The Daily Show: Ears Edition - Biden Impeachment Inquiry: The Hunter Biden Files

Episode Date: September 20, 2023

Republicans have opened an impeachment inquiry into President Joe Biden after months of investigations of his son Hunter Biden's foreign business dealings. Jordan Klepper hit up one final Trump rally before Election Day 2020 to hear what Trump’s supporters think about Hunter Biden’s laptop. Plus, Desi Lydic Foxsplains Hunter Biden, and Trevor recounts the FBI's investigation of Hunter Biden’s taxes and highlights the history of nepotism in the White House.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey everybody, John Stewart here. I am here to tell you about my new podcast, the weekly show. It's going to be coming out every Thursday. So exciting. You'll be saying to yourself, TGID. Thank God it's Thursday. We're going to be talking about all the things that hopefully obsess you in the same way that they obsess me. The election. Economics. Earnings calls. What are they talking about on these earnings calls? We're going to be talking about ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. And I know that I listed that fourth, but in importance it's probably second. I know you have a lot of options as far as podcasts go, but how many of them come out on Thursday?

I mean, talk about innovative. Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart, wherever you get your podcast. You're listening to Comedy Central. With three weeks to go until election day and millions of votes already cost, coronavirus remains the top issue for America. And any normal president would be laser focused on getting Corona under control, helping businesses stay afloat, keeping schools open. But Donald Trump is not a normal president. So instead, he's focusing on this.

With weeks until the election and trailing in the polls, President Trump seized on a report in the New York Post, published Wednesday, claiming files and emails were taken from a laptop that allegedly previously belonged to Hunter Biden. The report alleges that the former vice president used his position to advance his son's business interests in Ukraine and that both Biden's were not truthful about that relationship. The story sourcing has also raised questions about its authenticity as the files were given to the post through an attorney for the president's personal lawyer, Rudy Giuliani.

Twitter and Facebook have limited the distribution of that Hunter Biden story. And last night, Twitter appeared to suspend the Twitter account of the White House Press Secretary Katie McEnini when she tried to share that story. Damn, you know a story is shady when Facebook is saying, whoa, whoa, whoa, maybe people shouldn't see this. Because think about it, usually, people are posting about how vaccines did 9-11, and Facebook is like, okay, wait, wait, let's hear them out. Tell me more.

And honestly, it's insane that Trump's people are even going off to Biden by targeting his son. Like, if these were my sons, I'd maintain a strict kids or off-limits policy. Look at them. They always look like they've done some shit wrong. And this should also go without saying, but obviously, people should be skeptical of anything where Rudy Giuliani is the source. It just doesn't rule in life.

Never trust a man who dine and dashed on his dentist halfway through the job. You just don't trust those people. Now look, I'm not surprised that Rue Giuliani is trying to come up with something before the election. I mean, I get it. What I am disappointed by is that the Trump campaign is using the same story. Really? Hacked Russian emails? Again? You're just going to reuse the same October surprise? It's called an October surprise! Not an October. Hey, I know this one. It's not a surprise if we can see it coming. A surprise has to be unexpected. Surprise! But I got to say, I don't think this plan to get people caring about the Barisma scandal is going to work. Because who even knows what Barisma is? I mean, Trump himself can't

even pronounce it. Eight months after his alleged meeting with the Burmesea executives, so this, Bermusia, they say, pronounce it, Bermicia. A real beautiful company. Oh man, that was painful to watch. You know what that looked like? That was like watching Trump's mouth trying to walk down a ramp. I mean, how does Trump not know how to say barisma? When that's all he's talked about for years,

this should concern people. If Tony the Tiger was like, Frosted Flakes, they're grunk. You'd be like, I hope thiiiiii' this this this this this thii' this thi' thi' thi' thi' thi' thi' thi' thi' thi' thi' thi' thi' thi' thi' thi' tho' tho' thi' thi' thi' thoom-tha'er thoom- thoom- thoom-tha' that's like, thoom-thae that's like, th. that's like frosted flakes, they're grunk. You'd be like, I hope this guy's brain is okay. You okay, Tony? Yeah, I'm grump. The best part is, after Trump mispronounces the word, he then tells everyone that no, that's how you're actually supposed to pronounce it, which is the oldest playground move in the book. I totally meant to do that. That wasn't th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to toe. toe. th. th. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. to to to. to. to. to. to. tod. tod. tod. t. tode. t. t. tode. t. t. t. t. t. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. t. toda. toda. today, today, today, today, today, today, to. today, today, today, today, today I totally meant to do that. That wasn't a mistake. Really, dude? You wanted your pants to split open so we could all see your Spider-Man Undy? Yeah. That's how they say you do it on the internet. But do you know what I say? Enjoy it while you can, people. Because Donald Trump is the Michael Jordan of mispronouncing

