The Daily Show: Ears Edition - Bananas vs. Plantains I Hold Up with Dulcé Sloan & Josh Johnson

Episode Date: July 1, 2023

Dulcé defends her love for plantains and goes after Josh’s banana-yellow hoodie (yep, he color-coordinated, and yep, she went there). Josh and Dulcé also chat about whether anyone actually likes banana-flavored candy, how you CAN but shouldn’t eat a raw plantain, and why some people feel the need to hum while eating. Original air date: September 15, 2022. Hold Up is a podcast from The Daily Show. Listen to new episodes every Thursday wherever you get your podcasts, or watch at YouTube.com/TheDaily Show See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You're listening to Comedy Central. Hey everybody, welcome to Hold Up. It's a podcast that's a lot about nothing. I'm one of your hosts. I'm a writer for the Daily Show and I'm joined by my co-host. Dulce-slawn. What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? Ladies? How you What's up? What's up? Ladies!

How you doing? I'm spraying both my ankles, but other than that, I'm good. I mean, other than that, yeah, fire, doing well. Just out here, just living, dog. Shout out to City MD. Because the other urgent care I was going to, I think what, it was probably trying to kill me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me the the urgent care I was going to, I think what it was probably trying to kill me. But they gave me these braces to put on my ankles and my friend sent me, then my homegirl,

who I consider a sister, you know what I mean? They called this bitch my sister on a regular basis. This human being, you ever seen Forest Gump? Yeah. You know that part of the movie where he's running and his leg braces braces braces braces braces braces braces braces braces braces braces braces braces braces braces braces braces braces braces braces braces braces braces braces braces braces braces braces braces to to to to the to to the to the to the to to the to their their to their to to to their to to to to to to their to their their their to to to to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their? Yeah. You know that part of the movie where he's running and his leg braces start breaking off? Be friends with comics, they said. It'll be fun, they said. This heifer, not only first she sent me the voice memo, first she sent me a voice memo going run for us, run! So if you haven't seen my Instagram, this is what the leg braces look like, okay?

Strapped up, I'm iced out, you understand? Double strapped, okay? The blessing is every day I'm feeling a little bit better. I don't have a fracture, nothing. I do know I have a bone spur on my right foot. I don't know the fuck that is, but apparently don't cause a problem, so. Other than that, I'm straight, how are you doing? Are your muscles and limbs working correctly?

Yeah, yeah, I feel all right. So today, this week's episode, this chapter in our friendship, this crossroads that we're at, is bananas versus plantains. Because you tried it. Because I tried it. Because you tried it. Like a free sample at a cost coat on a Sunday. Try it. I like how I could feel, I can feel how you've been saved a better. I could feel. I could feel like as you were doing it, you were too excited for the steps. You like the here and the here, I could feel you waiting. Bro, you want to say it the other day when I said this and then you waited and then you did it just now. Because this is where it's applicable, but you understand? Like what I tell somebody don't play with me, sir? I did not come with a thap it it it it it it it it's thap it's thap it's thical it's thical it's thical it's applicable it's applicable it's applicable it's applicable it's applicable it's applicable it's applicable it's applicable it's applicable it's applicable it's applicable it's applicable it's applicable it's applicable it's applicable it's applicable it's applicable it's applicable it's applicable it's applicable it's applicable it's applicable it's applicable it's applicable it's applicable it's applicable it's applicable it's applicable it's applicable it's applicable it's applicable it's applicable it's applicable it's applicable it's applicable it's applicable it's applicable it's applicable it's applicable it's applicable it's applicable it's applicable it's applicable it's applicable it's applicable it's applicable it's applicable it's applicable it's applicable it's applicable it's applicable it's applicable it's applicable it's applicable it's applicable it's th. it's th. it's applicable it's applicable it's applicable it's applicable it's applicable it's applicable it's applicable it's applicable it's applicable. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. thi. I thi. It's applicable it's applicable it's th. It's thi. I tell somebody don't play with me, sir? I'm not made by Nintendo or Parker Brothers. I did not come with a controller or dice.

