The Daily Show: Ears Edition - Brett Kavanaugh's Virginity Defense | M.I.A.

Episode Date: September 26, 2018

Brett Kavanaugh insists that he was a virgin in college, Neal Brennan calls out Christian Republicans for backing Trump, and M.I.A. discusses "Matangi / Maya / M.I.A." Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You're listening to Comedy Central. Hey everybody, John Stewart here. I am here to tell you about my new podcast, The Weekly Show, coming out every Thursday. We're going to be talking about the election earnings calls. What are they talking about on these earnings calls? We're going to be talking about ingredient-to-bread ratio on sandwiches. I know you have a lot of options as far as podcasts go, but how many of them come out on Thursday?

Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart, wherever you get your podcast. September 25th, 2018. From Comedy Central's World News headquarters in New York, this is the Daily Show with Trevor Noah, Ears Edition. Yeah! Welcome to the day show everybody. Thank you so much for tuning in. I'm trying to know it. I will guess tonight. I know many of your fans, singer and rapper, MIA is joining us on the show. She's the subject of a new documentary and all we're going to do is chat, chat, chat, chat, Anna, and take him. Sorry, the rest of the show will be better.

The rest of the show will be much better. All right, before we get into that, let's catch up on today's headlines. In political news, Texas Senator Ted Cruz was at a restaurant last night when some protesters ordered him to go. And this was caught on camera on ca on ca on ca on ca ca ca ca ca ca ca ca ca ca ca ca ca ca ca ca ca ca ca ca ca ca ca ca ca the ca the ca the c. the c. the c. the c. the c. the c. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thus, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to, to to to to to to t. to to t. to to toda. toda. today, today, today, today, today, to go. And this was caught on camera, the Kavanaugh controversy forcing Texas Senator Ted Cruz to leave a D.C. restaurant last night. Take a listen. We believe survivors. We believe survivors. We believe survivors. Oh, come on people, don't kick Ted Cruz out of a restaurant. Now he's just going to be eating a stray cat. Oh, come on people, don't kick Ted Cruz out of a restaurant.

Now he's just going to be eating a stray cat. No, no, no, and by the way, don't feel bad for Ted Cruz. That was probably the best night of his life. Like in the car ride home, his wife was like, why are you smiling? He was like, we just got kicked out of that restaurant. Last time they kicked me out, it was just because of Kthat restaurant. Last time they kicked me out it was just because I was Ted Cruz. Now it's because of Kavanaugh. I'm moving up, baby. In other news, a man who's hated almost as much as Ted Cruz, Bill Cosby. Today, a judge in Pennsylvania sentenced America's dad to three to ten years in prison.

Yeah, the one upside for Cosby is that they're already making him a personalized jumpsuit. No. Moving on. Nelson Mandela. In South Africa, he's a hero politician who fought for the rights of black people. In America, he's a guy who had some cool birthday concerts. And at the United Nations, he's now a statue. The world leaders kicked off their annual gathering at the UN honoring the legacy of Nelson Mandela, a global icon of

peace and reconciliation. The UN today unveiled a life-size statue of Mandela with outstretched arms. South Africa donated the statue in commemoration of 100 years since Mandela's birth. This is so exciting. There's now a Nelson Mandela statue at the UN and And I've got to say, this is an interesting pose that they chose. It's like he knows he's in America and he's ready for the police. Like, no, because in South Africa, we've got a ton of Mandela statues. And normally they're like, you know, it's like, ah, freedom, let's dance. Or it's like, power to the pitball. But in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's th. It's th. It's. It's th. It's. It's th. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's the the the the the th. It's like, ah, freedom, let's dance, you know? Or it's like, power to the pit bull. But in New York, he's like, don't shoot. I'm already dead, but I'm not taking chances.

Don't shoot. All right, let's move on. Tell it's our story. Supreme Court nominee, Brett Kavanaugh. Over the past week, he's been fighting back against multiple sexual And last night he did something that no Supreme Court nominee has ever done before. He went on TV to reassure the nation that he is not a sexual predator. I've never sexually assaulted anyone, not in high school, not ever. I've always treated women with dignity and respect.

