The Daily Show: Ears Edition - Chicken Soup vs. Tomato Soup - Hold Up with Dulcé Sloan & Josh Johnson

Episode Date: August 30, 2022

What is the best comfort food: chicken soup or tomato soup? Daily Show correspondent Dulcé Sloan and Daily Show writer Josh Johnson debate which soup is more healing, what should definitely not go in a chicken soup recipe, and what counts as tomato soup. (Hint: most everything with tomatoes counts as tomato soup, according to Josh.) More Hold Up with Dulcé Sloan & Josh Johnson: https://podcasts.iheartradio.com/HoldUpSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You're listening to Comedy Central. Now, you're listening to Comedy Central. Now, you remember before the pandemic you can stand around a water cooler and talk to your coworkers? Well, we used to call it water cooler conversations, we used to call it water cooler conversations, even though there was never really a water cooler there. Anyway, two of my good friends, daily show correspondent Dolce Sloan and daily show writer Josh Johnson Are known around the building for their water cooler conversations and they turn it into a podcast this is your chance to hear these two people go back and forth the way we get to hear it all the time in the hallway the podcast is called Hold Up. Have a listen. You know, there's a lot going on in the world. But we have a big opinions on pretty small things. You know, there's a lot going on in

the world, but we take a break from that to argue, debate, go back and forth about things about things that all of us care about but just not that much. I am your host Josh Johnson, writer for the day of show joined by your co-host, Doolsay Sloan. Right, because you definitely are leading this podcast, because if it was up to me we would never stay on task. For instance, did you know Norman Lear is a hundred years old today? So Norman Lear sounds like the name of a Shakespeare play. Like I know there's King Lear, but Norman Lear has been around so long that I thought

Norman Lear was the name of the play until just now. I remember that it was an actor. That's wild. No one of the actor, he's like a producer and stuff. Oh, I thought Norman Lear, wow, I've had it wrong for so long. Bro, Norman Lear gave us all of the family, Maud, Sanford and son, one day at a time, the Jefferson's and good times. This is, this is wild. A hundred. Today. Would you want to be a hundred?

No. I feel like right at like 92, I've really like capped off with stuff I can even do. Give me a solid 85. Mm-hmm. I'm good. Solid 85. Give me a solid 85. Mm-hmm. I'm good. I'm good. Solid 85.

Give me a solid 85. This is a thing that I feel about age. A lot of people, even when they turn 30, are like, oh, I feel old. You're not actually old for like 50 more years. I knew someone who jumped ahead of it, and they were telling people they were 40 when they were 33 and they were just like catching all the compliments.

You look fire, you know, what's your skin routine, everything. That person's a disrespect for human. And I know they weren't black because we look young forever. So I just turned 39, I had a facial too like a while back lady to help me I didn't have a single wrinkle, okay? They're the girl I went to high school with that bitch had wrinkles at 18. So you're not going. I mean, I need to, my under eye is becoming a problem. You know, I'm sleeping too hard on the left side. I wake up feeling punched. You're just dehydrated, bro. I'm with you. I'm I understand, I understand, I understand, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I'm thi. I thi. I to have the to have to have the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I don't have th. I don't have th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't thi. I don't thi. I don't thi. I thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I wake up feeling punched. You're just dehydrated, bro. I'm with you. I understand, but oof, I woke up this morning and I was like, who did it? You know, which one of you all hit me? You just dehydrated? You want to go to

one of those IV places? I, I will throw up if I have an IV in me. I, I cannot do. What are you talking about? The IV? Oh, the the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I have th, I have th, I have th, I have th, I have th, I have th, I have th, I have th, I th, I have th. I th, I have thi in thi in thi in thi in thi in thi in thi in thi in thi in thi in th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th in th in th in th in th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th, I th. I th. I th, I th. I th. I th. I th. I to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have thi. I theeeee thi. I thi. I thi. I needles? No. It's not a needle. The IV? It's not a needle in your arm? The IV? It's not a needle? The lady didn't use a needle. She just used a tube. She just used a tube. Wait, the IV is a tube, but it's not a tube to your mouth. It's a tube to a needle in your arm. She didn't use a conventional needle. She just used a tube. the the th. th. th. th. thin needle. thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin a sharp tube and that you put it in mind. Ooh, now you stress me out more. This is, now it's a invention I didn't know about. I thought it was just a needle with the juice went in the needle, went in your arm. Sometimes I just got to get over your fears. Oh, oh.

Also, a fear of needles, nigger like, who is still afraid of this shit. Like, what are you talking about? Grow up, dog. Like, come on. What? I can't have my little fear that rarely comes up that I almost never talk about unless somebody else breaks it up. I can't have that. No.

Wow, you just, you just, well, you may fear your pet peeve. My biggest fear is that I'll never be married and have children. It's been a debilitating fear since I was six years old. Fuck your spiders, fuck your heights, okay? I'm talking about my life. Did you know what? Got raid for spiders, okay? You can stay inside.

