The Daily Show: Ears Edition - Coronavirus Updates - America's Fourth Wave, Vaccine Passports & A "Double Mutant" Virus

Episode Date: April 11, 2021

Experts sound the alarm about a potential fourth wave of the coronavirus in the U.S., Fox News freaks out over the notion of vaccine passports, and COVID-19 variants pose new risks. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You're listening to Comedy Central. When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes, a second look, starting September 17th, wherever you get your podcasts. COVID-19, the pandemic that's harder to get rid of than a serial killer in a hockey mask.

This past year, sometimes felt like an endless repetition of Netflix, crafts, and boring little walks around the neighborhood. Hell, I took so many walks, I started naming the fire hydrants. Hey, what's going on, Yellow? Spring-Clee? Yeah, good to see you. Richard! Where's my fucking money, Richard? I don't forget! You told me you needed to buy a new nut to close the waterhole

and you didn't pay them? I'll kill you, Richard! I don't forget. But now, things are suddenly moving very fast in the right direction. The only question is, are they moving fast enough? After a weekend of Easter gatherings and a record number of spring break travelers, the fear this morning, another dangerous surge is looming. Michigan now seeing the country's largest spike in cases, reporting its highest daily count since early December.

While infections are rising in over 20 states, health experts aren't in agreement that a fourth wave is imminent. We will see in the next two weeks the highest number of cases reported globally since the beginning of the pandemic. I think that there's enough immunity in the population that you're not going to see a true fourth wave of infection. What we're seeing is pockets of infection around the country. This as the vaccine rollout is picking up pace. The CDC says more than 3 million doses are now being distributed every day,

and over 18% of Americans are fully vaccinated. That's right, people. America may be entering a fourth wave of coronavirus. This pandemic is getting more spin-offs than law and order. But the good news is, and I really mean this, focus on the good news. The fourth wave might not be as big as earlier waves because so many people are being vaccinated. Yeah, so in many ways it could end up being like when the wave comes around for the fourth time at a baseball game. Ooh yeah, all right. Now the problem is that we just don't know yet. Some experts are saying things are about to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their. their their their. their their. their their. their. their. their. their. their. Their. Their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thiii. th. thiii. th. thiiii. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th Now, the problem is that we just don't know yet.

Some experts are saying things are about to get worse, and some experts are saying things are getting better. It actually makes it hard to know how cautious we should be. That's why I am not taking any chances. I have started licking doorknobs again. But just to be safe, I put a condom on them first. Basically, right now, we're in a race between the people who are masking and getting vaccinated and the people who are spreading the virus. And when you think about it, that's been the question with every big issue in history. Are the people solving the problem, faster

than the people causing the problem? Are the people fixing the climate. Are the people sowing the s-s? the problem. Are the problem. Are people. The. The. T. T. T. T. T. T. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their. their. th. their. th. th. th. th. th. their. their. the people, the people, the people, the people, the people, the people, the people, their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. t t t t t together. together. together. together. th th th th th th th theee. th th the the. the. the, going faster than the people changing it? Are the people building sewage systems faster than the people shitting in the streets? Are we producing King Kongs fast enough to fight the Godzilla's? We never make enough Kongs! Regardless, you want to be one of the people fixing the problem. So please, get vaccinated so that you can go back to living your life and keep your mask on so that you can stay safe. And because time is of the essence here, if you do see the coronavirus, you know what you gotta do.

You gotta stall. Oh, hey, Corona. Yeah, I know you wanna come into my lungs, but before that, I was just wondering, do you have any good podcasts you'd recommend? Uh-huh. Wow, with serial killers. And then like, uh-huh. So, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's, I I I I I that's, I that's, I that's, I that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's that's that's that's thi. thi. thi. the the the the the the the the the tho, the thoooooo-I's thooooooooo-I's thoo'er, tho, tho, th., oh, that's cool. And then like, uh-huh, so the, Ah, ha ha, yeah, that's right. I got the vaccine, bitch!

Woo! When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at.

That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes, a second look on Apple podcasts starting September 17. The coronavirus vaccine. The coronavirus vaccine. It's the reason Pfizer has groupies now. As more and more people get vaccinated, it's going to be safer for all sorts of places to open up again.