words. We're gonna have to wait a whole other generation to get someone messing up words at this level. Even then, I still think that Trump is going to be the greatest of all time. You know, I'll be that old dude in a barbershop like, yeah, this young blood mispronounce a shit all right, but Donald Trump invented not making sense. Watch him them try and say barisma. Shagg-misma like that. This is the final week of Donald Trump's campaign rallies. So we thought, let's send Jordan Klepper out

for one more ride on the Trump train in another episode of Fingers the Pulse. After an historic 227 year campaign, I found myself at another Trump rally, one of three he was having in Pennsylvania that very day. And while there was still some of the usual totally realistic expectations, I'm calling 47 states for Trump. At this rally in the final week of election season, I noticed something different. It was... Quiet.

Are people just tired? You know, I think people are exhausted. Me too. And I'm ready to move on. I've been to a lot of Trump rallies before, and I have to say this is probably the most subdued rally I've been to. It's eerily quiet. You can hear a Q-a push notification ding in someone's pocket. This was a chance to hear Trump make his final case and frankly for Maga country to do the same.

It's about the economy. He provided jobs. When people are working and not out looting and burning cities. Historically, this presidency has lost more jobs than any other. That's not true. It's not true. He has not. He has not. Tony, I need my sheet. I'm going to give you facts. Give me facts. Give me facts. What's on the fax sheet? What's on the fax sheet? I'm going to show you. I'm going to show you. That fact sheet all the dead because that thing's going to be huge. Okay, jobs added 4 million. Under Biden and Obama, negative 2.8 million. What is the website you're on?

I don't know. You don't know. I'll have to Google it. Okay, so her friend didn't have the facts, but she did have the Zinfandel. Let's talk about African American communities and all the things we've done for that. Great. What is he done? With the, uh, with the jail people. You know, where he was corrected the, uh... You gotta help me out here.

Tony, come here. While I waited for Tony to get her shit together, I wanted to wrap my head around their Hail Mary October Surprise. And that's Hunter Biden and his, well, I'll just let them explain it. You can see on Fox and One American News about the laptop, the Hunter Biden's laptop, and then all the corruption taking money from the different countries, you know, from Russia and China, then Joe Biden would do whatever these countries needed. What did he do? Well, either what he did or did not do. What did he do?

So you have to be determined exactly what he did. I saw pedophilia and China, something like that? Do you believe it? I don't know. I have to look into a lot more. We see about like the Hunter Biden scandal. What exactly happened with that? I think they found a laptop that had, you know, emails and emails and stuff like that?

I think they found a laptop that had, you know, who was the FBI? They found a laptop that had, you know, get the investigation underway before the election. But what's the investigation on? It's a laptop? It's a laptop.

It's just that what was on. What was on the laptop? I mean, conspiracy theorists would say he said. Right. The conspiracy, some people... Because only because it hasn't been proven yet. Make a ton of money and do absolutely nothing except say, hey, you can meet my dad. That's a disgusting trade, right? To just use your father's name to make money off of that? Absolutely. Nepotism needs to be looked into big time.

Yes. What do you think about about about about about about about about about about about about about about Yvanka as someone who is following or creating and enhancing people's lives around jobs and training and whatever causes she has, just like Lady Diana had 20 years ago. She had certain causes, AIDS and different things like that she was involved. With Lady Diana seeking copyrights in China while she had a position of power? I don't know what you're talking about. As the horn rang and the masses filed into the last rally, there was a bittersweet feeling in the air. Folks are heading on in. This is the last chance for them to get unfettered access

to the President of the United States. After this, it might be through plexiglass, maybe with a telephone. If this somber attitude was a reflection of what could happen on election day, are these folks prepared for a world post-Trump? Trump could totally win. If for some chance he doesn't win, what happens to all of this afterwards? Me, personally? Sure. I will not live under a socialist government.

