The Daily Show: Ears Edition - Class In Session: Daily Show Correspondents Talk to Kids About The Issues That Matter

Episode Date: July 6, 2023

Jordan Klepper learns from kids about growing up only ever having known a black president. Hasan Minhaj sits down with Generation Alpha so they can educate him about what issues matter most to kids. And Desi Lydic teaches a class of girls how to climb the corporate ladder...just like the boys.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You're listening to Comedy Central. Barack Obama's tenure is almost at end. He only has 10 months left, which is a lot of time for humans, but you must understand in the American government's, that's barely enough time to have anything obstructed. Still, you can't argue with one thing. Obama made history as America's first black president. And that fact has been a cause for celebration for all. Well, most. And Jordan Klepper has more. Under the Obama presidency, a segment of Americans have felt like second-class citizens.

Tragically, some have been marginalized their entire lives. I'm talking about white kids. What does it do to a young white child's dreams to have never seen themselves reflected in the nation's highest office? I want to know guys. What do you want to be when you grow up? I want to be a stock exchanger. A stock exchanger? I want to be a pizza man. A pizza man. Like, what's the coolest, most powerful job you can imagine yourself becoming? Uh, probably a thinger. Prosecutor. I do want to work on a history channel.

That's your biggest dream working on the history channel? That's so sad. Could these poor little crackers even imagine that a president could be white? I want you guys to draw what you think thi thi thi think thi the thi the ca thi the ca thi the ca thi thi the ca thi thi thi the c, thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, the the the the the the the the the the the thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to theeeeean, toeean, toean, toean, thi. thooooooooooooo, thi, be white? I want you guys to draw what you think a president looks like. Try to find the colors that you think work best. Three, two, one, reveal. I saw brown and brown and, come on kid, really, a green president? What if I told you, that a president could look like this? I can't see any of them. You can't see that? You can't.

It's a white crayon. Well, imagine a president could look white, is what I'm saying. That we could have a white president. It's hard to be a president. You have to like do so many things. But Francesca, what I'm saying is that you could be president. You don't have to think you can't do it. I'm not saying that all white people are bad, but some of them are.

I feel like this is this white self-hatred where you don't think you can be great. Luckily, with Ben Carson, Hillary and Donald, leading the pack, there's a good chance the next president will be whiter than a game of ultimate frisbee at Doughton Abbey. This is an exciting time for you guys. You guys have never known a white person in a position of power. I mean outside of like Congress and the Supreme Court and I think most of the billionaires. And actually most of superheroes, I think, are white. Everybody who's played Batman. Batman!

Outside of that, you guys have barely known any white people in positions of power. The thing is, we all need a, all men, as, as, so, all men are equal. So we have the dream of being president, and that's great. We should be president, too. I mean, if we're at the point in our lives where we can have a white president, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to, to, to, to, to, th. thi, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, to, to, the th. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to-a. to-a. to-a. to-a. to-a. to-a. to-a. th. th. th. the the dream of being president, and that's great. We should be president too. I'm saying, white people can be presidents too. I mean, if we're at the point in our lives where we can have a white president, we might be able to one day have a white Oprah. The sky's the limit. And if I could get these milky white poindexters to sound presidential fear itself. The only thing we have to fear it's fear itself.

Read my lips, no new taxes. Read my lips, no new taxes. We're gonna build the best wall. We're gonna build the best wall. And who's gonna pay for it? And who's gonna pay for it? Mexico? Mexico. Mexico. Wait what Wait, what? Ah, yes. We were teaching them a valuable lesson. Doesn't matter about the color. It matters on the inside. Because it's white, present.

Yeah, I can imagine a white president, I can imagine a black president. I can imagine any kind of precedent. Mission accomplished. And soon enough, these kids will finally have a role model in the ovae.. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, and to, and to, and to, and too, and too, and th. th. too, and who, and who, and who's, and who's, and who's, and who's, and thi, and thi, and who's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their, their, their, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, their, their, their, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, to be th. And, the, the, the, the, the is to be toe is toe is too's too's toooooooooooooooooooes. tooes. And, tooes. tooes. tooes. And, the. And, the. And, toe. And soon enough, these kids will finally have a role model in the Oval Office they can look up to, except for one small problem. I refused to vote for Hillary Clinton because she broke the law. She used her own private computer to talk about governmental stuff, so she should get arrested. How is over. It's over. It doesn't matter anymore.

