've spoken to, what are you hoping that as humanity we can achieve in the coming years? Well, we had Grascia Michelle, who is Nelson Mandela's wife coming. She was so eloquent about how he believed in principles, and he stuck with them even when it looked bleak. So some things look bleak right now, some of the trends don't look all that good that humans aren't as willing to help each other

and take these kind of long-term views and solve these tough problems, but he was such an example and you know that's incredibly inspiring. I think the young people in the room were all tearing up as she to took took tod tod tod tod tod tod to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the trends the the the the the trends the trends the trends the trends the trends the trends the trends the trends the trends the trends the trends the trends the trends the trends the trends the trends the trends the trends the trends the trends the trends the trends the trends the trends the trends the trends tri. the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the th te te te. te. trie. trie. te. te. tru. tru tru. tru. tru tru tru tru tru thr-a thr-up and you know that that's incredibly inspiring i think the young people in the room were all tearing up as she talked about him and uh... how we should all take that spirit of sticking with what we believe in and and carry it forward thank you so much for being on the show thank you for being on the show

thank you for the bale and gaits foundation foundation the goldkeepers go gate gate gate gate gate gate gatekeepers, Goal Keepers, go to Gates Foundation. Goalkeepers. Bull Gates, everybody. Thank you so. Thank you so. The Daily Show with Trevor Noah, Ears Edition. Watch the Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central and the Comedy Central

and the Comedy Central app. Watch full episodes and videos at the daily show. Follow us on Facebook, the to to to to the to the the to the the to the the the daily the daily to the daily the daily the daily the daily the daily to the daily the daily the daily to the the Comedy Central app. Watch full episodes and videos at the Daily Show.com. Follow us on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. And subscribe to the Daily Show on YouTube for exclusive content and more. This has been a Comedy Central podcast. This has been a Comedy Central podcast. Hey everybody, John Stewart here. I am here to tell you about my new podcast, The Weekly

Show coming out every Thursday. We're going to be ell you about my new podcast, The Weekly Show, coming out every Thursday. We're going to be talking about the election. Earnings calls. What are they talking about on these earnings calls? We're going to be talking about ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. I know you have a lot of options as far as podcasts go, but how many of them come out on Thursday? Listen to the Weekly Show with John S