And just look up the three red flags. On the Biden campaign poster, there's the three red lines. Yeah. Look it up on Google. Well, I think it's an E. It's supposed to be an E, but look at the three red flags or three red banners. And they mean? Communism. He snuck communism right there on the flag? You got it. Really? You don't want to be in a place of socialized medicine?

Nope. So where would you go? I'm going to look at Costa Rica. Costa Rica, which has universal health care? Yeah, I mean, I'm just, I'm not going to live under socialist rule. I don't think Biden's going to make the four years and the camelback. Who's that? Kamala. Oh wow. That both mispronounced the name and xenophobic. Yeah, absolutely. Wow, that's a duper. If they don't take you in Costa Rica, I'm sure Argentina would welcome you and your point of view with open arms.

So the pitches have been made and the escape routes planned. Nothing left to do other than vote your ass off and hope we get the results soon. Until then, I'll be hiding out right here. Good luck America. Hey everybody, John Stewart here. I am here to tell you about my new podcast, The Weekly Show, it's going to be coming out every Thursday. So exciting. You'll be saying to yourself, TGID, thank God it's Thursday, we're going to be talking about all the things that hopefully obsess you in the same way that they obsess me,

the election, economics, earnings calls. What are they talking about on these earnings calls? We're going to be talking about ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. And I know that I listed that fourth, but in importance, it's probably second. I know you have a lot of options as far as podcasts go, but how many of them come out on Thursday? I mean, talk about innovative. Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart, wherever you get your podcast. For two weeks now, conservative media has been in a frenzy over a supposed scandal involving Hunter Biden. And since the mainstream media isn't covering this story, we made Desi Lydic watch Fox News for 48 hours straight,

so she could try and tell us what it's all about. So basically Rudy Giuliani obtained Hunter Biden's laptop, and the contents are so explosive, I threw my phone into oncoming traffic. Get this, Hunter Biden is communicating with known criminals from his email address, corruption do write Ukrainian money. Scam, and he's hitting up all the big time oligarchs. Vladimir Putin, Jonathan Barizma, Anthony Bouchikov, Liza Manelli, and he's making deals despite not even graduating from the third grade. Here's what we know.

In 2015, Hunter Biden, aka Hunter Pelosi bin Laden made $15 trillion by investing in a Chinese Planned Parenthood. One year later, Hunter makes an additional $19-Gabrillion from a Russian satellite dish. He's living on a yacht under the name Don Mexico and he hooks up with Merritt C. McCheseese of Moscow. Start the hedge fund with you guessed it, Hillary Hussein Clinton. Check the Hungarian bank accounts. Check Robert Moller's secret Tick Tock that receipt for cheese poppers from the apple the apple the apple from the apple from the apple from the apple from the apple from the apple from the apple from the apple from the apple from the apple from the Hungarian bank accounts. Check Robert Moller's secret Tick-Tock account. Check that receipt for cheese poppers from the Applebee's at Kia Airport. All this evidence, and yet I'm the one getting my house repossessed? That's the real malarkey. And by the way, did you know

that Malarkey is Mandarin for I will ban flaxing? Let's take a step back for a second. You don't think it's fishy that Hunter Biden is that Hunter Biden is that Hunter Biden is the that's then thinininin that's thin thiiiii. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thuu-I thu-I thu-I thu-a thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. t. t. thae. to thaea. to. to. thaea. thau. thau. thau. thau. thau. thaea. thau. thae. Mommy loves you. She just wants to warn you about Adam Shiff's pedopil ring slash casual burrito restaurant. You're not fooling anyone, Kamala, la la. La. La. Do you guys remember the 2020 presidential election? You know, it was the day when you voted for a president and a bunch of local races that you had to Google from inside the voting booth? Well, one of the stories we stories stories stories'd never have to hear about again once the election

was over, just came roaring back to life. Hunter Biden, the president-elect's son, says the U.S. attorney in Delaware is investigating his tax records. Sources tell CBS News, the FBI has been looking at 100 Biden's taxes since 2018. Under Justice Department policy, law enforcement didn't actively pursue the case during the weeks before the presidential election to avoid politicizing the investigation. That's right, people.

Apparently, Hunter Biden is under investigation for his taxes. And Donald Trump must be furious right now. Did you guys see that Hunter Biden is being investigated for tax fraud? I'm so angry. Sir, are you angry because you wanted to use it against his dad for the election? No! I'm angry because tax fraud is my thing. How's he stealing my thing? Criminals. And I'm not going to lie. Hunter Biden announcing his own investigation? Who, that's a pretty gangster move. I mean, usually you see pictures of people covering their faces when they run into court.