You don't have to deal with heights. This shit, I have something that I want to do with my life that I need another person to achieve. Okay? That is real fair. You want to see him tell me, oh needles, ugh, uh, so weak. Well let's get into today's episode. Uh, Today we are talking about two all-time classics, two juggernauts of comfort food, two lovely, lovely dishes that come in a bowl. We're talking chicken soup versus tomato soup. Okay. Now I can't say, I don't know if you are familiar with the, with the wonderful comedic genius of Nicole Bayer. Mm-hmm. Friend incorporated.

And, um, I asked her one day if she wanted to go get fu. And she said she does not eat fa and she does not like soup. And I was like, but Nicolette, why do you not enjoy the tastiness that is soup? And she said it is water with food in it. And I could not eat my fud for a month. Honestly, that right there, that right there, we're going to have to cut that out. Because now it's messed up the whole episode. If people are just thinking of food chunks inside of hot water. That's not, I'm talking about good, delicious, creamy tomato soup.

Maybe there's nothing in it. You're the one over there, you chose chicken soup. You chose to side with the trash bag of bowl of, you know, hot broth. I went chicken soup. And I went chicken soup for the supposed healing factors of chicken soup. I went chicken soup because there's so many ways, so many styles of chicken soup. You know what I mean? You could have noodles.

Yeah. You could have rice, okay? Yeah. You can have it where there's too much parsley, like when my mom makes it, right? There's so many ways to do, there's a chicken soup, there's a chicken soup, you can have it where it's a creamier chicken soup, you can have it where it's more of a broth. You can have it where it's one of those sipping soup. I don't know how I feel about that that the tipin soup the the the the the the the the th th th th th th th th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is thin soup thin soup thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. th. There's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's more there's more there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's the th is is is th is thi th is thi thi thi thi the the the thi thi the thi thi thi thi thin thi. thi. thin. tip. tipa. tipee. tipe. tipe. to tipe. to to tipe. tipe. tipe. tipa thi's thi's thi's thi. the can. I don't know how I feel about that because I don't use chicken soup. But some people just like a warm broth. There's something about the can one because I remember what you're talking about. They did it for tomato and they did it for chicken and you would just heat it up in the microwave,

and you would just heat it up in the microwave, which I did not understand. And then you would pop it. It's thou. Because the the m. I the m. I the m. I the microwave. I the microwave. I the m. I the m. I the their. I their. I th. I their th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. their their th. th. th. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. I their. their. I their. I too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. ta. ta. too. too. their too. their their their. pop it. Is that that you couldn't put metal in the microwave? That's what I thought too. But apparently they got these new microwaves that don't care about metal. So they got some new metal that don't care about microwaves. Yeah, yeah. Either way, it doesn't sound natural. No. It doesn't sound like, if the couple's made a wood and they were like throw into the microwave microwave microwave the microwave the microwave the microwave the microwave the microwave the microwave the microwave the microwave the microwave microwave the microwave the microwave the microwave microwave the microwave the microwave microwave the microwave microwave the microwave microwave the microwave microwave the microwave the microwave. I'd be like, all right, I mean, I guess, but metal, I was immediately like, I remember read the label, like, this is a trick. There's a trick. But like, I remember, I remember when I was in high school, I was working at this place

called old-time pottery, and somebody had got me like a burger from checkers. I remember when checkers just have like the silver, look a wrapper around it. I did not know that it like that it like that it like that it like that it like that it was that it was that it was that it was like that it was like that it was like th th th th th th th th. I was like th. I was like th. I was like they like they th. I the the the they. I'm the. I th. I'm th. I'm their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thi. I'm the. I'm theat tri. I'm triea. I remember. I remember. I remember. I remember. I remember. I remember. I remember. I remember. I remember. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th silver looking wrapper around it. I did not know that it was low-key aluminum foil. Oh yeah, yeah. I put this in the microwave and the fireworks display that went on in this microwave and a grown adult was like, hey, what you're doing? I was like, I was just trying to eat up my burger from checkers. I didn't know. I'm just trying to eat up my burger from checkers. This is the biggest setup that we do to children. I don't know what other countries do because a lot of other countries don't microwave the

way we microwave. Like, you know, I feel like a lot of those European countries don't really even use microwaves and I feel like a lot of the African and Asian continent countries just, they end up the food for the day. That's, like. Like. Like, like, like, like, and th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the the the the the the th. I don't th. I don't their their their their their their their their th. I their th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the up eating the food for the day like they only make time and they're not kind into thinking that they have to do things quickly. Yeah yeah that's fair yeah that's also why it's better food because it's like hey we made just enough so now all the spices aren't spread around a huge pot for us to eat for six weeks like this is food for this evening. yes. Yes here they're they're they the the the time. the the time. the the time. the time. their their their time. time their time their time time time their time time their time time their time time time time time their time their time time time time time. they're they're they're time. they have they have they have time. they have time. time. time. they have time. time. they have they have their their their time. their their they have time. they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they're they're they're they're they're their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the spread around a huge pot for us to eat for six weeks. Like, this is food for this evening.