Do not play with me. You understand? You know what? We're not starting in a right place. Because if this is anybody's first time listening to this podcast, it's coming real hard, you know. There feels like there's a lot of aggression. Honestly, it's not the point point point point point point point point point point point point point point point point point point point point point point point point point point to to to to to to to to to the point is for the people to know it's where the people to know sometimes

to learn to educate okay this is teachable moments right uh huh and I'm gonna teach you why plantanes just don't have you know what I'm gonna let you start last episode I started no no no no no no go go no no no because you always for uh, last episode, I started with my vanilla. And you are the one that attacked me about this banana plantain shit. So you, uh, counselor. It's not wipe at the face.

It's actually just a simple wipe, you know, you counselor will start with your opening statement before I come before the juries and tell them how I feel. So go ahead. Talk about your little bananas. Go ahead. My little bananas. Okay. First of all, bananas, high in potassium, high and deliciousness, okay.

Can help you regulate your blood sugar. Can be life-s saving, all right? If somebody went into a bit of a sugar shock, all right, and you had a little piece of banana, you put that in the mouth and you make them chew it, you chomp, chomp their mouth for them, boom, they wake up like an episode of wishbone. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Not an episode of Wishbone!

I'm just saying, bananas, they also, where they do, they stay cheap, okay? They should actually be cheaper than they are right now, but that's the cartels business and I'm not gonna get into it. Hey, man, don't speak on nothing, that's none of your business. Yeah, all I'm saying is market price versus real price. They're very the the the the the the the the the the, the, the, and speak on nothing, that's none of your business. Yeah. All I'm saying is market price versus real price. They're very cheap and they should be cheaper. Also your favorite treats, don't they have a banana flavor?

I've never seen a plantain flavored candy. Okay. Okay. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. You, mm-mm-mm. Keep going. You know what? I'm gonna, I'm taking notes is what I'm doing. That's what I'm doing. You banana-flavor, kid. Wow!

Like, just so people know, in all the time that they'll send up and friends, she's never wanted to curse me out as much she does right now. Like, I can like like to to to curse to curse to curse to curse to curse to curse to curse to curse to curse to curse to curse to curse to curse to curse to curse to curse to curse to curse to curse to curse to curse to curse to curse to curse to curse to curse to curse to curse to curse to curse to curse me to curse me to curse to curse to curse to curse to curse to curse to curse to curse to curse me to curse to curse to curse me to curse me to curse me to curse me to curse me to curse me to curse me to curse me to curse me to curse me to curse me to curse me to curse me to curse me to curse me to curse me to curse to curse to curse to curse to curse to curse to curse to curse to curse to curse to curse to curse to curse to curse me to curse me to curse me to curse me to curse me to curse me out to curse me out to curse me out to cu as much to cu as much toa.cuse me out to cuss me out as much to curse me to curse way that I could feel her saving up that comeback, I can feel how much she wants to swear as she's calling it back, because she knows what it will look like to the people if she just starts cursing at me minute five, you know? About fruit. About fruit. So then it doesn't look like we're friends, if she just starts letting me have it with all the all the swear words in the sailors handbook in minute five right fruit over fruit so I appreciate the restraint but I can also see the pullback yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah what else what you got candy yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah tha, some of your favorite treats when it comes

to the puddings, all right? A great banana pudding, anilla wafer pudding, okay, a pie, cream? What, I mean, how many things, banana is so versatile, how many things do you want me to list? Where do you want me to go? Where do you want me to go? Where do you want me to stop? A banana split? So you're talking about the versatility. The versatility matters. It matters in the greatness.

Okay. Also, the accessibility is very cheap. All right. They ripen well. We're not talking about something where I'm . I talking about talking about talking about the the talking about the talking about the the talking about the the talking about the talking about the the talking about something where I'm gonna crack it open and then just scream in my kitchen like I've lost my mind. Okay? We can watch the banana ripen. Also, I'll even put this out there, all right? I'll wrap up the opening argument with the fact that when people even see a plantain, a lot of the world, a lot of the world, a lot of the world in the grocery store, seeing their first time, they're like, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their tham, their tham, tham, tham, thin, thin'a, thin'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'n, thoom.. And, th. And, th.. And, th. And, th.. And, th..the world in the grocery store, seeing their first plantain for the first time,

they're like, damn, that banana's big. They don't even respect the fact that the plantain is a different thing. I've watched people buy a plant. This actually did that boy my friends all time. It was very funny. He bought a good friend. And so I let him eat it. So like, so he, so he break over the plantain and he like, ugh, ugh, ugh.