You know, they're trying to hide that there's an investigation, but Hunter's like a guy coming home late at night, like, oh, babe, you're gonna wanna go through my phone. Honestly, I think that in the end, this kind of scandal will be good for America. four years with scandals 24-7, we can't just go down to zero scandals cold turkey. And Biden's family is going to help us taper it down. Like right now, Hunter has a tax thing, you know, but it's just a tax scandal. Maybe next year Joe Biden asks the Ukrainian president for something inappropriate, but it's just the answers to a crossword puzzle. Just ease us off,

ease us off. Right now, look, to scandals. Now look, we don't really know what, if anything, this Hunter Biden story will lead to. But if he has done anything wrong, my advice would be to ask President Trump for a pardon before he leaves. And I know that may seem unlikely, but based on how Trump has been making it rain, anything is possible. Impeachment. It's democracies mulligan. For weeks now, practically everyone has weighed in on the Ukraine scandal.

From Trump to Pelosi to a cured rattlesnake, everyone except the man at the center of it all. Hunter Biden. He sat on the board of a Ukrainian energy company while his dad served as vice president. And now that Trump is using it to target his dad, Hunter is finally speaking out. Hunter Biden speaking out for the first time, defending his business dealings in Ukraine, saying he did, quote,

nothing wrong at all, but acknowledging to ABC News, what he calls poor judgment. Did I make a mistake? Well, maybe in the grand scheme of things, yeah. But did I make a mistake based upon some unethical lapse? Absolutely not. If your last name wasn't Biden, do you think you would have been asked to be on the board of Barisma?

I don't know. Probably not. I don't think that there's a lot of things that would have happened in my life, that if my last name wasn't Biden. Yeah, you know what he's right. If Hunter's last name wasn't Biden, his life would have been a lot different. For one thing, he definitely wouldn't have gotten into the Harvard School of Surprise Massages. Yeah. But you know, I do appreciate Hunter's honesty there, because he admits that he was probably hired by the Ukrainian energy company because of his last name. That's how the world works. A lot of

people get opportunities because of who last name. That's how the world works. A lot of people get opportunities because of who their parents are. Cindy Crawford's daughter is now a model. Andrew Cuomo's father was the governor of New York before him. And do you think Harry Potter would have gotten all that attention if it wasn't for his famous wizard? No, don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that he wasn't a good wizard, but he was like the only student whose name Dumbledore knew. He was like personal. Yeah.

Dumbled called Ron in Hermione, he was like Freckles and Girl Harry. And by the way, family names worked the other way too. That's why Ginny Weasley was getting eaten by snakes in the basement. It took everyone 400 pages to notice that shit. I'm just saying, man. The truth is your name could be a big, thiiiii in life. Like, I know for a fact, I know the only reason I got to where I am today is probably because my great-great-grandfather built the ark. Like, you know, I accept that.

What can I say, man, my great-great-grandpee loved boats and watching animals With that said, that's what he was doing on the boat. It's normal. Now with that said, with that said, you can't deny. It's not a good look that a Ukrainian company hired Hunter-Biden, just months after Joe Biden, became the Obama administration's point man on Ukraine, because it looks very much like he got this business because of his father's position. And I understand why a lot of people would complain about that. What I don't understand is why these people are complaining about that. Let's talk about the double standard. What do you guys think would happen if Donald Trump Jr. went to China and came back with $1.5.

No, not $1.5 billion, just $0.5. Can you imagine if I took $0.3 from the Ukraine or $0.4 from China? I mean, it's unbelievable. We gave up our entire business so my father could run for present. We don't do anything overseas anymore. We gave up. We didn't have to. Do you see me on any boards?

Do you see Don on any boards? Do you see Ivank on any boards? Oh, okay. First of all, I'm not surprised. Nobody has put Beavis and forehead on the corporate boards. That's not like, that's not like,thing. I don't even think they're allowed on diving boards. It's like, no, Eric, you're jumping off the wrong end. Jumping to the wet part, dude.

And secondly, and secondly, if there was ever an example of people who got opportunities because of their names, it's these two. I mean, Donald Trump, Jr. Just got paid $50,000 to give a speech at a college. If he wasn't Donald Trump's son, why else would they be asking him to speak? Huh? To share his expertise on bad beards? Huh? Or would it be more like, ladies and gentlemen, a man who once sat on a tree stump, Don Jr. He's like, so what happened was my bunions were acting up, and there was no chair in sight.