Yes. Here in America though, we have the TV dinner, we have the violence of the canned of the soup that you put the microwave, they drink right out of. That's a, I'll tell you what. I've had lots of different money situations in my life, but drinking a can of soup was the first time I really felt poor. That was the first time where I was like, what was it, I was talking to Logan and he said this and my buddy Logan Nielsen said, said the provodity.

The provodity. Not the provide. Just the pure unadulterate pvotity of drinking right out of a can and soup no less like I'm not even drinking I'm to to Nicole's point I'm kind of not drinking food I'm just drinking dirty water filled with food not dirty, seasoned I mean depending on which can soup you get well yeah I mean you hope no one can of soup you get. Well, yeah, I mean, you're hoping that's drinking a cream of mushroom because that's just a, it's a hard day. You know what I mean?

Whoever is drinking a can of a cream of mushroom? That's somebody that you need to be watch it out for. Watch it, listen. There's nothing like a he was so normal except for he drank a can of cream of mushroom soup. Oh my god. Okay so let's let's just go over some merits real quick of chicken soup and of tomato soup. If you don't mind I'll throw it out there I'll go first. Listen you're the one that has to run this. I I am never, what have I ever helpful, okay?

What have I kept you on task in your life? So I guess my main thing is creamy tomato soup has all of the heartwarming properties. Okay. All right? Of just a night in with a good book next to a fireplace. This is a life you don't live. What are you talking about? Do you have a fireplace?

I have an area. You have books, but do you have a fireplace? Where there used to be a fireplace? But now there is a kitchen island, but there was it but the brick is still exposed from how did a fireplace become a kitchen island? Because the fire okay is not this is a New York apartment got it so you can probably open your stove while you're on a toilet okay fine fine this is why again I'm on my evidence about New York so you have an area where a stove

used to be where a fireplace used to be that is now a kitchen okay so you have to roll your kitchen island out of the way. No I don't I don't roll it out of the way it's just that I'll just sit at it. I don't use the fireplace anymore. Because you can't because it's been walled in. And it's one of those delightful treats that you could enjoy with a grilled cheese, you can have it hot or cold. Who's cold? Tomato soup. Some people have tomato soup cold. Fucking monsters? Who's drinking? This is not Gaspacho? You think people at home make candles but Gaspacho who who is having cold tomato soup It's not it's not me, but I've seen it all right you have not no Yeah, Rosie does it rosy rosy said she has tomato soup like hot or cold my rosy I'm pretty sure

I'm pretty sure I have to talk to her about this later That's a thing people do. That's not a thing people do. It's not a thing people do. It's you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I'm you I'm you I'm you I'm th I'm th th th th th th th th th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. It's it's it's th. It's th. It's th. I'm th. I'm th. I th. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th th th th th th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the th the the th the the the the the thi thi the the the to talk to her about this later. That's a thing people do. That's not a thing people do. It's not a thing people do. You eat, if you have cold tomato soup, it's because you used to be hot, you forgot about it, came back and was no longer hot. How are you eating cold tomato soup? But tomato soup and the consistency of tomato being cold is not crazy. Like isn't that what a, that cocktail that's mostly tomato is? What's that cocktail? Oh, Bloody Marys? Yeah, like Bloody Marys.

Blad-marys is just cold tomato soup. With vodka, listen, anybody that drinks a Bloody Mary, and they're not going through the Drake depression, it's violence. You ever been on a plane? You've been on a plane and somebody ordered? What's crazy is that people just order like tomato juice on a plane. First of all, it smells like vomit. tomato juice on a plane smells like vomit. This is, this is not...

So you... So what about when you have ketchup? What about when you have ketchup? Are you like, that? I don't need ketchup. I don't need ketchup. My brother told me one day when we were kids, that ketchup, that ketchup doesn't make food taste better, it makes food tasks like ketchup. Yeah, too much ketchup will do that. Just a little ketchup. I don't the ketchup. I. I. I th ketchup. I th ketchup. What th ketchup. What th ketchup. What th ketchup. What th ketchup. What th ketchup. What th ketchup. What th ketchup. What th ketchup? What th ketchup? What th ketchup? What th ketchup? What th ketchup? What th ketchup? What tha? What about? What about? What about? What about ketchup? What tha? What about tha? What about? What about? What about? What about? What about? What about? What about? What about? What tha? What tha? What tha? What tha? What tha? What tha? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? I th ketchup? I th ketchup? I th ketchup? I th ketchup? I th ketchup? I th ketchup? I th ketchup? I tha? I tha? I tha? I tha? I the the tha? I the the the tha? I the the the tha? I the tha'a'a'a ketchup? What about tha ketchup? What about tha? I tha? What thateaastes like ketchup. Yeah, too much ketchup will do that, but just ketchup, just a little ketchup. I need ketchup. I