He's like, oh, this banana nasty. Wow. And I was like, that's, it's because it's not. It's a different thing. Ooh. Yeah. Yeah. Josh Johnson. I didn't know it had it in you. He also kept calling it a planton, even though I said plantain from the from the job. People say plant and it runs through me.

Also, it's people when people say salmon. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, swore. Oh, you'll see a preacher, say sward, and you kind of stop respected up. It's usually a preacher, honestly. It's usually a preacher, and every time it happens, I hear swore, and I'm like, you haven't finished that book, don't do that. Then the book he means is the Bible.

Um, yeah, the swore of God will make me get up and leave. Yeah, the swore of God will make me get up and leave. Yeah, that's so what? Am I lived in a place like I'm originally from Miami, right? So I grew up in Atlanta and Miami and I remember hearing Strawberry, street, ambulance, library. And they were more acceptable to me than salmon and sword. Yeah. There's just something so offensive about it.

I don't know what it is. So John, I'm going to make you a crest and it's going to be a salmon with a sword going through it. Just on a strawberry? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. A strawberry handle. I can't. Just, I hear.

Oh, you see, got this squabbery crest with a sport and a salmon? I hate Josh Johnson. Oh, you just try to, oh, so this is my nook if you buck trophy. That's what you're trying to, oh so this is my nook if you buck trophy, that's what you're trying to do to me? Hey, it's not going to be a trophy, it's going to be a jacket. I'll wait till the very end of clothes but I will end my opening, yes. Because of how I grew up and where I grew up, I do about plantains very early, right? Now some people only know about the plantain when they get it with somebody Jamaican food or Cuban food, you know, usually like a Caribbean food.

They think they're only sweet. Right, only West African. Now some people, now let's go, so you mentioned the sweet, let's go into the versatility, okay? Now, a lot of places they just do the sweet and that's, in Spanish they call it maduros, right? And my mom made a lot of like Cuban food, Caribbean food growing up just because we're from Miami.

And so, we talk about the versatility. Bananas can only do sweet. That's the only thing they can do, right? I don't know why you side like that. I don't know why you roll your eyes like that because you, have you not had tosunas? Hmm? Yes, bananas can mostly do. Ah, ah, ah, not mostly. Because you got your, what you say? Banana flavored candy, which we all know is nasty. Banana-flavored runt, disgusting.

Slice and slander. Bans? Lies and slander. Unacceptable. You said lies, first of all. Lies, lies. Banana now and later's. Gross.

You all know, banana now and later is disgusted. The thing is, this, ooh, oh. Wait, wait, wait, wait. I let you make your open a statement I let you make your open statement I'm with you you were asking me a question I thought I was answering I'm gonna you right you right you right I'll stop we all know because I don't want to get too hot oh for you banana flavored go ahead go ahead disgusting we all know when you get you would throw them bananas across the movie theater. Gross, gross! The banana now and later?

Who wants a banana now and later? Ain't nobody eating banana now and later? I think they might even discontinue the flavor. Tell me of what other banana flavor candy is there other than the runt and the now and later? Who else out here making? Mamba is m banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana other than the runt and the now and later? Who else out here making? Mamba? Is Mamba making banana flavor candy?

Yes. Trash. Who else? You didn't even know until I said. I was asking. I was nasty. I believe Starbursts ain't got banana. The yellow is lemon. The yellow is lemon. Starburst had, the yellow is banana.

The yellow is lemon. The yellow's lemon? Yes! Oh, okay. Wow! You telling me your knowledge of a starburst is so limited that you did not know that the yellow starbursts was lemon? Wow. Wow. Wow.

There's banana flavored ice cream. Who is eating that? There's banana flavor with laffy taffing. So when you're talking about banana candies, you're really out here talking about the things that are thrown away the most often. Now, I'm gonna just let you go. Now, like I said, said, show me a situation because even banana chips are sweet.

So show me a situation where the banana is used in a non-sweet situation. The dehydrated banana chips are not as sweet. Because they're not sweetened, but they're still sweet. Mm-hmm. I mean, banana can't help the sugar that it comes with. Okay, there we go. Banana can only do what banana can do. And banana's giving you one note. That's not what I said. No, no.

I say we can't blame them for the sugar that it has. I'm not blaming them for the sugar that it has. I'm not blaming them for the sugar that it has. What I'm saying is because of the sugar that it has, it's only giving you one note. Right? No, no, no, no. Banana can only give you sweet, less sweet or a lot of sweet, right? Because you know when a banana turn brown, it basically just condenses down into nothing, right? Mm-hmm.