But then I remembered, someone once someone once tha are okay to sit on, thank you, good night. Also, also, if Trump's sons are actually concerned, like truly concerned about children of politicians doing business overseas, then can someone please explain to me why they've been doing this. Trump promised no new foreign deals, but that hasn't stopped his family from continuing business overseas. The Trumps have plowed ahead with deals in India, Indonesia, Uruguay, and the Philippines that were already in the works before Trump took office. By Wednesday, Eric Trump will have gone to four countries on Trump company business

since January 1st. In early January, it was a trip to Uruguay for a glitzy party to promote Trump-C. This morning, Donald Trump Jr. is in India to promote Trump-branded condos in two cities there. As a business, we're going to continue to run. We have incredible assets all over the world that will continue to operate and to grow. Yeah, that's right. Even with their dad in office like India, Philippines, Indonesia, Uruguay. They're all over the world. It's like the amazing race with no running and no chins.

Don and Eric are doing so much international business. It almost feels like Donald is just trying to not spend time with his sons. You know, it's almost like, he's like, boys, I've got a new business for you to take care of. It's on Mars. It's like, but dad, there's no way to get back from Mars. And I appreciate your sacrifice. Bye-bye. And I know this is crazy to say. I know this is crazy to say. But at least Donald and Eric are one step removed from the presidency. Because there are other Trump children who are in business and governments.

Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump's roles in the White House opened up another potential avenue for foreign influence. Officials in at least four countries talked about ways they could manipulate Kushner, in part by taking advantage of his complicated business entanglements. Ivanka Trump, took in as much as $135 million in revenue last year. That includes almost $4 million Ivanka Trump pulled in from her stake in the family hotel here near the White House, where diplomats and foreign dignitaries spend big money. Last year, China approved more than a dozen trademarks for Ivanka, the timing, just as

the US and China were trying to restart trade talks, raised eyebrows. Okay, come on. China approved a dozen trademarks for Ivanka right as her dad was negotiating trade deals with China. You can't tell me that's not suspicious timing. I mean, it's like how right before Christmas, my mom said that a horrible accident happened at Santa's factory. Yeah? How does this happen every year, mom? They need to look into safety regulations at the factory, I'll never get my toys. And China does not mess around with its trademarks. That's what you have to understand.

For instance, Michael Jordan had to fight for four years to trademark himself. Yeah, the Chinese courts argued that this was not Michael Jordan. Yeah, they were like, no, that could be anyone. They were like, they were like, thi thrown, they're thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. So, thi. to to to to to to to to to too. to too. too. too. too. tooee. toe. toe. toe. toeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeea. too. toe. toe. toe. day who knows that's me that could be me that's how crazy they are about trade marks and I mean that's wild this would be like saying that this isn't Don Junior I mean no one else has ever sat on a stump like that we know who that is stumped man stump man stump man now let's be clear let's be clear I'm not defending Hunter Biden I don't know him I don't know about his business all I'm I'm th I'm th I'm th I'm th I'm th I'm th I'm th I'm th I'm th I'm saying th I'm saying th I'm saying th I'm saying I'm saying th I'm saying th I'm saying th th I'm saying th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the. the. the. that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th th th th th th th the the the th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th't know about his business. All I'm saying is that the last people who should be talking about the blurred lines of family names and political influence

are the people currently running their home office from the White House. Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by searching the Daily Show, wherever you get your podcast. Watch the Daily Show week nightsights at 11 10 Central on Comedy Central and stream full episodes anytime on Fairmount Plus. This has been a Comedy Central Podcast. Hey everybody, John Stewart here. I am here to tell you about my new podcast, the weekly show. It's going to be coming out every Thursday. So exciting. You'll be saying yourself, T-G-I-I.G-I.I.I.G.I. I'm here to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their- to be coming out every Thursday. So exciting you'll be saying yourself TGID. Thank God it's Thursday. We're going

to be talking about all the things that hopefully obsess you in the same way that they obsess me. The election economics, earnings calls. What are they talking about on these earnings calls? We're going to be talking about ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. And I know that I listed that fourth, but in importance it's probably second. I know you have a lot of options as far as podcasts go, but how many of them come out on Thursday? I mean, talk about innovative. Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart, wherever you get your podcast.