need ketchup. I love salsa. I don't eat ketchup. Love salsa. Won't eat ketchup. Don't like it. The tight rope of logic you're walking with your own tomatoes is infuriated. Tomatoes are the only thing that I'm picky. I won't eat a tomato in a salad. I won't eat, this is the craziest thing. If I were like a taco and they put like chopped tomatoes on them, I won't eat it. I won't eat it. I'll get it with no tomatoes. Salsa. I love salsa. But I won't eat like a friend. I can't get like tomatoes out of my grandma's garden and put like salt and pepper and vinegar on them Blea But if there's a tomato like if it's a tomato like like on a burger I'll eat a few bites of it and I probably end up eventually taking it off like a whopper or something like that I'll need a few bites of I'll eat a few bites and eventually take it off because I like to tomato tom tom tom the tom a tom a tom the tomato tomato tomato tomato tomato the tomato tomato tomato tomato to tomato to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the to the the the tomato tomatoes. tomatoes. I tomatoes. I tomatoes. I tomatoes. I tomatoes. I tomatoes. I tomatoes. to me to me to to me to to to to to tomato juice, like a V8, I'll open the airlock on this plane and kick you the fuck out.

Ugh. Everything that you're saying right now is an attack on logic. It really is. I can't listen, I can't tell you why I'm like this. I can't tell you why I don't, I don't like the smell of tomatoes. So that's why I know when it's in salsa, it's the th it's th it's th it's th it's th it's the th it's th it's th it's thi it's thi it's thi it's toma, it's toma toma toma toma tell you why I don't, the thing is, I like the smell of tomatoes. Mm-hmm. So that's why when it's in salsa, it's fine. Or when it's a tomato soup, there's like, you know, other stuff, it's fine. But like, just straight up, just a tomato in a glass with celery and vodka in it,

terrorism. I'm calling the FSA. Like this is awful. Okay, so we'll leave, we'll leave. I won't try to appeal to your sense of taste. Listen, this is not about my taste. No, I already said I like tomato soup. I know, I'm with you, but I, the, the roads that I think will thinne. If I try to make the the tha thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, I tho, I tho, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I that I thi, I thi, I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi, I thi, I thi, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I tho, I tho, I tho tho thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I try, I try try try try tho try to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to down. If I try to make sense out of everything that you just said, I don't think we'll even get to the episode. I really-

No, it's not Rhodes. I like salsa. I don't like tomatoes by themselves. That's it. But you don't like ketchup? But ketchup doesn't even tasks like tomatoes? Some ketchup? Okay so I remember the 90s when ketchup was different colors okay so you can't tell me that that the ketchup tastes like tomatoes it doesn't. It tasks like

tomatoes. It doesn't. It tasks like sugar. As for another day. Mmm. So, tomato soup to me is one of those things that you just enjoy. It's a classic treat. It's a classic snack when I want a little something that's not too heavy, but I want to feel full for a little while. I have some tomato soup, okay? do you eat it in the summertime? Yeah. So you eat hot soup in the summertime. But it depends on the day. You're, you're, I'm not going to take a break off of hot food for a whole season.

That, that, that to be as wilder than whatever road you were trying to take me down just now. I'm just asking because there's certain foods that I don't eat. Mm-hmm. What is hot outside? Yeah, if it's very hot that day and I've just come in from the heat, then yes, I don't really want to watch something bubble and then put it in my mouth. That's,. That's not going to be a great evening of dinner or afternoon a bunch. No bubble, bubble, toil and soup for you?

No, no, no, because if I, I can't even, you know, sometimes I'll make breakfast for Sally and I, and I will, you know, have eggs and bacon going at the same time and everything, but on a hot day, if I get popped with some grease, I'll lose my mind. I'll just snap. I'll walk away from the stove. There's something about getting popped on a hot day. Yeah.

Where you're like, the fuck is this? Because it's just grease and sun tag teaming. Yes. Because then you, you get popped, you you try the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. the th. the th. the th. the the the the the the the tho, the the the thopip thopoppice thooppice thooppice thooppice thooppice thooppice thooppice thooppice thoopp. I thoopp. I thoopp. I thop. I thopp. I thop. I thop. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I get th. I get th. I get th. I get th. I'll get th. I'll get thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooes. I'll tha and sun tag teaming. Yes. Because then you get popped, you grab it, you try to nurse it a little bit, maybe grab an ice cube, something like that, but then you go out into the sun, and the sun is like, mm, let me taste that. I remember Trevor said that one of his friends came from South Africa, and they were talking about how the heat, like the weather, the the the the the the the heat, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. threathea, threat. threat. threatmea, threatmea, threathea, threat, threathea, threathea, threatheat is threatheat is threatheatheatheatheatheathea, threat. And, the, thumb is, thea, thea, thea, thea, thea, thea, thea, thea, thea, thea, threathea, threat, threat, threat, threat, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, toe is toe is toe is just, toe is toe is tubea, toe is toe is juste is toe is tubea, threat is th about how the heat, like just the weather in America compared to South Africa. And he was like, he was talking about how the sun here is different. Mm-hmm.