So, let's talk about of the versatility. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, my God. I really don't like how much you're enjoying this. You're talking to someone who does not fuck with bananas. Has not really fucked with banana since I was a child. Never been a fan. My mom would buy them and my brother would eat them, okay? And every time I couldn't finish one because, bleh. Now, your plantain, your platanone, let me tell you about the plantain, okay?

Let me tell what the plantain is doing in these streets on these islands from continent to siding sea to shining sea. All right. He's talking about versatility. Your plantain. Because you know when the banana's green you can't eat it right? You have to wait till it's yellow. You got to wait for it to get them little spots on it. Little speckled yeah. Little speckled, little freckles, you know, little pigmentation, little melanin coming up in your fruit. Before you can eat it, before it gets too soft. Your plantain can be eaten at all of these stages. You can need a plantain when it's green.

You need a plantain when it's yellow. You can need a plantane when it is brown and black and shit. In fact, you can get multiple things. So this is the thing, you can turn green plantains. You've got tosanis, right? Fried, you've got my fungill, right? You take you, you're sucking a little salt, smash it, boom, fry it. You take a plantain green, cut it up, you soak it in a little salt water.

Or you don't have to, you know, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you it up, you soak it in a little salt water, or you don't have to, you know, depends on what you're doing with your heart. Then press it down, put in some oil, boom, you can boil it up using the thicken the stew. Also, you can dry it, turn it into flour. When I do the Daniel fast every year, I can't use wheat flour. I got plantaintane flour in here making pancakes, all all th, right? Out here doing the work. Then, you know, like you could put it into a stew, thicking the stew up, okay, you do mfungle, you mix it up with some meat, put it on a plate next to some rice, bam, you're doing that, put in stews, put it in soups, okay? With a little uh, Yuk or cassava. You got some more plantains. Keep letting them get dark. Keep letting them get dark.

Put them in a plastic bag. Forget about them. Forget about them. Let that skin look like it's had a long vacation at the beach. I'm talking about black. I'm talking about my tumbo. You take it out of there, bam. And now it's that is is is delicious, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, that, that, that, that, thi, thi, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let that, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tha. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. now you've got Maduro or sweet plantains. So you see what I'm saying?

If I got a couple different plantains, okay? I can make an appetizer, a main course, and a dessert from one fucking fruit. I'm out here doing iron chef in this bitch with one ingredient, giving you everything that you need, okay? I've given you savary, I've given you sweet. Also, when you want to bring up a a a a to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the the the the the the the the the the tauantane tauantaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneaneane, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the ta, t you need, okay? I've given you savory, I've given you sweet. Also, when you want to bring up potassium, plantain has just as much potassium as a fucking banana.

What you want to talk about vitamins and minerals? It seems like... No, no, no, no, no, no, seems like I gave you everything. Oh, you're talking about how it ripens. Plantane's ripen the same way, a banana is the bina is the bina is thing is thing is thing is thing is thing is thing is thing is thing is thing is thing is thing is thing is thing is thing is thing is thi. thi. thi. the thi. thi, thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thiiiiiiia. thiiiiiiiiia. thiia. thia. thia, thi. thi. thi. Oh, you're talking about how it ripens. Plantains ripen the same way banana ripens. Because that's why when a banana is too ripe, it gets super, super mushy, and you can't do shit with it,

but either make a banana bread or give it over to somebody with no teeth. Okay, that's what you can do with an overripe banana. You'll overripe, fr fr fr fr fr fr fr fr fr fr fr fr fr fr fr frant. team, Friday bitch up. Fright up and you have a delicious treat. Okay, so I had everything you was talking about. You had everything you talk about, because can you deny, can you deny that the banana cannot do savory and sweet,

but the plantain can. What I'll tell you? No, no, no, no, no. What I'll tell you is that the banana, I don't see it doing savory. I also barely see the plantain doing sweet well. Okay, you got everybody fucked up. Everybody knows, you let that skin on that plantain get dark. You just let it be itself.

Banana gotta hop in the candies and splits, okay? All this other shit. Now, no, there may not be a plantain pudding that we know about, but there's a lot of products in the world. I don't know if people out here making sweet plantain pudding. I don't know, because think about how wild a banana pudding could be. Also, I'm surprised a southerner hasn't thought of this yet.