I've always treated women with dignity and respect. What I know is I've always treated women with dignity and respect. What I know is I've always treated women with dignity and respect. We get it, dignity and respect. This guy's repeating that phrase like it's a vodka brand that pays him for product mentions. Whenever I'm at a prep school party, I always treat women with dignity and respect. Now, don't get me wrong. I think everyone should be treating women with dignity and respect. I just don't buy it when Kavanaugh says that he's always treated women with dignity and respect. And I say that because his yearbook says otherwise.

The New York Times reporting that one of the dozens of women who signed a letter to Senator Supporting Kavanaugh has now learned he sexually demeaned her in his Georgetown Prep School year book. Renata Dolphin, then Renada Schroeder, attended a nearby Catholic girl school. Kavanaugh included her name in the phrase Renata alumnus in his yearbook entry. Now two of Cavana's classmates told the times that student athletes often mentioned Renata as part of boasting about supposed conquests. Renata released a statement to the New York Times saying in part, I can't begin to comprehend what goes through the minds of 17-year-old boys who write such things, but the insinuation is horrible, hurtful, and simply untrue.

I pray their daughters are never treated this way. Yeah, so in his yearbook, Kavanaugh went out of his way to portray this woman as the village bicycle, by implying that him and all of his football teammates had slept with her. Like, you can't do that and say that you've always treated women with dignity and respect, right? It's like if type 2 diabetes tweeted, hashtag black lives matter. No, no, Mr. Diabetes, your track record says otherwise. And I'm going to be honest. I'm going to be honest. As a man, I haven't always treated women with dignity and respect,

so I'm not trying to throw the first stone. What I'm saying, though, is, Kevin was trying way too hard to convince everyone that not only did he not assault anyone, he's always been a living saint. saints. When I was in high school and I went to an all boys Catholic high school, a Jesuit high school where I was focused on academics and athletics, going to church every Sunday at Little Flower, working on my service projects and friendship. See, that's where I call bullshit. Either you were a kid who focused on service projects or you had friends. It's never both.

You've got to choose. And the thing is, the thing is we know that in his yearbook, Kavanaugh says that he was part of the 100 kegs or bus club. We know that his college roommate says that he was regularly drunk and belligerent, or as it's known in college, normal, but it seems like Kavanaugh is so desperate to get this gig that he that he that he that he that he that he to say to say in college, normal. But it seems like Kevin was so desperate to get this gig that he's willing to say anything. And I mean anything.

I've never sexually assaulted anyone. I did not have sexual intercourse or anything close to sexual intercourse in high school or for many years thereafter. And the girls from the schools I went to and I were friends. So you're saying that all through all these years that are in question you were a virgin? That's correct. Never had sexual intercourse with anyone in high school? Correct. And through what years in college since we're probing into your personal life

years? Many years after, I'll leave it at that. Man, life comes at you fast. A week ago this guy was cruising to a lifetime on the Supreme Court, and now he's on TV like, I was a virgin well into adulthood, okay? Is that what you want to hear? Have I embarrassed myself enough for you? And she's like, so you're a virgin? I just told you I was a virgin. But like a virgin, yeah I was a virgin. Yeah, I was a virgin! So, that's the latest, that's the latest on the Brett Kavanaugh story.

We've gone from, I never sexually assaulted anyone to, I was a virgin for most of my life. For more in this development, we turn to our chief Supreme Court analyst, Dulce Sloan everybody. Hello. Hello. What do you, what do you make of these new developments? Trevor, this whole situation has become messier than my purse when I try to sneak spaghetti into the movie theater. And don't judge me?

Ten dollars for popcorn? No, I can make that shit at home. But my saucy handbag aside. It's become clearer and clearer every day that the Republican Party needs to find a replacement nominee. So you think these sexual assault allegations are disqualifying? Yes, Trevor, but I think of being a virgin is also disqualifying. I don't want no virgin on the Supreme Court. A virgin deciding our reproductive rights.

Are you serious? How are you going to tell a college girl what to do with her vagina when you never met college vagina? I mean. Trevor, would you want someone decided on health care who's never seen a doctor? No, you want someone who's had sex with a doctor. Only doctors, you know, getting that full coverage. I don't even know what that means. Yes, you do.

But Judge Kavanaugh said he was a virgin then. He's not a virgin now. How you know? You sleep with him? Well, not yet, but I know he's not a virgin. I mean, he has kids. Plenty people got kids. Michael Jackson had kids.