It's not like she murdered somebody. Should we let every pass a broken wall pass? Okay, maybe they just lean a little more to the right. Rubio Cruz and Trump, I think they all act like a bunch of kids. They act like people in preschool. And you should know because you were in preschool like what, four years ago? Yeah. They're fighting over a bunch tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tho tho tho tho tho thoes. tho to tho to tho tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. to to th. th. to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be th. to be to be th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thea. thea. thea. thea. they want to do that then they should at least go to Jupiter or something. America is one of the biggest countries in the world. You don't

want to act like a bunch of children when you want to become a president like that. Are you afraid a white president might mess it all up and we'll only have black presidents from now on? It depends which white president. Okay, well, get ready for Corey Booker in 2020. As the culture wars ripped through America, one thing that always comes up is the children. the culture wars ripped through America, one thing that always comes up is the children. We have one job and that's to protect our children. Protecting children from sexual indoctrination, critical race theory, things like that. Banning books, especially these books, endangers our children.

But as the father of a child about to start school, I wanted to know how they felt about the culture wars. And more importantly, I lokey wanted to know if they thought I was cool. So instead of tweeting about the kids, I decided to talk to them. I don't know if you know this but I'm a little bit older and there's a lot of, okay you'd have to laugh at that part. There's a lot of stuff that I'm not aware of, so I'm going to name something and then you tell me th me me tho tho the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their the their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to name to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to. tod. I tell tell the the tell the the tell the. I tell the. I tell the. I thee. I thee. I to to to to to to to tell tell me what you think about it. Adults are arguing a lot right now about what you should be learning, what subjects you should be taught, what books you should be reading, but we never asked you. How do you feel about school? What are your favorite books? What books are you guys reading right now? I love like racial justice books because I feel like I can relate

to that a lot, like they hate you give or like blended. How do you feel about people wanting to ba? their their their their their their their, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. And, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi, thi, thi. And, like, like, like they hate you give or like blended. How do you feel about people wanting to ban those books? Not good, because like I feel like you need to, this is what's, it's what's happening in the world right now. Like, racial injustice is happening right now, and these books are about racial injustice, so people need to learn about it if they want to do something about it. Do you feel like your teachers are trying to to to? No. Do you know what the word indoctrinate means? No. Brently, let's talk about this.

Thoughts on the president in the current administration? I think it's good. Yeah, I like it. I feel like he's a lot better than Trump, in my opinion. I feel like he's not the best president. We definitely had better presidents, but,'s a big step up from Trump. What about this era feels different from other presidential? He's definitely older than other presidents. How old is too old to be president? Too old to be president is an age

where you're scared that you might not live to see the next day because a country is depending on you to run them. Also, as long as you don't have any like mental health problems, like say you have a dementia and you're sort of losing your memory a little bit and people with dementia, they're perfectly good people, but they're probably not the best kind of person to run a country because they might not remember everything. Yeah, you're eerily describing what Joseph R. Biden is going through right now. Now, sometimes people say, when you criticize people of a certain age, that are older, that could be ageist. Hey, you can't do that because of your age. But that happens all the time with you. Yes. People tell you you can't do things because

of your age. What's something adults tell you that's ageist? I feel like it's always like something to do with when I go to bed. What time is your bedtime? Mostly like 845. That's what the time that you want? Give me a time? Mostly, mostly, mostly, mostly, mostly, mostly, mostly, mostly, mostly, mostly, mostly, mostly, mostly, mostly, mostly, mostly, mostly, mostly, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, the, the, the the, they, they, the, the, th. th. thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the the thi. to eat eight hours of sleep. What would be the time that you want? Give me a time, let's pitch, let's work this out. What time do you want to go to sleep? Only like 30 minutes after, let's try it. I'm gonna be your dad and I'm gonna tell you go to bed and you tell me, to the things, to go, to go, to go, to go, to to to to to the the the the thk, the th the thin, thin, thin, the the the to their, their, to to to to, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the a, the a, the a the a the a tomorrow, the a tomorrow, the a toda, try, the a the a tomorrow, too, too, too, the a the a the of the things that I'm talking about right now you don't have a lot of control over but there is something you do control. Culture. So let's talk about pop culture. Elon Musk. Billion. He owns Tesla and SpaceX. Twitter. I mean Twitter.