He's like the sun here, he's like, you can feel it. He's like, it leans on you like a good friend. And he- he-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! I can't do the accent so I was really embarrassed myself. What I need from you though is really any if you have it if you can if you can muster it up. Any defense of your position on chicken soup. Yeah. Listen, I didn't chicken noodle soup. This is the thing.

So it's the thing you grew up with. It's the thing that you're like whenever you got sick or you weren't feeling well or this was the thing they gave you where and then every because like everybody had a recipe for chicken soup. Chicken and rice you know what I'm saying? Everybody has a recipe for chicken soup, chicken noodle soup, chicken and rice, you know what I'm saying? Everybody has a recipe for chicken soup and it's all done differently and so like even like as I got older I came up with my own recipe for chicken soup is usually just pasole. I think because it can be tailored to people's tastes more, I think because there's that childhood connection to it

where it's the first thing you're doing you're not feeling well is like I need some chicken soup. It doesn't matter what kind it is. Like I remember got super sick a couple years ago and my manager like sent me like, hey Uber eats like send me chicken soup. You know what I mean? It's this thing that we've all grown up with. Also it goes like cross-culturally. It's like different cultures in America or different cultures around the world. It's, you know, you're not feeling well. Let me get you some chicken soup. So I think it's I think because it's like a global thing that we've all decided that like, okay, you're sick, have some chicken. Mm-hmm. Some chicken will help you. No the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi's thi's thi's thi's not thi's not thi's not thi's not thi's not thi's not thi's not thi's not thi's not thi's not thi's not thi thi you're not you're not thi you're not you're not you're not you're not thi not thi not thi not thi. You're not thi. You're not thi. You're not th. thi. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. You're not thi. You're not thi. You're not thi. You're not thi. You're not thi's out here being like, oh, you're not feeling well, you put on some pork soup and then get this, uh, get this, uh, you know, you don't know some of those meat broths, they got, they got the enzymes, you know? We know what's healing, because,

like, you know what those chicken soup for the soul books? I never read one, I sawed, but I saw, but I saw it, but everybody had them. I'm a look this up right out. Somebody bought a house and a boat off of them chicken soup for the soul books. Basically, there were like these self-help books you were supposed to read called Chicken Soup for the Soul. It's like, listen, if chicken soup waltzook to the to to the so a tomato soup for the soul. Oh, both soups? I don't know. I'm, I saw one time. Okay, this is, this is.

That feels like an off-brand then. Chicken soup for the African-American soul. Chicken soup for the ti-sou for the teenage soul. Chicken soup for the African American soul, chicken soup for the salt, chicken soup for the Chinese soul, chicken soup for the African American woman soul. Who wrote these books? This is very specific. Yeah, I mean, you want to break into every niche you have available to you, so, you know.

For the cancer survivor soul, for the pet lover soul, country soul, kids soul, golfers soul? chicken soup for the golfer's soul. So I did find it. There is a tomato soup for the soul. But it does seem to be off-brand. Like it, like it seems like a hardcore broken-off chicken soup for the soul. Because they use the chicken noodle soup for the soul font. So listen, if chicken soup is so healing that they have put it in literary format,

that's what I'm saying, like, the concept of the soup being healing, it's to the point that they've gotten to like, okay, let's break it down to where we need to get to these golfers, okay? These golfers are not okay. So just seeing as overall concept, chicken soup is that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th th th th th th th is th is th is so th is so th is so thiiii thi thi they thi the the they're thathing is so theathea the they the thathea theatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheathea they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're their they're their their that is so that is so that. that. that. that. So that. that. that. that that that that that that that that. that that that to these golfers, okay? These golfers are not okay. So just seeing as overall concept, chicken soup is so healing that they have used that colloquial attachment to it. I like how you grab stuff when you try to make a point. There's nothing there, but you're trying to pull the rest of the idea out of thin air. Listen, you know the number of times I've grabbed air and not be saying anything insignificant?

Okay, I'll just offer this up to you. No. No. I think that, yes, chicken noodle soup has some healing properties to it. There's some bone broth properties in there. There's lots of good stuff, but where is the line? That's my question. When do we go from healing to heathen?

All right? Because everyone just having their own little version of chicken soup is pretty wild. I've had chicken suits. No, not just across cultures. I'm talking about fully just American raised, born and raised people that think that they should be putting chunks of just whatever in the chicken suit. What's the wildest thing you've ever had in someone's chicken soup?

Let's see. Restaurant, it doesn't matter restaurant or someone's home? What's the wildest thing and where did it come from? Okay. All right, this is where I'm talking about. This is what ends up happening. Okay. Raisins. You're a liar. Yeah, everybody says raisins. Everybody says raisins. If you want something wild to be in something, we say raisins.