But the question is, how will businesses know which of their customers actually have been vaccinated? Well, one possibility that's come up is a whole different kind of V card. Beyond those vaccine record cards people get when they receive their shots, there has been talk about carrying vaccine passports. Vaccine passports, proof of vaccinations to get into concerts,

sporting events, or even travel. With no national standard, states, companies and health care providers are now coming up with their own options. New York State releasing Excelsior Pass for people to upload digital vaccine information and COVID-test results, while overseas many European countries, Japan, Israel, and global airlines are pushing their own vaccine passports, hoping to jumpstart tourism. Yes, welcome to the world of vaccine passports, which I think are a great and simple way to show that you're immune from Corona.

I mean, I've just been going around yelling that I've been shot and you'd think people would relax knowing that I've been vaccinated, but they always seem to freak out. People are weird. to mention, this can help give businesses peace of mind, you know? American businesses want to know that the customers legally carrying assault rifles into their store aren't going to sneeze on anyone. It's safe. And by the way, this isn't an actual passport, okay? Which is a good thing. Because my passport photos always looking like this. I don't know why you take the picture as I'm always sneezing. Also why am I always sneezing? It's just proof of vaccination, which may sound like a novel idea, but it's really nothing new.

I like the idea of the passport in terms of identifying people. We do it all the time. You can't go to college without being vaccinated for Mnichakakis. You can't go to the Mecca for panhaj, unless you've been vaccinated for the same bacteria. So we've used this in a zillion different places. When I registered my kids for camp, I have to go get proof of their vaccination. When they go back to school, I'm going to have to show proof of their vaccination, not for COVID, because they're not old enough, but for all the other things they get vaccinated for. I've traveled to many, many countries where you have to have a yellow card showing that you've been vaccinated for yellow fever. So none of this stuff is new.

That's right. People already have to prove that they've been vaccinated for a t of reasons. Travelers have to be vaccinated to get into many countries. Kindergarteners, they have to get their kootie shot before they go to school. And college students can't enroll until they've been vaccinated. Because the last thing college students want is a meningitis breakout, ruining their gonorrhea breakouts. But just like most things in America, vaccine passports aren't without controversy. In fact, Republican governors in Texas and Florida have already banned businesses in their state from requiring one. And the very idea of vaccine passports has Fox News so freaked out,

they've started standing up for the undocumented. The idea of a vaccine passport is un-American. It's likely unconstitutional. This vaccine passport is just another way to control the American people. It's absolutely wrong. It's antithetical to freedom. It's antithetical to the American way. A nightmare, Orwellian, infrastructure of control, an unprecedented, undemocratic power grab. It's wholly illegal. It's like saying we'll just let private industry discriminate against Americans based on their biological characteristics, which was exactly what Nazi Germany did.

It's so ironic to me that China brought this pandemic to the rest of the world and now Western countries are starting to act like China in terms of their surveillance, in terms of forcing people to do things to have control of all aspects of their lives. I am not overstating this. I can't say th say th say th say th say th say tha tha tha the thi the the thi thi the thiiiiiiii. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. to to to to to to toe. to to toe. to toei. to to toei. to to the thei. the the the. th aspects of their lives. I am not overstating this. I can't say it forcefully enough. This is literally the end of human liberty in the West. Okay, first of all, this is not the end of human liberty in the West. That happened in 2001 when they shut down Napster. Oh, so I can't own your song just because I never paid for it?

That's some bullshit, man. I also wonder if anyone has ever said the phrase, I'm not overstating this, and then not completely overstated something. Like, has anyone ever said, I'm not overstating this. Ham is made from pigs. And look, they can say that this is Nazi Germany, but nobody's forcing you to get a vaccine passport. Like if you th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thu thu that thate thate, thate, thate, that-I th-I th-I th-I th-I th-I th-I th-I th-n. I th-n. I th-n. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th th th thate. I'm thate. I'm to to to to to toean toean toean toean that toean that that that that that th that th th th th that this is Nazi Germany, but nobody's forcing you to get a vaccine passport. Like, if you don't want one, don't get one. You'll just have to pay a coyote to sneak you into Dunkin' Donuts.

Honestly, I really want to know what Fox News is going to do when there's an actual existential crisis, like a real one. Because everything for Fox News is a crisis. Vaccination cards is a crisis. Everything. Dr. Seuss is a crisis. Vaccination cards are a crisis. If Americans have invaded, Fox is going to be like, Yo, this is like that time they got rid of Mr. Potato Head's penis. Now look, just because Fox News is being dramatic,

doesn't mean that there aren't some legitimate concerns around a vaccine passport, especially if that passport ends up being a smartphone app. I think if we're going to look at passports, we also have to look at equity with those passports. Not everybody has a smartphone. I have lots of patients with flip phones, with those little burner phones where they get a certain number of minutes and it's done.