And we all know he wasn't Shimonin' anybody's he-hee! No. No. Now. Give me 15 minutes. I can get you a kid, 20 if you want twins. You ask me, that man's still a virgin. So, so your biggest issue here is his virginity? I got three issues.

His stance on women's rights, strike one. The sexual assault allegations strike two. And this fool being a virgin, uh-uh, you're out. Look, I don't want a sexual predator, but I also don't want a virgin. Okay. I want that Goldilocks, but I also don't want a virgin. Okay? I want that Goldilocks, Judge.

You know, just right. I see, so, so you want a Supreme Court judge who's getting laid but consensually. Mm-hmm. You know, like'll be right back. Welcome back. Despite the news about Brett Kavanaugh's sexual misconduct allegations and his history of drinking and partying, he still has the support of 70% of Republicans, which is surprising, considering Republicans traditionally associate themselves with Christian values.

You know, it would be like Barney teaching you how to smoke meth. For more on this, we turn to my good friend, Neil Brennan, everybody. Neil, what do you make in this whole situation? Trevor, as an atheist, I'm about to say something that I thought I would never say. Republicans, y'all need Jesus. Wow. Wow, I, I, uh, I never thought you say that either because you don't believe in Jesus. I know, like many atheists, I grew up Catholic.

I went through all the sacraments, baptism, first communion, and of course, molestation. I'm kidding, I was never baptized. And as an atheist, I used to think that Republicans were too fixated on Jesus, but it turns out, he the only thing keeping them in check because now Republicans have dropped him completely and they're about as interested in morality as Steve Bannon is in face cream. Look at how they're defending Brett Kavanaugh. It's just a shame that a person like Judge Kavanaugh who has a stellar record that somebody can bring something up that he did when he was a teenager close to 40 years ago. That's not relevant. We're talking about a 15-year-old girl, which I respect. You know, I'm a woman, I respect.

We're talking about a 17-year-old boy in high school with testostero running eye. Tell me what boy boy hasn't done this in high school. Please, I would like to know. But in the grand scheme of things, my goodness, there was no intercourse. There was maybe a touch. Can we, really, 36 years later? She's still step on that? What, Republican woman used to be a bunch of church ladies, and now they're basically Lindsay Lohan's mom. Instead of preaching chastity, they're like, hand stuff's okay. It wasn't always like this. Back when Republicans rolled with Jesus, you guys were all about principles and values. You impeached the president over it, remember? You don't even have to be convicted of a crime to lose your job in this constitutional

republic. If this body determines that your conduct as a public official is clearly out of bounds in your role, because impeachment is not about punishment. Impeachment is about cleansing the office. Impeachment is about restoring honor and integrity to the office. Cleansing the office, if you're worried about that after Clinton, you've got your work cut after you after Trump too. Even if you got rid of Trump today, cleansing the Oval Office will take years. I mean the self-panor, the Kentucky fried chicken grease.

And you know anytime Eric goes to the bathroom, he misses the Kentucky Fried Chicken Grease. And you know any time Eric goes to the bathroom, he misses the bowl completely. Now, I'd ask Republicans, hey, when did you guys and Jesus split up? But we all know the answer. It started when that orange balloon animal rode down that escalator, and suddenly any behavior was acceptable. To hold somebody accountable for something he did years ago as our president today, I think

it's such a bad precedent. It's not a big surprise that he is crude and he's vulgar. We all knew that. We knew he wasn't a Sunday school teacher. If you don't like me working with President Trump to make the world a better place, I don't give me working with President Trump to make the world a better place? I don't give a shit. Oh Lindsay, what has Trump done to you? You went from honor and morality to I don't give a...

I don't even want to say that word. I'm just so fucking disappointed. And it's not just the politicians, it's Republican voters too. They backed Trump on paying off porn stars, praising dictators. They were even cool with separating families at the border. Is there a commandment I don't know about that says honor thy mother and father unless they cometh from a shit-hole country? Republicans, y'all need Jesus.

Otherwise, don't be surprised when you get to the pearly gates, and St. Peter is like, uh, sorry, buddy, you gotta get on that down escalator. God bless you, Neil. You can find all of Neil's two nights. So Neil Brennan. Don't go away. We'll be right back. Hey, everybody, John Stewart here. I am here to tell you about my new podcast, The Weekly Show, coming out every Thursday.