Do you think he's doing a good job running Twitter? Quinn how how are you feeling about what he's going? I think he's going to get pretty badly because he did a bunch of stuff that's like not good. Right. Like he got rid of a bunch of things and tried to just make the most money out of it. But he's he actually lost a lot of money while he got to the too thea to to to to to to to to to to to to to thea thea thea to thea thea thea thea thea thea thea thea to to to to to get to get to get to to to their. to to to get hea. hea. hea. hea. hea. he he's he he's hea. he he's he he's he he's going. he he's going. he he's going. he he's going. he he's going. to he he's going. to get he's to get he's to get he's. to get he's. to get he's. thea thea thea thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. tode. toe. toda. toda. thea. thea. thea. thea. the. the. a lot. What would you do if you were him to turn it around? Sell it to a bigger company for a decent price. Yeah, I think he's lost a lot of the money though. Because Twitter, it's like giving up. No one or no cares about it anymore. Got it.

Taylor Swift, hero, icon, villain. I think her music is awesome, amazing. I don't really love her as a person. What about her as a person that was just like, no? I don't know, she just doesn't sit right with me, I guess. Okay. Any other thoughts on T-Swift? I don't really know a lot about her, and I don't want to say things about

tho-a'-so. So that's all I really know. So you're just saying if you don't know about something, you'll just say, hey, I don't know or I don't have an opinion about that. It's really refreshing. Um, bad bunny. What? What does that mean? I love him, but I don't think my age should be listening to it. If you don't understand Spanish, then it's like, okay, it's really good, but if you understand it,

that it's like, oh. Whoa. Whoa. Yeah, there's lots of artists whose music is really good, but their person, them as a person, them as a person themselves is not great. So how do you resolve that? What do you that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th you resolve that that th you resolve that th you resolve that th you resolve that th you resolve th you resolve that. So that. So that, thi that, thi thi thi thi. thi. that, that, that, that, that, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to to thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. terms with that? I still listen to them? I still listen to them. I'm still listening to them. What are you gonna do? And you know what? You're gonna keep dealing with this even as an adult? And they're gonna write think pieces about it and there's gonna be no real solution. I mean even with like movies and actors who are probably not the best thiiiiiks thinks thinks the the the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thateateat that to to to to that to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to listen to listen to to to listen to to to to listen to to listen to to listen to listen to to to listen to to listen to listen to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the. I the. I the the the the the the the the the to the an to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to still enjoy their work and not appreciate the

bad things that they have done. Got it. Yeah, I can definitely agree with that. So I personally am like a superhero fan and the flash teaser was released. And there's like a lot of controversy around Ezra Miller and what he's done. But like the movie itself looks really good so you have to be able to respect that. this all sounds the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th out th out thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, their thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi, thi, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thateeateateateat, thateat, thateat, that, thateat, that, that, that, that, that, that, looks really good, so you have to be able to respect that. This all sounds like very reasonable, nuanced opinions. I suggest you never put that opinion on Twitter. Yeah, it sounds like you are understanding

that the world is a complicated, great place, and things aren't as binary as you think. And I'm just giving you fair warning from the future. People aren't gonna wanna hear that. So are you gonna go to to to to to to go to go to go to go to go to go the to go the movie, to go the to the movie, th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. thi. thi. to to to to th. to be, th. thi. thi, the, the, tho. th. th. that, that, that. that. that. that, that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin, thin, thin. the. the. theananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananann't to want to hear that. So are you going to go to the movie? I might just kind of wait until it goes on streaming, something like that probably. Got it. Is that because of Ezra or just because? Just because, I mean, I'm not sure that I want to go to the movie from that. Or it's just, I'm kind of like a stay-at- have to pay taxes. How much should you pay in taxes? Like what percentage?