Okay. You know what have been even wilder than raisins? Full on grapes. Grape would have been wilder. Full on grapes would have been even wilder than raisins? Full-on grapes. Grapes would have been wilder. Full-on grapes would have been wilder, yes. Who put, we know who, but where? Where?

Where did you get the soup from? In school, there was someone who brought their lunch to school from home. In that lunch, okay. It was like, you know, little snack pack, whatever, but then they had some chicken soup that they heated up, and in it were some little black dots and I was like what's in your soup and they had shredded chicken they had some carrots they had like pretty much you know anything you'd put in a

chicken soup and then celery the whole nine couple of raisins and I wasn't sure if that's something that the parent did or if them being a kid, they were like, hey, raisins are good too. Let me throw them in. But they acted like it was nothing. So that was leading me to believe that it was normal for them. So you did not have this soup? No, I had a little taste of it. Because I was like how crazy is this, you know? And what? And what? th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's, I that's, I wasn't, I wasn't, I wasn't, I wasn't, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, th. th. their. their. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. the their. their their their their their their their their th. their th. that. that. theat. theat. theat. theat. theat. the. the. their th, I had a little taste of it because I was like how crazy is this you know and what it tastes like? I mean it wasn't great to begin with. I mean I'm sure there was a salt in it. Yeah yeah but overall you you asked me the wildest thing raising. Now in chicken soups defense. Yeah. People do wild things to things all the time. So if this one young man and his very delusional parent, because you don't know who made that food. Parrion, put raisins in his very delusional parent, because you don't know who made that food.

Parent or guardian. Put raisers in his chicken soup. One, they should be arrested. Flogs. Tard and spooned. Grease and spooned. Tard and feathered. Not that serious, but you get it.

So that's not an indictment on all chicken soup because his mama can't cook, you know? I will say that chicken soup, you put a little crackers, and you're done. Tomato soup, yeah, yeah. Tomato soup always has an accessory. Oh. Okay, you know what? Okay, you know what?

Tomato soup is what gave us the soup in the sandwich. Now, this I will say, when you go somewhere and they're like, soup in a sandwich, it's like a combo meal, because it's some more like goofy lunch place. Uh-huh. If you do, I went to a lunch place that didthe soup in the sandwich as a meal, right, as a lunch special. And it did not have tomato soup as an option. I was like, you're doing this wrong.

You're doing this all the way wrong. You're living life wrong. Yeah, that is violence. That is violence. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I that is violence. I that is violence. I that is violence. I that is violence. I that is violence. I that is violence. I that is violence. I that is violence. I the that is violence. I don't that is violence. I don't that is violence. I don't thomen. I don't thi. I don't thom. I thom. I thom. I thom. I thom. I don't thom. thom. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I the. I the. I to to to. to. to. I the. thi. I thi. thi. thi. I thi. I th and a pastrani. I don't need these Ennis together, okay? You need, if you're going to be soup with a sandwich, you gotta have a tomato soup. But also, this is my question when it comes to, because you were talking about the ways that people do chicken soup, right?

Okay, yeah. How do you feel about theic style tomato soup. How do you feel about the rustic tomato soup? I'm talking about your big pieces of herbs, okay? I'm talking about your large chunks of tomato tomato. To me, to me, just speaking for myself, uh, it's a personal taste thing. The more rustic something gets, the more dirty it is in my mind. So the same way that you were talking about New York apartments and how sometimes there's exposed brick and blah blah.

I'm actually on your side on that thing. I don't like when someone didn't finish a building and they act like they finished a building. Like, the brick is exposed. I'm like, the b, the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. the th. thi the the the thi thi thi thi the thi thi the more thi thi thi thi thi thi the more thi thi thi something something something something something something something something something something something something something something something something something something something something something something something something something something something something something something something something something something.. their their their their their their their their their their something something something something something something something something....... I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I, I, I, I, I, I was. I was. I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm the the th. It's th. It's th. It's the more. It's the the more. It's the more. It's. It's the the the the the your side on that thing. I don't like when someone didn't finish a building and they act like they finished a building. Like, I've stayed in pieces. I'm like, bitch, just, ma'am, didn't make it a brick wall. That means I'm outside, inside. If the brick is exposed. That made you have sold me outside and I'm currently outside.

You put walls around outside and I'm currently outside inside. You put walls around outside and now... It's like when they started building those little outdoor, because we couldn't go in restaurants during COVID in New York and they started putting those little buildings on the park and like in the street. Yeah. And everyone's like, this is inside, outside. Yeah. You're telling me that it's not safe to be in there.