Like taking the banana and a banana pudding and like frying them up a bit and then putting them into pudding. You don't have to why the bananas and banana pudding just get mushy and gross. Yeah, it's disgusting. They get disgusting. You take them out, fuck him at your cousin. I guess my things, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, things, things, things, things, things, things, things, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, is just, and look, I'm not saying that it is going to always be disgusting. I just, the sweet plantains that I've had have been fine.

It may just not be for me. I respect that people like it. I like the people like it. I love when people like it. But for me, plantane can do savory. It's not really doing sweet. Not at the level of banana. Because the banana can only do one. That's what I'm saying.

The banana only has one gear. It doesn't have the option to do anything else. If you make banana chips, banana chips gonna be sweet or more sweet, right? It's not versatile. It's just not. It could be something you eat in your hand or something that you see. One of my favorite thing to see in a grown man try to eat a banana. Try to eat a banana.

What do you mean? Try? Listen, you know he really just wants to bite into it. Listen, you know he really just wants to bite into it. to bite it off into pieces and put it in his mouth like he's eating chicken nuggets, because he's not bold enough to just bite into a fucking banana? I think you need to start hanging around different men. This sounds like...

No, no, no, no, this isn't a man that I knew. I'm just saying, I don't, I wouldn't even want to be on the same block as somebody as to, to, to, as to, as to, as to, as to, as to, as to, as to, as to, as to, as to, as to, as to, as to, as a, as a to, as a to, as a to, as a to, as a to be as a to be as he, because, to be as a ba, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, to, to, to be, to be, to be, to be, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to be.. to be to be to be to be to bea, to bea, to to toa, toa, toa, toa, to toa, toa, toa, toa, toa, toa, toa, toa, to me. to. to.'t want anybody thinking that I... Listen, you've never heard a niggins say pause before he ate a banana? Not in person, no. Bro, it is the wildest thing. Sometimes I feel bad for men. Like, you just want to eat this thing sideways? Like, what's happening, bro? It's very... Sighting. Eating the banana sideways sideways. Oh, that's insane. So when we're talking about these

phallic fruits. Do you think then that if it was put to the people, which we will do at the end of the episode, do you think that as far as fruits go, bananas are more popular than plantains? I think it's because of the country we live in. Well, I'm saying in the world, though, do you think that, because you're telling me things about plantains that I didn't know?

So I'm asking. What do you know? What did you know? Um, the dishes? You were asking, have I had certain dishes that I haven't happened? You were asking me have I had certain dishes that haven't happened. Yeah. So I'm asking if you factored in the whole world, not just the US, and you put the two fruits up against each other, which one do you think would be more popular?

I think the plantain will be more popular because of the versatility of the plantain. Plantain chips and some guark? Oh, delicious. See, plantane chips don't do it for me. Like, yeah, there's just something that I- I've had some bad ones. I've had some bad ones that are crumbly. Yeah, I mean, I'm only having three times.

Huh? I've only ever had it three times. I can tell you if you want to try a good plantaint, go to Impanada Mama. They got a high quality plantain chip and that, you know, over at that joint and that organization. This is something that I ate a lot growing up. So I think it also is like your proximity to it, how often you had it as a child. It's just something you don't like. I don't genuinely, I don't like the flavor of a banana. I'm like the te plan plan plan plan plan plan plan plan plan plan plan plan plan plan plan plan plan plan plan plan plan plan plan plan plan plan plan plan plan plan plan plan plan plan plan plan plan plan plan plan plan plan the the the the thina. I like thina. I like th like th like th like th like the flavor of a banana. I'm like the texture of a banana. So I think I like a plantain because the flavor is more, because I feel like bananas are an overpowering flavor sometimes. Like, you know, they're like, we've got a,

we've got the, you have a smoothie, somebody, uh, smoothie places, and like, oh, we use the banana as a base. And I'm like, bitch, you can't the the the the the the the the the the the the th, th, th, th, th, th, the th, the th is the they, they, th is th is they, they, thi, they, they, the thin, that, that, that, the the the flavor, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, the flavor, the flavor, the flavor, the flavor, thananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananan, th... Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, I', I'm, thin, I'm like, tasks, tasks, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, tasks. tasks. t'm like, bitch, you cannot put enough fruit in this thing. For me to taste all the banana you don't put in this, bitch. Look, you keep coming at and disrespecting the superior flavor of banana. It's not superior. And it's anything that it takes over other shit. You see what I'm saying? If you're telling me that I'm going to get a pineapple mango smoothie, don't give me a banana smoothie with a suggestion.