It should really depend on like, if you're a billionaire and like you pay less taxes than... But what about you personally? Like if you had a fruit by the foot, how much of that fruit by the foot should go to the government? And how much should belong to you? Maybe like below 25. Below 25?

Yes. 25 and below? Yeah, the candy came an island over here. You've got a little place for your... 25 at most, I would say, and then below. This is a fruit by the foot, okay? Quinn, let's talk about it. You're a member of society.

You're going to get a paycheck one day. You're going to see to see a number to see a number to see a number to see a number to see a number to see a number to see a number to see a number to see a number to see a number to see a number to see a number to see a number the number to see a number the number the number the number to see a number the number the number the number the number the number to see thoom, the number the number the number the number the number the number the number the number the number the number the number the number the number the number the number the number the number the number the number the number the number to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to, but that's not gross. You know what's gross? The number below it's called net. There's another thing called FICA. That's what's making your net happen. We can get into that later, but it's really going to FICA you over. Now, looking at this fruit by the foot, how much of the government get, Quinn? Probably like 30? Probably 30. 30. It's up to here. 25 or 30. Do's like 30? Lower? Lower? I think? You want to lower, Sophia? No, I think it's like 30. So right here? 25 or 3?

25 is reasonable. 25? So nothing over 40 percent. Nothing over 40? thault is way. tooomorrow. to you're, Oh, that makes you feel guilty. Now you feel guilty right? It depends on your income. You want to be an active participant and a good participant in a society?

It's got to match what was happening in the 70s and 80s. We're going to go 80 percent. That's yours. This is yours. This goes to schools. roads, highways, etc. Now if you take this, you're a good person. But if you don't, you're a part of the problem. This is something a lot of men in their 30s don't talk about. Feelings. How do you process things when you're sad or angry? I kind of get mad at my parents. Whenever I get mad at them, I kind of don't like it. And I only go to my room, but like, they'll come in and they always think they're like,

so they're never going to apologize. They want to be right when sometimes they're not right. Like, they just can't say sorry sometimes. But if they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th th th th th th th th th th th th then that means parents and children are equal. But you can't have that. We can't? Do you have any advice for just like a hypothetical adult that sometimes feels overwhelmed and at times doesn't believe in themselves and think they're not good enough. Maybe like take a break, go do something fun with like some people, you know, and then try to go back to it and try to go out with your friends or so. What if the hypothetical person is 37 years old and men of that age don't really hang out with one another.

I would say this hypothetical person, if you're trying to like convey your feelings without feeling any pressure, maybe you should seek a therapist for that if you're trying to express your feelings. You need like an outlet, so something that just distracts you from all the problems. And then that adds up to when you feel comfortable to express your feelings to other people, like a therapist. I'm sad. I'm sad. I'm sad. They're sad. They are sad. What are you most scared of? I'm actually really scared of death and what happens after? Yes. And I'm also scared of like gusts and spiders. Yeah, like that. What scares you most about death, Sophia? I like, think about it so much at gusts and spiders. Yeah.

Sam, what scares you most about death, Sophia? I like think about it so much at night because when I'm at night, like I just think about it and then like, like when you die, how does it feel the process of dying? And then when you die, is it just like a bling screen or like, or is there like another life? Or are you going to be like walking through a thu a thu a thu a thuah thuah thu an thu an thu an thu thu, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. like, like, like, th. like, like, th. Like, like, like, like, or hell? Like I'm like, I don't know. Jabby, you scared of death? Uh, kind, I used to be, I used to be like extremely scared, but then I kind of like got like, theyre their fear. What gave me peace? Support for my family. It wasn't that bad though. I'm pretty sure there's a study that's like they they they were like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like their their their the sure that they were like reliving their entire life at their death.

Wait, what grader you went again? Uh, six. Six. Why are you having this nuanced perspective? Chaba? Why? I guess that's just my personality. Are the things adults tell you that you're like, no way, I don't believe that. Sometimes, like, when they said something when I was younger, I thought they were lying.