This is barely better, you know? But it was like, oh, but there's like open air, but then when winter time hit you put sides on it because it was cold and then put heaters in the bitch. So now you're just incubating COVID. Yeah, and rats. The rats love the outdoor dining. So, man. Here's the thing, because we have to wrap up soon. I I I I I I I I I I I I the the then. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's, that's that's that's that, that, that's that's that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, thoom. that's, that's, that's, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th. th. th. that's that's that's that's thi. that's thi. that's that's not, that's that's not, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thi. wrap up soon, I'm just going to swing for the fences. I'm just going to say it, any, any, liquidy tomato, I will count as tomato soup.

So you don't mind the rustic style as long as there's still a lot of, because I've had rustic tomato soup where it's just like, bitch, this is just a bunch of chunky tomatoes and a little bit of liquid. So yeah, I'm gonna go out on a limb right now. I don't know if this helps or hurts my point. I don't know what the audience is gonna feel, but I really wanna win. And so I'll say right now that tomato soup, if we're really bringing chicken chicken noodle soup, that counts everything. I'm th, I, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, I thi, tho, tho, I'm tho, I'm tho, I'm tho, I'm tho, I'm tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I don't tho, I don't tho, thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, I don't th noodle soup. I said chicken. I'm talking marinares.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You're saying any liquid that's tomato-based. Any liquid tomato is tomato soup, all right? And anybody- Like salsa? You're counting salsa? As tomato soup? Let's do it, tomato based anything. Tomato soup.

Ketchup. Tomato soup. Coctail sauce. Tomato soup. Salsa. Tomato soup. Cospatio. Tomato soup.

Cospatio. Prego. Ragu. Tomato soup. Marinar sauce is u. Tomato soup. Marinerar sauce is tomato soup. Tomato soup. So I'm just throwing it out there because sometimes... So if you saw somebody open a jar of ragu pasta sauce sauce.

Yeah, yeah. So you're saying tomato paste is... Tomato soup. So if someone opens tomato paste is... Tomato soup. So if someone opens a can of ragu, pasta sauce. Okay. Those it in a bowl. Yeah. He eats it up.

Mm-hmm. Tomato soup. So. So, wild. Wild. Wild. Wild. I feel like, I feel like in the last episode with the diners

versus the Waffle House what ended up happening because I got to eat alive by the way did you? Yeah yeah no no what you mainly got eaten alive I was like you would try to eat steak in a waffle house that's why you got eaten alive no no I got eaten alive no I got eaten alive basically because in the end, my mistake was that I didn't include every diner-like thing that was not Waffle House. So then there were even people in my comments, DIA, and my bitch and stuff like that being like, all right, look, since Denny's and all the stuff didn't include, and we're just talking mom and pop, I'm gonna have to go Waffle House and I'm like, damn. So basically I did make a good point,

but if I had been more inclusive, maybe people would have seen it my way, which is why now, A, everything is tomato soup, we're going all tomato soup, okay? I will not lose again. And you think by saying that ketchup is to have tomatoaa soup, I., I, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the to, the to, to, thom, thomato, thomato, tho, tho, thin, thin, tho, tho, tho, thin, tho, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, th.... I'm, th. I'm, th, th, th. I, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, that ketchup is tomato soup, you're gonna win? I'm just saying, what if somebody had to give up ketchup just to have tomato soup? Maybe, maybe they lead to the dark side. Maybe they'd be all, maybe, maybe they'd be with me. No one is, listen, no one's dipping french fries and tomato soup.

And no one is dipping grilled cheese in ketchup. So like, I can't, think, think, think, think, think, think, think, think, think, thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that, that, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, thin, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe six. So like, I can't, this, you can't make this, you can't make this choice. I'm just saying, because here's the thing, when you talk chicken soup versus tomato soup, I'm already had a slight disadvantage because there are some cultures like you said, that don't really do tomato soup, so everybody is chicken soup. I have to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the to to to the to the the to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the too...... too. too toda.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a. to to to to to to to bring more tools into the arsenal to stack up. Even I can admit that. These are not the tools that you need. You have brought dental tools to a construction

site. Okay, you know what that? You know what the, how about this? How about this? Why are you choosing? This isn't, I don't even violence. I don't know what this? How about this? Why are you choosing? This isn't, I don't even know, this isn't even violence. I don't know what this choice even fucking is. How about this? If y'all love chicken soup so much, no more tomatoes for anybody. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! You act like I did not get whopped in the vacation staycation episode. The number of people that were trying to call me elitist Okay? Because I said leave your fucking house All I said was leave your house

All the fuck I said well, you don't know how much money people have no I don't and that's not the fucking point And if you don't have the money to go on vacation. Why the fuck are you talking to me? That's I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't th th th th th th th th th th th th th tha to to tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha' tha' tha' tha' tha tha tha tha the money to go on vacation, why the fuck are you talking to me? I'm not talking to you? I will say, I will say you made a good point for Waffle Houses. I was impressed at your Waffle House fight that you put up. But I'm also from Atlanta. I also grew up in the city that is the location of the headquarters of Waffle House. I grew up in North Cross, Georgia. Google Waffle House. Their headquarters was around the corner from my house.