And those patients, those people can't have to be a solution that works for everybody. There's also got to be some kind of paperwork, some other way of doing this, some ideas that have been floated out there are like the little bracelets that you get when you go to Disney, where you scan through everything. What if we can get those to people? We need to really think about how to do this equitably so that everybody who has So vaccine passports can't just be an app, but paper vaccine passports could have all kinds of issues too,

you know, they can be forged, they can get lost. A girl could trick you into writing your phone number on it, and now she's vaccinated. Which is why we need to think outside the box. If you want an easy way for people to prove they're vaccinated, just leave the needle in. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the needle in. tho. th. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho, tho, thate. thate. tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi. tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thate. thate. thate. That. That. that that that that the. that that that that that that that that that that's, the box. If you want an easy way for people to prove they're vaccinated, just leave the needle in. Or if that's impractical because it's a health hazard, then just make the passport t-shirt. Yeah, it's perfect for a night out at the bar or the opera, whatever.

The point is, however we do vaccine passports, we need to make sure that they're accessible to everyone who wants it, otherwise it's not fair. And if we don't do vaccine passports, well, we need to come up with an easy way of identifying who didn't get the vaccine. Like, I don't know, maybe the hat. The coronavirus pandemic.

It's the reason your glasses have been fogged up since last April. Although America is still vaccinating its people at a record pace, unfortunately, coronavirus is stepping up its game too. This morning, the CDC says the dangerous, fast-spreading the the threaten-a-variant is now the dominant COVID-19 strain in the US, racing against the speed of an all-out push to vaccinate. Public health experts say the variants are more transmissible among kids who in the early days of the pandemic were not seen as high risk for infection or serious illness. And now experts are

concerned about what's being called a double mutant coronavirus variant, found in the US for the first time in the San Francisco area. Researchers say the variant found in California's Bay Area may have originated in India and carries two potentially concerning mutations of the virus. You hear that, people? A double mutant coronavirus. Double.

I never thought I'd to see the day when I'd be nostalgic for original Corona. Because every time this thing mutates, it just the th, it th, it th, it thi, it just thi, it just thi, it just thii, it just thi, it just thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, it just thi, it just thi, it just thi, it just thi, it just thi, it just, it just the the the the the the the the th. thi, the thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, ththought I'd see the day when I'd be nostalgic for original corona, because every time this thing mutates, it just gets more dangerous. Like just once, just once. I wish I could turn on the news and hear that a virus mutated in a good way. This just end from the CDC. There's a new mutant corona strain that makes you perform better and bad. And don't forget, this double mutant comes on top of the UK variant, which is now the dominant strain in America. So well done, King George. You played that long game. And look, the experts will tell you that this is just another reason to get everyone vaccinated,

but none of these so-called doctors and scientists give you the other point of view. So we at the Daily Show made a PSA for why you maybe shouldn't get the vaccine. I know there are some people out there telling you not to get vaccinated and you know what they're right. They are right. They're so right. They're right. If we all get vaccinated, then life goes back to the way it used to be. And do we really want that? Do you really want to drink at a bar with all of your friends? Instead of at home, where your family judges every single beer that you have?

Getting vaccinated means meeting new people to have sex with. Gross. Now warm washcloth in the shower, sign me up. Do you really want to watch the new James Bond movie on a huge screen with room shaking sound? Hell no! I'm gonna watch it on my phone as the director intended. I don't want to eat my burger at the restaurant when it's hot and crispy.

I wanted to spend some time traveling to my house first, so it's nice and mushy. You want to get vaccinated so you can go to a Beyonce concert? She has enough money. And another thing about drinking, most public places won't let you bring your own beer bowl. That's right, beer bowl. It's an invention I made all by myself. So let the people who get vaccinated walk around without a mask. As for me, I enjoy smelling my own breath. Mmm, tuna fish. The Daily Show with Trevor Noah, Ears Edition.

Watch the Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central and the Comedy Central app. Watch full episodes and videos at the Daily Show. to follow us on Facebook, Twitter Instagram. And subscribe to the Daily Show on YouTube for exclusive content and more. When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives.

But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes, a second look on Apple podcasts starting September 17.