Like what? What did they say that you're like, that's not true? If you brought your eyes too much, I used to cross my eyes. I would do it as a joke up though. like your eyes have been stuck that way. Is that not true? Wait, I thought that would actually happen. Go ahead, what's up? So, has any of your parents ever told you when you turn the car, like the car laid on, like that it's illegal to like leave it on?

Yeah. I found out, it's not illegal. How did you find out? I just saw on like, like, I'm just, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thr. thr. thr. thr. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, thr. thr. thr. tha, tha, th said was true. Like I thought my eyes would get stuck that way. I thought my eyes would never come back around. Wait, is this like a internal dad conspiracy thing where they're all telling each other? Real quick, raise your hands if your parents limit your screen time. Kind of. I feel the system.

I turn it off. the system. I ted it off. How'd you be the system? I turn it off. Wait, no, but you have to put in a password to get around the screen time lock. I typically step out. I thought it's supposed to be kid-proof. It's not. So there's this app called Kids Rocks and it's the easiest thing you turn off. You go on the settings and you go to, you see it and you take the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their and then you go to you see it and you take it off. Woo, your parents don't know that you cracked kids locks? Well, now they know. I don't have to go on my phone.

Okay, real quick. Raise your hands if you have an iPad. Everyone hands down. Raise your hand right now. If you could trade in your dad for a brand new iPad. No. I'm kidding. No, the 12.9 inch one. No.

Not even small one. No way. Why? Because my dad, he can pay for my iPad. If he already bought an iPad for me. Wait, oh, because he can pay for an iPad. So you keep Dad around because he is a financial source of other items. No, no, no, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's not, that's not, that's that's not, that's that's that's that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi. the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the thi. the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thiiiiiiiiii. thiiiiii. thi. thii. thi. thi. thi. No, no, that's not the one of the reasons. Let's talk about social media. Are we on social media?

Tick-Tock, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter? I feel like Twitter is old. I think it's like for old people. Yeah, for old people. Really? You know how Facebook like died? Twitter is kind of like to- It's kind of t being more toxic. I feel like having it more toxic or something like that. Yeah, so.

Yeah, it's very toxic. Got it. What does toxic mean? It's someone that like doesn't like, it's someone like like, like, like, to'n negative towards other people. Could you survive as someone took your phone? No. Yes, yes, entirely. Because I'm, yeah. I don't have my phone right now.

Because there's like so many other things you can do just like outside your phone, just like activities. Yeah, I'm, I'm, I'm, what does that mean? What does that mean? I feel like my phone is just like, it's like, if I need help, I could call the police. The police? My dad is obsessed with Twitter. Do you think Twitter's good for him? Maybe a little less would be good, but I don't think it's getting out of hand.

Got it. Do you want to join Twitter? Based on the way your dad uses it? Not really. I don't have much interest in social media. Are your parents on the phone too much? I feel like my dad always says, I'm on the phone too much, but kind of every time I look at him, he's always on like slack or something.

I just want to tell him, get off your phone, dad. Get it off your chest. This is your chance to tell them what's up. Get off your phone dad you to maintain a better work-life balance. You heard him parents stop watching this on your phone in go hang out with your kids. In the last few decades, women have made big strides in the workplace. We're no longer getting harassed while wearing big shoulder pads. It's 2023. Now we're getting harassed while wearing super cool big shoulder pads.

Needless to say, corporate women still face challenges. When it comes to the CEOs of the largest companies, women are still vastly underrepresented. There are currently 38 female CEOs at the S&P 500, and women's CEOs are 45% more likely to be fired than their male counterparts. There's also evidence that women who are appointed to the top job aren't necessarily set up for success. High-level women are often promoted during a time of crisis. It's a phenomenon called the Glass Cliff. Women who negotiate are thiiiiiiiiiiiiioe the the the the the the the theoeoeoeoe the the the theoe to to toe toe the toe toe toe toe toe toe toe toeouseouse toeouseouseoes toeous. toeous. toeous. toeoes toeous. toeous. toeous. toeous. toeous. toeous. toeous, toe toe toe toe toe toe toe toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. Wee. Wee, toe, toe, toe, to to to to toe, to to to toe, the the the the the the the the the the. the. toe. toe. the toea. toe. toea. toea. toea. It's a phenomenon called the glass cliff.