Don't give me a, don't drop into my mind, oh bode. Give me a whisper of mango, an afterthought of pineapple. Give me the fruit. No, it's bananas overpowering. It takes over. That's why when I make my smoothies, my nutrition has told me to freeze the bananas. Not to change the texture of it, but to subdue the flavor of the banana,

so it does not overtake my smoothie experience. Help me out them. Why is it banana's fault? That the rest of these fruits are on struggle. Hold on. Now you know, a mango and a pineapple come out here kicking and screaming. Okay, don't act like that a pineapple get giving you colladas. They're giving, they're giving overpowered, aren't they?

Aren't they getting overpowered easily? No, me out. Why is that happening? You know what? I'll attract this statement, your honor, only because you know when you eat something and there's something you don't like in it, the first thing you taste is a thing you don't like? Mm-hmm.

Maybe that's what's happened. Maybe that's what I will attract my previous statement. But what I will say, what I will say is that the planting gives you a lot of flavors, it gives you a lot of options. It gives you a lot of things that you can do, that the banana does not. It does give you a lot of meal options that the banana does not. I'm not even disputing. I'm just saying if we're talking about greatness, all right?

Oh, God. Greatness, you think that a fruit you unzip is greater than this other fruit that you unzip? You know, you've got've given me is nasty candy. You know you got a nasty candy. I've given you peak flavors. Bro. Banana Lafay taffi should be burned in a trash fire. Anybody this is the other thing. This is my banana taffy shouldn't even be donated to the needy that's stop stop. If you're giving out banana candy at Halloween that call the the needy that's stop stop if you're giving out banana candy at Halloween that call the tops what you're saying you put a razor blade in my

apple I take a razor I would take a razor blade in an apple before I took a packet of banana laughy to have how and dare I think I wanted to say how very dare you so so look my things your thing you go no go to me wrong go ahead no no no no no no no no no to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their to to to to their to to their to their th no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th I I I I th I th I th I thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to you wanted to say how very dare you. So look, my thing. Listen, your thing got me wrong, I'm gonna go ahead. No, no, no, no. My thing is you can take a banana to the head off the rip when you unzip, all right? Plantain has to be manipulated. It has to be heated, it has to be dried, it has to be cooled, it has to be mushed, it has to be all

these things because on its own baseline, straight out of the earth, the way that the Lord gave it to us, it's all right, but it's not edible. You're not just biting into a plantain so that you get a hold to one. That's not what's happening. Well, not a great, but you can't eat a green, but the green, the green, the green, the green, the green, the green, the green, the green, the green, the green, the green, the green, the green, the green, the green, the green, the green, the green, the green, the green, the green, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the's apple. Yeah, but I'm saying even when the plantain is ripe and ready, is ready to still get worked on. It's still, like, what your fruit does is a relay race. What my fruit does is a sprint. Just throwing it out there. You can eat, you, if you want a banana, immediately. In the same way that you can eat a banana raw. Okay. Once it's ripe, unzip it, eat it, you can eat a plantain like that.

Most people don't. You can't. You can. I know what I'm saying you can, but should you? Just because you can do something, that mean you should do. Is that what you do? Are you out here just taking plantains as soon as you see them ripping them open, biting them down? That's not what you do. We all know that you got a little plantain get ripe, right? Okay. Even when it's ripe, right? Are you just biting into it or you

put it in the dish? There's other people to eat it another way. I don't eat sashimi, but there are other people out here eating fish fresh after I just hand in ocean. I'm not that person, Doc. So why do they art when they bite into it? What is that right now? What is that right now? That's a great question. You said it three times and I let it slide.

That is an amazing question for real. I would love if the first time you watch someone eat sashimi, they just to themselves quietly went, are, A, R, are, when you imitate somebody eating, does it make noise? Depends. There are some people, if I'm talking about how they were eating, I just make the face of how they were eating. But if I'm talking about like, okay, so this is, this is, this is very funny to me.