And you, and look, you did them proud. But what ended up happening with me is I got eaten alive because I didn't, I didn't open up the options. All right. So now I think you're opening them the wrong way like it makes sense to include a Denny's and a diner because they're doing the same thing to include ketchup with tomato soup. It's just a question of consistency. It's just a question of consistency. It's just a question of because there are some tomato soups. they like like like like like like like like like like like like they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I I I th. I I I th. I I th. I I th. I th. I I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I think. I think. I think. I think. I think. I think. I think. think. I think. I think. I think. I think. I think. I think. I think. I think. I thi question because there are some tomato soups. Like you

said, they couldn't get the consistency right. So now you drink it a bowl of ketchup. No, it never goes ketchup. It can be marinae, but it's never ketchup. I'm worried about you. I'm worried about you. I'm worried about you. You're not thinking about the logic, you're thinking about the win. You're not doing it from your whork. Okay. Is. Is. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, I's the, I's the, I's the, I'm the, I'm the consistency. I'm the, I'm the, I'm the, I's, I's, I's, I, I, I, I. the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. the the thi. the thi. thi. the thi. the thi. the thi. thi. the thi. the the, you're thinking about the win, okay? You're thinking about the win. You're not doing it from your hork, okay? Look, you're not doing it from the heart. If you need it open, listener, if you need it open, it's open. All right? If you don't need it open, if I sound crazy to you, keep it, keep it, you don't believe that ketchup is fucking tomato soup because you would not walk into your Christian home that you have made with

your girlfriend and your dog and squeeze a bowl a Heinz ketchup. Squeeze ketchup! to a bowl and heat it up with some soup and the garlic soup. You wouldn't do it, you wouldn't fucking do it. So don't look me, don't look me and my college educated American Christian face here on Al Gore's internet machine and tell me that you even believe in the bottom of your hort. In your hoaught that you've adopted, don't you get off this hill. Go to fl--go. Go to-Fill the bowl. It, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, to, to to to to to to to to to to to to to, go, go, to to to, to to, to, to, to, to, to, to, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a too, too, to to to to to to to to the to the the the the to the to to the the the bottom of your hoar. In your hoart?

That you've been a dot. This, don't you get off this hill. Go to flatland. You have built a heel out of tomatoes and it is not working. You sound wild. The fuck do you mean? Anything tomato base is tomato soup? What? That's like saying everything pasta is spaghetti.

How about it then? Yeah! He chose Violus! This is the wildest fucking thing I've ever heard you. I can't stop cut, like, this man... He chose this. This is the wildest fucking thing I've ever heard you. I can't stop cut like, this man. So, so, man so I'm not doing this with chicken soup chicken soup okay I've made my point my my defense my my I rest here's my offery Lay me at the throw.

Leave me there alone. That's what you brought me to. I had to take these choices to the king. That's what you did to me. That's what you brought me to me. That's what you brought me to. I had to take these choices to the king. That's what you did to me?

That's what you did to me? I had to lay him at the throne. Leave me there alone to gaze upon Josh's bad decisions because this niggin' a lot of their mind. Talk about have a hot bowl of ketchup. I'm worried about me. Don't worry about me. Don't worry about me. He got me. We're children of the same Lord, all right? He got me. We're children the same God. I hear you I hear you brother in Christ. So listen, listeners, if you can continue to even respect Josh.

Wow. Wow. After... After this band does that, Al Gore's internet machine, it said that anything's tomato-based is tomato soup. Well, I have just presented the fact that, listen, through your childhood, chicken soup has been the go-to, you know, everybody has different recipes, and good Christians don't put raisins in it. That sounds like a real Trump supporter move.

But, Lord, we come before you today for Brother Josh. Look, don't, because then you. You just start praying. Why are you talking to the person? Look at me in my face praying in my face to about me. Like, like I'm not here. Ah! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! That's... So we're gonna put to you thethe listener chicken soup or tomato soup. Let's know in comments. Let us know in, you know, the- No, no, this is our chicken soup versus anything that is tomato-based.

Okay, you have changed the game. Okay. I said chicken soup versus tomato soup. Mm-hmm. You have said chicken soup versus anything that has a tomato in it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Please find all of the ways to tell Josh that he is a wild man. Okay look so if you want to tell me to my face that I am wrong I got dates where I'll be doing stand-up you can come to

those you can find me on Instagram at Josh Johnson Comedy, also on Tick-Tock and YouTube at Josh Johnson Comedy. And I, you can find me at Dulce Sloan, my YouTube channel needs resuscitation, so don't look for me there. But oh my Instagram is popping oh my Instagram? Yeah, your Instagram is actually very entertaining. See, I'm a very silly lady. I have been Dulce Sloan. I've been Josh Johnson. This has been hold up.

Yeah, it is. Yeah. It is. Listen to Hold Up wherever you get your podcast and watch the video version at Daily Show. dot com backslash hold up. Watch the Daily Show, weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount Plus. This has been a Comedy Central podcast.