Women who negotiate are 67% more likely than women who don't to receive feedback that their personal style is intimidating to aggressive or bossy. When women have a child, their earnings decline for each child by 4%. Where as men, there's a fatherhood bonus, and they actually earn more.

When they have children, it's called the mother the theirhood bonus and they actually earn more. When they have children, it's called a motherhood penalty. That's right. It's really hard to be a woman in the corporate world. And they didn't even mention the fact that the office is always so freaking cold. It's no wonder women have to work harder. It's the only thing that will keep us warm. With all the challenges women are facing in the workplace, I thought it was important to

offer some mentorship to the next generation of female leaders. Take a look. Hi, my name is Desi. And today, I'm going to tell you how to climb your weight at the top of the corporate ladder, just like the boys. And sometimes it means playing dirty. And sometimes it's going to be an uphill battle. All right? Look to the person to your right.

Now look at the person to your left. OK, we're still learning rights and left. By the end of today, only one of you will remain. Ebelin, yes. We don't want to be boys, but we should be like the boys. Not in a way that we're like the boys, but we're going to be like, empowered woman, and we're going to get extremes accomplished, then we're going to get money. Then we're going to put it in our bank account and get more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more to to to put it in our bank account and get more money. Yeah, because you worked for it. And I think, what is the key takeaway?

Is that we want to beat the boys. Yeah, but we want to fill our pockets with money. Money. Okay. Who here knows what a CEO is? Hey! No! Nobody knows. B. You're up. You want to what a CEO is? Hey! No! Hey! Nobody knows! B, you're up.

You want to be a CEO? Um. You sure? Do you know what a CEO is? No. Chief executive officer. I have no idea what they're the boss. So like, you're like, you know how a teacher is. You're the boss.

So like, you know how a teacher is the leader of the classroom? Oh yeah. And they're in control of everything happening in the classroom? Oh, yeah. It's just like that, except they don't have to pay out of pocket for office supplies. So, okay, part of making it to the top of corporate America is knowing how to negotiate for yourself. Do you know what that means? No. What does it mean to negotiate?

Okay, the most important thing about negotiating for a raise is that you're touting your accomplishments. What chores have you been doing lately? Have you been adding value to your family? Have you been, say, helping your brother tie his shoes? That's mentorship. I don't know how to tie shoes. Do you know how to slip on a pair of pumps? Um, yes. Then it doesn't matter. Okay, do any of you want to be mommy's? Mommy? Yes. I live in your mommy. Okay. Wonderful. That'll be $40,000 up front. Uh-huh. What do you mean? It's called the mommy tax. Nobody has that kind. I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi th thi thi to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the tie shoes the the tie shoes the tie shoes tie shoes the tie shoes tie shoes tie tie tie shoes tie tie shoes. tie tie shoes tie shoes. tie shoes. tie shoes. tie shoes. I tie shoes. I tie tie shoes. I tie tie to do you mean? It's called the mommy tax. Nobody has that kind of money. What about $9,000?

I like the attempt to negotiate, but no, it's a hard and fast $40 grand. Okay, there are two types of CEOs. Has anyone here heard of Elizabeth Holmes or Anna Delby? Is Anna Delby the person who was pretended to be like a Russian heiress or whatever? Why yes she is. You were my prize student. Here's the lesson we learn. You only know the names of the women who have done illegal things. Okay, Bell, congratulations. You are now our new CEO. You now get to clean up the mess that the previous CEO made.

What? But you said being a CEO was good. Yes. It is, but it's not always fair. I'm keeping the bag, but it's not always fair. I'm keeping the bag, but I'm not playing that out. And that is how we negotiate. Why are you glad me? Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by searching the Daily Show, wherever you get your podcast. Watch the Daily Show week nights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central, and stream full episodes anytime on Fairmount Plus.

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