This is like, this is like peak funny to me. Okay. So my uncle, this is the same uncle that opened his foot with a microwave to take so tak. , tak. So tak. So tak. So th. So th. So th. So th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, thi. So, thi. thi. to. toee. toe. toe. toe. to. to. to. this. this is, thi. thi. thi. thi. th. bar, this is the same uncle that opened his foot with a microwave to take soup out? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Got it. If you are not aware of Josh Johnson's comedy, he tells a joke about his uncle burning his foot with soup. Yeah. Because he had a microwave on the floor, which is one of the most uncle things you can do.

Yeah, he just doesn't have his life together. He doesn't have a counter. Eddie does not have a counter? That's why it's on the floor. But he literally could have just used the box that the microwave came in. Mm-hmm. He has options. All he chooses to live like this. Oh my God. So yeah, his uncle uses his foot.. the foot, but, but, the foot, the foot, the foot, the foot, the foot, the foot, the foot, the th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thus. thus. thus. thus. th. th. th. th. th. that's, that's, that's, that's, that's. that's. that's. that's. that's is. that's is. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's. It's that's th. that's the the th. th. the that's that's the thus. that's that's why, that's that's that's that's like, but so he used the foot to take the bowl out the micro,

because he could have just been over, oh, this is why men can't be trusted. So then, whenever he's eating something he really loves, like loves, loves, for the bomb of his heart like a little kid loves, he can't eat something good without humping. So then, so then, they but it's not a musical hum. It's a creepy hum. So then he'll bite in some play. And it's consistent. Like a dying car from a distance? Yep. It's not a hum like mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. It's none of those. It's just him biting and just. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's It's It's the. It's the. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's not a hum like, mm-mm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, it's none of those. It's just him biting and just, mm-hmm. And if you break it up, he will act like he doesn't hear it. I do know when I was in college, that the first time I saw a grown man do that. This guy was like working with the the secret we was like in one of our shows we were like a grown adult man. He had ice cream and he had a song in

his heart Jack. Yeah, man every he had a whole little it wasn't a song but he was like mm-hmm I was like what's going on? He's like oh when I eat things that I like I like to hum about it I was like okay love your life for that did you see the things th th th th th th th th th the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the th. they they they they they they they they he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he they they they they they they they they they were they were the the the the the the the the theeeeeeeeeeeeeeee theeee theee he he he he he he he he he he he he he things that I like, I like to hum about it. I was like, okay, love your life, friend. Did you see the thing on Instagram where that were that bride, they were filled with that bride and she was enjoying her wedding meal. And so she was like, this, as she was chewing, and then she saw the camera, she was like, I thin, I think I saw her. She's like, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Listen, it's your wedding day and your food is good.

Bitch, turn up. I'd have been like, ah! Listen, if I get a wedding day, if the Lord provides, I'm at the fool of my wedding day, Jack. I might have a slip and slide in this bitch. I don't know. I don't know. I don't have the to have up accidentally being a wedding in the last two days. Who knows? We're gonna be eating, we're gonna be drinking, a DJ gonna be lit, there will not be a band, there will not be a band at a wedding. Oh, there's nothing more annoying than a fucking band in a wedding.

What's the difference to the... Don't do that. DJ. Don't do that. If the band is good, what's the band? No, because the band is limited in what they can play. How, but if you have a list. The band cannot play swag surfing, can they? We don't know that. Don't? Bring the right instruments.

Josh. Bring the swa. . the surfboard. Joshua Elizabeth Johnson. If you believe. Joshua, Elizabeth Johnson, I will not be treated this way. I'm fucking dare. Unless this is a band that can play, I gotta have a black band. I gotta have a black, not like a wedding band. Just like a black band.

A band that a black wedding, fuck out of here. Can't a band play to wobble? I don't wanna do this with you. You bobbing him electric slide. Ah, Elizabeth, I can't, I can't! Fucking ji-john. So you're just gonna go ahead and attack me off properly's. Probably can't electric slide. So I guess my that bananas are still cheaper than plantains.

Well, plantains aren't sold by the bunch. But doesn't that make them much more expensive by not selling them by the bunch? I don't know what's the unit price versus by the pound. The last time I checked, bananas were 29 cents a pound and organic bananas were 49 cents a pound. Okay. And so what are plantains usually going for?

The plantain is cheaper. Got anything else, Elizabeth? You guys are gonna re- I'll say this. I have been. I have been amazed. I'll say this. I have been amazed at how hard you have worked to present your banana argument. I have been amazed at how hard you have worked to present your banana argument.