We're going to be talking about the election. Earnings calls. What are they talking about on these earnings calls? We're going to be talking about ingredient-to-bread ratio on sandwiches. I know you have a lot of options as far as podcasts go, but how many of them come out on Thursday? Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart, wherever you get your podcast. Welcome back to the Daily Show.

My guest tonight is a critically acclaimed musician, artist and activist who's the subject of the new documentary, Matangi, Maya, MIA. Please welcome, MIA! Welcome to the show. Sure you want me on the hand. Oh, of course I want you on the show. Are you kidding me? Uh, you are a fantastic artist who has blown up all over the globe, and honestly, there are a few people. there, there, there are a fiegist, their the, course I want you on the show. Are you kidding me? You are a fantastic artist who has blown up all over the globe

and honestly there are a few people whose documentaries I've seen that cover so much of their lives. Like the movies called Matangi, Maya, MIA. They're all you, but do you see them as separate stories? Do you think each name represents a different part of your life? Watching it now, yeah. Right. It's kind of weird because it's backwards, because I discovered the meaning of Matangi later on. But yeah, the first 10 years I spent in Sri Lanka, that's what I was called.

And then the next 10 years, my name was Maya. But it was made up. And it's a fake name. But it's nice because it means illusion. So it kind of worked out. It kind of works out completely. Yeah, and then I became MIA, which is when people kind of knew me in the world. Yeah.

It's a journey that not many people have been on. The journey from being a refugee, fleeing a country because of a civil war, moving to another country where you not only are facing the history of the place you have left, but now also anti-immigrant sentiment and the place that you've now moved on to. Do you think a lot of that journey formed how you created the art that you created?

Yeah, I think you can say conflict is like the subject matter. People say it's chaos, but it's not. It's conflict and contradictions. In some ways your music for me is a contradiction which is why it works so well. So, you know, when you look at the songs that you create and the message behind them, all I want to do is take your money. I was singing that song before I knew what it meant before. Like people were enjoying it in clubs and their cars everywhere. And then when I found out the message behind it, I was like,

wow, this is a song, and the message, and the message, and the message, and the message, and the message, and the message, and the message, and the message, and the message, and the message is basically the idea that people have of immigrants in almost every country Which is all the people are doing is coming here to take out jobs to take our money to take what is ours But those same people who may have that anti-immigrant sentiment were singing your song without even realizing that it was a play on that idea So like that's that's a big part of or in my opinion of what M. I. I. I somebody who loves the music, but you're also somebody who speaks to your political beliefs, which is extremely polarizing. Do you ever worry about ostracizing some of your fans, or is that not an issue for you? In the film, there's a scene where I listen to Bob Dylan,

and I come from that sort of like romantic thinking where I think that music can be political and that it had an effect on the time when America went Had the Vietnam War right and it was a normal thing and then obviously if you listen to a lot of hip-hop. I think it was very like political And then I came after that in you know the early 2000s, and I just felt that it was an extension and that it's possible to be political. One thing I found really beautiful about the film is you have put together, or the filmmaker has 900 hours of footage that you have of yourself from the time you were really young.

Like when you were creating this footage, when you were recording yourself and your family, did you have an inkling of where your life would go or did you just have a fascination with the arts and and pictures and video? Like was there a part of you that went like, oh yeah I'm recording this now because I'm gonna like blow up all over the world one day and it's gonna make a dope documentary. No, I just like cameras at all, you know, and it was like when you're poor that was like a really good therapy thing when you could document it and then see yourself. Right. And so I was like, oh I could sneak like you know my family into sort of having free therapy if I just bought in the camera and

film them, talking shit and then... Well can I just bought in the camera and film them Talking shit, and then Well, can I honestly it's a beautiful documentary that that takes us on a wonderful journey. Thank you so much for being on the show Thanks, I have you Yeah The comedy Maya, MIA, we'll be in the seetem September 28th. M.I.I. everybody The Daily Show with Cover Noa, Ears Edition. Watch the Daily Show Weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central and the Comedy Central app.

Watch full episodes and videos at the Daily Show. to follow us on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and subscribe to the Daily Show on YouTube for exclusive content and more. This has been a Comedy Central podcast. John Stewart here. Unbelievably exciting news. My new podcast, The Weekly Show, the Weekly Show. We're going to be talking about the election, economics, ingredient to bread ratio,

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