I mean, you even wore a banana yellow hoodie. Mm-hmm. I came through, bully. Because you were worried I was gonna say something about this hoodie. I'm not scared to you. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Good, because people act like that I're not a nice lady, Josh. So, listen, we're going to kick this over to you, the listeners, because Josh, has really just dedicated himself to just losing.

What? has really just dedicated himself to just losing. What? the delay on that was beautiful. No. No. No. the delay on that was beautiful. Banadars are great. No.

theyntains are amazing and versatile if you want to be right don't let dulce a trash our beloved flavor okay well what beloved fruit our beloved potassium our beloved vitamin a plantains have all the vitamins and minerals I looked it up now when you cook them out now when you cook them out all right yeah I can take that banana raw all up. Now when you cook them out, not when you cook them out, all right? Yeah. I can take that banana raw, all right? You can eat a plantain raw, both people don't though.

You can, but should you? You know what? We're gonna see, hold on, hold on. If I wanted a bunch of sand in my mouth, I'd bite right into a raw plantay. You have decided. the same the same the same the same the the the the the the the the that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that bite right into a raw plant. You have decided to live like a savage. Really? Yes. Me? Yes.

It's surprising. I thought you were nice sophisticated man. But. Wait, wait. Okay. All right. I'm sorry, not for not for that. For your banana propaganda.

All right. Banana. You know, you know, we're just gonna, hold on, do people like bananas? I'm just gonna ask, I'm just gonna ask this internet. How about I ask the internet if people know what plantades are? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. I googled this. People also ask, what percentage of the population likes bananas, right? Why do people like bananas so much? Why are bananas gross? Why do not? The first thing is, on the urban list, 28 things only people who hate bananas understand. Now mind you, I don't like bananas.

I'll eat banana nut bread because the bread has found a way to really, to finally subdue the banana and put it in its place where it can help be a part of the flavor profile and not dominate it like a bully. So once again, we're going to kick it over to you, the listener. Let us know how you feel about plantains, how you feel about bananas, how you feel about them versus each other. Maybe you love both. Does one edge it out over the other?

And look, maybe, maybe you love plantains so much that the thing more than our argument could take into account, all right? I understand. I really do get it. If you th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho, tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho. tho. tho. tho. So, tho. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, thi, thi. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. So, to, the. I really do get it. If you love plantain so much that my immaculate argument fell on death here, so I understand that, right? I even get how maybe you could have been swayed by some of the lies and propaganda that my co-host threw out at Bananas.

Yes, all right. But I hope that you'll let us know how you feel. I hope you'll hit us up, tell us how you're enjoying the show. Tell us if there's anything else that you want us to talk about versus anything else you wants to talk about. What's on your mind? Why? Josh Johnson? . Tell us. Okay, Josh Johnson. Just living in a fool's paradise.

Tell us. How Josh Johnson is out here with his head in the clouds. All right. Okay. Your honor. Josh Johnson has not only defamed me. Slandered me. This is on record. This is on wax, so I think it's liable. Talking about I'm spreading lies and propagandaer, knowing good and damn well in his American

Christian mind, okay? That he has been coming from my neck the whole time. Man he's not. This ain't how we usually talk. This ain't how we usually get down. But Josh Johnson, it started to take things real personal Jesus. Okay. Don't you damn pray for me right now. Ha ha ha ha ha. I don't think anybody's ever said, don't you dare pray for me? I'm making my closing argument, shut up boy. Because I knew what you were doing.

I knew this prayer wasn't sincere. You were praying at me, not for you. Originally, it was my closing statement. But then the Lord fell up, the spirit of the Lord fell upon my heart. It says my ankles are messed up and I cannot dance like David danced. Oh, I know there are people on this, listening to this podcast, like, man, I know they're Christian,

but why they gotta keep talking about it. Oh, wait, they need me and rewrite. So I'm gonna run, they just th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, that, thus, thus, that, that, thi, thi, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, that, that, than, than, than, than, than, than, than, than, than, than, than, than, than, than, than, than, than, than, than, than, th, but why they got to keep talking about it. Oh, wait, they need me and rewrite, so I'm gonna run. They just text, but here, okay. So, thank you so much for listening to hold up with me, Dulce Slone and Josh Johnson. John's has some shows coming up. Please look on his website and his Instagram. He literally just ran out of the room. And just remember, to hold up. And just remember, Josh is always wrong.

Bye-bye. Everybody go.